Lost, scared, and quite possibly confused, I trudge on with the little meaning I have left...
Again and again, my thoughts have enveloped my body. I was paralyzed from toe to ear.
I am in the middle of packing my belongings in a somewhat decent travel bag. It wasn't much, it was only about 150 curren from the cheapest item shop in Corona, but it did work well. Frankly, I didn't have much belongings to begin with. Most of which I usually wear on my body, especially my robe with it's multitude of convenient pockets. Now, I realized that I didn't have much on me despite having, what they would say, an "okay" income for a farmer's boy.
I guess buying new things every once in a while doesn't appeal to me as much as it does with other people. I never really thought about buying things, actually. I didn't want my already saddened father to feel pressured about my selfish wants.
Even now, even when he's already gone.
My eyes darted back and forth with all my belongings. "Am I really going to do this...?" I asked myself for the hundredth time this morning. I sat on my bed, grasping the book mother wrote. The silence and lingering dread made sure I heard my fast heartbeat. The cold sweat on my palms kept me from breaking down. "No one is stopping me..." I said to myself as I finally decided to place the book in my bag.
I exited my house, and looked at it one more time.
I have thought about burning it down, but it would've been stupid. Childish, even. Even if I never want to go back, even if I forget this dreadful past of mine, I could never erase the scar it had on my heart. It's true that I had the short end of the stick when it came to the life of an outskirt peasant, but, in all honesty, what sort of choice did I have?
Besides, even if father would've wanted to burn this old hut into Vendacti's soil, I'm sure mother wanted to keep this memory. And that's what's important.
Right, mother...?
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I never dreamed of finding myself here. Sun Capitol, the heart of the Kingdom of the Sun. Where the light of the nobles shine as bright as the Sun's incandescence.
Many stories revolve around the noble houses, or so I heard. With the most powerful family at the top of the Kingdom, the Carlos family, then came the 12 or so noble families that pledged their allegiance to them. But all of the stories lead to one undeniable fact, that the Carlos family are the direct descendants of the Dragonslayer himself.
Though, in the end, all of that is left to the history books to decide. I, for one, have no idea what went through their heads all those years ago. Whether it was for power, peace, or liberation, the so-called self-proclamation of the Carlos family was the dawn of a new era for humanity. And whether it was true that they are the descendants of the Dragonslayer or not, it was no longer a matter of debate. Their influence had already affected all the citizens that clambered along the walls of the Sun Capitol that the mere thought of questioning their power was as ridiculous as befriending a demihuman.
Ever since word got out of King William's passing, her brother, Regent Theodore, had temporarily taken over as substitute ruler until her niece would reach the right age. There, she would be the Kingdom of the Sun's new queen.
So far, that is what I know. I don't talk about royalty or anything like that. Knowing where I'm from, it is something that far isn't up to us to speak about. Let alone think about, for we have no business floundering about the riches that we can never obtain. Still, I felt the atmosphere thicken the moment we all learned about the late king's death.
He was, after all, what father would say, "An excellent ruler".
As for my current situation, I don't really know where to start. I don't exactly remember the Officer in Training telling me where to go in case I do end up making this decision. Was she expecting me to know where? Maybe, but for the sake of my own cluelessness, I had to take action somehow.
Look at me, a country boy within the big city. I suppose mother would find this somewhat amusing.
And so, I spent the next hour or so asking for directions. Most people just straight up ignored me, but I didn't mind. I was kind of expecting them not to answer me, anyway. But, somehow, luck had smiled upon me today. "HEY! WHERE DO YOU SIGN UP FOR THE MILITARY?! HEY! HEY, HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU! DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!" I saw a short, ill-tempered girl right in the middle of a cross section. I'd have a feeling she'd beat me down if I ever try to talk to her.
Nonetheless, she'd lead me to registration.
Hopefully.
"Hello, are you looking for military registration, too?" I asked her nicely, trying to at least calm her down and avoid any unnecessary fighting. She immediately turned her gaze towards me, and I saw her eyes shine in response. "Yes I am! And you are...?" It took me 2 full seconds to think of an appropriate reply to say to her. "I am Roxas. I was hoping we'd look together. I'm kind of lost..." "Hmph! Well, you might not know me, but you shall be granted the honor of knowing me first! I am the Great Sharice Carterwell! Nice to meet you! So, do you have any idea where it is...?" I shrugged at her question. "I don't know. All I got is this military recommendation." "Oh? Can I see it?" I handed it to her without question. "Woah, from Officer Naya herself!?" "Is that good...?" "Hell yeah it's good! Oh, I know where she's stationed right now! Follow me!" She gave it back to me before going into an all out sprint.
With little hesitation I had left, I had ran after her. Unsure whether following her was the best idea I had in mind.
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More or less, I was happy I took that small leap of faith.
I find myself outside of Sun Capitol. We exited from the southern gate and headed west to the open plains. Apparently this is where most of the military is situated.
Soldiers are constantly bustling in and out of the gates. Whether it's for training or convenient labor, I'm going to find that out soon enough.
"I swear, it was around here somewhere..." I overheard Sharice talk to herself as she looks around for Naya's office. "I cannot fail to remember! I am the greatest! I must not falter!" Aside from decently sized brick buildings, most of the shelters here are tents, so I have no idea how an office would be situated in a small tent.
I figured that it would take quite some time for Sharice to find Naya's office.
But, lo and behold, Sharice's eyes widened as she pointed out to a single tent from our location. "Oh! OH! It's that one! Come on!" Her enthusiasm got the best of me as I got dragged to the very tent she pointed to. I closed my eyes for one second and we were there in a flash. Without the slightest bit of worry, she went inside. I merely sighed as I did the same.
"Good morning, what do you need from me?" I immediately recognized that voice. Naya turned to the both of us as I entered. "Officer Naya!" Sharice immediately stood straight and did a salute. My body froze, as I didn't exactly knew what to do. Should I be doing a salute like what Sharice is doing? There's a part of me that forces me to succumb to this type of pressure, but at the same time, my very own indecisiveness froze my body from head to toe.
"I am Sharice Carterwell! And this is..." she paused for a second before poking me. "I kind of forgot your name..." I sighed as I tried my very best to hide my disappointment. "Roxas Alderan Von Zayne, ma'am..."
"Von Zayne...? What do you want? I'm in the middle of something..." Naya stood there with her arms crossed, itching for us to answer. "Uh... Officer Naya, correct? I thought about your offer and, well, I've decided to take it." I did my very best to speak from all the unexpected pressure. I slowly pulled out my Recommendation Slip and gave it to her. "Well..." she said with a faint smile. "I suppose you're not here just for the sword, are you?" I slowly nodded silently. "That settles that, wait for me outside. I'll enlist you once I finish my business." Once again, I nodded silently as I did what I was told. "W-What about me!?" I heard Sharice spoke up before I stepped out.
Frankly, following someone's orders was a new experience for me. I personally wouldn't count my experience working under Carrie. The flower shop business was more into initiative and routine work than anything. Well, it would still fall under taking orders, but I feel like this is a brand new environment for me.
Admiring the smooth yet dusty work rounds of a few soldiers, I could hear Sharice shout at the top of her lungs from outside. Although she was shouting, I couldn't exactly hear what she was saying. I just assumed she was upset about something. After a short while, Sharice greeted me outside with an irritated face. "What happened?" I asked her in the most polite manner I could. "I have to go to another officer in charge. Naya can't take me because I don't have her recommendation..." "Really? Well..." At this point, I've ran out of things to say. "It's dumb. I've already had my turn with her. Hmph! But it doesn't matter! I am the Great Sharice Carterwell! Even a small process won't be able to stop me!" She proudly declared, directing all of the attention towards her.
I'll be honest, I would be embarrassed if I caught that much attention in public. I'd break if I were in her position. But, she maintained all her dignity. She is proud to show it, even.
"Anyway, thanks for bringing me, I guess..." Sharice spoke up quietly, rubbing the back of her neck. "You know, I should be the one saying that." I chuckled silently as I placed my hand on her shoulder. "I'll meet you on the field. If you manage to enlist yourself, that is..." I said to her with a warm smile. "Sure..."
As if on cue, Naya had exited the tent just in time for my talk with Sharice to end. "Let's go, Von Zayne." "Yes, ma'am!" I replied with a little more energy than last time. Naya flashed a small grin at me before beginning to walk. I immediately followed suit. As we were walking away, I turned to Sharice one more time and gave her a thumbs up. She did the same and began walking the other way.
For a girl with a small stature like that, she has a big heart. Even when her mouth gets too big for her own good...
We began walking around the encampment. I suppose we were walking towards a registration center, but I had trouble focusing on one thing. The amount of activity, noise, and smell was all too much for my weak senses to bear. I felt somewhat nauseous.
I'm not getting used to this new environment any time soon.
"So, Von Zayne." My senses returned just in time for me to hear Naya speak up. "Yes, ma'am?" "How exactly did you take a sword from our own military? You do realize that theft of military equipment and property is punishable by law, right?" And to be frank, she was right. If Colonel Levon hadn't given me special permission to wield that particular sword, I wouldn't have been able to spend the last year in Corona in a flower shop.
I'd be rotting in the underbelly of the Kingdom.
"It's an interesting story, really." "Really? Then tell me. I wouldn't mind listening." Judging from her look, I was sure that my story would be able to kill some time. Besides, I have never told anyone else what happened that night.
Not even Marcus.
"Do you know that fire that engulfed Corona last year?" "Hmm..." she stopped to think, but sighed in defeat. "No, but I heard of the one that struck Corona a few months back. Last year, was it?"
"Yes" I nodded.
"It was already nighttime when it happened. I didn't know much back then, but I knew it was caused by a rampaging Acelin."
"The bandit!? Damn it..." Naya held a clump of her hair and ran her hand through it. It was clear to me that she was frustrated about something.
"Are you okay, ma'am?"
"Oh! I'm sorry. Continue..."
"I heard a platoon of soldiers running through the streets to respond to the bandit, but even they failed and died in the process." I heard Naya shudder for a moment. I wanted to stop and ask her what's wrong, but I went on.
"I stumbled upon their dead bodies. And because of one small flicker of reckless bravery, I had decided to take one sword and sheathe and face Acelin alone. I'm not going to lie, I had almost died that night. The pain was unimaginable. But, somehow, I managed to fend him off. He escaped, but I was unable to do anything to prevent that."
"Then Colonel Levon came. I told him what happened and he somehow believed me. I don't know if it was out of the kindness of his heart, but he allowed me to take the sword and keep it. Then, he just left. Just like that. Now I own a sword from the Kingdom. Well, until you took it, of course."
Naya nodded silently. "Wow..." she whispered. "Even after all that, I still couldn't believe you." Well, I don't really blame her. In fact, if I were to tell the same exact story to another random person, they wouldn't believe me either. Or worse, they would call me insane.
But, after all I've done, felt, and seen, I'm surprised I haven't gone insane myself.
I nodded to her in silence as we continued to walk in between the slots of the encampment. Soon, we stopped our tracks in front of a tent, one larger than the others. "Alright, get inside." And so, I did what I was told yet again.
There was a reason why this particular tent was larger than the rest, but I couldn't quite grasp the reason for it being so.
The thought disappeared as I began looking around.
"Colonel Levon! I've got a new recruit!" Naya called out from the entrance. I had expected the war hero to greet the both of us, but instead a silver-haired lady took her place.
"Naya!"
"Dear Sione!" The two girls embraced each other, practically forgetting my existence.
"I thought you'd be back at the 30th?"
"Oh, the Angie didn't mind. Besides, it has been a while since I've been here." The silver haired woman's attention was finally directed at me.
"He's a new recruit?" She pointed at me, looking at Naya with curiosity. Naya nodded in reply.
"He's also the same one who took that sword. From last year, I mean..." she added.
"Oh... okay, then. You're looking for Colonel Levon, right? He's out right now, but he should be back any moment. In any case, I'll see you later, dear Naya." She hugged her again, exchanged smiles, and left the tent. From what I can see, she isn't really too pleased with my presence. "We'll wait here, Von Zayne." Naya grumbled as she took a seat. Without much choice, I took a seat parallel to where she sat.
"You're not very social, are you?" Naya said from the opposite end of the tent. "It's just that..." my own response was cut short by a lump on my throat. Even though answering this would easily be done, somehow, I couldn't do it. "It's just... I'm back to being alone..." I said, aware that my own voice faltered from it. Naya sighed loudly.
"Listen, you're not going to get far with that kind of attitude. Have some resolve."
"Resolve...?"
"You fought Acelin, didn't you? Heh, you even said it yourself." Naya smirked. "Come on. If you're going to commit yourself to this, you better have no regrets!"
"Naya? Oh, I thought I heard voices..." Colonel Levon entered the tent, cutting off her speech.
How she says it reminds me of how my mother used to say things to me to make me feel better. Though it lacked the tenderness behind it, it's close.
"Colonel!" Naya cleared her throat. "I've got a new recruit." Her hand directed his attention at me. I stood up and did a half-hearted salute. Better that than nothing, I suppose.
"His name, Naya?"
"Von Zayne. Roxas Von Zayne..."
"Hold on a second, Von Zayne?"
"You heard me."
"Oh! Well, I've never thought I would be seeing you here." Colonel Levon smiled warmly. I gave a faint smile in return.
"Hmm... wait a moment..." his eyes narrowed as he inspected me.
"Where is the sword?"
"Uh... Miss Naya confiscated it. She gave me a recommendation, though."
"Really, now? It seems that my judgement was right all along. I did hear that Corona is getting better every day, is it not?"
"Yes, sir. I even helped them with the reconstruction and all."
"Mhm, excellent. Now..." he walked over to the single table at the far end of the tent and took out a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink. "I'll enlist you once you fill out this form and the permission of your parents." I promptly took the form and quill, and sat down in front of the wooden table.
But there is an underlying problem...
"Sir Levon?"
"Yes?"
"I apologize but... my parents are dead..."
"Oh... I'm incredibly sorry to hear that." He stopped to think for a moment. Thankfully, he cleared away the gloomy atmosphere immediately.
"Alright then, please fill out the form, I think I know an alternative." He said as he sat behind the table and began pulling out it's drawers.
"Naya, you can go back to your station now. Thank you." With that, Naya stood firmly, saluted, and left without a single word.
"Ah, here it is." He smiled, holding an even smaller piece of parchment. "This is an oath. All you need to do is to sign here, at the back." he said while pointing at the parchment's back portion. "Once you're done with the form, I want you to read the oath before signing it. Do you understand?"
"Uhm... yes, sir..."
"It seems that is your start."
I finished up the form without any problem. Then came the oath.
On the small parchment, I read:
"By this oath, you shall lend your heart, body, and soul to the prosperity and safety of the Kingdom of the Sun, that the arms you bring into battle are for the future of the people, and with the Sun being your only witness, you shall grip your blade, shield, and bow, and never cease to shine!"
Wow...
All this for one soldier?
I looked up at Colonel Levon. He was waiting.
It was at this point where I looked back on all my memories.
I tired myself out for the sake of living. I have done things out of the recklessness of my own heart. I have foolishly and often unwillingly allowed myself to be hurt. My hands were no longer the same, soft hands my mother used to hold. And whenever I embraced peace, the call of pain and suffering would always woo me back.
But no more.
I won't run anymore.
If facing it would give me a reason to truly live my life to it's fullest, then the only direction I'll take is towards it.
With a deep breath, I signed the oath.
May the Sun's glory bless my very decision...
