Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any part of the Harry Potter characters or universe as crafted by JK Rowling. Anything recognizable in this chapter is taken from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Chapter 22: Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs… and Moony
There was a story of a girl, who always seemed to find herself in some sort of trouble. The details were fuzzy but somehow she always managed to find a way out, no matter how impossible it seemed. There was a particular instance where she found herself cornered by a rather irate pirate lord. Irate, because she had taken it upon herself to cripple his entire armada and free hundreds of slaves that he'd been trafficking. The moment he cornered her in the midst of her plan, it seemed like there was no way out.
Kaelix wasn't sure why this particular story from her childhood resurfaced in her mind at this particular moment. Perhaps it was the similarity between that pirate and Professor Snape; the pure rage he was spitting, the weapon poised for the deathblow, and the insurmountable look of triumph over catching his prey. Or perhaps it was the idea that she finally knew how helpless that girl must have felt, backed into a corner, desperately looking for any way out.
"Give me a reason, Black," Snape's voice was a terrifying whisper. "Give me a reason and I swear I'll do it."
Black stopped dead, his expression laced with more hatred than ever. He looked ready to strangle Snape with his bare hands, not quite realizing yet what Kaelix already had. He was a cornered animal, Snape was blinded by rage, and this wasn't just some children's story that they could wiggle their way out of. Snape's wand arm was trembling, finding Black, catching him like this had broken something within the professor.
Hermione was the first of them to take a tentative step forward. If Kaelix could have silently warned her against it she would have, but Hermione's terrified attention was focused entirely on Snape as she tried to reason with him.
"Professor Snape, it- it wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w- would it?"
"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from school," Snape spat. "You, Potter, and Weasley are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue."
That went about as well as could have been expected. Kaelix grimaced as Hermione tried again.
"But if- if there was a mistake, shouldn't we-"
"Keep quiet, you stupid girl!" he shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. "Don't talk about what you don't understand!" A few sparks shot out the end of his wand, which was still pointing at Black's face.
Hermione fell silent, shrinking away from him with a retreating step.
"Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you…"
"The joke's on you again, Severus, as it always is," Black snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle," he jerked his head at Weasley, "I'll come quietly."
Snape's mouth curled in a cruel grin, twisting that glint of delight in his eyes. "Up to the castle?" he asked. "I don't think we need to go that far. The dementors are ready at the gate, they've already been given the order. Once we get out of the Willow, you won't get to take another step. At least, not with your soul intact."
All of the color drained from Black's face as he finally realized how cornered he was. She saw the wheels start spinning behind his eyes, saw him searching for an angle, any angle to make Snape see reason.
"You don't understand, Snape, I didn't-" he croaked, the malice was gone from his voice and he sounded more desperate than he had all evening. "The rat," he pleaded, "just look at the rat-"
But that mad glint in Snape's eyes betrayed the fact that he wouldn't listen to reason. At least not if Black was the one trying to deliver it.
"Whatever web of lies you fed your dear old friend won't work on me, Black," he spat. "I know who you are, I've always known."
"Professor?" Kaelix interjected.
As much as it pained her to admit, if there was a chance that Black wasn't actually responsible for this entire mess, he at least deserved a fair shot at proving it. Hadn't she been musing over that very same possibility herself, earlier in the school year? Before she realized… Everyone had claimed he was after Potter, but Potter wasn't in Gryffindor tower on Halloween, it hadn't been Potter he'd been caught looming over in the middle of the night, and it hadn't been Potter that he had dragged down here tonight.
Snape made no acknowledgement that he'd heard her, and she wondered for a moment if he'd even realized she was still there.
"What if he's innocent?" she posed, ignoring the desperate look Black gave her.
"He isn't."
"Most likely," she agreed. "But aren't you the least bit curious about what they've got to say?" she asked, suddenly wishing she'd spent more time watching those cop shows about negotiating with people on the edge of a breakdown.
"No. It won't change anything."
Kaelix fought to keep herself from groaning. How was it that adults so often found themselves behaving like children, leaving the children to fill the responsible adult role? Potter's wand arm twitched and Kaelix shook her head slightly. Give me another try, she silently asked him.
"You're right," she conceded, "nothing will change. Because even if he's not a traitor, they'll always be the ones who bullied you in school, right? But is that really worth killing a man over?" He clenched his jaw and opened his mouth to retort but she didn't let him. "Because that's what we're talking about here. If murder is off the table, then you'd be giving him to the dementors for what, calling you names a lifetime ago? Could you really live with that?"
There was a drawn out silence filled only with the continued frantic squeaking of Scabbers-Peter. Kaelix thought she might have swayed Snape a bit, given the amount of time he was spending considering her words.
"It doesn't matter," he said, "because he's guilty."
"I'm not saying he isn't. But if there's a chance, even if it's basically zero, wouldn't it be more satisfying to know for certain?"
"I'm already certain."
She barely contained her huff and eyeroll. "Right, well, before we go tossing him to the dementors, you should know that the rat Weasley is holding, the one Black has been after all year, isn't really a rat," she said with a tone of nonchalance that impressed herself. "Which is a mark in the credibility column of the case they were making before you went all dramatic reveal on us."
"He's been after Potter," Snape growled, his nostrils flaring.
"If he's been after Potter he's been doing a piss poor job of it."
"How would you know?" he snapped.
She sighed. "I already told you, there's something wrong with me. But that's irrelevant, unless it's common for rats to possess magic, then that," she pointed at Scabbers-Peter's still struggling form, "is not a rat."
As if to emphasize her point, Scabbers-Peter screeched and thrashed in Weasley's grip, desperately struggling to break free.
Snape's wand arm had steadied. He was listening.
"That's what we were up to for all those years," Black said quietly. "We became animagi, all of us. Peter's form is a rat. That's how he got away from me in the street, after he betrayed Lily and James. He's been hiding ever since."
"You expect me to believe that you made Pettigrew their Secret Keeper? That weak, skittish, poor excuse of a man."
"That's exactly why we did it," said Black.
Renewed anger flared across Snape's features at Black's words. "Because you wanted them dead?"
"No," Black croaked. "No one thought of Peter, no one noticed him. I convinced James and Lily that he would be a safer choice because no one would ever suspect it. No one would ever come after him."
Snape's face twitched as he fought an inner war of bias against reason.
"Seems like the fact that you don't even believe it, kind of backs up the reasoning behind the decision," said Kaelix.
"You're using him as a scapegoat, covering for each other the way you always used to do." Snape still wasn't convinced, or at least he didn't want to be.
"Force him out, Snape. If you're going to give me to the dementors, at least let me take Peter along too," Black said.
"What's the harm in that?" Kaelix asked. "Force him out. One spell."
"Even if Pettigrew is alive, that doesn't prove anything," his voice was low.
Black was shaking his head. "You never were very bright-"
Snape's eyes flared. Kaelix passed a look of resignation and a nod to Potter.
"Will you. Shut. Up." Kaelix hissed at Black.
"I don't take orders from you," he snapped back.
"I'm trying to stop him from killing you, you ass," she snapped.
"You didn't seem to be doing a very good job, so forgive me for wanting to give it a go myself."
"Piggybacking onto the point that I was already making."
"Will you both shut up!" Shape shouted, momentarily distracted.
"Expelliarmus!" three voices rang out at once.
Streaks of light flew across the room and impacted Professor Snape square in the chest. Caught off guard, he was blown back by the force of it and she heard his head crack against the wall.
"Bloody hell, as if disarming him wasn't enough, you had to knock him unconscious," she snapped at them as she moved to check on the professor's slumped form.
"It worked, didn't it?" Potter said.
"Of course it did, but it would have worked just as well with only one of you disarming him," she said.
"Well next time we need to attack a teacher to diffuse and lifelong feud, mortal enemy situation we'll scale back to reduce our chances of success," Potter quipped back.
Kaelix shot him an unpleasant look, which he returned with a scowl.
Hermione looked like she was at the edge of a full blown panic attack. "We attacked a teacher," she said as if she didn't quite believe it herself. "We attacked a teacher!"
"Nothing he didn't deserve," grunted Black, untying Remus and pulling him to his feet.
"He would have listened if you'd kept your big mouth shut," she hissed.
"Kaelix, I'm afraid even if he had listened to us he wouldn't have heard us, not really," said Remus, rubbing the life back into his wrists. "We both have a long history with Professor Snape and most of it is bad."
Something in his voice had her looking between Black and Remus, connecting the unspoken dots that he'd been alluding to.
"He's the friend that almost got Professor Snape killed?" Remus didn't quite meet her searing gaze, which was enough confirmation for her to turn to Black. "What kind of a person sends an unsuspecting boy to stumble upon a fully transformed werewolf? He would have been killed if someone hadn't stopped him. How could you do something so horrible to another human being?"
"He's hardly a human being," Black muttered.
"Unbelievable. I should have let him take you. I should have just…" she waved a hand vaguely toward the direction she assumed the castle was.
"Kaelix, please," said Remus.
But she wasn't done. "Did you even stop to think about Remus before you sent Snape on his merry way that night? About what that would have done to him, to wake up and realize what had happened? What he would have done? I can almost understand you not giving a damn about Snape, but Remus could have killed someone. Just because you don't seem to have the capacity to value human life or enough of a conscience to keep you from ending it, doesn't give you the right to put anyone else in that position, least of all someone that you claimed as a best friend."
"Kaelix," Remus chastised. "That's enough."
"Is it?" she countered, though her flaming gaze never left Black.
He was looking at the floor so she couldn't tell whether or not her words had had any impact at all. But regardless, she wanted to slap him.
"Is he alright?" Remus asked, gesturing to Professor Snape and moving closer.
"He seems to be, from what I can tell," she said.
"We're going to be in so much trouble…" Hermione whimpered.
"Everything will be fine, Hermione," Remus said, peering down at Snape. "We're better off with Severus… indisposed. Even if it wasn't the most ideal route to get there."
"You're only better off," Kaelix said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "if you can prove you're not lying. And right now eye witness accounts and your own track record aren't on your side."
"I still don't understand what you're even doing here," Black muttered.
Kaelix's expression hardened, she clenched her fist and whispered, "Of course you don't understand."
"What does any of this have to do with you?" he snapped.
Her jaw clenched but that didn't stop the tears from welling up. She fought against the involuntary twitch of her mouth as she opened it, but the words didn't come.
"Her mother was in the street, Sirius," Remus supplied quietly.
In a split second Black's face fell and regret etched it's way across his features. "I- I'm sorry."
Her gut twisted, her anger pushing her voice back into her throat. "That won't bring her back."
"I know," he croaked.
"And it's your fault."
"I know."
"And you-"
"I didn't mean for anyone else to-"
"You think it matters at all what you meant? She's gone," her voice cracked. "Forever. All because you decided to blow an entire street apart to kill one man who you didn't even manage to kill."
"I didn't- I-"
"You didn't what? Think? Care?" she spat at him. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised after hearing what you tried to do to Snape and Remus. Apparently you never think about anyone but yourself."
"Kaelix, stop," Remus actually snapped at her.
"You offered proof," she snapped back, leaning into her words.
"Then it's time we gave it to you," he said sharply. "Ron, give me Peter, please. Now."
Weasley clutched Scabbers-Peter closer to his chest.
"Come off it," he said weakly. "Are you trying to say he broke out of Azkaban just to get his hands on Scabbers? I mean…" He looked up at Potter and Hermione for support, "Okay, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat. There are millions of rats, how's he supposed to know which one he's after if he was locked up in Azkaban?"
"You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," said Remus, turning to Black with a slight frown. "How did you find out where he was?"
Black didn't look quite recovered from the blow Kaelix had dealt him, he was either sincerely shaken by the prospect of facing the child of one of his victims, or he was a good actor. He put one of his gaunt hands inside his robes and withdrew a crumpled piece of paper. He smoothed it flat and held it out to Remus, Kaelix could tell it had been folded and refolded many, many times.
"I'll be damned," Remus whispered.
Kaelix stepped closer and Remus showed her the photograph. It was Weasley and his entirely too large family, it looked like a clipping from the Daily Prophet she'd seen when digging through the archives earlier that year. And sure enough, sitting on Weasley's shoulder, was Scabbers-Peter.
"How did you get this?" she asked, her critical gaze trained on him once more.
"Fudge," he grunted. "The Minister. When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page… on this boy's shoulder. I knew him instantly, the number of times I'd seen him transform." Black was shaking his head. "And the caption said that the boy would be returning to Hogwarts in the fall… back to where Harry was…"
"You expect us to believe that you could tell from that grainy old picture that it wasn't just any old rat, but specifically that it was Pettigrew?" Kaelix asked.
"That photo's not grainy," Weasley said defensively.
"I probably wouldn't have known for certain if it wasn't for-"
"My god," said Remus softly, they all looked to him as he shifted his gaze from Scabbers-Peter to the picture and back again. "His front paw…"
"What about it?" Weasley asked in a high pitch.
"He's got a toe missing," said Black.
"Of course," Remus breathed. "So simple… so brilliant… he cut it off himself, didn't he?"
"Just before he transformed, I assume," said Black. "When I had him cornered, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. And before I could curse him, he transformed and ran down the sewer to the rats… The cleverest thing he's ever done, really, borne entirely out of cowardice."
"Didn't you ever hear, Ron?" Remus asked. "The biggest bit of Peter they could find, was his finger?"
"Why wait so long to bring all this up? If Pettigrew really is the one who betrayed the Potters, why didn't you tell anyone back then about him being an animagus?" Kaelix asked.
"I never got the chance," said Black. "Peter made sure of that."
"They sent him to Azkaban without a trial. Everyone thought Sirius was the Secret Keeper, even me. So when Harry's parents' location was betrayed to Voldemort, well… that was pretty damning evidence. Not to mention a whole street full of witnesses who thought they saw Sirius kill Peter. But finding a rat with the same missing toe…" Remus trailed off.
"Look, Scabbers probably had a fight with another rat or something!" said Weasley.
"Come off it, Weasley. Why are you so desperate?" said Kaelix. "If he's not a traitorous murderer then you can keep him, but if he is, do you really want him sleeping in your bed?"
"He's not- He can't be- He's been in my family for ages, right- He just-"
"Twelve years, right, Ron?" said Remus. "Didn't you ever wonder why he was living so long?"
"We- We've been taking good care of him is all," said Weasley.
Kaelix snorted.
He scowled at her and snapped defensively, "We have!"
"I don't imagine any amount of 'good care' would extend a rat's life four times over," Kaelix said.
"He's not been looking good lately, has he?" Remus said. "I'd guess he's been losing weight ever since he heard Sirius was on the loose again."
"He's been terrorized by that mad cat!" said Weasley, nodding toward Crookshanks.
The mad cat was purring in the arm chair, eyes locked on Scabbers-Peter's struggling form.
"This cat isn't mad," said Black hoarsely. He reached out a bony hand and stroked Crookshanks' fluffy head. "He's the most intelligent of his kind I've ever met. He recognized Peter for what he was right away, before he even met me. And when we did meet, he knew I wasn't really a dog. It was a while before he trusted me… But eventually I managed to communicate to him what I was after and he's been trying to help me get to Peter ever since.
"What do you mean, helping you?" Hermione breathed.
"He tried to bring Peter to me but couldn't manage to get hold of him. After that he managed to steal the passwords to Gryffindor Tower for me. Unfortunately, after I tried to break in on Halloween Peter got wind of what I was going trying to do and he ran for it," Black explained.
"You meant for the Tower to be empty after all," Kaelix said.
He nodded solemnly, "I knew it was the perfect opportunity to get Peter alone. But unfortunately I forgot how… unreasonable the Fat Lady could be. That's why he stole the passwords for me. This cat - Crookshanks, did you call him? - told me Peter had left blood on the sheets and disappeared. I supposed he bit himself, faking his own death had worked for twelve years already, why not give it another go?"
Kaelix opened her mouth for another question but something in Potter snapped.
"And why did he have to fake his own death the first time?" he said furiously. "Because he knew you were about to kill him just like you killed my parents!"
"No, Harry, listen-" said Remus.
"And now you've come to finish him off!"
"Yes, I have," said Black, with a voice so level that it was unsettling.
Scabber-Peter screeched in response.
"So your whole play here is that it's not your fault anyone else died and you're here for murder? That doesn't exactly scream 'innocent' to me," said Kaelix.
"I never claimed to be innocent, did I?" Black's voice was hollow.
"Then Williams was right, we should have let Snape take you," Potter snapped.
"Haven't you been listening, Potter?" she snapped. "He said they switched at the last minute."
"Who's side are you on anyway?" Weasley demanded.
"She's right," Remus said. "Don't you see? All this time we've thought it was Sirius who betrayed your parents and that Peter tracked him down for revenge, but it was the other way around. Peter was always the coward, it's so obvious now I can't believe I never saw it before. Peter is the traitor, he gave your parents to Voldemort, and Sirius was the only one who knew, so he was the one who tracked Peter down in the street that day, he was-"
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Potter yelled. "HE WAS THEIR SECRET-KEEPER! HE SAID SO BEFORE YOU TURNED UP, HE SAID HE KILLED THEM."
He was pointing at Black, who shook his head slowly.
"Harry…" his sunken eyes were suddenly overbright. "I might as well have killed them," he croaked. "I was the one that persuaded Lily and James to switch to Peter at the last moment, I persuaded them to use him as their Secret-Keeper instead of me. I'm to blame, I know that. I'd arranged to check on Peter, to make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he wasn't there. It didn't feel right, there was no sign of a struggle. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away, without telling anyone. And when I got there… The house was already destroyed, and their bodies… I realized what Peter must have done… What I had done…"
His voice broke and he turned away.
Kaelix knew. A part of her had known all along, she supposed, that Black hadn't been the one to do the horrible things he's been accused of. She'd known it didn't add up, she'd questioned the story behind the events, and questioned the motives that people said had led him to the castle. But when she'd realized that her mother had been in the street that day, when she'd realized the true extent of what he'd caused, she'd blamed him anyway, even if he wasn't true.
"You didn't blow the street up, did you?" her voice was small.
"I might as well have," he said solemnly.
"It wasn't your fault, Sirius, you couldn't have known," said Remus.
"If I hadn't switched at the last minute. If I hadn't gone after Peter and confronted him in the street. If I had only trusted you," he said to Remus.
A shiver went down Kaelix's spine and it didn't occur to her that it was a warm summer evening and she'd been cold since her outburst earlier.
"He's the one that did it, isn't he? As a distraction," she said.
Black only nodded.
Kaelix's gut clenched. "Why didn't you say anything then? You let him hide for all these years when someone could have been tracking him down?"
"I-" he collected himself for a moment. "I was blinded by my rage from what Peter had done, what I had done. Peter had set me up, and he'd done a damn good job of it. I knew no one would believe me. He'd shouted for the street to hear that it was me, that I was the traitor and then blew it up before anyone was paying enough attention to see that it wasn't me. I knew in that moment that I was going to Azkaban, and I knew that without Peter I was going to die there. I was out of my mind with grief for Lily and James, for Remus left alone thinking I'd betrayed him, for you Harry. I couldn't believe that Peter had bested us all, out of sheer cowardice. And I'd set him up to pull it off."
There was so much remorse, so much sorrow in his voice that the fiery anger that had burned in the pit of her stomach for weeks finally flickered and then went out. She averted her gaze from the broken man.
"Enough of this," said Remus, and there was a steely note in his voice that Kaelix had only heard once before. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Ron, give me that rat."
"What are you going to do with him if I do?" Weasley asked Remus tensely.
"Force him to show himself," said Remus. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him."
Weasley still hesitated.
"I'm sure your parents will replace your rat if he turns out to be a murderer in disguise," Kaelix offered.
He glared at her with more vehement than ever before. Then at long last, he held out Scabbers-Peter and Remus took him. Scabbers-Peter began squeaking more frantically, twisting and turning, his tiny black eyes bulging in his head.
"I suppose that's just a coincidence?" she asked.
Remus sent her a chastising look before turning to Sirius, "Ready?"
Black had already retrieved Snape's wand from where it had landed across the room. He approached Remus and the struggling rat, and his sunken eyes suddenly seemed to be shining again.
"Together?" he said quietly.
"Together," Remus agreed, holding Scabbers-Peter tightly in one hand and his wand in the other. "On the count of three. One - two - THREE!"
A flash of blue-white light erupted from both wands; for a moment, Scabbers-Peter was frozen in midair, his small gray form twisted at a strange angle. Weasley yelled. The rat fell and hit the floor. There was another blinding flash of light and then-
It was like watching a speeded-up film of a growing tree, but more like an animated version of those posters that show the evolution of apes into humans. The animal features shifted; limbs grew longer; the tail shrinking into nothing; the hunched form of a man slowly taking shape to stand upright where a rat had just been. Crookshanks was standing in a tense posture, spitting and snarling, his hackles raised.
The man that stood before them was remarkably rat-like even in his human form, it was the eyes and nose that looked like they retained something of the rat form after having been transformed for so long. He was much shorter than Kaelix had expected, not any taller than herself. His thin hair was the color of Scabbers' fur and there was a large bald patch on top. His clothes were too big, giving him the appearance of a plump man who had lost a lot of weight in a short time. His pale skin gave him a sickly appearance and his watery eyes were darting around between all of them. He took quick shallow breaths that occasionally whistled enough to sound like the squeaking he'd been emitting moments ago.
"Well, Weasley, how does it feel to be outsmarted by a cat?" asked Kaelix. "I also think you owe Hermione more than a few apologies."
He couldn't even recover from his shock enough to glare at her this time.
"Hellow, Peter," said Remus pleasantly, as though rats frequently erupted into old school friends around him. "Long time, no see."
S-Sirius… R-Remus…" Even Pettigrew's voice was squeaky. His eyes darted toward the door, already trying to find an escape. "My friends… my dear old friends…"
Black's wand arm rose, but Lupin seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, then turned again to Pettigrew, his voice light and casual.
"We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died. You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there on the bed-"
"Remus," gasped Pettigrew, beads of sweat breaking out over his pasty face, "you don't believe him, do you…? He- he tried to kill me, Remus…"
"To be fair, he claims you betrayed everyone first. Care to comment on that?" Kaelix asked.
"No, it- it wasn't me. I-" he was trembling something awful.
"So we've heard," said Remus, more coldly. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'd be so-"
"He's come to try and kill me again!" Pettigrew squeaked suddenly, pointing at Black, and none of them missed that he was using his middle finger, because his index was missing. "He killed Lily and James… and now he's going to kill me too… You've got to help me, Remus, please…"
Black's face looked more skull-like than ever as he stared at Pettigrew with his fathomless eyes. It was remarkable, the difference between the two of them. When Black was arguing for his life moments ago, he'd been steady, angry and desperate, but unwavering. Pettigrew's entire body was shaking, his eyes darting nervously around. He was on edge in a different way than Black was, he was caught and he knew it.
"No one's going to try to kill you until we've sorted a few things out," said Remus.
"But that's not to say we won't once we have everything sorted," Black said.
"Sorted things… out?" Pettigrew squealed, looking wildly about the room again, examining the boarded windows and the only door. "I knew he'd come after me! I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"
"You knew Black was going to break out of Azkaban?" Kaelix asked with no attempt to mask the skepticism in her voice. "Isn't that supposed to be impossible, how could you possibly have known that would happen?"
"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named must have taught him dark magic!" he shouted shrilly. "He traded his loyalty for it, he betrayed us, Remus, you must see that. How else would he have escaped?"
Black started to laugh, a horrible, mirthless laugh that filled the whole room and sent a shiver down Kaelix's spine, the chill lingering. She folded her arms in tight to ward off the cold.
"Voldemort, teach me tricks?" he barked between laughs.
Pettigrew flinched as though Black had brandished a whip at him.
"What, scared to hear your old master's name?" said Black. "I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"
"Don't know what you mean, Sirius-" muttered Pettigrew, his breathing shallow and faster than ever. His entire forehead was shining with sweat now.
"You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years," said Black. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter… They all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them… I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them. Voldemort went to the Potters' hiding place on your information, and that's where he met his downfall. Unfortunately for you, not all of his supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? There are still plenty of them out there, biding their time, pretending they've seen the error of their ways… But if any of them ever got wind that you were still alive, Peter-"
"I don't- don't know.. what you're talking about…" said Pettigrew again, more shrilly, more desperately than ever. He wiped his face with his sleeve and looked up at Remus, pleading. "You don't believe this- this madness, Remus-"
"I must admit, Peter, I have a difficult time understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat," said Remus evenly.
"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Pettigrew. "If You-Know-Who's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban- the spy, Sirius Black!"
Black barked another laugh.
"And you thought you had better chances hiding out as a rat than with the Ministry helping you?" Kaelix asked. "Forget the Ministry, you could have left the country, the continent even, why stay here?"
"I'll tell you why," said Black. "Because Peter's always needed someone to look out for him. When we were in school it was Remus, James, and me. And when he didn't think we were enough anymore he went running to Voldemort. Then when he disappeared, dear Peter holed up with a wizarding family. Pretty cushy life in exchange for being a rat for twelve years."
"Hardly seems worth it," Kaelix said.
"He was always looking for the easy way out. Never did anything for anyone unless he could see what was in it for himself." Black continued. "So he bided his time. They say Voldemort is half dead, and hasn't been seen for twelve years. And while you're too much of a coward to commit murder right under Albus Dumbledore's nose for a wreck of a wizard who's lost all his power, you wouldn't hesitate to strike if you could be sure of allies. That's why you stuck around, why you found a wizarding family to take you in. So you could keep an ear to the ground for news of Voldemort's return."
Pettigrew opened his mouth and closed it several times. He seemed to have lost the ability to speak.
"That still doesn't make sense, why would it be worth living as a rat this whole time? Guilty or not, you got away with it. Why stick around?"
"Because I- Well, you see- No one would believe me-"
"No one would have believed you? They threw Sirius in Azkaban without a trial, you would have been welcomed back with relief, Peter, with accolades for supposedly tracking Sirius down. Is that really the best you could come up with after having twelve years to think about it?" Remus asked.
"This is what I was afraid of," he choked out. "You're taking his side, you're not even listening to me!"
"You've had twelve years to make your case," Kaelix snapped. "The fact that you didn't even try seems mildly suspicious at best, full blown guilty at worst."
His mouth opened and closed several times, words failing.
"Er- Mr. Black- Sirius?' said Hermione.
Black jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her.
"If you don't mind me asking, how- how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?"
"You see!" Pettigrew gasped, nodding frantically at her. "That's exactly what I was-"
Remus silenced him with a look.
"I just slipped through the bars," he said with a frown, but not as though he were annoyed with her.
"Azkaban is supposedly impossible to break out of and you just… slipped… through the bars?" Kaelix asked.
"As a dog," he elaborated. "I transformed in my cell, it helped me keep sane over the years. Dementors can't see you know…" he swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions. When I transformed they could tell that my feelings were less human, less… complex. I assume they thought I was just slowly losing my mind like everyone else in there, so they paid less attention. They moved off to the other prisoners that had more emotion to feed on. I had no intention of using my animagus to escape, there was no point, who would even believe that I was innocent? That thought did help keep me sane, that I was innocent. It wasn't a happy thought, so they couldn't take it away from me… but it kept me sane and knowing who I am enough so that I could transform. Sometimes I wasn't really sure what I was hanging on for…
"But then I saw Peter in that picture. I realized that he was at Hogwarts with Harry. Perfectly positioned to act, if one hint of a rumor ever reached his ears that Voldemort was gathering strength again…"
Pettigrew was shaking his head, mouthing noiselessly, but staring all the while at Black as though hypnotized.
"... ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies… and deliver the last Potter to them. Because if he gave them Harry, who would dare say he'd betrayed Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with open arms. So I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive. It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the dementors couldn't destroy it… again, it wasn't a happy feeling. It was- an obsession. But it gave me something to focus on, it cleared my mind and gave me strength. So one night, when they opened the door to my cell to bring food, I just… slipped past them, as a dog. The animal emotions confused them, distracted them enough for me to get out. Then I swam back to the mainland and journeyed north. I slipped onto the castle grounds as a dog as well, and I've been living in the forest ever since. Trying to get to Peter before it was too late."
In the silence that followed, Peter edged toward Kaelix. His small eyes constantly darting around the room, pausing on the door behind her more than once.
"I have to admit, Pettigrew, I didn't want to believe him when he started talking," Kaelix said. "But he's putting on a much better show than you are."
"A sho- A show? He's lying!" Peter gasped, his breathing uneven.
"Is he?" she asked.
Pettigrew nodded enthusiastically. "He was always the d- dark one, always the cruel one with his jokes and his pranks. But the things he would do for a laugh, you already know about Snape but that's just a piece of it!" Pettigrew's whole body was shaking as he leaned into his words, eyes wide and alert. "He should have been in Slytherin, did he tell you that-"
Black sniggered a half hearted laugh at that.
"He did!" Pettigrew insisted. "He only ended up in Gryffindor so he could spy for the Dark Lord. He was only pretending to be our friend for all those years, Remus, he was biding his time, putting himself in the most valuable position."
"Someone was pretending all that time but it certainly wasn't me, Peter," the way Black bit down on his name made the hair at the back of Kaelix's neck stand up.
Pettigrew was shaking his head in denial. "I wasn't pretending. I wasn't the Secret Keeper, you were. I wasn't the traitor, you wer-"
Black moved toward Pettigrew and Kaelix thought he might actually punch him straight in the jaw if it weren't for Remus' intervening hand at his shoulder.
"After Lily and James, he came for me, you have to believe me. I had no other choice!" he squeaked.
"No other choice than to blow the street apart? Because he would have killed you, right? So you cut off your own finger and disappear, to be presumed dead and live out the rest of your life as a rat?" she asked.
"Yes, yes- see, you understand… you believe me," he breathed.
She could almost hear Black's breathing tighten.
"Kaelix," Remus said slowly.
She couldn't help the small sense of satisfaction she felt. Let them worry, if only for a brief moment. Because the truth was she's already known the truth, she'd known it for longer than even she realized.
"Please," he begged, his huddled form moving closer still.
"You're pathetic," she spat. He was uncomfortably close now and Kaelix took a step back. "Stop."
"You don't understand…" he tried to disguise his next step.
"Turn around, Peter," Remus ordered, his wand poised and ready.
Pettigrew lifted his hands in surrender. "Of course, of course."
Kaelix barely had time to realize that he'd somehow managed to step closer to her as he turned to face Remus, when he lunged. Her reflexes fired faster than she could get her limbs to react and she watched Pettigrew's dirty fingers clamp around the front of her sweater. But not quickly enough.
Her ears didn't register the spell that Remus shouted but whichever spell it was jerked Pettigrew back so fast that Kaelix stumbled forward with the force of it before he lost grip on her robes. The momentum carried Pettigrew clear across the room and slammed him against the opposite wall. Remus had murder in his eyes.
"No!" He howled, scrambling to right himself against the wall. You can't- Remus-" he gasped between labored breaths, "we were friends, Remus!"
"That's enough, Peter," said Remus.
"Sirius, Padfoot, please… my old friend- it's me… it's Peter, it's Wormtail… your friend… you wouldn't…"
"You gave up the right to call us friends the day you sold yourself to Voldemort," snarled Black.
Kaelix adjusted and smoothed out her sweater, feeling the overwhelming urge to pull it off and burn it.
"Please, James wouldn't have wanted this- Prongs- he would have understood… he would have spared me-" Pettigrew pleaded.
"You have no right to talk about what James would or wouldn't have wanted, Peter," said Remus deathly quiet.
"But- I- Please, you have to-"
"Wait a minute," Kaelix interrupted as the realization hit her like a freight train. All eyes in the room turned to her as she stumbled through the thought, "If he's Wormtail, he's Padfoot, and his dad is Prongs," she said, gesturing to Pettigrew, Black, and Potter in turn.
Remus' expression tightened as she worked her way through the nicknames. Piecing together the last and biggest lie he'd told her.
She took a steadying breath. "Then you- the letter… it was addressed to you."
He dropped his gaze when he nodded in confirmation.
Her heart dropped. "You knew, the whole time."
It wasn't a question but Remus answered her anyway. "Not the whole time, but I have known-" His voice was hollow, echoing defeat in a way she'd only heard from him once before. "I'm sor-"
"No," she snapped. "I don't want to hear another apology. How could you-" she bit down on the tears that threatened to form a tremor in her voice. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
"It's not that simple, Kaelix," he tried.
"It is, it really is," she said, her hands shaking. "You either- you either wanted me to know or you didn't. Which is it?"
"Of course I didn't want you to know," his admission sliced through her and she wavered as he continued. "I didn't want you to have to live with that."
She bit the inside of her lip to still her chattering teeth and trembling lip. "I guess none of it matters then, does it? You've known the whole time, from the moment you first saw me."
"I didn't," he croaked. "I never saw that letter until you showed it to me, I swear. And when I saw it…" he took a deep breath, "it was like I couldn't breathe, I was paralyzed. Even if I'd been able to speak, I couldn't think of what to say. After the shock wore off I made a choice that, at the time, I thought was for the best. I thought that if I didn't tell you then you'd never find out because no one else knew. And if you never found out then it couldn't hurt you, if I didn't tell you then I wouldn't hurt you."
"Look where we ended up anyway."
"Would you mind letting the rest of us in on whatever it is he didn't tell you?" Black asked.
"It's not really any of your business," she snapped.
"If he's lied about something, we need to know-" Potter started.
"Should have known you'd start participating again when it came time to pry into my business."
"That's not what I meant," his words came softer than she expected, but his eyes glared daggers at Remus' back. "But we need to know if we can trust him, believe what he's saying."
Kaelix let out a bitter laugh and Pettigrew tried to scramble back around toward Potter.
"It's what I've been saying," he squeaked.
"Oh, shut it," Weasley snapped in disgust, finally snapping out of his shock. "No one's taking your side."
"Kaelix," Remus said, drawing her shattered attention back to her very raw wound.
"You weren't going to tell me. What else is there to say?"
"I was afraid of the questions you would ask if I told you and I wasn't ready to face the answers myself. You have to understand, before tonight-" he paused. "It was a bad decision, made with poor judgement; desperate, pathetic justifications; and fear. Please understand that I- I just didn't want to hurt you."
"I asked you if you knew and you said no. You looked me in the eye and you lied to me," her tone was surprisingly even. And then you lied to me again. And then you lied to me about lying to me."
He nodded and admitted solemnly, "I did."
"And now you want me to understand why you did it?"
"You already do, I know you do."
"I don't- I can't," she bit her lip again, trying to steady her breaths, "I can't understand why you wouldn't want me to know. Why you wouldn't want me-" her breath caught. She wanted the ground to open up beneath her feet and swallow her whole. A few measured breaths had her voice even enough to continue. "They're all yours, Potter. Believe them, don't believe them. Hell, wake up Snape and let him have all three of them. I don't care."
She turned to leave but didn't even make it to the doorway before his plea reached her ears, "Kaelix, please, I know you're hurt, but this was my failure, not yours."
It gutted her and the world tilted. She willed her shaking legs to hold her up as she turned to lash back at him. "What do you expect me to say, that I forgive you?"
One of the window panes shattered and everyone in the room collectively flinched. A sharp wave of pain rippled through Kaelix's head and the chill threatened to seep into her bones.
"I just need you to wait. Please." His tone seemed genuine, but it had always seemed genuine. "I promise we can talk this through as soon as we're done with Peter."
She couldn't meet his gaze any longer, she didn't want to listen to anything else he had to say. After tonight, she didn't want to see him ever again.
"D-Done with me?" Pettigrew stuttered through a sob. "What do you m-mean… d-done with me?"
"You know exactly what he means, Peter," Black said with glint in his eyes, the hungry triumph of catching his prey.
"No!" Pettigrew cried, falling to his knees. "Sirius, please- It's Peter, I'm your friend… you wouldn't… please, Sirius-"
Black kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled like a wounded animal.
"There's quite enough filth on my robes without you touching them," said Black.
"Remus!" Pettigrew squeaked, turning to him instead, writhing imploringly in front of him. "You can't really believe this… wouldn't Sirius have told you if they'd changed the plan?"
Remus sighed and turned to Pettigrew, his patience had waned. "Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter, I assume you didn't do anything to contradict that in an effort to cover for yourself."
"I would never-" he whimpered.
"Forgive me, Remus," said Black. "I should have known better."
"Not at all, old friend," he dismissed Black's guilt. "I believed you were the spy for much longer."
"Of course," said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. "Shall we do it together?"
"Yes, I think so," said Remus grimly.
"You wouldn't… you won't…," gasped Pettigrew. And he scrambled around to Weasley. "Ron… haven't I been a good friend… a good pet? You won't let them kill me, will you, Ron… you're on my side, aren't you?"
Weasley was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion. "I let you sleep in my bed."
"Yes, kind boy… kind master…" Pettigrew continued crawling toward him, "you won't let them do it… I was your rat… I was a good pet… you won't let them, will you…"
"I should've let the cat have you the first time he tried it," he said.
"If you made a better rat than a human, it's not much to boast about, Peter," said Black harshly.
Weasley, going still paler with pain, wrenched his broken leg out of Pettigrew's reach. Pettigrew turned on his knees, staggered forward, and seized the hem of Hermione's robes.
"Sweet girl… clever girl… you-you won't let them… please… help me…"
Hermione was nearly as pale as Weasley as she pulled her robes out of Pettigrew's clutching hands and back away against the wall, looking horrified.
One by one, he was begging each of them for his life and one by one they were rejecting him. They all believed Black. Pettigrew knelt, trembling uncontrollably, and turned his head slowly toward Potter. His only remaining chance, no matter how slim it was.
"Harry… Harry… you look just like your father… just like him…"
"How dare you speak to Harry," Black seethed. "How dare you face him! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"
"Harry…" whispered Pettigrew, shuffling toward him, hands outstretched. "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed… James would have understood, Harry… he would have shown me mercy…"
Black strode forward but halted as Potter spoke.
"What, exactly, would my dad have understood?" his voice was sharp. "What would he have shown you mercy for, when all this time you've been claiming you didn't do anything wrong?"
"It was… an accident… I never meant to… I had to escape, I had to survive…"
"You had to survive, when Voldemort came after you?"
Pettigrew flinched but nodded.
"Yeah, I get that," Potter agreed, "I've some experience with that, actually."
"Of course, yes, of course-"
"The only difference, is I managed to do it without betraying my friends and my family and the entire wizarding world."
"You don't understand, he would have-"
"Killed you? Yeah, I wasn't sure the first two times he tried, could have been an accident, but on the third attempt I was pretty sure he meant to kill me too, but I still never offered up any of my friend's lives in exchange for my own."
Kaelix almost laughed at the dryness in Potter's voice. It was probably the most she'd ever liked him.
Black seized Pettigrew's shoulder and threw him backward onto the floor. He sat there, twitching with terror, staring up at him for a moment. Then his gaze shifted around the room and settled once more on Kaelix. His mouth gaped without sound momentarily.
"If you so much as speak in her direction again, Peter, I'll cut off what's left of your hand," Remus' voice was barely above a whisper but it held more vehment than she would have thought possible.
Another shiver went down Kaelix's spine and the chill in his voice.
His mouth continued to gape as he reconsidered. "P-please… Remus, my friend…" he was twitching with terror, staring up at Black and Remus.
"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," said Black, who was shaking now too. "Do you deny it?"
Pettigrew burst into tears. It was horribly uncomfortable to witness, a grown man bawling like a toddler, rocking back and forth on the floor.
"S-Sirius, Sirius," he wailed. "What could I have done? The Dark Lord… you have no idea… he has weapons you can't imagine… I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant for it to happen… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me-"
"DON'T LIE!" bellowed Black. "YOU'D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!"
"He-he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Pettigrew. "Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?"
"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" asked Remus with that terrible sort of calm fury still in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter."
"You don't understand!" whined Pettigrew. "He would have killed me!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you."
"He would have killed anyone, Peter. The difference is that you're enough of a coward to trade other lives for your own," said Remus quietly. "You should have realized, if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would."
Black and Remus were standing shoulder to shoulder, their wands half raised. Pettigrew was wracked with sobs, unable to articulate further defense. Hermione covered her face with her hands and turned to the wall. Something in the pit of Kaelix's stomach twisted with realization.
"Wait!" she shouted, taking half a step forward.
"NO!" Potter yelled, simultaneously realizing the same thing she had. He leapt forward, placing himself between Pettigrew and the two of their wands. "You can't kill him," he said breathlessly. "You can't."
Black and Remus both looked staggered.
"Harry, this piece of vermin is the reason you have no parents. This cringing bit of filth would have seen you die too, without turning a hair. You heard him, his own stinking skin meant more to him than your whole family, than the whole of the wizarding world," said Black.
"He's right, Harry, Peter betrayed more than just us when turned into a spy," Remus added.
Neither of them seemed to have heard Kaelix's protest, which came as a relief since she was still contemplating sneaking out the door and back up the tunnel to the castle to be rid of all of them.
"I know," Potter conceded. "We'll take him up to the castle. We'll hand him over to the dementors… He can go to Azkaban… but you can't kill him."
"Harry!" gasped Pettigrew, and he flung his arms around Potter's knees. "You-thank you-it's more than I deserve-thank you-"
"Get off me," Potter spat, throwing Pettigrew's hands off him in disgust. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it because I don't reckon my dad would've wanted them to become killers just for you."
Pettigrew's chest was still heaving, his labored whimpers echoing throughout the room. Black and Remus exchanged a look and lowered their wands.
"You're sure about this, Harry?" Black asked. "Knowing what he's done…"
"He can go to Azkaban," Potter repeated. "If anyone deserves that place, he does…"
Remus stiffened as he pointed his next question over his shoulder to Kaelix. "You have some say in this as well, what do you think?"
"I told you, I don't care," she said before her voice could betray her.
"That's a vastly different tune than earlier this evening," Black remarked, earning a glare from Remus.
She scowled at him. "For someone claiming not to be the murderer everyone thinks he is, you're sure insistent on proving them all right."
"I have nothing left to lose," he said.
"You're an idiot," she said flatly.
He scoffed, "I'm sure you'll tell me why that is?"
"You take that cringing bit of filth up to the castle and you have proof that you didn't murder anyone. You take him up to the castle, alive, and you're free."
Black blinked. An expression of confusion and shock crossed his features as he processed her words.
"But by all means, murder the only proof you have that you're not a murderer. That'll also probably convince them you're innocent."
It was a testament to how shocked he was by the idea of being free that he didn't counter her sarcasm. The thought of freedom had been so foreign to him, so far beyond unattainable. He'd never even considered it, not even the idea of what might be waiting for him. His sole focus had been protecting Potter and avenging his parents. A stark contrast to Pettigrew's motivations.
"I think that sounds like an excellent plan, don't you agree, Sirius?" said Remus.
Black nodded, giving Kaelix a curious glance.
"Very well," said Remus. "Stand aside, Harry."
Potter hesitated.
"I'm going to tie him up," said Remus. "That's all, I swear."
Potter stepped out of the way. Thin cords shot from Remus' wand this time, and the next moment, Pettigrew was wriggling on the floor, bound and gagged.
"But if you transform, Peter," growled Black, his own wand pointing at Pettigrew too, "we won't hesitate to kill you. You agree, Harry?"
Potter looked down at the pitiful figure on the floor and nodded so that Pettigrew could see him.
"Right," said Remus, suddenly back to businesslike. "Ron, I can't mend bones nearly as well as Madame Pomfrey, so I think it's best if we just strap your leg up until we can get you to the hospital wing."
He hurried over to Weasley, bent down, tapped Weasley's leg with his wand, and muttered, "Ferula." Bandages spun up Weasley's leg, strapping it tightly to a splint. Remus helped him to his feet; Weasley put his weight gingerly on the leg and didn't wince.
"That's better," he said. "Thanks. Sorry about earlier…"
Remus shook his head, "Understandable, given the circumstances."
"What about Professor Snape?" said Hermione, her voice very small.
They all looked toward Snape's prone figure.
"There's nothing seriously wrong with him," said Remus, bending over Snape and checking his pulse once more. "You were just a little overenthusiastic. Still out cold. Er-perhaps it will be best if we don't revive him until we're safely back in the castle. We can take him like this…"
He muttered, "Mobilicorpus." As though invisible strings were tied to Snape's wrists, neck, and knees, he was pulled into a standing position, head still lolling unpleasantly, like a grotesque puppet. He hung a few inches above the ground, his limp feet dangling. Remus picked up the Invisibility Cloak and tucked it safely into his pocket.
"And two of us should be chained to this," said Black, nudging Pettigrew with his toe. "Just to make sure. I'll take one side."
"I'll take the other," said Weasley savagely, limping forward.
Black conjured heavy manacles from thin air; soon Pettigrew was upright again, left arm chained to Weasley's right, right arm to Black's left. Weasley's face was set. He seemed to have taken Scabbers' true identity as a personal insult. Crookshanks leapt lightly off the bed and led the way out of the room, his bottlebrush tail held jauntily high.
Kaelix ducked out straight after the cat, desperately wishing for the calm comfort of some long overdue solitude.
AN: Wow, what a year, huh? Feels like it's been a lifetime since my last update due to things that are currently happening in the world. I hope you all are staying safe and healthy and sane among all of this madness, I hope this chapter finds you well. Thank you for your continued patience with me as we wrap up these last few chapters of the first installment of Kaelix's story. As always, I'd love to hear how you felt about the chapter in a review/comment. Love you all forever and a day for reading my ramblings. Stay safe *hearts*
