Chapter 24

The force of the blast knocked the wind out of Rey. She was pushed onto her back, her head slamming against the hard, unforgiving floor of the throne room. She was slightly dizzy, but her instincts screamed at her; Get up.

Trembling, Rey got to her feet, but there was a faint ringing in her ears and everything around her was blurred. Gradually, the room came back into the focus; along with the smell of smoke and fire. She stared at the remnants of the lightsaber on the floor, the hope draining out of her.

She'd destroyed a piece of Luke's legacy. How was she supposed to fight now?

Then she saw Kylo. At first, she stiffened, fearfully staring at him. She couldn't protect herself now, if he chose to apprehend her. He'd made it clear he wasn't willing to let her go. If there really was no hope for him…was it really better to kill him? End the war, once and for all?

The fear in her heart mounted when she realized he wasn't moving.

Panicked, she immediately rushed over to him, kneeling at his side. She pressed her head to his chest, listening for a heartbeat. To her relief, Kylo's heart was thumping like normal. He was just out cold.

Rey ran a hand through his hair, tears pooling in her eyes. Her dear Ben. The man who loved her, held her in his arms to many times to count…the boy who'd saved her life, again and again…she couldn't accept that he hadn't turned, that he was lost to her forever. What happened? "How did this go so wrong?" she whispered under her breath, her chin quivering with emotion.

Her eyes darted to the lightsaber at his side. She contemplated taking it…

But if he was going to abandon the Darkside, it needed to be his decision.

Rey brushed back his hair, and softly planted a kiss on his forehead. She didn't have a choice. She didn't want to leave him here, all alone and defenseless. There was still a war to fight. But she couldn't take his life. She still had hope for him.

The Jedi stood up and slowly walked backward, away from him, and ran for her life, for the hanger, for her escape pod.

~.~

Hux entered the throne room, ready to ask instructions of Supreme Leader Snoke. But when he entered, his heart fell into his stomach, and all color drained from his face.

Snoke was in pieces on the floor, clearly the work of a lightsaber.

But Hux's eyes didn't linger for long. For there before him, completely helpless, was Kylo Ren.

A nameless feeling welled up in his chest. He swallowed it down but found it flowed down his chest and limbs, tingling his toes.

Kylo Ren. At his mercy. What a delicious thought. The one he forced himself to repress while on the job. And even better, without his mask. No place for him to hide. Hux loved when Kylo was vulnerable, out of control. Even when he had a tantrum and allowed a fraction of composure to slip and fall away, it excited him beyond words. It meant that Kylo was not unattainable. He was human, just like him, despite his powers with the force. This was what he'd been promised.

But his desire did not outweigh his reason. It's not as if the First Order would allow him to keep Kylo chained up in a room, at his beck and call, to use him as he pleased, even if the notion of such made him sway on his feet with ecstasy. Not to mention it would defeat the point. He wanted Kylo's compliance and submission, willingly handed over, a loyal servant. Just as he'd been to Snoke.

But what he could do...was end it all. The rivalry, the struggle for dominance, right here, right now. With one blast of a laser. And it would be merciful. Peaceful, even. Soldiers dreamed of an easy death that took them away gently, like dying in your sleep. Killing him like this, in this way would be immeasurably kind of Hux.

He moved aside his cloak, ready to withdraw his weapon.

Until Kylo Ren jolted awake, struggling to his feet.

All thoughts instantly died away, and Hux dropped his arm, suddenly feeling unsure of himself. He moved his cloak back over his weapon.

If Kylo really had the ability to read his thoughts, he was as good as dead.

~.~

He felt it even before he opened his eyes.

Rey was gone. She'd left him. She'd said no to him.

Kylo had laid out his heart, open and unwavering to her. His desires, how badly he needed her, how badly he needed them together. He thought she was going to do it. Take his hand, end both of their sufferings. The world would've dissolved into soft, glowing light, and all she would've known was his gentle touch and his arms around her waist. He'd been ready. To give her everything. Every part of him, even the boy he thought he'd killed.

I would've given you my soul, he thought, in a way he'd never done for anyone. Not even with Snoke.

But now there was nothing inside him that remotely resembled the man she'd seen. He was emptiness. Rage. Determination. Pain. A true Knight of Darkness.

He shouldn't have even tried. He should've known her love didn't equal his. She didn't want him. She'd only wanted him to join her so he could be another one of her weapons for the Resistance.

"What happened?" Hux's voice suddenly said.

It felt distant. Kylo's emotions were churning under the surface like magma, but his voice betrayed nothing.

"The girl murdered Snoke," he said, without even thinking. He had to pin this on her, or the First Order would execute him for treason. Assassinating the Supreme Leader was not something they'd forgive. "She took his escape pod," he said absently, not even looking at Hux.

In the back of Kylo's mind, he felt the emotions swirling off of Hux like clouds. Confusion, fear, panic, distress. But they brushed against his heart like rain on an inferno. They did nothing. They meant nothing. Nothing did anymore. Except for the one thing he had left.

He stood up and began leaving the throne room. "We know where she's going. Let's finish this."

If he couldn't have her, then he'd run the First Order on his own.

"Finish this?" Hux asked, unbelieving. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

Kylo clenched his jaw, his pain bubbling up from his chest.

His heart had been torn in two. He was a wounded animal. And he didn't do well when challenged or cornered. Every edge of every emotion he had left was rubbed raw and left sensitive, tender to the touch, like a sunburn on his skin. The smallest challenge, or the slightest question of his authority would not be tolerated for a second.

Especially since Snoke wasn't here to hold him back anymore from his impulses.

Hux foolishly kept going. "You presume to command my army?! Our Supreme Leader is dead! We have no ruler!"

Kylo whipped around and without even thinking about it, started to strangle Hux with the force. If Hux had to be beaten into submission, so be it. But the General did not own an inch of him. Snoke had no hold on him anymore, and now no one ever would again. Not even her, let alone this weak, conniving, manipulative and toxic individual who'd been trying to possess him from the very beginning.

He forced Hux to his knees, and didn't even get enjoyment out of strangling him. "The Supreme Leader is dead?!" He exclaimed through his teeth, his eyes almost black with fury.

Hux finally submitted, and through a suffocating windpipe managed to choke out, "Long live the Supreme Leader."

When Kylo finally had his compliance, he let him go, and turned away from him.

~.~

Hux gasped for air, getting back onto his feet. His gaze fell on Kylo, nervous about what he was going to do next.

What happened soon after stunned him into silence.

Kylo fell to his knees, his head bowed low in defeat, his hands balled into fists which he'd slammed into the ground. He let out a primal cry of pain.

Hux didn't understand it. The First Order was at his fingertips now. He was the Supreme Leader. Why did he look as though he'd lost the war before it even started?

But that's when Hux realized; the girl killed Snoke. And when Hux found him, he was passed out on the ground. The girl had defeated him, and left him alone to die.

The girl he'd been obsessed with ever since they'd had word that she was with the droid back on Jakku.

Hux didn't dare speak.

After a moment, Kylo stood back up, and made a step forward to leave the room, but then paused.

"Sir?" Hux asked before he could stop himself. He could see Kylo's shoulders move up and down as he took a deep inhale and breathed out.

Then he turned around and marched over to Hux, whipping out his saber and turning it on, pointing it directly at Hux's face.

All the more unsettling; there were unshed tears in Kylo's eyes as he stared the General down.

"I know what Snoke promised you," Kylo growled gutturally, but Hux could see it wasn't rage, it was fear masked as anger. "I do not belong to you. Do you understand me?"

Hux nodded slowly, his hands up in surrender.

"You will never touch me. No one will. I'll strike down anyone who tries."

The buzz of the saber was ever-present, but it didn't distract Hux from Kylo's trembling hand. He had all the power in the world; the strength to strike Hux down right here and now, but he was still so unsure of himself, so afraid.

Hux couldn't help but gape in awe, He was beautiful. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said calmly.

Kylo bared his teeth, his whole body tight and poised to spring. "My body and soul are mine, and mine alone. I was never Snoke's possession to give."

Hux understood it now. Snoke wasn't here anymore to stop Hux from taking advantage of him, and Kylo was unwilling to admit that now it was just the two of them, he was terrified. He realized Kylo wasn't an idea or a fantasy, he was a person, and this person craved freedom and independence like a drowning man desired air. He was a young, fearful, frightfully ambitious man, just like himself. And he'd just been irrevocably wounded. Without the girl, or a master, he was tetherless. Completely alone.

"I'm not her," he said softly, but firmly.

Kylo's eyes widened in shock, the lightsaber flickering in his hand for a moment.

Hux continued on. "I'm here to serve you with unrelenting allegiance. I won't leave your side for a moment."

This seemed to quell some of Kylo's uncertainty. He nodded, withdrawing his saber.

Together they both walked out of the throne room and headed for the bridge, or what might be left of it.

Hux gathered the courage to say a few words. "Supreme Leader?" he asked hesitantly.

Kylo looked at him and asked, "What?" in a biting tone, like the last thing he needed was another source of annoyance. But the hostility had dissipated in his manner. Hux saw that there was less tension in Kylo's shoulders.

The General cleared his throat as they descended in the elevator. "For the record…I wanted it to be your choice," he said without looking at his new boss, just staring ahead. "I thought, maybe…when this war was over – "

"– I'm not capable of such things, General," Kylo said. And it was true Hux noticed the absence of a humanity that used to be in Kylo's voice.

Hux swallowed nervously. "You mean…intimacy with a man, or…intimacy with a fellow officer?"

Kylo didn't betray any sense of awkwardness or discomfort. "Every connection I've ever had has only resulted in pain. It was wrong of Snoke to feed you false promises."

It was probably the closest Hux was going to get to an apology. He would take it. "Don't pay it a second thought. It's like I said; I'm here to serve."

Kylo nodded, his face blank. The door opened, and they both briskly walked out. "Good," he said. "Because we have a war to win."

~.~

Once Chewy allowed the escape pod to dock back onto the Falcon, Rey jumped out of it and quickly hugged him. "Set a course for Crait. The Resistance is heading there for one last stand against the First Order, and we need to help them."

Rey settled herself into the Falcon's cockpit, strapping in and getting used to the chair and the old weapons system tech. Despite herself, her thoughts still wandered to Ben.

The fragments of Luke's lightsaber was still in her satchel. A reminder of the bond they'd shared, and how destructive it could be.

But it also had the potential for so much life. She knew deep down she still hadn't given up hope on him. She'd let him live, and given him a soft, goodbye kiss. A part of her heart would always belong to him; the man who'd carried her in the rain and fought side by side with her, heart and soul.

As they went into lightspeed, she called to the force for strength, and hoped Ben Solo could still come back to her. Please come back to me, she thought. My dearest Ben.