Harry couldn't do it. He'd realized last night, while taking whatever comfort he could in his father's embrace, he couldn't abandon his family, that was the coward's way out. While he'd been locked in the fear of what had happened to his past, his present had tried to remind him of everything he'd already lost. Where were Ron and Hermione? What if someone did come for him
here and he'd already made a run for it. His family was safe here, so long as this unexplained magic kept them all pinned in, of this he'd been sure of from the moment he'd opened his eyes.
Safe from him? He didn't yet have a real answer for that, but while looking into his father's eyes he'd found the one thing that could make him stay. Trust, James trusted him, and Harry couldn't bring himself to break that in his desire to save them. So faith then, he'd just have to trust in his parents and all of them that they'd find a way to get through this, like he somehow knew had been a solution more times than simply him on his own.
A lot of that had to do with the fact that he'd awoken the next morning to see his dad still at the end of his bed, holding his infant.
"You stayed in here all night?" He half demanded around a yawn, feeling just as embarrassed as he was touched.
James shrugged, the mostly sleepless not night affecting his grin one bit. "Little guy woke up about the time you nodded back off. Figured I should get used to it anyways, if I'm going to convince Lily any time soon about having more."
Harry had to clear his throat for another reason other than sleep before responding, "thanks." Then, clearly looking for a change of subject, asked, "anyone else up yet?"
"Lily's downstairs already making breakfast, I'm sure that's roused Sirius by now. We may have to set the couch on fire to get Moony up, but that's nothing new."
He said it so casually, but Harry still listened avidly to every detail of their day to day life. Not for the first time, he wished he could be doing something normal with them, just a chance to come home one day and share what he'd done at work. Yet he'd never gotten much by wishing.
The baby began fussing in agitation in James' arms, and so it didn't take much persistence for Harry to finally kick his dad out of the room so he could get himself ready for the day. Eerily he fit almost perfectly into his dad's clothes.
Even while watching them all interact over breakfast cemented in him he couldn't leave them. No matter how much he tried to justify it would do them more good without him around, he wasn't
fifteen anymore, no matter how much he may feel like it at times. He truly felt while watching Sirius fling a sausage at Remus who caught it in his mouth that he'd be better off with their help in
whatever would come when his life caught up to him.
The others didn't fail to notice Harry hadn't spoken a word all morning, but when Sirius made to say something and James kicked him under the table, they left it be for now, Lily less happily than the rest. She hated where they'd left off last night, but she was also well aware James had been with him all night. She found it clear something had happened between them and wasn't going to get in the way of that, yet, so she wasn't going to push him for now. When Remus settled into his seat from yesterday with the book, Lily made to put her infant back upstairs real quick, but was stopped by Harry.
"Let him stay," he offered quietly, but he was watching her with a smile again, the first sign of his interacting all morning. "I should still be on break for a while, so no Umbridge, nothing's going to happen to Arthur. He should be able to stay for at least a bit."
Lily only hesitated for a moment before sitting next to James without argument, her grin only increasing when Hickory came creeping in and curling up on her shoulder purring loudly as well.
Remus fidgeted for several more moments than was necessary before starting, but he wasn't exactly keen to go back to this either. It was hard to forget that the Order now currently thought
Voldemort was possessing Harry, but the worst part was they hadn't convinced Harry last night that just couldn't be true. He still wanted to try talking to him about it, but he had no words. He'd never believe it, but he couldn't just make Harry do the same, so he was forced to turn to this book for an answer just as he'd always done in the past, but now he was looking for something infinitely more important to him than just filler for an essay.
He chanced one more glance at Harry, who still looked drawn and too pale. For once he was the one glancing at the door every few moments, it wasn't hard to read that expression as one fighting
back the urge to bolt considering they'd all felt it a number of times. Yet he was staying put, the one person who could leave and feasibly they couldn't go after him, which meant they must have
done something right in convincing him to keep his seat close to his parents and right next to his godfather, so Remus began.
Harry shifted anxiously, he hadn't expected his resolve to crumple during the first line of the new chapter, but if he felt for one second they weren't safe here with him, that Voldemort powerful now could still cause that to happen to him-
Sirius surprised him by tapping him on the neck. He jerked automatically and balefully glared at Sirius, whose grin only widened at meeting his eyes. "Sorry pup, you've still got your mum's eyes, even if being hazel would have been cooler, than James really could have gotten away with naming you fully after him and we'd never tell the difference."
Lily scoffed slightly. She hadn't even originally had anything against naming their son a Jr. until Sirius had pointed that out, then she'd said no on principle for inflating her husband's ego that much more.
"There's some more nightmare fuel I needed," Remus rolled his eyes while trying to laugh that one off. It didn't work very well, but Harry almost smiled for the effort even as he rubbed at the back of his head in here as well.
Harry couldn't swallow for a moment, panic nearly seizing him whole once more as he couldn't erase the notion that was true on some level, but then all four of them made some noise of
disagreement at how ridiculous they found that, none to quietly. He didn't understand how it was possible to both believe in them so fully, and find it in himself to know that truth as well, but it was all in there.
Sirius shifted closer to Harry at once, anxiously keeping an eye on him even as he prepared a new line to keep him distracted for whatever nonsense his mind came up next. Couldn't they just go
back to a Quidditch game?
"Talk about your self importance," Sirius scoffed at once. "You're just the brat that got away, even I'm more likely to be important to him."
Harry's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull in alarm, and Sirius just sighed without satisfaction he clearly hadn't done much good in distracting Harry the right way.
"Oh Harry, now you're being ridiculous," James tried to scoff at. "You were being watched because they were worried about your safety. No one, not even Dumbledore, could have predicted this...thing you have with Voldemort would progress this far."
Harry felt that living ball of tension inside his gut somehow tighten at his father's words though, a pestering part of his mind telling him the exact opposite was true. Yet to go one second further into the thought would be another level of pain he wasn't prepared to deal with on top of his worst fears of turning into Voldemort any second, so he forced a painful smile into place and was relieved James didn't linger for a better response.
Harry had been have minor shivers since his dream last night, and they somehow managed to increase more every second as all of this came back. How sure he was of the truth of this, that the
connection between him and Voldemort would continue to grow until-
"Harry?"
His name echoed oddly in his head as if from a long ways off, but the maternal tone caught him by surprise until he looked around and met his mothers eyes, looked at all of them and realized no
matter what happened to him they were still going to continue to watch him with that same worry.
Lily wanted to suggest the same thing, but she worried he'd only use it as another excuse to avoid them, and he couldn't just do that for the remainder of his time here. Of all the horrible things she'd seen happen to her son, she could only understand why he would treat this as the worst yet, but she had nothing to compare the feeling to, and it pained her he was clearly feeling so alone with this.
"Clearly alone was the last thing you needed to be right now," Remus sighed, glancing worriedly at Sirius, expecting him to come pounding in the room any second and demand to know what was
wrong with Harry, just as he always did in situations where he knew someone he cared about was upset.
"Let me finish," Remus said before he could let anyone he could feel fixing to interrupt him.
"Harry, now you're just panicking," Lily strained to keep her voice light as she tried to catch his eye. "There is no way to get in and out of Hogwarts without Dumbledore allowing so, certainly not apparition which is the only way he could have done that to you."
"Even then," Remus eagerly jumped in when he saw Harry finally starting to regain just one shade of color in the face of this logic. "Why would he? There's not a reason I can think of he'd
take you on some attack spree, he'd rather have you killed on the spot, and then why put you back?"
Harry opened his mouth, the panic clearly still bubbling just under the surface of his glasses, but with each blink they watched it dim just one small bit. When finally it was clear he either couldn't, or wouldn't answer, Remus kept going, but now that they were finally starting to counter his desperate ramblings he felt just his own twinge of hope they could get through to Harry and he could stop looking an inch away from snapping.
"Definitely not," Sirius scoffed. "There's no way he know's any such thing without having done something long before now, you squash resistance as soon as you know about it rather than letting it fester and grow."
"Even if he's just waiting for an ambush?" Harry demanded, a hint of hope finally in his voice.
"Voldemort rarely does ambushes," James assured. "He likes to pick off one by one, and he clearly hasn't done that yet."
Harry shifted restlessly, but didn't hold back the idea of, "Podmore?"
"While something clearly did happen there," James agreed, his brow ruffling again in frustration for lack of that news, "it's certainly not Voldemort's style to try getting people sent to Azkaban. If the goal was to be rid of him, he'd be gone."
Harry nodded slowly, unable to entirely erase the sensation that Podmore had been some failed plan of Voldemort's, but his dad was right as well at the same time, so this must mean something.
"As you said yourself, wasn't anything anyone couldn't have figured out on their own. We already know Voldemort is at least aware of some of the things Dumbledore's got cooking," Lily
reminded, even just scratching off these little things seemed to be helping Harry realize the idea with his overall fear. Discrediting them one by one would help him to pull back and realize none of this was possible.
"Harry!" All four of them said in exasperation, and concern as they realized why he was so constantly glancing anxiously at the door. His thoughts usually seemed to parallel in here what they had at that age, and if he'd really gone through with that-
"I didn't do it, did I?" he sighed, forcing himself to stop looking there now. While he'd talked himself out of it, it had yet made him feel any safer about being around them, his only consolation being his scar hadn't hurt once while he was here. Oh he remembered the pain more vividly than practically anything, but it had not yet in fact stung him once. If that wasn't even happening, then surely these other things wouldn't begin yet either.
"Congratulations on not being a hypocrite," Sirius said sourly, looking to James who looked just as aghast at the idea. So whatever he and Harry had talked about last night wasn't that, but Sirius was still sure something had happened. He'd heard Harry call out for him, but he'd also heard James talking to him, and he'd never felt like that was an invitation to come in no matter how much he'd wanted to. James needed that time with Harry, and if it was one of the factors that had kept Harry here, then all the better.
Somewhere deep in the normal part of his mind Remus would have laughed at that, realizing Harry clearly didn't care if this mysterious snake attack power didn't activate around the Dursley's, but he was far more concerned glowering at Harry along with everyone else until he mumbled an apology again and swore that thought wasn't on his mind now. They didn't one hundred percent believe him, but maybe they should invest in getting that door permanently sealed for the time being.
Lily began leaning anxiously into James, keeping a tight hold on her infant as she kept watching Harry's blank face. No form of him seemed to regret this, and that scared her worst of all. If this wasn't real, if this really all should have been put down to another vision as it only should have been, then Harry should be relaxing by now in the face of moving away from the subject, be far more exasperated at his past self for making the wrong decision. He wasn't showing any of those signs. But none of this could be true! It just wouldn't be, what had happened to her baby?
Sirius began a low thundered growl in agitation. The last thing Harry needed was to be taunted by that pompous git, who may possibly somehow taunt Harry into doing something worse. He
couldn't imagine a scenario like that at the moment, but any relative of his would do just that.
Harry finally almost snapped at that line. As if he needed a further reminder of how much he was like Voldemort right then! That painting was lucky it wasn't blasted off the wall for that! Yet it wasn't Remus' fault he'd said that, the crinkle to his nose showing his distaste clearly said he didn't agree, so Harry restrained himself from doing anything drastic with very heavy regret, as a spell dummy would have done him some good right now.
Lily couldn't help her face darkening in disgust for that reminder, she was well aware of that trait from one individual, though clearly it still wasn't a Slytherin only thing as now a Gryffindor would do the same on an even worse level.
"A trait I'm usually quite proud of, when you're not being an idiot about it," James pleasantly informed him.
Harry actually grinned for a moment, thinking back on all the times he'd been 'noble,' and their absolute praise of him. Voldemort couldn't do the same if his life depended on it, they must not be the same, right?
"Any particular reason he couldn't have delivered this in person?" Lily failed miserably at keeping the venom out of her voice for their old headmaster.
"Beats me," Harry was the only one who dared answer in the face of her wrath.
"That's it!" Lily thundered. "After all you've been through, Merlin he's even bothered to inform the Order of what you've been through, but he couldn't be bothered to see you in person just to
pass along the stupidest thing! He needs to get his saggy arse in gear and tell you what is going on already, or so help me I'll Charm his knickers into a twist! Stay where you are, he better bloody stay where he is when I come for him, or so help me I'll remove his legs before having it out with him!"
The boys watched her with honest fear even while they would have happily guarded the door so Dumbledore heard every single word. Her own frustration with this situation was reaching its
peak, and none of them believed anymore Dumbledore had shared everything he knew about this, especially not after that.
"He finds everyone impertinent, even me if you can believe it," Sirius said in exasperation.
"Not the best symmetry I'd have used at the moment," Remus muttered while glancing at Harry, who once again glanced anxiously at the door for the reminder.
"That's depressing," James sighed for how well Harry had summed up most of these books.
"You wanted to make a run for it then to," Sirius frowned anxiously, still kicking himself he hadn't guessed this was where Harry's thoughts may have gone this time. "You make a terrible
habit of that pup."
Harry just glared at him without response.
With every word of Phineas' speech, Remus felt his anger start to ebb away more and more at Dumbledore. Before this he'd never questioned the order's he'd been given, and even now while
angry beyond belief because of all that was happening to Harry and what would happen to Sirius, he still wanted all of that to be true. For Dumbledore to have a good reason for all this anger they had for him, to just find that one simple trust he used to hold absolutely that Dumbledore knew what he was doing and this would all work out okay because of it.
Sirius recognized something was bothering Remus, his tone began shifting just a bit as he read that part and it wasn't hard to figure out why. Remus admired Dumbledore more than anyone, and the shift he'd had lately in being so angry at him must be hardest of all for Moony. Sirius knew he'd have to talk to Moony about that, though he should probably wait until Harry wasn't in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
"I swear that thing would be more useful as a toilet lid," Sirius scoffed in disgust for actually getting Harry's hopes up for one second that he was going to say anything useful.
Harry slumped back into his seat in utter exhaustion, watching the lot of them expectantly, but to his surprise no mocking tones returned for that. He was as relieved as he was surprised, unsure if he would have welcomed the jabs now or if he even had the energy to laugh at them anymore. Clearly though, the Marauders had all mutually decided on the idea of leaving Harry be with
that...for now.
Harry's throat nearly felt swollen shut at this idea, his hand spasming in place in his urgent need to cling to Sirius. He fought hard though, would not let himself do any such thing because he was just overreacting, nothing was going to happen to him or anyone so long as he did what Dumbledore said...
Harry let out a frustrated noise he hoped muffled a sob. He hated this, hated the constant reminder of that dream, how every time it was mentioned he grew more certain he just wanted to never hear of it again or something unspeakable would happen.
"Or he's giving you your privacy," James said with an eye roll he didn't feel, Harry's tendency to always jump to the worst conclusion meaning they were just going to keep hearing about all of these things no matter how much they convinced Harry in here they weren't needed, if they were even succeeding at that.
Remus made a sound like a buzzer. "Wrong on that one, we already have proof Ron and Hermione will put up with the worst side of you from this year alone."
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" Harry asked blankly as he was reminded of all the yelling he'd done towards them on top of everything.
Remus opened, then closed his mouth, but couldn't come up with a response for that one.
"What exactly was a painting going to do in that instance?" Sirius demanded in a tone that actually managed curiosity and disbelief for this happening all at once.
"I don't know, alert Dumbledore so he could go over there and stop me," Harry offered, but for once not as if he was really arguing the point, now just enjoying once again egging his godfather on.
"Psht," Sirius huffed, "at this point it's more likely he actually wanted your company than that."
"Gee, thanks," Harry muttered, never growing tired of their form of 'helpfulness' to his life.
"You'd be better off on the run," James said tersely, he still hadn't forgotten the most recent summer.
Remus instantly began perking up at the mention of his favorite holiday that he and Sirius always shared, for the first time hopping he got a mention soon just so that the three of them could finally spend a holiday together like some semblance of normal.
Lily sighed quietly to herself, finding that more sad than anything that was the happiest Harry had seen him for such a simple reason.
"Harry, this is a terrible bloody time for you and Sirius to have switched personalities!" James groaned. At least Sirius' he had understood, he'd never judge him for the way he acted in that
place, but now he was getting tense at the idea of Harry becoming the same way.
Sirius wouldn't let his good mood come back to him in this room, he was scowling more heavily every minute that he hadn't come talked to Harry already! The only reason he could imagine being
so happy was having his godson around for the holidays, and he couldn't even be bothered to hunt him down and talk to him, or more preferably demand what was wrong with him and then get
some sense knocked into his pup? He'd been able to do it marginally in here, at least the starts of it as Harry was at least pretending to act normal, what on earth could be more important than that in the future?!
"Oh shit!" Remus yelped in surprise, while Lily doubled up laughing semihystireaclly.
"I hadn't thought about her once during this," James nodded, "now I'm terrified what she's going to do to the lot of you, waking up with no one to tell her what happened overnight."
"Well she's certainly not going to let Harry continue avoiding people for starters, so that's already an improvement," Sirius muttered with a touch of sulk, one last ditch hope that he was right behind Hermione that he couldn't even cling to for one line.
"I'm guessing she has a few bruises that goes against this," Remus managed a real chuckle.
"Oh, so she lied to them?" Lily recovered in time for her brows to shoot up in surprise, and then continue their path as the thought really made her sad, "I do wonder about Hermione's parents. We haven't even gotten their names, and she's so far spent every holiday away from them, even a bit of her summers recently. They must be very sad she's skipping out on them now, it hardly feels she's around them."
"She doesn't talk about them much," Harry couldn't think of anything else to offer, "I think she's always been a bit distant from everyone till she met Ron and I." He shifted a bit as well with sadness, though he'd never thought about it till now his mum was right, and he had a nasty feeling the separation would only grow more extreme over the years.
"What, no twins to ambush you?" Sirius said with honest disappointment.
"For now, I think the smaller the group the better, I'm surprised even Ginny's there," Remus tried to pacify, while James' brow creased for the same thing, though a nasty thought bubble occurred to him of why the youngest Weasley was there. He just hoped he was wrong, and yet it could be the very thing to help Harry in his time.
"Good to know he keeps even Hermione more updated than me," Harry said just a touch bitterly, wondering if somehow rolls had been reversed and he would have been told or if he'd just be sent
some useless letter about it again.
"I'm sure she'll find a way to fix it so you have to pass through her office to even leave the castle next," Remus muttered in disgust.
"You're a terrible liar," Lily told him pleasantly, though she honestly hadn't asked him that herself for she didn't want the same response, it would only hurt worse.
"I do love this one," Lily chuckled, watching Harry curiously and noticing the first real smile playing across his face since Arthur's attack. She noted that he seemed rather happy at her
approval.
"Okay, Hermione wins this round," Sirius sighed with actual disappointment while Harry looked at him oddly, clearly feeling he'd missed a joke he knew by now Sirius wouldn't explain.
"I do give her credit for not putting up with your bullshit," Remus snickered to himself.
"I think we're lucky he hasn't been trying to play that in here," James said in a bit of defense for his son.
"Probably because he's older now than he was then, trying to handle it a tad more maturely," Lily said, still watching him with a critical eye.
"Or it's because every time I try it I get ambushed," Harry said good naturedly, though to be honest he hadn't actually tried that in here yet. He'd spent to many years out of the company of his
parents to long to be away from them for even a second. Even while he'd needed his time to think and be away from them, he hadn't gone through with his plans just for the almost selfish desire of being around them, in hopes they would continue understanding his past and even help him with it when it was all said and done. He didn't have a way to put that into actual words, so he just grinned at their relieved smile to have finally gotten some returning comment back.
"You can't blame them for talking about you when you've been refusing to be around them, maybe then they would have let you in on the conversation," Lily happily scolded.
"Congratulations, you're now a walking contradiction," Sirius happily cheered while Harry rolled
his eyes at him.
They all winced at that reminder, James hardest of all as he'd been right in guessing why Ginny had been allowed into this little intervention. She wasn't even his child, but he couldn't help imagining her as a little miniature Lily, especially recently with all the spunk she'd been showing, and that Chamber still managed to feature in a few of his recent nightmares so he'd hardly forgotten a second of that mess.
"More like being a bit egotistical," Sirius corrected primly, he had some experience with this. "You haven't considered any other options but the ones you made up, I'm sure the moment you would have tried talking about this with anyone, especially Ron as you should have, this would have come up."
Harry was looking more chagrined by the minute, trying to flatten his hair and his face burning far more red than it ever had while Cho had been mentioned. He felt like a fool, how could he ever
forget anything about Ginny?
"I still don't think possessed is even the right classification of this," Remus muttered as he fidgeted with the page in hand, his mind still trying to come up with some explanation for Harry. "Only problem is, I can't think of anything else that even comes close."
Harry just sighed, but he couldn't be angry with him or anyone for not having an answer he didn't have either.
"That seems to work best for you," Lily told him with a grin as Harry finally started working out the kinks in his shoulder, shifting his weight and clearly looking to force himself to relax for the first time all morning. He was beginning to actually smile again, just by the smallest amount. His true fear was by no means gone, the full answer still laid buried in his mind about the true dark horrors of his connection with Voldemort, but of Ginny's logic he was completely in agreement with, and that helped more than anything.
"That is an interesting phenomena compared to the last ones," Remus begrudgingly agreed, afraid it would only upset Harry more now that he spoke this aloud, but though Harry frowned as he
fully compared the two scenarios, at least it didn't send him into a state of panic again.
His dreams from last year had all seemed to be from outside his very own body, yet this time it was most certainly inside Nagini. What was the difference? Surely it couldn't just be because Voldemort had a proper body now, the connection between them clearly ran deeper than some physical shell. There was nothing in him though that remotely suggested he may get an answer for this though, and would just have to accept it for the phenomena it was.
"Nope," James said popping the p for emphasis.
"Never going to happen," Sirius agreed.
"I can't even picture it," Remus rolled his eyes while Lily frowned at the lot of them.
Lily hummed with approval. Her son got starved enough without him helping the process along because he was stressed.
"A treat not many are privy to, you should be grateful," Sirius muttered petulantly, still more angry at himself than anyone he wasn't doing more than just singing. He uneasily glanced towards his best mate, but James was just looking sadly to him. It was clear he understood why Sirius was so angry with himself, but nothing in his expression made it seem as if he was angry at Sirius for acting this way. He couldn't imagine why.
"What's with this sudden switch back to me?" Sirius hissed. "I'd rather keep talking about how you're not possessed by Voldemort."
Harry shifted anxiously again, though now it was in concern for his godfather. He wished he could offer up some explanation for why he'd continued to be so distant, but Harry honestly had none.
For just a moment Sirius did feel a twitching smile push at himself. He wanted to keep being angry at himself for not being there for Harry once, not even when he was in the same blasted
house with him, but now the idea of getting revenge on that bare house in this way was a kind distraction...and he honestly wondered if that's what he was doing while Harry was there. He
found it hard to believe right now, but what if he really was just so distracted at having company and putting as much as he could into those hang ups out of pure spite for what his mother would think of them, Harry only crossed his mind long enough to help him with the other end of the tinsel? This wasn't helping his case of how much sanity he had left.
"Honestly, I'm impressed it took her five years to do that one, considering she probably has one for every subject," Remus snorted.
"And not even helpful advice," James sighed.
Lily just had time to note how ironic it was those titles were in the exact opposition to the books he was supposedly learning his DA from this year before he started.
Sirius was so sick of his continued mentionings only furthering his confusion, so exhausted from being so useless, that he put every last drop of energy he had into exclaiming wildly and jabbing a finger into Remus' face. "Moony, how could you! I go from giving Harry an international broom, plus a knife of actual use, and then this! No, no, this is all dastardly ploy on Moony's part, they must be a trick present for not even he ever insulted our world by handing over such things as a gift! I'll not have it-"
"Are you quite done?" Remus interrupted curiously.
"No," he grumbled, crossing his arms petulantly and seriously considering continuing just to further agitate the lot of them.
"Well I'm going to keep going anyways, so you can continue in another room," Remus pleasantly informed him, turning back curiously in hopes of some kind of explanation for this, as it was rather odd from the two of them. He'd only let Sirius go on as long as he had to force himself to push past the sting he still couldn't be bothered to cobble together his own gift for Harry but rather put his name on what Sirius had likely done.
"Oh," both muttered, before actually grinning just a bit. The idea of further encouraging Harry like this was actually something both were rather fond of now that the idea was in their head.
James just rolled his eyes at the two while not at all discouraging the idea, wishing his friends had picked something a tad more flamboyant in their efforts to help Harry out with this. He supposed though this was just another example of how different they truly were from his friends now, and he'd just have to get over it.
"I think I've heard of those," Remus said with amusement, "you're actually supposed to let it eat the money, and then you have to tickle it to release the money. It is true though that if you're not careful, it can rip up paper money or a finger if you don't do it right."
"Hagrid," Harry said in answer with a grin.
"I'm impressed Tonks gave you a present!" Lily said in surprise, she hadn't thought her and her son had gotten on that well.
"She gave Ron one too, but I don't know about anyone else," Harry shrugged.
"Well it can't be that awful then, as I'm sure it was made with as much love as Molly's sweater," Lily at once tried to scold, though her lips were at once twitching at the idea of this while Sirius and James were puzzling in confusion an elf would do such a thing.
"That didn't sound very Merry," Remus muttered in concern.
"Oh dear," James muttered, watching Lily as she at once switched to leaning forward on edge, clearly wanting to give Molly a hug and give Percy a piece of her mind next even while she was mad at the both of them and understood both of them all at the same time.
"Maybe he just hasn't heard?" Harry offered as he scowled heavily, he couldn't imagine even Percy being that cold.
"It's a possibility," Sirius agreed without much enthusiasm for the idea. "It wasn't in the papers after all, so unless someone from the Ministry strictly told him-"
"Or maybe Molly did?" Remus agreed half heartedly.
Both left a bit to be desired, but it was certainly the kinder alternative than Percy flat uncaring about his family anymore. In fact, if any of them had thought so far ahead, they almost would have hoped this would help to gap the bridge between the two.
"I can't imagine how that didn't brighten her day," Lily groaned for the poor mother.
Remus finally brightened while reading about all this. He'd already half convinced himself he was going to be a no show without explanation, again.
"If there was one thing I wish you'd come here with, it was this!" James groaned.
"Your priorities," Lily rolled her eyes.
"The most use it'll ever get," Sirius snickered.
"Perfume?" Harry repeated in surprise, though the others hardly looked the same and more indulgent than anything.
"Looks like Ron's not being so subtle anymore about his crush," Sirius chuckled.
"Perfume already, either he's throwing out a massive hint or they're already together and Harry never noticed," James smirked.
"I'd notice something like that!" Harry said defensively, thinking back, but his friends hadn't been acting too differently than normal. Though he did wonder if this had something to do with Hermione's letter to Krum and that made Ron switch from getting her a new quill.
Lily shook her head fondly. Considering how he was with his own crush, she wasn't sure of that.
Remus considered letting his friends linger on this topic like they so clearly wanted to do, but Ron wasn't here to suffer with Harry on this so it would be almost cruel to leave him on his own for this one. Still, he turned back to the book with an honest smile now, Harry finally looking at ease again all he'd been asking for.
"Of course it is," Sirius rolled his eyes.
Harry frowned at him slightly, so James quickly swooped in and asked, "you still buying Dobby those socks for every day of the year?"
"Yes," Harry said with a smile, "I sent him some more along for that Chirstmas."
"Between you and Hermione, he probably owns more socks than all of Hogwarts by now," Remus snickered.
"Not like it would work anyways," Sirius rolled his eyes with a huff, still in disbelief none of them realized that after all this time.
"He dosen't have a bedroom," Sirius said flatly without a touch of remorse.
Harry frowned sadly at him, and yet the mention of Kreacher again was nagging terribly at the edge of his mind. He was supposed to be remembering something, very important, about the last time Kreacher was mentioned...but he'd been so consumed with what he'd done to Arthur the thought just wouldn't present itself.
Lily sighed deeply and began fidgeting with her hair. She couldn't quite shake off the Percy problem as well as the boys easily did with an eye roll. She couldn't stop imagining how much worse this would have to get for Percy to come back to them, if next time it may be even worse than hospitalization...
"More than I've ever done," Sirius scoffed, though he'd never bothered to open this door before either. He wasn't sure if anyone in his family had in fact, if they needed the bugger they just called for him.
"I wasn't aware he slept," Sirius muttered bitterly, "I thought he haunted at all hours."
Harry fidgeted uneasily at the mention of her, and glancing at Sirius' clear disgust wasn't making that feeling one bit better. He knew what she'd done to Neville's past and he hated her for that alone, but she was in Azkaban, there was just no reason for him to start shaking slightly at the thought of what else she may do.
"She'll be lucky if he doesn't piss on it before chucking it in the boiler," Sirius snapped.
"Have you ever tried?" Lily raised a haughty brow. She didn't fault Sirius much for his hatred of his elf now she knew some of the reasons for them, but mutual hatred only made things worse.
Sirius just scoffed, before a cruel grin slipped up and he said, "no, but I just might, it would give him heart failure."
Remus rolled his eyes and kept going before Lily could do more than scowl at him.
Harry could feel his vision starting to swim, his heart already tightening with worry. Sirius just scoffed though, throwing an easy arm around Harry and not quite able to keep the malice out of his voice, "I know what you're thinking, but Kreacher isn't as smart as Dobby, nor nowhere near as motivated to do anything so stupid as leave."
Harry had to concentrate just to swallow before nodding, but not one small bit of him could relax as he whispered, "sure you're not underestimating him?"
Sirius rolled his eyes at Harry's worry, whatever he was thinking that had him looking so worried was probably just lingering worry for his Voldemort scare from earlier.
James at least laughed, Remus tried to resist doing the same, while Lily frowned at the lot of them. The Malfoy's ploy had failed, to their benefit of course, but all because they'd never paid a speck of attention to their house-elf. Now here was Sirius doing the exact same thing. It scared her more than her mind could handle in that moment to even concoct an idea of how badly this could go, if Kreacher was somehow slipping out and passing things along like Dobby had done for Harry. The way Harry kept glancing anxiously at his godfather...but no, she was being ridiculous of course. Sirius must have covered all his bases on what that elf could say, she was just getting paranoid in trying to interpret all of her son's fears.
Remus paused for a moment in surprise. He'd never even considered the idea of going back to St. Mungo's since his initial release, the place housed some of his worst memories of waking up and realizing what a monster he was. Yet here he was, casually going along with them it seemed. He wanted to glance at his friends, like maybe they'd have some explanation for him, but he refused to look up purely to show just how much he didn't care either way.
"Now who's being paranoid," Sirius said innocently towards Harry, who forced a smile in place he didn't feel, but it was better than letting that gaping hole eat away at him. He hoped he was being paranoid, that he'd get to always enjoy Sirius' company for as long as he wanted then and now.
"I swear I'd enjoy this job just to hear some of the stories in all of this," James chuckled.
"Guess it's better than the one who couldn't bother to look at you last time," Sirius snickered.
"Wonder what he's been up to," Remus mused at once
Lily felt her brows creep up with worry, that wasn't a good start. Harry though looked slightly amused, as he remembered watching Mr. Weasley try to get around this, and surely if something had gone wrong he'd be much more worried about it.
"The man's got a gift for making me think the exact opposite," Lily said indulgently, just happy he was okay for whatever had happened.
"I'm sure he's rather easy to get gifts for," Sirius said cheerfully, thinking he could pluck up anything from a muggle shop and Arthur would love it.
"Uh oh," James hummed, though he looked more curious than concerned.
Lily not so much, all sorts of complications running through her mind of what could have gone wrong. Thankfully he was still alive of course, but she felt just as snappish as Molly at the idea something had happened so told her husband to hush until she got her answer.
"Women," Sirius muttered so only Remus could here. He agreed, but chose not to reply for now.
"Honestly the proper response," James still said with chipper, not even flinching while Lily kept scowling at him for poking fun at this. Something really bad could have happened, and just
because he was up and talking didn't mean it wasn't a problem anymore.
"Oh this is just getting better and better," Lily groaned.
The boys burst out laughing without restraint, and Lily slumped back while shaking her head as she grasped what had happened, catching her husband's hand in a slight apology for her temper.
She was still on edge for everything that had happened to Harry.
"Wow, cheers Moony, spreading the holiday spirit around," Sirius grinned while patting him on the shoulder for not only an excellent escape but also putting that Order business to even more good use.
Remus didn't detect a hint of mocking in his tone, but he'd still rather swat the hand away then dwell on the idea much.
"Oh? Honestly, I hadn't noticed either," James' shoulders were starting to shake with laughter.
Harry blinked in surprise, glancing to his dad and realizing why he'd be laughing hardest of all. "Wizards really don't do that?"
James blinked in surprise, and then continued to laugh even harder that Muggles really tried that.
Lily watched him for a moment with indulgence before explaining to Harry, "no, a charm can be used for most cuts, or if they're to severe then they're wrapped and given some blood potions until they can find an alternative method to keeping the wound shut."
"You mean Muggles actually," James faltered, and mimed squishing his skin together, his face screwed up as he tried to picture it.
"Close enough dear, and it does work remarkably well for a lot of their wounds," Lily patted his hand as he still struggled with the idea.
"How do they survive without magic?" He just muttered, while Remus finally forced himself to keep going rather than watching James get his head around this, no matter how much fun the latter was.
"She's taking this rather hard," Sirius winced for the poor man who couldn't even make a run for it while bedridden.
"I'm sure it's just worry," Lily was still smiling, James' face was still distant as he kept muttering about the idea. "I can't say I'd have reacted much better if any of you lot tried something you had no clue would work while in that condition."
The boys silently concluded it was best not to respond to that.
"A load of help I'm sure," Sirius said with chipper, "though I doubt they have a cure for whatever Prongs has," he finished with a smirk while James finally came back to the here and now in time to stick his tongue out at him.
Harry blinked in surprise, his mind trying to make a painful leap to something, but was instantly distracted by Sirius looking just as affronted. "I've no such thing, where would the painting get that idea?"
Harry snickered away at once while Remus called him an idiot.
"What a lovely bedside manner," James snorted.
"I can think of better uses for Umbridge's body parts, like kelpie food," Remus muttered.
"I recommend you try that," James said honestly, while watching Sirius with mock concern, "just to make sure you don't get it mate."
Sirius just smirked, an expression clearly warning James should keep an eye out for eel eyes appearing in his dinner now, while Harry resisted the urge to glance at Remus curiously and ask if
he could even have that cure, would being a werewolf affect the treatment? Could he even have such a thing as being a werewolf seemed to hold him resistant to quite a few things. He denied
asking any of the above out of sheer rudeness however.
"A ghastly sight in themselves, maybe the eels are worth it," Sirius shoulders kept shaking while James leaned down and kissed a freckle on Lily's cheek.
"You've far more restraint than some," Remus congratulated Harry while Sirius was still freely laughing.
"Oh, my, goodness," Lily whispered, staring hard at Remus as she tried to to think up some other explanation for the suddenly stunned look on Remus' face.
She wasn't getting another answer though, as they remembered vividly that description. Apparently they weren't getting any further answer at all from Remus who kept sitting there dumbstruck, so Sirius snatched the book away and read with honest, eager curiosity for this explanation.
"Look, Hermione remembers her first crush!" James yelped, and then they were all laughing. There was a hard edge to the noise that didn't quite make it feel natural, none of them had
forgotten what he'd nearly done to Harry plus all those other poor people he'd had to have done something to for his books to have been so popular. The fiend should have been in Azkaban for
his act's, but now they fully realized the setting he was found in, and they realized he'd never recovered from his memory loss!
"Give that back," Remus demanded, not quite eagerly, but certainly coming out his shock enough to snatch it back before Sirius could protest the fun of this.
Sirius gave in without one anyways, knowing Remus' insulted pride from before at such a useless waste being a teacher had been just a bit sated, but it couldn't be a pleasant reminder for Moony either.
Lily rubbed at her temple while James' grin went more twisted than ever, muttering snidely that he hadn't changed at all.
James laughed all the harder, Harry grinning at him as well as he guessed what the joke was.
"I'd hold no remorse for that what so ever," Sirius scoffed in disgust.
"There's the proper response!" Remus congratulated.
Lily was smiling along as well, though she was getting a bit worried. Not particularly for his care, he could fall back down into the Chamber for all he'd done, but if he had been in St. Mungo's this whole time, then surely he should be looked after better than just wandering around the place.
"I don't understand why you're still calling him that?" James demanded.
"I don't understand why they ever called him that," Remus glared at the word.
"Well that was a nice change at least," Harry snickered.
"Teach is not the word I'd use," Remus scoffed.
"No," they all stated.
"Certainly all of the important lessons, like humbleness," Lily snorted.
"Ah," Lily finally muttered in understanding.
"Maybe it's because someone made sure to reveal what a farce he was, I find it lucky the place isn't sent dungbombs once a week," James scowled.
"I wonder how he's even paying for the place?" Lily mused, hoping all the money that should have gone to the families of the victims for that memory charm placed on the people of Lockhart's stories wasn't being wasted on this dung for brains.
"Whatever the answer, it's too good for him," Sirius grumbled.
"It's sad you can't even blame this on the memory charm, he was always like that," Remus rolled his eyes.
"I'm not sure I'd even know the difference right now not knowing that," Sirius scoffed.
"Not that he had much of a mind to regain," James said in disgust.
"You are a far better person than any of us," Remus scoffed, "I'd have turned around and walked away again. I've had my fun."
Harry began twitching in unease, something about this place pestering at his mind...
"I know that name," Sirius snapped his fingers impatiently towards James.
"Don't look at me," James shrugged, the name meaning nothing to him.
Lily frowned in remembrance as well, she felt like she had heard that name recently as well, but she couldn't place from where.
Sirius was still grumbling and running his hand through his hair in agitation, but no one was helping.
Harry was frowning anxiously now, something of this place really pushing hard at his mind.
Lily was watching him with a frown, her voice coming out softly, "it's alright Harry. You're getting better, you'll never go near that place."
The boys stiffened as they looked wildly to Harry, but he merely gave her a gentle smile in return. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind yet, but it still meant everything to him she'd never consider the option.
"What did Ginny do to deserve a detention?" James spluttered in protest.
"Wait, so Dumbledore never did turn him in for what he did!" Lily spluttered as she looked away from Harry, now glaring daggers at the book. "He shouldn't still be getting fan mail, he should be getting death threats!"
"Did Dumbledore really not turn him in?" Remus demanded of Harry, but all he could do was shrug.
He knew he'd never said anything about this fact, he'd been far to happy with everything else going on at the end of the year, like Ginny being alive. He certainly hadn't kept up with the paper enough at that age to know if it would have been mentioned, but by all accounts, "no, I guess it seems not. Maybe Dumbledore could never get proof enough to do anything about this."
"About the only thing he's ever had claim to," Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust.
"Thank you for that reminder," James smirked.
Harry stiffened, his eyes going wide with surprise as he felt he'd finally found the source of his unease, and now he was just as sure those around him weren't going to enjoy the answer any more than him of whose privacy was being saved.
Harry had been so intensely focused on the idea of that dividing curtain, this hardly passed his mind as something he should consider, even as his gut tightened painfully for something he would already regret forgetting.
"Oh dear," Lily whispered, her hand covering her mouth as her eyes flipped wide in surprise.
"Bollocks," Sirius hissed while Remus recoiled and considered dropping the book to save himself getting further information on this. They'd all known Alice and Frank at least in passing while in school, and James and Lily had grown quite close with the pair over the past year because of their shared newborns. They had desperately been trying to come up with a plan to help them once this all came down, how to warn Frank and Alice of their impending future, and hadn't yet come to the full realization that despite Dumbledore saying they'd survived the instance, where exactly they would be.
Remus inhaled very slowly, and exhaled at the same speed, before glancing guiltily at the others for what he was fixing to tell them. Still, skipping it would do nothing but hurt Harry worse, and they were going to do everything to make sure all this ever was, was a horrible tale that would never come true.
Harry sagged back into his seat, intensely fighting the feeling of covering his face so as not to hear of someone else's past they had no wish to share. He suffered that on a regular basis through his life in the wizarding world, he'd never want to force this on Neville.
"You are such a good person," James told him sincerely, knowing he'd have set Lockhart on fire as a first distraction, but even that may not be enough to keep the others attention as well as they'd know Neville's last name.
"I think I'd rather be struck by that bullet," Sirius bounced uneasily, waiting for the promising blow, this was only going to get worse.
None of them could even imagine this. What Neville must be feeling, on top of already having seen his parents like this, to just suddenly have people he knew foisted into a private moment.
Remus wasn't sure how he sounded to the others, but he could feel how strained his voice was, unclear of any emotion except stress to get this over with.
"Probably one of the politest first greetings I've ever gotten aside from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley," Harry muttered.
"The others I get, by would Hermione be recognized?" James quickly flipped to analyzing this rather than continue thinking about two people he actually knew, actually liked in such a place as that.
"Maybe Neville's mentioned her along with the other two, he's been known as a passing friend once or twice," Lily supplied when Harry still seemed prone against saying anything.
Lily made a horrified noise at that woman comparing Neville to his father now of all times. Couldn't the woman have a heart, realize Neville wanted this to continue as much as Harry didn't,
and excuse the two of them? Instead, that was almost a passive insult.
Remus had never heard many pleasant things about Augustus from Frank, and he now had confirmation they were all true. It was no wonder Neville was the way they'd seen in class if this was all he heard at home.
"I think I'd have done it anyways," James said miserably.
"Hint one, Ron nothing," Sirius groaned.
"I suppose just leaving would be more rude than saving him," Remus muttered, but he wasn't coming up with any alternatives either.
James paled, his mouth twisting in agitation for some spiteful comment he'd have given back. If they hadn't knowledge of this before hand, if this was the first he'd heard about his fellow Order members, he'd have been loosing his mind with worry! How could she just throw this around like that.
"That woman!" Lily spat in outrage. "He can show however he wants to feel towards his parents! If he doesn't want to parade the fact like you're doing, than how dare she force him to!"
Harry was busy trying to sink as far back in his seat as he could go, wanting to close his eyes so he wouldn't have to keep looking to his parents, thinking about what his life would have been like if they'd been like that. Yet every time he did, he just remembered Neville's parents instead.
Remus startled so bad the book nearly fell to the floor as he realized what he'd said. His mind floundered to understand how they, if they...but he also realized there was no way to get an
answer other than to keep going. He could hardly glance at the others, feeling their surprise as well that clearly a once lively woman was at least capable of a bit more than they'd thought if she'd wandered over to join the conversation. What if she was like Lockhart, would it hurt more to see some echo of her? He was starting to run out of air as he pressed on, his voice cracking more with every word.
Hickory began purring loudly in Lily's ear, nearly startling her out of her seat, though it made the baby in her lap giggle for just a moment. Still, she reached up and began absently stroking the thick brown fur, the calming movement the only bearable thing at the moment. This was as unimaginable as trying to imagine Sirius thirteen years after Azkaban. This wasn't going to happen, she just couldn't bear it of the woman raising a little baby like her own, not someone so good who only wanted to help the world.
James almost snapped right then. He hated this! Frank and Alice had no more deserved this than Lily and James had. The good people they were out trying to do the right thing, and they were the ones who continued to suffer the worst fates of all! Alice loved chewing bubble gum, she popped bubbles incessantly during meetings often driving everyone else crazy, and to think for even a second he'd have to go one day, seeing her like this as the only remnant of the life she'd never lived! How was it fair!
"It's not going to happen!" Sirius snarled, sounding more convinced of this now than he ever had in his life. "We won't let it, I'll rip Bellatrix and Jr.'s head off my f'ing self, that's never going to happen!"
Harry leaned into him for a moment, wishing just once that his memory's, his past was wrong.
Remus had to stop to let Sirius get that out, and he was glad he had, he'd needed a moment to collect himself. To feel the soft cushion beneath him, for Sirius to continue being himself and
always swear he wasn't going to let the worst happen to someone he cared for. It was all the reminder he could cling to this hadn't happened yet.
Harry was starting to look a bit green in here from this memory being returned. This was a fate he wouldn't wish upon anyone.
James had his arm wrapped tight around Lily, both of them hating having to picture in their head that being the only gift a child could receive from their parent...and yet it was still more than they'd given Harry in his time. Even something like a wrapper would mean the world to Neville.
"Here's hoping this'll finally show Hermione the love Kreature gives out," Sirius said so twistedly if Harry hadn't been watching him he wouldn't have recognized the voice.
Remus opened, then closed his mouth. The mocking laugh just wouldn't escape, not after all that.
Harry suddenly let out a wild gasp, hope flaring in him for just a moment as she shouted, "obliviate!"
"Harry-" Lily began in concern, but he didn't even seem to hear her.
"Why couldn't they just have erased the pain from Neville's parents memories? If they don't remember being tortured, surely they wouldn't..."
He'd already trialed off as he began looking wildly around in hopes someone would start looking hopeful again, just a hint of agreement.
No one wanted to be the one to do so, hoping Harry would realize on his own if this hadn't been done already then it wasn't an option, but his face just continued to look more concerned without the understanding, so with a heavy sigh James explained. "I'm afraid Harry that magic doesn't work that way. Magic runs deeper than just hitting your skin, the Cruciatus curse tortures your mind as much as your body all at once, you can't fix everything with magic. Suppose if they did just try to block out the memory of the pain, the magic that had caused it would still linger, the scar would still be there in the brain, the soul, causing the damage." He paused with a lingering look on his wife. "It's magic that runs deeper than flesh, something that just can't be healed."
Harry slumped back in disappointment, still trying to push his mind around in frustration, for something to be done for them instead of just treating this as incurable.
Remus couldn't even find the simple words to announce the chapter was done, it felt too insignificant for the future they kept hearing about.
HPHPHPHP
It probably showed in this chapter, but I really dislike Augusta Longbottom. Her and whatever family Neville has seems way to hard on that poor kid. I also don't particularly feel that her
sending a note to Neville at the end of the seventh book particularly makes up for it the years of talking to him like this.
I have an actual official completion date for when this one will be done that I'm not changing, finally. Sorry it took so long to lock this one down, it's been a crazy couple of months for me. It's on my profile if you care to look, otherwise I'll enjoy your company again next Monday!
*Actually I added that, because it's never mentioned what Mad-Eye did, he's not mentioned after he's said to have gone with them. I could have said he stayed in the car with Dung, but this made me smile more.
**Okay, so normally I don't do this, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I swear this isn't a slam on Twilight, it just honestly amuses me, because I notice stupid things. Does anyone ever notice how similar some of these names are? An Alice from an asylum like place? A James who had a redheaded girlfriend? Two redheaded Victoria's. I won't make a Bella book two/ Bellatrix crack, but come on. There's also some that aren't as oddly similar but share names, such as Charlie. Everyone's pointed out the Black thing, but these small ones are the things that get to me.
