Hello! Happy Double update! I bring you the last ultra-beef chapter to catch the POV up to speed (23,900 words, the longest chapter I've ever dropped? Have I lost my mind? Possibly! Thank you quarantine!)
First off, big thank you to nmatthews on AO3 for betaing like always! Check out her stories if you haven't already, she writes beautifully and I love her :)
Alrighty! Here we go! Buckle up!
Warnings: This is basically a recap of the story from Izuku's POV that goes into present time so not everything is touched on and there are scenes that aren't fully in Katsuki's POV. This is mainly because in my mind I think different things stand out to different people so things that stand out to Izuku are different than the things that stand out to Katsuki :)
Chapter 20 - Embers
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Izuku was twenty-three when he first encountered the man with ember-like eyes.
Katsuki had turned out to be someone in Izuku's life that he never saw coming. He flooded in like a cool river into Izuku's life and watered his wilting soul in more ways than the rose lover could describe with the words he knew.
If he had to meet Katsuki all over again, Izuku wouldn't change a thing.
Izuku had resigned himself to the idea of never finding love again after Touya, especially when Toshinori moved him into the small apartment on Uchi Street. The tiny living space was half the size of the ones he had shared with Touya and Mirio and did nothing to help the growing pains that blossomed due to being away from his hometown.
He felt undeniably alone in this large, unfamiliar city.
But it was Izuku's new reality, and he had to adjust to it. He appreciated the apartment for its safety. It was in the middle of a very popular living district and between two other police stations. It was also extremely close in proximity to Toshinori.
Izuku admittedly felt secure. It was strangely comforting to know that All For One had an underlying feud with the powerful drug lord of Shizuoka City, Yotsubashi Rikiya.
But it didn't stop his nerves from kicking in that first night he moved in. The summer night's harsh winds blew fiercely against his windows that fateful Friday night. The glass on the windows rattled and the echoing sound of them reminded Izuku he was by himself on a mattress in the unfurnished apartment. The greenette nervously jittered his leg at the feeling, his body shouted for him to go out into the Friday night life to remedy his loneliness with his go-to fix.
But Izuku pushed it down the best he could.
He had decided a clean slate meant clean.
No more sleeping with his coworkers and no more using other people as emotional crutches. Nope. He wasn't going to do it anymore. He started his first therapy session next week and Izuku was determined to start facing his problems head on.
The wind blew louder and the greenette groaned into his pillow out of frustration. His body itched for that sweet euphoric release that allowed him to forget and he found himself caving quicker than he expected.
"Just one more time," he whispered to himself as he climbed out of bed, pushing down his shame. "This can be a special occasion. Moving is hard for anyone."
He reinforced himself as he threw on his red sneakers, rose jacket and the tightest pair of black pants he owned that almost always guaranteed him a good lay.
But when he walked into the nearest bar, he wasn't anticipating locking eyes with the most striking, burning irises he'd ever seen.
His heart did a strange flip.
The greenette ignored it, writing it off as conditioned excitement—and he was partially correct. When those same intense red eyes followed his trail across the bar, Izuku was convinced that the handsome blond would be going home with him. Just judging by the lust in his eyes and the way the stranger's muscles bulged in his black t-shirt, Izuku knew that man would fuck him exactly how he craved.
Or—at least that's what he thought would happen.
"Not interested kid, you got the wrong idea," the perfectly raspy voice quipped at him. The blond man turned away from him like he was annoyed and sipped his bloody mary.
Izuku blinked and had to pause for a moment because he never had someone check him out that hard and then just shoo him away. Maybe he was just playing hard to get? Banter could be seen as a form of foreplay and Izuku was always game for foreplay.
But the more Izuku tried his best to flirt, the more the damn man wasn't budging.
The grumpy blond stayed rooted in his stance that he was most definitely not interested in Izuku and it felt like the biggest slap to the face.
Izuku internally groaned and told himself that this was karma for giving into his addiction so easily. He was supposed to be starting over for kami's sake. Yet here he was: embarrassing himself in front of this attractively scowling man, not even his second night in the city.
The orphan felt himself start to resign to a sullener mood at the thought and decided to give up trying to sleep with the blond. He clearly wasn't budging, and this was Izuku's first rejection pre-scar reveal.
Instead, Izuku fed his loneliness by making conversation with the stranger. That's all it came down to he figured: conversation or sex—at least he wasn't alone in that unfamiliar apartment.
Izuku figured he'd never see the man again and it was so obvious the handsome blond was hung up on someone—much like Izuku.
But when he asked, the blond just retorted with something that burned into Izuku's brain.
"Me and her are way in the past but...that's the start of the issue, I guess. My stupid ass broken heart caused a lot of trouble and now I can't reverse the damage it's done."
The words spoke to his core as he thought about the tragedy of his life that led him to this bar in Shizuoka City, of all places. Touya's hometown.
A memory of Touya dancing with him in their bedroom flashed in his head. He softly heard the redhead's voice calling out his name with a smile and laugh. His heart unfairly longed because he knew he'd never be able to hear Touya's voice again.
At the sudden bittersweet memory, Izuku accidentally let his bountiful sadness slip through the seams of his well-constructed emotional mask.
"Hearts are...complicated things. They always make a mess."
Too busy in his mind, Izuku never noticed the subtle soft look the stranger with burning ember eyes gave him.
"Y'know, it always perplexed me: how much love consumes and destroys us before we even recognize what's happening. Then, unfortunately, by the time we do notice...we've already been incinerated down to ashes by the havoc it's caused."
Heavy silence followed and it caused Izuku to panic when he realized he just said what was scratching in his mind loose. The shocked stare from the stranger didn't help and it made Izuku quickly gather himself to rebound far far away from that part of his grief.
The lonely young adult shoved his precious memories back inside the dusty cabinet in the bottom of his heart and safely pinned his plastic smile on his face.
But those intense eyes didn't seem to be phased by the well-rehearsed smile.
Izuku felt his heart tell him this was a mistake when he was rejected one more time.
The flustered green-eyed man took his leave, heading over to another guy who was seemingly interested in his assets. But the entire time the other man talked, Izuku could feel the red-eyed blond staring at him rather hard.
Izuku admittedly felt embarrassed by the judgmental gaze coupled with the fact he let some random guy trigger his memories about Touya.
Izuku tried his best to keep it together and quickly decided he needed space away from the blond. There was an itch in his body that felt ashamed and soon he rushed out with the next sex-partner to be that was smiling too hard at him.
However, when it came time for Izuku to invite the stranger into his new apartment, he couldn't shake the feeling of eyes as bright as embers burning into him. Something had shifted in the air and Izuku had noticed the dull itch in his heart for company subdued and he had no idea why.
Was it the conversation about heartbreak? Or was it the judgmental nature of intensely colored eyes?
Izuku's entire world stopped for a split second when he realized that was the first time that this ever happened to him.
Suddenly, the cloud of lust in his mind cleared as he stared at his wooden door. His hazy mind focused long enough to consider that this wasn't how he wanted to start over. He turned around to the man he had dragged with him and gave a sympathetic smile.
"I'm so sorry," he apologized with a grimace. "This might have been a mistake? I'll pay for your cab ride back."
The stranger was surprised and left with a few choice words—but the greenette found himself unable to care. He couldn't bring himself to bed another stranger like he thought. The shame from the rejection riddled his body along with the thoughts of Touya.
Izuku stared at his new apartment door and decided that he needed to learn how to be alone.
So, he spent the rest of the weekend just like that: forcefully alone.
He went shopping for furniture, food, and clothes to start his new life. The sex addict pushed through his urges despite how painful it was for him. Instead of sleeping with someone, Izuku poured out his soul into a painting of himself that he felt reflected what was inside his mind—the part that he always ignored so diligently.
The artist painted himself glancing down, holding his chest and looking directly at his red bleeding heart that was encompassed by three flames. Each flame represented the loved one he lost to the flames.
His mom. His dad. Touya.
Izuku took several steps back from the wet canvas when he finished. He felt a strange lightness, but also a strange sadness from diving in that deeply into his emotions. Izuku tried his best to consider it a better outlet and decided to open himself up through his art. That weekend he started sketching more things that related to his grief. He wrote poems to purge his mind and he started feeling his thoughts somewhat clearer.
He almost felt like sending the nameless stranger with ember eyes a thank you card for bringing him back down to reality long enough to make the painting.
But it felt like a silly thought because there was no way he'd run into the handsome blond again.
Not in a place as large as Shizuoka City. They probably would never see each other again, which Izuku was thankful for. He could save himself the embarrassment of rejection and having to awkwardly meet the all-too-handsome man who wasn't interested in him again.
Which is why Izuku felt like he had to be cursed when he walked into the Uchimizu Ave precinct for the first time.
Standing right there like a dutiful soldier was the stranger with embers in his eyes.
And on top of that he was his lieutenant.
Fuck.
. . .
Bakugou Katsuki.
That was his name and Izuku felt like he could've tossed himself into the pits of fire willingly. Not only was the man his boss but he was his supervisor for training. Yup. Izuku was cursed. Izuku felt doomed and repeatedly damned himself for going out that Friday.
He nearly screwed his higher up and almost set himself up for a repeat of Yaizu.
Izuku didn't want that in the slightest. He wanted a normal life and he wanted to be friends without the benefits with his coworkers. Plus, if Friday had told him anything, it seemed like meaningful conversation helped ease his ailment somewhat. So maybe—just maybe—he could be acquaintances with Bakugou and everyone at U.A.
However, when Izuku laid eyes on the man Bakugou dubbed as 'half and half bastard' he couldn't help himself but to naturally flirt. He was extremely good looking and something about him drew Izuku naturally to him because old habits die hard.
Then Shouto's surname dropped.
Todoroki.
All the pieces clicked together in the worst possible way and he quickly felt nauseous.
Touya had a brother in law enforcement that he sometimes talked about—that he mentioned while they were in Makinohara trying to escape the building—where they were supposed to go.
Izuku felt his heart drop to the floor as he studied the profile of Shouto's face that evening. He did look like Touya somewhat.
His mind played out one of the many alternative timelines he used to daydream about: the one where he and Touya somehow ran away together to Shizuoka City. It was a daydream where they stayed with his youngest brother, far away from All For One. The timeline where he imagined Touya's brother would help Touya turn his life around.
A timeline where they were almost happy—one that wasn't true.
Izuku cocooned into his being when he realized he would never be able to escape the past. He had run into another Todoroki and he felt more guilt than ever sitting next to Shouto. He couldn't bring himself to look the sergeant in the eye after it sunk in that he was the reason the man's brother was dead.
Touya died protecting him—and Shouto must've felt that grief as well.
After that evening, despite the welcoming atmosphere, Izuku couldn't bring himself to be around Shouto too much. He asked Bakugou for a ride back to avoid seeing that turquoise colored eye that perfectly matched Touya's.
He clung to the back of his lieutenant's frame on the ride back from dinner that Monday. Being on the back of a motorcycle reminded the greenette of all the times he would ride with his first love.
Izuku felt haunted by the ghost of the fiery redhead. Despite moving cities, all the triggers were still there—and now he had to somehow navigate working with Todoroki Shouto.
Then he was reunited with Shindo Yo of all people. The brunette had lost touch with him after graduation, not that Izuku minded. But the young detective didn't expect him to take a turn down the road of being a jewel thief.
Izuku knew he had to be cursed. First Touya's brother, then seeing his least favorite casual sex partner. What more could spill over from Yaizu?
As if an unforgiving deity heard him, the biggest trigger of all dropped on his second day: an arsonist came into town.
The man had asked for Katsuki and it seemed to be a personal vendetta. He demanded the lieutenant to use his brains to figure out what he wanted like a strange game. Izuku remembered standing there with all the U.A officers perplexed when the one thing Izuku feared happened directly in front of him:
The bank went up in flames.
"Get down!" Bakugou yelled and immediately threw himself onto Izuku and used his body to cage in the smaller one for protection.
The four large vibrations transported Izuku back to Makinohara and all the terror came with it. His mind slipped into a horrifying reliving of being trapped inside the inferno when the heat from the flames could be felt against his skin.
He clung onto what he thought was Touya, trying to save him again and begging him not to leave him. But then slowly red hair slowly faded into blond and blue eyes were suddenly the colors of embers as he came to.
When the burn-victim calmed down, Izuku felt embarrassed to the point he couldn't show his face.
"You can stay in here," Toshinori said with a sad hint in his voice. He led Izuku into his office and closed the door with a heavy sigh after they all cleared the scene.
"I didn't know I would react like that," Izuku whispered, too filled with shame to lift his head. "Really, I had no clue my body would shut down..."
Toshinori just patted his shoulder and bowed down to his height. "Recovery from something you went through takes time and no one could've seen that coming. You were caught off guard. Just stay here until you stop shaking while I go handle the rest of the squad."
Izuku nodded slowly, looking down at his trembling hands.
He hadn't known being that close in proximity to flames would trigger his mind to go that far under. Izuku sat alone in Toshinori's office waiting for his body to stop the tremors while everyone was downstairs debriefing about the arson attack. His mind wondered if this was the Shigarakis who decided to come for him—but it didn't make sense.
It wasn't Shigarakis' style to do things in a showboating kind of way nor waste a building full of money.
They operated slyly under the surface and they only killed when they saw fit. They wouldn't come to Shizuoka City just to play mind games with someone as insignificant as Izuku and risk pissing off the other drug lord. Especially after they told him they would dispose of him quietly.
This was the exact opposite.
Plus, the issue at hand of the man asking for Bakugou and not Izuku.
Izuku chalked it up to more bad luck as he carefully watched how Bakugou took the weight of blame on his shoulders. It worried Izuku to watch the serious man grow even more hard on himself as he isolated himself inside of his office and didn't leave for the rest of the day.
The gesture made Izuku worried because it felt too familiar.
. . .
The days passed by as he settled in at the U.A precinct and there was more tension between Katsuki and Izuku than the green-eyed man ever thought there would be.
Namely, it dangerously sparked between them during training for an undercover mission to save one of Shizuoka City's well-known captains.
He had been trying his best, sparring with Mina when Katsuki undermined him and it set Izuku off like dynamite.
"You're going too easy on him and I need to make sure we're not bringing someone along that's weak."
Something inside of the young detective snapped like a branch under too much pressure at the words. He heard Himiko, Tomura, and Touya's voices in his head all over again, taunting and putting him down.
Izuku remembered how much he sneered because nothing had been going correctly since he came here and he just wanted a fresh clean slate. He'd be damned if he let himself be set up to be called weak again—not after everything he survived.
Izuku had decided he was strong.
He repeatedly told himself he was because it was one of the few things that kept the greenette going like embers burning after a fire that still survived from nearly being extinguished.
Those red colored eyes looked down on him with judgement again and Izuku bristled when the tension mixed in with an indistinguishable feeling.
But the warmth of Bakugou's larger body tousling with his accidentally brought to life that deep seeded need Izuku had been ignoring for the past week.
He gritted his teeth through the feeling when he could feel himself get unwillingly excited as Bakugou wedged himself between his legs then ground down in an extremely dominant manner. Little flickers of heat twitched all over at the intoxicating sensation of the larger man's pelvis against his. Why? Well, because he could easily feel, er...Katsuki through his pants—and the man wasn't even hard. Which spoke volumes.
But Izuku bottled it in and bit his lip to stop his mind from thinking about what Katsuki had going between his legs. He put all his energy in proving himself because he needed to show that he wasn't going to be pushed around—no. Not any longer.
And when he finally had the lieutenant pinned, Izuku made it a point to hammer in a fact about him that everyone needed to know:
"I'm not weak," he hissed directly in the blond's face, trapping the elder man's wrist above his head.
Izuku tried his best to ignore the heat simmering under his skin at the feeling of Bakugou's well defined chest flush against his and how their labored breathing matched in pace. Those burning eyes locked onto his and Izuku felt something spark like a thousand flames.
Then the man did something that nearly snapped Izuku's self-control in half.
"Good," Bakugou had rasped out in the lowest voice Izuku ever heard. "I don't like weak."
The velvet vocals caressed Izuku's inner need straight awake. He felt himself nearly whine with need as he looked too long at the sharp, alluring features. Izuku had no clue hearing that would be as much of a turn on as it was—but it did things to him he wasn't expecting.
Izuku's breathing quickly became shallow when the imagery of Bakugou using his large, rough hands to flip him over, slowly pull his pants down and—
—Stop.
Izuku snatched himself off his superior as if he was on fire when he felt himself grow hard.
Damnit, Izuku. Off limits. He's off limits. You cannot sleep with your higher ups anymore—
The greenette quickly reprimanded himself when he could feel his body burn and he got too excited. He cursed himself for his past when he realized this was the longest, he had gone without getting laid in three years—a week. Izuku huffed as he pulled on his hair when he felt like he might begin to go crazy.
But that was just the start.
There was something about Bakugou that kept drawing Izuku in. Originally, he thought it was just budding sexual tension. It was dripping off of them with the way he would catch his lieutenant casually staring at him as if trying to piece him together like a puzzle.
However, it was something more.
When they went on the undercover mission together, Izuku kept himself in place and tried not to let himself be distracted by the overt attractiveness of Bakugou. But it was interesting to watch his ash blond hair catch the sunlight and it made his sharp features almost seem soft—a strange comparison to his serious, hard personality.
But it was even more interesting to watch the dutiful man somewhat loosen up in the rain with him.
Izuku danced but he felt something change as he listened to the laughter of his workaholic supervisor for the first time.
And it was beautiful.
It stunned Izuku to hear Katsuki laugh and it reminded him of a sweet, soft lullaby. He stared on in surprise at the blond who was now drenched head to toe in the rain. Izuku found that he couldn't tear his eyes away as he watched the way the water formed around Katsuki's tanned skin and wet his hair to give him a softer look.
Then there were his eyes.
They stared on at him right back and there was a gentleness lying beneath them that Izuku didn't anticipate.
If Izuku could describe it, he would describe it as the tender sensation of cool rain against his skin. And that's exactly what Katsuki turned out to be—as gentle as water. There was no spark of lust as Izuku looked on to Katsuki that day in the rain. Just curiosity.
He observed the blond carefully and was impressed at how he was determined to not only rescue Aizawa but how diligently he was at making sure not to harm others—not even criminals.
Then they kissed in the alley for the sake of the undercover mission and Izuku felt himself wade deeper into Katsuki's ocean.
If there was anything Izuku would describe as feeling Katsuki's lips against his, it would be the refreshing feeling of sweet water after a long drought.
They rescued Aizawa that evening and Izuku found himself unwillingly intrigued by Katsuki in the upcoming week. The blond pushed his limits in training, not going easy on Izuku and it was so refreshing to be treated with higher expectations.
However, as time progressed, Izuku found that Katsuki also held himself up to rigorous, hardcore standards.
It turned out the blond lieutenant was hellbent on working himself to death. There was a similar workaholic air to him that Izuku recognized in himself but unlike Izuku, Bakugou never allowed himself any fun.
Not an ounce.
Izuku asked around about the stickler behavior, because he could sense there was an underlying sadness coupled with it that felt all too familiar. But what he found out broke his heart to hear.
"He was the detective that fumbled the Hero Killer case four years ago," Kirishima whispered with a sad look. "Bakugou beats himself up a lot for it. He blames himself heavily for the ten deaths of the officers and kinda carries it with him."
"But that's not his fault entirely. He didn't make the Hero Killer murder them," Izuku whispered back, looking over his shoulder at Katsuki hunkered down in his office. "He's been this way for four years?"
"Yeah, hasn't eased up a bit," Kirishima mumbled with a sigh. "His girlfriend of four years had broken up with him that night and he was really distracted when he input the coordinates for the next strike. So, he hasn't dated since and hasn't allowed himself much leeway for mistakes—in both aspects of his life. Work or relationships. He's very much a 'get it right the first time or fuck off' type of guy."
Izuku remembered frowning deeply when he heard that. He studied the tension in the lieutenant's shoulders that day and Izuku felt his heart clench for him.
Suddenly everything made sense—a heartbreaking amount of sense.
"My stupid ass broken heart caused a lot of trouble and now I can't reverse the damage it's done."
That night after the conversation with Kirishima, Izuku laid in his bed. His head was full of Katsuki and the man's dejected, simmering ember colored eyes.
He noted how they matched his constant glowering and he began to notice that the lieutenant never left the precinct on time—always the last out the door.
The lonely greenette twiddled his thumbs until a thought came to mind. He had wanted to figure out a way to be Bakugou's friend and fill the emptiness of his life with the amazing people at U.A, so maybe—just maybe—he could help Katsuki loosen up a bit? If the stubborn blond would let him.
It would be a shame for him to go on living his life like this when Izuku had learned firsthand to make the most of the moments you have. Right? It couldn't hurt.
Despite what Izuku read to be sexual tension, it seemed like Katsuki truly wasn't interested in him in that way. The man had rejected him—rather harshly too. And based on what Kirishima said, he had no intentions of opening himself up to dating again.
Which made Katsuki a safe option in the love fearing Izuku's eyes. So, he found himself set on the idea.
Which is why he invited the man over his apartment when he got the chance.
He knew he was tipping a very fragile line, but he didn't want to leave the blond to his own devices when Izuku could offer him food, a TV, and desserts. It had been a long time since he cooked for anyone anyways.
The younger detective had a hunch that his higher up didn't really cook. Well, not a hunch. He noticed that the blond rarely packed lunches and the ones he did pack were half put together in a sloppy way.
It made Izuku's inner Midoriya twist with the need to at least offer the man a decent hot meal that was handled with care. His mother would be downright appalled to know someone as hard-working as Katsuki was not eating correctly nor was he even trying to.
Hell, it appalled him.
So, he made something he thought the spicy-food-lover would love and Izuku felt full of comfort with someone else in his tiny apartment. He was happy to have the warmth of another body next to him on the couch and he was even happier to have the company in his lonely living space.
The strange security Katsuki radiated lulled Izuku into a quick sleep, the first good rest he had gotten since moving to Shizuoka City.
It wasn't until nearly 3:00am he had been woken up by the feeling of a large body leaned against him. When Izuku blinked open his sleepy eyes, there in his line of vision, slumped against him was a drowsy Katsuki. The man was clutching files in one hand with his red pen in the other and his glasses were lopsided, pushed down on his nose.
Izuku's heart did a flip at the sight. It was kind of...cute?
Curious green eyes studied how relaxed Katsuki looked without a scowl on his face and it made Izuku tilt his head to study him close. The lonely detective felt a small smile twitch onto his face as he tucked his superior safely in on his couch.
Izuku didn't have any nightmares that night when he went to bed.
. . .
There was so much about Katsuki that filled his mind after that night and Izuku told himself that it probably was just his habit kicking in. He could feel the simmering tension between him and Katsuki but attributed it to just his haziness for lust because Izuku was a lot of things, but he wasn't blind.
Anytime Katsuki walked away, Izuku couldn't help but watch his narrow hips in his dress pants or take note on how well his upper body holster fit him just right. Izuku wondered if the blond knew his shirts fit him that snugly or if he minded the fact that his chest and arm muscles were basically ready to burst through his lieutenant's uniform.
Izuku wanted to groan because it just wasn't fair that he was exactly the height of Katsuki pecs.
Sometimes before sparring Katsuki would stare at him extra hard if he was wearing his stirrup leggings. Red eyes struggled to keep above Izuku's waistline while Izuku was struggling not to blatantly stare at Katsuki's chest while they were talking about cases during coffee breaks.
Which he failed at several times.
"My eyes are up here short stack," his lieutenant had grumbled at him one day, gesturing to his scowling face. Izuku blushed furiously and cleared his throat while mumbling apologies. After that, he chalked it up to strange sexual tension ignited by the sparring match that just never went away.
...A lot of it.
But a stranger thing was how Izuku still felt the sweet water kiss against his lips.
He would sometimes catch himself touching his lips thinking about it but dismissed the feeling. He was just going through a cold turkey phase right now, trying to beat his habit.
Or at least that's what he told his therapist when he explained his coping mechanism to her.
"So you sleep with people to feel less alone and prevent yourself from having nightmares?" She asked with a kind understanding smile on the first session. "Do you talk with your one-night stands in depth or do you try to keep the conversation light?"
"Only sometimes," Izuku informed her with a nervous jittering of his leg. "Most don't really want to get deeper than just being deep inside me."
"Do you think you're just lusting after your higher up right now?" She smiled, no judgement. "What if it's actually a small crush?"
Izuku stopped jittering his leg at the thought. A crush?
"I don't think so." He immediately shook his head because that didn't make sense. Izuku hadn't had a crush on anyone since he was fifteen. "I don't develop crushes on people, especially not after my last significant other passed away in the fire I told you about. I think my brain is just fixated on him because I had originally tried to sleep with him...but he rejected me."
"Well, try being his friend. You're allowed to be friends, correct?" She smiled and took more notes. "No harm can come from a friendship, and from what it sounds like, being around him helps with your nightmares it seems—no sex needed like with the others."
Izuku perked up a bit and nervously played with his hands at the idea. The police picnic was coming up and Izuku saw the window of opportunity so clear.
But then Mirio came to the picnic and snatched it away.
"I got you Izu! Don't worry," Mirio exclaimed when he fell down during touch football.
"I miss you a lot," he whispered when he and Izuku were alone. "You still don't look like you're getting a good amount of sleep. Do you need help?"
"You don't call me as frequently as you said you would," Mirio pushed with a sad look in his eyes that made Izuku feel guilty.
All the painfully obvious advancements made the greenette cringe because his friend still didn't understand. He tried to privately explain to him again how he wasn't sleeping correctly because he wasn't sleeping with people, but Mirio squinted his eyes as if he didn't believe him.
Suddenly, just that undermining look from his closest friend made Izuku feel hesitant.
He could get past his coping mechanism, right? Izuku wearily doubted himself for a moment when Mirio told him that he didn't have to lie about still going out to bars like he had done many times before. But no matter how much Izuku tried to say he wasn't and was working on changing, Mirio didn't seem too convinced.
By the time the police picnic ended, Izuku felt sour and dejected.
He hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Katsuki all day and he was beginning to believe maybe he was fooling himself into thinking he could get better and actually make friends in the new city.
Right as he was about to spiral into his dark thoughts, the night perked up with actually getting alone time with Katsuki when the blond offered to drive him to the shoreline. Then it got better even more when he was able to get Katsuki to let loose a little bit and leave the helmets for his bike behind.
Watching Katsuki ride with the wind in his soft blond hair and a smile was a breathtaking visual that Izuku nearly wanted to frame.
The blond agreed to hang out after work and Izuku felt his heart soar even more. His excitement instantly made a long list of possible things for him and Katsuki to do because finally—he wouldn't be so alone in this empty feeling city. He felt more than ecstatic at the prospect of having a new friend.
But on the ride back to his apartment, Izuku got a reminder that someone was out to hurt Katsuki—and Izuku put him at risk.
The bullets whizzed past his head trying to land on the blond and Izuku fearfully held on tighter to the lieutenant. He could hear Katsuki curse and he feared that the shadowy rider could complete his goal of lodging a bullet in the blond's skull. Izuku felt his heart stop beating at the thought of watching another person die.
Thrashing pain ignited all over his body as they were launched off Ground Zero, heads hitting the grey cement hard. Izuku panicked when his vision drifted in and out, struggling to focus from the blunt hit to his skull but he had only one thought—
Where's Katsuki?
Ignoring the blood trickling down his forehead, the young officer tried to get up to protect the other with the strength he had. However, the dutiful lieutenant pushed him back down to the ground and shielded his body with his own. Izuku felt his blood run cold, looking up at the double vision of Katsuki protecting him and suddenly saw Touya protecting him.
Izuku wanted to yell out 'no' at the sudden thought of losing Katsuki so soon—it frightened him to death more than he imagined.
But then the mystery rider started laughing in that eerie distorted voice and said something rather strange.
"Well, isn't this sweet," the static filled voice spat. It came off like he was disgusted at the visual of Katsuki and Izuku together. "Not the turn I expected but not entirely surprised."
The words were bitter, resentful and there was an overlay of envy inside of them as the man pointed his gun. Izuku could sense the arsonist behind the helmet wasn't stable and gave into his emotions of rage unnaturally quickly.
Which made the man lethally dangerous and unpredictable.
Izuku watched as Katsuki's near-murderer got back onto his black bike and sped away with an unnerving amount of speed and skill. Then Katsuki had a full breakdown and it hurt Izuku's heart to see. The greenette tried to calm him down, but his own fear was potent in the air as well.
Without warning, Izuku's mind did what it did best—imagine alternative scenarios where his mistakes didn't nearly cost someone their life.
Izuku winced at the lack of helmets and realized if they had been wearing them, the arsonist wouldn't have been able to identify Katsuki.
And none of this would have happened.
. . .
Izuku steered far away from Katsuki after the near fatal encounter.
News articles slandering Katsuki's perfect 'Symbol of Victory' image were everywhere. Absolutely everywhere and they took deep digs over and over. Izuku felt cursed. He nearly got Katsuki killed when the only thing he was trying to do was be his friend. On top of that terrible fact, he was now responsible for the media painting Katsuki in an irresponsible manner—which he was anything but.
Mirio had picked him up from the hospital and scolded him relentlessly. Izuku didn't say a word as he listened to his friend be concerned about him for very logical reasons. Izuku tried to apologize, but Mirio kept on hammering into his skull how irresponsible Izuku was and that he always left a mess in his reckless wake.
Izuku grew silent because he felt like it was true.
He looked down at his damaged left hand and studied how without the bandages, he could clearly see how ugly and disfigured his skin was. Staring at the scar, Izuku felt little hope for himself to truly get better as Mirio accused him of sleeping with Bakugou or least trying to.
Did he want to sleep with Bakugou? Izuku didn't know—but he couldn't deny there was something between them.
There was a strange pull towards the lieutenant that the greenette thought was just the desire to be friends—but what if it wasn't? Izuku spun around in circles in his head and wound up convinced that maybe he was deluding himself.
Mirio was right—a problem like his didn't just go away easily. He probably didn't even like Bakugou, his body just wanted him to help him forget about his grief that he had yet to face straight on.
Izuku dreamed that night of sitting alone in a circle of fire. But instead of fear, he felt hopeless sadness that the flames didn't just take him as well. He could gaze past the thick wall of flames encasing him and see distant, hazy silhouettes of his parents in the mirage.
They were holding hands, waiting for him on the other side of the fire.
Izuku woke up that night feeling as if there was a weight heavy on his chest holding him down. He thought someone had laid a thousand stones over his heart—but it was just his sorrow suffocating him.
The orphan rolled over in his lonely bed and shed silent tears that night. The dream evoked all too familiar dark thoughts inside of his mind. Which is why when Mirio came to check in on him and they made eye contact—Izuku felt himself buckle into that part of him that hurt too much to think about his pain.
. . .
The next morning when Mirio left, Izuku was dejected as he showered off the leftover shame.
The casual sex partners had gotten into a heated argument in the morning with Izuku telling Mirio that he needed space to recover. The greenette hadn't meant for it to escalate but the more Mirio insisted that Izuku was being selfish, he felt himself snap.
The yelling resulted in Mirio leaving back to Yaizu in bitter spirits and Izuku left alone with the fact that he caved back into the one thing he didn't want to do.
"I think you should distance yourself from him," his therapist said with a tight tone when Izuku explained what happened. "He cares for you, but only to the extent that he wants you to recover in a fashion that still allows him access to you. He's holding out on hopes that you might view him romantically one day and it's beginning to be detrimental to your friendship."
Izuku remembered nodding, not having had seen it that way but she was right. He needed to fully distance himself from Mirio until he got a handle on things better and found himself not giving into sex so easily when he was having an episode.
So Izuku did that.
He limited himself talking to his friend despite the bittersweet feeling. Izuku distanced himself from Katsuki as well, feeling both too guilty and ashamed for an entire two weeks until the lieutenant waltzed straight up to his desk and asked him how he was doing.
Izuku was initially startled, not expecting Katsuki to even spare him a glance after the helmets but there he was—asking him to go out and do something. Together.
The lonely greenette wouldn't have guessed that those ember colored eyes would be looking at him in such a caring way, but they were. Then Katsuki asked for his number and Izuku felt himself blush.
It almost felt like Katsuki was asking him out on a date, but he knew better. The man didn't date.
Which meant he actually wanted to be Izuku's friend—and he made the first move to hang out as proper friends.
Izuku felt his smile return for the first time in two weeks.
. . .
Izuku was happier than he had been ever since he moved to Shizuoka City last month. The greenette found with the distance from Mirio he put a limit on his temptations. He stayed busy from going out to bars by filling up with art instead whenever he got that urge, just like the first night when he met Katsuki.
It was a healthier outlet and his therapist was happy to see him channeling it in a better way.
Time passed and Izuku made friends with everyone at U.A easier than he thought. He had been so excited about it and his therapist suggested he celebrate the upswing by throwing a party to finally break in his apartment.
More than eager about the idea, Izuku finished unpacking every last box until it almost felt like a home to him. It was the start of something Izuku felt excited for because after the first rocky month, he finally felt like he was settling in.
Between Ochaco texting him memes, Momo always willing to show him tips and tricks and Kirishima laughing with him over coffee breaks, Izuku came to like and adore all the lively officers at his new precinct.
But out of all of them, he admittedly admired Katsuki the most.
Originally, Izuku had thought of Katsuki to mirror Touya in a way with the harsh language and he even rode a similar motorcycle. The man had an equally foul mouth and simmering temper but the more he got to know the other officer—it was all bark and no bite.
Katsuki had a cocky air to him just like Touya, but he was diligently focused on saving lives and valued them all equally. Unlike Touya who didn't see cop lives to have value. This made a world of a difference to Izuku when he started to get to know Katsuki more, texting him randomly sometimes.
He learned Katsuki always went to bed at 10:00pm on the dot, basically working at the station until the latest he could and it made Izuku's heart churn. This man was going to give himself an aneurysm with how hard he worked and that thought alone nearly gave Izuku an aneurysm.
But when he took Katsuki out painting and saw him glowering with the purple barrette in his hair, Izuku couldn't help but find his lieutenant to be cute. Izuku's playful nature twitched at the concept.
Sure, the muscular blond was attractive and had an illegal amount of sex appeal—but seeing that soft side of him, made a nickname slip out of Izuku mouth before he could stop it: Kacchan.
The reaction he got was purely gold and only egged the naturally flirtatious greenette on more.
He had been teasing about it, but when he got home after their painting session, Izuku changed Katsuki's name in his phone. Then he received a text that he wasn't expecting.
[Lieutenant Kacchan]: Did you get home?
Izuku blinked, not guessing the other would check up on him and rolled over in his empty bed, looking at the green phone in his hand. His heart hammered in his chest lightly.
[You]: Yeah, I'm inside and in bed! How about yourself? Did you get inside okay?
[Lieutenant Kacchan]: I did, I just wanted to make sure you were safely inside. But, goodnight, Izuku. I had a lot of fun today actually; I'm looking forward to your housewarming party and other hangouts.
[You]: Thank you for checking and goodnight to you too! Glad you had fun Kacchan :)
Izuku clicked his phone shut, thinking it was the end of the convo. He couldn't help himself from admiring how thoughtful Katsuki naturally was about people's safety. Then his phone dinged one more time after a couple of minutes and Izuku felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the text.
[Lieutenant Kacchan]: :)
Izuku stared at the text and he felt his heart do something he hadn't done in years. It fluttered. Over a simple smiley facein a text message of all things. Green eyes studied the emoji over and over, until the vibrant image of Katsuki's own smiling face and warm laughter painted inside his imagination.
That night when Izuku fell asleep he didn't feel so alone for the first time in a while thinking about Katsuki.
. . .
Izuku convinced himself he woke up early to make a fresh batch of namagashi for Katsuki out of friendliness.
It was partially true.
When Izuku raised from his slumber that night after painting with Katsuki, he admittedly had a strange dream about the man. It was simple: them sitting on the beach near the waves of the ocean together in close, warm proximity. The steady push and pull of gentle waves filled their conversation as they showed off the silver and gold seashells they had collected from their day together.
It was calm with no shift in atmosphere or dark distortion. Izuku remembers how in the dream he softly smiled at Katsuki's ember colored eyes capturing the setting sun perfectly as the elder man smirked at him.
The peaceful dream almost felt like a real memory when Izuku awoke and it disorientated him.
Bright, fully awake green eyes stared dazed up at the ceiling because at that moment Izuku realized he had forgotten what it was like to dream in something other than nightmares.
So, he made the man a silent 'thank you' batch of namagashi that morning and stacked it as high as he possibly could.
He stuck his tongue out slightly as he carefully wrapped saran wrap around his favorite pink plate to give to his lieutenant. Izuku didn't deny the way his heart fluttered at the thought of witnessing Katsuki accept his heart-filled treat. The way those ember colored eyes sparked with joy when he first tasted Izuku's cooking was so nice and it made his inner Midoriya soar with pride.
Izuku admittedly wanted to see that flicker of joy in Katsuki again.
That morning he arrived at the precinct extra early to beat the lieutenant that usually came in at 9:30am on the dot. But when he got there to open up the doors, a tall graceful blonde-haired woman was standing there tapping her foot in red heels.
Izuku couldn't help but immediately admire her beauty. Her silky ponytail was perfectly combed back and not a hair was out of place. Her eyes were a romantic shade of deep violet red that Izuku had never seen before besides in paint tubes and her smooth long legs were distracting in her short lavender skirt. He eyed the way her arms were both hairless and unblemished in her short sleeve white frilly blouse.
The mystery blonde turned to him with kind eyes and tilted her head in a friendly manner. "Ah, good morning! Would you mind letting me in, please? I need to check up on someone close to me and I want to drop off lunch for them."
"Oh, a U.A officer?" Izuku asked, pulling himself out of studying her impressively smooth skin. He smiled at the beautiful woman who nodded. "That's so sweet of you to come drop off their lunch."
"Ah, yeah. They never eat properly and I always have to remind them." She sweetly smiled at him and it was only then did Izuku notice the pink tote bag she was carrying. He assumed it was full of lunch for one of his colleagues.
Izuku let her inside without much thought and instructed her to sit in the waiting room area. The happily humming greenette walked to the lunch break area and carefully placed his plate for Katsuki in the fridge and began his day full of anticipation and bubbling joy in his chest.
All the other officers flowed in early as usual, and Izuku couldn't help but constantly check the elevator every time it dinged. When the man of the hour finally arrived, Izuku had his headphones in, filing reports for Momo.
His heart did a gigantic, unexpected leap at the sight of Katsuki walking in looking a little too good in his uniform.
Izuku waved happily at him and he received a gentle, almost shy smile back. Immediately, Izuku started bouncing his leg out of nerves—but nerves for what? The greenette felt his heart clench thinking about the time they spent together, and he eyed the fridge in the break room.
The young detective quickly shifted into working fully concentrated so he could get up and give Katsuki the plate of food. He finished everything he needed to do with glee and walked over with his headphones playing a loud song. He fished out his pink plate from the mountain of food inside the communal white fridge with a small smile pressed on his lips.
However, when he approached his lieutenant's office, standing inside yelling at each other were the blonde woman and Katsuki with an extremely pissed off face.
"Excuse me?" Izuku asked confused, looking between the two, and both sets of red eyes turned to him at the intrusion. "Am I interrupting something?"
The young detective shifted on his feet when he felt the room and noted tension—extremely thick unresolved tension.
He suddenly felt like he didn't belong when Katsuki looked at him with shock as if he was caught red handed. The beautiful blonde woman stepped forward to explain herself and that's when she dropped information that made Izuku churn.
"So lovely to meet you, I'm Takeyama Yu," she smiled with her perfectly white teeth and immediately Izuku's brain clicked the pieces together from the night at the bar.
"What was their name?"
"Who?"
"The person who broke your heart. Everyone has one."
"...Her name was Takeyama."
He stared at her and slowly he remembered the small tidbit of information Kirishima gave. This was Katsuki's ex-girlfriend of four years standing there in the flesh in his office checking in on him.
Izuku grew stiff when a feeling he'd never felt slowly climbed into his chest.
The emotion was sour, bitter and unfamiliar. It only grew stronger when the graceful blonde continued to speak. She turned to Katsuki with shimmering violet-red eyes full of care and pulled out a plastic container stuffed with the same exact thing that was in Izuku's hand.
"I brought you your favorite because I just know you're not taking care of yourself," she had said in a matter of fact tone. Green eyes watched as she shoved the container into Katsuki's hands, and how the blond man spluttered but didn't reject it.
Izuku took that split second to assess both past lovers side by side.
He noted how well they complimented each other. They looked good together and he couldn't help but realize that this gorgeous, unscarred woman was the person Katsuki had been in love with for four years. Then he decided to never again after their relationship ended.
Izuku glanced down to his bandaged left hand and felt out of place.
Sourness filled his chest and the fuming young detective quickly took his leave, turning out of the small office with a racing mind. He rushed out back to his desk and put the plate down feeling outrageously silly. He couldn't get the image of the ex-lovers out of his head and Izuku began comparing himself to Takeyama for reasons he wasn't sure of.
She was beautiful, tall, and unblemished. She was able to wear short sleeves and show off her legs and arms—something Izuku hadn't been able to do without prying eyes whispering about his disfigured skin.
Takeyama was the exact opposite of what Izuku thought himself to be and it stirred an ugly feeling of self-consciousness.
Then he overheard the two agree to go to dinner together and everything in Izuku turned greener than his hair. He stared hard at the forgotten plate of namagashi on his desk, refusing to look at Katsuki for the rest of the day because his heart kept hammering.
The young detective tried to ignore what just happened and didn't bother to analyze why seeing Katsuki with his ex of all people chipped away at his happy mood. He couldn't place his finger on it but he didn't like it.
Not a single damn bit.
. . .
By the time he arrived back at his apartment, Izuku had tried to shake off the sour mood as best as possible but there was a damper in his sunshine. He tried his best to just focus on the housewarming happening in a couple of hours, but then something happened that caused a chill to run up his spine.
He walked up to his door with an arm full of groceries but as he approached the very last thing he ever wanted taunted him.
Sitting in front of his apartment door for the first time in nearly a month and half was a red rose with a silk white ribbon attached to it.
A ghostly expression raptured Izuku's face and he quickly looked over his shoulder out of fear. He gripped the brown paper bags full of food in his hand terrified because this only added to his growing suspicions that the roses were linked with the Shigarakis.
His terror and fear slammed back into him full force as he read the lovesick poem attached to the rose. The romantic font on the note was hauntingly perfect and Izuku quickly rushed inside to lock his door.
He gripped his hair when he realized he had been followed from Yaizu to Shizuoka City by whoever was sending them.
"Shit," Izuku whispered, face twisting in pain as he slumped against his door.
His eyes began to sting the longer he looked at the red rose and he started to softly cry. He was never going to be free of this—and if it was the Shigarakis why today? Why did they decide today to drop off a rose? Izuku immediately considered calling Toshinori but stopped as he looked at the party food in his hand.
All he wanted was a normal life, something he hadn't had in nearly four years.
He collected himself slowly and decided he would inform Toshinori of the rose tomorrow. So, Izuku did just that. He put the food away with trembling hands and tossed the rose onto his green sheets and closed his bedroom door. Izuku decided he was going to have fun tonight around all the different officers and he wasn't going to let a simple rose rob him of happiness.
But Izuku didn't expect himself to have exactly as much fun as he did.
He found himself willingly consuming copious amounts of burning liquor to help him forget about his anxiety and let lose all the way. Laughing with all the other officers and playing board games was the most fun Izuku had in ages—and it seemed like it was the same for Katsuki.
Izuku still couldn't hold in the green feeling he was oozing however when he looked at Katsuki and thought about how he was going to dinner with his long-term ex.
So, he drank more alcohol to ignore the churning inside of him—which turned out to be a mistake.
He found himself grinding against Katsuki in a nightclub and more surprisingly, a drunk Katsuki grinding right back with the thickest hard on Izuku had ever felt against his body.
The greenette remembered groaning at the feeling of the thick shaft rocking forcefully against his backside suggestively and how the lieutenant's large hands caressed his stomach. The calloused fingertip left behind what felt like tiny firecrackers of need. He wanted Katsuki's hands to sink deeper until they breached his hem line and he wanted them to keep going until they were wrapped around his own pulsing erection.
"Would you let me fuck you during sparing, Izuku?" The husky voice whispered, dripping in sin.
Izuku's deep inner need stroked awake again as he nodded hesitantly and got completely swept away with the feeling. Everywhere around him was Katsuki—caressing him—touching him—pressing against him and it felt so good.
"Y-Yeah, I would," he replied, his hazy alcohol-filled mind fed him an image of Katsuki between his legs dominating him fully.
He pushed back desperately against Katsuki's hard-on, loving the tension and feeling of the thick shaft sliding between his clothed cheeks. Wanting more, Izuku slowly rolled his hips until he heard a soft tipsy "fuck" escape past Katsuki lips.
Izuku almost screamed out in the middle of the club. Yes—fuck was the right idea. He wanted nothing more than the blond to take him in the bathroom—hell, wouldn't be the first time he had sex in a nightclub and right now, he was willing to do anything in order to get a handful of that chiseled chest.
His alcohol clouded mind decided he wanted to Katsuki to fuck him—no. He was going to make Katsuki fuck him within a near inch of his life once he got done with him.
He was going to tie that man down and ride his fat cock with everything he had then give him head mind-blowing enough that he'd never even consider going on a damn date with Takeyama again. Izuku knew once Katsuki figured out what his tongue could do there would be no competition.
But when they got back to his apartment, all the lust cleared. Izuku's loneliness was triggered by the melody that reminded him of his mother and his drunk self-hugged Katsuki tighter.
He wanted Katsuki to stay with him. He didn't want the kind blond to leave and he didn't even want to deal with the rose that was sitting in his bedroom. He especially didn't want Katsuki to go out to dinner with his ex because that would mean—
Izuku's drunken thoughts clicked into place and out slipped the very thing he had been denying to his therapist for so long.
"Please stay...I like you a lot, Kacchan." His tipsy hands clutched tightly onto Katsuki's black dress shirt, trying to pull the man into his bed—not even for sex. Just to be. He wanted Katsuki to stay with him and just lay next to his side.
But when he looked longingly into the embers dancing in Katsuki's eyes, they looked saddened by the confession.
"...That's exactly the reason I can't stay."
Izuku's heart hurt hearing those words as Katsuki carefully tucked him into his lonely bed.
. . .
"I-I messed up," he whispered to his therapist on Saturday morning. Izuku hung his head down low with an excruciating hangover, his curly bangs casting a shadow over his face. "I accidentally told him that I liked him when I got drunk and he rejected me again."
"Do you?" She asked with a smile, holding the clipboard. "You said earlier you had felt jealousy when his ex-girlfriend came to town. I don't think you would feel that way unless you liked him to some degree."
Worried green eyes looked down at the plain beige carpet beneath his feet sadly. He didn't say anything, still struggling to accept the fact that he was more than jealous of Takeyama going out with Katsuki for dinner and how he finally after years just admitted out loud to liking someone.
"Izuku, there's nothing wrong with having a harmless crush," she reassured. "It's a good thing. It shows you're moving past the death of your first love, which means you're growing and healing. I think having a crush on Katsuki might be good for you."
But all the terrible memories of the last time he loved someone flooded in and he felt his heart hurt to the point he wanted to cry.
"I'm scared," he whispered, looking down at the white bandages on his hand.
"Of what?" She tilted her head to stare at him with understanding.
"...What if we get close and I lose him too?"
. . .
Izuku accepted his emotions on Katsuki and buried them deep. Katsuki didn't even like him like that—they were just drunk...right? Everyone gets more or less horny when they're drunk and Katsuki was just a man after all.
So Izuku pushed it down and couldn't bring himself to text Katsuki all weekend.
He felt saddened that Katsuki hadn't texted him either, but it was fine. He ignored the disappointed feeling and chalked it up to such: he had a crush on his lieutenant, and he had to ignore it.
Katsuki just wanted to be friends. If he wanted to sleep with Izuku like all the men before him, he had the perfect window of opportunity on Friday, but he didn't take it. Instead he made it clear the reason he couldn't be around Izuku was because he knew of his crush.
After his therapy session he informed Toshinori of the roses, and the blond-haired captain was mortified to see the flower in Izuku's hands.
They ran it for DNA and, once again, it came up negative for anything. It was at that moment Izuku fully accepted how potentially obsessed his stalker was.
"This might not be the Shigarakis, Izuku," Toshinori whispered. "This poem. It seems like someone has an unhealthy infatuation with you."
"So they followed me to a new city?" Izuku let out an uneven huff at the thought. "I'm not worth moving to a whole new city for."
"You wouldn't be the first person with an obsessive stalker," Toshinori informed sadly. "I've worked in the force long enough to know some people can get fixated on someone for so long to the point their stalking becomes a hobby."
Izuku sighed as he leaned against the wall and stared sullenly at the rose. Toshinori was right. He was no exception—this happened frequently enough.
"One case I had was a woman whose abusive ex-fiancé followed her around for years," Toshinori exasperated. "We regrettably couldn't figure out a way to arrest him quick enough and the man ended up killing her for falling in love with a guy that he hated. His so-called love quickly changed to jealousy and then soured to that old 'if I can't have you then no one can either' ideal."
"Well, most cases of domestic abuse like that always unfortunately end with the victim dying." Izuku paused as he thought about Kai's mother then thought about Touya's hard hits to his face. "But you don't have to worry about any exes trying to hurt me. My only one is dead."
Between accidentally confessing to Katsuki and now the return of the roses, Izuku didn't know if this could get more complicated. He was cursed. Kami was punishing him for building that bomb and giving it to a drug lord.
Izuku felt like he earned every lick of his misery.
But he wasn't anticipating the mention of the very bomb he birthed to stroll right back in his life in relation to the two arson crimes committed so far.
A fireman by the name of Shinsou Hitoshi came to tell them about a very specific bomb that left no trace that had been previously tied back to All For One. He informed them that he worked in vice dealing with the drug lord Yotsubashi and knew of the bomb through his feud with All For One.
Izuku immediately felt sick at the thought. Then he felt even more sick to learn the arsonist was trying to trade somethingin order to get a police officer to burn alive. They all could theorize it was the bomb blueprints.
He sat silently, eyeing Toshinori and wanting to tell him about his creation but he carefully heeded the captain's heavy warning about not wanting to know more info that could incriminate Izuku.
Instead, the young detective sat still. He bit his lip when he came close to vomiting at the thought that All For One possibly distributed his original sketches. Now, this mystery arsonist was using his invention to terrorize Katsuki and Shizuoka City. His mind was cruel and painted the picture of various criminals being given the blueprints and he imagined hell fires all over Japan, wreaking havoc.
The meeting ended and once again, Katsuki's gentle nature shone through as they were leaving out. There was a light pull on his elbow that surprised him but when he turned around, he saw nothing but concern and care.
"Are you okay?" Katsuki asked him and Izuku felt his heart flicker with a strange want—a want he'd only felt with Touya.
It was a want to just be around him. Not sexual or purely lust driven. Sure, sexual want was there, but it flickered low and bright like embers to a left-over fire. However, the larger flame in Izuku's chest just wanted Katsuki around. Just simply, around.
He pushed off the subject about the fires, unable to explain the situation with Toshinori's warning about keeping quiet.
But that didn't stop him from inviting Katsuki out to a museum with him. Izuku wanted a repeat of the painting day together or even the night Katsuki accidentally fell asleep at his house.
"What are you doing Thursday? Are you still up for a day out after work?" Izuku nervously asked, putting his neck out again for what reason? He didn't even know. "There's this museum exhibit opening that I was going to go to. I think you might like it."
"I have plans after work on Thursday," Katsuki said in a hush manner as if he was almost ashamed. Izuku felt a low pang in his heart and took a good guess.
"...Takeyama?"
"Er, yeah." Ruby red eyes skirted off to the side and Izuku put on his fake smile to hide his jealousy.
. . .
The week passed by with Izuku having his itch of an urge come back in full swing. The incinerator was being used by the arsonist, the roses had started up again and on top of that Katsuki was gearing up to get ready to (basically) go on a date with his beautiful, unblemished ex-girlfriend.
Izuku was stressed, lonely, and tired.
On Wednesday he put his flirtatious clothing on, fully ready to give into his addiction because another red rose came to his door. He had another nightmare about thorns wrapping around his neck after seeing it but stopped himself the second he nearly stepped foot in the closest bar.
The greenette assumed he must've looked downright insane as he paced backwards on the sidewalk several times in the dense crowd. He turned on his heel mumbling about how he didn't need sex to feel better. Then he would turn right back around when a tiny voice inside his head that nearly sounded like Mirio counter whispered, 'yes you do, you always do.'
He was playing extreme mental ping pong with himself and it was going to drive him insane.
The flustered young adult finally put the full stop on himself when he thought about Katsuki. He wasn't sure why, but that seemed to do the trick when he imagined the visual of Katsuki painting with him.
Quickly, before he could change his mind, the artist paced to the nearest art shop instead to put a handle on his brain. He noticed some looks he got from people because he basically was wearing skintight clothing that looked as if it was painted on.
He looked down at his purchase of paint tubes and decided on just painting vigorously until his brain stopped.
. . .
By the time Thursday came, Izuku could tell Katsuki was clearly uneasy. The handsome blond's head was occupied with thoughts of his ex and it made Izuku swirl unhappily. But he pushed it down and went to the museum by himself and sketched for a while before going back home.
The green haired man couldn't help but feel bitter at the thought Katsuki was out with Takeyama, having dinner instead of going to the museum with him.
While inside one of the more romantic exhibits, he felt saddened as he watched a happy couple pass him in the museum holding hands while pointing at the paintings. There was an aura glowing around them that Izuku could particularly see and it was blinding.
Like a vibrant daydream, he pictured himself and Touya holding hands happily but slowly the vision melted into him and Katsuki with his beautiful smile.
It made his heart flip with both momentary confusion and deep want at what the joyful couple had.
Eventually Izuku walked back home alone in the summer night.
He pensively studied all the families and happy people of Shizuoka with longing emerald irises. Izuku couldn't help but feel like an outsider to their large city and missed his beloved Yaizu. His mind wandered like a drifter lost at sea as he began to ponder about Katsuki and slowly wondered if the man was doing alright.
His thoughts then shifted into thinking about if his lieutenant would bring a lunch for tomorrow and figured maybe not. Katsuki barely packed a lunch and knowing him he wasn't going to start now.
When Izuku arrived home, he began cooking with Katsuki clouding his mind and the new fact that he had to adjust to having a budding crush on his commander. The greenette picked out the ingredients he needed to cook tantanmen, which he admittedly had bought more frequently since knowing Katsuki.
The lonely detective quickly took a picture of it and sent it to Katsuki, fully not expecting a response back but the reply was as fast as lightning.
It nearly gave Izuku whiplash but not as much whiplash as Katsuki, in the flesh, showing up on his doorstep forty minutes later.
"Let me in, nerd," the handsome man smirked at him, holding up a plastic bag full of goodies.
Izuku felt his heart beat ten times faster as his stagnant loneliness dissolved steadily with every word Katsuki spoke to him that night. Then finally it was washed clean away when they fell asleep on the couch intertwined. Izuku laid on top of Katsuki's chest with the blond's arms wrapped securely around his waist keeping him snuggly fit.
Izuku didn't say anything and allowed himself to indulge in the comforting contact and noted how Katsuki squeezed him almost lovingly every now and then. Slowly, Izuku counted the hum of Katsuki's beating heart until he fell asleep.
We fit together well, he thought privately before he sank into a peaceful sleep.
. . .
The next dream Izuku had about Katsuki was of them on the beach again. But instead of sitting on the shoreline, Katsuki was beckoning for him to come in the water with a tauntingly beautiful smirk.
"C'mon, Deku," the raspy voice called. "Don't be scared. I won't let you drown."
Izuku stood on the sand looking at Katsuki who was standing knee high in the water with his pants rolled up. The gentle waves were calm as Katsuki held out his hand for him to take. Gradually, Izuku felt his dream self-trust the blond as he walked out into the water with little fear. He took Katsuki's hand in his and felt his heart beat fast when the blond took the other.
Dream Katsuki intertwined their fingers and slowly leaned down to his height with swirling red eyes that drew Izuku in more and more.
"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Dream Katsuki smirked.
The rest of Izuku's weekend after that dream was as steady as tender waves in the ocean. Everywhere he went after Katsuki's visit reminded him of the blond and soon Izuku fully accepted his crush. He saw a tiny blond dog and pictured Katsuki or saw an ice-cream shop and imagined Katsuki and him going there together.
It made him smile happily as he realized all his dark thoughts were washed away by just thinking of Katsuki. His therapist was right—liking someone was a good thing for him.
Even when Touya's birthday came on Saturday, Izuku bought a cake like usual to celebrate but it didn't feel as sad. He lit the candle and thought of his first love with bitter sweetness that was healing.
But quickly, like most things in his life, it got turned around.
Todoroki Enji came to the precinct to be debriefed that Monday and Izuku felt himself flare with anger looking at the man who abused Touya.
The young detective's temper spiked in hatred as he thought about the past and all the unhappy moments between him and Touya that were rooted inside the redhead because of Enji.
Then it didn't help that he realized Touya was the spitting image of the man.
He was almost surprised Touya never dyed his hair out of spite. The bubbling feeling of rage threatened to almost erupt in Izuku, but he pushed it down for the sake of professionalism.
Then Shouto and Enji got into an argument in front of the entire precinct.
"I don't care about what happened to him," Enji had spat out. "He dug his own grave." The cruel words rattled Izuku's brain and his hands stopped typing when an image of Touya's headstone slammed into his brain.
Izuku cursed mentally at the unwanted visual of the white and red roses sitting peacefully on the lonely grave. He tried to keep typing but the two Todorokis were catching fire quicker than his body could handle.
"You should care. Considering he wouldn't be dead if you hadn't kicked him out," Shouto spat and Izuku pictured Touya pushing him safely in the closet and locking it. "He was on the streets alone and vulnerable because of you."
Izuku flashed back to the homeless shelter and the depressed look in deep blue eyes.
Stop. Stop it. Stop—
Izuku squeezed his eyes shut when he felt his heart begin to beat loudly at the memories of Makinohara coming back full force without warning.
He wearily glanced at the raging Enji and saw a raging Touya and felt sick when he felt that unforgiving fist against his face. Then in full contradiction, the phantom lingering of Touya's hand clutching his and the redhead's last 'I love you' clouded his brain.
The conversation only got worse as the Todorokis' family drama spilled all over the entire room. Izuku felt as though he was suddenly motion sick from how quickly the old memories were cramming into his brain at such a fast pace.
Unable to stomach it anymore, Izuku abruptly stood up but he didn't give a single care about the worried eyes following him. Like on an uneasy ship, Izuku's insides twisted as if he was going to vomit at the visual of Touya covered in blood flashing in his head.
He rushed past Katsuki to the bathroom before he spilled his lunch all over the floor.
"...Midoriya?" He heard Katsuki's concerned voice call out for him, but his feet couldn't stop.
He quickly pushed open the door of the bathroom when his throat began constricting and he felt the smog of Makinohara begin to choke him all over again. He rushed to lean against the sink when his knees buckled and felt weak.
Damnit, he cursed himself. My body is shutting down again—
"Are you okay?" Katsuki's deep voice floated to his ears and Izuku couldn't even recall hearing the elder man chase after him. The greenette took several deep gulps of air to calm himself down.
"Yeah, I'm fine," was the automatic reply with the wave of his hand. But he could feel those fire like eyes on him, not budging.
"You don't have to lie to me, you're clearly not fine," Katsuki said in a sharp tone. "I'm your commanding officer. It's my job to make sure everyone is okay on the squad and can operate effectively. So, I need to know if you're okay so you can do your job or not, Midoriya."
Right. His job.
Izuku sighed and closed his eyes, forcefully pulling himself down from his cloud of anxiety. He recollected his scattered thoughts and did his best to sew himself together as Katsuki asked him about Enji. He politely kept his explanation short, not wanting to explain Touya to the man he just accepted having a crush on.
There was just too much history.
He pictured Touya going into the abandoned house and again when his blue eyes were ignited with brimstone as he struck him. Izuku flickered his eyes downwards. There was no way he could explain all that to Katsuki—explain why he stayed.
"You look like you could use some air. How about we go on patrol for a little while?"
Izuku paused and gazed up towards Katsuki surprised.
"Really?" The blond rarely ever let anyone in the squad stray off the schedule, but the way Katsuki was looking at him was new. It was soft and held a deeper understanding than just camaraderie.
"Yeah, dork. Really. Go get suited up," Katsuki chuckled, and politely ignored his near panic-attack.
Izuku reinforced to himself he was misreading the expression, so he took the saving grace for what it was. A chance to catch some fresh away from the two Todorokis in the station. He needed space from that bloodline so very much.
Katsuki took him on patrol around the city and Izuku was more than thankful.
The young officer felt a smile slip onto his lips looking at the elder man beside him. He noted how nice the moment was with just the two of them riding in a car and for the first time Izuku felt like he belonged in Shizuoka City.
He leaned his head back and let the summer breeze blow against his skin in the peaceful car. Katsuki kept checking on him and asking about his breathing periodically. Izuku felt bad for hindering the blond's schedule and possibly making him go so far out of his way for him.
He heard Katsuki's laugh again and watched the way the caring red eyes assessed him dearly. Izuku swore up and down that he imagined it but the longer he stayed looking into precious ruby tinted eyes, he saw a look of something more than care inside of them.
Izuku felt his heart skip a beat.
"Should I tell you I need a break even if it comes down to things that...make me weak? Like pyrophobia and agoraphobia?" He whispered when Katsuki reassured him that he wasn't asking too much for going on patrol.
"Look, if I can make an exception to go out of my way for Denki and make sure that he leaves work on Thursdays an extra two hours early for his damn secret band practice, I can go out of my way to go on patrol whenever you need space from the precinct. Accommodations don't make you fucking weak. Got it?"
Accommodations don't make you weak.
It was something Izuku never knew he had to hear, but it felt like Katsuki had put an icepack over a long-term burn that was still searing Izuku's skin.
He's so thoughtful. He complimented privately while looking at Katsuki's kind ember colored eyes. Izuku felt his crush swell and his face grew heavy in heat when he realized he wanted to lean in.
He wanted to kiss Katsuki.
Like magnets, his hand moved on its own next to Katsuki's. He felt himself blush while looking down because he had no clue what he was doing and why he felt the need to express his thoughts but—
"Katsuki," he whispered with a heated face. "A-About what I said last Friday...when I said I liked you…" A lump lodged in Izuku's throat as he worked up the courage to keep going.
Red eyes flickered up to him with a pink blush spread across Katsuki's face, but in a split second, those same red eyes were widening with fear. Katsuki lurched forward for him and Izuku tried to turn around to see what had frightened the blond so much—but it was too late.
"IZUKU—"
Izuku's world spun out of control at the violent impact of a steel vehicle ramming into his side of the squad car. The young detective was launched forward and his head snapped to hit the dashboard, nearly knocking him out. Everything progressed too quickly after that when Izuku's feet became rooted by fear.
The arsonist was there, looking like a hungry wolf in a gas mask and swinging a crowbar.
"Hey there, lieutenant. We're here to pick up something."
He cut Izuku loose from the jammed seat belt and the greenette could do nothing but hopelessly cry out for Katsuki. Izuku yelled as he was forcefully dragged by the roots of his hair away from the bleeding blond.
Panic melted into his heart as he tried his best to get away, but the arsonist was stronger—an unnaturally type of strong. Along with that, this time he bought two more lackeys with him to get the job done.
Unnerving alarm slammed into Izuku's core at the sound of a gunshot and when he turned, he saw Katsuki falling down to the cold ground with a scream.
No, no, no, no—not him too—
Izuku pushed the man off of him with all his strength and scrambled to get to the injured officer desperately.
"Katsu—AH!" Izuku's actions were forcefully halted as he let out a shriek higher than he knew his voice could go. He stumbled at a large, sharp needle being stabbed through the back of his neck unsuspectedly as he was roughly handled by the tall man in all black.
Instantaneously, his vision swirled.
He saw double vision of both Katsuki and Touya bleeding out on the ground and felt himself nearly break down. The trauma victim slowly started to unravel when his movements got weaker and weaker and the haunting smell of gasoline filled the air.
They're going to start a fire—
He was handled like a rag doll when his body began to shut down, but this time Izuku couldn't pull himself back up. He helplessly watched Katsuki bleed on the concrete through blurry eyes and feared for where he was being taken.
Two more gunshots rang out and Izuku heard the mystery henchman carrying him let out an ear bleeding yell. He went toppling onto the pavement quickly and the sharp rocks dug into his skin. Izuku weakly called out for Katsuki as he struggled on the ground with the edges of his vision fading out to black.
Izuku blinked and Katsuki was above him with a fierce face of determination telling him he was going to be okay. In one swoop, the strong lieutenant picked him up bridal-style and rushed him away from the almost-kidnappers. Izuku clung on desperately to Katsuki's uniform, the smell of gasoline growing stronger.
Then, like one of his many nightmares, the squad car went up in horrid flames directly next to them. Katsuki buried Izuku's head into his uniform but the green-eyed man was slipping under. He could feel the unwanted heat of the flames against his skin and the drug in his system mix like a triggering cocktail of pain.
Izuku no longer was in Shizuoka City, but Makinohara and the flames were eating away at his flesh again. Those hands made of fire were dragging him under as his vision faded more. His clutching onto Katsuki got tighter.
"You're okay. I got you," Katsuki's solid voice pulled him back momentarily. Izuku focused on the sound of Katsuki's vocals to lead him out of the nightmare. Steadily, the illusion of Makinohara's inferno was pushed back with the sound and vision of Katsuki above him. "I got you, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured and Izuku wanted so desperately to believe it as Katsuki held him.
He looked up one last time and saw Katsuki's bleeding, worried face mouthing words he could no longer hear.
Distress took over Izuku's body when his vision went black and his body fell limp like a broken doll. But instead of visions of flames, his head was filled with the sound of Katsuki's voice telling him he wasn't alone.
. . .
When Izuku was trapped by darkness he had his third dream of Katsuki.
He was standing on the beach again, but this time when he turned to his right, he saw a forest that looked like Kuromata in flames.
The flames were bright orange, threatening and consumed everything in their path like uncontrollable wildfire. Standing in the front of them was Touya smiling with eyes the color of the ocean. Like the shadow of the past, the redhead reached his hand out for Izuku to join him in the flames.
Then he turned his green eyes to the left, and there he saw Katsuki wading waist deep in water, looking off to the distance calmly watching the waves. Dream Katsuki looked at him out of the corner of his eyes and turned to face him with a smile and held his hand out with eyes the color of the fire.
Izuku stood in between, scared of the deepness of the water, but more afraid of the burning flames and the dark, power hungry look enrapturing Touya's face suddenly.
He took Katsuki's steady hand without hesitation and waded deeper into his ocean.
A handsome smirk graced Katsuki's face.
"I told you I wasn't going anywhere."
. . .
Izuku was moved into Toshinori's guest bedroom after that.
The U.A officers chalked up his almost kidnapping to be related to The Cremator's deep want to burn a cop alive. Toshinori informed him that he was not to leave the house without a buddy or safely walking in the area that was being heavily guarded by other officers. Much like Aizawa when he was originally kidnapped.
Izuku didn't mind it after that experience, but his mind kept replaying the strange dream he had while in the drug-induced sleep.
He had chosen Katsuki without fear and the flames in the dream dissipated into embers, floating away.
Izuku had forgotten what it was like to dream peacefully, yet here he was, having the strangest dreams of one person and one person only.
When all the officers he was friends with came over to Toshinori to wish him well, they all brought cards and flowers. But he was most surprised to see Katsuki fiddling with a small bouquet of emerald roses and a card that read 'Get Well Soon'.
"They're green," Izuku laughed as he took the bundle of flowers. "I've never gotten green roses before." The blond blushed and looked away and kicked lightly at the carpet beneath his feet.
"They reminded me of your, er, hair and eyes," the lieutenant mumbled without looking at him. "Thought you might like them to make this guest bedroom feel a little more homely."
"I do. I like them a lot. Thank you so much, Kacchan." Despite the literal whiplash in his neck, Izuku felt happy looking at the green flowers in his hand.
He leaned in for a warm embrace and discreetly thanked Katsuki for saving him with a double meaning to the words.
. . .
The days following the accident, Toshinori insisted that both him and Katsuki take three weeks off work, which Izuku was more than happy to do. His neck was stiff, and his muscles were still sore from fighting off two large men.
Izuku sighed heavily as he sat alone in Toshinori's house that Saturday after the incident.
His green eyes studied baby photos of Mirio everywhere along with old photographs of Mirio's mother who passed away during childbirth. He saw an old Polaroid of his father and Toshinori together back in their youth. Izuku smiled at one goofy photo of them getting their detective badges together and fondly studied another of Toshinori at his parent's wedding eating cake with them happily.
Later that Monday, Izuku got a call from Kirishima that he wasn't expecting and picked up the phone eagerly after being alone for so long all weekend.
"Hi! So nice to hear from you Kirishima," He answered happily, and he could hear a friendly chuckle on the other end with Mina yelling 'hello' in the background.
"Nice to hear from you too, green bean!" Kirishima replied and Izuku could picture the large grin on his face. "Are you getting enough rest after that crazy shit?"
"Ah, trying my best," Izuku hummed and scratched behind his head sheepishly. "Toshinori has been pretty locked down over here, so I'm just trying my best to relax." There was a small pause in silence before Izuku decided to ask about the one person always on his mind. "...Have you heard from Kacc—I-I mean Bakugou at all? I haven't, um, heard from him and I was just wondering if he was okay."
"That hard-headed blond actually tried to show up for work on Friday despite the captain's orders," Kirishima grumbled and Izuku's eyes went wide. Holy sh— "I know, dude is a full out workaholic but I also think he might just be a little lonely right now. Maybe you could stop by his place for a bit?"
Izuku perked up at the idea and nervously played with the hems of his sleep shirt. "O-Oh! Sure! That actually sounds like a good plan. Do you have his address?" He immediately thought about the safest route to a grocery store so he could pick up some of Katsuki's favorites.
"Oh yeah, for sure!" Kirishima chuckled slowly as Izuku gathered a pen and paper. "Now, before you go, I have very specific instructions for you. It's an inside joke of sorts between all of us at the station."
Izuku wrote down Katsuki's address and listened diligently to what Kirishima asked of him. But when the redhead finished, Izuku couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the request.
What in the world was a care package?
. . .
By the time Izuku arrived at Katsuki's apartment, he was blown away by how downright beautiful the luxury loft was.
Emerald eyes sparkled looking at the lavish view of downtown, and all the leather couches and loveseats decorating it. He admired the black spiral staircase leading to the upstairs of the loft and the marble counters in the pristine—obviously underused—kitchen.
One small detail however that surprised Izuku the most was the painting of the red rose he had done from a while ago hanging up in the dining room. It was the only real piece of art Katsuki had hanging up on the walls. No family portraits or anything else to show signs of love and life.
Izuku couldn't figure out the reason why Katsuki rarely stayed in this apartment. Why work at the station when his home looked like this?
He began cooking for the blond and he could immediately feel a wave of thankfulness rolling off the man, and it took everything in Izuku not to blush whenever they caught eye contact. There was something heated in the way Katsuki stared at him the first day.
He was looking at Izuku as if he belonged there, in his apartment.
A gentle warm expression carried across his lips and Izuku wasn't anticipating the open invitation to come back—but the blond welcomed him with a pink blush on his face.
Izuku remembered how nervous he was about it, but also how eager he was to spend more time with Katsuki.
They spent the next two weeks like that and Izuku felt so full of happiness every night he went back to Toshinori's. Not a single nightmare graced his mind and he soon started to make a long list of things to do while at Katsuki's as he went over in the early morning and didn't bother leaving until Toshinori beckoned him to come back before curfew.
Izuku thought it was the beginnings of a beautiful friendship, because Katsuki was being so kind. He always asked Izuku questions, went even out of his way to memorize a katsudon recipe.
Izuku didn't tell him—but the blond nearly made it to be the same as his mother's.
"Here, taste this. Did I get the seasoning right?" Katsuki asked, embers flickering in his eyes as he held up the spoon for Izuku to taste. Izuku opened his mouth hesitantly but allowed Katsuki to feed him. They made brief eye contact and Izuku felt something warm underneath his collar at the intimacy of the action.
The flavors flooded his taste buds and green eyes sparked with life.
"It's perfect," he declared with a shy smile and Katsuki broke out into a confident smirk.
"Fuck yeah, another thing off my check list."
Izuku laughed in harmony with Katsuki and he knew in his heart he could get used to this. Time with Katsuki just blended together without effort and he had no doubt they could be best friends.
But he should have known better that his self-control would completely slip the day of the kiss cam.
"M-Maybe a quick kiss wouldn't hurt," Izuku said out loud more to himself when the crowd wouldn't stop.
The prospect of kissing Katsuki hung in the air and Izuku suddenly was tempted with eyes fully blown. He needed the taste of the sweet water lips against his again and after spending two straight weeks with the man, he undeniably felt his crush grow stronger.
He had no doubts Katsuki would probably reject him again afterwards, so he allowed himself a little taste of the lips he craved when they pushed against his. They crashed into each other and the cheering of the crowd drowned away at the feeling of Katsuki's mouth returning to his.
Izuku felt himself give in quicker to his want for Katsuki than he expected. He found himself pulled like a magnet to push forward and shyly kiss the man just a little bit—a little kiss couldn't hurt—
Then Katsuki kissed him back slowly and Izuku lost any and all self-control he had left.
Their lips moved hungrily and Izuku's body grew so uncomfortably warm. His toes curled in his sneakers when Katsuki fully took control and Izuku completely forgot where he was as he was swept away underneath Katsuki's tidal wave.
They went back to the apartment, eyes dancing so desperately around each other and Izuku felt a dangerous shift in the air. He was surprised that Katsuki kissed him back, but he was even more surprised by the fact Katsuki kept staring at him.
And it wasn't a normal, regular stare—no. It was the same one Katsuki had given him at the bar. During training. While sitting on his couch. At the nightclub.
It was a look of extreme deep sexual need and contradicted what Izuku had thought early about Katsuki not wanting him. The burning gaze of yearning was written across those handsome features so plainly. Their tension for the rest of the day was thick and full of all the unspoken words between them since they met.
Red eyes were ignited with embers that scorched through his soul the longer Katsuki spent assessing him up and down, eyes lingering on Izuku's backside without shame. Tension coiled tightly in Izuku's body and snapped fiercely when Katsuki whispered a single sentence that tipped them both over the edge.
"I've been questioning what really is for the best recently," the blond said truthfully looking at his door, ready to let Izuku inside. "Haven't you?"
"Yeah, I have. But...I've never had good self-control, Katsuki," Izuku whispered. An image of himself pinning Katsuki down with his legs and kissing him fiercely flashed in his mind.
Katsuki clicked his tongue and those fire eyes burned straight through Izuku's resolve.
"...I don't think I'm necessarily asking you to have self-control right now."
And just like that, Izuku was gone.
He was swept away with Katsuki and it was everything he imagined it to be. Strong, needy hands were everywhere as they desperately worked against each other. Izuku felt that rush of intoxicating euphoria spill over into his core because it felt like they should've done this ages ago.
Katsuki picked him up effortlessly and they crash landed onto the black couch. Izuku couldn't stop himself from smiling and letting out a short whine as he finally got an eye full of Katsuki's bare chest. The visual shot heat straight down to his straining cock and Izuku curled his toes at the tantalizing feeling.
The man was a perfectly sculpted Adonis and Izuku had never in his life felt this much of a need to be with someone before—not on this level.
Right as he felt everything falling together, it all fell apart at the same time.
"I can't wait to see this beautiful fucking body of yours," Katsuki's raspy voice whispered into their desperate kiss. Izuku paused for the split second as his palms were pressed against Katsuki's perfectly molded chest.
Beautiful? It was a word he hadn't associated with himself in years.
"Really fucking beautiful—you're so damn gorgeous, Izuku. Now let's get you out of these damn clothes," Katsuki responded and Izuku didn't notice he had said it out loud. The burn victim took a momentary pause and shook himself out of the strange feeling the word had called upon inside of him.
But the second his hands reached to pull off his own shirt, his brain fed him a vision of Takeyama's unblemished skin. Then it followed up with all the countless rejections he'd received from men who were repulsed by his scarred body.
Izuku paused.
His mind imagined Katsuki seeing his body and he imagined the blond being shocked—or confused—or worse: disgusted.
Lust quickly drained out of his body at the thought because Izuku had never considered the possibility of ever getting this far with the handsome blond after so many rejections—but what if he turned him down again? Much less about his own body like so many nameless men before him?
He painted the scene in his head: Katsuki taking off his clothes, stopping, assessing the ugly discolored skin on his left side and all the various scars. The scar from Himiko, the ones from Touya, and the ones from Makinohara. Scars he couldn't explain. He imagined the burning fire of want dying in those red eyes and being left with nothing but repulsion.
That thought alone made Izuku petrified.
Katsuki was the first person in years that he felt something for—but what if he did reject him? What if he saw how damaged he actually was? Then Izuku would have to spend the rest of his time at U.A feeling ugly and brokenhearted over the scathing truth that Katsuki truly didn't want him and never would.
He panicked.
He panicked himself straight out of Katsuki's door but not before accidentally letting all his fears, insecurities, and the fact that he felt so strongly for Katsuki spill out of his mouth.
Izuku never ran faster in his life when his brain kept telling him how much of a mistake he had just made.
. . .
The burn victim convinced himself to stay away from Katsuki after that. He shamefully didn't tell his therapist about his moment of weakness—or whatever it was. But he felt embarrassed and fragile.
Post break down, Izuku realized he exposed himself in a completely different way to Katsuki: he exposed his heart along with all the damaged pieces of it. Knowing his insecurities and fears were laid bare for the blond he felt so strongly for easily made Izuku feel queasy.
It was as if he was on a sinking ship that was drowning in his overgrown thoughts and right when Izuku thought he was alone—Katsuki reached out his hand to pull him out of his negative thoughts.
Again, and again and again.
Katsuki reached out for him the entire time during the bachelor party and Izuku was floored by the amount of kindness he was shown. It made his heart swell at the care he was treated with and how diligently Katsuki seemed to be into making sure he was smiling.
Izuku had forgotten what that felt like—to have another care so deeply about his needs.
When Katsuki recited poetry, it made Izuku's heart flip. When he danced with him in the middle of the street, he felt himself swoon. Even when Katsuki stepped in and saved the strip tease, Izuku blushed furiously, but more importantly he was taken back that even with the skin on his thigh showing, Katsuki didn't seem to care.
The blond did everything in his power to keep Izuku smiling and the green-eyed man's heart clenched.
At first, Izuku thought it was just pity, much like the type of pity Mirio always had with him. But when the lieutenant stripped himself down and showed Izuku his own scars, it changed everything.
Katsuki sat there vulnerable and showed off every knife and gunshot wound he'd obtained with a story behind each one. Slowly, Katsuki washed away all of Izuku's fears.
Then the beautiful visual of Katsuki diving into the pool shocked Izuku.
Izuku stared, eyes blown large, thinking he was hallucinating while awake at the sight of Katsuki's chest deep in sparkling blue water. It was flooring to see the man he knew to be wound up tighter than a toy soldier let go of his inhibitions just to try and make Izuku realize how much he liked him.
The shining pool against the night made it seem like the blond was nearly glowing as he reached out his hand to Izuku, just like in his dreams.
"C'mon, Izuku...just...take a chance with me," Katsuki pleaded with his iridescent ember eyes as he reached his hand out. "Please."
Just that sight alone, made the previous three dreams of Katsuki play like a movie in his head. As each one progressed, Izuku noted how dream Katsuki was beckoning him to come deeper with him into his depths.
Izuku gave in.
He let himself become fully immersed in those burning, passionate eyes for the next month and it was the best decision he felt like he had ever made.
The once love-fearing greenette gave himself to Katsuki during the wedding, when once again, Katsuki saved him from his dark thoughts. The month following was the brightest part of Izuku's life as he spent it diving deeper and exploring the caring, thoughtful man he had come to know.
Katsuki was everything. He was smart. He was diligent. He was thoughtful. He was the most amazing lover Izuku had ever known and the last one he hoped to ever have. When he told his therapist, she made a face about him sleeping with his higher up, but she was more focused on the fact that Izuku had reopened himself up.
"It's good to love," she told him with kind eyes and Izuku gave a soft smile at the thought.
It was good to be with Katsuki, and Izuku didn't feel like he made a mistake. The young detective hadn't even bothered stepping foot in his tiny, lonesome apartment for nearly thirty days. But when Katsuki gave him the day off, he decided to go back for a short while. Mainly just to get more clothes, maybe grab some art supplies.
Izuku walked in after getting off the phone with Katsuki to the complex, completely lost in his thoughts holding a brown paper bag full of all the foods he knew Katsuki would love. His bright yellow backpack was full of his sketchbooks, taking them back home after spending time showing Katsuki them.
However, when he arrived at his door that morning, he was surprised to see a pile of various colored roses that looked rather old.
"Ah," Izuku sighed, bending down to the pile. "I'm so sorry, stranger. I forgot about you."
He stared at them, feeling oddly guilty while studying their wilted petals. His green eyes looked at how the red rose was the driest, indicating it was the oldest. There was a message on it with the address of the local coffee shop coupled with a small 'I miss you' in black type. There were also several blues roses that looked as if they were delivered back to back, their freshness on a declining scale.
But what stood out the most was the still fresh black rose sitting on top.
Unlike the others, it didn't have a poem and there was something strangely eerie about it. He had never received a black colored rose from the nameless stranger. He contributed it to the fact whoever was giving him the roses probably felt neglected from seeing his flowers grow old and being technically stood up.
Izuku had almost wished he had been there for the first rose, because then at least maybe he would know who it was and inform Toshinori about a possible public meet up.
He picked the delicate flower up, feeling saddened to know he might've subsequently hurt whoever's feelings by becoming so close to Katsuki. He pondered that maybe this was the end of the roses?
As his guard was down, a sharp unforgiving explosion went off that made Izuku give a loud yell and fall to the floor. He hit the ground hard, spilling his groceries all over as the balance of the building shifted dangerously. Screams rippled throughout the building and people began rushing out of their apartments.
Green eyes looked around in horror when he realized exactly what that was. He tried to get up again, but another large explosion went off and people began pushing and shoving. Terror filled Izuku's veins when he could start to see smoke fill the space and his limbs went ice cold.
His body trembled harder than anything Izuku had ever experienced when everyone around him started panicking full force. He felt other people's hands on his body trying to get him to stand up, but his vision began to blur, and all his brain could think was fire.
He stumbled with the rushing crowd towards the lower levels but another unexpected explosion went off in the staircase where he was, and he was launched forward. Izuku's hearing drowned to white noise with faded screams in the back when all he saw were flames blocking his only exit. Parts of the building rumbled and shook, falling and his body shut down completely when the heat got too close to his skin.
The hyperventilating greenette blacked out from panic and he wouldn't remember how or when the firemen came as he was carried outside shaking in horror. He clung desperately to whoever as he watched his home—the last of everything he owned—go up in flames.
Izuku lost his composure at everything being taken away from him again and his right shoulder stung unimaginably. All he could see were flashbacks of Makinohara knowing all his art, memories of his parents and Touya were once again lost completely to spiteful flames.
Tear filled green eyes glanced up feeling hopeless and right as he turned his head, he saw Katsuki running towards him.
He broke down uncontrollably as he clung desperately to Katsuki as if he was a lifesaver.
"I don't have a h-home again," Izuku's voice crack, mind flashing back to the ugly feeling of having nothing all over again. "That was everything I had left and now I have n-nothing. I'm a-alone again. I'm alone. I'm alone—"
"You have me," Katsuki quickly correctly, holding him close. "You can...You can stay with me, okay? You're not alone."
Izuku's crying slowed down at the words as he looked into the red eyes that were studying him with the utmost care. Izuku clung tighter to Katsuki and allowed him to be his lighthouse as a beacon to his rapidly depressing thoughts.
And once again, Katsuki washed them away.
Izuku felt himself pulled afloat above his misery by the way Katsuki gently cleaned his body that night, being mindful of his new burn. He kept Izuku calm by the way he slept peacefully beside him, reassuring him anytime he woke up from a nightmare and finally he completely dosed out of the flame of fear in Izuku by building an art studio.
The orphan felt like he didn't deserve Katsuki as he looked at the new studio.
It was one of his dreams that he let go of when he left Yaizu, yet here it was. Sitting in front of him accompanied by a deep look of flickering passion sitting inside of the blond's deep colored eyes.
That night as they tangled into each other, Izuku felt a shift between them that he couldn't explain. Katsuki whispered sweet nothings into his ear while rocking his body full of indescribable pleasure.
"I can give you everything, Izuku," Katsuki rasped out into their deep kiss and pushed against his pleasure spot harder. Izuku groaned at the deep sensual thrusts Katsuki gave like he did with more purpose as he stroked his hand through Izuku's hair tenderly. "Just like I'm giving it to you right now, I can give you that damn dog, a warm bed and more. I can give you a home."
Izuku moaned and arched up at the words, not expecting them but Katsuki kept going, moving inside of him like the steady ocean. Nothing but praise and comfort spilled out from the lips he loved to kiss so much and when Izuku closed his eyes he saw something he never thought he'd see again:
He saw the vision of his future so crystal clear in front of him for the first time in four years. But this time it was full of Katsuki's smiling face.
He saw them holding hands, kissing, and laughing. He saw them with Toshinori and the U.A squad gathered around for holiday parties. He saw them dancing in the rain and he finally saw them living happily together and covered in paint in his art studio laughing.
Izuku dug his nails deep into the muscular shoulders of the man above him and gasped loudly as the visions got more intense the closer to his peak he became.
"I'm close! I-I think I'm going to—ah!" Four euphoria triggering thrusts snapped against his sweet spot that made Izuku see white, and finally he saw him and Katsuki together on the beach holding hands whispering three little words—
"K-Kacchan," He cried out, toes curling. "I think I-I lo—fuck!"
He came quicker than the words could leave his mouth and Izuku felt Katsuki pour inside of him as well. The large hands holding his hips down tightened their grip and Katsuki grunted as he buried himself all the way inside.
Both froze and Izuku stared up the ceiling, shocked by what imagery his brain just provided. It had been so long since he could ever envision himself in the future, yet there it was, brought back by Katsuki.
When stunned ember colored eyes stared down at him, Izuku decided to keep his thoughts to himself, too afraid that he might scare off his most precious person.
. . .
Izuku kept his private thoughts to himself, but he found a new purpose as he moved through life that week. He told his therapist what he experienced, and she smiled, saying that was a really good sign that he could envision a future further out than just the next day.
"How long has it been since you've been unable to see yourself in a clear future?" She asked concerned, taking notes.
"It's been four years," Izuku replied. He looked down at his hands, feeling strange about it. "The last time I was able to even think about myself past the present was four years ago...right before I hit my first depressive episode."
"It sounds like Katsuki is special to you," she smiled and Izuku felt his lips switch in an upwards movement into his own happy expression at the thought.
"Yeah," he whispered thinking about the beautifully colored eyes. "He is special."
Izuku fully accepted that day that Katsuki was someone dear to him. It became even more of a realized fact the night before the undercover operative, when he heard Katsuki softly whisper "I love you" into his hair. Izuku's eyes went wide because he thought he'd never hear those words again.
Yet there was Katsuki, breaking all the locks on Izuku's heart again. The greenette stopped for a second at the meaningful words as he pictured his parents and Touya but when he fell asleep, he had his fourth and final dream about Katsuki.
When he closed his eyes, he was back on the beach, but this time already in the water being held by a chuckling Katsuki who kissed him. Izuku felt himself melt into the dream and when he opened his eyes again, they were immersed underwater fully. The light from the surface shone on Katsuki's handsome smile as they floated down, deeper into the depths of the ocean in each other's arms.
It felt like a fairytale for a moment, he could breathe underwater with the man in front of him as they sunk to the bottom with hands intertwined. He felt safe and secure as Katsuki whispered how he would never have to be alone again.
It was a feeling Izuku could only describe as love—floating without fear in the deepest parts of the sea with someone.
After that, he felt he needed to make sure Katsuki was protected at any cost because he deeply feared losing a loved one again.
Which is why the second Himiko laid her hungry gold eyes on him, the deepest chord of dread was struck in Izuku.
"C'mon, Zuzu," Himiko called sweetly through a laugh. "Let's go to ground alpha together. He's waiting for you and I promise it'll be worth your time. Otherwise, big boss isn't going to be happy. You don't want to be responsible for another repeat of Makinohara again, do you?"
The word Makinohara made Izuku grow stiff and the nightmare played out again: he heard the screams, saw the blood and felt fire against his skin. She dragged her murderous gaze directly towards Katsuki as if she knew and instantly a vision of the man he loved going up in flames slammed into his head.
"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for this later," he said quickly before Katsuki could turn towards him.
He steeled his nerves as his brain worked quickly for a solution that would have the blond lieutenant safely away from All For one and their cop killing tendencies. Running on nothing but adrenaline and short time, he did the one thing he knew he could do: he knocked Katsuki out cold before he could object and get himself killed.
"I love you, I'm so sorry," he whispered to Katsuki's unconscious figure as he safely dragged him through the snow to the curb as Himiko led the way out of the maze made of fences.
The cold chipped away at his exposed legs as he reached down in Katsuki's pants for his phone. Shaky hands pressed the emergency dial and sounded off the unconscious male's tracker for help to come.
And with that, he turned off his tracking device and he let Himiko take him away in the dark winter night.
. . .
Izuku sat in the back of the van trying to keep his breathing calm. He was blind folded, and his hands were restrained harshly behind his back by Himiko who looked overjoyed and gleeful to see him.
"I can't wait until we get to ground alpha, Zuzu!" She giggled into his ear. "We've been waiting for this moment for a long time. Everything is going to change from here on out."
Izuku didn't reply as two men roughly handled him in the mystery vehicle but several things kept standing out in his head, screaming loudly.
The first being the threat of another Makinohara. Izuku could picture the U.A precinct going up in flames and he would do anything to prevent that ugly nightmare from becoming true because he couldn't risk Katsuki like that.
The second was the promise of going to ground alpha. He knew the Shigarakis were there and he knew the terms and agreements of his life still so undoubtedly clear from so long ago.
"If we request your expertise on the bomb mechanics in the future, you come running to us like the goddamn dog on a leash you are to us now. Then you go back living your boring life. Do anything to disrupt this, and we'll make sure you're disposed of quietly."
But Izuku was still undoubtedly scorned about Makinohara.
He knew they were going to underestimate him, so he sat there silently the entire two hour ride formulating a plan to dig up their ground alpha for good—even if that meant throwing himself directly into the shark tank.
But the last thing that was screaming in his mind was who exactly was Himiko referring to?
"He's waiting for you."
The sentence made Izuku's heart skip a beat when what she said made him reconsider how Dabi touched him. The grip on his wrist felt ghostly familiar and Izuku couldn't pinpoint it until the arsonist's hand brushed his hair out of his face. Then Dabi lightly touched his earring in a way that only one person had ever done.
Izuku remembered how stiff he went when a chill crawled up his spine like a spider because it almost felt like—
—Touya.
But that couldn't be true...right? He recalled Touya bleeding out on the floor and all the three years of grief he went through. It just didn't make sense.
After that, he spent a lot of time trying to see behind the wolf mask to no avail. However, when they got into the car, Dabi turned his head slightly and the back of the man's head struck a familiar note. The sharp minded detective flashed to the black-haired stranger at the bar that had broken a glass with his bare hands and the memory perfectly aligned with that he was seeing.
The purple burns were in the exact spots on the man's neck and covering his ears.
Things began clicking in Izuku's brain like an unfathomable puzzle. Izuku felt his heart rate increase because something wasn't right.
"We're here, get him out of the back," a distorted voice commanded.
The van jerked to a hard stop and within the minute he was dragged by his arms out of the van. A cold weight of a gun was held to his temple and Izuku let out a shaky breath as he was led into a building and onto an elevator that descended down below the surface.
When the elevator finally dinged, Izuku was thrusted forward onto the ground and the menacing chuckling of various men surrounded him.
"Ah, our angel has finally arrived," a sinister, unforgettable voice echoed. A hand reached down to snatch his blind fold off to reveal Tomura, mere inches away from his face. Izuku sneered automatically at the sight of the man he hated so much.
"Beautiful as ever of course," Tomura taunted as he lifted his thumb to wipe away some of the dried blood on Izuku's lip. "So glad to see you. Must say it took a minute to get a hold on you again after everything. Bold choice on moving out of Yaizu. Was that to get away from me?"
Izuku ignored Tomura as he looked around.
They were clearly in the basement of a building but this time instead of a rundown warehouse, it seemed to be an office space. It was clean, well put together, and Tomura was dressed in a business casual purple shirt.
Izuku then cut his eyes off at the few men and women off to the side. He saw three bodyguards by the doors and standing in front of him were people he remembered from so many years ago. Himiko. Magne. Sako Atsuhiro.
Green eyes automatically searched around for familiar red hair and blue eyes—but found none.
He bitterly bit the inside of his cheek when he realized he let Himiko bait him.
Of course he's not here, Izuku. He's dead—what were you thinking? She said all that just to get you to come and mess with you.
Izuku's sights landed on Dabi who was stationed directly behind Shigaraki senior's sitting figure wearing a gas mask. The top boss looked bored as he rested his face against his fist, leaning his elbow on the armchair.
He is a part of All For One. The puzzle piece clicked and Izuku worked his jaw at the silent man in the gas mask that was standing still like a statue. But as Izuku looked around more...there was someone missing that he felt like should be there.
Where's Nine? Green eyes cut to Dabi suspiciously.
Fingers snapped in his face to bring his attention back to the powerful kingpin. "We didn't give you head trauma again from roughly handling you, did we?" Tomura arched an eyebrow curiously at the spaced-out behavior. "You're so delicate."
"What do you want with me, Tomura?" Izuku asked cautiously, prying his eyes away from Dabi. "We had an agreement, I thought you said you'd leave me alone."
"We do and we're about to fulfill part of that agreement," Tomura sighed as Himiko stepped around to free Izuku of his wrist restraints. The greenette nursed his skin from the tight hold as he finally stood up in the strange space.
"We've been trying to figure out a way to get to you without pissing off Yotsubashi. But that bastard is always making sure we can't move further north—I'll be glad for the day he's finally dead and out of our hair."
At this declaration Izuku stiffened. He paused nursing his bruised wrist and looked at Tomura confused as he replayed Dabi and Nine killing Yotsubashi in cold blood in his head.
In the background, Izuku saw Dabi discreetly bring his pointer finger up to the mouth part of the gas mask in a 'shush'fashion.
Izuku furrowed his brows as his skin creeped unnaturally.
"Dabi here informed us that you just so happened to fall into his lap while you were out clubbing," Tomura continued on ignorantly when Himiko looked towards Dabi with a strange smirk. "So, we instructed him to sound the alarms and bring you back here to us for a moment. We'll let you go soon, just like we agreed."
Izuku turned his attention back to Tomura. He frowned. "You brought me here for the agreement. Which means you need help with…"
"The bomb. You're correct." Tomura snapped his fingers and Dabi bent down and picked something off the floor behind the chair of Shigaraki senior. The black-haired man then stepped forward holding Izuku's haunting creation. "Our newest member Dabi is the current engineer and he wants to make it have a larger explosion radius, but he can't exactly fiddle with what you made due to it being so complexly put together. You're here to help him out."
Dabi slowly handed him the bomb and Izuku stared questionably at his full coverage gas mask. There was something both baffling and inexplicable about Dabi that Izuku didn't know how to voice—so he decided to play it safe.
"Okay," Izuku said slowly, keeping his voice light.
"Okay?" Tomura question, voice inclining upwards in an amused fashion. "I expected a little bit more feistiness from you—especially in that outfit. But guess you finally learned your place in the food chain, huh?"
Izuku bit the inside of his cheek as he looked down at the dirtied green kimono and red slash. "Where are the tools?" He gritted through his teeth, trying his best to stay on task.
"Right over there," Tomura answered, pointing off to the side. Izuku turned his head to see a small bench table with a blue chair off to the side. "Take as much time as you need. Dabi, watch him so you can see how it's done in the future. I'm sick of your excuses."
He was led by Dabi off to the side and escorted to take a seat. Izuku held back his frown when the dark haired man pulled out the plush blue chair like a gentleman.
The room filled with small conversations from the criminals inside as Izuku worked on what was asked of him. But an unresolved notion kept causing him to cut his eye towards Dabi who was leaning against the wall next to him with his arms crossed. Izuku noted his large bulging through the black leather jacket and all the different silver chains around his neck that he assumed to be status symbols.
Why didn't he tell the Shigarakis that he killed Yotsubashi? He thought curiously, studying the large burn covering the entirety of the black haired man's neck.
Izuku noticed how Dabi wasn't actually watching him. He had his head turned away and he was staring ahead at the Shigarakis who seemed to not have a single clue their biggest rival's body was most likely being disposed of by Nine.
When it came time to solder the two fuses together, Izuku looked over his shoulder slowly at everyone paying him no mind. Quickly, he discreetly reached in between his legs and felt up for the small holster on his thigh. Izuku worked with haste as he snapped off the small inactive tracking device and hid it in the mess of blue, yellow and green wires.
He melted it carefully against the bottom most corner of the device when he felt like Dabi wasn't looking and concealed it with a small piece of silver metal.
"I'm finished," Izuku spoke loudly to the whole room. His heart pounded in his ears with nerves because he was praying that this worked.
"Dabi, check to make sure everything looks correct," Tomura called out from the other side of the room. Izuku stiffened when the man in all black turned towards him in that lifeless mask. The arsonist slowly lifted the top of the detonator and inspected everything closely but paused when it seemed like he saw something.
Izuku held his breath as his eyes moved back and forth between Dabi and the bomb, but oddly enough, nothing was said. Dabi lifted his head to look at him through his tinted visor and snapped the lid shut with purpose.
"We're good," Dabi's deep distorted voice echoed out for the first time. "Everything is set to go."
"Perfect. Izuku you're free to go back to Shizuoka City," Tomura smiled tauntingly at him. "Magne, make sure you return his phone and wallet when you deliver him to the drop site."
"Is that all you need?" The greenette hesitantly stood up, looking around at all the different people when he suddenly felt a strange tension in the air. He studied the way Himiko's eyes sparkled with something close to bloodlust—but the look was directed at Tomura and not him.
"Yes, angel, that's all. We said we would let you go back to your boring life without a scratch if you hold up your end of the agreement, which you did."
Dabi walked over to Tomura with the bomb and the silver haired man snatched it out of the arsonist's hands as if he was irritated about something.
"I'll hold on to this for now until you finish what we asked of you," Tomura hissed in a low voice that Izuku almost didn't hear. He watched how Dabi flexed his gloved hands in what seemed like anger, but nothing happened. Tomura turned to give the green-eyed man a tight lipped smile.
"You can go now, Izuku. Remember to keep your mouth zipped as tightly as you've been doing for years now." Tomura snapped his fingers and quickly all the bodyguards walked over to the greenette.
Izuku gave a muffled yelp of surprise when a black bag was shoved over his head and he was dragged right back out from where he came.
. . .
The car ride to wherever they were taking him wasn't nearly as long.
Izuku huffed when they removed the bag off of his head and the doors of the black van opened wide. He yelped as he was shoved out of the back of the van onto the cold concrete in a single, swift movement.
Green eyes squinted at the bright orange sky that forced his pupils to constrict from the brightness. He put his hand up to cast a shadow over his sensitive eyes to stare at the plateness black van driving off in the other direction and his phone and wallet being thrown out of the window on the sidewalk.
Izuku groaned at the pain from being thrown out of the moving vehicle and shifted out of the snow to see where he was dropped. But when his eyes settled on the all too familiar worn-down blue 'For Sale' sign, he outwardly groaned.
"You've got to be kidding me," he hissed in a strained voice, looking up at the dawn colored sky in irritation. "Why do they have such a sick sense of humor?"
Izuku bitterly studied his childhood home that was exactly the same as he left it six months ago. The windows were boarded up with wood and it looked lonely covered in white snow that hadn't been shoveled for what seemed like the entire winter.
They could've dropped me anywhere else, Izuku thought bitterly as he picked himself off the ground, hissing at the sudden string on his right knee. He looked down and saw a small scrape from the sidewalk and sighed tiredly.
He began to limp away from the house, refusing to gaze back at the painful reminder of his life as he went to search for his wallet and phone in the snow. As he moved forward however, he heard the shuffling of something in the bushes behind him and paused.
Izuku's paranoia kicked in like lightning and he turned around briskly, thinking it might be the strange Dabi. There was something off about the man in the gas mask that he couldn't shake as he thought about him possibly being the man from the bar.
But as he looked around, there was no one in the early morning Yaizu streets.
He turned around again, painfully slow and started walking until he found his phone and wallet in the middle of the street. Izuku exhaled tiredly at the sight of his now-cracked screen and picked it up.
Then the rustling in the bushes returned and this time it was closer to him. At the sound of such closeness, Izuku rapidly reached down to his thigh holster and pulled out the small black pistol.
"Who's there?" He called out to the still darkened forest-like area in his old neighborhood. The rustle began again and Izuku cocked his gun as he stepped forward into the shadowy area.
He was expecting it to maybe be another person—but instead he was greeted by large puppy doe eyes and a small whine.
Izuku froze, not anticipating to find a small black and tanned Shibu Inu puppy sitting behind the bushes in the snow on the ground. The young detective quickly put his gun away as the harsh winter winds blew and the small creature shuddered.
"Hey there," he whispered, squatting down slowly to the small animal's height, heart swelling as the puppy inched forward towards him. "Let's see...are you lost like me?" He asked sadly while checking the small dog's neck for tags, only to see none. But when the tiny puppy yelped Izuku froze as his eyes zeroed in on the limp paw the Shibu had.
"Ah. Lost and injured. We're more alike than I thought. Come here, I won't hurt you," he whispered as he picked up the tiny creature. Its tail wagged and it snuggled into Izuku more, making the tired man smile weakly. He held the puppy securely in his arms hoping to give it warmth. "There we go, you must be cold. Ah you're such a good…" He quickly looked down at the small pup's belly. "...girl!" He giggled.
The wind blew again reminding Izuku that neither of them could last too long out in this cold much longer. He cradled the small puppy in his arm as he pulled out his cracked phone.
He turned on the green device only to have his heart sink at the amount of missed calls and text messages. Every single officer from U.A had blown up his phone.
—But most of them were from Katsuki.
There were over a hundred missed calls and several dozen rapid fire text messages. He quickly shifted apps and pressed the 'on' button for his tracker. He watched the green dot blink several times and noted how Ground Alpha was right in the center of downtown Yaizu. Of course.
Right as he was about to press the dial for Katsuki, Toshinori sprang up on his caller ID.
Izuku sighed as he began walking to the train station looking down at the dog in his arms that had begun to shiver against him. He pressed the answer button on the phone and automatically held it several inches away from his ear.
"Izuku, what in the hell is wrong with you!?" Toshinori's loud voice boomed through the speakers. "We have been trying to get a hold of your phone and tracker for the last four hours—Bakugou said you went off with AFO willingly?! I'm sending a damn team out right now to extract you from your tracker's location—"
"—I'm not there," Izuku quickly interrupted, but the flustered captain was still going off on the deep end of his disapproval. The young detective raised his voice to try to catch his attention. "Toshinori—wait! Stop—that's not my location."
The scolding paused. "...What do you mean, Izuku? Where are you?"
"I'm in Yaizu by my parents' old home. I'm starting to make my way back," Izuku sighed, trying to ignore the freezing of his limbs in the skimpy kimono. "But the location, it's the Shigarakis...it's ground alpha's location. I...I was able to slip my tracking device in when they weren't looking."
There was a long pause between both men at the implication of what Izuku just said.
"...Are you telling me that's ground alpha's location?" Toshinori whispered harshly. "Izuku, if that's true we need to call S.W.A.T immediately."
A burning resolve settled into Izuku's core when he realized that this might be it. He looked over his shoulder at his forgotten childhood hold and all the weeds that over run the once joy filled house.
"It's true. Call S.W.A.T."
"Okay, I'll alert the team," Toshinori whispered with a hard edge to his voice. There was an exhausted sigh and Toshinori calmed down. "In the meantime, son, come home...and call Katsuki. He's been worried sick about you."
Izuku's heart clutched and he paused his walking, the guilt fully settling in. He pictured the look of worry in red eyes and missed the flickering embers.
"Okay, I'll be back in Shizuoka City in about three hours. Don't worry about me, focus on bringing them in. I'll be fine."
"Alright. See you soon, Izuku. Be safe and get home."
Toshinori clicked off the line and Izuku pulled the phone from his ear to gaze at the time on the home screen. The background was a silly photo of Katsuki in his PJs and glasses and sitting on top of the image the time read to be nearly 7:00 am. Izuku had no doubt that a certain blond was probably having an aneurysm.
He made a move to press call on the name 'Lieutenant Kacchan,' but his phone went black again as his battery glitched and died. He cursed loudly under his breath at the luck, startling the tiny animal in his arms.
"Sorry," he whispered, petting the soft fur on top of the female Shibu's head. He put his phone away and inhaled deeply as he started to make his way towards the train station.
. . .
Izuku knocked nervously on the door of Katsuki's apartment around 10:00am. He stared down at himself and realized how much of a mess he truly was.
His body was freezing, and he was sure he was shivering from near hypothermia, but he was trying his best to keep the small animal in his arms warm. His brain was sluggish from being awake for nearly twenty-four hours and trying to process everything he just witnessed. His knee was badly scraped, and he had numerous other injuries from fighting off the members of AFO in the warehouse.
But when Katsuki answered the door—he somehow looked worse.
The apartment's wooden door aggressively swung open to reveal red eyes that were utterly bloodshot, something Izuku has never seen on the blond before. There were shadows underneath his eyes and the frown on his handsome features looked as if he was about to pop a vein at any given moment.
Above all, what caught Izuku's attention the most, was the emotion sitting deep inside Katsuki's ember colored eyes. It was nearly infinite sadness and worry.
The two lovers stared at each other without saying a word while assessing each other. Katsuki's eyes flickered to the small dog in Izuku's arm and his frown only went deeper.
"Hi," the greenette started with an apologetic smile. "I brought a guest? I found her on my way to the train station."
Katsuki opened his mouth to say something but quickly snapped it shut. He closed his eyes to take a deep inhale in and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Get inside this fucking apartment," his tiredly hoarse voice whispered as he stepped aside for Izuku to come in. Izuku bowed his head when he entered, anger and betrayal radiating off the hot-headed blond. He walked inside the apartment and waited for Katsuki to follow him inside all the way.
Izuku laid the small sleeping dog down on the couch peacefully and he noticed how Katsuki softly looked at the pup as well. But when the elder man shifted his gaze to land on him, Izuku knew the blond was past livid.
"Katsuki...I'm sorry—"
"Why would you do that?!" The blonde harshly whispered, outrage finally snapping. Katsuki looked at Izuku full of hurt and anger as he stepped forward to tower over him. "You ran off to a drug lord's fucking headquarters without backup like a complete dumbass!? Do you know how dangerous that could've been—especially for you!"
"I knew they wouldn't do anything to me," Izuku defended. "And I was right. But they would've hurt you—"
"You don't know that!" Katsuki's voice cracked. "You don't know if they weren't planning on hurting you, Izuku! You cannot fucking trust people like that! What if they had!?"
Izuku hung his head down, furrowing his brows. "I was just trying to protect you, Katsuki—"
"—That's my goddamn job!" The lieutenant's voice boomed at an octave that startled Izuku.
Izuku snapped his green eyes upwards to find tears pouring down Katsuki's face. Izuku opened his mouth speechless as he watched the usually well-composed man completely come undone. His heart painfully pulled to make it stop. But Katsuki kept going, wiping away his tears in front of the younger officer.
"It's my job to protect you, Izuku! I-I'm your lieutenant and I'm supposed to watch out for my subordinates!" He said through gritted teeth. "I promised Toshinori that nothing would happen to you and if it had I would've never fucking forgiven myself—"
Katsuki's words were halted by a crack in his voice at the end of the sentence and his chest heaving uncontrollably. Izuku stayed silent as the blond cried softly in front of him, trying desperately to wipe his tears away quicker than they were falling.
"Fuck," Katsuki whispered when he realized that he was completely lost to his emotions flooding out of him. "I can't stop fucking crying."
Izuku's heart pulled and strained painfully until he reached up to wipe away Katsuki's tears for him and his own started to fall. They made eye contact and Izuku whispered the softest apologies as Katsuki reached up to squeeze Izuku's hand in his.
"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to make you worried. I-I just didn't want you to get hurt. Above everything. Yes, I went knowing that they said they wouldn't kill me...but...most of all, I was worried they would hurt you if I didn't go," he whispered.
Red eyes searched his face with raw emotion. Gradually, Katsuki climbed down from his temper to bring Izuku in for a long, wordless embrace. Izuku squeezed the larger body in his arms as Katsuki tiredly rested his head against him.
"You can be too selfless," Katsuki rasped out into his curls, holding him tighter. "Promise me you won't do anything like that again. Please."
Izuku nodded and pulled back to look into the ember colored eyes he's come to love.
"I promise I won't," Izuku whispered, wiped away the last teardrop that shed from Katsuki's eyes. He gave a small smile and the handsome blond gave a grateful one back.
Katsuki leaned down to cradle his freckled face carefully and the Izuku melted into a kiss that felt as warm as the embers burning in his heart.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think below! I'm really excited to move into the next arc! No preview this week, next chapter is a surprise :) Thank you guys so much for the R&R! I really love reading your reviews as I write this story. You guys are so much!
