« Haruhi. » I called, outside our tent.

The kid was sparing with a young man, about sixteen years old and I was proud to see that she was properly « kicking his ass », to use the words Souji would probably have used to describe that duel.

« Yes, Otousan ? » she said, coming closer.

« You're not supposed to call me Otousan here, you're a page. »

« Hai, Saito-Kumichô ! » she bowed « What can I do for you ? »

« We are out of a few supplies. I need you to go to the nearest village and get sweet potatoes, red beans and vegetables. We have enough rice for everyone but people are starting to complain about the rice porridge so we need a bit of change. You. » I adressed the warrior who was sparing with her. « What's your name ? »

« Suzuki, Kumichô. Suzuki Saburô. » he bowed.

« Suzuki-kun, you will go with her. Take two other men to carry the supplies. » I ordered.

« Alright, Kumichô. » they both replied as one.

« Haruhi » I added « If the red bean vendor has some red bean paste sweets or even only the paste, take some for Chizuru. »

« Hai ! » she nodded and she went off, followed by Suzuki to ask two more warriors for help.

Satisfied with her efficiency, I came back in my tent to order some paperwork and see which I had to bring to Hijikata-san for review. It was true that everyone was tired of the rice porridge but it was even worse for Chizuru. Last time, she woke up in the middle of the night to eat and she cried uncontrollably at the view of the rice porridge. She was craving for sugary food or even anything that would change from that damn mixture. If Haruhi could bring me red bean paste, I would try and do mochi with it and our rice flour even if our kitchen ustensils were nowhere as practical as real ones. A military encampment wasn't really a place for good cooking and using directly the beans would take me too much time. The ideal situation would be for her to find the sweets directly on the market.

I joined Hijikata-san with the paperwork that needed some review and his approval for me to respond. When we were finished, I had my hands free for the day and so, I went to repeat my moves and meditate in the relative silence of our tent. Chizuru was nowhere to be found and I supposed she was attending an ill warrior somewhere. I wasn't anxious. She was like a symbol in our encampment and she had about 1400 bodyguards. Plus, she knew how to defend herself.

Haruhi came back a few hours later with arms full of groceries. She did find some manju, a steamed cake filled with red bean paste, and I thanked her before bringing them to the tent for Chizuru when she would come back. I was sure that she would be enchanted to have something sweet to eat. Haruhi took the rest of the groceries to the alimentary reserve and resumed her training outside. I watched her from afar. Her moves were of someone that trained diligently and she wasn't making any placement mistakes with her hands. Her feet though weren't always in the right position.

« Haruhi » I called « you must never put your balance on your toes. Even if you lift your heel, you still need to be on your foot sole, never the toes. »

« Okay ! » she nodded.

I looked at her feet placements and it was better, even if not perfect. I kept watching her for minutes. Her arms were ones of a warrior now, so were her abs and legs. I wondered if she would keep being that muscular, even after the end of the war. We would probably have problems to find her a good husband who would accept to take her even if she is not a virgin with her scars on her arm and her warrior body... Being fit was good but I had to make sure that she wouldn't get even less feminine. I guess she had time anyway... Her marriage wasn't going to be before at least four more years and for now, no one expressed any interest in her. Or at least, no one came to make an offer to me.

I sensed Chizuru approaching even before I heard her but I let her the satisfaction of surprising me. She came to hold me from behind with her hands circling my waist.

« Got you ! » she said playfully.

« Soon you won't be able to circle me this way. » I stated.

« Then I have to make the best of it. » she replied, getting next to me without letting me go.

She rested her head on my shoulder and I passed my arm around her waist too, still focused on Haruhi's moves.

« She's moving well. » said Chizuru, breaking the silence.

« Indeed. » I nodded.

« She's probably already better than me. » she affirmed.

« She is. » I stated « She is perfectionist and she trained with Souji. She's not leaving room for mistakes after we point one out. She has a lot of potential. »

« I never heard you praise someone like this. » she replied, surprised.

« I praise when it is deserved. I praised you on your progresses before. » I frowned.

« Yeah, but not like this. » she smiled « you really like this kid. »

« Of course I do. » I said, furrowing my brows even more « she's my daughter. »

« I know. » she chuckled « Like father, like daughter, I guess. Are you going to stop her at some point and tell her that she would never be employed as a samurai ? »

« If it's necessary. For now, I am just glad she's able to defend herself in time of war. We'll see when it's time to find a husband for her. »

« Are you planning in staying in Aizu when the war is over ? » she asked suddenly.

I took a moment to think. Aizu indeed was somewhere I would like to live. It was less humid than Kyoto, even if the summers were hot and the winters rough, Haruhi would be respected for her skills and I respected the Matsudaira family, and especially Katamori-sama, very much. Yet, I didn't know if I could be employed in Aizu with my left-handedness. That could be an obstacle.

« I'm not sure yet. » I said with a glum face « maybe at the end of this war, there won't be any use for warriors anymore. »

« Maybe... but even if this is the case, it doesn't mean there won't be any use for you. » she replied softly.

I turned to her and saw that she was looking at Haruhi with a sad expression. I deciphered that she was thinking that I wanted to die in this war. I searched for meaningful words to say but I couldn't find any and so, I kept quiet for a time before changing the subject.

« What would you say about tea and sweets ? » I asked her with a smile.

« Sweets ? » she repeated with a sparkling gaze and a hint of suspicion.

I simply nodded and I went to make some tea. She followed me and I put the two cups on the tray, walking towards the tent.

« I don't see any sweets... » she said sadly.

I entered the tent, Chizuru still following, and put the tray down before handing her the paper bag.

« Manju ! » she yelled, excited « where did you find them ?! »

« You can thank Haruhi. » I said « she went grocery shopping. »

« I will ! » she nodded, her mouth already full with the sweet cake « it's so good ! »

She started crying, overwhelmed after days, weeks even, of eating the same rice porridge. I took my cup in hand and stayed by her side, waiting for her to calm down. I was used to her emotional sensitivity now and I knew that there was nothing to do except waiting for it to pass.

« Do you want one ? » she asked me, her eyes sparkling with tears of joy.

« No. » I shook my head « they are all for you. »

« You're so sweet... » she commented, putting another manju in her mouth « Hum ! »

Her eyes widden, her cheek stuffed with the cake and her eyes dropped to her belly.

« What's the matter ? » I asked in my toneless voice, feeling anguish taking over me but not showing it.

She swallowed the cake, helping herself with the tea and looked at me with a disturbing expression, between surprise and joy.

« I... I felt it... » she said, looking at her round belly once more.

« You did ? » I asked, completely in awe « a kick ? »

« No... It was so soft... Like bubbles or... butterflies... » she tried to explain.

« May I ? » I asked, approaching my hand.

She nodded, thrill sparkling in her gaze with strength and I parted the edges of her yukata to rest my hand on her naked belly. I waited patiently but I didn't feel a thing. I stayed that way in anticipation of feeling it move but it didn't seem to want to.

« Here ! » said Chizuru, voice full with enthusiasm « can you feel anything ? »

I closed my eyes and tried my best but I couldn't sense a thing... I felt disappointed but I knew that it will eventually come a day when I could feel it. I just had to be patient...

« I can't. » I said Chizuru « maybe it's not strong enough yet. Are you sure it's the baby you're feeling ? »

« Yeah » she nodded « it reacted to the cake. I guess it was tired of the porridge too ! » she chuckled.

I looked at her while she put her hands on her stomach. She was looking at it with overwhelming love. I thought that even when she was looking at me, that much affection wasn't contained in her eyes. It was a mother's love, endless and without concessions. I couldn't wait to see her with our son or daughter. She would be radiant. She already was.

« It's like... sparkling bubbles... » she chuckled « it tingles a bit... I wonder what he's doing... »

« Maybe he's asking for another cake. » I smirked, handing her one.

She took it with a laugh and ate it with her tea. She didn't keep her hand on her belly. Like me, she couldn't feel it from the outside, only from the inside. I tried to picture what it could feel like... sparkling bubbles inside her womb... I wondered when it would be strong enough for me to feel it. She stopped eating after these three manju and kept the other three for later. Since she wasn't needed for anything, she laid down for a nap and I got back outside. I found a spot in the shadow of a tree and practiced my moves again. Even if the sun wasn't too painful anymore, it was still uncomfortable. I wondered how long we would stay in backup in this camp. Boredom was starting to linger in all of us, especially with military food, military discipline and military lack of hygiene... and all this time on our hands. I craved the battle call, just so I could do something productive, and I feared it all the same, since it would put Chizuru and Haruhi in danger. At some point, when Chizuru will be unable to be our doctor anymore, I was planning on writing a letter to Lord Matsudaira Katamori, asking him for shelter for my wife and daughter. She would have midwifes and doctors to help her and all the hygiene that a castle could provide, rather than living in a tent. She probably wouldn't be happy with my decision but I would make her obey. Her safety and the little one's were far more important than our desire to stay together.