Disclaimer: I do not own My Hero Academia, RWBY, Soul Eater, Fullmetal Alchemist, Sailor Moon, Magical Lyrical Nanoha, Madoka Magica, Kill La Kill, Bleach, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Cardcaptor Sakura, Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, Dragon Ball Super, Blood Blockade Battlefront, Little Witch Academia, Black Rock Shooter, Hunter x Hunter, JoJo's Bizarre Adventures, and Yuki Yuna is a Hero. They all belong to their respective owners such as Shonen Jump, Studio TRIGGER, CLAMP, Studio Gokumi, Naoko Takeuchi, Yasuhiro Nightow, Monty Oum, Akiyuki Shinbo, Hiromu Arakawa, Atsushi Ohkubo, Hirohiko Araki, Ryohei Fuke, Gen Urobuchi, Akira Toriyama, Tite Kubo, Hiro Mashima and Yoh Yoshinari.
The World of Heroes Heroic Tales
Things not to Do II
Don't call Edward small
Izuku watched as Edward just pummeled the hell out of a villain after said villain made a remark about Edward's height and that had set Edward off like a firecracker in more ways than one. He was using his own alchemy to beat a villain down. By the time some heroes came in, Izuku was already holding Ed back, trying to get Edward to calm down even though he insisted that he was calm while he was totally the exact opposite.
Don't spite Bakugou
Yang was running for her life as the Explosion Murderer pursued her relentlessly, all for a few puns that had set Bakugou off.
"Bakugou! Chill out man!"
"HOW ABOUT I KILL YOU NOW?!"
"How about you don't do that?!"
Satsuki was sipping her tea as usual as Aizawa watched.
'I swear… those two are going to be the death of me…' Aizawa thought.
Do not try to sneak attack Klaus
Klaus quickly grabbed a villain who tried to get at Klaus from behind, but alas, the bigger man was quicker. He grabbed the villain, did a back breaker, followed up with a choke hold, and then threw the man in the air and into a table. Toshinori was impressed at Klaus' reflexes.
"Well… that was fast. Where did you get those reflexes?" Toshinori asked.
"Oh, it's a long story." Klaus said. "A friend of mine tries to attack me from behind, but I managed to thwart his attempts."
"But what about in front of you?"
"Oh, got that one covered too."
Don't let Zoro go to the supermarket
"You let Zoro go to the supermarket?" Satsuki asked.
"Yeah." Edward said. "Is there a problem?"
"Edward, I can't leave the man on a straight path for so much as three seconds, or he'll have no idea where the hell he is going and it'd be impossible to find him." Satsuki said. "He couldn't even work his way out of a maze, no less the freaking supermarket! He has the sense of direction of a goat! A goddamn goat!"
The door opened and Zoro looked like he had gone through ten brawls.
"You look… dandy." Edward said.
"I… now know where the meat is…" Zoro said before passing out.
"Ok, when me and Mami aren't around, Maka is in charge of delegating everything, got it?" Satsuki asked.
"Yes madam…"
Don't touch Jotaro's Hat
Qrow reaches for Jotaro's hat as Jotaro was sleeping.
ORA!
Star Platinum decked Qrow hard in the face, sending him into his chair. Everyone else was snorting. Jotaro wasn't asleep, he was more or less pretending to sleep.
"Good grief Qrow," Jotaro said, "Have some class."
Don't challenge Klaus
A red bloody cross hung over a villain who looked like he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. The cross had a skull on it.
"Brain Grid Blood Battle Technique Pattern 117:" Klaus said, "Kreuzschild Unzerbrechlich (Cross Shield Unbreakable)!"
He threw his arm with a hooking motion, sending the cross into the villain's face. The man was bashed into a store. All Might was… not impressed with the collateral damage that has occurred.
"I'm very sorry about what has happened." Klaus said. "Here, a check to pay for the damages. I calculated the amount correctly."
'Wow… he really does act like a gentleman sometimes…' Toshinori thought.
Don't touch Luffy's hat
Zoro, Sanji, Ussop and Chopper kept themselves away from Sero as he was wearing Luffy's hat.
"Come on guys! You look like you've seen a ghost!" Sero said. "I mean, Luffy wouldn't mind anyone wearing this hat, right?"
Unbeknownst to Sero, an already pissed off Luffy in Third Gear and with a fully stretched out arm covered in Busoshoku Haki was behind him. Sero felt a creeping presence.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?" Sero asked.
He turned to make eye contact with a very livid rubber-man.
"Gomu Gomu no…"
'Oh shit…' Sero thought.
"... ELEPHANT GUN!"
Sero was knocked out of the building in a flash. The hat flew off Sero's head and landed back on Luffy's head. Aizawa looked horrified and took a sip of a beer he was drinking.
'I'm stuck with a bunch of monsters...' Aizawa thought, 'I don't get paid enough for this…'
Don't let Sucy conduct her experiments on anyone
The Cupid Bee struck again. This time, Midoriya was head over heels for Akko, who was beet red.
"CHANGE HIM BACK THIS INSTANT!" Akko said.
"Oh come on Akko, you totally wanted him to be interested in you." Sucy said.
"Well not like this!" Akko said. "And look! The Cupid Bee is already causing more harm than good!"
"GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Bakugou yelled as he pushed Diana back.
"Oh Bakugou…"
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
The whole class was in uproar from all of this commotion caused by the accursed bee. Chariot witnessed everything that was going on.
'Oh no… not this again…' Chariot thought.
Don't try to cheat when Jotaro is around
Star Platinum broke Qrow's finger.
"What the hell Jotaro?! That was uncalled for!" Qrow yelled.
"Don't bullshit me Qrow. You tried to slip the second top card off the deck to deal it to me." Jotaro said, "Bastard… I should have known you'd try to pull that out of your ass."
It was true, the second top card was sticking out.
"Have you no dignity?" Klaus asked.
"That wasn't funny Qrow." Roy said.
"No dignity." Toshinori said.
"Ok so what? I tried to cheat! What's it to you?!" Qrow exclaimed, "At least I don't break someone's finger when they cheat in card games!"
"It means you can't be the dealer." Jotaro said, "Give me the deck."
"Kiss my ass!"
"I could smack you across the room Qrow." Jotaro said, "Don't test me."
Don't anger Narancia
Never before had Izuku seen a very angry Narancia. All because some villain had the balls to go and say smack about a few things that were a bit sensitive to Narancia, he was just kicking an automobile while his stand, Aerosmith, was shooting up the entire store the villain was in despite the fact that there were hostages inside. The villain luckily had a regeneration quirk, but the pain was too much for the man to take and he was writhing on the ground. Izuku was quick to apprehend his Italian colleague before he did something he was going to regret.
"LET ME KILL THE BASTARD!" Narancia said.
"Narancia! Calm down! Calm down!" Izuku said.
"Calm down? YOU'RE TELLING ME TO CHILL OUT?! AFTER WHAT THIS GUY SAID?! I SHOULD FUCKING KILL HIM FOR IT!" Narancia yelled.
"There are cameras!" Izuku said.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" Narancia yelled.
Don't hold Sandai Kitetsu unless you are Zoro
Sayaka held the sword and for a brief moment, her arm suddenly just swung out at Zoro, who was quick to catch the blade before it could make a cut. Sayaka didn't know what came over her when she swung the blade at him or even whether or not she had actually meant to swing it at all. But after Zoro mentioned how much of a 'problem child' it was for him while he was in possession of it, it all made sense. This thing apparently does make the user slash at whoever is close by out of a thirst for blood, which would make sense as it was cursed and she had realized it just after touching the hilt.
Don't try to use Crescent Rose unless you're Ruby
Izuku regretted pulling the trigger on Crescent Rose. The recoil was enough to send him straight into a wall. Bakugou laughed as Ruby rushed over to Izuku.
'How did she manage to wield this monster?' Izuku thought.
"I'm sorry! The recoil is ridiculously strong!" Ruby said.
Don't let Endeavor know about Toshi x Inko
"DID YOU HAVE A SECRET LOVE CHILD WITH THIS WOMAN?!" Endeavor yelled.
"FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUNG MIDORIYA IS NOT MY SON!" Toshinori said.
"YOU LIAR!" Endeavor yelled, "YOU KNEW YOUR POWER WAS ABOUT TO GIVE OUT SO YOU—!"
"DAMNIT ENJI LISTEN TO ME! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Toshinori said, "I ONLY DATED BECAUSE SHE ODDLY RESEMBLED MY MENTOR!"
"YOU THINK I'D BELIEVE THAT?!"
"IT'S TRUE! I SWEAR IT ON MY HORRENDOUS INJURY THAT IT IS THE TRUTH!"
Don't go out with Marie
Qrow looked like he was about to die.
"You tried going out with Marie, didn't you?" Aizawa asked.
"Good grief…" Jotaro said, "We warned you, didn't we?"
"He's not good with following directions." Roy said.
"You should really be careful Qrow. Women can be dangerous." Stein said.
"Especially when they are enraged." Klaus said.
Don't ask where Homura gets her weapons
"I mostly stole them from the Yakuza. Not like they would care where their weapons went." Homura said.
All the girls, except for Sayaka of course, we're concerned about what they just heard.
"Isn't that like, illegal?" Sucy asked.
"Yeah, that does sound illegal." Ami said.
"Should we call the police?" Sakura asked.
"That is a lot of heat you're packing Homura…" Ochako said, "Don't you think this is overkill?"
"She can literally stop time." Blake said, "I'd be more worried about that and her guns."
"Wait, if these are from the Yakuza, why is there a rocket launcher in here?" Makoto asked.
"For self defense."
"Yeah… no."
Don't touch Kaneki's kagune
Kaneki wouldn't stop wincing at the feel of Madoka's hands on his kagune. He didn't know why, but… her hands felt so good on his kagune and she wasn't the least bit frightened.
"Wow… it's so soft and squishy…" Madoka said, "I bet you could massage people with this!"
"Um—! Uh… I don't know about that…" Kaneki said, "I mean… uh…"
"So soft and squishy…" Sayaka said.
"G-Girls… I don't think you should be touching that." Ami said, "What if you cut yourselves?"
"I wonder if he could do that thing with his tentacles!" Mako said.
"What thing with his tentacles?" Ami asked.
"A massage if you get what I mean." Sucy said.
Mami and Satsuki spat out their tea. Kaneki slipped his kagune back into his body.
"Sucy! That is disgusting!" Momo yelled.
"Oh come on, admit it, you girls would totally want to do that with him." Sucy said, "Touka even admitted that he—"
"Breathe one more word, and I will gut you like a carp." Touka said.
"Bet it felt good, didn't it, having those tentacles—"
"SUCY!" Rukia yelled.
"Oh come on girls, admit it, you all want to know how his tentacles feel."
"Please stop calling them that." Kaneki said.
A/N: And thus we bring this tale of mishaps to a close.
Kagune - Soft N Hard
Yeah, it's possible for a kagune to be used for something other than combat just by how hard and soft it is.
Marie and romance
Yeah... she tends to floor it a bit.
Angry Narancia
Just don't piss him off.
Sucy
Yeah, she can be like that.
Ed and his size
Yeah, Ed has this Napoleonic denial of being short. Hell, saying he's short is enough to trigger him if not trying to force him to drink milk.
Jotaro's hat
Jotaro likes his hat where it is. On his head.
Luffy's hat
Originally, it belonged to Shanks until he decided to let Luffy keep it after an incident occured where Shanks lost his arm (and was still a badass with one arm given that he's currently a Yonko). Luffy treasures his hat like he does his friends so its understandable why doing anything to his hat that might damage it is enough to get him angry.
Klaus's ability to deflect sneak attacks
He's a Blood Breed and they have enhanced senses, so it makes sense that a sneak attack on him would be impossible if not extremely difficult.
Brain Grid Blood Battle Technique
Klaus's personal fighting style where he summons his blood and turns them into cross-shaped projectiles meant for defense and offense respectively. He can summon it through a knuckle duster on his right and a glove on his left that can create a barrier by having them in close proximity.
Star Platinum
High accuracy, can see a long distance away, and brute strength. Star Platinum can catch a bullet in milliseconds thanks to how fast his reaction timing is.
Stay tuned folks!
