Nothing ever comes easily.
Part 1
Callie always thought about how it would be if, or more likely when she would see Penny again.
She thought of how guilty she would feel.
For dragging Penny along for all those day, weeks, and months. Of course, if Callie knew how she felt. Like truly and deeply felt, in the pit of her stomach. Callie would never have started a new relationship.
Callie knew she was good at lying to herself, but the relationship with Penny, got out of control faster than expected.
She thought of these ideas often, she knew herself. Callie knew that if she even for a second believed her and Arizona would end up together then she would have stayed in Seattle and worked on things, there, with Arizona.
But honestly and truthfully, Callie never believed that was possible. She knew of course that she would never love someone as deeply and truly as she loved Arizona. They had such a massive past together, they survived shootings, accidents and affairs. They grew together. And they grew apart.
Callie thought often about how different Penny and Arizona were in bed. She would lie awake at night, next to a resting Penny, dreaming about how nice if felt to be so worn out from sex. She would look at the back of Penny's head, and wonder how she would feel if she was alone in bed. Or if someone else was there. Her mind would wander…
Arizona loved taking control, but she also adored it when Callie called the shots. And Callie loved it Arizona would pin her to the bed, and without saying a word they both knew what to do.
They would smile slightly at one another. And within a second Callie would be lying on her stomach, Arizona would bend Callie's legs in the air, holding her ankles. Tightly but gently.
They would start each passionate session, the same way. Callie loved their little ritual. Each encounter with Arizona, was different. But it always started the same.
Arizona loved to tease Callie, but she also loved to tease herself. Callie watched out the corner of her eyes as Arizona rubbed her clit vigorously as she tasted Callie's sweet juices.
Tasting Callie was always the ultimate turn on for Arizona, she loved Callie's figure, she loved her curves. And above all she loved it when they watched one another. They would get eye contact, they would stare into one another eyes, until neither of them could hold out any longer. Arizona would put both of her hands-on top of Callie's perfectly shaped ass, push her face further inside Callie's pussy: gently pushing her tongue further and further inside of Callie. Listening to Callie moan as each movement of her tongue went deeper inside. Their bodies moulded together, as if they knew how to melt together as they came.
But, when she would have sex with Penny, the love was always there. But there wasn't a lot of fire, passionate or raw sexual chemistry. It was good, no question. Callie had worse. But they didn't flow like she was used too. Callie was used to being with a partner, that knew when Callie wanted to be teased, when she wanted to be fucked hard and fast. Someone that knew exactly what to do with her hands to make Callie come, someone that could make Callie come within seconds, but wouldn't stop until she physically couldn't take any more.
Callie decided that her love for Penny was just a different kind of love.
She loved George. So much she even married him. She loved Mark in one way or another. And just because it wasn't the same intensity, as what she had felt for Arizona, didn't dismiss what she felt for Penny. She would convince herself of this, time and time again. Penny was sweet, loving, caring and they shared a lot of similar interests. She loved Sofia and wanted to be a part of her life.
But eventually, once they lived in New York together, the pain and longing for Arizona grew too much, until it exploded. She couldn't hide it any longer.
Their entire relationship was a lie.
Callie was lying to herself, and to Penny. She put her friends, family, and Sofia through hell for nothing. She couldn't understand why she had been so stubborn. She felt so guilty for all the pain and hurt she had caused. But ultimately there was nothing she could do, but trust her own heart.
It was always Arizona.
Everything made sense to Callie once she accepted how she felt. She knew that she had made horrible choices while trying to deny her feelings for Arizona. Everything she did after the divorce, Callie done to hide her true feelings. She didn't want to believe she had ruined her family.
Callie thought for a moment standing next to Arizona, holding her hand, that she wished this woman standing next to Emily was Penny. It would have been easier. It would have been the perfect moment for them to talk. For Penny to get the explanation and apology she deserved from Callie.
She thought of all the things she would say to Penny, the apology she would make to her, for being a horrendous girlfriend, and person. She thought over all the horrible things she had done to Penny and Arizona for that matter in the past year or so. She knew Penny would understand, because Penny was a fair person. Callie didn't know how she felt until she was standing in her apartment defending Arizona to Penny.
But it wasn't Penny of course it wasn't.
That would have been far too simple. Nothing ever comes easily to Callie and Arizona.
Part 2
"Arizona, what is she doing here?" whispered Callie.
"I guess she's Emily's date." Nervously replied Arizona, as she glanced slightly at Callie. She wanted to figure out how she was feeling.
"I guessed that, but how did you not know who she was?"
"She said it was a surprise. I didn't know." Arizona replied weakly,
"Why would she say her date was a surprise? Did she tell you it was someone you knew?"
"No, well… last week Emily told me that her girlfriend knew of Grey Sloan, but she didn't say much more than that!" Arizona said in a timid whisper.
"Why didn't she tell you her name?" Callie was trying to remain calm, but she was growing more and more alarmed.
"She didn't want me to look her up."
"I can't be here right now." Callie said as she tried to turn away from Arizona.
Arizona pulled Callie's arm towards hers, touched Callie's waist and gently pleaded.
"Callie, you cannot walk out of this event, because of her. This is our night. I am sorry that she's here, but you can't leave me here alone."
"Okay I'm here. I'm right here with you. I'm not going anywhere. Sorry baby." Callie kissed Arizona gently on the lisps. They faced forward standing together closely, as Emily and her date approached.
Part 3
"Emily! Hey! How are you doing tonight?" Arizona said, a shaky fake-confidence kind of way.
"I'm great Arizona, why do you sound so weird. You alright?"
"Yeah. I'm great sorry, it's been a long day. Lots of emotions. Lots of things going on."
"If you say so. Anyways this is Lauren."
Arizona nodded slightly in Lauren's direction. Lauren offered out a hand for Arizona to shake, but both Callie and Arizona just looked down at her outstretched arm, then at Lauren's face. They both looked at her with crooked smiles. Neither of them knew what to say, how to act, or even how to stand.
Callie was holding her clutch bag tightly against her chest. She had so much pent up rage for this woman, she never really got to release it. She wasn't mad at Arizona anymore. She knew the reasons, she trusted Arizona. They were together again, they were stronger for it. But that didn't mean Callie was ever going to alright with Lauren Boswell standing right in front of her. Callie watched as Lauren awkwardly made small talk between herself, Arizona and Lauren. Callie had zoned out almost completely until she heard Lauren mention Grey Sloan.
She shook her head slightly then began listening again to the conversation.
"Sorry Arizona, are you upset with me, because I was so late this evening? I'm so sorry. I was going to leave, but you said I should wait on Lauren."
It was in that moment, Arizona realised, Emily didn't know how Lauren knew of Grey Sloan. She wasn't sure if she should even tell Emily. After all she was her employee, but Arizona had come to see Emily as a friend. She didn't want to keep this from Emily. And Arizona knew, Emily would find out eventually. These things always have away of coming out one way or another.
"Everything's fine. I promise, honestly. It's just been a really long night."
"I thought tonight would be a wonderful night to introduce you too."
"Actually honey. We have all met before actually at Grey Sloan. I was there for a few weeks, a year or two ago. I can't remember the case exactly... But I can definitely remember Dr. Robbins. A FINE surgeon."
Arizona laughed awkwardly, to defuse the building tension.
"Thanks, I guess."
"Oh, how wonderful Lauren, I am so glad you get along. I thought you were both so very similar people. I think I've heard both of you describe yourself as 'A' type personalities!" Emily laughed, but stopped quickly as she noticed she was the only one laughing.
"What are the odds of that, eh Dr. Robbins?" Asked Lauren in a flirtatious tone.
Emily pretended not to notice what Lauren has said,
"I was hoping we could all double date sometime."
Callie and Arizona looked at one another. They let out an awkward laugh. That comment, was too much for Callie or Arizona not to react to. Emily looked absolutely confused. She just watched Arizona's reactions. Then said in a more serious formal sounding tone
"Sorry am I missing something here?! Do I have pigeon crap on my head or something? You both have been acting weird since the moment we arrived- "
"-Okay Emily. Calm down. Sorry about that. Okay here's the thing, has Arizona ever spoke to you about our rollercoaster relationship?"
"Yeah, I think I know the highlights" Emily replied, with a worried look on her face.
"Well…how do I put this without sounding jealous and spiteful?" Callie uttered and she glanced at Arizona.
"It's okay, I can tell her. I know Lauren, from Seattle. I slept with Lauren when she came to Grey Sloan on a case. She's the person I cheated on Callie with."
Emily stood silently for a moment. Then began to laugh.
"You guys are joking. I figured you might have known each other. But this is a joke. Right?"
"I'm afraid not, your girlfriend here, slept with my wife."
"From what I hear she your ex-wife now." Lauren chuckled.
Arizona and Emily stepped back slightly as Lauren and Callie's eyes met. Callie began to stare Lauren down. She didn't want to be the first one to look away.
Callie stepped forward. Then again.
And again.
Until she was right in front of Lauren. She moved her face close to Lauren's right ear and whispered,
"You are SO lucky. SO very, very lucky. That we are at a formal event. An event with my family and daughter. An event to celebrate my WIFE. If you want to be here with Emily, and celebrate with her, then, fantastic, you run along and do that… But let's be clear if make one more remark like that, I will not be so understanding."
Callie took a step back, patted Lauren on the arm, and playfully said,
"Now run along..."
She smiled at Lauren. Then turned and walked over to Arizona.
Lauren walked over to Emily. Emily looked like she was going to explode with anger, embarrassment and disappointment.
Arizona kissed Callie on the lips, she smiled at her while putting her arms around her neck.
"What did you say to her?"
"That doesn't matter. This is your night Arizona, and she wouldn't ruin it."
"You are incredible Calliope."
Callie kissed the back of Arizona hand then replied.
"I love you too… I think we both need a drink. What do you think?"
"You deserve a double. Let's go."
Arizona replied as she walked towards the bar holding tightly onto Callie's hand and forearm.
