STAN

I nuzzle my pillow feeling really warm. I love that we have a fireplace in the house. I almost wish there was one in our bedroom with the cold winters we have here in Colorado. The house has an excellent installation that Kyle and I updated 8 years ago. I reach out to cuddle Kyle but grab nothing but the sheets. Did he get up to go make breakfast? I open my eyes glancing at the side of the bed he usually sleeps to the right of me. I see Kyle in his cat form laying on his side. I don't recall kissing him….I grab Kyle and he feels a little cold.

"Kyle…." I say softly. I continue to stare at him lay there noticing he still has his ring on. It's around his middle paw finger. "Kyle….." I don't hear a response from him making me grab his face forcing him to look at me. His eyes are closed. I notice immediately he isn't breathing. "Kyle, please wake up!" Now I'm beginning to panic. Deep down I already know what has happened but I don't want to accept it. I cradle Kyle in my arms as I start crying. "Noooo! We had 2 more years, two more years." I don't know how long I'm sitting there. I hear banging at my door almost pulling me out my despair. I ignore it as I hold Kyle trying to get my mind right but I can't. My love is gone. The banging on the door continues for a moment before finally stopping. Not long after the knocks at my front door my phone begins to ring. I slowly glance at my phone seeing it is Kenny. "H-hello…."

"Stan what's wrong?" asked Kenny. "I'm outside, we were suppose to hang out today. You sound terrible though. I can just hang out in the guest room if you guys don't want company." You guys…..as in me and Kyle. I begin crying alerting Kenny. "Stan! Stan come open the door!" After several minutes of crying, I finally make my way to the door with Kyle cradled in my arms. I sniffle as I open the door with Kenny coming inside quickly closing the door. "What the hell is going on?"

"Kyle…." I cry. I feel like I can't even talk. I want to but it's so hard to stop my tears. "He's gone….." Kenny glances at Kyle in my arms.

"A-are you sure?" he asked.

"I woke up a-and he was in cat form…." I explain through sniffles. "I know I didn't kiss him last night. He should still be in his human form. He isn't breathing. He's already cold." I hug Kyle closer to my chest wanting him to come back to life and start moving again. Kenny looks sad but nothing can describe how I feel right now.

"Let's go sit down," says Kenny touching my shoulder. He guides me to the living room.

"I just talk to him…" I muttered. "Last night….."

"You knew your time was limited," says Kenny. "Think about all the extra years you got." I glare at Kenny almost getting angry. I must remind myself this isn't his fault.

"What happened to 20 years!" I screamed. "I was told we would get 20 years! We were planning to spend time with Ike's children! We had so much more to do." Kenny signs.

"You have to remember Damien is the son of the devil," says Kenny. "There is always a catch with what he does. I mean look at me. My curse was finally lifted. I didn't have to worry about dying anymore. However, I'm alone. I couldn't find not one person to love me." Kenny looks down for a moment like he is still upset about that. "This isn't about me though. I know Kyle was prepared for this." More than prepared. Kyle and I have money set aside for his nephew and soon to be niece or nephew. We set up a Will in my name of course. The house will go to Ike and Karen and their children. I have my banking account going to my sister's children. It was really hard trying to figure out who would have what. I felt like Ike and Karen was more deserving of the house. I lean down kissing Kyle's fur.

"God this hurts so much…" I mutter into the fur.

"I know," says Kenny. "Kyle was your mate, your husband. It's going to be difficult." I nuzzle my face into his fur that still smells like Kyle. "Did you want to have a ceremony?"

"I don't know….." I replied. "Kyle and I are suppose to be buried together."

"What do you mean?" asked Kenny a little confused.

"I purchased my grave site already," I explain.

"What!" exclaims Kenny. "That is a bit extreme."

"It's not," I reply. "It will be less money for my family to spend on me." I begin to stroke Kyle's fur because it is calming to me. "I'm going to bury Kyle in our backyard. When I die, he needs to be dug up and laid back to rest with me." I can tell that Kenny wants to say more but doesn't.

"Okay," he says slowly. "Um….what can I do?" I sigh.

"I know you spent a lot of gas coming up here," I explain. "I'm just not in the mood….do whatever you want." I stand up wobbling a little. Kenny rushes over to me. "I don't need any help!" I quickly head upstairs to my room. I lay back down in the bed holding Kyle close to me. I don't want to put him down. "Kyle…."

A WEEK LATER

I had laid Kyle to rest after 2 days of his passing. It was really hard as I didn't want to let him go, physically and mentally. I told myself I wouldn't be this whiny crying guy because we did get extra time together. Most people would have done anything to get extra years with the person they love. Is any amount of time enough when it is your soul mate? Kenny and I had a small ceremony for him. I got his favorite flowers outside although I know they will die quickly because of the cold.

I still cry myself to sleep at night. I wonder how long that is suppose to last, my grief, I don't know… I took the next month off from work because I need to get myself together before I can continue. Most of my clients are regular. They understand that I lost my partner. They knew I was married but didn't know to who. The good thing about them being my clients is they knew not to pry. I finally managed to drift off to sleep after lying away for hours. Now here I'm tossing and turning halfway through the night. It's going to be one of those nights. It has been like this ever since I lost Kyle. I turn over on my back staring at the ceiling wondering what he is doing right now in the afterlife. I wonder if I should still go to Italy? I think it would make me sad though. I glance over at our TV to see Kyle standing there.

"Kyle!" I scream sitting up. My heart is jumping in my chest. He smiles at me as he makes his way over to me. You think I would be scared but I'm not. I don't know if this is real or not.

"Stan…" he says softly once in front of me. He sits down on my side of the bed. I swear I could feel the bed shift.

"Are you here?" I ask fighting back tears. I feel his warm hand on the side of my face.

"I'm here," he says softly with tears flowing down his face. He hugs me tightly as I hug him back feeling his flesh against mine. I start crying, I feel like I can't stop once I start. Kyle finally pulls out of the hug once I have calmed down. "How are you?"

"I'm hurting….." I admit. "I miss you Ky."

"I know," says Kyle. I stare in those green eyes seeing the age in them. My eyes track over his face before hugging him again. If this is a dream I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it. I feel Kyle chuckle lightly as if he knows what I'm thinking. I pull out of the hug pulling him to my lips. His lips are soft, juicy, even a little wet, I know this is real when I hear him groan. "Stan…..ahh…..haa…" I pull away to study him. He…he isn't in cat form.

"H-how is this possible?" I asked with my mind starting to race. After Damien brought Kyle back I'm not doubting that Kyle isn't really here. Kyle takes my hand leading me to stand up. He guides to the door to leave our bedroom. He turns me around. I see myself lying in bed. I blink several times in shock. The vision isn't changing. I'm in bed sleep. What is going on? Is this an out of body experience? I mean maybe that is why I can see Kyle. "Is that me?"

"Yeah," says Kyle sadly. I walk over to myself in bed to get a better look. I'm sleep. "You passed away in your sleep last night." I turn to look at Kyle in surprise.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked. "I'm only 42! How could this have happened?" Kyle grabs my hand gazing at me seriously.

"I think you died of a broken heart," explains Kyle. "I knew me passing away would be tough on you, but I didn't think it would have been that hard. I was still here with you. I refuse to leave you alone. God said I could wait for you. I'm glad he allowed me to stay here, watch over you. I appreciate you visiting my grave, talking to me every day." I sniffle holding back tears feeling overwhelmed. I spoke to him every single day. Kyle is on my mind always. He is apart of me. "I didn't know you were going to go this quickly. I thought I was going to be watching over you for a while." I glance back down at my body sorrowfully but at the same time, I'm happy to be with Kyle.

"How is God?" I ask curiously looking back at Kyle.

"He's really nice," chuckles Kyle. "At least we know it was bull crap saying God hates gays." I begin to laugh with him when I see light outside our window. This bright light that wasn't there before. "That's for us, come on." Kyle and I head downstairs going out the back door that leads into our backyard. Beyond our garden, I see nothing but bright white lights. Although Kyle is by my side I'm scared. He senses this squeezing my hand. "Don't be afraid. It's so wonderful there."

I feel bad as I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone. I never saw this coming at all. I squeeze Kyle's hand back with my mind racing. I'm sure someone will find me after a day or two. Kyle looks at me smiling.

"I'm sorry your time was short," he says. "But I'm glad you're here with me."

"Me too," I replied as we walk forward into the light to enjoy our afterlife together.