Fragments in itallics are used to dive into specific characters' heads throughout the narrative.
Chapter 22: "A Failed System"
"Ben, we've noticed… some things…" Han said. He and Ben were walking by a hangar bay in Organa City. Han had just picked up Ben from school and was taking him to Leia's office, so they'd tell him the decision they'd come to with Luke just a day earlier.
"He's about to say it…" a voice said in Ben's head, "He's about to abandon you because he thinks you're a monster".
No! That's not gonna happen.
"We love you," Han said.
"They hate you".
"We've seen what you can do with… your mind, I guess…" Han rambled.
"They're afraid of you".
No way! Don't think that!
"Look, we want what's best for you…" Han continued. They'd just reached the elevator and entered.
"Don't you know what's best for you?"
I do, but it's okay, they know too.
"W- We don't want you… to think we're trying to hurt you…" Han said, patting his son's shoulder. Ben looked up at him, but Han never looked back to his son. He felt shame.
Why isn't he looking at me? What did I do wrong?
The elevator opened up on a large office, at the center of which were Leia and Luke. There were many windows, but the outside was all blocked by blinds.
"Mom, what's going on?!" Ben asked, running to his mother and hugging her. Luke and Leia looked at each other. They knew this would be hard, "I heard you say I would kill you!" the boy cried.
"What?" Leia asked, shocked that Ben had heard them.
"They think you're a monster".
"I'm not a monster!" Ben yelled into his mother's jacket, still hugging her.
"No, you're not," Luke said, getting on one knee to be face-to-face with his nephew, "That's not-".
"Don't lie to me," Ben said, turning to his uncle, "She thinks I'm a monster".
"No…" Luke tries to say, covering up her sister's fear, but Leia interrupts him.
"I said I was afraid that he was a monster in the making," Leia admits; Ben looks up to see her face, and she turns to see his, "Because you're powerful, and you don't know it yet, but power like that can be turned against you and against all of us," Han sighs silently, fearing where all of this will go, "You're right to be angry. We should've told you about this, and not talked about this behind your back… But this isn't because of you… It's to protect you". Leia kneeled and hugged her son. Ben regained some peace and stopped crying briefly. If only there wasn't a voice whispering in his ear.
"Of course it's not because of you. They don't see you as a person".
What?
"Protect you from whom? They're the only three people you see on a daily basis".
Well…
"Are you okay now?" Leia asked.
No.
"Yeah," he responded, "I'm fine".
"Your uncle will train you to become a Jedi," Han finally said, "Like he is".
"Do you want that?"
No… well, I don't know, actually.
"Why?" Ben asked.
"You have the Force in your veins," Han explained, "Or something. If he doesn't train you to be a Jedi, someone will take advantage of you and make a monster out of you".
"Surely all of these grown ups know what the right thing is".
Don't they?
"Liars. They probably fear you realizing they've failed and turning against them".
"… When do we start?" Ben asked.
"When we get to Yavin-4," Luke responded, "We're taking my ship down in the hangar bay".
"What ship is it?" Ben asked, trying to distract himself from the questions his mind was raising, "For four people?"
The three adults in the room didn't respond. They just looked elsewhere. Luke finally got direct.
"Jedi training requires being separated from your parents," Luke explained, "It's important. It's no easy path. This is something that goes back thousands of years. You'll see".
Separating us? Why?
"That'll keep them protected from you".
That'll protect them from me, I suppose.
"You'll see them again when the time comes," Luke said, nodding at his nephew, trying to get him optimistic, "We will all be together again in no time, don't worry…" Ben could barely hide the frustration and disappointment, "We are always with you".
"You're alone"
Years later, the boy had grown up, but those words still rang true. He was still unmoving on the ground of a distant planet, completely powerless. He just growled and roared. What was the point of any of this?
"Hello?!" an old man's voice was heard.
The boy's eyes opened in shock. Who was this? Could he be saved? Could Kylo Ren return? Would this man recognize him? If so, what would happen to him? Would he be able to save himself?
"Here!" the boy yelled. Out of the woods, came an old man, with dark, reddish skin, wearing beige clothing and a brown vest, carrying a small backpack.
"Oh, bless!" the man screamed, in surprise and relief. He rushed to the boy and quickly pulled out a small water tank, giving him some of it. The boy coughed after that. Even some dirt came out of his mouth. He slowly got back to a somewhat stable breath, "The creator works in strange ways. How long have you been here?" the man asks.
"I don't know," Ben responds almost automatically, "… days…".
"Well, you're lucky it's been raining," the man adds, brushing off Ben's aggressiveness, "My name is Burnhar… what's yours?".
"You don't know who I am?" the boy asks.
"Are you royalty?" Burnhar asks him back.
What name should I give? Should I out myself and threaten him? No, you can barely stand! Use him. Take advantage of him. He could be useful.
"My name is Ben," he responds.
"Pleasure to meet you," Burnhar adds, "Now, put your left arm over my shoulders," he says as he moves Ben's arm to get him into that very position. Ben growls some, and clenches his right fist as a defense mechanism, but ultimately he settles back. He can barely keep his back straight. He coughs again.
"Do you have a ship?" Ben asks. The two of them begin making their way slowly through the woods.
"No," Burnhar responds, "I take it you're not a local, then?".
"No!" Ben fires back, "Or… where are we? Why did you jump to that conclusion?".
"Neast," Burnhar answers, "We haven't really… had ships here… in a while…".
"That name sounds familiar," Ben says, "Where have I heard it?".
"The massacre," Burnhar guesses, "probably".
Of course… Luckily, it's almost general knowledge. My cover hasn't been blown. Must be more careful, still.
"Where are we going?" Ben asks.
"To the village," Burnhar responds, "I live there. As do… some thirty people, maybe".
"Survivors of the massacre," Ben guesses, "I take it".
"That's right, son," Burnhar answers. Something twists inside of Ben's stomach when he hears that last word, "Literally the only survivors, plus two kids".
"And you've survived for four years?" Ben asks, referencing the Neast massacre four years earlier, back when he was just entering the First Order.
"It's not easy," Burnhar admits, "but it's necessary," they finally exit the dense woods, and there is still a large, open field in front of them.
"How far is the village?" Ben asks, hoping to be pleasantly surprised by the answer.
"Oh, it's still far away," Burnhar responds, "You'll be able to see it when we're closer".
That means I'll have to force myself to talk for a while longer… That'll be a real bother.
"Tell me about yourself, Ben," Burnhar says as they continue to limp along the field.
"No," Ben responds, "You talk first," he adds, commandingly.
"Well, I've lived here my whole life," Burnhar starts to reminisce, "I am a native. I was hidden by my children during the massacre. They wanted me to make it… it's a terrible burden, but I honor it every day".
Galaxies away, Rey and Poe walk through the town, handing out flyers.
"Hey, sir, good morning," Poe tells a seven-foot tall being with fangs and massive cheeks, whose shoulder he bumps, "Don't you wish you could choose who rules over you? Don't you wish you could deci-?" Poe is interrupted by the tall being pushing the flyers off of Poe's hand, turning around, and walking away, "Hey, thanks for your time!".
Rey helps Poe pick up the flyers.
"This isn't working," he says, looking tired, "I must've talked to thirty people today, and only six of them have not immediately thrown away my flyers!".
"For me, it's been twenty four and five… you know, respectively", Rey says, looking to try to be hopeful, "Which means we could be looking to adding eleven people to our team!".
"Rey, this is just…" Poe looks like he's losing all motivation, "It's gonna fail, tremendously… and we're gonna die before it fails, probably".
"Come on…" Rey can't even complete any kind of motivational response.
"I'm surprised no Stormtroopers have caught on to us yet," Poe admits, "They'll kill us if they see this". Rey shrugs her shoulders.
"Hey, uh…" Poe says, strugglingly, "You're someone who likes to talk, right?".
"Sorry?" Rey asks.
"There's something I need to tell somebody, and…" he says as he puts the flyers inside a pocket in his blue jacket, "Maybe it's you".
"I think I'm the one you know the least out of all of us," Rey comments, "I'm not saying 'no', but…".
"No, but that's okay, that's…" Poe loses the confident look he usually has on his face, "That's good. Most people know an incomplete version of me. You just met me, so maybe it's my chance to get someone to know the full picture".
"All right," Rey says, also hiding inside her jacket the flyers she held, "I'm here, listening, then".
"Let's go somewhere more private," Poe suggests, putting on his hood, and Rey does the same, "this could draw attention".
Back in Neast, Ben wakes up still being held by Burnhar.
"What happened?" Ben asks, aggressively, "What did you do?!" he insists, pulling himself away and falling to the ground pathetically, in front of Burnhar.
Did he knock me out?
"Hey, you passed out a while back," Burnhar clarifies, "I was hoping you'd wake up soon," he points to something behind Ben, "We're here". Ben turns and sees a small and humble village, with some fifteen modestly built stone houses, in an environment with a little grass and short trees.
This is it? So there really are no ships here?
"What is this?" Ben asks.
"Did you expect a metropolis?" Burnhar asks, cheerfully, "I told you; there are thirty four of us who live here… thirty five, if you join us".
"You th-" Ben is about to ask, but he feels something hard inside his chest and faints.
Poe and Rey reach an elevated and lonely cliff. It's the middle of the day. They sit down on the edge beside each other, their legs hanging off.
"So those were some quiet minutes we just had," Rey says, "You were busy planning out what you would say, I imagine?".
"I still am," Poe admits, his eyes lost, "It's tough… you want to say something big and unexpected and important about yourself… and all you feel is that, once you say it out loud, it will change your whole world in seconds. It's like…" he looks down to his knees and finally comes back to reality, "like pushing your old self off a cliff".
"I'm listening," Rey says. She knows he's trying to postpone his own idea. Poe takes a deep breath.
"Look, there are things about me that… if they were known, I'd b- I'd be… you know… hunted by the First Order, e- even if I wasn't a Rebel," Poe says, "Have you ever read the First Order's manifesto? It was co-written by Hux's dad".
"That's a strange way to change the subject," Rey says, "But no, never".
"Well," Poe again gets nervous, "it basically says 'We're the First Order, and we hate these people and we fight for these other people', you know?". Rey nods, "So, for example, that manifesto declares droids as slaves… and we all, even us Rebels, actually agree with that. We shouldn't, but it's been said and done for a really long time, so it's a part of who we are".
"We should stop doing that," Rey nods again, "Yeah".
"There are other things that the manifesto declares," Poe continues, "That may seem awful, and actually are awful, but that most people around the galaxy still agree with, because they've been said and done for a long time".
"As long as people believe in those things," Rey attempts to guess Poe's next point, "The First Order will continue to exist in some form… right?".
"Right… really, the First Order is just the Empire's ideology branded differently," Poe says, "If we beat this Palpatine guy, there's every chance that some new, old man with grey skin comes along and leads… I don't know, the Second Order? What we need to do is attack those core things that keep the First Order and its predecessor in power, right?". Poe then remains quiet, nodding to himself.
"But how does this affect your identity personally?" Rey outright asks, "That is not what you wanted to get off your chest".
"Right…" Poe exhales, deeply, "Look… the First Order has its… image… the people it considers to be worthy… they all look like Hux. Human. Very much a light skin tone… like me…".
"Yeah…" Rey nods.
"And, of course, for most around the galaxy… they don't agree that such people are superior to everyone else!" Poe finally completes a sentence again, "But a majority does agree with the First Order on people who are…" he can barely get the words out, "… inferior… people whose lives aren't worth as much… they're rarely even called 'people'. So, again, droids, but also…". Poe can't finish the sentence.
"But also…?" Rey asks.
"But also… people who…" Poe searches for a way to describe it aptly, "Men who love men… women who love women… I'm not even sure there's a term for such cases… it's easier to erase us when we don't have a name…".
"You're in love with a man?" Rey asks, smiling, excitedly.
"Why do you seem happy?" Poe asks, genuinely confused, "You're not… scared of me? Uncomfortable?". He almost shakes. His skin is cold.
"I don't buy into that…" Rey admits, "Love is love. I don't think there's any real reason to hate people for whom they love". Poe exhales once again, this time in relief, "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this".
"Yeah," Poe continues to shake, "I've never told anyone that". His body seems frail, almost breaking. Rey grabs Poe's head and rests it on her shoulder. A few tears drop down his cheeks.
"So is it Finn?" Rey asks, playfully.
"Yeah," Poe responds, "I mean, there's been a few before… that no one knew about…" Poe laughs nervously, still caught up in his tears, "But yeah, it is Finn. But the point isn't just that. It's… I'm not normal. Usually, people would hear what I said and put me behind bars or… in forced labor… or worse".
"That's why we're fighting," Rey says, "To end the hate".
I hate them. I hate them for making him feel this way. He's not a monster and they've almost convinced him that he is… but also… how much can they really be blamed, if the whole world around them tells them to believe those things? Are they really monsters if they're just doing what they think is right? If so, then that should mean it can change… maybe…
And, galaxies away, back on Neast, someone else who sees himself as a monster lies down on a bed, inside a warm, humble room, covered in sheets and with cooling bags over his face, to counter inflammations. He wakes up and sees a green-skinned child up on the bed, watching him.
"Leave!" Ben says, with the little voice he has.
"Who are you?" the child asks in a high-pitched voice.
"Why do you care? Leave!" Ben insists.
"I'm Wille," the child says, remaining positive, "and y-".
"Leave, kid!" Ben interrupts him. Wille is scared off by this, and climbs off the bed, then runs off to the door and exits. Ben notices that Burnhar was sitting near the door this whole time, watching him.
"Well, that was not very nice," Burnhar says, as he stands up and begins walking toward the bed.
"I don't want your judgment," Ben responds, coldly, "Leave".
"Look, son," Burnhar says. That last word again makes Ben feel something inside of himself, "We're tending to your wounds. We'll come feed you in a few hours. No one here is getting paid for this, so please just don't give them any real reason not to help you".
"What are you saying?" Ben asks, challengingly.
"I'm saying that you're not behaving too well," Burnhar explains, now being just an arm's length away from Ben's face, "And people will get tired of helping you if you're like that. At the very least, three rules for you…".
Why is he talking to me like he has any authority over me? I could choke him right now.
"Rule number one is to say 'please', say 'thank you', say 'hello', and say 'goodbye' to everyone," Burnhar says, raising one finger.
Right now. With my mind. I could twist his neck and end this annoyance. It's inconsequential.
"Rule number two is to try not to give people orders, and if you do, don't be too aggressive with them," Burnhar continues, lifting a second finger, "No one is here to attack you, so there's no need to defend yourself".
It's not wise. He's my advocate here. I need to be fed and healed, at least. After that, it's his neck. Then all of the Knights'. Then Rey. Then Hux.
"Rule number three is to not tell people to shut up," he lifts a third finger, "Listen to them. They're here to help you; the least you can do is make them feel respected. They have very little to do here, so most of the time they just tell their incredible, sometimes breathtaking stories. And try to remember names, too".
I hate him.
"Just three very rudimentary rules, and you'll be fed and treated adequately," Burnhar says, "Can I count on you to follow them?".
I'll kill him, but right now I do have a use for him. Compromise, then.
"Yes, Burnhar," Ben nods, "I will do as you say".
"Very good," Burnhar says, smiling, walking off to the door, "I knew there was a spark in you, son". Ben's insides churn, "I know that that spark will eventually get you out of here". Burnhar closes the door behind him. Ben stays alone. It's how he's always been, right?.
Far away, GL-5002 and RX-2008 arrive at a small room with twenty two other Stormtroopers. They shut the door behind them.
"All right, it's coded now," GL says, "We're safe here".
"Good," RX says, "I summoned you here because you're the ones we've noticed are doubtful and distrustful of the First Order. For a variety of reasons, all of us in this room feel like we don't belong here anymore". GL takes off his helmet. The Stormtroopers watching them wear theirs, so their expression can't be seen, but it's clear from their body language that this isn't something they expected, and it's not something they're used to.
"My designation is GL-5002," he says, "But my name will be Dameson. I remember vaguely that my parents said that name once, so I have decided that I will honor the memory of who I was before the First Order took control of my life".
"And I will be Rex," RX says, "Honestly, I just like the sound of it for some reason. So… the point is we've decided what our names will be, we've decided who we're gonna be, and we want you to do the same. Take off your helmets, and take a new name. Any name! Just… don't let the First Order control your life and identity anymore".
Slowly, they start taking off their helmets and revealing their true selves.
"See?" Rex asks, "This is what happens when we show our faces in an environment that sees us as the people we are… the First Order doesn't think of us like that".
"We get our hands dirty for it," Dameson adds, "And we die out there for it… and we're nothing to them".
"Neither is anyone in the galaxy!" a Stormtrooper sitting down says.
"Can you repeat that?" Rex asks him; he wasn't expecting this kind of participation. He has no idea where the discussion is going.
"What they did to us is awful," the trooper deepens, "But it's not too different from what they do and what they make us do to everyone around the planet. We've been spreading violence and death everywhere for years! If we hate the First Order, and I think we do, we need to look beyond our own pain," Rex looks to be having a revelation. He had never thought of it like that, but it all feels true, "My name," he says as he stands up, "is Nino. That's how we said 'kid' in my native tongue, I remember. Many called me that. We have to fight. We have to destroy the First Order".
