*Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much.*
AMARI:
The sun is shining all around me, the weather just perfect as I am in a field of flowers; pink flowers, yellow flowers, purple flowers, the birds chirping a beautiful song as they fly through the air, hummingbirds fly around the flowers. I look down and see that I have both of my legs again, I rub my eyes believing that I am seeing things, I try to remove my leg but it's attached like it was before the doctor took it away. I smile as I start to dance to the soft music from the birds pretending I am a beautiful ballerina, my white dress that falls to my knees twirls with me as I turn, my hair, my beautiful dark hair back to the middle of my back it sways in the wind as I dance. I feel healthy, strong, better than I have for the last couple months, I feel pretty again, I feel normal. I giggle and laugh as I dance in the sun, skipping through the soft breeze stopping to pick the flowers around me. I stop as I see a man standing before me, wearing an army uniform, his dark hair cut nicely in a buzz cut, I know this man, I remember this man. He's wearing combat boots contrast to my bare feet, I can smell him, a smell I remember, he turns around extending his hand out to me. "Daddy?" I ask him as he smiles at me.
"Yes, Amari," he says with a smile. "It's me."
"Does this mean I went to Heaven?" I ask.
"No, Amari, this is the in between, do you see how beautiful the in between is? Just imagine what's on the other side," he smiles.
"What does the in between mean?" I ask.
"Come with me, Princess Mari, we have a lot to talk about," he says taking my hand. I missed him calling me Princess Mari, he has always called me his princess. I follow him through the field of flowers. I hear fresh water flowing as we come to a beautiful stream of water with beautiful waterfalls almost like in New York. My daddy takes a seat on the biggest rock I have ever seen and lifts me up to his lap. "I miss you, Mommy and Gatsby," he says, "I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye to you."
"Why did you leave us, Daddy?"
"I didn't want to leave you," he says, "It was not my choice, it was God's choice. I wanted to come home and be with you three but God called me home."
"But I miss you," I say.
"I miss you too but I watch over you every day. I keep you safe every day," he says. "Just because I left doesn't mean I went anywhere. I'm always right by your side, and if you need me I'm always here, I'm always with you and if you can't see me at night just close your eyes, say a prayer and I will be right there. I'm always with you, Mommy and Gatsby," he says.
"But I got sick, Daddy. Why did I get sick?"
"I know Princess Mari, I know you got sick because I have sat in with you on every treatment, I have hugged you every night you cried and laid with you every time you were sick, I have been to every surgery and I know you're sick and I'm sorry you got sick. Things happen that we can't control sometimes good and sometimes bad. Just like I still don't understand why God chose to bring me to Heaven but everything happens in God's time and in God's plan. He has a plan for your life too."
"Am I going to die, Daddy?" I ask.
"I can't say yes and I can't say no because the only one that knows the answer is God. I just want you to know that when the time comes not to be afraid, Heaven is the most beautiful place, it's more beautiful than you could ever imagine. I will be right there waiting for you but what I do know is that things are going to happen, things are going to get tough but I promise the pain won't last long, I promise things will get better. I know you're a fighter and I know you're strong but Amari the time is coming where you're going to need to stop fighting, you're going to need to let go but don't be afraid, I was afraid, I was scared but when I got to Heaven it was the most beautiful place in the world, all the pain I felt, all my injuries were gone just like your leg has come back and your hair has come back in your pain is gone when you come to Heaven it will be just like that."
"Am I coming to Heaven soon?" I ask.
"I'm sorry, Amari but it's going to be soon," he says as he hugs me tight and I start to cry. "But it's okay you and me will be together, we'll watch over Mommy and Gatsby together and your baby brother," he says.
"A brother?" I ask, "Mommy has a baby boy in her tummy?"
"She does," he smiles, "you're going to have a baby brother."
"I am so happy! I want a baby brother more than anything," I say.
"I know," he says, "You will be a great big sister."
"I know," I say. "Mommy is getting married."
"I know," he says, "I made sure that she found someone that would love her like I love her, someone that will treat her the way I have treated her and love you and Gatsby the way I love you. I'm glad to see Mommy is finally happy, she deserves all the happiness. I wish it was with me but I love to see her happy I always have. Joe is the best for her and he's the best for you," he says. "I just want you to know Amari that I love you and the time is coming when you're going to come to Heaven but the first person you're going to see is me, I will be there just like I have always been there," he says before kissing my cheek.
Before I know it I am awake in my bed looking up at the ceiling. I have tears in my eyes from seeing my daddy. I feel for my hair and it's gone again, I feel for my leg and it's not there anymore. Everything is gone and I am back in my home, in my bed and in my room. My daddy is still gone, I'm still sick. I start to cry and scream for my mommy.
"Amari," she says as she comes into the room turning on the light. "What's wrong?"
"I saw Daddy!" I cry. "I saw Daddy!"
"When did you see Daddy? Are you feeling okay?"
"In the in between," I say, "It was beautiful, he talked to me, Mommy. He said that soon I am going to go to Heaven and soon I won't be hurt anymore. I had my hair and my leg was back. He still looked the same. He said I'm going to have a baby brother and that even though he left he's still always here with us."
"Amari, it sounds like you had a beautiful dream," she says.
"It wasn't a dream, Mommy, it was real!" I argue.
"Amari, I think it was just a dream and Daddy came to visit you," she says, "I never heard of the in-between."
"That doesn't mean it doesn't exist!" I protest, "I know it was real, he hugged me, he kissed me it was real! And I miss Daddy!"
"I miss Daddy too," she says hugging me. "I miss him a lot."
"He said that he sent Joe to us because he wanted you to be happy and that he wants you to always be happy."
She smiles at me, "I think God sent Joe to us, Daddy may have helped but I am sure that God brought Joe into our lives."
"Daddy also said that I am getting a baby brother," I say.
"Well, we still have a few days to find that out but maybe so."
"I hope so. I really want a baby brother."
"We will see what happens," she says with a smile. "I want a baby boy too but are you okay now, Mari?"
"Yes, Mommy, can you lay with me?"
"Absolutely," she says as she lays down next to me. I close my eyes as I feel her softly rubbing my back. I slowly fall asleep.
LATER THAT DAY: MADDEN
"I don't know, Joe, she said that her dad met her at the in-between last night. She was really upset. She said that Wyatt told her that he wanted to see me happy and told her that we were having a baby boy."
"I wouldn't mind a baby boy but as long as the baby is healthy that's all that matters to me. And it's possible that he did make contact with her, you don't believe that he made contact with her?" Joe asks me.
"I think it was just a very vivid dream and she misses her dad so much that he came to visit her in a dream but I never heard of the in-between. I think it was just a very vivid dream."
"You never know," he says, "you don't believe that Wyatt could have done that?"
"I don't know has Kate ever come to visit you?" I ask.
"No, has Wyatt ever come to visit you?" he asks.
"No but she said that Wyatt told her that she was going to go to Heaven soon," I say with tears in my eyes. "I'm hoping that was just a dream."
"I hope so too, she has her whole life ahead of her," he says. "Let's see what Dr. Anderson has to say."
"Hopefully it's good news," I say. "I can't handle any more bad news."
"I know and the less stress you have the better for you and the baby," he rubs my back as we are waiting for Dr. Anderson to give us an update on Amari and on her health. I'm hoping for good news from her recent scans and she's been getting her radiation so hopefully there's been some improvement. The last time we talked to Dr. Anderson it wasn't good news so I am just hoping for a little change in her condition.
"Madden," says the nurse, "Dr. Anderson is ready to talk to you," she says.
"Okay," I say as I stand up. Joe stands up with me and we follow the nurse to Dr. Anderson's office.
"Madden and Joe," he says as we enter his office, "Please have a seat."
"Okay," I say.
Joe and I take a seat in the two chairs across from Dr. Anderson as he sits at his desk. I see Amari's file up on his tablet. I just have a bad feeling about all of this. "As you know we did a few scans of Amari today," he begins. "We wanted to check her blood cell count, take an x-ray of her bones just to see if the radiation is working like we are hoping it is. Her blood cell count is back and unfortunately her white blood cell count is low again and it's just getting lower, the cancer is taking over her body she had a high level of catecholamines in her blood and urine and as for her x-rays and scans the cancer is spreading through her body, there was a mass found over her pelvic bone, spreading to her hip bone and wrapping around toward her spine. The cancer is spreading much faster than we would like and I thought that the radiation would slow down the process but it hasn't. If anything the process of the cancer spreading has increased. I'm sorry, Madden but there's not anything more that we can do the cancer is just spreading too fast," he says as tears burn my eyes.
"So what are you saying?" I ask.
"I'm saying that it's time to get Amari as comfortable as you can. I have done all that I can for her and the rest is in God's hands. With the speed the cancer is spreading I would say she has about a month and a half left to live. I am sorry, Madden, I know you wanted different results and I know you wanted this to be different. I wanted to be able to heal her but I'm sorry, I have done all that I can," he says and I just break down on Joe's shoulder as I try to swallow the news that my baby girl only has a month and a half to live.
*a/n: what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.
