Chapter Twenty-Three – Mrs Bennet Apologizes

Kitty held her breath as the door to the small sitting room opened. She listened, trying not to laugh, as someone searched the room. The curtain was flicked back and a triumphant Georgiana stood before her. They both burst out laughing as Kitty tried to dart around her friend and Georgiana caught her, sending them both tumbling to the floor. They lay there for a few minutes, laughing and gasping for air and generally enjoying being together.

"It is unfair that you find me so quickly," said Kitty mirthfully.

"I did grow up here," Georgiana reminded her. "Fitzwilliam and I played lots of hide and seek when the weather was bad, and he showed me all the best hiding spots."

"It is hard to imagine him playing hide and seek."

"He and Elizabeth play in the gardens sometimes," said Georgiana. "They always look so happy when they do. Sometimes she'll be picking flowers and he'll just sit nearby and read to her."

"They are so obviously in love," said Kitty. Her gaze turned wistful. "I want something like that. A love that just suits me and my husband."

"Me too. They are such a good example. The Bingleys too."

"When are they supposed to arrive? I know that travelling with a baby is difficult."

"Today, I think."

They clambered to their feet, helped straighten each other's' dresses and went in search of the housekeeper. They were directed to the study, where they found the door firmly shut. They waited a few minutes and the door opened, the butler and housekeeper exiting while Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam went over something in one of the ledgers. The girls knocked and entered when bidden, their siblings pausing their conversation to pay attention to them.

"What beings you here?" asked Fitzwilliam. "It is a decent day, I had rather thought that you would be out exploring the grounds."

"It rained a bit earlier, so I was showing Kitty the house," explained Georgiana.

"We were wondering when the Bingleys would be here," said Kitty.

Elizabeth looked at the clock. "Any time now. They said that they would be here before dinner tonight. I just sent Mrs Reynolds to finish preparing rooms for them, we are prepared more or less."

"Your mother is coming as well, is she not?" said Fitzwilliam pointedly. Elizabeth sighed.

"Mama invited herself," translated Kitty. "Why?"

"She wants to see Pemberley so she can brag more to her friends," said Elizabeth wearily. "I cannot stop her from coming, as everyone else is visiting, and I am not so rude as to cut my own mother."

"I shall have to come up with a list of activities that require my attention so that I do not have to see her," said Kitty.

"I see the reason why," said Elizabeth, "but that means not seeing Samantha or Jane for the duration of their stay. And you cannot be busy for an entire month. Also, I would appreciate it if I was not the only one standing up to Mama."

"I think that you are making a big deal over nothing," said Georgiana. "She cannot be as bad as all that."

"When I broke my arm, she was convinced that I was faking and would not summon the doctor," said Elizabeth flatly. "She only believed it after Papa summoned the doctor and the doctor confirmed it."

"I do not know that I have ever had a real conversation with Mama," said Kitty. "Not once, ever."

"Oh. Oh dear."

"I did not know that," said Fitzwilliam, reaching out a hand to his wife.

"My issues with Mama should not determine my future."

"No, but you are hurting."

Elizabeth grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. "We can talk about it later, I promise. I know that I need to deal with it before I become a mother."

"We will do so together. For better or for worse, yes?"

"That was part of our vows. I suppose that this qualifies as for worse, so that for better can happen." Elizabeth relaxed slightly, glanced at the clock again and looked at the calendar on her desk. "The Gardiners, Mary and Lydia should be here tomorrow. I am unsure if Dr Fanshaw will be with them, however."

"His last letter indicated not," said Fitzwilliam. "But then, he may surprise us yet. His patients seems to be doing well, so he may take a break."

"And Miss Bingley and the Hursts will be here a few days after that?" asked Kitty.

"Yes, and then we will need to put the leaves in the table to fit everyone comfortably."

"It will be nice to have a full house," said Georgiana brightly. "Perhaps Kitty and I can draw portraits of everyone and then we can bind them in a book and in a few years look at them and write stories from this month in the book as well."

"I rather like that," said Elizabeth. "What do you think, Will? Shall we add a new section to our library?"

"A new section? You mean that we should do more of these?"

"Absolutely. It will be as good as a diary, but have pictures of us as we are now. Our descendants will be able to see what our lives were like."

"We shall see if this experiment goes well first, and then decide."

"Very well then," Elizabeth said with a teasing smile. Fitzwilliam quirked an eyebrow and she blushed and laughed. "I think it will work beautifully, but I accept your scepticism when it comes to additions to the library."

"You usually accept my scepticism of most new things that are suggested to me, and I usually agree to try them because the majority of your ideas have been good ones."

"I see that marriage hasn't changed you much, Elizabeth," said Kitty. "Most of your ideas growing up were good ones. Except for that time we tried to stop the tenant boys from dropping kittens in the well, that could have gone better."

"What happened?" asked Georgiana eagerly.

"I charged at them with a sturdy stick and scared them off," said Elizabeth, face a brilliant red. "And then jumped down the well to get the kittens out."

"How did you get out?" asked Fitzwilliam with concern.

"Papa got the boys' fathers to haul me out as I sat on the bucket," said Elizabeth. "I then had to explain, in front of everyone, why I had jumped down the well in the first place. Thankfully, Mary still had the kittens to show everyone. Papa explained to the boys that what they had tried to do would have poisoned the drinking water, as that is what dead animals do when they decay."

"That was the first time I had ever heard that," said Kitty. "It was very shocking that those boys not only tried to drown the kittens, but poison their families as well by mistake."

"I shall have to remember that," said Georgiana. "Just in case."

There was a knock at the door, and Mrs Reynolds came in. "The Bingley carriage just entered the estate. They'll be here shortly."

"Thank you, Mrs Reynolds," said Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth closed her account book and stood, shaking out her skirts. Fitzwilliam rose as well and offered her his arm, and they headed down to the front doors, Kitty and Georgiana following closely behind. There was an air of quiet comfort around couple, and their sisters tried their best to let it be by chatting about a book they had both started reading just before Mary's wedding and had since completed but had not had time to discuss in person. They all arrived at the doors just as the Bingley's carriage pulled up.

Charles stepped out first, a weary smile on his face and a slight tension in his shoulders. He turned to help Mrs Bennet out, which turned into a bit of a fuss as her shoe was stuck under the seat and she had to find it. Once his mother in law was safely on the ground, he reached in and collected his daughter, turned to hand her to her grandmother and found that her grandmother was chattering at their host. Elizabeth stepped forward and took Samantha, who began to quietly cry.

"She doesn't remember you," said Charles apologetically. "Give her some time and she will get to know you and she'll be right as rain."

"I shall endeavor to be patient," said Elizabeth, gently bouncing Samantha in her arms, which earned her a gurgle. Charles helped Jane out of the carriage, taking a moment to squeeze her hands, and she drew Elizabeth to where Kitty and Georgiana were standing.

"Look, Sam, almost all of your aunties are here," said Jane, "And Aunt Mary and Aunt Caroline will be here tomorrow, and perhaps Uncle James will be here too, if we are lucky." Elizabeth passed Samantha to Kitty to hold for a bit, then she was passed to Georgiana, who quickly returned her to her mother. As she cuddled into Jane, Charles, Fitzwilliam and Mrs Bennet came over.

"The nursery is all set up," said Fitzwilliam. "Elizabeth thought that it might be good to give you rooms near to the nursery so that you can be close to her. I understand that you are active parents."

"We do try to be," said Jane. "Thank you, that was most thoughtful. Mrs Jones will also be close by?"

"She will indeed," said Fitzwilliam. "She has a choice of where to sleep: in the nurse's room in the nursery, or in a room across the hall. Both are ready for her."

"Then we shall ask her while we get settled," said Charles. "Samantha has been fussing today, and I rather think that all of this carriage business is upsetting her."

"Shall we show you to your rooms?" asked Elizabeth.

Charles, Fitzwilliam and Jane went ahead, and Mrs Bennet fell into step with Elizabeth. Kitty and Georgiana followed closely behind the two women, Kitty not entirely wanting to leave Elizabeth to face Mrs Bennet alone. Mrs Bennet was quiet until they passed through the doors, and Kitty could see the tension creeping down Elizabeth's back as her mother began to speak.

"You have quite the lovely home, Lizzie, such good care is taken of the front lawns," said Mrs Bennet. "Have you considered redecorating, bringing the house to your taste? I should be a help to you if you thought of doing anything."

"I am pleased with the house as it mostly is," said Elizabeth, "and I have a system for the redecoration of the house, what little things I might wish to change. Thank you for your offer, but I have my house well in hand."

"But if you change so little, how will you make your mark upon the house?"

"I will not take from Fitzwilliam what is left of his mother. And I find that I agree with her taste. It simply needs a refresh, an update so that it is a bit more modern."

"But Lizzie, to be the mistress of such a fine estate –"

"Requires more work than simply doing the house over every year in the latest fashion. If I make a significant mark on this house, let it be the library, a place full of objects that have meaning to me." They stopped at the beginning of the family wing.

"I do not want you to be forgotten, Lizzie."

"I assure you, I shall not be." She went to a room close to the start of the hallway. "I selected this room for you, Mama. I do hope you enjoy it."

Mrs Bennet went inside to look around. Kitty and Georgiana hovered nearby, hoping that their presence would help the conversation not escalate. Elizabeth watched her mother look at every aspect of the grey and silver room. Having taken in every detail, Mrs Bennet turned to her second daughter.

"This is a very elegant room, Lizzie. Everything looks so well together."

"Thank you, Mama. This was one of the rooms I saw fit to make over completely. I endeavored to make it comfortable and elegant, while staying true to the atmosphere of the house."

"You have done an excellent job."

Elizabeth's lips quirked up. "I am glad you like it. I shall leave you to rest and freshen up. We will have tea in the family parlour, simply ask Elsie to direct you once she has finished helping you." And with that she left, heading down the hall towards her rooms. In the room, Mrs Bennet looked sadly at a painting of a misty landscape and twisted her handkerchief into knots. Georgiana pulled Kitty away to leave Mrs Bennet to her thoughts when Mrs Bennet caught sight of Kitty and attempted to compose herself.

"Kitty, dear, how are you?" asked Mrs Bennet.

"Quite well, thank you Mama," said Kitty. "I hope you are also in good health?"

"My health is good, yes. Will you be joining us for tea?"

"I shall. Elizabeth believes that it is good practice for when one first comes out, so that one knows how to hold a conversation with just about anyone."

"And you, Miss Darcy? Will you also be joining us?"

"I will, as I do need the practice of holding a conversation. It is one of my faults, that I do not converse as well as I might."

Mrs Bennet's gaze turned pensive, falling hundreds of miles from her guest room at Pemberley. "That is a flaw that might be remedied. And we are not all so perfect, we matrons of society. You need not be perfect at your debut either."

"Thank you for your wisdom," said Georgiana, dipping a curtsey and prompting Kitty to do the same. "We shall let you rest."

Mrs Bennet nodded and closed the door, and Kitty and Georgiana went to the nursery. They found Mrs Jones setting herself up in the nurse's room while Jane sat by the cradle and rocked it with a reverent yet protective expression. Kitty and Georgiana sat on the other side and watched Samantha and her cribmate, Mrs Jones' child, as they slept.

"We can watch her if you want to freshen up," offered Kitty.

"I would appreciate that," said Jane. "I hate leaving her alone, though I know that she will never be alone in truth, I do not want to leave her side. She is still so small."

"We will take good care of her," Georgiana assured her. Jane left, looking back at her child as she paused in the doorway before going to her rooms. Kitty hardly noticed as she stared blankly at Samantha. She looked up when Georgiana poked her.

"I do not see how your Mama could be so horrible as all that," said Georgiana. "She seemed a little overbearing, but not more than most society mamas, to my knowledge."

"That's because you weren't reading subtext," said Kitty. "Mama was doing her best to undermine Elizabeth in her own home so that she felt more powerful. Elizabeth turned her game against her and now she's sad."

"That's not what I saw at all," protested Georgiana. "I saw your mama try to make conversation with Elizabeth and be brusquely put down. I do not like to think that Elizabeth is unkind, but with that –"

"You do not have their history," snapped Kitty. "Even if Elizabeth seems unkind to Mama, I cannot fault her for it. She has rejected her, Mary and I for too long and I hate it. So I do not interact with Mama."

"I do not understand."

"You are not her daughter." And with that, Kitty turned her attention to the babies sleeping in front of them. "They are so lovely, are they not?"

"Kitty."

"I do not wish to discuss Mama. I have said what I will say on the matter."

"I do not like seeing you so angry."

"I have carried this anger for a long time. Another month will not be the death of me."

Georgiana looked down. "But you still have her."

"I never had her. Can we please discuss something more pleasant than my connection to my mother?"

"Very well. Shall I tell you about the gardens?"

"Please do. I have heard nothing but good things about the Pemberley gardens."

They quietly chatted about the gardens until Elizabeth came to collect them for tea. The tea was fairly uneventful, with Elizabeth and Jane discussing Samantha and how she was growing, Fitzwilliam and Charles discussing all of the legal matters around having a child, and Georgiana and Kitty bouncing from one conversation to the other, asking questions that bordered on impertinent, but were happily answered. Mrs Bennet sat quietly and drank her tea, watching the scene that played around her.

Mid-morning the next day saw two carriages arrive at Pemberley. Mr Gardiner, Mrs Gardiner and their four children were in the first carriage, and Mary, Caroline, Lydia, and – to everyone's surprise – James emerged from the second. There was a round of delighted greetings, where the sisters all hugged one another, and the men shook hands and clapped shoulders.

"Fanshaw, we thought you weren't coming!" said Charles, grinning broadly.

"I thought I wasn't coming as well," admitted James. "But it is summer and one of my colleagues offered to see to my patients. I trust that man with their lives. And here I am."

"Come inside," said Elizabeth, one arm around Lydia's shoulders and the other holding Mary's hand, "and we'll get you settled in. I shall have to tell Mrs Reynolds that we need the extra setting at the table after all."

"We had hoped, but not counted on your presence," said Fitzwilliam. "But we are certainly glad to have the whole family here."

Mrs Bennet was waiting at the top of the stairs, a mournful happiness creasing her features. She stopped Mary and squeezed her hands. "I have not had the chance to say it, but you seem very happy, Mary."

"I am," said Mary simply. James offered her his arm and bowed Mrs Bennet into the house. The family trooped upstairs, talking and laughing. Once in the family wing, Elizabeth directed everyone to their rooms, and Kitty was pleased that the Fanshaws had the rooms that she liked best of the ones Elizabeth had decorated, one that was a picture of deep purples and pale greens that was somehow slightly otherworldly. The Gardiners had the true green suite, which was a little more traditional, and Caroline's was varying shades of blue while Lydia's room was light yellows and golds. The three girls were across from or next to each other, and Lydia, upon hearing this, expressed her delight by clapping her hands and thanking Elizabeth.

"You must come help me unpack," said Lydia, taking Kitty and Georgiana's hands. "I should like to spend some time with you and know you better."

"I think I should like that as well," said Georgiana.

The three girls found that the maid assigned to the three of them was halfway through unpacking Lydia's clothes, and so Kitty and Georgiana sat on the bed while Lydia freshened up and selected a clean dress to wear. It still had lace and ribbons, but less than her dresses before, and her hair was neatly braided down her back rather than have ribbons threaded through it like she was going to a ball. Kitty and Georgiana pulled her into a discussion of gardens, to which Lydia described some of the plants that she had seen during her walks with her school. They then began swapping stories about school events, with Kitty and Lydia giving contrasting accounts of the same incidents. After about an hour, jane came to collect them for tea.

This tea was as strange to Kitty as the last. Mary, Elizabeth, Charles and Fitzwilliam discussed advances in farming and their effects on the economy. James, Caroline and Jane pulled Kitty and Georgiana into a discussion of the arts. Lydia sat near the discussion of economy, and when she was noticed, was included in the discussion. Mrs Bennet, again, sat silently and watched her family interact.

After a time, Mrs Bennet stood and cleared her throat. "Tonight after dinner, I should like to have a conversation with my daughters. If you would please join me here, that would be appreciated." She then dipped a little curtsey to the room at large and left. The sisters looked at one another with concern.

"Should we go, do you think, Elizabeth?" asked Jane.

"I think that is for each of us to decide," said Elizabeth. "Something has been off with Mama since she arrived, and I would hear her out. If it is serious then it needs to be heard from her. And as a good hostess, I should socialize with Mama."

James rested a hand on Mary's shoulder, and she covered it with her own. "I would also like to hear what she has to say, as it seems to be of import to her."

"I do not know if she would notice if I am there or not," said Kitty doubtfully.

"Come anyway," pleaded Lydia. "We can talk about it afterwards, and I do not want to have to repeat everything, as I might misrepresent something." Kitty hesitantly nodded.

Jane sighed. "I will come as well. For Samantha, and the sake of peace once we return home."

"Then you are decided, you will all go?" asked Fitzwilliam. Heads nodded, and Fitzwilliam took Elizabeth's hand. "Then I will provide what support I can."

"I am always on your side Jane," Charles said, kneeling before his wife. "Any decision you need to make regarding your mother, I will do my best to help with and stand by."

"Do this for you, my dearest, and do not take any of her put downs to heart," said James softly. "I will be there when you need me."

Caroline sighed softly, and the room turned to look at her. "The three of you married such good men. Perhaps you can help me look during the next season for someone who fits me as well as your husbands fit you."

Elizabeth laughed, startled. "Of course we'll help you, if that is what you wish."

"I have wanted you to be happy for a long time, Caroline," said Charles. "And if that will make you happy, then I will try and help you, if only by keeping rakes and scoundrels away from you."

"I would very much appreciate that," said Caroline. "I have had enough of those for a lifetime." After a moment of silence, Caroline burst into laughter, Elizabeth and Jane following suit. The laughter was contagious, and soon the room rang with the laughter of people happy to be together.

Dinner passed, and at the appointed hour, the five Bennet women gathered in the parlour. Lydia sat between Elizabeth and Jane, with Kitty and Mary on Elizabeth's other side. Mrs Bennet sat across from Elizabeth, hands folded in her lap around a vial of smelling salts. Her daughters waited for her to begin.

"I do not know how to begin this," said Mrs Bennet, "other than to say how proud I am of all of you. Every accomplishment you have is yours, and you have worked hard to hone your talents. I know I have no right, but I am nonetheless proud of you.

"The last thing your papa told me before he died was that I did wrong by all of you, and that I did not trust in myself as much as I ought. I did not believe him at the time. But here you five are, all grown up, most of you out in the world and I have not stood by any of you. He was, as usual when it comes to people, entirely right. I did all of you wrong. And I am beyond sorry for the hurt it has caused."

"I think you need to hear out each of us, Mama," said Jane in a quiet but strong voice. "I think you do not understand completely what pain each of us carries."

"I am willing to hear it," said Mrs Bennet. "You are right. I do not know what is in your hearts, only what is in mine."

Mary cleared her throat. "I would like to go first." Elizabeth gestured for her to go ahead and Jane nodded. "Mama, I am perhaps the least injured of your daughters. You mocked me for my looks and for my love of solitude. I have learned to not take your words to heart. For too long I compared myself to my older sisters, wishing I was them. But I have stepped from their shadows and made my own life in my own way. You paid little enough attention to me, but I was lucky: Elizabeth and Mrs Hill and Aunt Gardiner were enough for me. I am more sad than angry with you, because you were not there to see me grow, and I no longer need your approval to approve of myself. I forgive you, Mama, for the pain you have caused me, because holding onto that pain does me no good."

"I am truly sorry I did not try to see how you were growing," said Mrs Bennet. "And I am sorry that I ignored your nature and tried to make you believe that you were unworthy. I am sorry, and I pray that God and the women who have supported you in my place remain steadfast in their love for you."

"Thank you, Mama," said Mary. "Jane? You seem like you wish to go next."

"Mama, I am the most useless of your daughters," began Jane. "I learned nothing growing up save to be pretty and decorative. I learned everything I know about running an estate after I had married. I learned about the world as much as I wish to know after I had left your care. Mama, when I needed you most, you were not there. You did not accompany me to London for my Season and left me to fend for myself in a clutch of girls with mamas to vet their suitors and protect their reputations. I was not prepared to face Society alone, and yet all I received from you was pressure to marry as soon as possible. I am glad that I did not, as I would not have been with my Charles. I too am more sad than angry with you. In becoming a mother, I have learned to become a protector rather than the protected. For Samantha, I forgive you, because I do not want her to see me carrying such a weight while she, and any siblings she might have, grow up."

Mrs Bennet nodded. "I am sorry Jane. Sorry that I refused to see the mind behind the pretty face. I am sorry that I was so mistaken in what needed to be learned, and in the ways you needed my support. I foolishly kept you from growing into the woman you needed to become, and for that, I am truly sorry."

"Thank you, Mama," said Jane. "Lyddie?"

Lydia clutched at Elizabeth and Jane's hands. "Mama, you kept me stupid. You encouraged me to be petty and to take great offense at the slightest indication that someone was against me. You let me run wild, never thinking of my future and never knowing that I could do something with my mind other than design dresses and make over old ones. I was so behind at school that I needed extra classes, and thank God for Kitty's friends because they helped me to catch up to my peers. Before I met other girls of my age, I did not know that it wasn't enough to have the nicest dress and best hair, or be the most graceful girl on the ballroom floor. Before Elizabeth told me that I was breaking laws that were hanging offences, I thought I was untouchable and that I was doing no real harm. Why did you leave me to be like that? Why did you let me put myself in a position where I could have been in trouble so severe I would never have recovered from it? Why did you refuse to see that I needed to learn something, anything, that might help me in my future?"

"I saw that you were pretty and lively, and thought you were like me," said Mrs Bennet, tears pooling in her eyes. "It never occurred to me that you might have a mind like Mr Bennet's, always needing some new thought to turn over or a theory to suss out. I refused to see, and I put you in harm's way. I'm so sorry Lydia, that I failed to see you and give you what you needed."

"I do not forgive you," said Lydia. "Not today. Maybe one day, but not today." Mrs Bennet nodded, a tear tracking down her face.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth sat straight, her chin up and her lips a tight line across her face. "Mama, I am the angriest of your daughters. All I ever wanted was to have a relationship with you, to be able to learn from you the things you thought were important and some of the things you thought were not. All I received were dismissals and comparisons to your favoured daughters. You did not see me off to school for any of the years I went. You did not offer to help with my coming out. You constantly made comments on how unmarriageable I was, and couldn't contain your surprise when I did marry long enough to be happy for me. In your last three letters, you have inquired about me having a child; I am of the opinion that is not your business. You have made me not your business, and thus you are not mine. I will accept no apology from you; if you mean your words it will become clear in your actions. I will judge those and not what falls from your lips, as it is your actions that have hurt me most."

Tears streamed down Mrs Bennet's face as she nodded her acceptance of Elizabeth's words. Jane wordlessly offered her a handkerchief, but Mrs Bennet shook her head and let the tears keep coming. Shaking, Kitty stood, feet planted wide and arms crossed over her stomach.

"Mama," said Kitty, her voice breaking, "Mama I am the daughter who hurts the most. Mama, you never wanted me. Not even when I was a baby. I have been ignored and overlooked by you for so long. I once wanted you to love me. Elizabeth, Mary, Mrs Hill and Aunt Gardiner tried to replace that want with their love but it wasn't the same. I still want you to love me, and it hurts because you never will. I have not reached the point where I can make peace with that knowledge. I have no good memories of you, Mama. I have few memories of you at all. I too, cannot accept an apology. I do not know if I ever can."

Kitty began to sob, doubling over with the force of her sadness. Mary stood and collected her to her chest, holding Kitty as though she were her mother. Lydia buried her face in Elizabeth's shoulder as her breath hitched, and Elizabeth collected her in her arms. Jane went to Mrs Bennet and knelt on the floor in front of her.

"Mama, you did not know what was in our hearts," she said softly, placing a hand over her mother's still folded ones. "Our pain stems from our love for you. We still need you. We can still heal. We are all still here. And if Papa wanted you to try, then he must have seen something in you that said you could. That you are capable. Papa sometimes knew what he was talking about."

"That he did," said Mrs Bennet through her tears. "I – thank you, for showing me how badly I have failed you. I see that though I knew I had caused pain, I did not understand the extent of it. I am sorry. And I have much to think on going forward."

"You do," said Jane.

Kitty felt Mary steer her towards the door and down the hall. She could hear the pacing of the men in the front hall and Georgiana and Caroline playing a pleasant tune. Kitty covered her ears to not hear the happiness in the music. Mary guided her into her room and sat her on the bed, stroking her hair. Kitty flung herself into her pillow, her body shaking. She heard the door open, and felt the bed next to her dip. She looked up to find a similarly upset Lydia lying next to her and reached for her sister. The girls cuddled close to each other as the door opened and closed again and two sets of footsteps made their way down the hall towards the front hall.

Not five minutes went by before the door to the room was flung open and a very worried Georgiana flew into the room, followed by an equally worried but more sedate Caroline. They sat on the bed on either side of Kitty and Lydia.

"We know that we are not Bennets," said Caroline, "but we are your sisters and we care for you. If there is anything we can do, please tell us. Perhaps some tea?"

"Yes please," choked Kitty. Lydia nodded vigorously as she clung to Kitty.

Tea was called for, and the four women sat in a circle on the floor with the tea service in the middle. Kitty and Lydia sipped slowly as their tears slowly dried. Georgiana and Caroline sipped and watched, waiting for the other two to speak if they wanted.

"Mama wanted to apologize," said Lydia dully.

"She did?" said Caroline. "I knew that there was something off, but I was unsure as to what it was. There were rumours in Meryton, but nothing that could be confirmed…"

"Well here it is," said Kitty, bitter as over steeped tea. "Mama wanted to apologize to each of us for not being a good mother to us. As though an apology was enough to fix things."

"I just do not understand," said Lydia. "Why would she let me be stupid the way she did?"

"I don't know," said Caroline. "I do not know your mother well, but I saw the effect she had on Jane before she married Charles, and I saw how she upset Mrs Darcy. I don't know how your mother could be like that to you, because my mother was not like that to me."

"I do not understand," whispered Georgiana. "I thought – Fitzwilliam always told me – I had so hoped that everything was a misunderstanding, so that it could get better!"

"What did Fitzwilliam tell you?"

"That our mama was kind and gentle and loving. I thought all mamas were like that."

"Not ours," said Lydia. She set her cup down. "Kitty, may I stay here tonight? I do not think I can face waking up alone right now."

"Of course," said Kitty. "Georgiana, would you like to stay as well?"

"I should like that very much," said Georgiana. "I want to help you and be there for you. If me being here would help, I would like that." Kitty and Lydia nodded.

Caroline struggled to her feet and smoothed her skirts. "I am going to see if Jane is alright, and then to check on Mrs Bennet. Go to bed, as it has been an emotional and exhausting evening. I shall see you in the morning."

Kitty rose early the next morning, pale light just beginning to peek around the edges of the drawn curtains. She disentangled herself from Lydia and Georgiana and dressed herself in one of her simpler gowns, then found her sketchbook and went to the solar to draw. Under her hands, scenes from the night before appeared: Elizabeth, proud and unyielding in the face of their mother; Lydia shouting her fury; Jane's face contorting with the pain within and the pain she was causing; and Mrs Bennet, frozen, tears streaming down her face as it twisted in horror of what she had done. This was the last image Kitty had of her mother. Tears stained the page, but Kitty refused to tear it out. Turning to the next page, her hand hovered over the page as she tried to draw up her first ever memory of Mrs Bennet. It would not come. Kitty buried her face in her hands as tears blurred her eyes.

Unfamiliar arms encircled her, and an unfamiliar scent cut through her distress. An unfamiliar voice reassured her in quiet soothing tones as a hand rubbed her back. Kitty sat and let her tears dry, taking comfort in this consolation. Once her sniffles had all but stopped, the person stepped back and sat across from Kitty. Kitty wiped her face and looked at her consoler.

Mrs Bennet sat there, still in her gown from the night before. Her face looked tired, her shoulders slumped, and her hair was beginning to fall out of its style. But there was concern in her eyes and stillness in her hands that showed her focus on Kitty. She watched her daughter as Kitty caught her breath, and once she had, she began to speak.

"You know, I never appreciated how talented my girls were until last night," mused Mrs Bennet. "I was looking around my rooms and found that the paintings were done by you, and the embroidered cushions were made by Elizabeth and Mary, and there was a pressed flower set that Jane made. And I thought, why have I never seen these before? Why have I never seen my daughters? And I realized that Elizabeth had surrounded me with my girls and I hadn't noticed except to mark the quality of the work. You are an excellent artist, Kitty."

"Thank you," said Kitty. "Elizabeth and Mary and my teachers have all encouraged my interest and talent. I am not quite as good as I should like to be, but I will get there."

"You should be confident in your talent and ability," said Mrs Bennet. She sighed. "Kitty, never stop believing that you are capable. Even when it is difficult, keep repeating to yourself that you can, and keep trying. Do not let yourself become like me. Do not give up on yourself."

"Why did you give up?"

"I thought I had done everything I needed to in order to be successful. And then I learned how much work I still had to do, and I couldn't handle it. I was so unprepared to be a gentleman's wife that the reality of it frightened me and I hid from my responsibilities. I thought that doing what I knew was enough, and then it wasn't and I couldn't recover. And then Lizzie was doing my work for me and I – I didn't see the use of me trying anymore to be the mistress of the estate in anything but name."

"That was unfair, Mama. Does Elizabeth know?"

"I do not think she does. She is too strong for her own good, but she was made to be so. And I couldn't be prouder of the life she has made for herself. She seems so happy with Mr Darcy, and her friends. I am proud of her, and of all of you."

"She is happy. And so are Mary and Jane. And Lydia and I will be happy too with our lives."

"Good." Mrs Bennet looked out at the farms of the Pemberley estate. "I can see why you would want to draw this place. It is magical, like it was touched by God and all his angels. There is a peace to Pemberley that I have not felt anywhere else."

Kitty picked up her charcoal. "Don't move please." Mrs Bennet obliged and Kitty began to sketch her mother. Line by line, with shading and blending, Mrs Bennet as she was in that moment took shape. The wistfulness of her gaze, the contented quirk of her mouth, the light as it soaked into her greying hair, her still hands, one in her lap and the other on the window sill, all captured on the page under Kitty's fingers. When she was content with it as an initial sketch, she said, "All done. Thank you, Mama. I shall have to paint this for Elizabeth's book. I can do one for you as well."

"I should like that very much," said Mrs Bennet.

"Mama? Kitty?" Elizabeth stood in the doorway, dressed for a walk. A small frown creased her face. Kitty offered her a small smile and the frown relaxed. Mrs Bennet rose but Elizabeth waved her back into her seat. "I heard voices and wanted to know who was awake even before me. I am glad to see that everything is alright."

"You are welcome to join us, Elizabeth," said Mrs Bennet.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I will be cross later if I do not get my walk in now. I shall see you at breakfast. I am still in the habit of eating with the family in the morning."

"Then I shall come down and join everyone," said Mrs Bennet. Elizabeth smiled one of her true smiles and left. Mrs Bennet fidgeted her fingers. "Would you mind if I tried to draw beside you?"

"I should like that," said Kitty. "Do you have a sketchbook?"

"I do," said Mrs Bennet. "I'll go and get it." She left in a rustle of skirts. Kitty watched her go with hope beginning to root itself in her chest. She made no effort to crush it. What Mrs Bennet did next would either feed or destroy the little thing in time. Kitty could wait and see.