Author's Note: I know what I said about posting after I written everything but I feel like that isn't the best course. I find that I don't write when I should. So I am going to try to keep this to one post a week. Hope everyone enjoys.
Jim had fucked up. He knew it. God did he know he fucked up. He had hopped he could have kept everyone he loved out of it. It's why he had set the ship to return home nearly a day before their target area. He even gave the wrong cordanants. Hell he even had a second ship all in the hopes to save them. He was going to watch them all die here and it was all his fault.
He knew it was a trap. Jim wasn't stupid. He was just supid in thinking he could have saved anyone. He couldn't. Not back then and not now. He wanted to scream. He wanted to fight but there was no target. He wanted to just end it before there could be any pain. Should he just end it all? Save his crew the misery of slowly dying? They had managed to save half of their supplise from the wreckage. No one was badly hurt. He was still debaiting if their living through the crash was a curse.
"Jim." A voice called to him and he turned. He didn't see who called. Only a boy as thin as a rail. Pale skin streached over bones. A stomach that paturded from lack of food. "Captain what should we do now?" He blinked as Spock's words sank in. Spock stood before him. Clear worry on his face.
He plastered on a smile. God how long would he have to watch Spock die? Would his father send help like he promised? Would whoever had been pulling the strings let him? "For now let everyone get rest. We might be here for a few days. If we don't make contact with your dad he promised to come pick us up."
Should he let them know? Would it make any difference? Or should he let them keep their ignorance? Could he kill them? It would hurt. It would kill him in a way he hadn't dreamed of. He could make it peaceful. He's done it before when the others were too sick.
Jim slammed a lid on those thoughts. He didn't need Spock picking them up in case he touched him. If only the damn head ache would go away! He rubbed at the pain right behind his eye.
"You should get some rest captain. I'll stand watch." Spock suggested as he stepped closer. Jim moved back.
"I'm fine. Just a head ache. I hit it pretty hard before all of this." He wouldn't tell them he had abandoned them to seek out the mastermind. He had left them defenseless. He would never stop hating himself for that. He wouldn't act until he knew for sure it was hopeless. Spock would be the hardest to take out. The amount of posion needed would be... "How is your head? Bones said you hit it pretty hard. Three broken ribs to boot."
"I will be fine. I heal faster than a human. Captain I would recomend you rest for a little while. You won't be nearly as effective if you do not rest. Whatever dangers this planet holds we will face it together."
Jim nearly laughed. He didn't know what was out there waiting! It would eat him alive and make the others watch. He swallowed thickly. "I'm fine Spock I'll let you know when I am tired. You keep calling me captain."
Spock remained silent for a while. "It seemed like the logical thing to do. We are in a dangrous situation. To refure to a single person as an athourtity would be beneficial for the group health."
Silence streached between them as Jim looked out at the surrounding area. He would give it three weeks. If nothing happened he would keep everything to himself. If help never came then he would decide. Three weeks. It was both too short and too long. At the end would he see them die or would he have to tell them everything?
