Meanwhile, Lionel was doing his best to keep the group warm and defrosted as they ventured through the snow-covered Russia. Then somehow, they ended up in a desert, then climbing a mountain, then another desert.

"Jeez, did we land in a Pooh's Adventures video or something?" asked Lionel.

"Does anybody else feel like we're traveling in circles?" asked Fozzie.

Walter raised his finger. "There it is...!" he wheezed. He was pointing at a large neon arrow that was labeled "GULAG".

"Finally!" Patch beamed.

"Free! At last!" Cherry gasped before she leaned out and landed flat on the edge with her arms flopped over as she looked exhausted.

"There's still bit of a way to go." Atticus told Cherry.

"Augh!" Cherry groaned.

"Just don't give up or else I'll sing." Thor told Cherry.

"I'm not giving up! I'm not giving up!" Cherry panicked.

Thor seemed to smirk before he soon decided to scoop her up and carry her in his arms. And then Lionel picked them both up on his back and carried them.


Meanwhile, at the Dublin Theatre, Scooter and the penguins were performing their take on "Moves Like Jagger" while Constantine was enacting his own evil plot.

"Do you have evidence to frame the bear?" The evil frog asked.

Dominic held up a rubber chicken.

"Excellent. Where are the guards?" Constantine then asked.

Said guards, who were Muppet leprechauns, were busy enjoying the show.

"Stay here. I'm going to check on the vault." Sam told Jean.

"Oui." Jean nodded, as two of the performers began using jackhammers on the stage, which effectively muffled the sound of the explosives going off.

As the criminals entered the vault, they were startled to see a skeleton tumble out onto the floor.

"Colonel Blood's locket..." whispered Dominic.

"Of course," Constantine nodded. "Now grab it."

A certain shadow was seen to be walking near them. "Shawn." he then called.

"Someone's coming, it must be that meddling Carmen Sandiego!" Constantine ranted. "Abort!"

Dominic winced as he grabbed the locket, though winced and grimaced once he saw that the locket was still grabbed in the skeleton hand before he ran off with the frog.

"I think I just saw something," Sam said on his phone to tell Jean. "It's headed back towards the theater!"

Rowlf soon played piano on stage as Miss Piggy sat on the piano, singing some "Celine Dion".

"That was close." Dominic said as he and Constantine made it back out, out of their burglar outfits and back in their proper clothes as they met up with Boris and Natasha.

"Too close," Constantine replied. "We need to move to final phase 3: Wedding."

As Miss Piggy continued her performance, Constantine made his way onto the stage.

"Hey, Kermit, you can't go out there. It's Piggy's Celine Dion number!" Scooter protested, barring his way. Constantine just grabbed the bespectacled Muppet and judo-threw him out of the way.

Jean was eating a sandwich and drinking a glass of wine when Sam came back to his seat.

"Did you see anything?" The eagle asked.

"Not a thing," replied Jean. "It is my lunch hour. It lasts six hours."

"Excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen! I have an announcement!" Constantine called out as he walked on stage to get the audience's attention.

"What?" Miss Piggy asked flatly.

The music soon stopped and the audience paid close attention as this sounded important.

"Kermit, I'm in the middle of a song here!" Miss Piggy complained to who she thought was her amphibian true love.

"Miss Piggy, I have very important question for you." Constantine told her as he prepared himself to bend down on one knee.

The audience soon looked shocked and amazed over what they were witnesses.

"Yeah? What are you doing?" Miss Piggy asked.

"Do you wish to become Mrs. Piggy?" Constantine began to ask as he brought out an emerald ring just for her. "Or rather, Mrs. The Frog?"

"Kermie, I thought you'd never ask," Miss Piggy replied in shocked tears. "I really thought you'd never ask!"

"So?" Constantine asked, sliding the ring over her finger. "What do you say?"

"It's beautiful." Jean commented as he watched with a fond smile.

"Yes! Yes! Of course! Yes!" Miss Piggy gushed in excitement. "I can't believe this! After all this time, it was finally just so easy!"

The audience soon cheered and applauded over the excitement and amazement between "Kermit" and Miss Piggy's courtship.

"That's right, folks, it's the Muppet wedding the world has been waiting for," Constantine grinned to the audience. "We're putting our tour on hold-"

"WHAT?!" The other Muppets gasped.

"To be married in two days' time at the world's most romantic location: The Tower of London." Constantine soon concluded.

At once, the audience was in an uproar, and reporters were snapping photos.


Later, when Sam and Jean checked out the Irish National Bank, they saw the place had been ransacked.

"Well, at least they didn't get the pot of gold." said one of the leprechaun guards.

Sam sighed. "I have never been to a more ridiculous crime scene." he remarked, until he spotted another familiar-looking coin.

Jean spotted the rubber chicken inside the pot o' gold and fished it out. "The comedian bear, he was here." he deduced.

Sam inspected the discarded coin. "The Lemur. He, too, was here!" he soon realized. "Could the comedian bear and the Lemur be one and the same?"

"The comedian bear is the Lemur. That is brilliant!" exclaimed Jean.

"But why would he steal a bunch of old bones?" asked Sam.

"The bones apparently belonged to one Colonel Thomas Blood," explained Jean. "He was the only man to ever nearly steal the Crown Jewels of England."

"Wait!" said Sam. "Where did the frog say he was getting married?"

"The Tower of London." replied Jean.

"The comedian bear is planning on stealing..." They both exclaimed in unison.

"...The Tower of London!/The Crown Jewels!"

"The Crown Jewels!" Jean backpedaled.

Sam just face-palmed and shook his head.


And so... London, England: Home of the Crown Jewels and good manners...

"Sir, where would you like the flowers?" A woman asked once she saw the amphibian groom.

"Who cares?" Constantine scoffed.

"Hey, Chief." Gonzo greeted.

"Hi-lo." Constantine smiled.

"We've all been thinking, and... Well, after you and Miss Piggy get married, what's gonna happen to the tour?" Scooter soon asked.

"And to us?" Gonzo added.

"Well, now you guys have all the freedom you want," Constantine replied casually. "You don't need me. I'm done with Muppets."

The other Muppets began to look overwhelmed and worrisome over that status quo.

"But, hey, it's been a good run, right?" Constantine then asked. "Good luck." he then said before leaving.

"Kermit!" Scooter gasped before frowning. "Did he just say what I thought he said?"

"What are we gonna do without Kermit?" Gonzo asked.

"The only thing we can do," Floyd Pepper spoke up. "Pack up, go to the wedding, and head back home."


The next day, Miss Piggy was preparing for her big moment.

"Oh, Foo-Foo, it's always been a fight," she told her dog. "But this is so easy, it just doesn't feel right..." And so, she expressed through song how she was having second thoughts about marrying Kermit... Or at least, the amphibian who had assumed Kermit's identity.

"This is my dream come true, The day has come for us to say 'I do', There's nowhere else I'd rather be~," Miss Piggy sang to her dog before she went outside to take a walk to clear her head. "Nothing in the world means more to me than you, I've waited so patiently, And knew you were the only frog for me, Always knew this day would come, It's written in the stars it's destiny, So how can something so right feel so wrong tonight?, After all we've been through, Why do I feel I don't know you?~"

Kermit appeared to be thinking about Miss Piggy in his absence as he even started to sing with her, even if they weren't together right now.

"We'll settle down and start a family, Have a mini-you and a mini-me, A little pink frog and a little green piggy~," The pig and frog sang together as they imagined having children together and even growing old together. "They'll learn to say hello and say goodbye, We'll grow grey and old and live the quiet life, Just you and I, Hand-in-hand, we'll stay together forever and ever~"

"So how can something so right feel so wrong tonight?~" Miss Piggy then began to sing with Celine Dion. "After all we've been through, Why do I feel I don't know you?~"

"How can something so right feel so wrong inside?" asked Dr. Teeth as he packed up.

"How can something so good leave me feeling so bad?" added Floyd Pepper.

"How can my dreams coming true Leave me lonely and blue? " asked Pepe.

"How come the happiest day of my life is so sad?" asked Lew Zealand.

"How can I feel the high when I feel so low?" added Rowlf.

"After all we've been through, after coming so far..." Scooter seemed to be on the verge of bursting into tears as he took down the Muppet Show poster.

"Is this my destiny?" pondered Link Hogthrob, as Beaker popped out of a bucket of rolled-up posters.

"Where is the love that's written, in the stars...?~" sang Miss Piggy and Celine Dion, as Rowlf played the piano.

"How can something so right..." Everyone sang. "...Feel so wro-ho-honnnng tonight?"

Finally, Miss Piggy was back in her dressing room, gazing at her photo of herself with Kermit. "After all we've been through...why do I feel I don't know you?~" she sighed. "Oh, Kermie..."


At the prison, there was a special night tonight.

"Hey! The show's starting!" Jackson de Vil told the monster up in the lights as he had a random cameo.

The monster in the booth heard that and soon moved the light to shine it down on stage as Kermit was coming into the spotlight.

"Lady and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to the Gulag Annual Revue Show!" Kermit announced like he was on The Muppet Show.

A banner then rolled down which read "GULAG ANNUAL REVUE SHOW (DON'T RIOT)".

The audience then applauded as Kermit came backstage to go over some notes. "Escapo, you're up after the ballet." he then said.

"Okay." The one called Escapo replied.

"Kermit! Kermit! Kermit." Familiar voices whispered in the distance.

Kermit looked over and looked wide-eyed and overjoyed to see that his friends had finally come back for him. "Fozzie. Walter. Animal. Atticus. Cherry. Lionel. Mo. Um...?"

"Thor." The warlock teen spoke up.

"Thor." Kermit then said.

"We're here to rescue you." Thor then smiled.

"But we've got to go right now!" Walter added.

"Yeah!" Animal nodded.

The Gulag staff was currently distracted by the ballet performance that was occurring, so this gave Kermit and the others ample time to slip outside.

"I can't believe you're here. It's so good to see you guys!" the amphibian exclaimed.

"Kermit, listen," said Fozzie. "An evil frog named Constantine has taken over the Muppets and replaced you!"

"What? Constantine replaced me?" asked Kermit.

"Yeah. And he was working together with Dominic." added Two-Tone.

"They're planning something terrible, but we don't know what." finished Walter.

"But... How could you not have noticed that he'd replaced me, Fozzie?" Kermit asked his best friend.

"He looked like you and he talked like you." Fozzie explained.

"He had a completely different voice, spoke with a foreign accent, and was utterly incapable of introducing the show." Lionel replied flatly.

"...Okay, he didn't talk that much like you, come to think of it," Fozzie relented. "But he said he had a cold."

"Animal know." stated Animal.

"Also us!" Lionel stated.

"'Animal know'?" asked Kermit in disbelief, and Animal nodded. "Y'mean, all this time I've been locked in a Russian Gulag, no one, not one single person from the Muppets, except Animal, noticed I'd been replaced by an evil criminal mastermind?"

"It sounds worse than it was..." Fozzie tried to say.

"No. It's as bad as it sounds." Walter replied.

"I thought you guys had forgotten about me," said Kermit. "That you didn't need me anymore."

"We'd never forget about you!" Mo exclaimed. "After all, you're the face of the Muppets franchise!"

"We need you more than ever, Kermit." Walter agreed.

"Good frog." Animal grunted.

"Besides, who else is Robin gonna look up to?" Cherry asked.

"He's that small frog in some specials, right?" Lionel asked as he glanced at her.

"Yeah, Kermit's nephew." Cherry replied.

"Of course." Lionel then said.

"Late extra! Late extra! Read all about it!" A paper girl called out from a truck. "Kermit and Miss Piggy to be married in London!" she then added before tossing out the newspaper about the latest Muppet news.

"What? Piggy?" Kermit gasped. "Piggy's gonna marry the world's most dangerous frog tomorrow?"

"It sure sounds like it." Patch frowned.

"Piggy and the gang are in danger!" Kermit cried out. "To London!" he then declared as he ran out in the middle of the snow.

"No. Kermit! Wait!" Atticus warned.

Then suddenly, there were shots fired in front of Kermit from a rifle.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm in a gulag," Kermit smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that, Ivan!"

"It's okay!" The man, named Ivan, replied as he held his rifle. "No problem, Kermit. It's easy mistake."

"Right. Thanks for not shooting me!" Kermit called out.

"Sure. No problem..." Ivan called back. "Hey, nothing personal."

"That settles it," Kermit decided. "We hafta escape, tonight."

"But how?" asked Walter.

Before they could put their heads together, a prisoner interrupted them. "Hey, Kermit!" he asked. "Do you know where these prop pickaxes and shovels are supposed to go for this big mining number?"

Walter did a double-take as thunder rumbled above. "Wait... I've got it!" he exclaimed, catching sight of the tool shed nearby.

The group looked at each other as they just hoped that Walter knew what he was doing.


"And now, folks, the Great Escapo!" Kermit soon announced.

The audience then applauded as a man with a chain locked around his neck as he soon grabbed onto it and he broke out of it. The audience looked impressed and amazed. Escapo then jumped off of the stage and went running out of the prison.

"Oh, no, you don't," Nadya smirked as she hit Escapo with her taser which made him yelp and fall through the floor as he had failed. "Nice try, Escapo."

"I sure hope this works, Walter," Kermit nervously told his friend. "I have tried a lot of ways to get out of here."

"This is gonna work, Kermit," Walter reassured. "I'll see you on the outside."

"Okay!" Kermit smiled before going back on stage.

"Gosh, I hope this works." Walter whispered to himself.

"Thank you, thank you, everybody," Kermit said as he met the audience again. "And now, we're going underground. Working in the coal mine!"

The audience then applauded as a group of singing and performing prisoners got together and sang the soul song: "Workin' in the Coal Mine". While the prisoners began their routine, a few of them were actually helping to dig an escape tunnel for Kermit and his friends. So when the performance ended, the staff was applauding, but when the curtain rose again, the stage was empty.

"Oh, no..." Nadya realized. "KERMIIIIEEEEEEE!" she cried out.

Outside, on a truck, Kermit and the group were being driven to freedom.

"I can't believe that worked!" Thor exclaimed.

"We did it! Great work, guys!" Atticus congratulated the others.

"Now put the pedal to the metal. We have a wedding to crash!" Kermit declared.

The driver of the truck was an orange female Muppet with teardrop-shaped glasses, a green turtleneck sweater with pink sleeves, and curly red ringlet/dreads for hair. "You got it, Kermit!" she declared.

"Thanks, Skeeter; glad that something's going right to..." Kermit did a double-take.

"Wait... SKEETER?!" Everyone exclaimed.

"Sup?" Skeeter smiled as she was realized.

The others babbled at each other in shock and surprise as they saw the Muppet who was Scooter's twin sister!

"I feel like I haven't seen you when we were babies in Nursery School." Kermit said to Skeeter.

"Oh, I've just been around, here and there." Skeeter replied innocently.

Everybody looked at each other as they drove straight for London with Skeeter along with them whose arrival was quite the mystery and unexpected surprise.


At the Tower of London, there was a grand celebration going on with people all gathered around and people leaving their cars so that they could make into the church to witness the wedding of Kermit and Miss Piggy. Luckily, the adventure team and the other Muppets soon made it to London in time as they pulled up near the wedding ceremony.

"That's a nice venue." Fozzie smiled.

"The main entrance is too well-guarded," Kermit said as he took a look. "I'm gonna need to get in some other way."

"If anyone has another suggestion than just simple teleportation, I'm all up for it." Atticus spoke up.

"Good!" The others replied.

"I got it!" Lionel exclaimed, as he snapped his fingers and made the group invisible, allowing them to tiptoe past the guards.

"Wow, Kermit; you were like James Bond back there!" Fozzie exclaimed.

"Thanks, Fozzie," Kermit replied. "Okay, listen, guys. Walter: you, Mo, Atticus and Animal go look in the chapel."

"Right." Walter nodded.

"Skeeter, Fozzie, Cherry, Lionel, Thor: come with me." Kermit told the rest of the team.

"Yes, sir!" Thor exclaimed, giving a salute.

"Good luck, guys." the amphibian told his friends.

"You, too, Kermit." replied Walter, as both groups split up and broke away.

The groups then split up and began to explore their surroundings.

"Piggy?" Kermit called as they came to check the lounge.

"Where could she be?" Thor frowned.

"Kermit, these are your clothes," Fozzie realized as he saw the tiny groom's clothes before seeing something that stuck out. "This tuxedo is too tight."

"Fozzie, no!" Cherry yelped.

Fozzie then pulled on the tuxedo too hard and the mirror wobbled and suddenly fell to the floor, shattering into pieces.

Lionel winced. "Ooh, forget feeling it in the morning, he's gonna feel it ASAP." he remarked.

"Someone's coming! Hide! Hide!" Kermit panicked as he heard something.

"Which room am I supposed to be in?" Fozzie asked before hiding in the middle of the floor.

Cherry, Lionel, Thor, and Skeeter went to find their own hiding places as Constantine soon walked into the room.

"Here it is... I hate weddings." Constantine mumbled as he adjusted his suit and came to his mirror.

Kermit soon put on some green make-up to hide the mark on his face to act as the evil frog's reflection.


It seemed to work out so far as Constantine looked at his double before they did many of the same movements, even trying to scare and surprise each other as the evil frog seemed to suspect something.

"What the...?" Dominic muttered as he soon walked into the room with Boris. "There you are."

The two men soon looked between the two frogs in confusion.

"Well, don't just stand there gawping, Number Two and Mr. Badenov," Constantine demanded. "Come in. Let us take this convenient opportunity to review our plans."

"Right," Boris nodded. "Dominic, if you will?"

"Right. Once you've stolen the Crown Jewels and framed the Muppets, ring the tower bell five times and we will rendezvous on the roof," Dominic listed before looking curious. "But what will you do when you're married?" he then asked Constantine. "Because the pig will know everything."

"Once she's served her purpose, kaboom from Boris and Natasha," Constantine smirked. "It will be bacon for breakfast."

Kermit gasped in horror from where he hid as Constantine chuckled wickedly.

Just then, two delivery guys brought in a large box.

"Champagne fridge delivery." One of them said.

"Put it over there on the bear-skin rug." Constantine ordered.

The 'bearskin rug' was actually Fozzie, and when that crate landed on his back, he let out a pained grunt. Fortunately, the criminals didn't notice.

"Thank you!" The evil amphibian told the delivery guys as they left. "It's showtime." And he and Dominic left as Fozzie got to his feet.

"Fozzie, are you okay?" asked Skeeter.

"Yeah, I think so; How do I look?" The bear asked, his entire body from the neck-down having been flattened into a two-dimensional shape.

"You look fine. You look fine!" the group nodded.

"Come on, Fozzmeister; we have to go rescue Miss Piggy!" Skeeter declared. "Even if I can't stand her, nobody deserves to be blown up on their big day!"

Fozzie nodded. "Right! Let's go!"

They soon walked on out only to run into two certain detectives.

"The Lemur!" Jean gasped once he saw Kermit and Fozzie. "I have you finally!"

"And Constantine: the world's most dangerous frog!" Sam added.

"No, no, no." Kermit and Fozzie panicked.

"Guys, listen to me, they're not who you think they are!" Thor cried out.

"As you might say, case sol-ved!" Sam then smirked towards Jean.

"Perfect!" Jean smirked back as he was shown to be with a wife and two kids, all looking ready to go on vacation. "Time for my annual eight-week paid vacation."

"No, wait!" Sam cried out to the French man as he began to leave with his family. "What am I supposed to do with them until the mobile holding unit arrives?"

"On holiday!" Jean called out as he left with his apparent family.

Lionel rolled his eyes, then twitched his nose to rust the cuffs and turn them to dust, allowing them to slip away unnoticed. "Jeez, it's like everyone else forgot their brain cells today." he muttered as he guided them past Bean Bunny, who waved from a nearby fence... Before the rabbit fell off, but was snagged by the back of his jacket, thanks to a tree branch.

"Rough day, huh?" asked a yellow-orange-skinned 10-year-old with purple hair and a red hoodie.

"Story of my life," sighed Bean. "Since the Muppet Christmas Carol, I'm basically the Bubsy when it comes to the staff's opinion."


Meanwhile, Constantine was making the final preparations. "And so you know, Number Two, I have hired us help," he explained, coming to a closed door. "The world's smallest team of jewel thieves," He flung it open, and Dominic was surprised to see several puppet infants, accompanied by a man in shades. "Babies, meet your new boss!" he exclaimed.

Boris and Natasha stared blankly at the babies.

"Genius, I know!" Constantine remarked proudly. "Who would suspect babies of stealing Crown Jewels? Look at their sweet faces~!" he gushed.

"Is enough to make one sick to stomach." Boris grunted.

"Babies... What hideous creatures." Natasha added.

"Don't you two have a daughter together?" Dominic asked them.

"NOT IN THIS UNIVERSE!" Boris and Natasha replied sharply.

"...But in the Rocky and Bullwinkle adventure, didn't you two have-" Dominic was about to ask again.

"No!" Boris and Natasha cut him off.


Inside the wedding chapel, everybody went to take their seats.

"Let's see. Where am I seated?" Link Hogthrob asked himself as he wandered around, looking and feeling lost. "I'll need an usher. Usher? Is there an usher?"

"Yes," A man said, revealing to be the rapper of the same name as he smiled at the pig. "I'm the Usher. Pig or Frog?"

"What do you think?" Link asked.

"I don't know, man," Usher shrugged. "Pig?"

"No. Frog. I'm related through marriage," Link defended. "What kind of an usher are you?"

Usher sighed to himself in misfortune as Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence wandered around in the background. "This is what I get for being in Drew Carey's version of Geppetto." he sulked to himself before going to see the two actors.


Meanwhile, Dominic, Boris, and Natasha were making their way through the halls, accompanied by their tiny collaborators. Suddenly, Dominic spotted a Coat of Arms on the wall, and rubbed off some of the dirt, exposing the keyhole. After inserting the key, Dominic unlocked the Coat of Arms, revealing that the wall was actually a secret passageway.

"You're up, little dudes." Dominic told the babies.

"Go, go, go!" said one of them to his friends, and they made their way through a secret tunnel, leading into the inside of the vault where the crown jewels were stored, and then they opened the door and let the villain trio inside.

Elsewhere, the clock struck 3:00 PM.

Kermit gasped. "The wedding! It's starting!" he exclaimed, as he looked on at Miss Piggy in her wedding dress. "...She looks beautiful..."

Skeeter gave a silent nod and a thumb's up of respect.

"Well, we'd best get a move on if we wanna save her!" Lionel declared as he and the others made their way in, while the Wedding March was being played.

"You can check her out later!" Cherry added.

"Well, at least Kermit seems to actually like Miss Piggy back even though he seems to be scared of her most of the time." Thor commented.

"Yeah, Kermit's just funny about that sorta thing." Cherry replied.

"Huh? Hey!" Sam complained as the group soon dashed away after they were freed from their handcuffs due to a little magic. "Get back here!"

"Sorry, Sam, but we gotta go!" Skeeter told the eagle.


Everybody else filed into the chapel as they stood up as The Wedding March played as Miss Piggy was on her way down the aisle as Andy and Randy bawled while holding each other for their aunt's very special day.

"Boys, stop that sobbing, you're embarrassing me!" Miss Piggy pouted.

"Sorry, Auntie Piggy!" Andy and Randy sniffled before using Rizzo to dry their eyes.

"Hey!" Rizzo complained. "Ew!"

Miss Piggy soon slowly made her way over to Constantine as he eagerly waited for her arrival.

"I'm just really happy for her..." sniffled Bobo the bear, wiping his eyes. "Just... Really happy..."

"Would you please stop talking?" asked Uncle Deadly as he played the pipe organ.

Bobo took out a larger-than-usual handkerchief and blew his nose into it. Miss Piggy approached the stand, feeling more than a bit unsure about the decision she was making, but then turned towards the justice of the peace.

"Dearly beloved..." The pastor began the ceremony after the music ended.


Back outside...

"Code red! Code red!" Sam called out into a walkie-talkie since Kermit, Fozzie, and the others had escaped.

With the thieves, one of the babies sprinkled out some baby powder to expose green lasers as the Crowned Jewels were close in view.

"Oh, come on," Dominic sighed to himself. "Not a laser web."

"Pretty." One baby smiled, entranced by the pretty lights.

"Right," Dominic then nodded. "Go and get the suspend-y ropey thing and my really cool skintight outfit."

"And hurry before Carmen Sandiego decides to show up," Natasha added. "Constantine would be furious if Carmen Sandiego come before we get chance to get jewels."

"Shawn, come back from vacation!" shouted Sam over his walkie-talkie. "Constantine and the Lemur have escaped. The Crown Jewels are in danger!"

Dominic lowered himself down into the room, easing himself past the laser webs, and lying on the floor.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk; sometimes, you just make it too easy, Connie," Carmen chuckled to herself, having swapped out the real Crown Jewels for well-made fakes. "Know what they say: first come, first served."

And she sang to herself as she left the room. "Well, she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina; she's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize...~"


Back in the church...

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of this pig and this frog in Holy Matrimony before the presence of God." The pastor continued.

Constantine checked his pocket watch and sighed.


Dominic did his best to dodge the lasers that moved all around as he made it to a passage door, unknowing about the switcheroo caused by none other than Carmen Sandiego. He then used a gold chain to press against the door and that shut the lasers off so that he could go free without getting zapped and open up the security doors. He then smirked as he took that time to nab the Crowned Jewels and as he did, black crows flew all around while squawking during the wedding.

"Do you, Kermit the Frog, take Miss Piggy to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, so help you God?" The pastor then asked the frog.

"Yes. Yes, I do." Constantine nodded.

"And do you, Miss Piggy?" The pastor began.

"Huh?" Miss Piggy blinked as she seemed to doze off briefly.

"Take Kermit the Frog to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, so help you God?" The pastor then finished his question.

"I... I..." Miss Piggy stammered while the audience was in high anticipation of what her answer would be.

"Just say 'I do'!" Constantine told her. "This is what you've always wanted, right?"

"...I do?" Miss Piggy then spoke, though more of a query than a statement.

"I'm sorry, is that a question?" The pastor asked the pig bride.

"No, it was not a question." Constantine said for Miss Piggy, a bit sharply.


Meanwhile, Kermit and the others made their way to the rescue.

"We have to do something, guys," Kermit said.

"Kermit, we've got to get you close to Miss Piggy!" Walter replied.

Fozzie noticed a nearby rope reel. "...What does this do?" he asked, pulling the lever. Said lever activated a trap door, which dropped Constantine down, and lifted Kermit upwards on a platform.

"Well, that's one way to resolve a situation." Cherry remarked.

The crowd OOH'ed in amazement.

"What the...?" asked Miss Piggy.

"Piggy, it's me, Kermit," explained the frog, whispering. "C'mon, we have to get out of here! The wedding is off."

"Oh, wow!" said Janice. "Like, I kind of knew he'd get cold flippers."

However, the Muppets under the stage were dealing with a situation of their own: Constantine, and boy, was he MAD!

"Excuse us..." Fozzie chuckled as he stepped aside.

"No, Kermit!" Miss Piggy exclaimed as Kermit tried to pull her off the platform. "What are you doing?!"

"Piggy, I will explain later," Kermit replied.

"No, Kermit!" Miss Piggy complained. "What are you doing?"

"Piggy, I will explain later." Kermit told her.

"I cannot believe-" Miss Piggy continued to rant.

"Come here, Frog!" Constantine's voice called as he grabbed Kermit by the leg and dragged him away.

"Where you going?" Miss Piggy then asked before Constantine took Kermit's place.

"I'm sorry, my dear, forgive me." The evil frog replied casually.

"What is going on at my wedding?" Miss Piggy glared firmly.

Cherry soon swung by with Walter on a rope and grabbed the evil frog. "Gotcha!" she then smirked.

"What?" Miss Piggy blinked.

"Thor, Atticus, Animal, pull!" Kermit called out as Constantine ended up in a net after Cherry tossed him.

"What is happening here?" Constantine groaned as he was being pulled up in the net.

"Catch Froggy! Catch Froggy!" Animal laughed.

"Well, this is the best Muppet wedding ever!" The hobo from the prequel to this story beamed as he ate while watching the epic moments.

"Piggy, listen! That's not me! I'm me!" Kermit tried to tell the pig bride. "He's Constantine, the world's most dangerous-"

"Oh! Watch out!" Mo cried out as Constantine began to chew his way out of the net with his metal teeth to break free.

"Oh, yeah," Atticus face-palmed. "Forgot about that."

"Ya see, people?" Cherry deadpanned to the fourth wall. "Atticus isn't perfect all the time."

"$5 says they probably ignore that," Lionel replied, as both amphibians got to their feet, looking incredibly identical.

Miss Piggy gasped in shock.

"Two Kermits?!" exclaimed Scooter. "...That explains so much..."

"Will the real Kermit the Frog please stand up?" Thor joked. "I repeat, will the real Kermit the Frog please stand up? Otherwise, we're gonna have a problem here!"

"How can there be two Kermits?!" asked Miss Piggy. "Of all the ways to ruin a wedding, this has got to be the most creative. Two Kermits!"

"No, just one Kermit," replied the one on the right. "Me."

"No, no, no. Do not listen to him!" declared Constantine on the left. "I am the real Kermit."

"That's ridiculous! I am Kermit the Frog!"

"No, I am Kermit the Frog!"

"Hi-lo, Kermit the Frog, here."

"'Hi-lo?' It's 'Hi-ho!'"

Finally, Miss Piggy had enough. "Would every Kermit be quiet?!" she shouted, getting the attention of both frogs. "Well, there's only one sure way to settle this," she turned to Constantine as Lionel played a drumroll. "First Kermit. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course, let's go!" exclaimed Constantine. "The helicopter is waiting, my love!"

And then Miss Piggy looked to the frog on the right. "And you, the other Kermit... Will you marry me?" she asked.

"Well, I mean, I... I would," stammered Kermit, bashfully. "I mean, I could. It's-"

"That's my Kermit!" Miss Piggy exclaimed as she joyfully glomped him, causing the attendants to break into applause.

"I was sure she would be able to tell." Patch smiled as he stood with Angel, Two-Tone, and Furrball.

"Kissy! Kissy!" Miss Piggy beamed as she covered Kermit's face with kisses.

Constantine grumbled as he was defeated before wiping off the make-up on his face to show his mole which made him look very different from Kermit.


The audience then gasped and groaned in horror.

"That is right, Muppets and shoehorned celebrity cameos!" Constantine told them sharply. "I am Constantine: the world's most dangerous frog and number one criminal!"

The audience looked horrified yet again.

"And a thousand times more frog than this Kermit person!" Constantine then added as he brought out a device with a button on it. "And now, I have only one thing to say to you fools! Good night, folks!"

"What is that?" Mo asked.

"It's a bomb!" Constantine replied with a dark smirk.

"This is where my patented magnetic bomb-attractor vest can aid us, that Beaker is conveniently wearing." Dr. Honeydew remarked as he showed his dear friend/assistant in a metal suit, wandering about as he looked a little nervous.

"What?" Miss Piggy asked. "What's going on?" she then suddenly yelled out as her ring began to pull herself to the metal suit by her ring as it started to countdown which made the others realize something...

"Wait!" Atticus called out.

"Miss Piggy's ring is the bomb!" Atticus, Cherry, Lionel, Mo, and Thor gasped in unison.

"Some of you guys grab Piggy, and some of you guys grab me!" Kermit instructed as the group grabbed onto Piggy, while some of the others grabbed onto Kermit, who was clinging to the metal suit. "Pull!"

And so they all yanked, and tugged, and heaved, until...the ring was popped off, and Beaker was sent flying through the stained-glass window.

"It's only 800 years old." The preacher shrugged.

Beaker flew into the Thames River, just seconds before the ring-bomb exploded. Fortunately for him, he wasn't too badly hurt.

"Nicely done, Beaker!" congratulated Dr. Honeydew, as his assistant was tossed about in place by a gushing waterspout.

Just then, a cry rang out. "Kermit! Help!" Miss Piggy called.

"Piggy!" Kermit exclaimed.

"Help...!"

"She's on the roof!" Skeeter exclaimed, pointing upwards.


On said roof, Constantine was heading for his getaway helicopter, with a sow in tow. "Shut up and keep moving, pig! You are my insurance policy!" he snapped, as he flung open the door to the helicopter's cockpit, only to see Dominic dressed in gray-and-white striped clothes, while Boris and Natasha were in the back. including a hoodie with a pair of ears on top. "Number Two, you look ridiculous. Why are you wearing that?"

"Because I am the Lemur," declared Dominic. "And the world's new number one criminal. That's right. This is where I double-cross you."

Constantine gave a flat look. "First rule of double-cross. You don't announce the double-cross before you double-cross. It's not even a rule because it is so obvious." he then stated.

"He does make good point," Boris shrugged. "Is common villain knowledge."

"Even we know that when I lie to Fearless Leader about Moose, Squirrel, and adventurers before we go back to Cartoon World." Natasha added.

Constantine then took out his controller and pushed the button which blew Dominic right out of the way from the escape helicopter. "The Lemur is literally worse bad guy name I have ever heard!" he then told his ex-partner.

Boris and Natasha put their hands up as Constantine came into the helicopter with Miss Piggy in tow.

"You better not try to double-cross me too also." Constantine firmly told Boris and Natasha.

"Who, us?" asked Natasha. "Perish thought, darlink!"

"Last name is Badenov, not Brainless!" Boris agreed.

Just then, Kermit and the others got to the roof as Constantine was getting the helicopter started.

"He's getting away!" Fozzie exclaimed. "What are we gonna do?"

Kermit shot a glare that could pierce through solid steel. "...I'm gonna stop that helicopter." he declared. And so, he charged into action.

"We're coming!" called the other Muppets, as they joined in on the rescue. Kermit clung to the landing gear, and the other Muppets, along with the group, clung to him, then to one another, as their combined weight began to pull the helicopter down.

Miss Piggy whimpered and cried helplessly.

"Shut up, Pig!" Constantine glared.

"Maybe we slice you to make roast with garlic, cheese, and onions stuffed into you." Boris threatened Miss Piggy, a bit graphically.

"Have a taste of the Muppet Ladder!" Cherry called out as she and the others helped out with the Muppets.

The helicopter lowered a bit as Constantine kept trying to move it.

"We've gotcha now, Constantine!" Atticus called out.

"You adventure brats always ruin story with meddling!" Natasha complained as she saw Atticus, Cherry, and Mo, remembering them from a previous adventure.

"Hey, it's a talent," Lionel shrugged with a grin. "And it's what we do best!"

"You're ruining my getaway!" Constantine spat as he tried to fly away.

"Hang on, Piggy! I'm coming!" Kermit declared as he made his way up the Muppet Ladder.

"Go get 'em, Kermit!" Walter cheered as the amphibian reached the end of the ladder.

Miss Piggy soon found a way to escape and decided to use it as Constantine was distracted.

"Welcome aboard, Kermit," Constantine glared as he pointed a gun at the good frog. "You don't know who you're dealing with. I am the world's most dangerous frog."

"Oh, brother!" Miss Piggy scoffed once she got free and stood up to Constantine. "You may be the world's most dangerous frog, but you're still a frog!" she then grabbed him and whacked him all around inside the helicopter to teach him a lesson. "No one tricks me into marrying them and then hurts my Kermie!"

Constantine soon looked a bit dazed, but looked at Miss Piggy with awe. "What a woman!"

"Yeah. My woman," Kermit retorted before he smacked the fake mole onto Constantine's other cheek. "And I believe this belongs to you."

Constantine grunted in a pained daze before passing out in the helicopter seat.

"Maybe you two would like to be next." Miss Piggy threatened Boris and Natasha.

Boris and Natasha begged and pleaded to not be involved with Miss Piggy's violence.