Ch. 21
"You look well enough."
Vic fought the urge to roll her eyes as she slowly approached Sawyer Crane. He stood near the rear door of city hall, where his office was housed. His car was the only other one in the lot.
"I must have missed the part where you were a doctor as well as the mayor."
He smirked at the comment.
"All I'm saying is…"
Vic cut in.
"I know what you're saying. I'm not stupid. What you're saying is that I lied and I don't appreciate that."
She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulled out the hospital band she had cut off of her wrist. Without a word, she tossed it to Crane. He just barely caught it in both hands. Holding it up, he inspected the information. Vic tilted her head at him and extended her hand, palm up. He dropped the bracelet back into her palm and she tucked it back into her pocket.
"So, you really were in the hospital. My apologies."
He didn't sound the least bit sorry or sincere. Vic tucked her hands into her pockets. Crane motioned at his car.
"Come on."
Vic stayed where she was.
"Where are we going?"
Crane shook his head indicating he didn't plan to tell her.
"You'll see when we get there."
Vic kept her feet planted in place on the asphalt.
"You're asking me to take an awful lot on faith here. For all I know, you could shoot me and dump me in the middle of nowhere."
Crane grimaced.
"That's dramatic. I assure you that you are safe with me, Deputy. No reason to be afraid."
A small smile tugged at Vic's face.
"I'm not afraid. More cautious."
He sighed.
"Somewhere secure. Where we can talk safely and uninterrupted. That's all."
Vic bit her lip and her eyes shifted to the car.
"I keep my gun."
He smiled.
"Fair enough. If I get out of line, I have no doubt you will shoot me."
Vic moved around to the passenger door.
"Bet your ass I will."
She slid in and closed the door. Crane took a seat behind the wheel and started the car. Vic looked out the window as he pulled out and onto the street. She kept her eyes on the passing scenery, making a mental map of where they were going.
"Were you sick?"
Vic glanced his way across the dark car.
"It's personal."
"So you say."
Vic turned her eyes back to the window.
"Look, you don't trust me and I don't trust you. That's probably never going to change."
She could see him look her way quickly out of the corner of her eye.
"That's a bleak outlook."
Vic's chin dipped a little.
"Or a realistic one."
He tapped his hand on the wheel.
"You don't trust easily I take it."
Vic blew out a breath.
"No, I don't. So, don't take it personally."
"Me either. Painful price of politics. Everyone is looking out for themselves. Looking for any opportunity to advance their own career, their own cause."
"And you're different."
She heard him laugh, mostly to himself.
"Would you believe me if I told you I really cared about Durant?"
Vic shrugged.
"Do you really care what I think?"
"If we're going to work together in the future, there needs to be some level of trust. We don't have to be friends, but we do need to get along."
Vic didn't look at him.
"You can get along without trusting someone."
He was quiet for a minute. Vic noticed that he had driven out of the center of town and was nearing the line between Durant and the rest of Absaroka County.
"Do you trust the man you work for?"
Vic kept her eyes on the darkness outside and refused to have a reaction. She could only assume that was what he was looking for.
"When you're a cop, you have to trust the people you work with. At least, on some level."
"I can understand that."
She looked out the front windshield.
"Walt isn't a bad man. Old fashioned, but he's not a bad person."
"You sound almost soft."
She shook her head.
"Not necessarily. It's just the truth."
She could feel Crane conceding to her point.
"I know he's not a bad person. But, he doesn't care about the future of this town. Not like I do. I want to bring business and jobs to the people here. How can you argue against progress like that?"
Vic shrugged.
"I guess it's a matter of perception. Maybe he feels the same way about you. Either way, that's between the two of you."
"So, Deputy Moretti, who else do you trust?"
Vic ran her palm over the leg of her jeans.
"Myself."
The headlights of a passing car lit up his face briefly. Vic turned her head to avoid the glare.
"Good answer. I am curious. What would it take for you to trust me?"
Vic shrugged.
"I'm not sure that's possible. This whole thing is too…secretive. You clearly don't trust me. So, why should I trust you? In my experience, trust is a mutual thing."
He turned the car into the driveway of a house and parked.
"That it is. So, here is a good faith offer. You can walk away right now, no harm done. Or, you can take the final step in all of this."
Vic looked at him, his face shadowed.
"The final step?"
He could hear the question in her words. Crane sat with is hand on the door handle.
"I trust you're not backing out?"
Vic shook her head.
"That's not my style."
He smiled.
"I didn't think it was. That means, from here on out, you're in this. We…are in this."
Vic held his eyes, not wavering at the unspoken challenge he just tossed out to her.
"Okay."
Pausing for only a second longer, he pulled the door handle and got out. Vic opened her door and followed him slowly to the door of the house. He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the door.
Vic hesitated.
"Where are we?"
Crane glanced her way as he pushed the door open.
"My house."
Vic gave him a skeptical look.
"It's pretty common knowledge that you live in town. We aren't in town."
He held the door open for her.
"I do live in town. But, you're operating on the assumption that I only have one home. That is incorrect. Well, technically this isn't my home. But, it is mine."
Vic stepped inside and looked around the sparsely furnished living room she found herself in.
"So…what are we doing here?"
Crane looked nonchalant.
"Establishing some trust. Or…something approaching that. I know that Rome wasn't built in a day, but you have to start somewhere. This is a rental property. I own three of them as well as my residence in Durant."
"Oh-kay."
Her tone made it clear she had no idea where he was going with this.
"This one is available."
Vic eyed Crane.
"And?"
He smiled.
"That's right. You're a direct person. It's like this. You…meet my needs. I help you with yours. I need to take down Walt Longmire. You need a place to live."
"I have a place to live."
The reply came quickly.
"Your RV. Right. If you plan for people to take you seriously as Sheriff, then you will take this offer seriously. No one wants to elect someone whose home has wheels under it."
Vic made a face, but didn't say anything. Crane looked around.
"You like it?"
Vic shrugged.
"Pretty sure I can't afford it."
Crane smiled.
"That all depends on you. On what all of this is worth to you. You've had plenty of time, Deputy. And, now it's the moment of truth. I need something concrete on Longmire. If it's good enough, I would consider giving you a steep discount on the rent. This could be the first step in you taking over once Walt is out of the way. So…what do you say?"
Vic looked around the house. There wasn't anything special about it. It was fairly small, roughly the size of her old place with Sean. Probably two bedrooms and a modest kitchen. She turned in a small circle, like she was taking it all in. Finally, her eyes shifted back to Crane.
"Walt lied to the FBI about what happened at this cabin that day. He killed Barlow Connally while Connally was already down."
"How do you know that?"
Vic folded her arms across her chest.
"I was the first one on the scene. He was…a mess…obviously. He just…rattled on and on about how Connally was the reason his wife was dead. I…agreed to help him clean up the scene. Make look the way he needed it to look before the investigation was out of our hands, which we knew was only a matter of time."
Crane studied her.
"That makes you an accessory."
Vic nodded.
"Yeah, it does. But, Walt and I are the only ones who know the truth."
He tilted his head, studying her.
"I thought you were some great teller of the truth based on your history."
Vic shook her head.
"I learned some hard lessons in Philly. Most importantly, being honest isn't always the best thing to be. Sometimes, you have to look out for yourself. Experience comes at a price. My experience cost me everything and I don't want to make the same stupid mistakes again. I thought that the truth mattered. Turns out…it really doesn't. No one cares about the truth. So, why should I? Besides, whose to say I didn't feel that my job was at risk if I didn't help him."
Crane smiled the slightest bit.
"Do you have any evidence of what you're saying?"
Vic dropped her arms to her side.
"I could probably get him to say something about it. Admit to it. Or, his role in it all."
Crane considered her.
"He's not much of a talker."
Vic smiled at the comment. That was true enough.
"I'm pretty sure I can get him to talk."
"What makes you so sure?"
Vic shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"We've…had sex. He'll…talk to me."
The words came out haltingly. Crane couldn't disguise the surprise that crossed his face. He managed to rein it in fairly quickly.
"You told me…"
Vic waved a hand at him, cutting him off.
"You asked me if Walt had tried to use his job to get me in bed. He hasn't. I told you. He's not like that. It was…consensual. But, I'm guessing most of his constituents wouldn't be too happy to hear their Sheriff slept with someone who worked for him."
She could see him mulling her words.
"Was it just the once?"
"Yes."
"After your divorce?"
Vic hesitated.
"During."
"So, you were still married?"
"Legally, yes.
Crane blew out a breath.
"This…is a lot."
Vic shrugged.
"You wanted damaging information. There you have it. I just hope that you don't intend to go public with it seeing as though that could hurt me. How's that for trust?"
Crane cleared his throat.
"I have no intention of going public. You know that. That would make me look like the bad guy in all this."
Vic smiled in a manner that held no good nature.
"Wouldn't want that, would we?"
Crane frowned.
"I hope that if we are going to work together, you will work on that attitude."
Vic shook her head at him.
"And, now you sound like my parents. So…are we done here? Or…is there more?"
Crane reached into his pocket and held up the house key he had used on the door.
"I assume you are interested in my offer of a place to live?"
"Depends on the rent?"
He laughed quietly.
"You help me with what I need and that will be your rent. For now."
He offered her the key. Vic looked dubious.
"That's it. I give your information, help you get rid of Walt. And, you let me live here?"
He nodded.
"Sure. Seems reasonable for the time being."
A half smile played across her face.
"Sounds like bribery."
xxx
"You were worried for nothing."
Walt gave Vic a look as she sat on his desk with her legs dangling. The recorder sat on the desk beside her. The lights in his office were off except for the lamp. He ran his hand over his hair and paced in front of her.
"You didn't tell me you were gonna say all that?"
Vic frowned.
"All of what? He wanted information. I gave him information."
"We agreed on you telling him I lied to the FBI. Not the rest."
Vic shrugged.
"It didn't feel like enough. I came up with it on the spot."
Walt stopped his movement and stood directly in front of her. Vic studied him.
"Are you mad?"
He shook his head.
"No."
She wasn't buying it.
"Yeah, you are."
Vic sighed.
"We have to push. We're running out of time. We do have evidence that's he's bribing law enforcement. That's a crime. Maybe not the one we're looking for. But, it's something."
"It might have to be enough. I don't like this."
Vic rolled her eyes.
"Don't start that again. Tonight went fine. I was never in any danger. It actually couldn't have gone better. I mean…short of finding out he's in on this with Tucker Baggett."
"Maybe he's not."
"Maybe. But, he's crooked either way."
Walt stepped closer to her and reached out, placing his hands on her thighs. Vic looked up into his face from her perch on his desk.
"What?"
"How are you feeling?"
His features were soft now.
"Fine."
Walt tilted his head.
"Really?"
She shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess. There's no pain or anything."
Walt shook his head, his eyes on her intensely.
"I don't mean physically."
She dropped her eyes from his. Walt ran his palms over the denim of her jeans.
"Vic?"
"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel."
"Any way you want. There's no rulebook dictating feelings."
She inhaled deeply and looked up again.
"How are you?"
"Me?"
Vic nodded.
"Yeah. You're so wrapped up in me, we haven't talked about you. How are you feeling?"
Her voice was quiet and her tone was one he rarely heard from her.
"I'm not the one who had a miscarriage."
Her expression remained serious with a softness to the edge of it.
"This was your loss, too. Maybe in a different way. But…it has to affect you. We haven't talked about that. So…talk to me."
He hesitated. He didn't know how to answer her question honestly. He didn't want to bring up any pain she might be keeping inside by talking about his own feelings. As far as he was concerned, she was the one who needed to talk. But, she had effectively flipped their roles around. The way that she was looking at him gave him nowhere to hide.
"Walt."
Her voice quietly prodded him. Walt shifted on his feet.
"We should go. It's late."
Her eyes grew stormy at his avoidance tactics. He slid his hands from her legs but Vic thumped her feet onto the floor and grabbed his wrist.
"So, you want me to talk about my feelings. But, you don't think you should reciprocate. How is that fair?"
He sighed. In the semi-darkness of his office, something crossed her face. Her eyes were on his, looking dark and shadowed.
"Did…did you not want the baby? Is that what you're afraid to tell me?"
Walt turned to fully face her.
"What?"
She swallowed.
"Is that why you don't want to say anything? Because you never really wanted another child."
"No."
He could read on her face that she didn't believe him.
"You can tell me, Walt."
Walt placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Vic, no. That's…that's not it at all. Yeah, when you first told me you were pregnant, I was scared. I wasn't sure what to think or how to feel. But, this child was never not wanted."
"Then, why won't you talk to me?"
He took a deep breath.
"Because there's no reason for you to be burdened with my feelings."
Her expression told him what her words were about to.
"That is stupid. Walt, you keep things all wrapped up inside of yourself. You always have. You…you won't admit when something hurts you or gets to you. I would think, at this point, you would know that never ends well. I appreciate your concern. I do. But…you are a part of this, too. And, I want to know how you feel. What you're thinking."
Walt knew she was winning this argument. He knew that he would give in. He would rather have this conversation at home in the privacy of his cabin. But, here they were. And, she didn't seem willing to let this go or even willing to put the conversation off. She was honed in on him and he knew how things were when she got that way.
"Disappointed."
He pushed the word out. Vic watched him carefully, gauging him.
"Disappointed?"
She echoed his word back to him. Walt nodded slowly. He could see it slowly dawn over her face. That surprised her. It genuinely did.
"Yes."
Vic took a step back and leaned on his desk.
"You wanted this?"
Walt met her eyes.
"More than I realized."
"I'm sorry."
Walt shook his head at her answer.
"It's not your fault. Don't…go there. It's something that happened. It's…no one's fault. That's why I didn't want to say anything. I don't want you to think I blame you for this. But, yeah. The truth is…I'm disappointed. Sad. The more I thought about the baby, the more I liked the idea."
His shoulders sagged a bit after the last part of his confession. Vic gave him a sad look before she stepped into him and slid her arms around his waist, burying her face in the front of his shirt. Walt pressed his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her and letting it wash over his senses. It was easy to lose himself in the moment. To lose himself in her. The feeling was not unwelcome.
Neither of them was sure how long they stood that way. After a time, she pulled back and swiped her hand across her nose. Walt nodded towards the door.
"Come home with me."
Vic nodded slowly.
"My doctor hasn't cleared me yet."
He knew what she was talking about.
"I don't care about that."
She nodded and moved to grab her jacket. Pulling it on, she adjusted the collar as Walt grabbed his own hat and coat before trailing her to the door. Halfway there, she stopped.
"Walt?"
She kept her face turned away from him.
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
Without waiting for a response, she kept walking.
xxx
"Do you believe her?"
Sawyer Crane swirled around the tumbler in his hand before taking a drink from it, draining the glass. He set the glass on the table with a muted clink. He raised his eyes and looked into the expectant face of Tucker Baggett. The man annoyed him. He was loud and boisterous. There was much about him that grated hard on Sawyer's nerves. But, he was also a firm believer in the old adage about the enemy of an enemy. It didn't make them friends. What it did make them was two people who shared a common goal. He had no issue with using someone to further his own agenda. Their mutual cooperation would give them both what they wanted. After the case was resolved, Tucker Baggett would carry on with his business and Sawyer with his own.
"She seems to be telling the truth. She likes Longmire. But, she seems to see the truth in what I'm saying. I think her information is accurate and true. Longmire doesn't talk to many people. But, he seems to trust her as much as anyone."
Baggett nodded and tapped the rim of his own empty tumbler.
"Do you intend to follow through on your end of things where she is concerned."
Sawyer shrugged.
"What's that to you? Running Absaroka is my job, not yours. You just handle the trial and let me worry about Victoria Moretti."
Tucker raised his hand and waved it at Crane.
"It was just a question. Putting the first female Sheriff into office could do wonders for your political career. It makes you look as progressive as you claim to be."
Crane nodded. That thought had crossed his mind more than once.
"That may all depend on her."
Baggett leaned forward.
"How so?"
Crane pushed up from his chair.
"It all depends on how this all shakes out. How willing she is to achieve the same goals as myself. If she is, then we might have a long, fruitful relationship. If she's not, then that's a shame. But, no one else is going to stand in my way at this point."
Tucker stood up, his large frame causing him to grunt with the effort.
"Keep a tight rein on her. Make sure she's doing what we need. I have no problem going to court, but the sooner this is over, the sooner I can carry on with my own plans. That land he's sitting on is worth so much more than he seems to know. Or care. It's wasted on his sad little cabin. There's so much potential there. So much money to be made."
Crane huffed.
"Is that all you care about? Money?"
Baggett laughed the hearty laugh that got on Sawyer's nerves.
"Money makes the world go round, Sawyer. Money and power. I am a fan of both."
xxx
Vic's eyes opened with a start. Her heart was racing inside her chest and her head hurt. She could feel beads of sweat on her back and chest. She sat up, trying to clear her mind. At first, she couldn't remember what woke her up. As her mind cleared and the pace of her breathing slowed, it came back to her.
It was a dream.
Vic reached up and wiped her hair out of her face. She had hoped her sudden movement hadn't woken Walt. But, he stirred beside her. Vic cursed herself internally as she rolled into his side with a frown etched across his sleepy features. His eyes opened and he looked at her with mild confusion.
"Vic?"
Vic inhaled and tried to swallow the swell of emotions that were building up in her chest.
"Go back to sleep."
He sat up then, his eye still on her.
"Everything alright?"
Vic nodded.
"Yeah."
He watched her in the darkness of the bedroom.
"What's wrong?"
Vic shook her head.
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
The momentary fuzziness was clearing up from his mind and was replaced with concern.
"You have a dream?"
Sometimes, she wondered how he did that. Her silence was answer enough for him. Vic felt his hand on her forearm, arm and soft. Gentle. That was one thing about him that endlessly surprised her. How gentle such a large man could be. She knew what he was capable of physically. Yet, he could be as soft and tender as anyone she had ever met. It was the most perfect contradiction.
"Yes."
She answered quietly.
Walt's hand stayed where it was.
"You wanna talk about it?"
She shook her head slowly and laid back down. Walt remained sitting up until she pulled on him.
"Not tonight."
She tugged at his arm.
"Lie down with me."
For a few seconds, he was caught between wanting to ask her again and giving in to her request. Her soft pull on his arm won out as the internal battle came to a close. He lowered himself down beside her. Vic moved in closer, pushing herself into the curve of his body. He was getting sleepy again as she tucked into him and became still. Walt pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gave in.
xxx
"Morning."
Walt glanced up from where he stood at the coffee pot as Vic came in, her jacket draped over her arm. He nodded in her direction with a smile.
"Good morning."
Vic set her things down and joined him just as the door opened again. This time it was Dave Milgrom who came through looking as flustered as ever, briefcase in hand. He looked their way. Walt held up his coffee cup.
"Morning, Dave. Coffee?"
Milgrom shook his head.
"Already had three cups."
He looked between the two of them.
"So…"
Walt gestured towards his office.
"Come in."
Milgrom bustled into Walt's office followed by Vic. Walt closed the door behind them and took a seat behind his desk. Milgrom sat down across from the desk.
"Any luck?"
The lawyer cut right to the chase. Vic walked around and leaned on the desk.
"We got Sawyer Crane to admit to bribery?"
The comment perked Milgrom up.
"Really? Care to elaborate?"
Vic took a sip from her mug and then set it down.
"He offered me a house rent free in exchange for information on Walt. It's not quite what we're hoping for, but it's better than nothing."
Milgrom nodded.
"That's good. That could go a long way to discrediting him."
Vic sighed.
"We still need to connect him to Tucker Baggett."
Milgrom glanced her way.
"Maybe there is no connection."
She frowned.
"I think there is. He's alluded to there being more people involved in this. So far, he hasn't said who. But, maybe he will."
Milgrom looked from Vic to Walt.
"So, you're still…at it?"
Walt made a face and Milgrom held up his hand.
"I mean recording the conversations."
A smile pulled at Vic as she dipped her face.
"Yeah, we're still at it."
Milgrom sighed.
"We have a firm date for the depositions."
That comment grabbed Walt's attention.
"When?"
"Friday."
Walt shook his head.
"I was hoping this would be over by then."
Milgrom seemed to be taking it in stride.
"This is normal. Just…tell the truth and try not to let him trip you up. That will be Tucker's goal. To try and make you look bad or sound bad. We have our list and they have theirs, which brings me to my next point."
His eyes moved to Vic. She raised her brow.
"What?"
"Baggett is sending you a summons."
It was news she clearly wasn't expecting.
"Me?"
Dave nodded.
"Yes, you."
"Why?"
Milgrom shrugged.
"He hasn't said. Don't expect him to. He sees you as a relevant witness in this case. He has the right to question you."
"Shit."
She sighed the word, reaching up to rub her head. Milgrom stood up.
"Want some advice?"
"Sure."
"Keep your answers short and to the point. And, don't lose your temper."
Vic rolled her eyes.
"Right. Easy."
Milgrom picked up his briefcase.
"Walt and I will be there."
Vic looked to Walt.
"You're going to the depositions?"
He nodded.
"Yep."
She looked between the two men.
"Great."
Milgrom lifted his hand at Walt.
"Nine on Friday. Don't be late."
Walt nodded again.
"Right."
Milgrom bustled out the door, leaving them alone. Vic folded her arms across her chest.
"Damn, I hate this."
Walt stood up and came around his desk.
"Just tell the truth."
She gave him a look that was full of skepticism.
"You make that sound so easy. The truth. Which truth? The one where we're sleeping together. Or maybe the truth where I was pregnant. No, maybe how we're trying to catch him and the mayor in some kind of conspiracy. This…this is bad, Walt. Why does he even want to talk to me?"
Walt touched her arm.
"I don't know. But, Dave is right. The best thing you can do is stay calm and answer his questions as directly as possible."
She huffed out a humorless laugh.
"Why does everyone tell me to stay calm?"
Walt half smiled.
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
Vic rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"No, I don't."
His hand squeezed her arm. Vic tugged her arm free and stepped away from him, her hands on her hips.
"I was just hoping it wouldn't come to this."
"I know."
Vic turned to face him.
"What if he knows?"
"How could he?"
Vic shrugged.
"I don't know. I just…why is he questioning me? I wasn't on his radar at first. Now, suddenly I am. It doesn't feel right."
Walt didn't know what to tell her. He had similar thoughts. But, there was no reason for him to voice his concerns as well as Vic. Nothing was served by panic or overreacting. He knew that beyond any doubt. The best thing they could do was follow Milgrom's advice for the time being. Vic dropped her face.
"Maybe we should push Crane harder. Set up a meeting."
Walt shook his head.
"He calls you. That's the way it's been. If you push too hard, he's liable to get suspicious."
She was frustrated. He knew that. But, he could also see in her face that she knew he was right. Now was not the time to get sloppy and tip their hands. If they were going to see this through, they had to stay the course.
"You're right. And, I know that. I just…"
Her voice faded out, but he knew what she was going to say anyway. Vic exhaled.
"I should get to work."
She started for his door, but Walt reached out and caught her wrist.
"Vic."
Stopping, she turned to him.
"Are you okay?"
She gave him a funny look.
"Fine. Why?"
"Last night."
Something flashed across her eyes and was gone just as quickly. Her face closed off and she shook her head at him.
"Not here. Okay?"
There wasn't much he could do but agree with her request. Without waiting for an answer, Vic left his office.
xxx
Walt rapped on Vic's trailer door. He knew she was there. Her truck was parked out on the parking pad and her lights were on. Sure enough, the door swung open. She looked down at him.
"Hey. What're you doing here?"
Walt ran his eyes over her. She looked okay. She didn't look upset or like she had been crying. She was dressed in a tank top and cotton pants like maybe she was getting ready for bed. He did take note of the dark circles under her eyes.
"You left a little early. Didn't say anything."
Vic stepped back and waved him inside. Walt stepped up into the RV, removing his hat. She closed the door and turned to him, crossing her arms.
"You shouldn't be here. Someone could be watching."
Walt didn't seem concerned.
"Me being here for a few minutes isn't suspicious. Everything okay?"
"Fine. I was done for the day."
"Still, you could've told me you were leaving."
Vic sighed.
"Is there something you need?"
Her abruptness caught him off guard. Walt looked around the RV before his eyes shifted back to Vic.
"No. I was worried."
She shrugged.
"I'm fine. I wasn't aware you tracked my comings and goings so closely."
He frowned.
"Vic, what's wrong?"
He could see that she was agitated.
"Nothing."
He let out a sigh.
"You want to talk about it?"
Vic shook her head.
"Not particularly."
Walt clearly wasn't giving in.
"Vic."
He could see her biting on the inside of her cheek. He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. She pulled her shoulder loose from his grasp and dropped her arms to her side. He watched quietly as she walked over to the couch and sat down. Walt moved to sit across from her so that he could see her face. Vic rubbed her left arm with her right hand almost absently.
"I had a dream last night."
He nodded slowly.
"You told me. What did you dream about?"
She looked down.
"I could hear a baby crying. But…I couldn't find it. I looked…everywhere and couldn't find it. It just kept crying and crying."
Near the end, her voice quivered. Walt looked down at his own hands giving her room to process what seemed to be hanging over her.
"That's what woke you up?"
She gave him a wordless nod. Sniffling, she looked up.
"I could still hear it when I woke up."
Walt raised his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me."
His question was met with a shrug. She seemed pulled into herself. When she got that way, she could be hard to reach. Hard to pull back. She was looking down again, disconnecting. Walt stood up and moved to sit beside her. His sleeve brushed her bare arm when he sat close to her.
"I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."
She looked his way.
"It's not that. I just…I don't know how to mourn…this. I mean…we never…the baby…"
Her voice broke off. Walt slid his arm around her then. He expected to be met with resistance. Instead, she leaned into him, her body shaking a little. He knew she was crying. He knew she needed to cry. They sat that way as the minutes ticked by. How many minutes passed wasn't important. The moment was all that mattered. Walt sat in silence, holding her up against him. Whatever she needed, he would be here to offer it. In that moment, she was all that mattered to him.
Finally, he felt her move away. Loosening his grip on her, Vic sat up and wiped her eyes. She shook her head with a sad look.
"Sorry."
Walt offered her a gentle smile.
"Don't apologize. You need to get it out."
She sniffled.
"I loved her. Him or her."
She said the words slowly. Leaning forward, Vic rested her arms on her thighs.
"I loved this baby. But, now that's over. And, I don't know what to do with what I feel."
She sounded waterlogged and tired.
"You have to feel it, Vic. It's the only way out."
He was speaking from experience. If he could spare her some of the pain he had experienced, he would.
"It hurts."
She pushed the words out as fresh tears slid down her face. Walt nodded.
"I know. I hurt, too. I…loved her, too. You…you don't have to do this by yourself. I want to be here for you, Vic. Whatever you need."
She nodded slowly.
"I know that. I just…you have your own problems. You don't need mine."
"Your problems are my problems. That's…how this works."
He felt her sigh. Walt placed his hand on her back.
"You want to come home with me?"
She shook her head.
"No, I'll be okay."
He was torn. He wanted to respect her wishes. But, he also wanted to be there for her. He wanted to ease her pain if he could. Walt let his slide down her back and onto the couch.
"You sure?"
Vic ran her hands over her face and stood up.
"Yeah. I'm sorry if I worried you. I…I didn't mean to."
"I know. I just wanted to check on you. I want you to promise me something."
He lifted his at and turned the brim around in his hands. Vic looked up and met his eyes.
"What's that?"
"Call me if you need me. Don't do this by yourself. This burden isn't yours to carry alone."
She nodded slowly.
"Okay. I will."
Her eyes drifted to the clock.
"You should go. We don't know that this place isn't being watched."
Walt bent his head down and pressed his mouth softly to hers. Vic responded with pressure of his own. He wanted to pull her to him. Wanted to be with her. But, he knew it was too soon for that. Pulling back, he placed his hat on his head and reached for the door.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Vic smiled.
"Yeah. Goodnight."
