No trigger warnings! As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading!
There was no reason why that stupid purple door should scare him. It was just a room like any other in the mindscape. Roman and Logan had double checked every preventive seal in the house and then searched every room to be sure no unwanted guests had been hiding out since before the seals were put in place. There was absolutely no reason why his very own bedroom should scare him to the point he had only entered it all of twice since being given his freedom. Yet here he was, trembling outside the door he knew he shouldn't fear. As he looked at the door he couldn't help but place blame on it, calling it the sole reason for his remaining paranoia about the dark sides. After all it was the door he had once hidden all of his secrets behind. It might be his room but it had been invaded without warning multiple times. If he could just reclaim his room, maybe he'd stop being afraid. Even if it was just a little, he had to do it, for himself and his boyfriends. He had to reclaim his room as a safe spot like any of the others' rooms.
Virgil's hand fell on the door knob and he turned the handle. He bit down on his bottom lip, trying to still his trembling. He couldn't bring himself to push the door open. He needed to calm himself down. Count to three and push it open. It's just like ripping off a bandaid. One. Two.
"Virgil, are you coming?"
"Oh thank god," Virgil breathed, removing his hand from the handle and placing it against his chest, thankful for Roman's timely call.
He wanted to enter his room again, but he welcomed the opportunity to procrastinate.
"I'm coming Princy, hold your horses," Virgil shouted back, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he walked over to the stairs.
"You have no idea how right you are," Roman replied with a deep laugh.
Virgil paused in his steps trying to process the words Roman had just said. He took long blinks as he mouth the question "what?". In an attempt to de-stress everyone Roman had planned a nice outing in the imagination for everyone. Virgil could also assume this meant something as over top as the prince himself. Virgil let out a breath as he continued forward, a smile growing when he saw all three of his boyfriends waiting for him in the living room.
"So what is it you have planned for us today?" Virgil asked with a raised brow as he looked up at Roman.
"An adventure!" Roman announced proudly as he threw open the door to the portal.
"This isn't one of those dangerous, you might literally die, adventures you sometimes go on?" Virgil asked worriedly.
"I simply suggest a journey not a quest. I learned my lesson about taking any of you questing a long time ago," Roman replied sheepishly.
"I must agree, your so-called 'questing' did not have a very fortunate outcome," Logan smirked, fixing his glasses.
"I've told you I was sorry. It was not my best plan to give two inexperienced individuals a sword and jump into a 'protect the town' scenario," Roman said, a pout growing on his face.
"Hey, our Prince Charming came to save us. All's well that ends well, right?" Patton hummed, leaning against Roman's arm.
"Hm, I don't believe I've heard about this one yet. Care to elaborate, Princy?" Virgil asked teasingly.
"A minor kidnapping predicament that I have no care to repeat. As I said, I don't do questing with partners anymore," Roman replied, looking away.
Virgil couldn't help but notice the way the light in Roman's eyes darkened and how his formerly loose fist tightened so his nails were digging into his skin. Virgil let out a breath as his own expression softened as he walked over to Roman, poking him lightly on the forehead.
"Well, I'm waiting to see this adventure you have planned?" Virgil hummed expectantly.
Roman's expression brightened again as he leaned against the door frame, his arm moving to rest on Patton's shoulders, sending a smile over to the other two.
"Then an adventure you will receive," he replied nodding his head towards the portal.
He and Patton entered first, soon followed by Virgil and Logan. On the other side of the portal Virgil was left blinking in surprise yet again when he came face to face with four large horses waiting outside of Roman's royal stables. Patton had already hugged the surprisingly patient Dappled Gray.
"Hey Clover, I missed you girl," Patton hummed happily.
"I take it this isn't the first time Roman has showed up with random horses?" Virgil said, raising a brow at Logan.
"He has taken us on a few trail rides to different locations," Logan replied walking over to a red roan and lightly stroking his nose. "He typically brings the same horses and dubbed them as ours and let us name them. This right here is Sleipnir."
"And this is Samson," Roman said, patting his large cream stallion.
It took Virgil a moment to recognize the Disney reference to Prince Philip's horse. Of course the fantasifull side would name his horse something like that.
"And this little beauty right here is who I brought for you," Roman continued, leaning over to rub another horse's back.
Virgil's eyes focused on the flaxen liver chestnut. He had to admit Roman was right about her being beautiful. He loved the contrast between her sleek dark brown fur and his pale red almost gold colored mane.
"From today forward she's all yours. You can name her and take her out of the castle stables any time you'd like," Roman grinned proudly before hoisting himself up onto Samson.
Virgil blinked up at Roman and looked back at the others to see them also pulling themselves up into the saddles of their own horses. Given the context clues he should have thought about it sooner but it only hit him now that he was expected to ride his new horse, something he didn't know the first thing about how to do.
"Oh, Virgil do you need some help getting up?" Patton asked, walking Clover up beside Virgil and his own horse.
"Nope, I've got this," Virgil replied quickly, too embarrassed to admit he probably did need help.
He took a breath and thought back to how the other three had mounted their horses, he just had to mimic them and it should work. It couldn't be that difficult. He placed his hands firmly on the saddle, silently cursing the fact it was eastern styled and didn't have a horn for him to use as a grip. He put his right foot in the stirrup and bounced lightly trying to prepare himself. He put his weight into his right foot and hands and swung up his left leg only to have it fall short of the momentum he needed. His foot rested on the ground again and he could feel the familiar threatening tingle of his feline attributes wanting to present themselves. Virgil puffed out his cheeks as he bent his knees. In one swift movement he sprang up again, swinging his leg over the horse's back. He wobbled a bit in the saddle but managed to get his other foot in the sturup and shakily grabbed onto the horse's bridle.
"Wow, you're much better at this than I was. Roman had to help me get up into the saddle the first several times he took us out riding," Patton laughed, embarrassedly rubbing the back of his neck.
Virgil pressed his lips together in a tight line. He couldn't admit to Patton that he had only gotten up on his own out of pure pride and embarrassment.
"Well, our handsome Dark and Stormy Knight has been working out with me frequently. He does have some good upper body strength now," Roman said, casting him a charming and supportive smile.
"Yeah… I guess…" Virgil bit his bottom lip for a second before letting out a breath and continuing. "So, how exactly does one ride a horse? I don't really know-"
"Quite simple darling. We won't be going much faster than a walk and she is well trained so there isn't much to know. Give a gentle tap with your heel when you want her to move, pull back on the reins a little if you want her to stop, if you want to turn lightly tug the reins in the direction you want to go. As I said we won't be going very fast so you don't have to worry about much but keep a good grip with your thighs and everything will be fine," Roman replied.
Virgil felt his stomach twisting nervously, he felt too high up one his horse, like he would fall. Or he could accidentally hurt his horse, he didn't want to hurt anyone. Virgil's grip continued to tighten around the leather reins until a gentle hand rested on top of his. Virgil looked up to see Logan had come over to him.
"If you do not feel comfortable we can make changes. You can ride with one of us or Roman can summon in a carriage or something of the sort. There is no pressure to go riding if you do not want to do this," Logan reassured.
"It's okay… I want to try," Virgil replied after a moment, nodding almost as if he were agreeing with his own decision.
Logan let out a breath through his nose, a corner of his lip curling upwards a little as he removed his hand from Virgil's.
"Shall we be on our way then?" Logan asked, turning to look at Roman.
"Yes, and I have the perfect place for us. It's not too far from town either," Roman replied cheerfully, tapping his own horse and making a clicking noise with his tongue to make him go.
Virgil nervously mirrored his movements, Patton and Logan reassuringly remaining close by his side as he swayed unsteadily in the mare's saddle as she moved. Patton gave encouraging words that he was doing great while Logan gave him pointers of how to sit properly so he wouldn't feel unsteady. He soon found himself surprised to find that he wasn't actually that afraid anymore, not to say he wasn't worried about falling off and getting stepped on, but he actually found it rather enjoyable. The rhythmic sound of the hoofs against the gravel paths of the town surrounding Roman's castle was relaxing. He could probably get used to this and likely would if this was as common of a date as Logan and Patton made it out to be.
Roman led the group through the quaint bustling town. It was so lively with people, music, and the intoxicating smells of good food. Virgil made a mental note to remind Roman to show him around here one of these days. Just another thing on his list of things he wanted to do with his boyfriends one of these days, he supposed.
The edge of town grew closer, leading into a deciduous forest, rich with earthy colors and thick foliage. Bright golden sunlight leaked through the leaves to dapple the worn dirt path that they traveled. Roman angled his horse off onto a slightly obscured path a minute or two down the main road, leading them deeper into the forest. The sound of running water rang through the air as they went further up the path until coming out into a small clearing filled with soft grass and daisies. A stream cut through the middle of the clearing, it's sparkling clear waters only about ankle deep with a few large rocks sitting in it. On the other side of a clearing a doe and her fawn had been grazing until they arrived, leaving them to scamper off into the forest.
"Well what do you guys think? A nice place to relax right?" Roman said, looking to the others for their approval.
A large smile spread on Patton's face.
"Can we go play in the water Lo, please? Please? Please?" Patton begged, giving Logan his puppy dog eyes.
"I don't see why not," he replied.
"Yes!" Patton said, practically flinging himself off of his horse to run over to Logan's side and tug on his hand until he two dismounted.
Virgil brought his attention over to Roman to see he had already dismounted his own horse. Virgil looked down at the ground and bit his lower lip again, unsure of how to get down.
"Need some help, V?" Roman asked walking over.
"Kinda?" Virgil replied, looking down at the ground nervously again.
"Alright, I'm right here. Just slowly swing your other leg over to this side and put your hands on my shoulder," Roman said.
Virgil did as he was told and Roman's hands moved to his waist, easily pulling him off the horse and lowering him to the ground slowly.
"And there we go, safe on the ground," Roman grinned, kissing Virgil's forehead lightly before releasing his hold on him. "Why don't you go to the other's? I'll join you in a minute."
Roman took Virgil's horse's reins in his hands and left to go grab all of the others. Virgil made his way over to the stream and peeled off his shoes and socks, leaving them by where Patton and Logan had left theirs. Virgil went over to one of the large rocks and perched himself on top of it, watching Logan and Patton kneel down and look through the rocks at the bottom of the stream. When they heard him Patton looked up excitedly.
"You wanna help us look for newts and frogs?" Patton asked.
"Nah, I'll just stay over here and watch. I'm not a very big fan of reptiles."
"Actually both newts and frogs are amphibians," Logan corrected.
"Same difference," Virgil shrugged.
"Alright Kiddo, feel free to join us if you change your mind," Patton chirped cheerfully.
The two of them went back to their search. Virgil could tell every time they'd find something because Patton would brighten up and start squealing about how cute each and every one of them was.
"Sneak attack!"
All three of them were startled by their fourth boyfriend jumping into the stream, kicking up water at Logan and Patton.
"Ah," Patton gasped playfully. "I'm going to get you for that!"
As promised Patton kicked water right back up at Roman, who reciprocated by leaning down and scooping up water to throw right back at them. Roman and Patton both let out squeals of laughter as they got into a playful battle of splashing each other, drenching poor Logan in the crossfire. The game went on until they both burned themselves out, doubled over in now painful laughter.
Virgil, the only one still dry in the group, was watching from the top of his rock, covering his mouth to muffle his own laughter. Roman still managed to hear him as his own laughs died down. He turned to the anxious side with a devious grin on his face, slowly stalking towards him. Virgil raised a brow, daring him to try to splash him and Roman continued to move closer. Once he got in splashing range he picked up his foot to kick the water at Virgil but Virgil scooped up some water and flung it at Roman's face making him close his eyes and sputter. Virgil took his moment to jump off of the rock and back to dry ground. He paused a moment to give Roman a playful two fingered salute. He then wandered deeper into the clearing and flopped on his back in the soft grass. Patton and Roman soon joined him cuddling up against either side of him, while Logan sat cross legged somewhere behind his head. He chuckled to himself as he realized that he was getting soaked by both of those cuddling him and that was likely their plan. He had to admit, it was worth it and the warm sun would likely dry them off quickly anyways. For now he could just lay back and watch the lazily moving clouds in the sky. Relaxing in the peaceful silent company of the others. This was not a typical Roman styled date where everything was over the top and romantic, this was exactly what he said it was, a relaxing afternoon between lunch and dinner to forget about all of the anxiety that Virgil's hallucinations a couple days ago had brought. Virgil liked it, a lot.
Time went by and no one felt much obligation to talk or do anything in particular. Logan had summoned one of his books and had taken to lying in the grass reading. Roman had grown restless of lying around cuddling and was currently showing off his sword skills as he did some practice swings with his katana. Patton was the last to get up and go to his horse and started braiding it's mane, picking Daisies and weaving them into the braids.
Virgil continued to watch the clouds a little longer before getting up to join Patton and give his own mare some attention. He wasn't any good at braiding so he instead chose to just give her attention by petting her.
"Have you chosen a name for her yet?"
Virgil looked up to see Roman approaching him. He then looked back at the horse for a moment. He didn't want to name her anything complicated but he also thought it should probably mean something as well.
"Dawn," he finally replied after a long pause.
"That's surprisingly not an emo name for having come from you," Roman said, with a smirk.
Virgil shrugged, "Felt right."
"I think it's perfect," Patton replied with a smile, finishing off the last braid in Clover's mane.
Patton's phone began going off in his pocket and he reached down to grab it and turn it off.
"That's my alarm to start dinner, we should probably head back," Patton suggested.
Virgil could hear Logan's book snap closed as he got up to join them. Virgil took one last look around the clearing, wondering what he should do with himself until dinner was done. Maybe he could get Roman to play some video games with him. Or Logan to read to him. Virgil's mind drifted off to what he had been about to do before they left on their little outing. His stomach felt funny at the thought of it and he cautiously glanced at the others.
"H-hey guys, can I make a weird request?" Virgil asked hesitantly.
"Of course darling what is it?" Logan replied, looking a little worried.
"It's nothing bad. It's just, I've been thinking. I really haven't gone into my own room since… you know. I don't want to keep avoiding it forever. I was wondering if maybe one of you wanted to maybe spend the night there with me tonight so I can try to kind of, reclaim it, I guess," Virgil requested awkwardly.
"Of course, I'd love to spend the night in your room if that's what you want," Patton piped up.
"Really?" Virgil asked in surprise, he didn't exactly have the nicest room, he didn't figure any of them would readily want to stay in there.
"Of course, if that is what you want. Just make sure you aren't forcing yourself to do something you aren't ready for. It's perfectly understandable that you have been avoiding your room if it doesn't make you feel safe," Patton replied.
"Agreed, and if you change your mind or want someone else to be with you as well, Roman and I are more than willing to aid you," Logan replied.
Virgil smiled up at all of them, the warm light filling his chest again.
"I don't know how it will go, but this is something I want to do. I'm not forcing myself," he reassured them.
He was still terrified of his room but little by little he wanted to break down all of his fears and hopefully make all of his nightmares and flashbacks go away. To him, his room was the next big step he needed to take.
