On Melinda's first Picture Day at Third Street Elementary School, Charles and the others vow to keep her clean. But can the fourth graders manage to stay clean by the time they're ready when all the younger kids go to take their photos, and some of them are getting messy? And how will they avoid getting caught in the crossfire?

Inspired by the "Recess" episode "One Stayed Clean"

October 10, 1966. Picture Day was to be a hard day, at least for the kids, but it would be especially hard for Melinda, for this was her first Picture Day at Third Street School.

It started out like any normal Monday morning. At 6 AM, Melinda awoke her father Christopher. But in this case, unlike most other Monday mornings, Melinda cried out with joy, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! It's Picture Day!"

Christopher arose drowsily from his slumber, and he chuckled, "Okay, okay, Melinda. I'm up."

Melinda did everything to prepare for her fourth-grade class picture. She combed her hair, she ironed her clothes (something her mother had taught her while they were still on the farm), and she donned her best white dress.

And when she appeared before her father, he was amazed. Melinda was as pretty as a picture, which put these words into his mouth: "You look just like your mother on our wedding day."

As Christopher thought about his deceased wife, Melinda's mother, and knew that she could no longer see their daughter looking so radiant, he almost wept. But Christopher held back the tears, knowing that he could not tell Melinda about what had happened to her mother until a lot later.

"You look great, princess," said Christopher.

"Thanks, daddy," Melinda replied.

"This is your very first Picture Day. Make daddy proud."

Melinda smiled and said, "I'll do my best, daddy. I'll do my best."


At school, Chas, Drew, Stu, Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Howard were all seated on a bench, dressed in their formal Sunday clothes, but in Didi's case, she was dressed in her Sabbath dress. Stu was dressed in a blue suit and red tie, Betty in a light green dress, Charlotte in a pink dress, and Howard in a pink tuxedo. As for Chas, he was dressed in a black tuxedo with a red bowtie.

"Oh, man," groaned Stu. "Why Picture Day?"

"Why, indeed," sighed Chas.

"Hey, Stu!" shouted Betty. "Looks like you don't have it as bad as your big brother Drew!"

Indeed, all the other kids snickered to see Drew scowling and dressed in a Little Lord Fauntleroy costume.

Drew said defensively, "It's not my fault! My mom made me wear this!"

"Boy, Drew," chuckled Chas. "I can't believe your mom talked you into this."

"Yeah, well, it's bad enough my mom got me lookin' like this, but there's also gonna be a photograph to prove it! I'm burnin' every picture I find!"

And Drew stormed off in a huff.

Then, Betty said, "Ya know, Stu, when I grow up and become a parent, no matter how mad I get, I'm never gonna Picture Day my pups!"

And Stu and Chas agreed with her as Melinda entered.

"Hey, guys! Boy, you're all looking good!" said Melinda as Chas, Stu, and Betty all scowled. "So what time do we fourth graders get our picture taken? Hope it's early!"

Chas, Stu, Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Howard led Melinda to the schedule as Didi explained, "They schedule it according to grade. Kindergartners go first, we first graders go second, and so on."

Stu added, "Therefore, logically, Betty and I, being second graders, would go after Deed and the other first graders."

Charlotte said, "Howard and I, being third graders, would go after the second graders."

And Chas said, "And you, Drew, and I, being fourth graders, would go after the third graders."

Betty finished with: "And you fourth graders will be followed by the fifth graders, and they by the sixth graders, who go last."

"But that means," Drew cried out, "Finster, Cavanaugh, and I have to stay clean for longer than Charlotte, DeVille, Giselle, Pickles, and Kropotkin! That's impossible! How are we fourth graders supposed to get through even the kindergarten picture!?"

"All right, all right, Drew," said Stu. "Remain calm. I can figure this out."

Melinda sighed, "Oh, I understand that Charles and Drew are upset."

"But why, Melinda?" asked Chas.

"If you two get messy, what's the big deal? You've already gotten pictures from your previous grades, but this is my very first class picture at this school."

Chas, Drew, Stu, Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Howard were all taken aback, and they stared at Melinda.

"This is your first class picture at Third Street School?" asked Drew.

"Yes," Melinda replied. "That's why I was so excited to wear this white dress. But we fourth graders have to go after you younger kids. I just want to make my daddy proud."

Chas then approached Melinda, placed his hand on her shoulder, and said, "Look, Melinda. I'm just a kid. This Picture Day doesn't make any sense to me, but the fact is, we're stuck with it. And when I see Melinda, I think to myself, maybe this day doesn't have to be so meaningless after all. If I can have Melinda go home and make her father proud, then that's just good enough for me."

As the other kids saw Chas sit down next to Melinda, they got an idea. Stu said, "Ah, what the heck, Melinda? I'm with you too. Chas and I will keep you clean."

Betty added, "Mud's my gig! It's gonna take me out first."

Charlotte said, "I don't like getting dirty, but it's better me than you, Melinda."

"Same here," added Howard.

Didi said, "As the youngest of us, it's better that I'm the first to go."

And they all stood by Melinda. Even Drew stood next to her and said, "No one's messin' ya up, Cavanaugh. Not while I'm around."


At 8 AM, all was quiet on the playground. The photographer was busy setting up his camera, while Chas' aunt Muriel Finster was busy looking at her watch. As soon as the school bell rang, all the kids got out, slowly and quietly, into the playground.

Then, Miss Finster shouted through her megaphone: "Kindergartners! I repeat, kindergartners! Report to the photographer at once!"

As for the kids, Chas, Drew, Stu, Didi, Betty, Charlotte, and Howard were all surrounding Melinda as Stu gave commands: "Drew, tighten it up on the left. Charlotte, ward off your classmates on the right. Chas, if you see a dirt clod, walk around it. If we're careful, I think we'll make it."

Out on the blacktop, the photographer was preparing to take a photo of the kindergartners, holding up a birdie to get their attention. "Okay, kiddies," he said. "Watch the birdie and say cheese!"

"Cheese!" said the kindergartners as the photographer took their picture.

Once the photo was taken, one of the kindergartners shouted with joy, "Picture's finished! We're free!"

And the kindergartners all ran past Miss Finster as she announced, "First graders! I repeat, first graders! Report to the photographer at once!"

"First graders? That's me!" said Didi. "Sorry, guys, but it's almost over."

And as Didi went to the blacktop to have her photo taken with her classmates, Drew muttered, "Almost over for Kropotkin, the lucky little sap!"

But soon, the kindergartners came in, already dirty for jumping in the mud.

"Man, those kindergartners are havin' the best day of my life!" groaned Betty.

"Oh, man! There must be twenty, no, thirty of them, and they comin' this way!" cried Drew.

But Stu admonished the others, "Just keep moving. Don't let 'em out of your sight. Everything will be okay."

Soon enough, however, a wayward dodgeball, covered with mud, was flying in their direction, whereupon Charlotte punched the dodgeball out of her sight and away from Melinda.

"Thanks for saving me, Charlotte," said Melinda.

Charlotte replied, "No problem, Melinda."

Meanwhile, Didi and the other first graders were having their picture taken. Once the photographer was done, they headed for the lawn to play around as Miss Finster announced, "Second graders! I repeat, second graders! You're up!"

In the playground, under the jungle gym, Stu said to Betty, "Second graders. That means us, Betty."

Betty asked, "How's everything?"

"All clear," said Stu, and he said to Chas, "Betty and I are gonna have our photo taken. You hold down the fort, Chas."

"Okay, Stu," said Chas as he, Charlotte, Howard, and Drew went to the merry-go-round with Melinda.

Soon enough, Didi reunited with the other five while her classmates got to drinking juice boxes and playing maul ball.

Chas sighed, "Oh, man! All this hummin' across country sure does make me thirsty. When this is all over, I'm heading straight for Kelso's and ordering me an extra-large glass of root beer."

The others nodded in agreement.

"How about you, Drew?" asked Chas. "What are you gonna do when we've got our picture taken?"

Drew added, "I'm dreamin' of a big, fat, messy game of maul ball. But first, I'm gonna take some special time to cream any kid who makes a wisecrack about this outfit! How about you, Kropotkin?"

Didi replied, "Me? Now that my picture has been taken, I'm just gonna have a tea party."

"Okay," said Charlotte. "That should be good clean fun. You just sip tea daintily, and no one makes a mess."

But suddenly, one of Didi's classmates accidentally bumped into her, causing her to spill her tea all over her dress.

"Oh, no!" cried Didi. "I was gonna wear this dress to synagogue!"

"Then you should consider yourself lucky," Charlotte replied. "You've already had your picture taken, while I had to shield Melinda from a muddy dodgeball. Look what happened to my arm!"

And she showed Didi her mud-covered arm.

"You know what," said Chas, "if I were Stu, I would know that, although some of us might get dirty, we gotta keep moving to protect Melinda."

Didi sighed, "Well, good luck."

And by 9:30 AM, Chas, Drew, Howard, Charlotte, and Melinda were on the lookout for anything that might look remotely dirty. Good thing Chas liked staying clean.

During that time, Stu, Betty, and all the other second graders had had their picture taken, and they were all delighted to be free! Stu and Betty lost no time in playing in the mud!

As for Miss Finster, she announced, "Third graders! I repeat, third graders! Here, now!"

"Well, that's us, Charlotte," Howard said.

"See ya guys later," said Charlotte as she and Howard joined the other third graders in their class picture.

Stu and Betty soon joined up with Chas, Drew, and Melinda, and Stu said, "Man, look at that playground!"

Chas exclaimed, "There sure are a lot of messy kids out there!"

"Don't worry, Charles," Melinda replied. "I'm not scared."

"Yeah, and besides," added Betty, "it should be the turn of you fourth graders pretty soon!"

Drew said, "Yeah, I see first graders, second graders, third graders, and even kindergartners. Everyone except the fifth and sixth graders."

"At least we're not going last like the sixth graders," said Chas.

"But we're gonna stay clean people until it's our turn," Melinda replied.

"AMBUSH!" cried Stu as he and Betty shielded Chas, Drew, and Melinda from a group of their own classmates, whose messy mud play resulted in mud being flung everywhere.

"Get outta here, guys!" cried Betty.

"But, Betty…" said Chas.

"Go! Save yourselves!" exclaimed Stu as he flung his red blanket to Melinda. "I know what I'm doing."

And so, Chas, Drew, and Melinda ran off, Chas and Drew shielding Melinda from the jungle gym onward as the three fourth graders jumped into a hole that had been dug into the dirt.

Chas, Melinda, and Drew huddled in the hole, shielding themselves from anything messy kids had to throw at them.

"We're not gonna make it, Melinda!" cried Chas. "Didi, Stu, Betty, they're all messy! There's just too many of them! I can't take it anymore!"

"Relax, Finster!" cried Drew. "It's only 10 AM!"

But Melinda took a gentler approach. As she placed Stu's blanket on the dirt, she said softly to Chas, "We'll be okay, Charles. We're safe in here."

"Thanks, Melinda," Chas sighed as he sat on the blanket.

Presently, Drew took out a harmonica and played "Red River Valley" on it.

"Hey, neat," said Chas. "Where'd you get that?"

Drew replied, "My pop gave it to me for my ninth birthday." And he resumed playing.

Melinda sighed and said to Chas, "That music, it makes me think of home. It makes me think of my daddy. You guys have moms and dads back home too, but here you are getting all messy for me. Won't your folks be disappointed?"

Chas replied, "Sure, they'll be disappointed, but if I were Stu, and I didn't stand up for my friend when she was down, when she really needed my help, I'd be disappointed in myself. I may be a scaredy-cat, but the way I stand, the choice isn't that hard to make."

As Chas and Melinda gazed into each other's eyes, however, Chas heard his aunt Muriel announce: "Fourth graders! I repeat, fourth graders! Report to the photographer at once!"

"That's us," whispered Melinda.

And once Chas, Melinda, and Drew looked over the hole, they saw all the kids from kindergarten through third grade engaging in rowdy, messy play.

"Now, everybody's getting messy!" cried Melinda. "Are we gonna make it all the way to the photographer?"

Chas replied, "I don't know, Melinda, but we got all the way out here without getting messed up. We survived the first and second graders. Maybe luck's on our side."

Melinda smiled at Chas and said, "You're right, Charles. Let's do it!"

And so, Chas, Melinda, and Drew got out of the hole and ran for the photographer. Each kid did their best to avoid the mud being flung by all the younger kids. But before they made it to the photographer, Drew noticed a clod of mud hurtling towards Melinda, and he shielded her from the mud by taking it upon his own Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit.

"Drew," cried Melinda. "You took a bullet for me!"

"What can I say, Cavanaugh?" Drew replied. "You're not such a bad kid after all."

And soon, Melinda would prove her worth to Chas himself when she saw a wayward can of cheese dip flying in his direction. She looked at her classmates, and she looked at Chas. Soon, she would know what to do…


On Friday, Chas delivered a copy of his fourth-grade photo to Christopher Cavanaugh, saying, "So, you see, Mr. Cavanaugh, whatever you think of all the junk that happened to us on Picture Day, I just figured I should let you know: I'm proud of Melinda, and I'm honored to be her friend."

And so, Christopher opened the envelope and looked at the photo.

As Chas' father Marvin entered, he said, "Say, Chris, what are you looking at?"

Christopher smiled, showed Marvin the photo, and said, "Take a good look, Marv. That girl covered in cheese is my daughter in her first class picture at Third Street School. She kept your son clean, so if you ask me, I'd say she's never looked better."

And Christopher was right. No future bride and groom ever looked better.