Chapter 23
After the explosion had detonated in the distance, Lexa had immediately sprung to action, standing up quickly, gathering a markedly confused Marie into her arms and hurrying them back towards TonDC. As the commander she needed to investigate what had happened to their warriors as soon as possible. If the invaders were able to retaliate in this kind of fashion, they might pose a much more serious threat than any of them had anticipated.
In the back of her mind, Lexa was also worried of the actions of the Mountain Men. It was highly unlikely that their greatest enemy had not taken notice of the invaders yet. She was actually fairly certain that the Mountain Men would be observing the invaders as well. Her own scouts had after all noticed increased activity of the Mountain Men since the invaders had fallen out of the sky.
Marie was visibly scared by what had happened and the girl appeared shocked, clinging to Lexa's shirt with a tight grip and looking up at the woman with wide grey eyes.
Lexa tried to reassure the little blonde child that nothing would happen to her. She planned to leave Marie with Alira while she would lead reinforcement towards the site of the explosion. Marie would be safer in TonDC while she was gone and she could not additionally keep her eyes on the girl when they might be moving into a trap.
The way back to TonDC took Lexa and Gustus only a few minutes and just as the commander had expected, the villagers were in uproar. They had of course seen the explosion as well and they all knew that the camp of the invaders was in that direction. Many of the villagers had family among the troop Anya had lead towards the invaders.
Lexa quickly brought Marie into the commander's tent, urging her softly to let go of her shirt, before she hurried to dress into her commander regalia.
Marie watched the woman dress into the armour which seemed typical only for Lexa's position from the bed, feeling worry bubble in her mind. She knew that something was going on and Lexa had appeared taken off guard by whatever had caused the explosion as well. Marie had not seen Lexa worried before, so she knew that something was seriously wrong now and that was only increasing her own worry. She did not want Lexa to leave, but it was apparent that the woman did not wish to take her wherever she was heading to.
"I wanna come with you" she voiced in a tentative tone, just as Lexa fastened the long red sash to her shoulder guard. The whole piece made the woman appear so much bigger than she was and Marie was glad that she knew the woman to be nice or she would probably have been scared by her dress up.
Lexa hesitated, already in the process of leaving her tent. She had sent Gustus to summon Alira to her immediately. She gave the girl what she hoped to be a reassuring smile "No, little one" she answered in a firm tone, keeping only her gaze soft. She reached out with her gloved hand, letting her fingertips caress gently along the girl's cheek for a moment, before she tucked a loosened strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "You will stay here with Alira" she added and the corners of her lips tilted up in the slightest hint of a smile when Marie immediately leaned into her soft caress.
She knew without the sliver of a doubt that many events would require her to leave Marie under the supervision of someone else in the future and she knew that she would only have a harder time of leaving the girl alone if she gave in now. Marie needed to learn that she could not be with her at all times during the day and that there were things she needed to do as the commander which were not safe for the little girl to accompany her.
Marie pulled a slight face at the resoluteness with which the woman's voice rang. She did not know her well yet, but something instinctually told her that it was not the right time to try and argue with her now. So, she nodded her head, grey eyes filled with worry and sadness likewise.
Lexa squeezed the girl's shoulder once, letting their gazes connect for a moment "I will return as swiftly as possible" she promised in a tone still tinted with graveness, before she abruptly turned from the bed, took up her sword and swept from the commander's tent. Once she saw Alira approaching the tent, she gave the older handmaid a nod and left.
Marie watched Lexa leave the tent with a slight lump in her throat. It did not feel good to see her walking away from her and being left alone.
For the slightest moment, the soft walls of the tent material turned into the shiny and cold metal walls of the holding cell in the Ark in which she had been the last days before she had been put into the dropship with the others. Marie felt her heart beat quicker as the memory morphed with the reality around her and instinctually she clutched the soft furs beneath herself with her fists, feeling the texture and the softness between her fingers, which felt so unlike the rather coarse blankets she had grown up with on the Ark.
She was distracted a few moments later, when the tent flap was opened again and Alira entered the commander's tent with a friendly smile on her features.
"Hello, Marie" the handmaid greeted her in a kind tone.
Marie only waved back at the woman with a shy smile. She knew theoretically that the woman was nice, but she only really felt comfortable with Lexa or maybe with Anya as well.
Alira had already anticipated that the little girl might still be shy around her and to diffuse the tension, she had brought a little dice game with her which could keep Marie occupied until the commander returned. It would teach her the numbers to six in their language as well.
She was still relived though when the little girl was immediately interested in the game and she did not need to motivate her to participate.
Time passed rather quickly while they played the game together, but after a few rounds, Marie became noticeably bored with it and kept on glancing to the tent flaps, hoping for them to be pulled back once more and for Lexa to return.
Alira did not voice it, but she herself was starting to wonder what might be taking the commander so long.
"When's Lexa coming back?" Marie asked after a few more minutes, speaking up for the first time when her words were not directly related to the game.
Alira sighed under her breath and slightly shook her head "I do not know, Marie, but probably very soon."
Marie made what could pass as an agreeing humming sound, but continued to only look past the handmaid towards the entrance of the tent.
Lexa was out of breath when she returned to the commander's tent. Her body was tense and her mind was in turmoil. The explosion had indeed been caused by the invaders. She had briefly spoken to Anya, the general herself had thankfully not been harmed, but others had not been so lucky. The general's young second seemed to have been gravely wounded as well and she had already brought along the bodies of the warriors they had lost. Mentally, she was already planning what needed to be done next.
"You back!" an almost unexpected loud exclamation from Marie, pulled Lexa out of her turmoiled mind.
Lexa felt some of the tension which had lingered within her body drain, the very moment she bend down to catch Marie who must have jumped from the bed to greet her. The relief which was so apparent within the child's features at her return, made Lexa's heart warm.
With a slight flash of remorse, Lexa remembered the last time that someone had awaited her return so passionately. It had been a few days before Costia had been captured and since then, Lexa had not been close to anyone on a personal level. She knew that Marie had no care for her position within their society and the almost instinctual pure love the girl held for her was an entirely new experience on its own for Lexa.
"Yes, I am back, little one" she retorted in an amused tone. Somehow, beside her red sash being in the way and the sword around her hip, Marie had still managed to wrap her legs around the commander's waist and seemed entirely content in her perched-up position.
"Have you been good?" she asked only half serious, still throwing a curt glance towards Alira.
Marie giggled slightly at the question, showing the gap between her teeth, as she nodded her head in vehement agreement.
"I will bring dinner minutely" Alira offered, leaving the tent after a mute nod of agreement from the commander.
"What have you been up to while I was gone?" Lexa questioned Marie once they were alone again in the tent. She carried the girl back over to the bed, aware that the child was old enough to walk the distance herself, but still indulging her.
"We've played" Marie answered with a shine to her grey eyes. Alira had left the dice they had been using on the bed and Marie enthusiastically showed them to Lexa. The girl continued to proof that she now successfully was able to count to six in Trigedasleng.
Beside the grave situation outside of the commander's tent, Lexa focused her mind entirely on Marie, listening to the child's reconciliation of her afternoon with Alira. She corrected Marie in a gentle tone when the girl mixed up the order of the numbers and she complimented her on her pronunciation which was almost flawless at this point.
She even tested Marie's ability to recount the numbers by giving the little game a few attempts and encouraged her each time she knew the number the dice showed.
Once Alira brought dinner to the commander's tent, Lexa felt her mind return to her duties though. She knew that they would need to burn the pyres for their fallen warriors tonight.
Marie tilted her head to the side slightly, noticing the obvious change within the woman. Lexa seemed to sit much straighter now and although she was still sitting physically close to her, she felt the distance between them. She did not know how to ask after what was wrong now though, so instead she just inched a little closer to Lexa, until she was sitting in touching distance.
Marie was a little surprised when the commander pulled her back into her lap mutely, but she sensed that she was not required to say anything to cheer the woman up. Instead, she just gave her an honest smile, before she leaned back against Lexa's upper body, feeling her reassuring warmth engulf her senses.
The meal passed in silence between them, as Lexa's mind was occupied with planning. It was obvious now that the invaders definitely were a powerful threat and the mistake of underestimating their resourcefulness had cost the lives of a few of their warriors. It was also apparent that the invaders were more similar to the Mountain Men than to their people, which just added to Lexa's queasy feeling about them.
Only the fact that Lexa was trained to ignore the feeling in her body, let her eat. She knew that she needed to remain strong and a strong body required to be taken care of. She could not expect to keep her strength if she neglected herself.
Once their plates were empty, Lexa hoisted Marie from her lap, placing the girl on her own feet in front of her, so that she could look at her. "A few of our warriors have been killed by the explosion and the pyres to release their spirits will need to be lit soon" she explained in a calm tone what was about to happen to the blonde child staring up at her with alert grey eyes.
Marie nodded mutely in acknowledgement. She knew now what it meant to die and she had learnt about the believes of the grounders to burn the body of a dead person so that their spirit could be freed to be reborn.
Lexa regarded it as important that Marie was present and seen during the burning ceremony. She knew that hatred could easily be projected onto the little girl as well now and they needed to differentiate Marie from the rest of the invaders. The child was with them now and she wanted her treated as one of them. The children of the villagers would be present during the burning ceremony as well, as not attending was regarded as dishonourable.
Marie willingly followed the commander out of the tent a few moments later, holding onto one hand of the leader and dressed into a coat as well. The piece of clothing was too long for Marie's built and the girl needed to be careful not to step onto the brim of the coat.
Lexa directly lead them towards the pyre. She sighed under her breath, she had been to an endless number of burning ceremonies and she knew that numerous more would follow until she herself would be lying on one of them.
Marie spotted Anya standing beside the pyre already and her features enlightened noticeably once she waved a greeting towards the woman. Her expression fell though, when she noticed how grim Anya looked.
Anya was barely able to lift one of the corners of her mouth in acknowledgement of the little girl. Tris was among the bodies on the pyre now. The girl from the invaders had not been able to safe her second and Lincoln had helped the two invaders they had captured escape. Mourning and rage bubbled through her mind likewise and her blood was screaming to get revenge on the invaders. She did notice though that the girl must have lost some of her front teeth today and she snorted slightly under her breath when the girl's smile revealed the gap between her teeth fully.
Marie could not understand what Lexa was saying now, but the woman was speaking so loudly that she must be addressing the whole crowd around them. She looked around with slightly wide eyes, the warriors who had been at the site of the explosion were all still wearing their armour and they frankly looked frightening. She was internally grateful that Lexa allowed her to continue to hold her hand. She knew that no one would move to hurt her as long as Lexa was there to protect her. The people obviously listened and obeyed Lexa. She had not understood fully just what role Lexa had, but it was more than obvious that the young woman was extremely powerful.
She only had to let go when Lexa was handed a burning torch and stepped closer to the pyre to light it up. Instinctually, Marie inched slightly closer to Anya, not feeling safe being left alone like that, although Lexa was still in sight.
Anya frowned down at the little girl for a moment, brown eyes confused as to why the child had moved so close to her; she was almost touching her leg by now and once their gazes met, Marie seemed to plead with her mutely. She sighed under her breath in exasperation, before she offered a hand to Marie. She had seen the girl holding onto Lexa before and she had frankly been confused why Lexa allowed Marie to be so close to her out in the public. It was one thing to be soft with the child in private, but showing openly how close they were, could be dangerous to her former second.
The smile Marie gave her in gratitude was so full of relieve, that Anya forgot her previous exasperation. Instead, she squeezed her small chubby hand once in mute reassurance.
Once Lexa stepped back to them, Marie immediately stretched out her other hand towards the commander, still holding onto Anya's hand.
Lexa took hold of Marie's hand with a slight smile, before she turned back towards the pyre, watching the flames slowly consume the bodies of their fallen warriors. She had not expected Anya to indulge the little girl like this, but she knew that she would need support in taking care of Marie if she wanted her to stay. Now that Anya had lost her second, nothing was keeping her away from the capitol anymore and Lexa toyed with the idea of asking her former mentor to return to her trusted circle from which she had personally banned her after Costia's death.
Lexa was not surprised that Marie seemed to be almost sleeping on her feet once the pyre had burned down far enough that the more festive part of the burning ceremony was about to start. She decided that it would be alright for Marie to leave the ceremony now.
She quickly brought Marie back into the commander's tent, helping the girl undress and redress into a sleeping shirt, before she put her into her own bed. Marie seemed to be asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and Lexa returned to the ceremony, keeping her tent under guard just to be save.
The ceremony continued late into the night and Lexa herself was physically and mentally exhausted once she finally returned to the commander's tent as well.
She was in the process of undressing from the commander regalia when a weird shine caught her attention from the corner of her eyes. Lexa frowned and shook her head, wondering if the exhaustion was already playing tricks on her mind. It had seemed for a moment that Marie had been the source of the light, but once Lexa looked back to the bed, everything appeared normal once again and the girl was still sleeping peacefully.
Lexa sighed, chalking it up to her imagination playing tricks on her and she quickly blew out the remaining burning candles, knowing all too well just how soon the sun would rise and she would need to stand up again as well.
