In the 1957 Warner Brothers cartoon What's Opera, Doc?, character Elmer Fudd tries to sing "Kill the rabbit" over and over. But poor Elmer speaks with a harelip.
At the very beginning of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, in July 1996, Death Eaters kidnap Florean Fortescue, the owner of the "Ice Cream Parlour" of the same name; and they kidnap Garrick Ollivander, the wandmaker. The two wizards then are held prisoner in Malfoy Manor. In canon, Fortescue is killed sometime during the summer of 1996 (according to an interview with JKR), but Ollivander is rescued in March 1998.
Chapter 22
Kill da Wabbit
6:14 p.m., eighteen hours before the Duel
Still on Potter Manor's Quidditch pitch
Harry said to his four broom-flyers (and to listening Hermione), "Before we begin, two things. First of all, do you four know how to Rise and Drop on a broomstick? It's not a move you would ever make in a Quidditch match. You don't move forwards or backwards, or left or right, you just move straight up or straight down whilst the broomstick stays level with the ground."
The twins smirked at Harry, whilst "Mad-Eye" gave Harry a look of Don't try to teach your grandmother how to suck eggs. But Fleur said, "I do not know what you mean. Other than ze Quidditch, all my flying is in my Firebird form."
Harry said, "Imagine you're floating on your broom, not moving in any direction. Overhead is a construction crane. A cable comes down from the crane, and I wrap the cable around your broomstick. When the crane operator takes in cable, you rise straight up. When the crane operator lets out cable, you sink straight down. But other than moving up at a steady speed or down at a steady speed, your broom doesn't move."
"You can do zis on ze broom?"
"Yes. Try it now."
Once the idea was explained to Fleur, she picked it up on the first try.
Harry said, "My second topic, which is an order: From now till we've returned to the pitch and I've taken off this headset, don't use any names. I'm not 'Harry," I'm 'Leader.' Hermione is 'Base.' And you lot are"—Harry pointed at Alastor, then Fleur, then Fred, then George—" 'One,' 'Two,' 'Three' and 'Four.' Understand?"
George said, "I understand you perfectly, but Three is the thick sort."
Fred replied, "At least I'm not ugly, Four."
Grinning Harry said, "Stop, you two. Time for talk is over; let's get going. Let me cast this Parseltongue group-disillusionment spell, then you follow me as I rise up. Hermione, I'll turn the headset-radio back on when we've reached cruising altitude."
Hermione nodded. "Harry? Come home."
Harry did not reply; instead, he and his broom silently rose higher off the ground.
Minutes later
1,007 feet above Potter Manor's Quidditch pitch
George asked, "Just how up are we? I'm sure we're much more than five hundred feet up."
Harry grinned, even as he was shaking his head. "I'm not telling you. This is one secret I'll take to my grave."
Fleur asked, "Is zis why you have hissed at your wand, and your wand has hissed back? To keep ze secret?"
"Exactly."
"Good planning, Leader," said Mad-Eye. "What we others don't know, we can't tell."
Harry reached up and tapped his headset twice with a finger; immediately he heard a bell ring to let him know that the radio was turned on. "Base, this is Leader. Give us a course to our target."
In Harry's left ear, he heard Hermione's voice: "I couldn't find out wind speed and direction here, so it'll take me a while to figure out how to correct for drift. Figure that I'll be leading you lot on a merry chase at first. But let's start with a heading of Delta Delta Juliet."
"Heading of Delta Delta Juliet," Harry replied. "Leader acknowledges." This translated to a bearing of 117, which was roughly east-southeast.
An hour and a half later
In Harry's left ear, Hermione was singing. "La-la-la LA la, la-la-la LA la, la-la-la LA la, la-la-la LAA."
Harry asked, "What are you singing?"
Hermione replied, " 'Ritt der Walküren,' Ride of the Valkyries, by Richard Wagner." Then keeping the melody but changing the lyrics, Hermione began to sing, "Kill da WABbit, kill da WABbit, kill da WABbit, kill da WAB-BIT—"
Hermione interrupted her singing to tell Harry, "You're three miles from target, Leader."
Harry replied, "Three miles from target, acknowledged. Going silent in five seconds, Base. I'll have a status update for you soon." Unless I die in the aerial battle, Harry did not add.
Hermione's voice almost was calm. "Live long and prosper, Leader. Base out." Harry tapped his headset twice to turn broadcasting off.
He called out to the broom-flyers, "We're three miles out. Slow down to match me." He magically braked his broom and kept braking, till his ground speed would have been legal in any school zone in any Muggle Britain city. By the time Harry was again surrounded by his broom-flyers, he was almost on top of Malfoy Manor. Up here, Harry could see the manor house clearly (because he remained unaffected by the manor house's Fidelius charm), but none of the other four people could see the manor house.
"I see it," Harry said to the broom-flyers. "We're almost at Malfoy Manor, almost there, we're—"
Around Harry, all four broom-flyers gasped. George said, "Merlin, it just appeared."
Harry grinned. "And this, lady and gentlemen, is how to outsmart a Fidelius charm! And oh, by the way? We five are now inside whatever wards Lucius Malfoy has up."
Four broom-flyers now grinned at Harry; those grins were bloodthirsty.
"Stop motion. Shift to attack position," Harry ordered. Everyone, including Harry, did so.
Harry said, "Now, you four are going to cast Bombarda Maxima—it's Bombarda times ten—at the four corners of the house. The wand-motion for Bombarda Maxima is a forward thrust. One, you get the near-left corner of the manor house; Two, you get the near-right corner; Three, you take the far-left corner; Four, you get the far-right corner. When you each cast your Bombarda Maxima spell, put your heart into it—make your intent be that your corner of the house gets turned into gravel and matchsticks. You four will fire together when I count down to zero. Any questions?"
Moody asked, "What will you be doing, Leader, whilst we four are blowing up the corners?"
"I'll be using the Bombarda Maxima spell on the middle of the roof, and I'll be firing a second before the rest of you do. So hopefully tonight, I can fulfill the prediction."
"Weightless Dobby, come here!" Harry called. Pop. Dobby appeared astride Harry's broomstick.
Harry said to Dobby, "Plan Two first, then Plan One. Go." With a pop, Dobby disappeared. "Counting down: Three—"
None of the evil wizards in the Malfoy Manor dining room noticed, nor did any of the werewolves in human form notice, but every Malfoy house-elf elf-popped out of the manor house, onto the lawn or gardens that surrounded the manor house. Dobby alerting the house-elves when the manor house was about to be destroyed, was Plan Two.
Plan Two assumed that the abused house-elves of Malfoy Manor would give no warning to their human masters; that the Malfoy Manor house-elves would be obedient but not loyal.
The house-elves, on their own initiative, did something that Harry had not known about and had not planned for: The house-elves rescued Florean Fortescue and Garrick Ollivander, who had been held prisoner in the manor house's dungeon. Once rescued, the two injured wizards were laid out flat on the lawn.
"Two," Harry said.
Dobby elf-popped into the Malfoy Manor dining room, by the chair of Narcissa Black Malfoy. Dobby laid his hand on Lady Malfoy's robes-covered leg, then Dobby elf-popped himself and Narcissa to Grimmauld Place, where Kreacher was waiting. This was Plan One: to rescue Narcissa.
Severus Snape just happened to be looking in the right direction to see a house-elf pop by Narcissa Malfoy, to recognise the elf as the former Malfoy elf who was now Harry Potter's elf, then to see both house-elf and Narcissa disappear with a pop.
Why did Harry Potter's elf take Narcissa? Snape wondered.
In answer, a picture appeared in Snape's head, of Harry Potter bursting through the doors into the dining room, with a wand in each hand, shooting Avadas at Voldemort and at anyone else he could hit.
Had Snape stopped to think about it, he would have realised that his idea was impossible. But Snape did not stop to think; instead, he acted. Snape dived under the heavy granite table. This turned out to be the right thing to do, though Snape did it for the wrong reason.
Contrary to Harry's expectations, one Malfoy Manor house-elf was loyal—or at least, was loyal enough. Malfoy head elf Chunky elf-popped from the lawn into the dining room, grabbed Lucius Malfoy's hand, and elf-popped the wizard out onto the lawn.
Harry said. "One. Bombarda Maxima!"
If things had gone according to plan, Narcissa Malfoy was out of Malfoy Manor, and the house-elves also were out of Malfoy Manor. Harry had no reason to hold back now, so he intended that this entire building, and everyone in it, be gone.
Less than a second apart, Voldemort saw a house-elf disappear with Narcissa Malfoy, and a different house-elf disappear with Lucius Malfoy.
Treachery! Voldemort thought.
Snape had just dived under the table when—BLAM!—Voldemort heard a painfully loud explosion upstairs. Voldemort immediately dived under the table as well. He gave no thought at all of trying to save the lives of his Death Eater minions.
Only when it was too late did Voldemort remember that he had left Nagini slithering on top of the granite table. By the time Voldemort thought about imperiled Nagini, most of the manor house was raining down about him.
"Zero," Harry said.
Three male voices and one female voice screamed, "BOMBARDA MAXIMA!"
Four beams of aqua-coloured light zoomed down towards the four corners of Lucius Malfoy's most prized possession.
There everyone had been, plotting the Dark Lord's conquest of Hogwarts, then the Ministry of Magic, then Wizarding Britain—when suddenly, everything had turned to shit.
One second, Lucius Malfoy was sitting in the packed-solid dining room, next to his silent wife Narcissa. At that moment, Lucius and a horde of other Death Eaters, and also werewolves in human form, were helping Voldemort to plan the conquest of the Ministry of Magic. (After Potter and Dumbledore were both dead, of course.)
The next second, Narcissa was elf-popped away, without Lucius expecting this or ordering this.
Right afterwards, Lucius felt Crunchy's tiny hand grasp his, then suddenly Lucius was outside in evening daylight, on his own front lawn.
Lucius was pulling his foot back, to angrily kick Crunchy all the way to Spain, when the roof of his manor house imploded—BOOM! A second later, his manor house was hit by a bigger and louder explosion that sounded like the end of the world had come.
Along with what Lucius heard, Lucius saw his house's complete destruction within seconds, as if a titan's flat hand slammed down on the top of Lucius's manor house. As the top of the house came down, the sides of the manor house came out. Debris shot out sideways in every direction, moving faster than a piercing-hex.
Suddenly Chunky elf-popped Lucius far away from the exploding ruin of his house—and in doing so, saved Lucius's life for the second time in under five seconds.
About a thousand feet above ruined Malfoy Manor
Harry summoned Dobby again; Dobby again appeared astride Harry's broom. Harry asked his house-elf to remove the dust-clouds so that Harry could see the damage to Malfoy Manor.
Dobby made a wind blow, which revealed the ruined manor house. Harry, looking about, saw that all four broom-riders were smiling now, but Dobby had the biggest smile of all. "Bad former master Lord Blondy gets payback from the Great Harry Potter!" Dobby exclaimed.
Harry asked, "Any problems, Dobby? Or is there anything else I should know about?"
Dobby's ears drooped. "A problem, yes, Great Harry Potter Sir. Lord Blondy was keeping two wizards in prison in dungeon, to ask them questions and hurt them. Malfoy house-elves rescued the wizards, else the two wizards would have died when you made house fall down."
"Where are the two wizards at now? And you say Malfoy has imprisoned and tortured them?"
"They're on the lawn, safe for now. But house-elf Chunky saved Lord Blondy—"
"Damn," said Harry.
"—and Lord Blondy might hurt the wizards if he sees them on his lawn."
Harry asked, "What about Narcissa? Is she safe at Grimmauld Place?" Dobby nodded. "Dobby, I want you to elf-pop the two wizards to Saint Mungo's, and stay with them till the Healers admit them to hospital. Go, before Lucius tries any shit with them." Pop—Dobby was gone.
Now Harry looked around at his four broom-riders and said, "I badly want to blast the manor house again, but I'm feeling a bit woozy. I figure you lot feel woozy too. Hit the house again, or not? Give me your thoughts."
Lucius still was staring towards his once-grand house, which mostly was hidden within a huge dust cloud.
Suddenly a wind came and blew the dust-cloud away, and Lucius clearly could see what was left of his centuries-old house: almost nothing.
Lucius heard screaming that came from the dining room. Lucius did nothing to help the injured Death Eaters; his attitude was They're all Purebloods. If they can't rescue themselves, they deserve to die. Lucius likewise did not concern himself with the werewolves in human form—If the Dark Lord wants the mongrels healthy, let him heal them.
Idly, Lucius wondered if Voldemort had survived. Lucius realised he did not care whether the Dark Lord was alive or dead.
Belatedly, Lucius realised that all the wards were intact, and had signaled no attempted intrusions. How could we be attacked without the wards falling? he wondered. He could not begin to guess.
Minutes later, in the ruins of Malfoy Manor
Lucius had been surprised at how long he had had to wait after he had Summoned his broom. When the broom finally came to his hand, many of the broom's twigs were broken, and a foot and a half of the broomstick shaft had been broken off.
Once Lucius mounted his broom, he silently glided over the debris that lay inside his house on the ground floor. But Lucius kept far away from the ruins of the dining room—if the Dark Lord were alive now, he would be burning with rage; and a healthy, unharmed Lucius would become the main target of the Dark Lord's fury.
Lucius on his broom glided over a white bed-canopy, with white paisleys embroidered into it, that lay strewn across the floor. Five minutes ago, the bed that the canopy had been part of, had been on the manor house's top floor.
Elsewhere on the floor, Lucius spotted a torn roof tile.
Snapped structural timbers lay about the floor. A delicate end-table that Narcissa had bought in Paris was now smashed to pieces under one such timber.
Many of the walls and ceilings were gone; looking about, Lucius could see many patches of blue sky. Yet the bad news was not completely bad—in a corner of the firewhisky room, which was also a corner of the manor house, two brick walls still stood, though only to waist height—
Suddenly an aqua Bombarda Maxima spell slammed Lucius to the floor, with such force that Lucius hitting the floor broke his legs. However, at the same moment, this spell made the brick wall that was in the corner of the room explode into fragments. Those fast-moving chunks of brick rendered Lucius Malfoy forever uncaring about his broken legs.
Meanwhile in Number 12, Grimmauld Place
Narcissa gasped as she felt her husband die.
Meanwhile, one-thousand-plus feet above Malfoy Manor
"Whoa," said Fred Weasley, as he swayed back and forth. "I don't think I'll stay on my broom if we blast them a third time."
"Okay," said Harry, "I'll stop with two blasts. Great job, people, let's head home. Everyone, move to flight position."
Harry tapped his headset twice with a finger; he heard a bell ring in his left ear. He said, "Base, this is Leader. Come in, Base."
With no pause at all, Harry heard Hermione say, "Leader, this is Base." Hermione sounded happy. Her voice then said, "Request mission-status report."
Harry said, "Mission status is...," then he began singing, "Celebrate good times, come on! It's a celebration."
Meanwhile in Malfoy Manor
After the noise of the second magical blast had faded away, all the groaners and screamers of a minute ago now were silent. Malfoy Manor now was as silent as the Little Hangleton graveyard. Voldemort was not accustomed to feeling spooked.
When Voldemort (and Snape) managed to climb out from under the cracked, collapsed granite table, in the ruined dining room, the Dark Lord discovered that Nagini was dead. The big snake was buried under debris. Voldemort also discovered that the horcrux in Nagini was destroyed.
Voldemort was surprised to discover this. He had expected that if one of his horcruxes were destroyed, he would have felt the loss.
Still, he was much more annoyed by the loss of his familiar than by the loss of his familiar's horcrux. The loss of Nagini's horcrux is not a big problem, Voldemort thought. I have four more horcruxes still in play.
However, the much bigger problem for Voldemort at the moment was that, so far as he could figure, Snape and Lucius were Voldemort's only two minions still alive—and who could guess when Lucius would return from wherever he had gone?
The Healers at Saint Mungo's contacted the DMLE and told them that Harry Potter had attacked Malfoy Manor, and that there were dead and dying people at Malfoy Manor who needed rescue and recovery.
Aurors and Healers Apparated to just outside the wards of Malfoy Manor, intending to perform a Search and Rescue.
But the rescuers could not see the supposedly-destroyed manor house, nor could they enter the manor house to perform rescues. The Fidelius charm still was in effect, and all the wards were up!
The rescuers were puzzled and confused about how Harry Potter had destroyed the manor house whilst leaving the wards unharmed. In their puzzlement and frustration, the S&R people became talkative—other Aurors, Healers and, later on, friends and family, all heard about what Harry Potter had done to the Death Eaters at Malfoy Manor.
Harry Potter gained as much mystique on 29th July 1996 as he did on 31st October 1981. The legendary "Boy Who Lived" became a legend again, because of him perpetrating the magical-world version of a "locked-room mystery."
9:23 p.m., about fifteen hours till the Duel
Potter Manor
Daphne and Neville had not been at Potter Manor when Harry and the broom-flyers had left, but those two friends of Harry's, along with Hermione, were waiting when Harry and the broom-flyers returned. Everyone felt true relief at the five flyers' safe return, because the sun had set twenty minutes earlier.
Harry allowed himself five minutes to celebrate, then sent the four broom-flyers home, along with reminders of their Unbreakable Vows to keep their mouths shut.
Then Harry turned to Daphne. "May I borrow you now, to come with me when I talk with Narcissa Malfoy?" At everyone's confused look, Harry explained, "Just before the attack, I elf-popped Narcissa to the Black-family townhouse."
Hermione said, "Erm, she's Draco's mother and Lucius's wife. Why did you save her?"
"Because in the other 1998, she lied to Voldemort and saved the other Harry's life, out of love for her son."
The others in the room nodded, understanding that Harry would feel the need to repay a life-debt that he himself did not owe.
Harry called for Kreacher, and Kreacher elf-popped Harry and Daphne into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, since the kitchen was where Narcissa was.
Harry introduced Daphne to Narcissa; Narcissa immediately noticed the Black betrothal ring that Daphne wore.
Narcissa asked Daphne, "Are you here as the future Lady Black, to whom I must defer someday?"
Harry said, "Daphne also is here because she's my Pureblood Advisor. I ruined my relationship with your son, Narcissa, before it had barely started, because I unknowingly committed an etiquette breach. I don't want to repeat such a mistake again and make an enemy of you."
Daphne asked, "What was the etiquette breach?"
Harry answered, "During the firstie trainride, Draco put his hand out to shake. I was offended because of things he'd said about Ron Weasley, so I didn't shake Draco's hand."
Narcissa nodded. "In his first letter home from Hogwarts, Draco spent a foot of parchment ranting about that moment. He wrote, 'If Scarhead and I were older, I would have challenged him to an honour duel!' "
Harry bowed his head to Narcissa and said, "I never apologised to Draco for that, even after I learnt of my blunder, but belatedly I apologise to you, Draco's mother."
Narcissa turned toward Harry, and her posture stiffened. "Apology accepted," she said formally.
Silence.
Narcissa's posture and voice stayed formal: "Lord Black-Potter, why am I here? I felt Lucius die"—Harry's eyebrows shot up—"and our house-elf Chunky tells me that Malfoy Manor is destroyed. Why did you save me?"
Harry spoke just as formally: "Widow Malfoy, am I correct that you have never taken the Dark Mark?"
Narcissa pulled up her left sleeve, then her right sleeve, to the elbow. "This is correct, Lord Black-Potter, as you can see."
"Why not?" Daphne asked. "Your husband took the Mark, and Draco too, so why not you?"
Narcissa answered stiffly, "I try to avoid Muggles; and Muggle-borns always are louts, but I have no wish to murder any of them in order to 'earn' my Mark."
Harry felt relief. "Good enough. I forbid you to spot Blood Purity nonsense in my hearing, or in the hearing of Hermione Granger, the future Lady Potter. Blood Purity talk always sets my teeth on edge." Narcissa nodded stiffly. Harry continued, "It is my keen hope that you two, Narcissa and Daphne, shall train both Hermione and me in proper wizarding-world behaviour so that we do not come across as louts."
Narcissa looked like she had just been slapped. Daphne said to her, "Whatever Draco has written to you about Hermione, she is actually much nicer in person. And Harry? Definitely nicer in person." Narcissa looked dubious.
Harry drew his wand, then said, "Narcissa, you have questions, and it's time I answered them. First, why are you here? Because I wanted to kill everyone who was in Malfoy Manor tonight, especially Voldemort but also Lucius, but I have no quarrel with you."
Before Narcissa answered, Harry pointed his wand at the ceiling. "I, Harry James Potter, do claim the House of Malfoy by Right of Conquest. I claim all Malfoy coinage, property and debts as my own. As the new Lord Malfoy, I swear by my magic I shall honour the 'widowhood' terms of Narcissa Black Malfoy's marriage contract. So mote it be."
Light flashed. Both Daphne and Narcissa were staring at Harry.
Harry spoke formally again, with his wand still pointed straight up: "I, Harry James Potter, who is Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest, do declare the House of Malfoy to be extinct. I do not name anyone as Heir or Heiress Malfoy, and nobody may claim Lordship of the House of Malfoy after I die. So mote it be."
Light flashed again.
Daphne breathed, "Merlin, Harry. First you kill off the Malfoy men, then you kill the Malfoy House too."
"Exactly," Harry replied.
Harry's wand still was pointed straight up. "For a reason I choose not to state, whatever life-debt that Narcissa Black Malfoy owes to me, Harry James Potter, is forgiven. The only obedience she owes me is as a Black daughter to the head of House Black. So mote it be."
Light flashed again.
Narcissa looked gobsmacked. "You hate what I believe but you save my life anyway, then you don't even require me to repay a life-debt? Why?"
Daphne smiled at the older woman. "Because Harry is generous this way. With each passing day, I become more and more glad that one day I shall marry him. Hermione has another explanation: that Harry has a 'saving-people thing.' "
Harry called for Chunky, introduced himself, then sent Chunky to fetch the Lucius Malfoy-Narcissa Malfoy marriage contract from the Malfoy family vault at Gringotts. Once Harry had the contract in front of him, he, Narcissa and Daphne discussed Narcissa's living arrangements. It was jointly decided that Narcissa would live at the Black-family townhouse at Grimmauld Place till soon before Harry and Daphne would wed; then the question would be revisited.
The time was close to 10 p.m., and Harry presumed that he and Daphne now would leave for Potter Manor. Instead, Narcissa said hesitantly, "Harry? I wish to point out something, because I've come to know the Dark Lord quite well over the years."
Harry and Daphne shared a worried look. "Go on," Harry said to Narcissa.
"You used the Right of Conquest rule to seize House Malfoy. If Voldemort defeats you in tomorrow's duel, he can use the rule too. If he defeats you, he could have the wealth of House Potter, House Black and House Malfoy at his fingertips."
Harry looked at Daphne and sighed. "Great. As if the wanker doesn't have enough reason to kill me."
Tuesday, 30th July, about 11 a.m.
One hour till the Duel
Gringotts Bank
Harry asked to meet with Director Ragnok; the request was granted.
Harry said to Ragnok, "You keep lifestones for all your vault-holders, so whenever a head of House dies, you know immediately. What heads of House have died since 6 p.m. yesterday?"
Ragnok asked Harry why he wanted to know. Harry answered the question, explaining in depth.
Ragnok's answering smile showed teeth; it was the smile of an eager warrior, not a placid banker. Ragnok magically compiled a list of the heads of House who had died after Harry's attack on Malfoy Manor, then Ragnok slid the parchment across the desk to Harry.
Meanwhile at Snape's house in Spinner's End
The giants had sent Voldemort a message this morning: After his defeat last night by Harry Potter, Voldemort would not be joined by the giants today in fighting Harry Potter. Voldemort was on his own.
The werewolf packs had sent Voldemort a message this morning: After his defeat last night by Harry Potter, Voldemort would not be joined by the werewolf packs today in fighting Harry Potter. Again Voldemort was on his own.
The vampires reminded Voldemort that they couldn't fight during daytime, so sorry.
Voldemort should have been scowling because of these three messages, he should have been snarling, he should have been causing someone pain. But instead, if Voldemort were the sort of bloke to smile, he would be smiling now.
Why? Because the Dark Lord had a plan.
So Harry Potter had pulled a sneak attack on him last night? Well, sneak-attacking was a game that two could play! In one hour, Harry Potter would be surprised, then he would be scared, then he would die.
