Graduation

"Dedicate your hearts!"

Standing alongside the two hundred and seventeen other trainees who had survived three grueling years of training together, Fritz waited as Chief Instructor Shadis rattled off the names of those ten trainees who had gotten the best scores of the Corps.

In front of him and the other trainees, illuminated by fire pits on either side, the ten of them stood. Watching Anne in particular, she had made it fourth place, he was glad that she had made it, but… as for the others…

Sasha… Connie… and Krista?!

All throughout these three years he had been regarded as an idiot, often lumped together with them as part of a trio. While it wasn't necessarily true, it wasn't false either. After all, out of the Brandt children, even Sofie, he was the slowest one with Lex having been the fastest, and, while his martial arts skills weren't on par with Annie—considered amongst the best within the 104th—or his coordination with the Vertical Maneuvering Gear wasn't within the range of Jean nor Mikasa, he should have at least had placed higher than Krista's!

He glanced around, looking for Ymir. She must have done something, otherwise what other reason did Krista have in being up there? Though, her expression and posture revealed nothing. He sighed, somewhat disappointed. But, then, at the end of the day, it really didn't—a loud clearing of the Chief Instructor's throat snapped his attention back to the ceremony.

"Today, you trainees, now graduates, will be given three choices: one of the three branches of the military. You can join the Garrison, protecting the towns and reinforcing the Walls. There is also the Scouting Legion, who risk their lives beyond the Walls, in Titan territory. Or, finally, the Military Police, who serve the King, lead the people, and maintain internal order. Of course, only the top ten students, whose names were just announced, may join the Military Police."


Later, after the ceremony was over, all the graduates were gathered in a celebration hall specifically given to them for exactly one night for drinks and to chat. After all, they had earned it.

A huge grin playing across his face as he walked into the room, Fritz greeted the people he knew and got a drink. He was proud to be among them, regardless of where he had placed, and, taking a sip, he scanned the tables in search of Annie.

Finally spotting her sitting alone at one of them in the corner, he made eye contact.

Over the span of their last year, after recovering from his leg injury, they'd been meeting each other and practicing their skills and rarely anything else. Annie must have been felt guilty over the whole thing, because even though she had still revealed so little about her past, the one thing she did bring to light was her father and his harsh training methods—what she kepted honed in her free-time when she hadn't been avoiding doing real work—and how one day she had snapped on her father in similar fashion, rendering him unable to walk with the assistance of a cane from then on. Compared to that, he considered himself lucky. And, he did also confirm that she was from a village within Wall Maria that had gotten overrun by the Titans.

In turn, he had told her where he was from, things about his own father—his entire family, really—and the promise he'd made to join the Scouting Legion and find Ines. While he hadn't been sure she'd been listening to all he said as she mainly kept her real thoughts to herself, he knew that she viewed him as something more than nuisance anymore.

He was glad to call her a friend, and he wondered if she, too, felt the same.

It wasn't much, but, it was a start. Though, with a slight limp in his step as he decided to head over to her table, he hoped he wouldn't have to suffer as badly for it the next time around.

Taking another sip of his drink as he went, it was a very mild cider. Not strong enough to make any of them tipsy in the slightest. Though, that didn't stop some like Sasha and Connie who kept drinking the stuff like there was no tomorrow, from trying.

Earlier in the year, he had heard from his mother that Ines had visited the house and that she was her usual self. She would have to be at least twenty-six by now. He hadn't heard anything about her commenting on his enlistment into the military, but guessed that she must have expected it after Lex. As he thought of how much or how little she might have changed since he'd last seen her, the growing crowd around Eren caused him to stop and look over.

"... wasn't training to live in the Interior. I was training to fight Titans!"

Thomas leaned forward. Fear was stretched across his features. "You'll never beat them!" he exclaimed, drawing more people's attention. "You do know how many tens of thousands have been eaten already? We lost over twenty percent of our population, so we know for sure! Humans cannot defeat Titans!"

The room grew silent.

Everyone was watching now.

"So?" Eren retorted, voice rising. "If you think we can't win, then you'll just give up?!"

"We—"

"It's true that humanity has only suffered defeat until now, but we didn't know anything about the Titans then! Fighting them head on is pointless. We did lose, but, the information we gained, gives us hope for the next time! Will we abandon the tactics that cost those tens of thousands of lives to develop and just let the Titans eat us without a fight? Hell no! I'm going to exterminate all the Titans and escape these cramped Walls! That is my dream! Humanity isn't finished yet!"

After giving his speech, Eren ran out of the room, emotional, as Mikasa and Armin chased after him.

Not sure if what he'd said was the right thing or not, none the less, Fritz felt Eren's words down to this core and was glad he did. It would certainly get more people to join the Scouting Legion, and, by the looks on some of the faces in the room, he saw a few who were now considering that very thing.

He took another sip.

Going back to Annie, he wondered what part of the military she was going to join. If he had to guess: the Scouting Legion, like himself. She had the talent and personality. She was ferocious and headstrong—stubborn as hell—and he knew she'd fit into the ranks just fine. Plus, he wouldn't mind・ seeing her more often・

As he got to the table's edge, she looked up from her own drink and didn't say anything.

"Hey there, Annie," he said, plopping down on the opposite side of the table. He set his drink down harder than he meant to, the contents sloshing around violently. Ah, he was super nervous after all...

The memory of their lips touching back then sprang to his mind, then. Sweat rolling down his forehead, he wiped it away and looked at her, trying to appear aloof. Confident.

"I-I saw you made it into the top ten!"—his voice cracked—"A-A-Are you going to join the Scouting Legion, o-or—!"

"The Military Police," she stated bluntly, cutting him off. "I'm joining the Military Police, not the Scouting Legion or the Garrison. That was my aim."

"H.. huh? What do you mean?!" He had heard from the others that she might be, but he hadn't wanted to believe it. Still didn't. "Why? I'm joining the Scouting Legion. Don't you want to join me, instead?"

"No. Unlike you or Eren, I'm not in a hurry to go and die. Deep down, I'm not as strong as the two of you are." Looking away, she continued, her voice getting smaller. "I'm just… a weak little girl who can't tough it out like guys such as yourself."

He raised an eyebrow. This wasn't… like her. At all. "Annie—"

"No."

"But—"

"I just,"—she was glaring directly at him now—"can't do it. I'm not as reckless. My decision is final. I'm not joining the Scouting Legion."

"But, Annie—!"

"No!" She raised her voice, slamming a fist down. "How many times do I have to say it before it gets through that thick skull of yours?!"

Fritz averted his eyes. Other people were starting to stare. "I…"

"You what…?"

His gaze went to his hands underneath the table. "I just… didn't think you'd be so strongly against it…" He couldn't believe it...

Across the table, Annie eased back down. Letting out another sigh, she looked up at the ceiling and stayed like that. "I'm just not… strong enough…" she whispered after a moment. "I can't do it. Why won't you understand that?"

He was still looking down, too ashamed to even glance in her direction anymore. "I'm sorry… I didn't… I didn't…" His voice trailed off. The atmosphere between them became quiet. Everyone who had been staring caught it too and went back to their own things.

They didn't want to get involved.

Fritz felt worse than he'd ever since training began, akin to when he'd made his mother cry. It was that same, gut-wrenching feeling.

He made someone cry again.

No, Annie wasn't really crying her eyes out, it was internal. Something internal that reached out to him. That wanted him to be there for her, and tell her everything was going to be OK.

It made him sick.

With himself. His actions.

Grinding his teeth together, why? Why had he pushed her so hard for an answer? Why had he pressed her for an explanation? Why was he so inconsiderate? He dug his hand into his knee. How could he be so damned stupid? His fingernails scraping skin, drawing blood, he wanted to punish himself for being such an idiot. He wanted to—

"Calm down."

Annie had reached over the table, and put a hand on his own.

"You're going to injure yourself if you keep doing that." Her face showed no visible emotion, yet her voice held so much more. Something… indistinguishable. "You couldn't have guessed my intentions even if you tried. It was unpredictable, that I would join the Military Police instead of the Scouting Legion or the Garrison." Fritz kept his head, but quit digging. "It wasn't any of your business to know. It was never any of your business. I let you… get too close… I'm just not in a rush to die, so I can't make the commitment of joining the Scouting Legion. You understand, right?"

Only silence answered back.

"In any case, that's my decision, and, in the end, that's all that matters…" Her own voice trailed off as he watched her get up. Watched her start to walk away.

He had lost her friendship. Her trust. She'd opened up so much since they'd first met. Even if it was only talking about the little things, it was better than glaring at everything she came across.

If he let her walk away now, all that progress would be lost. The cage around her heart would be forever locked in the dark, the key never used.

He didn't want that.

The hand on his knee balled into a fist.

Annie looked back then. She opened her mouth to say it, and… then…

"Don't say it," he finally said, albeit in barely a whisper. "Don't you dare, say it. You hear me?" He looked up now, tears streaming down his face. "Goodbye. There isn't a thing called 'goodbye' in my language,"—he shook his head, a crook at the corner of his mouth—"and, even to you there is, I can't say it back. So don't say it to me!" He sprang up from the table and reached out to grasp her wrist.

She reeled back.

No, he wouldn't let her run away anymore!

His hand shot forward, caught her hand, and held on tight.

She struggled to break free. "Don't touch me," she snapped. "Let. Go."

"I won't."

"I said, l—"

"I won't!"

Everything stopped. The room grew silent again. He was starting to create another scene.

"Let's take this outside, come on!"

"... Let go already!"

Annie tore free of his grasp, bringing her hand to her chest and scowling at him under the moonlight. She began to raise her voice, then lowered it.

"What makes you think that only you can solely choose when to end everything? It's my decision, not yours."

Fritz opened his mouth to argue, but, nothing came out. She was right—he didn't have any say, but・ "I don't care! I thought we were friends! And now you're just going to abandon that for… what? A safe spot in the Interior like some coward?"

Her eyes flashed. "I'm not a coward."

"Then why are you running away?"

"I'm not running away, either."

Fritz bit his lip. "Then why are you scared?"

Silence.

"I…" Annie averted her eyes, clenching a fist at her side. "... can't tell you."

"What's going on, you guys?!"

Mina ran up and got between them.

"What's this all about?!"

"It's none of your business," Annie retorted, glaring at her and back to him, before turning to leave.

"Annie, wait!" Mina called after her as she began to disappear into the night, stretching out her hand to grab her by the shoulder.

But, Annie just shrugged it off. "Don't follow me," she said over her shoulder. Then, she was gone.

Mina looked back at him. "Fritz, what the hell happened?!" No response. "Fritz?"

"Nothing happened," he replied. "I just… didn't know her as well as I thought I did…"

"Fritz…" Mina smiled sadly. She put a hand on his shoulder, this time. "I'm going to go after Annie and see if I can talk to her! It's my turn, now! You leave it to me, alright?" she said. "She's just not used to people worrying about her, or worrying about others herself! I'm sure of it! So, don't look so down, hear me?"

Then, she, too, was gone, only the sound of her rushed footsteps as they hurried after Annie heard.

Fritz didn't look up from the ground. Mina was a good friend, always so supportive. If only he could be more like her… but, how was he supposed to cheer up? Clenching a fist, he'd been wrong about Annie. She—

"Hey, dumbass."

Leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, it was… Achi?