A/N: Slightly shorter chapter here in a different format, the next chapter is really short too for the time being but it's filled with fluff and joy and all the good stuff. Enjoy!
XXX
14th of march
So, this is my pregnancy diary. I first noticed something strange when I was late last week and threw up a lot yesterday; Agnarr has encouraged me to do this because it apparently helped his mother. He was overjoyed when I told him, but even now I can sense the antsiness inside. He has told me little of his mother, only that she died from childbed fever and I think he is worried about me having the same fate, I've tried to reassure him but every minute task he has insisted on doing himself, from fetching some water to cutting carrots to drying herbs. I truly love that man and couldn't ask for anyone more in the world.
21st March
This is torture. Absolute torture. For some reason I have suddenly gone off chocolate, even the smell of it makes me gag (Agnarr found out the hard way when he surprised me with a box the evening we got home to the castle). I just feel more sluggish too and although the pregnancy has just begun, I feel as though everything takes that bit more effort. Agnarr though, bless him, is as cautious as ever, last week I was sewing another shawl and pricked my finger, I went to the medical office to get it cleaned but passed Agnarr's office. When I told him what happened I was certain that he would have melted down all of the needles in the castle and thrown them to the bottom of the fjord had I not reassured him that I was okay. It's the equinox today, and now more than ever I miss my family. My mother and father always made such a fuss over the changing of the sun, it was always their favourite festival. I wish my child could have grown up with our traditions and with our community but had that happened I probably never would've met Agnarr. I'm glad I left the forest.
1st April
I have a bump! I have a bump! An actual bump! Agnarr's favourite thing to do at night now is to tell stories to the small roundness, I can tell that he will be a great father. Stories of forests, of magical queens and of witches are always his favourites and I can tell that the little one will be just like him in that regard. I remember when Jura was pregnant with little Sven in the forest how when the first bump appeared the whole tribe gathered to celebrate the occasion. In a way we have celebrated on our own, with agnarr dragging up dusty storybooks from the library each night to read and making lists of what we will need as parents. I swear that man will run the coffers dry if I allow him to buy anymore toys. I can tell Agnarr wants a little girl and in all honesty so do I, it would be nice to have a little brown haired girl run around with her father's nose and green eyes. I can tell that she will be loved very much.
28th April
The bump has grown into a gross swelling now. It's heavy and makes my back hurt, there are days where I will lie on the bed and feel as stiff as a board! Agnarr gives me poultices and hot water bottles to relieve the tension and they do work but I fear sometimes that my temper grows too short too quickly and I snap at him. I'm always like that, occasionally glaring at him out of the corner of my eye but he always understands and I can't thank him enough, not even I can put up with me! I want this as over as soon as possible so we can skip the hard bit and go to being our little family together. I hate pregnancy.
28th May
I love pregnancy! The bump has grown now even more now and the warmth that comes from it is reassuring for me, whenever Agnarr is doing work or in a meeting I no longer feel alone as although at the moment it is just a small bump around my stomach I can feel its companionship already. If my calculations are correct I should have a solstice baby. In the forest it was a good sign to have a child on that day and I do hope the luck follows through. Everything feels warm and tingly now and sometimes I cannot help but stop and hug myself with joy. I wish this child would come out already so we can be our family together.
14th June
Agnarr still has nightmares about the war, he doesn't want to tell me and dodges the question whenever I bring it up but I can tell it still haunts him. He wakes me up at night sometimes, jerking awake in the early hours and staring at the moon almost with a fear in his eyes, I've tried coaxing him to talk to me but nothing is working. He will have to make the first move and I fear all I can do is just be there for him.
30th June
Turns out cravings are weird. Yesterday I had the craving for a chocolate sandwich, yes somehow, they exist. Olina the cook was very understanding despite me being embarrassed to ask her for it and said that during her pregnancy she had the same things happening and weird and wonderful cravings would come and go every day. This week is also the end of the first trimester and what an eventful trimester it has been, I never thought I would both love and hate pregnancy as much as I have but it has certainly been... Eventful. Agnarr has been the sweetest and without him I don't know what I would have done, every night he reads stories to the little bump and would always be the3re to sooth my aches and pains. He means the world to me and I'm forever fortunate that fate has brought us together.
5th July
The heat is getting to me. I can feel the tension and the slight irks here and there, even the tiniest of details get to me; a wilted flower in a vase, a picture frame slightly at one angle. I don't know if this pregnancy has given me powers for attention to detail or whether everything has become a thousand times more annoying, but the result has been the same. Yesterday I even snapped at Agnarr, he was running the taps for his evening shave and one of them was squeaky and for some reason it made me so angry. The poor man was scared so much, his eyes widened almost as though I thought they would fall out! I apologised immediately to him then began to cry and get all emotional, I really don't know what has come over me, but I don't like it. I only hope that Agnarr can put up with me for the next five months.
3rd August
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DAMN COLD! Last month I was too hot and now I cannot get out of bed without a jumper, I ask Gerda to tend to the fire in my room, but it still doesn't keep out the biting cold I feel in my bones. Agnarr called the doctor yesterday because when he came home from inspecting the guards, he found me curled under the covers and shivering. He panicked and thought I was sick but when the doctor took my temperature it was normal. I don't know what is happening to me, but I'm scared, very scared. I fear for the little one inside me and if the birth will be easy with these complications. I have only heard of such things from stories of the forest, mothers with unusual heats and chills giving birth to monsters and magical creatures who have tragic fates, the fear is consuming.
22nd September
It's the autumn festival today, Agnarr and I joined the city dwellers in the main square, which was nice, they all kept asking me how things were going, and I felt an immense feeling of pride and love for my child. It's nice to talk about my child as though they were here today, and I still look forward to their birth more than anything. I want to have a family here with Agnarr, one that through stories and tales I can tell my history to in secret, one that I can sleep in bed on a lazy Sunday morning with as little arms and legs lie sprawled out over us both. Little brown or ginger locks would streak our faces and tickle our noses. Little blue or green eyes would look at us with intrigue as we showed them something new, maybe lighting up at their first chocolate, and we would love them to eternity.
31st of October
It's would be the start of winter today in the forest, the time when the spirits would be closest to us. I remember the water spirit would become especially playful today in the rivers by the herb fields and standing by the fjord today I certainly felt her there. In other news Agnarr was playing me his violin in bed last night and the baby kicked strongly, almost as though they were dancing to him. I made him come over and feel and when he felt the thuds his face light up, I swear to Ahtohallan that he looked like the 14-year-old boy I caught hiding in the leaves all those years ago. We spent the rest of the night waiting and playing music for our little one, him frantically running to feel them dancing after he finished playing. I know whoever they will be they will be loved by both I and Agnarr.
11th November
It was raining today, not the type of light rain that just gets you cold but the proper rain that makes you feel all cosy and warm inside, despite the consistent chills. Agnarr's ministers were stopped by flooded roads today so his meetings were cancelled leaving us alone for the day. We spent most of the day holding hands beneath the big stained-glass window in the library, his portrait from our wedding day still hanging on the wall, boy does he look uncomfortable. I remember pulling faces behind the artist in my wedding dress as he took an initial sketch; I think you could tell because his face does look slightly pained in the portrait. Anyway, back to Agnarr, we sat on the little ledge underneath the big window and read stories together. Little petal seemed to like the story of the little mermaid as she kicked especially hard and gave me a tough time whilst Agnarr read it. I think she'll be a daddy's girl as their bond already seems so strong and I love that about him, already so desperate to be a father i can see the smile he tries so desperately to suppress whenever he sees me. I love him and he loves me and together we will love this child.
XXX
Iduna sat perched on Agnarr, their daily reading time an engrained ritual by now. A lazy hand lay draped across her stomach protectively, occasionally patting and tracing whirling spirals around it, as though already playing with the baby beneath. Agnarr smiled at his wife and unborn child, a warmth filling his heart once more and making him forget the nightmares that would wake him in the middle of the night, despite the years yellowing their hue. He turned a page and began to whistle a tune to Iduna, smiling between breaths. The yule tree glowed brightly in the corner of the room, its scented cinnamon and oranges filling the room with its warm and sweet aroma.
"I'll swim and sail on savage seas. With nae fear of drowning." he hummed quietly in the half-light. "And gladly ride the waves of life, if you will marry me" his voice grew louder, now gazing at the pregnant Iduna with adoration. "No scorching sun, nor freezing rain, will stop me on my journey; If you will promise your heart, and love me for eternity." He cleared his throat. "My dearest one my darling dear your mighty words astound me, but I've no need for mighty deeds when I feel your arms around me" reached out for Iduna's arms and lifted her of the couch, the two swaying slightly in the centre of the room to the rhythm of the lullaby. "I would bring you rings of gold; id even sing you poetry" iduna shot him a playful look "And I would keep you from all harm if you would stay beside me!" he twirled her around. "To love to kiss and sweetly hold for the dancing and the dreaming; through all life's sorrows and delights I'll keep your laugh inside me." the pace quickened, and their dancing grew faster and faster with his singing. "I'll swim and sail on savage seas with nae'r fear of drowning, I'll gladly ride the waves of life if you will marry me" he twirled her quickly again and she felt sudden pressure release between her legs and a tightness grow, knocking the wind out of her.
She bent over and placed a and to her stomach, the intense pain ripping through her like the ragged bow of a beached ship. He was there, instantly, as she bent over and had the wind knocked out of her once again by another contraction.
"baby's coming" she got out breathlessly and he ran off to get kai. Another second and he was back with her, supporting hands and panicked eyes looking at her every move trying to help but being helpless at the same time. "Baby's coming" she got out breathlessly before a myriad of doctors and nurses swarmed her, taking her away from him.
XXX
Shorter chapters for 27 and 28 but they're both momentous occasions so I feel like they deserved their own chapters. I have planned out a story up to chapter 50 I think now, and it gets, dark, very dark. I think you guys will like it though there's plenty of fluff mixed in with the angst, so it isn't just a year long trip into the depths of my severely depressed mind. The song that Agnarr sings to Iduna just before she goes into labour is from HTTYD 2 and it's a minor head cannon that both HTTYD and frozen took place in the same geographical area so stories and lullabies will be passed on for generations. Hope you enjoyed and R&R! Btw Agnarr is still very much suffering from the effects of the war, he's just hiding it well. (Not that that's got anything with my plot at all). Also, the UK is getting scared with COVID-19 and I've had to self-isolate because of symptoms, so you may be getting a flurry of fanfic from my sickbed, silver linings eh?!
