AN: Hello friends! I hope everyone is staying inside and staying safe! This is a chapter I had in my head for years! I can't believe I've finally gotten in on paper. I've thought about a million different ways to do it, but here we are. Please let me know what you all thought! Trigger warning for some sensitive and traumatic themes this chapter.

I stayed with Dimitri that night even after promising Alberta we would behave, but in my defense, nothing remotely interesting happened. After Dimitri finished getting sick, he mumbled an apology to me and immediately passed out. Sleep didn't come easy for me that night even though I knew there was nothing we could do about Tasha right now. The following morning, I quickly explained our plan to confront Tasha at graduation to Dimitri so he didn't call her and blow our cover before dashing back to my room to change before our morning training session.

The next few weeks flew by. Thankfully after the attack, I hadn't seen any more ghosts to interfere with my field training. Even though I had stopped "freezing" during the fake attacks, I kept going to therapy because I genuinely found it helpful to talk to Deborah. Somehow after Lissa and I had come back from the human world, my life had become even more complicated. I had a great support system of friends here, especially now that I wasn't keeping a huge secret from them any more, but Deborah was helping me figure out how to rely on them more instead of trying to do everything myself.

The closer my trials got, the more nervous I found myself becoming. I was so nervous some mornings I couldn't eat for fear I would puke it all up. Dimitri had even noticed something was off about me, but no matter how many times he assured me that I would be fine at trials, I couldn't shake the awful queasy feeling that had been following me around.

To help put my mind at ease, Dimitri had been enlisting other guardians when they had a few spare minutes to spar with me so I could prove to myself I was actually a good fighter and I could fight people other than Dimitri who I knew so well. It was during one of these sessions that I found myself in the clinic for the millionth time this year.

I walked into the gym on Wednesday morning about a week before trials to find Dimitri waiting for me with a guardian I didn't know.

"Rose, this is Ismael. He came in with a moroi last night." Dimitri motioned me over to them.

"Let me guess, this is another test to see if I can beat someone who isn't you." I dropped my bag on the floor and grinned.

"Rose," Ismael stuck out his hand to me. "You have a very dedicated mentor. He came and found me nearly the second we touched down."

I smiled warmly at Dimitri. "He is thorough that's for sure."

Sparring with Ismael was much different than any other guardian I had sparred with. Most of our guardians on campus came from various locations around Eastern Europe, with lots of them coming from Russia. Judging by Ismael's accent, he came from somewhere in the Middle East. He fought like he trained in a different style too. It was definitely an interesting challenge.

We'd been sparring for close to 10 minutes with minor interruptions from Dimitri to correct my technique or positions, when Ismael landed a strong push kick to my abs and I hit the ground. I tried to stand but my muscles immediately objected. I'd had the breath knocked out of me many times before, but this felt different. I felt Ismael stake me through the back, but I couldn't do anything to protect myself. When I didn't get up immediately, Dimitri immediately ran to my side.

"Roza, tell me what's wrong."

I managed to grunt in pain, but words were still beyond me at the moment. I could hear Ismael peppering Dimitri with questions but couldn't focus on anything except my muscles seizing. Dimitri tipped my face up to meet his eyes.

"Breathe with me," he commanded and started breathing slow and deep. It took a lot of effort, but I finally got my breathing to sync up with him. I could breathe again, but the pain and cramping didn't stop. "We need to get you to the clinic."

He stood and helped me up. I got to my feet, but remained hunched in pain. Dimitri put his arm around me to hold me up and I leaned into him.

"Can you walk?" Ismael asked from my other side.

"There is no way I am not letting you carry me to the clinic again, Comrade. I'm walking."

With Dimitri on one side and Ismael on the other, we slowly made our way to the clinic to see Dr. Olensky. The whole way there, Ismael was apologizing profusely and no matter how many times Dimitri or I told him that it was training and accidents happened, I could tell he was wracked with guilt. He left us at the door after Dimitri promised to come and find him later.

When the nurse saw it was me, she disappeared out of sight and returned immediately with Dr. Olensky who ushered me into a room.

Once I was laying on the table, curled in on my side, Dimitri explained to Dr. Olensky what happened.

"She was sparring with a visiting guardian and he landed a really hard kick to her stomach. She's gotten knocked down before, but never been in pain like this." If anyone else was listening to Dimitri talk, he probably sounded like a professional guardian, but I could hear the panic bleeding into his voice.

"Rose," Dr. Olensky came to stand at my side. "Can you tell me about the pain?"

In between gasps of pain, I managed to describe it to her.

"Guardian Belikov, I'm worried Rose might have some internal bleeding so I'm going to give her an ultrasound. I need you to step out," I heard Dr. Olensky say.

My eyes shot open and locked with Dimitri's. I wanted him to stay so badly, but I wasn't sure if I could ask him to without raising eyebrows. I could see Dimitri was thinking the same thing. His eyes flicked to Dr. Olensky then back to me and with a sigh, he nodded.

"I'll be right outside the door, Rose."

Once Dr. Olensky closed the door behind Dimitri, she gave me some sort of injection for the pain so that I could hold still for the ultrasound. Almost immediately began to feel loopy and disconnected. I could barely control my muscles and as my head flopped to one side of the table I couldn't help but laugh. I did manage to keep still as Dr. Olensky ran the probe over my stomach. Her face was giving nothing away, not even when she started wiping the cold gel off my stomach.

"Rose, I know the pain killers I gave you were strong, but I'm going to help you into the bathroom to take a urine sample."

As I slowly sat up, I looked at Dr. Olensky, confused. "A urine test for internal bleeding?" I asked.

"Just checking one more thing. No need to worry, Rose."

I managed to fill the cup and make it back out to my bed even with my slow reactions.

Dr. Olensky looked at me kindly. "Why don't you rest while I wait on your results. I know how sleepy that medication will make you. I'll wake you when I know anything for sure."

I nodded at her, already on the verge of doing off. " ," I called out to her as she went to leave. "Is Guardian Belikov still here?"

She nodded. "Would you like me to have him come back in?"

"Yes please." I sighed… and immediately fell asleep.

When I woke up, I had no idea how long I was out, but it was still dark out so it couldn't have been that long. Dimitri was sitting in a chair next to my bed looking stone faced. My head still felt foggy, but I wasn't in nearly as much pain any more. Just some residual aching still.

Sitting up, I groaned and Dimitri shot out of his chair.

"Roza, are you okay? Can I get you anything?" He brushed my hair back from my face and I leaned into his hand.

"Did Dr. Olensky come say anything?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"She came in to check on you, but wouldn't tell me anything. I'll go get her." He returned a moment later.

"Rose, I'm glad to see you're up."

"How long was I out, Doctor?" I asked.

"Only about an hour. Ativan wears off quickly. How are you feeling now?"

"A little groggy, my stomach is still hurting, but not as bad as before." I caught sight of Dimitri's worried look out of the corner of my eye.

Dr. Olensky pulled up a chair and sat next to my bed. "Rose, I know exactly what's wrong with you, and don't worry you're going to be fine. Would you like for us to be alone before we discuss it?" She glanced sideways at Dimitri and I quickly shook my head.

"Please just tell me."

"Rose, did you know you were pregnant?" She asked, taking my hand gently.

"Excuse me? Pregnant?" My mind was racing a million miles an hour. How was it even possible? I couldn't even look at Dimitri. I was terrified if I looked at him, I'd see anger. That he would think that I cheated on him… of course he would think that. That's the most logical explanation.

"You were," Dr. Olensky continued. "I'm so sorry, Rose, but you're having a miscarriage."

AN: I am not a medical professional, but I do know that miscarriage because of physical trauma is rare in early weeks so I took liberties here. I'm dying to know what you all think! Also I hope a chapter during us all being stuck inside has helped you all like it helped me!