Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.
One of the first things Elliot was aware of when he woke on Saturday morning, besides the fact that Olivia was in his arms again, was the scent of her shampoo from where her head was tucked under his chin. That brought back memories from the night before, when he himself had been the one to wash her hair. He could clearly envision it all then – the feel of her body against his in the shower, their hands on one another as they lathered each other with soap. He felt his body reacting to the images in his mind and tried to shift his focus to other things before he embarrassed himself. The last thing he wanted was for Olivia to awaken and realize his present state. To his dismay, the words that reached his ears next confirmed that she already had.
"Good morning, Elliot. I'd ask if you had pleasant dreams, but something tells me I already know the answer to that question."
Glancing down, he was met by her brown eyes that were looking up at him in return. There was no missing the impish grin on her face. That immediately put him at ease, and any nervousness he was feeling evaporated. If she was able to be comfortable with the situation between them, then so would he. Logically, he knew it was just his body's natural reaction and nothing to be ashamed about. However, these developments between him and Olivia were still relatively new. But even though that was the case, their history with one another was anything but new. He reminded himself that they had known one another for almost thirteen years. Long gone were the days where he needed to feel embarrassed in her presence – for any reason. His confidence restored, he was able to answer.
"Either way you look at it, Liv – pleasant dreams or something that happened after I woke up – you're the one responsible."
Her grin only widened at his statement, her eyes sparkling. Before she could properly reply to what he had said, he lowered his head so that he could kiss her. He knew that their time together before Eli woke up was limited, not that he minded. He knew Olivia would have no complaints, either.
As the kiss deepened, her palm came up to rest on his cheek. Even when they finally separated, Elliot still held her tightly in his embrace. There was so much he wanted to say to her in that moment – he wanted to tell her how he longed to make love to her, but that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He simply couldn't fathom them taking that next step while she still had the stitches and the traces of bruising on her body. When he opened his eyes again after taking a moment to center himself, he saw understanding reflected in her gaze. He wouldn't have to tell her, he realized. She already knew.
They were interrupted then by a soft but insistent voice calling out from Olivia's bedroom doorway. Eli was awake.
"Daddy? You in there?"
"Yeah, buddy. You can come in."
The sound of little feet running could be heard then, followed by the bed moving as Eli launched himself on top of the mattress. He crawled up from the bottom until he wedged himself in the middle of Olivia and Elliot then turned around and snuggled down between them. It was as if crawling into bed with them were an everyday occurrence for him. They each turned on their sides so they could face the boy. Eli looked back and forth between the adults eagerly, clearly loving the attention.
Olivia's stomach rumbled loudly then, announcing her hunger to the whole room. Two heads turned in her direction, and Eli giggled. Turning to his son, Elliot spoke in a teasing voice.
"Well, as much as I'm enjoying being here with the two of you, I think I should get up and make us some breakfast. What do you think, Eli?"
"Cheesy eggs!"
The toddler called out his request, clapping his hands and bouncing up and down a little as he did so. Fully surprised that the boy hadn't asked for pancakes two weekends in a row, Elliot was more than happy to make him whatever he wanted.
"Why don't you and Olivia spend some time together, and I will go to the kitchen and make us some scrambled eggs with cheese?"
Eli shook his head, and Elliot was surprised at his refusal, because he knew how much his son adored Olivia. He wondered what could possibly be the problem. He didn't have to wait long to find out.
"I have to go to the potty, Daddy."
"Okay. I will take you, then I will make breakfast, deal?"
He was met with an affirmative nod, and Eli began to crawl off the bed before Elliot had even begun to move. By the time he had helped his son, and made it to the kitchen, Olivia had already started a pot of coffee brewing. She passed him on her way to the living room, pausing long enough to steal a kiss. Then she went to join Eli at the coffee table where he was already playing with some blocks.
The morning and early afternoon had gone by in a blur, and Eli was currently in the other room taking a nap. Elliot and Olivia were in the living room, cuddled together on one of the sofas, and awaiting the arrival of Elliot's other children. Maureen had called shortly after breakfast to say that she and Kathleen would be arriving together, and the twins had called not long ago to say they were leaving Queens.
A knock at the door signaled the arrival of someone. If he had to hazard a guess, Elliot figured it would be his two older daughters. They were traveling from the shortest distance, and it was unlikely that Richard and Elizabeth could have made the trip from Queens already. If they had, he would need to have a serious talk with whomever had driven about their lead foot.
Disentangling himself from Olivia, he gave her one last kiss before standing up to go to the door. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was ashamed of his feelings for her, but he wanted to talk with his older children before openly displaying such affection toward Olivia in front of them. Although he and Kathy had already told them about the divorce, he didn't want to spring a new relationship on them so suddenly. Even though Olivia was anyone but 'new' to them.
"Dad, are you going to open the door or not?"
Chuckling to himself as Kathleen's voice carried through the barrier, he crossed the short distance and unhooked the latch and deadbolt, then turned the knob. Maureen and Kathleen stepped inside, hugging their father before shedding their jackets and going to greet Olivia.
"Olivia, how are you feeling?"
Maureen asked the question, her voice laced with concern. Both of her parents had told her about Olivia's injury at work, and she had been calling her father several times a week for updates.
"I'm doing much better, Maureen, thank you. I go back to work on Monday, and if all goes well, the stitches should come out on Wednesday when I have my next checkup."
"That's great!"
Now it was Kathleen's turn to chime in. She approached where Olivia was standing by the sofa, and gave the woman a hug. She, too, had been worried when she'd learned that Olivia had been hurt in the line of duty. Knowing that she was almost recovered was a relief to hear.
"Your brother and sister should be here soon. Eli is in the other room napping."
Elliot answered the questions on his daughter's minds before they had even been asked. While they were waiting for the others to arrive, he played the host and made sure everyone had something to drink. He also planned ahead and brought Olivia's collection of takeout menus into the living room to set on the coffee table so they could choose where to order from.
After he had served Maureen, Kathleen, and Olivia their drinks, Eli called out from the other room. Setting his own drink down next to Olivia's on the coffee table, Elliot went in to check on the boy. Minutes later, when they returned, they found the three women talking together. Eli went to his sisters happily, since it had been awhile since he had seen them.
"So, what are you ladies talking about?"
Elliot put the question into the room, not really asking anyone in particular. He was just curious about what had gone on in his absence.
"Maureen was telling me about her Master's program, and the thesis that she is preparing to write, and Kathleen was telling me about the internship she was applying to for the summer."
Having kept in regular contact with his daughters, Elliot was already aware of all of this. He mentally berated himself for not telling Olivia about it, and made a personal promise to keep her more informed.
A knock at the door interrupted his train of thought, and he hurried to let Richard and Elizabeth in. A similar scene played out as before, with the twins hugging their father, then going to greet Olivia. Things in the apartment were a little bit chaotic for a few moments before everyone got settled again, but to Elliot, it was music to his ears. He lived for moments like this now, times when all of his children were under the same roof with him. It reminded him of how close he had come to losing it all, and how Olivia had helped him to see he wasn't as weak as he had imagined himself to be.
"Dad? Are you okay?"
Elizabeth's question brought him back to the present, and he immediately answered his youngest daughter in the affirmative. The last thing he wanted was to cause any of his children more worry on his behalf. He had done enough of that already.
Realizing that Elliot just needed a moment to collect himself, Olivia took the initiative and suggested they figure out what they wanted to eat. The four older Stabler children all dove for the menus on the coffee table at the same time, playfully arguing with one another as they did so. As the controlled chaos ensued once again, Elliot and Olivia's gazes met each other from across the room, and they shared a soft and knowing smile. He knew that if they were closer, he could easily slide his hand into hers and squeeze her fingers. Today would be the day he would tell his children. He'd initially wanted to talk to Olivia about it first, but she had just given him the answer he was looking for.
It hadn't taken long for everyone to come to a decision on what to order, and surprisingly, delivery hadn't taken a long time, either. Now everyone was gathered around Olivia's table digging in to the food they had just unpacked.
Elliot was sitting at the opposite end of the table from Olivia, and he kept stealing glances at her. He was trying to find the right time to broach the subject he so desperately wanted to share. However, it seemed that Eli had other ideas, and broke the ice for him before he had the chance.
"So, what have you been up to with Dad this weekend, Squirt?"
Richard asked his little brother the question in between mouthfuls of food, trying to keep the boy involved in the conversation.
"Olivia read me a story last night. Then when I woke up, I got in bed with her and Daddy."
Four pairs of eyes turned from the three year old to face their father. There was no anger in their expressions, but plenty of shock. They were all seeking confirmation. The fact that Elliot hadn't disputed what Eli had said proved it to be true.
Sensing the tension in the room rising to another level, Olivia rose from her seat and attempted to excuse herself. Elliot saw this and immediately stopped her. No matter what happened, he wanted her to stay. He needed her to stay. She'd been by his side through so much already these past few months. He understood what she was trying to do, and he loved her for it, but there was no reason for her to leave.
"No, Liv. Please, sit back down. You don't have to leave."
Breathing a small sigh of relief when she complied with his request, Elliot then focused his attention on his children. Save for Eli, they were all old enough to understand. He didn't have to treat this situation delicately.
"What Eli said is the truth, but it isn't what it sounds like."
This wasn't working out at all like he planned. He kept fumbling over his words, and he couldn't figure out what he wanted to say. Just when he was about to give up, Olivia came to his rescue yet again.
"Your father has only been sharing my bed since I got hurt. I was in terrible pain, and couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep on my own."
Silence reigned over the room for a few minutes as the four older Stabler children processed what they were told. Then it was Kathleen who questioned something.
"That makes sense. But Olivia, you said yourself that you are feeling better. Why is Dad still sharing your bed? Is it because Eli needs the other room?"
It would have been an easy out to just answer 'yes' to her question. However, Elliot wasn't about to lie to his children. Finding his courage in Olivia's eyes, he faced them once more.
"It's no secret that Olivia and I have gotten closer since I've been staying here. We've always been close. The truth is, over the past couple of months, I've fallen for her."
Now it was Richard who spoke up, and there was a slight edge to his voice. It wasn't necessarily anger, but maybe a hint of betrayal.
"How long have you been a couple, and not told us?"
Elliot reached out his hand and rested it on his son's shoulder, squeezing gently. He hoped that his next words would be believed.
"We only went on our first official date last night. You have to believe me, I would never keep something this important from you – any of you."
Maureen set down her chopsticks, then cleared her throat. Glancing around the table and receiving nods from the others, she took the opportunity to speak not only for herself, but her siblings as well.
"We believe you, Dad, and we're happy for you and Olivia. You just have to understand that this still seems kind of sudden."
"I know, and it wasn't my intention to spring this on you this way. I did plan on telling you during lunch, just not like this."
Gentle laughter rang out around the table then, and Elliot relaxed. His kids weren't angry with him. They'd even said they were happy for him. Until now, he hadn't realized just how much he'd needed to hear that.
The rest of the meal flowed smoothly, and when they were done, everyone gathered in the living room to watch a movie together. Elliot, Olivia, and Maureen sat on one sofa, while the twins and Kathleen took the other. Eli sat on his father's lap.
When the movie was over, Maureen and Kathleen had to leave and head back to school. The twins were able to stay a little longer, as they both didn't work until afternoon tomorrow. At Eli's request, everyone gathered around the coffee table to play a game with him.
Several games later, Richard and Elizabeth also decided that they needed to leave. They had to work the following Saturday, but would try and come and visit next Sunday instead. When they said their goodbyes, Elliot did the same as when his daughters had left earlier. He not only told them to be careful, but to text when they arrived home safely.
With everyone gone, it was just Elliot and Olivia alone with Eli again. It was nearing dinnertime, and they were making plans. They also were trying to figure out something fun to do for tomorrow. Since it was supposed to rain, Elliot mentioned maybe taking his son to the Children's museum. Naturally, he invited Olivia along, and to his pleasant surprise, she agreed to join them.
Sunday morning was almost a near repeat of Saturday morning for Elliot and Olivia. Not long after they had woken up, Eli came into the room and crawled into bed with them. After the conversation with his kids yesterday, Elliot was glad that he'd already told Kathy about the recent developments with Olivia. The last thing he'd need is Eli accidentally spilling to her, too. Not that he'd expect Kathy to be angry, but it would make things very awkward.
He wondered why his anxiety was higher today than usual, then realized that it likely had to do with the fact that Olivia was returning to work tomorrow. While he had always known she was going to go back to the job, he couldn't stop his nerves. He'd never ask her to give up a career she was devoted to just because he worried about her, though. All he could do was trust in her, and be there to take care of her.
"El? Are you all right?"
He turned his attentions to Olivia, who was watching him with a concerned expression. Realizing that he had been sitting at the breakfast table letting his thoughts run away with him, he answered her quickly.
"Yeah, Liv. I just got distracted for a minute, that's all."
Olivia didn't believe him for a second. She knew what the problem was, but respected the fact that he didn't want to talk about it in front of his young son. Wisely letting the subject drop, she instead focused on the plans for the day. They would be leaving right after breakfast.
Given the fact that it was a weekend, the Children's museum was crowded, but not uncomfortably so. They were able to give Eli a little bit of free reign to go off on his own and explore from time to time, while keeping a close eye on him. After a couple of hours, it was easy to see that the boy was getting tired, and they put him in his stroller to leave.
Rather than have to fuss with making lunch at the apartment, they decided to stop at a restaurant on the way back. The three of them were sitting at a table together waiting for their meal when an elderly couple approached them on their way out. The woman smiled at Eli coloring quietly in his booster seat next to Elliot, and addressed them.
"You have a beautiful son."
Olivia startled at the compliment, and was about to correct her, but before she had the chance, Elliot covered her hand with his own and turned to the couple with a smile.
"Thank you."
The husband and wife continued on their way, leaving Elliot and Olivia alone with Eli once more. Not letting go of her hand, Elliot squeezed gently. He could tell just by her breathing that she was beginning to panic.
"Liv, relax."
The soothing tone of his voice immediately put her at ease, and she looked up at him, concentrating on the intense blue shade of his eyes. Something about them had always been calming for her. It was no different today.
"I don't mind if someone thinks that Eli is our son. Granted, I would never deny the fact that Kathy is his mother, but that wasn't this was today."
This conversation was quickly becoming too serious to have in public. She wasn't about to run from it, but it also wasn't something she wanted to talk with him about in the middle of a lunch crowd in Manhattan. Sending him a pleading look to drop the subject, she hoped he would understand. He got the message. With another squeeze of her hand, he pulled away just as the server arrived at the table with their meals. There would be plenty to talk about when they got home.
After lunch, Elliot and Olivia drove Eli back to Queens to drop him off at Kathy's. It was a little earlier than he'd planned, but Eli had started asking for his mother when they were getting ready to leave the restaurant, and Elliot didn't want to upset the boy.
Once he and Olivia arrived back at the apartment, it struck him how quiet the place was without his son there. Not that Eli was particularly loud, it was just that his children had a presence about them that filled the apartment with an energy he couldn't explain.
Helping Olivia take off her jacket, he took her hand in his, and led her to the sofa. Once there, they sat together and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. He'd needed to talk to her since this morning, now would finally be their chance. Hugging her closer to him, he decided it was now or never.
"Liv, about what happened at lunch today -"
"It's okay, El."
At first he was worried that she was going to avoid the conversation, but then he realized that wasn't what she was doing at all. If she were uncomfortable, he'd be able to feel the tension in her body, and she was completely at ease in his arms.
"I'm the one who owes you an apology. I overreacted. It was a sweet moment, and I completely blew it out of proportion."
Turning his head so his lips brushed against her temple, Elliot tried his best to soothe her. He wasn't expecting an apology from her at all.
"Liv, you don't owe me anything. I know why you got anxious, and I understand. What is happening between us is new for me, too."
He pressed another kiss to her forehead, cradling her head against his chest.
"I meant what I said, earlier, though. I don't mind if someone mistakes you as the mother of my children. I would be honored to have a family with you someday."
At those words, he felt when Olivia actually stopped breathing for a few moments before drawing in a few shaky breaths. He had always known how much she had longed to be a mother.
"Please know I'm not trying to rush things. But if its something you still want, we could maybe look into adopting together somewhere down the line."
They both knew that Olivia's chances of getting pregnant at her age were slim, and even if she did, the risks would be substantial. But that didn't mean they couldn't provide a loving home to a baby or child who needed one.
At first Elliot had taken Olivia's lack of response as a refusal, and worried he had said too much, too soon. Then, he felt her tears dampening his shirt near his neck, and he knew she was just overcome with emotion. He realized that what he had just offered was a chance for her greatest dream to come true. Even though she hadn't spoken anything out loud, she had just given him her answer.
Later that night, Elliot and Olivia were relaxing on the sofa watching a movie together. The rest of the day had gone by quietly, and it seemed neither wanted to broach the subject of Olivia returning to work the following morning. Even though he hadn't said anything yet, she knew it was bothering him. Figuring that if they could have some shared intimacy, it might prompt him to talk, Olivia decided to ask him a question.
"El? Did you want to shower with me again tonight?"
He looked at her with a sense of wonder. This would make the third night in a row that they had shared a shower. Last night, after Eli had gone to bed, she had asked him to join her a second time. He didn't even have to think about what his answer would be tonight. Kissing her soundly, he swept Olivia up off her feet and carried her into the bathroom.
As the water warmed up, they undressed each other, then stepped into the shower. Unlike the previous two times when they had showered together, this wasn't just about touching and exploring one another's bodies. Elliot held Olivia close to him as he kissed her tenderly, his one hand slipping underneath her hair to cradle the back of her neck. There was no way he could hide from her here. In the shower, it wasn't just their bodies, but their emotions were laid bare. Finally, Elliot felt free to speak the words he'd been holding in all day.
"I'm scared, Liv. I know when it comes down to it, I just have to trust you and let you do your job, but I can't help it. I never want to get another phone call like that again."
Olivia's hands ran down the skin of his back, smoothing over his muscles. She turned her head into the crook of his neck to place a soft kiss over the pulse point at his throat before responding.
"I know El. I wish I could promise you that nothing like that will ever happen again, but I will never lie to you."
She felt his body tremble slightly beneath her palms as the water continued to cascade down upon them, and she held him even tighter.
"Just know that I will be careful – more careful than I have ever been before – because I have someone to come home to now."
Even though they had yet to discuss what their new living situation would be like, the words hit Elliot squarely in the chest, and a sob escaped his throat. He realized that what he'd believed from time to time all those years working with Olivia was true – she had always thought herself to be expendable – until now.
He wanted nothing more in that moment than to pick her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, then press her against the shower wall, but he refrained from doing so. At least for a few more days. He wasn't going to do anything to cause added pressure on her back until the stitches came out, even if it was getting more and more difficult to restrain himself. Last night, Olivia had all but given him consent, insisting that she was fine, but he had refused. When they did make love for the first time, he didn't want the moment to be interrupted by even the barest hint of pain on Olivia's part. If that meant waiting, he would wait.
His thoughts were shattered when he felt Olivia's hand travel south below his waist to wrap around him and begin stroking gently. He'd never even had the chance to give her any pleasure. Before he could say anything, her voice was in his ear.
"Shh, let me take care of you, El."
Though the rational part of him wanted to protest, and insist that she be first, he was helpless to resist. Lowering his head so his mouth covered hers, he kissed her deeply, then buried his head in the crevice between her neck and shoulder, and gave in to her touch.
Several minutes later, he was breathing heavily as he came down from his high, and coming back to himself as he felt Olivia's hands smoothing over his body, washing him. When she was finished, he gathered some soap in his own hands, and returned the favor. He washed her body, loving the feel of her skin under his hands.
As his hands dipped lower, he touched her intimately, swallowing her gasp of pleasure with his kiss. He didn't stop until he coaxed a response from her, this time stroking her flesh to calm her the same way he had built her up only moments before.
Before they stepped out of the shower, Elliot shampooed Olivia's hair, spending plenty of time massaging her scalp. He also used the sponge and antibacterial soap to wash her stitches, placing a kiss over them after he rinsed away the suds.
After they had dried off, he bandaged her shoulder. Then with a towel still wrapped around his waist, he disappeared into Olivia's bedroom to grab something for them to wear. Instead of bringing her in a traditional pair of pajamas, he had brought her one of his tee shirts to sleep in. She smiled at him warmly when she saw his selection, and lifted her arms so he could put the garment on her.
Once she was dressed, he picked her up in his arms again and carried her to the bed. Lying down beside her, he pulled her close and they snuggled together. He sensed the moment she gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep against his chest, her arm wrapped snugly around his waist. Feeling a surge of emotion, he whispered to her fiercely before sleep claimed him.
"Goodnight, Olivia. I love you."
