AN: We're getting closer to end and I'm so glad for the feedback after last chapter. Not gonna lie, I was worried about that birth scene and the baby's name and everything else haha so thanks for all the kind messages, and I hope you'll enjoy this one! We're on our way to the final chapters and I just wanted to thank everyone for their support. Writing is hard work but one I enjoy doing, even more so when I receive your comments and reviews. As for the end of this chapter, I ask you to trust me to make things right, don't worry just yet. As always, let me know your thoughts!
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Mia is a good baby, Harvey thinks.
She cries a little, but not for long. Loves being held, especially by Donna — it's like they're the same person, really. She likes it when Harvey walks her around the apartment too, her little eyes wide and alert as she takes it all in. They've found that she likes being entertained and talked to, but that most of the time what she really wants is to sleep. She sleeps a lot, but then she also wakes up a lot, which means he and Donna's sleep are a little compromised.
They are handling it, though.
Clara leaves on Saturday night, amid a tearful goodbye to her granddaughter, who is asleep when this happens and completely unfazed by it all. She's been a good help, and Donna doesn't even complain about it — besides spending time with Mia, the moral support is good. Plus, she remembered to get groceries, which hadn't even crossed their minds yet.
Still, Sunday comes and it ends up being their worst night yet, because Mia takes short naps and long feedings and ends up awake and when she's awake, one of them must be too. She's not fussy, particularly, but she's still sleeping in their room and she likes to keep at least one of them in her line of vision. Harvey doesn't think that's too bad, considering she's only six days old.
And, even when she's asleep, he and Donna are anxious. He supposes it's something people talk about but don't understand until it happens to them. But she's so small and tiny and dependent and perfect that whenever she's asleep they just… stare.
"Look at her pout," Harvey whispers to Donna, who chuckles.
Mia is indeed pouting in her sleep, having just been fed and burped. They've installed a co-sleeper on Donna's side of the bed because the feedings are constant and Mia is too small — they both can't bear to think of her sleeping on her own down the hall yet. Maybe in a few weeks they can try it out.
She's a sturdy little thing, all cheeks and chubby little hands. The hair is still going strong and looks just like his hair color. He sees so much of Donna in her, though — now that she's past that wrinkly new baby phase, she looks more like herself. Not that she wasn't cute before, she was, but she looks so different and so much cuter anyway. She's wearing a white little onesie with small flowers on it, lying on her side with her legs close to her little body, much like he imagines she was when she was still in Donna's belly.
"I think she's dreaming of my breasts," Donna jokes. "You know, since I stopped being your secretary to be her milkmaid now."
Harvey laughs, pressing his lips against Donna's neck. He's hugging her from behind, arms around her waist, and he knows they should sleep when the baby is sleeping but it's really hard to sleep when Mia is so perfect and so terrifying at the same time. He has no doubt admitting he's checked she's breathing more than once in the last few days. He knows Donna has done the same.
New parents. That's who they are now.
"What can I say? We have good taste," he tells her softly.
She laughs softly and settles against him, lacing her fingers with his.
"We should sleep," she says. "She'll wake up in two hours and we have a big day tomorrow."
It would be a big day, sort of. His mom is coming to meet Mia. He's trying not to make it a big deal and he's grateful Donna acts the same way, but it is big. Especially when you consider that six months ago he wasn't speaking to his mom at all.
He nods and Donna shifts to face him, pressing her lips softly against his. She sighs and he breathes her in, moving to press a kiss against her hair as she settles against him more comfortably. She falls asleep after just a few moments. He can sense the rise and fall of her chest against his and the way she's relaxed in his arms. It appears parenthood has already changed Donna's sleeping habits, he thinks with a smirk. It's not surprising that she's settling in well.
He pulls away a little, just enough to watch her. His eyes go from her to Mia, still dreaming away in her crib, and the sight of them is the last he sees before he falls asleep too.
Donna opens her eyes slowly, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of the bedroom. There's only silence, so she's relaxed and closes her eyes again, letting herself snuggle deeper into the pillows until she stretches out an arm, lazily, and is met only with sheets. Still, the room is silent. Too silent.
She opens her eyes again, this time more alert, and looks straight to the co-sleeper.
Empty.
Her heart thunders against her chest as she looks at the other side of the bed; also empty.
"Harvey?" Her voice might be a little edgy.
She's ready to slip off the bed when the door opens and he appears, though — one arm supporting Mia and the other holding a cup, presumably for her. She relaxes instantly because her baby is right there and apparently she's quite well. Donna sits up and stretches her arms — for the baby rather than the coffee. Things change, after all.
With a chuckle, Harvey gets her immediately, putting the coffee on the bedside table and then moving Mia to Donna. She's happy to see that she's awake, and brings her knees up to put Mia against her legs to see her properly. It's something the two of them do a lot, really — just watch each other. Mia's little hand grips Donna's index finger and she moves her arm a little, kind of like a handshake.
"Good morning," Donna coos as she feels Harvey's lips against her hair. "Were you being good for Daddy?"
"She didn't want to sleep after I burped her," he tells her. "So I decided we might as well have some time on our own. I was gonna give her a bath, but settled with making breakfast while she watched."
Donna chuckles. They both are a little afraid of bath time and usually rely on each other for help. It's a weird dance, but they work through it while they're not quite confident in that area. Mia is still so small, even if she's changed so much since birth, and she's constantly afraid of hurting her in any way. She still laughs when she remembers Harvey trying to cut the baby's tiny nails a few days before. What a nightmare.
Mia is a trooper, though. She seems pretty content with the parents she's got so far.
Donna reaches for the cup and takes a sip of the now very familiar decaf, today with a splash of vanilla, just the way she likes it. Harvey moves to open the curtains a little and Mia blinks rapidly as she gets used to the light, still gripping Donna's free hand.
"I'll be right back," Harvey tells them.
Donna smiles. "Is this finally the day where I get breakfast in bed?"
He winks at her and exits the bedroom.
Donna sighs and looks at Mia, who's staring at her with interest. She puts the cup back on the nightstand and can't resist touching the baby's tiny feet, leaning down to press a kiss on each of them. Mia moves her legs a little in reflex, gurgling. Both Donna and Harvey think this is her happy sound, so Donna laughs a little. She moves Mia's legs up and down a little, and Mia moves her arms rapidly, enjoying playtime.
"You're very happy this morning," Donna notes softly. "I love you. I love you so much."
Mia gurgles again. Her little sounds are mesmerizing, and they know for a fact they are simply made out of reflex, but they're cute all the same. Donna picks her up then, resting the baby's head against her shoulder and pressing her lips repeatedly on her forehead in noisy little kisses. She feels Mia kick her legs a little and thinks about all the times she felt these little moves these past few months. She leans back against the headboard and chuckles, repeating the kisses.
Harvey enters the room again, this time with a tray of breakfast.
"Hey, she smiled!" he notes immediately.
Donna looks down on Mia. "Did you smile? Did you like Mommy's kisses?"
But Mia merely shifted her head a little and kept looking at the room with attention.
"Of course she did," Harvey tells her. "You're a pretty good kisser."
Donna gapes at him as he puts the tray in front of her. Whoever thought Harvey Specter didn't do romance (and Donna herself was one of those people for quite some time) was wrong, because when he does, man, does he get it right. He made her pancakes and she has to bite her lower lip not to giggle at the strawberries and whipped cream. He even added a small pink rose to the tray, no doubt from the bouquet he gave her the evening after Mia's birth. Six days and the bouquet has endured.
"Excuse me," she says softly. "I'm the best kisser."
"I didn't say it because I didn't want it to go over your head," Harvey retorts, making his way to his side of the bed.
"Too late for that," she shrugs comically. Mia gurgles too. "See, she agrees."
Harvey laughs and reaches for the baby so Donna can eat comfortably. If Mia doesn't like being moved around, she doesn't look like it. Donna can't help but watch Harvey as he holds Mia in his arms, looking every bit in awe as she feels. She loves that Mia enjoys being held by him too (she's been very selective about who's worthy of holding her) and loves how quiet the baby is whenever Harvey speaks.
"This looks delicious," Donna comments as she takes in the food. "Have you eaten?"
He nods. "We watched Oprah together while I had my breakfast."
She shakes her head. "You're giving our daughter bad habits."
"Oprah is very good at relationship advice, I'll have you know," Harvey retorts as she takes the first bite of the pancakes. Donna moans a little at the taste of it, making Harvey grin. "Good?"
"Amazing," she says honestly. "Try it."
She puts another generous amount of food on her fork and offers it to him, who promptly opens his mouth for the food. She takes another sip of her coffee and notices he's still chewing but already grinning wide.
"What?" Donna asks, smiling too.
"This is the second time we're having strawberries and whipped cream in this bed," he says.
"This is a new mattress," Donna snorts, looking pointedly at Mia in his arms. "And this is an entirely different situation."
"Yeah, it is," Harvey laughs, looking down at the baby too. "You know, the only time I actually regretted the night she happened," at this Donna chuckles, "was when you stopped working for me."
Donna frowns slightly, thinking it over. She supposes she regretted it too at first. For the hurt and the pain and the lack of self-love she felt then. She didn't feel played, not by Harvey. She always knew he had his issues, but she hated how she read him wrong, hated the way she let herself hope. It's not something she likes to remember, the weeks immediately following that night. So she remains quiet and waits for him to elaborate.
"I just… regretted leaving at first," he continues. "Then you said it wasn't working anymore and left to work for Louis. That's when I knew I had fucked up. I guess I regretted not facing this. But I never regretted it, not even when you first told me you were pregnant."
"Me neither," she agrees softly.
"Even if I had a panic attack that day," he adds, way too nonchalantly. Donna stills; this is new information. He shrugs. "I started having them when you said you were going to Louis. I've been going to therapy ever since."
"Harvey…"
She starts, unsure of what to say; she's always known he was hurting like she was, but he was the one doing it to himself and her attitude certainly couldn't have helped. She doesn't regret the way she acted, because it was something she had needed to do for ages. It had been weird to act selfishly, but it had been needed, especially when she found out she was pregnant.
But to know what it did to him physically… it hurt her too.
"I choose to see it as a good thing nowadays," he shrugs. "It was a wake-up call."
She reaches for his free hand and caresses it softly.
"Hey, maybe it was preparing me for her," he jokes. "So thank you. She's perfect, and you were amazing. This past week, you were awesome."
He presses a kiss on the back of her hand. She knows better than to make a big deal out of this — she knows him and she's grateful she's shared this with her, but she knows he won't want her to make a fuss, especially now that it's been resolved. She remembers how anxious he had been last week when she told him about the contractions, and thinks of how badly it must have been to feel that way — to feel even worse than that — and have no support.
They've come such a long way in these past months.
"You were awesome too," she says honestly. "She loves you so much."
Harvey lets out a chuckle.
"I think you're her favorite, though," he confesses.
"I told you, I'm her milkmaid," Donna jokes. "You're her daddy. Whenever you speak, she's so interested. She follows your voice, she's so enthralled by you."
"I can be pretty enthralling," he agrees.
Donna laughs, pulling him close softly so they can kiss.
"Yes, you can," she whispers softly. "She loves you. She takes after me."
Mia gurgles in agreement, and her attention is taken by the baby they made together once more, marveling in how perfect and cute she is in all of her seven days of life. Through the trials they had, both figurative and literal, it's fitting that something so pure and full of love came out of it.
In truth, Mia has made Donna love Harvey even more.
His life feels so surreal sometimes. It's not just because of the baby, it's the newness of being with Donna and feeling the happiness of sharing his life with her. They've always shared so much, but not so deeply. They share a child now, but it's bigger than that. It's about trust and companionship and love and he's not afraid of the word anymore. Not now that he's told her exactly how he feels about her.
But today feels especially surreal, seeing his mom meet Mia. A year ago, he never would have guessed this could have happened — that he would have the balls to love Donna openly, be a father, and on top of it all rekindle his relationship with his mom. He can't help but grin at the sight of her holding his baby girl, the way Mia is comfortable and happy in her grandmother's arms. It turns out she's a grandmother's girl alright after all — but he thinks it helps that she's just eaten and is feeling very sleepy.
Lily took it upon herself to lure Mia to sleep after they had their lunch — Mia's first time at Le Bernardin because he and Donna agreed the baby should get used to the places they liked quickly. It was her first outing and all in all it was a good one, without any issues. She spent the entire time sleeping in her stroller; he joked that she'd like Del Posto better, but they'll have to wait out on that one.
Afterwards, they went back to Donna's apartment since Mia was getting fussy, and after nursing and being burped, she's ready for playtime, or perhaps another nap. He thinks being outside tired her out.
"She's so precious," his mom says as she rocks the baby. "She looks like you, Donna."
"She looks like Harvey when she cries," Donna jokes.
He gives her a playful look, and both his mom and Donna laugh. Donna rests her head against his arm for a moment, on the back of the couch, and gives him a tired smile. He winks at her. His mom is too mesmerized by the baby to notice anything else.
"Hey, you should rest," he suggests to Donna. "I think between me and Mom, we got her."
"Really, Donna," his mom adds. "Don't mind me. And I know the rules, when she sleeps you sleep."
"She's not asleep yet," Donna protests. Harvey gives her a pointed look. "But she will be."
"You know she will," he says.
She nods. "Alright. You know where to find me."
His mom snickers and Harvey gently squeezes Donna's hand as she stands up, watching her until she reaches the hallway and winking at her when she looks at him over her shoulder. Once she's out of his view, he turns his attention towards his mom, who is watching him with amused eyes. He feels his cheeks blush a little.
"She's lovely," his mom comments.
"Yeah, she is," Harvey agrees, looking at Mia. She's being lured to sleep by her grandmother and seems to be enjoying it.
"I meant Donna," his mom chuckles, "but it works for Mia too."
He snickers. "Yeah, it does."
Silence settles as his mom rocks his daughter to sleep and he watches with tired but content eyes how Mia closes her fist around his mom's little finger, the way her eyelids flutter and how she sighs softly. His mom looks happy too — Marcus gave her grandchildren far earlier than he did, but he guesses it feels a little different because Mia helped almost as much as Donna (and therapy) did in bringing them together. Never in his dreams, he thought this would happen — that the silence between them would be comfortable and not laced with regret.
It's even more surreal with Donna napping a few feet from them and the baby in his mother's arms being his.
Life changes. This time it's for the best.
"Harvey?" His mom asks, effectively pulling him from his thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"Can you get something from my bag?" She says. "I brought you something."
Harvey rolls his eyes and stands up. "Mom, I think the presents and the painting were more than enough."
It's a wonder his mom even finished the painting in time for the birth, but he suspected she and Donna might have been plotting this sooner. He likes the painting — loves it, even, especially after losing the previous one. This one is also of a doll but featured a rabbit. He thinks it'll fit Mia's room very well. Donna's excitement upon seeing it was certainly amusing, and he couldn't help but feel a little emotional at the whole thing.
As for the presents, well, they had said Mia wouldn't need clothes for her first year of life, probably, and his mom brought many toys instead. Blocks and plush toys and books — Mia would certainly not be bored in the future. He thinks his mom and Clara have bought her more toys than he and Donna bought her clothes.
"Those were for Mia," his mom retorts. "This one's for you. It's an envelope in the front pocket."
He spots his mom's bag on the settee and checks the front pocket. Surely, there's an envelope there. He frowns but takes it, arching his eyebrows towards her as he goes back to his spot on the couch. The envelope doesn't seem to have much weight to it; he can't imagine his mom gifting with a card or much less money. They both know he's not in need of any.
"Go on," his mom urges him, not looking away from her granddaughter. "Open it."
He does as he's told, expecting a paper inside, but as he turns the envelope upside down, what falls on his hand isn't a letter or a card. It's a ring — a ring he hasn't seen in decades, a ring he never even thought about. He gapes at it, unsure of what to make of it at first, and then looks up at his mom. This time she's looking at him with a soft smile on her face.
"After your visit, I was afraid I'd miss my chance," his mom says, "but from what I gather, you haven't asked Donna any important question yet."
"I tried," he jokes.
"That thing you tried to pull in the hospital doesn't count," Lily retorts. He's surprised she knows about that. "Donna told me. We talk, you know."
Harvey chuckles softly. "I know."
"Your grandmother would have loved her," his mom continues. "Just like I do."
He nods, looking at the ring. He feels a wave of emotion run through him. His mom is putting Mia on her baby carrier, right next to the couch. "I thought this was given to Marcus. I had no idea you still had it."
"I saved for my eldest," his mom tells him, sitting next to him. Mia is peacefully asleep beside them. "I'm glad I did because I think it fits Donna."
He nods. "It does," he looks from the ring to his mom. "She's the one, Mom. She's always been."
His mom smiles. "We've all known that, Harvey. I'm glad you finally do."
He chuckles and moves to hug her, letting the reality of it all sink in. He's been thinking of making things official for a few weeks now, before Mia's birth, even; but things kept happening and they were always so busy and with the baby, time is cut short every day. He knows he will ask her someday soon, though he has no idea how yet, and the first logical step would be to find a ring but he hasn't had time to do that. Donna deserves a special ring — Donna deserves the best ring he could ring, and he hadn't been sure he would find it in New York.
Turns out it was in Boston all along.
"Now I just have to figure out the perfect way to ask her," Harvey laughs.
His mom pats his cheek affectionately. "I think whatever way you ask her will be perfect in her eyes."
He grins. "Maybe. But Donna's had a few proposals in her life, I need this to be the best one."
Lily chuckles. "I don't doubt any of that, but I know for a fact it'll be the best one, no matter how you ask."
"Why's that?"
"You're the one who's asking her for real this time around," his mom says simply.
They share a smile.
He knows she's right.
He finds Donna in the shower, letting the warm water run through her. The bathroom is filled with steam and she doesn't see him until he's opening the stall and joining her. To her credit, she doesn't jump at the sight of him, is only surprised.
"Where's Mia?" She asks instantly.
"Asleep in the living room," he replies as she steps away from the water to give him some room. "Mom is reading a book and watching her. I mentioned we haven't spent much time alone and she basically ordered me to leave."
Donna chuckles as he puts some soap on his hands and reaches for her. Her body has changed since pregnancy, since giving birth. He thinks she's beautiful, she always has been and always will be, but he knows she's feeling a little insecure — which is unlike Donna. He starts scrubbing the soap on her hips and then her waist and she sighs, holding him loosely as well.
"No funny business for five more weeks," she reminds him.
Harvey groans. "Don't remind me."
She chuckles. He's mindful of tender areas in her body — breasts are out of question — and he keeps scrubbing the soap slowly on her back until they've fallen into an embrace they can't escape from. Donna relaxes against him and he lets himself relax too. It's the first time they've been alone without the baby and it's weird but feels good too.
The water on his back is soothing and he feels Donna press a kiss against his neck. They've changed so much in the last week, going through this together. It's changed them forever, he realizes, and it's a scary and interesting thought at the same time.
He wants to marry her. More than ever before.
He's crazy about her. He's known all this before but now that he has the ring — and it's safely hidden amongst his shoes — he's sure of it. He wants to marry her. He wants Donna to be his wife.
Marriage had always been a strange concept to him but with Donna… it sounds so simple.
But today is not the right time for it, he knows. She sighs against him and he hopes she feels as relaxed as he does in this steamy but PG-13 shared shower.
"You okay?" He asks, his voice sounding a little rough.
Donna nods against him. "Thanks for this. I've missed you."
Harvey chuckles, bringing her body a little closer. "You see me every day. Naked, even."
Donna laughs and pulls away enough to look at him. "You know what I mean. It's been a while since we did this. The most intimacy we get is when I'm breastfeeding Mia and you watch, and that's not sexual at all."
Harvey grins. "It's still beautiful," he says, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "Just like you are."
Her eyes soften and she kisses him again, more deeply this time, just enough to let him know how much she means it. A few weeks ago this shower could have turned into very funny business for them both, but they can't right now and honestly, Harvey isn't sure if they'd have been up to it. They're both knackered and enjoy time off, even if it's just for an hour.
He helps wash Donna's hair and they get dressed together; it takes another ten minutes for her to blow dry her hair and for him to check on his mom and daughter to make sure Mia is still asleep. Then they hit the bed.
They're awake enough to settle into familiar, comfortable positions, with him spooning Donna. The room is dark enough that he can hear her fall asleep within five minutes and he follows soon afterward.
He wants to marry her and he'll make sure she knows it. Soon.
It's funny how, a year ago, if someone had told her she'd be walking in a park holding hands with Harvey and have their very own baby in a baby carrier attached to her chest, Donna would have accused them of being completely, utterly, absolutely crazy.
And yet that's exactly how they are right now.
Mia seems to be unfazed by the view, only scrunching her eyes when the sunlight reaches her as they walk, but she's otherwise still asleep. It's a little cold and she's all bundled up; Harvey is quietly watching them both, drinking his coffee. Donna opted for some salted caramel hot chocolate — she figures she's earned it after pushing a baby outside her body a few weeks ago.
"What's going on with you?" Donna asks after a moment.
Silence has been comfortable, but she's known Harvey for too long to not know something has been nagging him.
"Just stuff at the firm," he notes simply, sipping on his coffee. "Mike called me earlier when you were doing yoga."
She arches her eyebrows in understanding. She's been meaning to go back to pilates, actually, but she'll do with yoga while Mia is still little and she doesn't feel yet healed from the birth. It's only been two weeks and yoga relaxes her and she thinks it relaxes Mia when she's relaxed as well. She's grateful Harvey has been managing to entertain the baby well.
"Do you want to go back to work already?" Donna asks.
Harvey immediately shakes his head. "On the contrary. I don't think about the firm," he shrugs. "I knew she'd change things, but not this much."
Donna nods. She understands where he's coming from completely — the way this tiny human being has them wrapped around her fingers is astonishing. She had expected it, in a way, but not this much, not so fast.
"Does that surprise you?" Donna asks.
"I think so," Harvey admits. "I just wonder if I'll be ready for the firm at all. They need us."
"I know," she agrees.
"There's more to life than work, apparently," he smirks.
The sun creeps through the clouds and reaches them once more. This time Mia opens her eyes, looking thoroughly annoyed, but snuggles further into Donna's sweater, yawning. Harvey chuckles, his knuckle caressing Mia's cheek as her eyes focus on him. Donna's heart could burst, honestly, at the softness in Harvey's eyes. He's changed so much these past few months, but in these weeks with Mia, she's seeing a side of him she's never seen before. She suspects even he didn't know about it.
"I have a session in two weeks," he says brightly. "When I go back to work. I'll bring it up then."
Donna smiles softly. "That sounds like a good idea. I may need a session for that myself."
Harvey chuckles and they resume walking.
She understands his fears about going back to work, and she doesn't say much because she has doubts herself.
More doubts than she's willing to communicate right now.
Mike and Harvey laugh at the way Mia is scrunching her face at Rachel, clearly annoyed at whatever the woman is doing to her — which, in truth, doesn't seem like much. But Mia is often quick to show exactly how she's feeling in every moment, and she seems settled when Rachel changes sides while holding her.
The women are talking animatedly on the couch, and Rachel is in love with Mia and won't let her go — even if Mia sometimes settles only for Donna. But they've had dinner and talked and the baby seems more used to them now than before. Harvey and Mike are sitting in the dining chairs, talking over beers, and the women must be sharing all sorts of terrifying stories about birth and baby's first month. The sort of thing he's now been a part of.
So he takes a swig of his beer and arches his eyebrow at Mike.
"You thinking about having one of those?" He can't resist asking.
Mike chuckles. "I think we'll take some time before thinking of that," his eyes soften at Rachel holding the baby, though. "But in the future… yeah. We've talked about it."
It's what couples usually do, he realizes. Plan for a baby, prepare for a pregnancy. He and Donna didn't have that — it was thrown at them.
He wouldn't change a thing about it, not really.
"Donna looks great," Mike notes. "Not that I'm surprised."
"Mia treats us well," Harvey says. "We're getting used to the nights yet. But she wakes up a few times and that's exhausting. I think we sleep more nowadays than before, though. Without work."
"You thinking of retiring, old man?" Mike jokes. "Buy a brownstone, get married, having a few more babies?"
Harvey chuckles. "Not that you need to know it, but no. And one thing at a time."
"You saying that about retiring, more babies, the brownstone, or getting married?"
"Retiring," Harvey retorts, "and more babies. That one is a handful, and from what we've seen she's an easy one."
Mike leans forward. "Have you asked her?"
"Mind your business," Harvey whispers. "But no."
"Well, do you know how you'll do it?" Mike asks curiously.
"What part of mind your business don't you understand?"
Mike opens his mouth to reply, but the conversation is cut short when they hear a cry from the couch. He knows that kind of cry and makes a face.
Donna meets his gaze immediately. "Yep, she needs a change. We usually give her a bath around this time."
"Oh, we can do that," Rachel offers. "I mean, I'd love to help."
Donna chuckles and looks from Harvey to her. "You'll dispose the diaper."
Mia is still fussy so Donna takes her and Harvey is glad Rachel follows her out of the room he doesn't have to face a dirty diaper now — possibly the last one of the day. The night is still young, but he's escaped once and that seems okay for now.
Mike is looking at him expectantly though.
"So?"
"I don't know how I'll do it," Harvey confesses. "She's asked me to not do it with Mia so small because we're all vulnerable, apparently. So I was thinking next month."
"Okay," Mike nods. "Wait, so you've asked her?"
"That's not the point," Harvey dismisses. "The point is that it needs to be perfect. The setting, the situation, you know."
"I asked Rachel at home," Mike shrugs. "She was waiting for me with some wine and I knew that was the perfect time."
Harvey makes a face. "That's a pretty lame proposal story."
"No, it's not."
"It kinda is."
"It isn't. She loved it."
"She'd say that to you," Harvey notes.
Mike's eyes widen. "Did she complain to Donna?"
Harvey laughs. It's too easy to tease Mike and Louis — he may not be missing work, but he's missed the laughs.
Maybe they can invite Louis over sometime soon, too.
"I'm gonna miss these moments," Harvey comments.
Donna laughs at the remark. He's going back to work tomorrow after a little over a month away, Mia is happily being bathed, little hands slapping against the water as Harvey turns her, holding her belly so he can wash her back. The tub is only a few inches full, but it's enough that they're both cautious about it.
"You're so dramatic," she grins.
"You say that because you're staying with her," Harvey retorts.
Mia has gotten her weight back and some more since birth, looking chubbier every day. Donna thinks she's the cutest baby she's ever seen, but she only confides that opinion to Harvey. He wholeheartedly agrees.
"You won't miss seeing her get any more shots," Donna comments, shuddering as she thinks about the shot Mia got at the hospital and the second shot she got just two days ago. It's for her safety, they know, but she was cranky the entire day and Donna still wasn't sure who cried more — herself or Mia. Poor Harvey.
"I'll still go with you next time," he assures her. "I just meant seeing her less. I'm used to her now."
It's a joke but she gets it. Mia has consumed their lives since she was born. Of course it won't always be like this, but she's still small and so reliant on them. She gets what he's feeling, deeply. She can't even bear to think of being away from her for more than a few hours — like three days ago, when she decided it was time to get a mani and Harvey happily sent her her way while he took Mia to the park.
They'll still have their time together with work, but the firm is so consuming that she can't help but be afraid that it will mean babysitters and nannies and daycare for Mia. She doesn't want to be a strange to her own daughter.
Harvey finishes her bath and Donna takes out the baby's towel to dry her — it's a soft material, complete with a hood that has two bear ears on it.
She wraps their little bear in a practiced motion; after a month of daily baths with Harvey they're a well-oiled machine. Mia is content through it all — she loves bath time. She enjoys the warm water and it makes her content and relaxed for the night — she usually has one more feeding and then she'll be asleep within minutes on Donna's chest.
Donna takes her back to the nursery while Harvey cleans up the bathroom. Donna dries Mia slowly, smiling at the gurgles and holding out a one-sided conversation — but it's probably a full one on Mia's little mind, though she lets out an adorable yawn at some point.
"What a day, huh?" Donna asks as she's putting on a diaper on Mia. "We went to the diner, then the park. You vomited over Daddy's shirt because you had too much milk. I'd be tired too."
Mia widens her eyes, her lips pouting as she gurgles, obviously agreeing with her mommy.
"I don't wanna miss any milestones," Harvey sighs as he goes back to the room. "Even vomit ones."
"That wasn't a milestone," Donna gives him a sly look. "And you could lose the vomit. Admit it."
"Fine, I could," he relents. "And maybe I could have lost the umbilical cord thing."
Donna laughs, tickling Mia's belly as the baby squirms and moves her arms excitedly, eyes going from mommy to daddy.
"You freaked out that day," she remembers. "But she's got a cute belly button in the process. Don't you, my little bear? Yes, you do."
She can't resist blowing a raspberry to the baby's belly, and Mia gurgles in response. Harvey is chuckling through it all, and she catches his gaze on the mirror above the changing table. He hands her Mia's romper chosen for tonight and she dresses the baby while Mia coos and Harvey coos back. She gives Mia noisy little kisses on her head and breathes in the nice baby smell before handing her over to Harvey.
He snuggles to her as well, quietly following Donna out of the nursery to their bedroom. She goes into their bathroom to finish her evening routine and hears Harvey talking to the baby himself, keeping her entertained until she will most definitely want her little stomach full. She lets him have this moment, because he knows he will likely be on edge the entire day tomorrow wanting to be with them but having to deal with Louis and Mike and clients.
This time without her as his secretary. That will be an adjustment — one she's very anxious about.
She goes back to the bedroom and leans against the doorway, smiling at the way Harvey is holding Mia in front of him and pressing his forehead to hers. Mia pats his cheeks, a little uncoordinated, legs moving up and down as he holds her. It's a precious sight. It makes her heart ache a little that life outside of their little world of three is still going on and duty calls.
Over the past month, they've managed a routine of sorts. They're still adjusting to Mia and she's adjusting to them but they have reached an agreement, she thinks. They all adapt and have been adapting, and it feels as if things are now normal… only it's about to change once more.
"I'll send you lots of pictures," Donna says, walking to her side of the bed, adjusting the co-sleeper in the meantime. "And I was thinking I could go to the firm and we could have lunch together this week."
"I'd love that," Harvey says softly. "I'll ask whatever temp they send my way to handle it. Hopefully, they won't screw up your color-coded system."
Donna chuckles as he offers her Mia once more, the baby already squirming and grunting her hunger. At this point, they figure out what she wants quickly and she hasn't been a big crier. Donna's grateful for it. It's funny because however hard breastfeeding was at first, it's definitely practical now. She can actually feel a tingle down her breast near the feeding times — it's like her own body is scheduled with Mia's.
"I think I'll ask Gretchen to fill in," Harvey continues, settling against the headboard to watch Mia as she nurses. "I mean, five months will pass by quickly. We have to figure out her daycare, though."
"One day at a time," Donna reminds him, caressing Mia's hand before turning her attention towards Harvey. "First we get used to you being back at work."
Harvey chuckles, pressing his lips against her shoulder and lying down.
"That seems fair," he says tiredly, making himself comfortable, but not before pressing a kiss against Mia's sock-clad feet.
Donna watches as the baby nurses, sighing as she thinks of what life might have ahead for them. Being without Harvey will definitely be an adjustment not only for her but for Mia as well; and him being without her, well…
It was nearly his ruin once.
She doesn't think he's ready to hear that she doesn't want to go back to work at all.
