AN: I hope this finds you well and not going stir crazy in response to the local lockdowns and social distancing. It feels like an empty excuse, but travel, sickness (not the Covid-19 fortunately) and constant changing of work schedules has been a big challenge over the past couple months. Even though I've not been posting, I have been writing, so the chapters should flow more often now. At least 8-10 more to go. Stay healthy and sane and thanks for sticking with me.
Ch. 24
Not having anything more to say to her dad at the moment, she reflected on their conversation as she followed the Bronco back to the cabin. Truth be told, she was happy that her dad slipped up a couple times and said something in that attitude she hated so much. She was beginning to wonder if he had been abducted by aliens and had his brain zapped. It showed the effort he was making and how tight a control he had on his actions to meet her half way and make this work. She glanced over at him and he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. She really wanted this to work with him. Even though she reconciled in her mind that she could do without them, her heart had drawn no such conclusion. A child needs their parents. She always sought her dad's approval though she rarely got it. She wanted to make him proud, but rarely heard those words from him. She loved her dad, her family, faults and all. She didn't like them right now and was mad as hell at them, but she couldn't stop loving them.
"Dad?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think anyone else will come around?"
"I'd like to think so, but I just don't know."
She nodded. It was way too early to ask that question. They don't even know where he is.
"What are you going to do when you get home?"
"What do you mean?"
Her eyes rolled and she huffed out her frustration.
"Jesus! What do you think I mean? Well are you going to unpack your suitcase or take a shower first? What are you going to tell them? About you? About me?"
She didn't want to say all the negative things that were rushing through her head.
"I'm going to sit down with them, Nonna too, and tell them the truth. Tell them where I've been and how you all have treated me with a respect and graciousness I neither earned nor deserved. How I admire you for what you had the courage to do and how I failed to do so as a younger man when I saw a cop do the same things."
Vic did a double take at his words, swerved to the shoulder and slammed on brakes.
"What? What did you just say to me?"
"Walt didn't say anything?"
"No. He probably didn't think it was his place to do so."
"I worked with a cop who did the same things. I never turned him in and neither did anyone else. He ended up getting caught years later, but it was all swept under the rug. Who knows how many innocent people went to jail. Were extorted. Were beaten to within an inch of their life for nothing. I believed in the code and followed it. Never questioned it until my conversation with Walt. He hired you without hesitation knowing what you did. I thought all members of law enforcement believed in the code. It suddenly occurred to me that there would be more. Many more who would hire you. And why shouldn't they? Because you told the truth? I had my belief system turned upside down and after thinking about it, I can't believe I never questioned it before. I'm still trying to reconcile everything."
Vic looked ahead and saw Walt's truck backing up on the shoulder. She waved at him to continue on and pulled out onto the road.
"I really don't know what to say or how to feel about that, Dad."
"I'm going to tell them the truth Vic. Face up to it. Consequences be damned. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up out here with you."
Not expecting those words, Vic turned toward him then looked back at the road.
"You would leave Mom and the boys and your job over this? Over me?"
The thought of this busting up her family never occurred to her, but it already had. However, her being alienated from all of them didn't seem as catastrophic as her mother and father splitting over her.
"Right. Let's table this until we get home. I'm seriously going to lose my shit over here."
Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel and followed Walt's Bronco to their cabin. She had taught herself to compartmentalize, but this was a bit much. Fortunately, they were on the dirt road that led to the cabin. Almost to the safety of Walt's arms.
She stopped midway down the road, unable to go any farther. Tears flooded her eyes as she leaned forward, forehead on the wheel. Her dad's hand was a small comfort to her, but it barely registered. Deep breaths racked her body as she struggled to keep it all in.
—-—
Walt started to go in the cabin until he realized Vic's truck hadn't pulled up. It didn't make sense since she wasn't that far behind him. Glancing up the drive, he saw the truck stopped and jogged in that direction. As he approached, he could see her figure slumped forward on the wheel and broke into a full out run. Skidding to a stop at her door, he pulled it open and took in her heaving chest. He murmured to her as he righted her in the seat and reached over to undo her seat belt. As he gathered her in his arms, he glared over at Victor with some choice words at the tip of his tongue. He held them in and asked him to move the truck down to the house, to which Victor readily agreed.
Vic was still gasping for breath, but not like before. He held her in his arms and walked her down the road to the cabin. He knew she was out of it because she'd never let him carry her like this. Continuing to soothe her with words, his mind tried to convince his fist not to make contact with Victor's face. He had doubts about leaving her alone with her dad, not because he thought she couldn't handle herself. He just wanted to be with her because he knew how deep her wounds were and he wanted to be there to support her and comfort her.
He was getting winded as he finally reached the cabin and she stirred in his arms.
"Hey, you can put me down now. You sound all tuckered out, Caveman."
Her lopsided grin told him her words were meant in jest. He set her on her feet and stopped her from going inside. Grasping both her hands, he searched her eyes.
"You scared me, Vic. Seeing you slumped over on the steering wheel of the truck kind of freaked me out."
His hands left hers and trailed up her arms to her shoulders. She shrugged an unspoken apology.
"Should we skip the ride?"
"Maybe delay it for a few minutes. I need a quick breather."
He gathered her in his arms for a moment, then kissed her on the forehead.
"I'll be in shortly."
He saw the look Vic was giving him and knew exactly what it meant.
"I'll behave. For now."
He grinned as she nodded and entered the cabin. He turned toward the truck as Victor was getting out. He was glad that Victor gave him a moment to calm Vic down. That did nothing to stave off his curiosity or his simmering anger. He turned to Victor, who was walking toward him. Walt counted down from 10 in his head to try and curtail his anger and his fist. He would do what he always did, hit him with the silent treatment.
"Walt."
Walt just gave him the stare down, really trying to keep a lid on his temper.
"I know you're upset. Working backwards from the driveway, she was upset when I insinuated that this could end up with her mom and I divorced, if things don't change. I said that I could end up out here with her and she just lost it. I can only assume because she didn't want to be the reason for her parents to split up."
Walt nodded and relaxed a bit. He was put off by the snide remark when he checked up on Vic and her father.
"Ok. What about these snide remarks she was talking about?"
"It's easier to be on my best behavior when it's not just me and her. I slipped into the way I used to talk to her. Not the whole time, but some slipped out."
He grunted and invited him in. Offered a drink, which was refused and left him to wait while he checked up on Vic. Tapping on the door, he quietly called her name as he entered.
"Vic? You ok?"
She let out a shaky breath and sniffled.
"I'm so fucking tired of crying."
Sitting next to her on the edge of the bed, he wrapped his arm around her.
"I know. Wanna give me a quick rundown so I can decide if I'm going to kick his ass and run him out of town."
He looked at her with a grin and she grinned back.
"No need. He's been really good. He made a few snide remarks today, but I was kind of relieved when he did. Otherwise I would've had to consider whether he had been abducted by aliens or something. At least I know what kind of effort he's making to curtail those remarks."
Nodding, he hummed an affirmation.
"Makes sense, I suppose. Knowing the man you know is still underneath the model behavior."
His eyes followed her as she stood up and walked into his embrace.
"Let's go riding. I'll explain more as we go or better yet he can."
He tightened his hold on her briefly, then followed her out to the living room. Victor was standing at the door looking out over the property.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you Victoria. I really hadn't thought ahead. It was just a thought that crossed my mind. I certainly don't want this to end with more division of the family. And I don't want to have to choose between my children."
"You shouldn't have to. I kinda get why you, and that's a collective you meaning the 6 of you, would do this at first. Like a hazing. But why it's gone on this long is beyond me. You taught us that family is everything, blood is thicker than water and that you protect your family at any cost. I guess that meant everyone but me."
Walt walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her as Vic's voice broke on her last words. She probably meant them to be sarcastic, but for her it must've felt like truth. Her dad turned at her words, the shock evident on his face.
"I know it seems that way, but that's not how I meant it."
Vic's frame tensed in his arms and he let out a sigh. Not the right words to say.
"Isn't it though? You and the boys always stuck together. How many times did you exclude me from what they were doing? Sports. Scouts. Ball games. Movies. You were always taking them on father son outings. Every once in a while you'd let me tag along after mom nagged you into submission, but the boys made it clear that I shouldn't be there. You didn't show up to my games, my school events, or anything to do with a father daughter outing. I know you went to a lot of the boys' stuff because there were pictures of you and them. School plays. T-ball. Soccer. Halloween. Tons of pictures of you and them together. You know what dad? Go home and find pictures of us together doing those kinds of things when I was young. Better yet find any picture where we are in the same picture without the boys or mom. There's tons of them with you and each one of the boys growing up. Find them and send them to me and then I'll believe you meant me too."
"Excuse me. I need some air."
Walt watched Victor leave as Vic broke down again in his arms. He pulled her back to the couch and settled her in his lap as she cried. He couldn't believe a family could be together and so dysfunctional at the same time. He was beginning to regret arranging this after all. It seemed Vic was being put through the wringer and it wasn't helping.
"I'm so sorry, Vic. Maybe this thing with your father wasn't a good idea after all."
She heaved a sigh and wiped her face with the inside of her t-shirt.
"Don't apologize, Walt. None of this with them was your fault. Maybe if I told you the extent of my family history you would've made a different decision, but that's on me. Truth be told I blocked a lot of it from my mind. With him being here it has brought some of the details back to the light. He has to own up to them, not you. You're my safe haven in all this. My shelter. The mention of your name puts a smile on my face. Your scent makes the tension ease. Your arms make everything else go away. I know this is a lot to ask of you. More than you bargained for. I can do this with you, if you're willing. But I won't do it without you."
He kissed her forehead.
"I'm here, Vic. Whatever you need. Wherever you are. However you're feeling. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know. You've got my back and I've got yours. Let's go on this ride. That way I don't have to talk anymore. You can entertain him for a while."
His laugh rumbled low in his chest and he rolled his eyes.
"Yes, dear!"
She got up and went back to the room, he assumed to wash up and change her shirt.
He grabbed a few bottles of water and the sandwiches he made earlier for the ride. Together they met up with Victor on the porch.
"I'll go get the horses. You can meet me at the gate."
—-—
Vic walked in the general direction of the gate, waving for her father to follow. Not sure what to say after her outburst, she figured she would just pull a Walt and not say anything.
"Vic! Wait up!"
She stopped upon hearing her dad's voice and waited without turning toward him. She was going to start walking again when she felt his hand grasp her elbow. His hand fell when she turned toward him.
"Victoria, if you want me to leave I will. I can see this is incredibly emotional and difficult for you. I knew things would be rough at times for us, but I didn't anticipate it being this bad. I love you, Victoria. I hate to see you in pain. In tears. Angry because of what I did and what I said."
"You're right. It is hard and it hurts. But I have Walt, and together he and I will get through this. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to go back home to them."
"I can stay a bit longer, but I can't stay indefinitely right now. I'd have to make arrangements. Why don't you want me to go home?"
Damn. She didn't want to say that last part out loud. She mumbled her answer under her breath.
"Vic?"
"I'm afraid I'll lose you. For good."
He held out his arms and she went into his embrace.
"You won't. For now, let's put all the shit aside and enjoy these wonderful animals. It's been ages since I've ridden. I'm surprised you'll even get on one."
"It took bribery, cajoling, arm twisting and a great amount of alcohol."
She grinned at her dad and he laughed.
"You were always so afraid, but too stubborn to admit it when I asked you if you wanted to go for a ride. You cried the whole time. I felt so bad for you, but so proud that you did it anyway."
"You never told me that. The only reason I went is I wanted to be with you more than I was scared of the stupid horse."
"Well, I'm saying it now. I was proud of you then and I'm proud of you now. And not just because you've learned to ride. I'm proud of you as an officer of the law, as a woman, and as my daughter."
"Thanks Dad."
She reached out to take the reins of her horse and led her to the crate so she could get on easier. It took a while for her and the horse to trust one another. She was scared which made the horse jittery. With time, patience and coaching from both Walt and Henry, she was able to learn to trust the horse. Perched atop the saddle, she watched as Walt and her dad mounted their horses. They set off to their favorite area to watch the day go by.
—
Walt watched as Vic trotted ahead of them, knowing she needed a breather.
"Victor, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure."
"How did you let all this happen? I just can't understand it. If half of what she said is true… How could you do that to her? Your little girl."
"I didn't realize it. By the time she came along, things were different. My job. My spare time. My marriage. My health. My age. My patience. Everyone always said that having a girl was different. After having 4 boys, I assumed I'd have another. So did my wife. We didn't pick out girl's names or buy clothes for a girl. We just stuck with what we had from the last boy. The nursery had a sports theme and all the clothes and blankets were for boys. It pretty much stayed that way until she hit elementary school when she saw other girls. They made fun of her, but I thought it would toughen her up if she dealt with it head on instead of changing how she dressed. When she refused to wear the clothes and went to school in pajamas, my wife finally took her to buy what she wanted after a blow out with me."
Conflicted emotions swirled within him as he listened to this piss poor excuse for a father recount how he treated his only daughter. He was absolutely livid and incredibly sad to hear this man's account for his actions.
"I don't think you better say any more about that. I don't think I can handle it right now."
"I know it sounds bad, but she grew up tough as nails."
The audacity of this man.
"You know, Vic hurt her hand a while back. I kissed her hurt hand gently as a gesture of comfort to her and it made her cry! Why do you think that was?"
He watched her father think over his question. He had a puzzled look on his face and took some time before he answered.
"It must've hurt. Hand injuries are often more sensitive."
"That's what I thought too. But no. She said she wasn't used to tenderness from a man. That no man, you and your family included, had ever been that gentle with her. Can you imagine a little girl who never had her daddy kiss a boo-boo or cuddle her? A daddy who wouldn't scoop her up after she fell and comfort her until the hurt went away? Were you really that callous? You know what? Don't answer that. All of you had better get your acts together because if any of you treat her the way you have in the past there will be a reckoning. And I'm not just talking about what's happened since she turned in the dirty cop. I'm talking about all of it. One last thing. I'm far from a perfect father. I've made many mistakes, but I will never regret loving Cady for exactly who she is. I'm going to check on Vic."
He clicked his tongue and nudged the horse to a run to catch up with Vic who had wandered far enough ahead to be out of hearing distance. When he saw the look on her face shift, he knew he probably looked like a thunderstorm on horseback.
"I'm pretty sure I said entertain him. You know. With funny stories about Lucian or Bob or even Omar. What on earth did he say?"
Walt reverted to his habits of stammering and rubbing his hair down.
"I, uh. I asked him a question. It kind of spun out from there."
She guided her horse closer to him and reached out her hand.
"I'll make it up to you later. You deserve it, if only for keeping your comments and fists to yourself."
She snickered and he couldn't help the grin on his face.
"I do."
Now they both laughed and waited for her dad to catch up. Once he did, they setup a makeshift picnic with a large blanket on the ground beneath a tree, the sandwiches he brought and the bottles of water.
"I can see why you two love it out here. It's really beautiful. Peaceful."
"It is. It took a while for me to appreciate it, but once I did I found that I was no longer homesick for anything but family and pizza. City life no longer seemed so attractive."
Her words made Walt smile. So much of her first year here was spent grousing about how much she hated it here. He honestly thought she'd hightail it out of here once Sean was no longer in the picture. He was never so happy to be wrong.
The rest of their day passed without further incident. Once they returned to the cabin, he and Vic loaded up his luggage and took Victor to the airport. They all got out of the truck.
"Dad?"
"What is it Victoria?"
"I just want to say thanks. For coming here. You didn't have to and I know that. I'm sorry I got a little melodramatic at times. Even if nothing else comes of this, it means the world to me that you tried."
She stepped into her dad's embrace one last time as he observed father and daughter. Despite all the turmoil, in the end it seemed to help more than it hindered. They broke apart and Vic clutched my hand in hers.
"Walt, I can't thank you enough for what you've done. You, Henry and Cady have been gracious and welcoming under less than ideal circumstances. I can see the love you have for my daughter and the love she has for you. You both have my blessing, such as it is. I will be back soon, to spend more time with you and I will keep you both apprised of my progress with the rest of the family. Let me know if you want to continue the arrangement as is, or if you and Vic are comfortable with me talking directly to her. Whatever you both wish is fine with me."
Walt let go of Vic's hand to shake Victor's. While he had conflicting emotions concerning her father, he can't help but respect him for the effort he is making for Vic.
"Have a safe flight Victor and let us know when you get home."
"I love you, Dad."
"Love you too, Victoria. Take care of one another."
Walt felt Vic sidle up to him and put his arm around her as they walked back to the truck. As he headed for the cabin, he glanced at her staring out the window.
"You ok, Vic."
"Yeah. It was tough and raw and emotional, but it was also nice to have him here. Treating me as an adult. Treating me with respect. Having a conversation with me rather than ranting about my latest bad decision. I've always wanted to please him and when it was apparent that I couldn't do that, I did the opposite. I had to make a conscious effort in high school to at least keep my grades up, which wasn't difficult, and keep out of major trouble, which was incredibly difficult, so I could join the academy. I wanted nothing more than to be a cop, but not because of my family. Our middle school had a detective come in and talk for an assembly. I didn't think much of it until I saw the detective was female. I always thought it was out of reach for me to be anything but a beat cop. A glorified meter maid. But this woman was a detective. Decorated and respected in her field. She had stories about cases she was asked to consult on and harrowing close calls in the line of duty. I finally saw that I could be more than what my family thought I could be. That's when I got serious about everything. No one in my family seemed to care, but I had a goal and it was my way out of the Moretti shadow."
He took her hand in his after tugging on her sleeve to make his wish known.
"Vic? I want to ask you something, but I don't want to get you upset."
"Ok. Should I be worried?"
"No. It's just an idea. You can do as you please. Just know that it is out of love, not judgement or criticism."
"Hit me with it then."
"I've observed you and your dad's interactions this weekend. I've observed him and spoken to him and so has Henry. Many things about your childhood came to light that indicate you had to deal with more challenges and negativity than most kids. It was apparent by both your words and actions that those wounds were deep and damaging. Some hidden or buried and others at the forefront. I tried to help as best I could, but I'm thinking it's a little beyond my skills as a man. As your partner. As your fiancé."
"Are you saying I'm a head case?"
"Not at all, Vic. I'm saying you have persevered through tremendous difficulty and with everything that's happened with the fallout from your turning in the cop, it may help to have someone who is objective put things into perspective for you and for us."
"Us? Like you and me both."
"If you want that. Henry's wise and listens well, but he isn't objective anymore, I'm afraid."
"I'll think about it. I appreciate the way you presented it. Even without the heads' up, you made me feel as if it would be my decision and that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of."
"If you want, I know a guy from previous stints where I was made to go for evaluations in the past. He isn't your average shrink."
"Thanks."
TBC
