The Ultimate Detective and The Ultimate Hope Gaiden: How I Met Your Mother (And How I Met Your Father)
Bonding Arc
Chapter Six: Hiro the Blackened? Kirisaba to the Rescue!
Present Day
"So why was Uncle Hiro disliked in school?"
"Well Kiki, there were a lot of reasons; he never seemed to take anything seriously, he told bogus fortunes, and he was something of a cheapskate in his youth. All of these things made him off-putting. But what really made him universally disliked back then was what he almost did to your father."
"What did he do to Daddy, Mommy? Was it bad?"
Nodding, Kyoko continued "You see, it all started on the Tuesday after the incident with your Aunt Jill. We had just finished lunch when your father told me…"
XXX
May 20, 2014
"You're meeting up with Hagakure-kun?"
Nodding, Makoto replied "Yeah, he said that there was something important he wanted to ask me, but that it had to stay private, so I agreed to meet him after lunch."
Sure enough, the Ultimate Clairvoyant was absent from the Dining Hall, evidenced by the empty seat at the long table in the center of the room. Makoto wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up, gathering his dishes and walked to the kitchen to deposit them in the sink before walking back to the small table he and Kyoko shared.
"Well, I'm gonna try to get there early. I'll see you later, Kyoko."
Nodding in acceptance, Kyoko watched as Makoto left the room, a chill of dread almost making her shiver as he disappeared from sight.
…I don't know why…but I've got a bad feeling about this…
XXX
Over an hour had passed, and Makoto had yet to return. Growing worried, Kyoko felt that tingle of dread creep up her spine as she walked over to Makoto's dorm. She rapped on his door with her fist, but after a few seconds, no answer. Biting her lip, she rang his doorbell, only for there to be no answer.
"Makoto? Makoto?"
Even after calling his name, the Ultimate Lucky Student didn't even give a hint that he was there.
What's going on? Surely talking with Hagakure-kun shouldn't take this long…where could he be?
It was then that out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hiro pacing down the hall, an anxious and pensive expression on his usually carefree face.
Frowning, she thought That's weird…what's wrong with him? And why isn't Makoto with him?
Suddenly becoming suspicious, she decided to investigate; strolling over, she called out to him "Hagakure-kun."
Spinning around in a panic, Hagakure gave an uneasy smile, chuckling as he replied "Oh, Kirigiri-chi. Is there uh…something I can help you with?"
Taking note of his unusually nervous demeanor, Kyoko asked "Do you know where Makoto is?"
Freezing for a split second, Hiro laughed "Oh, Makoto? I uh…I haven't seen him…for serious."
Her eyes narrowing, Kyoko reminded him "But he said he was going to meet with you after lunch."
"Oh…uh…right…" Hiro's eyes darted back and forth like a cornered animal as he denied "Well, yeah…we met up…but I haven't seen him since…I don't know where he is…for serious."
…He's lying…
As a Detective, Kyoko was well-versed in spotting liars, and Hiro gave all the obvious tells of a fib.
"Yasuhiro Hagakure…" she growled "Don't lie to me. I know that you know where Makoto is. So, where is he?"
One crack. Then another. One by one, they started to form in his resolve, until Hiro fell to his knees, crying and hugging her legs as he begged "Please! You've gotta save the little guy! I'll do anything!"
…So he is in danger. Dammit, I should have stopped him from going! Pushing her guilty emotions to the side for now, she pressed "Calm yourself, Hagakure-kun. Now, what do you mean? Is Makoto in danger?"
Letting go of her legs and standing up, Hiro babbled "I'm in huge debt to the Yakuza, and to save my own life I made a deal with them that I'd get them an organ they can sell on the black market. But I love my organs! I don't wanna give 'em to someone else! So I…"
"…You tricked Makoto into meeting up with the Yakuza in your place…" Kyoko deadpanned, seeing Hiro nod meekly as she reflected on the amount of blind trust one would have to have in order to fall for such a scheme. …Yep, Makoto is the only one in our class who's trusting enough to fall for it.
Kyoko felt a strange mixture of shock, anger, and pity swirling in her, but lost the opportunity to express it when Hiro's cried "Please! You've gotta go bail him out! He's the only friend I've got in this place! For serious! I don't want the little guy's blood on my hands!"
Swallowing her emotions, she reasoned I can deal with Hagakure later. Makoto's in danger; he needs help now. Taking a deep breath, she urged "Hagakure, where is Makoto?"
"There's a warehouse behind the 7-11 near campus. That's where I told Makoto to go, so he's probably there."
Nodding, she told him "We'll continue this discussion later."
Ignoring his "THANK YOU!", she walked away to plan her next course of action.
I have no idea how many Yakuza are in that warehouse, or how well-armed they might be. Martial arts may not cut it this time; I'll need someone with actual weapons expertise. Let's see…maybe Leon, he's good with a bat…no, playing baseball is different from using one in a fight. Maybe Mondo…but if any of the Yakuza are girls, then we'd have a problem.
It was then that Kyoko looked up at where she had stopped; staring her in the face was the only door with two nameplates. The one on top read "Enoshima", while the one below it read "Ikusaba".
Of course, Ikusaba-san is the Ultimate Soldier, so… Kyoko felt the tingle of dread down her spine again as she remembered the bad feeling she had about the twins, only for her to shake the thought away as she resolved That's not important now; Makoto needs help immediately, and she's our best option. I'll have to deal with the consequences later. Besides…
Kyoko flashed back to their first day of class, where she defended Makoto in the face of Taka's accusations of tardiness.
There's no question that she values Makoto's friendship, so there's no way she'd say no to saving him.
Her path chosen, she rang the doorbell and waited for a few seconds only for Junko to slam the door open, her eyebrows raised in surprise before the Ultimate Fashionista grinned.
"Oh, hey, Kiri!" She greeted in a boisterous, sing-song voice. "What are you doing here? Did you need any fashion tips or something? Wearing the same outfit day in and day out must get awful boring!"
Rolling her eyes, Kyoko greeted "Hello, Enoshima-san. Is your sister available?"
"…Well, that's disappointing. You're telling me that you wanna spend your day with useless ol' Muku? Well, to each their own." Leaving Kyooko's line of sight, Junko called "Hey Mukuu! I don't know why, but Kirigiri-san's here looking for you!"
It wasn't long before Kyoko found herself face-to-face with Mukuro Ikusaba, a surprised look on her face.
"…Hello, Kirigiri-san. Was there something you needed?"
Nodding, Kyoko replied "I'm in need of your assistance, Ikusaba-san. Makoto's in danger…"
That was all she could get out before Mukuro walked away and out of sight. Taking her leave as a refusal, Kyoko sighed and turned around.
…Well, that didn't go according to plan at all. I guess Sakura's going to be my best bet…
Before her thought could finish, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, her eyes widened as she took in the sight of Mukuro; the Ultimate Soldier had a serrated dagger sheathed at her waist, twin katanas strapped to her back in an X-shape, and cradled in her hands was an assault rifle. Not to mention the multitude of extra bullet magazines attached to her belt.
A steeled expression on her face, Mukuro asked with pure determination in her voice "Where is he?"
XXX
…How can one person be allowed to have so many weapons of destruction in their bedroom. It might be wise to have a word with the Headmaster about the school's weapons policy…after we get Makoto out of there…
Mukuro's access to firearms left Kyoko extremely unnerved, and only furthered her need for caution around the Ultimate Soldier, but for the moment she was grateful that such an advantage was currently on her side.
Finally approaching the warehouse, Kyoko looked around, her eyes settling on an open window. Placing her finger to her lips and gesturing towards the opening, she watched Mukuro nod and follow her, climbing in silently and creeping behind some crates, out of view of the Yakuza. Kyoko looked out from their hiding place to see a group of Yakuza in black suits, some armed with simple pistols while others were unarmed.
Her gaze settled on Makoto, who was currently tied to a wooden chair with rope, struggling to get out as one of the unarmed Yakuza approached him with a scalpel, warning him "Stop your struggling, kid. Hagakure said we could have your organs to give to the boss, so we're just gonna take a kidney and we'll stitch you up so you can go on your merry way."
"But…but I didn't even consent! Please, don't take my organs!"
"Sorry, kid. Doesn't matter whether you consented or not. This is the arrangement Hagakure made so he could pay off the debt he owes to Fuyuhiko."
Fuyuhiko? The Ultimate Yakuza, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu?
As a Detective, Kyoko was all too familiar with the name Kuzuryuu. Several murders she had to investigate had the Kuzuryuu handiwork all over them. To her great annoyance, the chief had dropped every case that involved the Kuzuryuu clan, citing the extreme risk to their officers that came with crossing the infamous crime syndicate. Add in the fact that one of them was her upperclassman, and the clan was all but untouchable.
Shaking the irritation from her mind, she turned back to Mukuro and whispered "There are a dozen in total. The six on the left are armed with pistols, the five on the right aren't armed, and the one closest to Makoto has a scalpel. Do you have anything in your utility belt that can obscure us so that we can disarm them and knock them out?"
Lifting a forest-green grenade from her person, Mukuro suggested "This smoke grenade should do the trick."
Nodding, Kyoko strategized "Okay. You throw it in the center, then disarm and incapacitate the five with pistols. I'll take down the six unarmed guards, then we'll meet in the center and take the one threatening Makoto together."
Nodding, Mukuro readied her grenade as Kyoko counted from three to zero with her fingers. Once her gloved fist was closed, Mukuro pulled the pin, throwing it in the middle as a cloud of smoke burst from the opening, covering the warehouse in its cloak.
"Come on, kid. Don't be like that" the lead Yakuza said in response to Makoto's whimpering. "Just a few little incisions, then it'll be all over…"
"Hey, what's that?"
"It's a smoke grenade!"
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"
*cough, cough*
"Ow, what the?"
"Agh!"
Wh…what the… Makoto wondered, opening his eyes as the smoke cleared to reveal all of the Yakuza unconscious, the one who was about to stab into Makoto now face-down on the ground, his head currently under the heels of Kyoko and Mukuro. Gaping in shock, Makoto gasped "Kyoko? Mukuro?"
Kyoko nodded while Mukuro wordlessly unsheathed her dagger, walking behind Makoto and severing his binds with a single slash, making the Ultimate Lucky Student breathe a sigh of relief as he rubbed his wrists.
"Holy crap! You guys totally saved my life! But…how did you two know…where to find me?"
Kyoko explained "Hagakure-kun confessed to tricking you into coming here. I told Ikusaba-san and we tracked down this hideout."
"I see…Hiro begged me for my organs on Monday, but I didn't think he'd take things so far after I told him no!"
As much as she wanted to scold him for being so trusting, she let it slide for now, recognizing that they weren't out of the woods yet and sighed "We'll discuss this back on campus. Come on. Take my hand and don't let go." Seeing Makoto obey, she gripped his hand like a lifeline as she ordered "Ikusaba-san, make sure to stay in front of us and keep your assault rifle at the ready, in case any reinforcements arrive."
No sooner had she said that when an angry yell rang "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN HERE?!"
Makoto hid behind Kyoko while Mukuro cocked her rifle at the source of the voice; a short, baby-faced boy in a tailor-made black pinstripe suit, covered with short, blond hair and golden eyes narrowed at the two intruders.
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu…Kyoko and Mukuro realized as they stared down the Kuzuryuu heir and his trio of armed guards.
"I asked you a fucking question. What the fuck are you two doing at my hideout? And with all my men unconscious, no less?"
Before Mukuro could get trigger-happy, Kyoko spoke up, replying "Your men were about to slice into my classmate and confiscate his organs to sell on the black market to satisfy Yasuhiro Hagakure's debts."
"…Wait, what?"
Her eyebrows raised in surprise, Kyoko asked "You mean you didn't know about this?"
Shaking his head, Fuyuhiko denied "Look lady, all I know was that we got a call from Yasuhiro this morning saying he had found a way to repay his debts I passed off the call to one of my subordinates who handles debt collection and he told him the details. I came by to collect the money, but apparently I need to check in with my goons about the details of their operations."
"…You mean…you wouldn't have approved of this?"
A disgusted look on his face, Fuyuhiko ranted "Are you kidding me? Look, it's Kirigiri, right? The Ultimate Detective? I wouldn't expect you to understand my family's business, but being a Yakuza doesn't mean taking whatever we want and killing whoever gets in our way. There's an honor to being a Yakuza. We have our own rules and laws that we obey, and if those rules get broken, then there's a price to pay!"
An honor to being a Yakuza… The thought was baffling to Kyoko, but nonetheless she nodded her head and asked "So, since you wouldn't approve of forcefully taking Makoto's organs to satisfy Hagakure's debt, is he free to go?"
Nodding, Fuyuhiko confirmed "He's never done anything to cross us; if anything this is an embarrassment for the Kuzuryuu clan. And even if I did approve of this, it wouldn't be wise to kill a student of Hope's Peak, and I'd rather not cross the Ultimate Detective and the Ultimate Soldier. The three of you can go, and as an apology I'll even suspend all debt collection against Hagakure until he graduates."
Kyoko nodded, turning to Mukuro who sighed and lowered her rifle, strapping it to her back on top of her katanas.
"And don't worry, I'll give my men a good dressing down once they wake up. Just get the fuck out of here, and don't let me catch you interfering with our operations again!"
With that, Mukuro started to walk forward, eyeing the Yakuza with suspicion until they left the warehouse, Kyoko close behind her dragging a shivering Makoto by the hand, his own gripping her like a lifeline.
XXX
"Yasuhiro Hagakure."
Once they got back to campus, in order to avoid having Hiro's corpse turn up the next day riddled with bullet holes or knives, Kyoko collected the Ultimate Clairvoyant and brought him and Makoto to the Headmaster's office. Mukuro initially wanted to come as well, but relented when Makoto assured her that everything was fine and thanking her for saving him. Barely hiding a blush, the Ultimate Soldier returned to her room while the other three went to recount the tale to Jin.
Sighing, Headmaster Kirigiri pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes which had been glaring at his student with a stern, disapproving glare. Hiro shook with fear, while Kyoko had a similarly disapproving look on her face as Makoto sat awkwardly between them, twiddling his thumbs and remaining quiet.
"Do you dispute anything in Kyoko's testimony?"
Hanging his head, Hiro admitted "No, Headmaster."
Glaring at Hiro once more, Jin scolded "I trust you realize just how serious this matter is? You tricked Makoto Naegi into almost donating his organs to the Yakuza against his will. If you had succeeded, that would have likely killed him. Disregarding the obvious moral atrocity of one student causing the death of another, such an incident would have blackened the very reputation of Hope's Peak Academy. I should expel you for what you almost caused."
No! Please, Headmaster! The moment I stop being enrolled at Hope's Peak, I'm dead!
Seeing Hiro whimper, Jin closed his eyes, taking pity on the boy and continuing "However…Kyoko has also said that you were cooperative in her investigation, and that if it weren't for you coming clean, Makoto might never have been found until it was too late. She also said that you expressed remorse for your actions." Jin turned his gaze towards Makoto, softening his eyes and addressing "Makoto."
Jumping in his seat, Makoto's back stiffened as he stammered "Y…yes Headmaster Kirigiri?"
Giving Makoto an easygoing smile, Jin told him "Since you're the victim in this case, I'll leave his fate in your hands. Should Yasuhiro face punishment for his actions, or do you think he's learned his lesson?"
Hiro froze in his seat, realizing Oh no! Why on earth would he let me stay after what I almost did to him? I mean…even Makoto's kindness must have limits! …Well, it was a short life…
Taking a deep breath, Makoto turned his head to face the Ultimate Clairvoyant and told him "Hiro…you tried to get me to give up my organs to pay for your debt, and when I refused, you sent me to be taken hostage by the Kuzuryuu clan. I've never been more scared in my life, and if it weren't for Kyoko and Mukuro, I'd probably be dead in a ditch right now."
Sighing, Hiro interrupted "I get it, alright? You're mad at me, you hate me, and you want me gone. So go ahead, roast me, boil me, just throw me to the sharks and get it over with."
"…I don't hate you, Hiro."
Hiro gaped, turning to see a smiling Makoto as he continued "I mean…yeah, I'm not happy with what you did, but you're still my friend, Hiro. And friends forgive each other for their mistakes."
…This can't be happening! This has to be a dream!
But no matter how many times, Hiro discreetly pinched himself, the scene didn't change, assuring him that this was reality.
"So, I forgive you, and based on what Kyoko said, I think you've already learned your lesson. Expelling you would be…a touch cruel, I think…"
"Ma…Makoto!"
As Hiro started to cry at his unexpected good fortune, Jin sighed and decided "Well, Makoto has spoken. You will not be punished; just make sure not to do it again. Now, you three should go; it's late and I doubt you three have had dinner yet, so I would encourage you to get some dinner at the Dining Hall."
Nodding the three left the Headmaster's office, a crying and cheering Hiro racing out of there, followed by Makoto and Kyoko.
XXX
"I should be surprised that you let him off easy…but honestly, this fits your personality to a tee."
Chuckling nervously as they sat at their usual table, Makoto asked "Am I really that easy to read?"
"Like I said before, you're foolishly open…emphasis on foolish. I just hope you realize now the costs of being too trusting."
Suddenly becoming serious, Makoto reflected "I'll admit, I need to watch myself more around him. But, Hiro's not really that bad of a guy when you get to know him. He's really easygoing, and if he wouldn't charge such outrageous prices for them, his fortunes would make for some harmless entertainment that can actually make you laugh."
"So you're saying he has a future as a clown…"
…I mean, that's not wrong, but it sounds kind of harsh, doesn't it?
Sighing, Kyoko acquiesced "It seems that you've already decided to continue hanging out with him…so I guess I can try to befriend him too…" If only to keep you out of trouble.
Smiling, Makoto remarked "I'm glad. By the way, you and Mukuro must be getting along well if you decided to ask her for help."
"…I needed someone who could handle a potential firefight, and she was the best candidate. That being said…I can't deny that we're…similar in some respects. I'll concede that we could at least tolerate each other's presence if we were trapped in a room together."
Nodding his acceptance, Makoto sipped his water, with Kyoko going back to drinking her coffee.
Hiro and Mukuro… Kyoko reflected on the day's events, as well as her two classmates. The former is a cheapskate who needs to be scrutinized with a close eye. The other…despite my intuition, she's proven to be dependable. Perhaps it would be worth it to bond with the both of them…
XXX
Present Day
"I can't believe Uncle Hiro did that to you, Daddy! How could he sell you out like that?"
Chuckling nervously, he assured her "Kiki, we were all different people in high school than we are now. Uncle Hiro has changed, and he's no longer a cheapskate. For all of your mother's warnings about his fortunes, he's become an honest businessman and teacher. Not to mention he and Aunt Toko have chosen to have a child together, so believe me, he's become a lot more responsible since that incident."
Looking to her mother, Kiki asked "Is that true, Mommy?"
Reluctantly, Kyoko nodded, assuring her daughter "He's changed for the better, Kiki. Hiro is now one of our most trusted friends, a man that we're proud to call a brother, and one you should be proud to call your Uncle."
Nodding, Kiki accepted "Okay, Mommy. Okay, Daddy."
Ruffling her hair, Makoto said "Alright, Kiki; it's bedtime."
After tucking their daughter in and kissing her good night, Makoto and Kyoko crept out of her room, closing the door behind them and retiring to their own room for the evening.
