A/N: Thank you to my amazing beta JayHawkWrites, who took my rambling's and helped make them make sense. Thank you for the reviews, the kudos, and the follow's I have gotten on this and my other stories. You have no idea how much it helps.

Chapter 21 On Hold

Blaine lost track of how long he stood outside his apartment door, wanting to walk in and see Kurt, not wanting to at the same time. He kept wondering what had caused Kurt to behave the way he had, but also not wanting to know, afraid that it might be the end. What happened had come out of nowhere as far as Blaine had known. Everything had been ok and then it was all falling apart. If he was honest with himself, what happened with Kurt had shocked him more than walking in and finding Travis in bed with someone else.

Ali placed her hand on his cheek and whispered, "Daddy," was what finally had him moving. Blaine reached in his pocket, pulled out his keys, and unlocked the door. No matter what happened he and Ali wouldn't be staying at the motel tonight. They would be at home with their family. He would sleep in the guest room, or Kurt could, until they got everything worked out. Either they would fix their relationship, or it would end. He was hoping for the first option.

Blaine opened the front door and the first thing he heard was the unmistakable sound of crying. Walking into the living room, he saw Kurt on the couch crying, clutching a crying Max to his chest. Blaine ran over to him and quickly sat Ali down on her feet before sitting down beside Kurt and pulling Kurt to him.

"Kurt, sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you and Max ok. Are you hurt? Please, sweetheart, talk to me," Blaine whispered with his hand on the back of Kurt's head, holding him to his shoulder.

"I had to leave her Blaine. I had to leave my crying daughter at school. Who does something like that, huh? I couldn't bring her home because I didn't know how you would feel about it. But Blaine, if you had seen her, and I had to leave her like that and it was just..." Kurt whispered back, hiccuping on a sob, before sitting up straight so he could look at Blaine.

"She was crying when I got there, Kurt, which is why I am here. She was crying for you and Max. I decided right then that we had to fix this, I wasn't going to let our children suffer because we couldn't get our shit together, and yes I said our children," Blaine said, breaking his own rule about cursing. "You can say anything you want, Kurt, but that little boy is my son. I couldn't love him more if he were my own flesh and blood," Blaine said, getting upset all over again, he stood up and started pacing until he saw the two kids watching him. Max had crawled down off of Kurt's lap and was standing beside Ali, holding her hand. Blaine walked over to them and squatted down, then wrapped an arm around each of them.

"Ali, why don't you and brother go into your room and play so I can talk to Papa, ok?" Blaine asked, placing a soft kiss on each of their cheeks.

"Brad der?" Ali asked, tilting her head sideways.

"Yes, you and brother. Go play in your room, ok? I love you both," Blaine said, watching as his two kids walked down the hall to play. Wondering how they were going to fix this because not doing so was no longer an option.

"Ok, Kurt, talk to me. Tell me what has really been going on," Blaine said, standing up, putting his hands in his pocket, and turning to look at Kurt.

"I don't know, Blaine, I really don't. Everything was going so good with us. We never even fought and it was like we were always in sync. I guess in a way, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for you to realize you had made a mistake. That you didn't want me and Max to be part of your life, and you would just leave. When I lost my job, I started wondering what I was going to do, how was I going to support Max and myself now? You know, I never drink, maybe a glass of wine with dinner, but that is it. I learned in high school that I couldn't handle liquor. The only time I had ever gotten drunk, I threw up on my guidance counselor's shoes," Kurt said with a short nervous laugh.

"After they fired me, I went to the park and walked around. That had always been a place where I could go and think. I could relax there and walking around gave me time and space to get my head on straight again. It was one of the first places I went to after moving to New York. When Drew and I would fight, I would put Max in his stroller, and we would go there and just get lost. It became my safe place, my thinking place. I walked around until lunch, trying to figure out what to do next. Marc Jacobs was the perfect place to work. They paid me really well, and I didn't know where I would ever find another job like that again. I also started wondering how I was going to tell you that I lost my job." Kurt was now getting to the heart of what was wrong, and he was dreading having to say what he knew he needed to.

"I know you're nothing like Drew; I know that, but I just started imagining how you were going to react, because I knew how Drew would have. He would have exploded and called me stupid and immature. He would have made comments about how he was going to have to support us now. I knew I couldn't handle that coming from you. I had gotten used to Drew saying stuff like that, but I just couldn't stand the thought of those kinds of words coming from you. I thought I would drink one glass of wine to calm my nerves and try to figure out what to say to you." In his logical mind, he knew, he knew that Blaine would never in a million years act like Drew. But, when tragedy strikes, Kurt's logical mind isn't the one that's the loudest.

"That glass led to another and then another. I am so sorry, Blaine. I know that doesn't excuse what I did. I still can't believe I put our kids at risk like that. Max and Ali are two of the most important people in my life, and what I did was stupid and dangerous. Those two precious kids could have been hurt because of me. I was so worried about you being mad and leaving me because I lost my job that I went and did something far worse. I honestly don't know what to say. I know 'sorry' doesn't come anywhere near to being enough, but I am Blaine, I really am. Can you ever forgive me?" Kurt whispered before falling apart.

Blaine was beside Kurt in an instant pulling him into his arms, holding him tight and letting him cry it out. No matter how mad or angry he felt, he loved Kurt. Seeing him this upset hurt his soul so very much. He held him until the tears stopped, but there was still so much more that had to be discussed before he could even think of forgiving Kurt. As bad as that thought was before Blaine could move on with his relationship with Kurt, he had to know. The words Kurt had said had hurt and left Blaine wondering if he really felt that way. To say something while drunk was one thing, but to say it while sober was something completely different. The most hurtful words said that night had been when Kurt was sober. Blaine didn't even know where they had come from, and until he knew, he couldn't begin to forgive, or move on.

Slowly pulling away from Kurt, Blaine stood up and walked a little away. Keeping his back to him, "I want to forgive you, I do, but there is still so much I don't understand. I know why you said you got drunk, and I understand that, I do. After you sobered up, you still said that Max wasn't mine, that I only had one child. Legally, I know that's true, but I love that little boy, and you know that. You said that while you were drunk and also when you were sober, so it wasn't just the alcohol talking." Blaine knew that all of their thoughts and feelings needed to be laid out on the table, so that they could fix the mess they had found themselves in. They needed to mend whatever this rift was, so that they could be a family once more.

"When I offered to help you to start your own business, you accused me of trying to be your sugar daddy and paying you for sex. That was also while you were sober, Kurt. Where did that even come from? I wasn't offering to pay you for sexual favors, I was offering to help you start a business of your own. It is something I know you would be amazing at and would love to do. If you remember, every suit I bought before I even knew who you were, was one of your designs. I loved each and every one of them. I know you would be so good at it. I could've loaned you the money, or been a silent partner in the business if you wanted me to be, but to say what you said was so out of left field." Blaine always thought that Kurt's designs should be under his own label. He hated that his love was working under someone else, when it was him who should have been shining in his own spotlight.

"Did I make you feel that way, Kurt? Did I make you feel like I was trying to buy you? Because all I want to do, all I have ever wanted to do, was love you. And one of the ways that I felt I could show how much I loved you was to help you with this," Blaine said, turning around to look Kurt in the eyes, feeling hurt all over again.

Before Blaine knew what happened, Kurt was in front of him, pulling him into his arms, holding him tight. "No, Blaine no," Kurt whispered with tears running down his face, feeling so bad that he had made Blaine feel like this, especially knowing what Travis had put him through. He hated that he made him doubt himself all over again. "I swear I don't feel that way. I don't even know why I said that and I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I love you so much," Kurt said before dropping his arms when Blaine didn't hug him back.

"Blaine, please, please say I can fix this. I am so sorry, you didn't deserve that at all, please," Kurt said, begging Blaine tears falling down his cheeks.

"I don't know Kurt, I really don't know," Blaine said, his voice so soft that Kurt could barely hear him. Kurt's answer had devastated him. There had been no reason for the outburst, nothing. In the back of his mind, Blaine had hoped there would be. That there would be some kind of explanation, a doubt or a worry that they could've hashed out together, but this... Could he move on with Kurt if he was always worried that it would happen again? Could he marry him?

"Ummm, Ali and I will be staying here tonight, I need to go, pack our stuff and check out of the motel," Blaine said before walking down the hall to get Ali. When he walked back into the living room holding her, Kurt just looked at him, not understanding.

"Blaine, you can leave her here with Max and me, I don't mind," Kurt said looking at them.

"I don't know, Kurt," Blaine whispered, holding Ali tight, looking at Kurt. He wanted to trust him again, he did, but this was his baby girl. Like Kurt had been concerned about Kara watching the kids when they had gone away together, Blaine now had concerns about leaving Ali with Kurt. He really didn't want to leave Max either, but he had no legal rights to him.

"Blaine, I promise you can trust me with her. What happened the other night will never happen again. Please trust me," Kurt said, looking at Blaine, begging him with his eyes. He had really messed up this time, and he just hopes he hasn't completely ruined the best thing to ever happen to him and Max.

Blaine stood there for a few minutes, wanting to trust Kurt so badly, but almost afraid to. He loved Ali more than life itself, she was his world, and if anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.

"Blaine, I promise," Kurt whispered, seeing the doubt written all over Blaine's face. Kurt knew he deserved that doubt, knew it would take a while before he could earn Blaine's trust again, but he would do everything he could until he did.

Blaine stood there for a few more minutes. He knew they had to start somewhere, "Ok," Blaine whispered, kissing Ali on the cheek before setting her down. "It shouldn't take more than thirty minutes to get there and check out. I'll stop on the way home and grab us something for dinner if you would like."

"That sounds good, sorry I didn't cook tonight, but, well, I didn't know if you would be coming home," Kurt said, looking at Blaine, hating the distance that was between them.

Blaine kissed the kids goodbye before turning around and walking out the door without glancing at Kurt. It took everything Blaine had not to turn around, pick up Ali and take her with him, or even stop at Kara's door and ask her to check-in. He knew if they were ever going to fix this, he would have to learn to trust Kurt again. If only that trust wasn't for the care of his precious little girl.

To say that Blaine was a nervous wreck the whole time he was gone was an understatement. He quickly went to his and Ali's room, threw everything into their suitcase, then went and checked out, canceling their reservation for the rest of the week. For dinner, Blaine decided on a fast-food and ordered the kids chicken strips and fries, himself and Kurt a salad. He just couldn't take the time needed to wait anywhere else; he needed to get home.

The first thing Blaine heard were screams of laughter when he walked in the door. Looking in the living room, Blaine saw that the kids had been bathed and were in their pajamas. Kurt was down on the floor with them playing. Blaine could do nothing but smile. Walking over to the dining table, he sat the food down before walking into the laundry room to put his and Ali's dirty clothes in the hamper, deciding to wash them later. Everything else Blaine carried into the spare room. He had some studying he needed to do tonight after the kids were put to bed.

Blaine walked out of the spare room, noticing that Kurt had seen what he had done, and he was no longer smiling. He was still playing with the kids, but all the joy was gone from his face. "You guys ready to eat?" Blaine asked, trying to sound upbeat.

The kids came running to him, followed by Kurt. They buckled the kids in their booster seats, and then Blaine walked into the kitchen, pouring them a sippy cup of juice, and grabbing himself and Kurt a can of Diet Coke each. They ate in silence, broken by an occasional word from the kids. Once they finished eating, Max chose the movie they would watch tonight, and they all sat down on the couch, Blaine, on one end, holding Max and Kurt on the other end, holding Ali. Kurt and Blaine not even pretending to watch, both too lost in their own thoughts.

When the movie finished, Blaine stood up, still holding Max, "Come on munchkin heads, time for bed," he said before reaching down, picking up Ali out of Kurt's lap, and then carried them both to Ali's room. They needed to fix Max's bedroom this weekend, so if he wanted to sleep in there again, he could.

Since it was Max's night to pick the movie, it was Ali's turn to pick the book they would read. Blaine expected Kurt to join them for storytime, and he didn't know if he was glad or sad that Kurt didn't. Blaine read to the kids until they fell asleep. He carried them over to the bed, tucked them in, turned on the nightlight, and quietly walked out and back into the living room. Noticing that Kurt was still sitting on the couch, Blaine walked over to him, running his hands through his hair. Why did this have to be so hard when it used to be so easy.

"I have some studying I need to do tonight. I signed up for extra classes so I can graduate early," Blaine said, looking at Kurt. "I guess I will just sleep in there tonight, so I don't disturb you. Good night, Kurt," Blaine said, walking to the office and quietly shutting the door.

Blaine studied until eleven, until he just couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. He closed his laptop and placed a bookmark in his book to mark his spot. He quietly opened the office door, and walked down the hall to Ali's room, checking to make sure that she and Max were both still covered up. His bedroom door was open, and Blaine heard crying coming from the bed. It took all he had to turn around and walk back down the hall and to ignore the fact that he knew Kurt was crying. That was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Blaine walked back into the spare room, closed the door, and broke down himself. How were they going to fix this? How were they going to fix them if Kurt couldn't even give him a reason for why he had done what he did and said the hurtful things he had said. Blaine rolled over, closed his eyes, and prayed for sleep.

He was awake the next morning before Kurt, so he made coffee and got both kids dressed for school. Blaine didn't know if Kurt would keep Max home with him, or would take him to school, so he got him dressed as well. Once they were ready, he carried them both into the kitchen. Blaine had made Max and Ali pancakes and was on his second cup of coffee when Kara came through the door.

"Hi, how did it go last night?" She whispered. Blaine had called her after picking up a crying Ali from school. He let her know that he would be going home to see if he and Kurt could fix what was wrong.

Looking towards the hallway to make sure Kurt wasn't close, he looked at Kara and whispered, "It didn't. He apologized for what he did and told me why he did it, but had no excuse for the things he said. That, of course, was the part I needed an explanation for the most. It was like 'sorry,' but no real reason why. I don't know Kara. I don't know if I can trust him anymore, you know?"

"Blaine, please don't give up yet. I know how much you love him, and I know he loves you just as much. I have never seen you so happy as I have since you met Kurt. Besides Ali, he is the best thing that ever happened to you. Give it time, Blaine, please. Don't make a mistake I know you will regret it," Kara said, hugging Blaine, placing a kiss on the kid's cheeks before leaving without even getting her normal second cup of coffee.

Blaine had just cleaned the kids up and pulled them out of their booster seats when Kurt came into the kitchen. He was still in his pajamas, and his hair was going everywhere, which was very unlike Kurt. One of the first things he always did, even on the weekend was get dressed, and fix his hair. Blaine pulled a cup out of the cabinet, poured Kurt a cup of coffee and handed it to him. "I am going to be late tonight since I added three classes to my short day. I'll pick up Ali on my way home. Do you want me to take Max to class and pick him up?"

"No, I got it. Don't worry about it," Kurt said, sipping on his coffee, not looking at Blaine.

"I can take him, it's no trouble,. I am going there anyway," Blaine said again, hating the distance that was between them, but not knowing how to fix it.

"No, I got it, but thanks," Kurt said stiffly like he was conducting a business transaction, not talking about his son.

"Whatever, Kurt," Blaine said, exhaling his breath before grabbing his messenger bag and Ali's backpack. He bent over and kissed Max on the cheek, telling him goodbye, then picked up Ali and was walking out the door. Blaine made it to the elevator before he felt the tears start sliding down his face. He was losing, and had no way to stop it.

Blaine was in his second class of the day and reached in his pocket to pull out his phone. He wanted to send a text to Kurt to remind him that he would be late and to see if they could talk when he got home. He couldn't deal with the space that was between them anymore, even when in the same room. If it took all night, Blaine was determined that they would sort this out tonight. His phone wasn't in his pocket. That's when he remembered he had pulled it out of his pocket this morning to answer a text from his mom and had placed it on the coffee table, forgetting to pick it back up. Shit.

oOoOo

Blaine knew something was wrong the minute he walked in the door. The apartment was too quiet and felt too empty. There was no laughing Max, no television playing Paw Patrol, and the most telling thing was no music playing on Kurt's iPod. The apartment was dead silent. Blaine didn't like it at all. Looking around, he didn't see anything missing. All of Kurt's knick-knacks, all the things important to him, were still there, but two of the most important things in Blaine's life were not. Kurt and Max were nowhere in sight.

Walking into their bedroom, Blaine saw that Kurt's suitcase was missing along with a few of his favorite outfits. Blaine walked into Max's room and saw the same. Max's stuffed bear, the one he couldn't sleep without, was nowhere in sight. He went next to Ali's room since they had slept there last night. Blaine just hoped it was there, that what he was thinking wasn't happening, but the bear was nowhere in sight.

Blaine ran back into the living room to get his phone. He had to talk to Kurt, he couldn't lose him. When he picked it up off of the table, he saw a piece of paper flutter to the ground. Was this it? Was Kurt saying goodbye to him the way Drew had said goodbye to Kurt? Was it over before they really even tried to fix it. Blaine took a deep breath, sat down on the couch and bent down to pick up the paper. Taking a deep breath, Blaine unfolded the letter and read the words written for him by Kurt.

Blaine,

I have to leave for a while. I need to think about what happened, why it happened, and where to go from here. I know you are upset because I didn't have an answer to give you about why I said the things I said. To be honest, I don't have an answer for myself either. I know I don't feel that way, I promise. But like you said, it had to have come from somewhere, so I need to figure that out. I love you. I love what we have, the life we were building together. I just hope it is still there when I get home. I have gone back to Lima. I am going to spend a few days with my dad, so I can figure this out, figure me out. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I know I did. I can see the pain I caused every time I look at you. I knew last night you were afraid to leave Ali with me. I understand that too, I do, even though that hurts more than you will ever know. I know though that that was my fault, I caused that mistrust and I'm sorry. I will be back Sunday morning, and if you are interested, we can talk. I love you more than you will ever know, and if it helps at all, I am really sorry.

Love Kurt

Blaine felt better and didn't at the same time. What if they couldn't fix this? What if he couldn't trust anymore? Everything was so up in the air right now and it made Blaine feel untethered and lost. Blaine decided, for now, to concentrate on him and Ali and fix what he could fix. He wanted to call or text Kurt, but he felt like since Kurt had left, he was asking for time and space. And Blaine would willingly give him that if it would help them. Blaine fixed dinner and fed Ali, not in the mood to eat anything himself. After her bath, they watched Paw Patrol. Ali was more clinging than usual and he could tell that she was missing Max. When he told her it was time for bed, for the first time in months, she cried about going to bed, not wanting to go.

"Come on, baby. Daddy will go lay down with you, ok?" He said, standing up and placing a kiss on her forehead, holding her a little closer. "Do you know what you want me to read tonight?" Blaine asked when he walked into her room. She just continued to cry, shaking her head. Blaine went over to the rocking chair in her room, sat down, and just started rocking. He held her little head on his shoulder, singing softly a song he had started singing to her right after she was born.

Baby mine, don't you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart

Never to part

Baby of mine

Blaine placed a soft kiss on top of Ali's head. He can still remember the day they had brought her home. He was holding her close, singing her this song. After he had left Dalton, Blaine had stopped singing. That was another thing on the long list of things Travis had always made Blaine feel stupid about. Singing used to be a passion for him, something he loved to do.

Blaine, at one point in his life, had seen himself on stage. He had wanted to be in a Broadway musical, performing and singing in front of a big audience. But, Travis had convinced him to do a more "adult" kind of profession, so like his dad, he started college to be a lawyer. Blaine still missed singing. He missed the friendships he had at Dalton.

Little one, when you play

Don't you mind what they say

Let those eyes sparkle and shine

Never a tear

Baby of mine

From your head to your toes (Baby mine)

You're so sweet, goodness knows (Baby mine)

You are so precious to me

Cute as can be

Baby of mine

That was as far in the song as he got. His sweet baby girl was finally asleep. Blaine held her close just a few minutes more, snuggling into her little neck, loving the way she smelled after having a bath. He knew eventually she would outgrow him holding her like this. She would grow up and no longer appreciate her dad hugging her. He knew every little girl went through that, but he was going to hold onto her, hold onto this, as long as he could. Blaine knew he would never be ready for that day to come. Standing up, he walked over to her bed and gently laid her down. Rubbing his hand gently across her head, smoothing down her little curls that were so like his. He looked at her, not seeing any part of the surrogate that he and Travis had used visible in her. Blaine was beyond thankful that she had been willing to give him the gift of fatherhood, which was something he never even knew he needed until he had it. She was his.

Blaine stood watching Ali sleep for a few minutes before walking into the kitchen, grabbing a Diet Coke, and then walking into the office. He needed to study for a test he had tomorrow. When he heard his phone vibrate on the living room coffee table, Blaine ran to get to it. He hoped it was Kurt reaching out. But it was just something from one of his professors reminding him he had a paper due in three days. With a sigh, Blaine turned around, walked back into the office, and opened his book.

Before Blaine went to bed that night, he sent a quick text. He knew that Kurt needed time to work through things for himself, but he couldn't go to bed and not tell him good night, and to say I love you. Blaine was crawling in bed, convinced that Kurt wasn't going to respond when he got the ding of a message being received.

"Love you, too. Night," was all it said. Blaine looked at it before setting his phone back down on the nightstand, closing his eyes, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

oOoOo

Blaine managed to make it through the rest of his week at school with little complications. He passed his test and had turned in his paper on time. He hadn't heard any more from Kurt, even though every night, he had texted him before crawling into bed.

Saturday morning Blaine was up early. He wanted to go and get new bedding for Max's room. He had stayed awake late the night before, repainting the wall he had been unable to get the black marker off of. Blaine dressed Ali in warm clothes since the temperature had dropped a lot last night. While he was out getting bedding for Max's room, he needed to look into getting Ali a new winter coat. She had outgrown the one she had worn last year, and it had been donated with everything else when he was packing up for the move.

Blaine smiled, thinking about now that she was older and could understand more, trick-or-treating for Halloween would be fun. He needed to look into finding her a costume. That thought brought up Thanksgiving and Christmas in his mind. Would he and Kurt divide their time between families like other couples did, or would Kurt just want to be with his family in Lima. That is also dependent on whether or not they were even still together when that time comes.

Trying to chase away that depressing thought, Blaine grabbed his wallet, phone, keys, picked up Ali, and was walking out the door. When he got to the hall, he decided to see if Kara wanted to come with him. Blaine hadn't spent a lot of time with her lately, and he missed her. Pulling out his key to her apartment, Blaine unlocked the door and walked in. To say he was shocked by what he saw would have been an understatement. He might have to rethink the whole walking in without knocking thing. He and Kara had always done that since they were kids. They had always had a key to the others' home. Kara had come and gone as she wanted to at the Anderson's home. Blaine had had a key to Kara's house as well but had never used it because of how her parents were.

Since that time, they had always had a key to each other's apartments, even when they lived in different states. Where Kara lived had been Blaine's home, and where Blaine lived had been Kara's. It used to drive Travis crazy when Kara would come for a surprise visit and she would just walk in. No matter how long he and Travis had been together, he had never been able to get him to understand that that was Kara's house too. He and Blaine had argued over that on more than one occasion.

"Hello," Blaine said with a big grin on his face walking into Kara's living room, seeing Noah 'Puck' Puckerman standing in Kara's hall wearing nothing but a towel.

"Oh… hey Blaine," Puke said, looking around for Kara. "Did Kara let you in, I thought she was still in bed?"

At this, Blaine started laughing. It was 9 am on a Saturday, and Kara was still in bed? "Umm, no, key," Blaine said, still smiling, holding up his keyring.

"KarBear, you have some 'splainin' to do," Blaine said loudly in his best Ricky Ricardo voice still laughing, watching as Kara ran out of her room completely naked. "Kara, go put those away, you know they don't work on me," Blaine said pointing at her breasts.

"You just wish," She said with a cheesy grin, walking back into her room and coming back out in a robe. "Morning, MopTop, and my beautiful, darling girl," Kara said, walking over to Blaine, and taking Ali from him and placing kisses all over her face until she started giggling.

"Blaine, you remember Noah right," Kara said, stepping back from Blaine, still holding Ali.

"Um, yes, I do. But someone has been holding out on me, judging from what I am seeing," Blaine answered her, looking between her and Noah.

"Do you always just barge your way into Kara's apartment like that, without knocking?" Noah asked, walking up to Kara, putting his arm around her and pulling her to his side. Blaine didn't know that much about Noah, just what Kurt had told him, but watching him protect Kara… he might just be worthy of her.

"Yes," Kara and Blaine answered at the same time, looking at each other laughing.

"Anyway, I was just coming to see if you wanted to go shopping with me this morning. But, since you are busy, I'll go ahead and go. Do you want to grab lunch at McCalisters later?" Blaine asked, taking Ali back from Kara.

"Sounds good, normal time?" Kara asked, wrapping her now free arms around Noah's waist, another tell-tale sign to Blaine. Typically, Kara wasn't openly affectionate with people other than Blaine and Ali. She had learned the hard way growing up not to show affection. It had taken a long time for Kara to hug, or allow herself to be embraced by Blaine's parents.

"Yeah, noon, see you then," Blaine said, leaning in and placing a kiss on her cheek, and then reaching out his hand to shake Noah's. Blaine was glad to see Kara happy. It had been a while.

Blaine was able to replace Max's bedding and found Ali several new winter outfits, pajamas, and a coat. This would be their first New York winter, and Blaine was looking forward to it. He couldn't wait for Christmas this year, seeing New York dressed in lights. He was excited to see the Christmas trees at Rockefeller center, go ice skating at Bryant Park, and drinking more hot chocolate than he probably should. Even though Ali was probably still too young to appreciate it, Blaine wanted to take her to see The Nutcracker.

Blaine had all these traditions he wanted to start with her, and hopefully, Max as well. He had loved all the things he had done as a child with his parents and Cooper. They had always made everything about Christmas magical, and Blaine wanted to give that to Ali and Max. He wanted them to have memories so that when they were his age, they could look back on them fondly. He wanted them to someday share the same experiences with their kids. His parents had given him that, and he wanted to pass that on to his children.

oOoOo

"So, when did this happen?" Blaine asked Kara but was looking at Noah. He knew Kurt called him Puck, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. They had been at the restaurant for fifteen minutes and had been chatting back and forth.

"The weekend after we got back from Ali's party," Kara answered, looking at Blaine, trying to silently tell him not to be hurt that she hadn't said anything.

"Wow, Kara, that's awesome and I'm so happy for you! Why didn't you tell me? You know I would always be happy for you. If we had known he was going to be here, we could have planned something for you guys," Blaine said, not believing she had kept something like this from him. They told each other everything. He tried not to be, but he was a little hurt that she hadn't said anything.

She just looked at Blaine, and watched as the happiness that had just been there slipped away. "I'm sorry Blaine, I had planned on telling you and Kurt. I had hoped that we could maybe go out to dinner together, and then everything happened, so I just kept it quiet."

"Kara, I'm sorry, but you don't ever have to hide something like this from me. You know I'll always be happy for you no matter what is going on with Kurt and me," Blaine said reaching out for Kara's hand, gently squeezing it.

"Is something going on between you and Princess?" Noah asked, looking at Blaine.

Blaine just stared at him, not liking the fact that he called Kurt princess. To Blaine, it seemed derogatory, but he also didn't know about sharing something about his and Kurt's relationship with one of Kurt's friends. It felt like a breach of trust to him.

"Blaine, talk to him. Noah has known Kurt since they were in high school. He is one of Kurt's best friends and might be able to help you understand what happened," Kara said, looking at Blaine.

Blaine sat there looking at them, weighing his options, and he finally told Noah what had happened. Not all of it, and not word for word, just that Kurt had said some hurtful things during an argument, and he couldn't understand where it had come from.

"Blaine, one thing you have to understand about the princess is, when he feels cornered or is worried about something, Kurt lashes out. He says hurtful vindictive things that he usually doesn't mean. I went to school with the guy, and yes, I wasn't always the nicest person to him. After I joined Glee, after I got to really know him, we became friends. Well, he and Finn became my best friends. He never means to be hurtful, and a lot of the time doesn't even realize he has done it. To be honest, he usually doesn't even mean the things he says."

"If you could have heard some of the things he said…" Blaine said, looking at Noah, feeling guilty about talking about Kurt behind his back. He needed to speak to someone about what happened, and Kara had always been his person to talk to. Blaine had never planned on having this conversation with Noah present. He had planned on talking to Kara tonight, but when she made the comment she had, Noah had responded. It was nice to get a perspective from someone who really knew Kurt, though.

"Trust me when I say 'I know.' I have been on the losing side of Kurt's tongue before myself," Noah said with a crooked smile. "I love Kurt, he's my boy, but he doesn't always think about things he says before he says them."

"I have just never seen him like that before," Blaine said, looking at Noah.

"Hopefully, you never will again. It doesn't happen often, but when it does… Just remember that Kurt loves you, he talks about you all the time. It's always Blaine this and Blaine that. He was never like that with Drew. Why he was with that as... Oops, that jerk, I don't know. We all tried to warn Kurt that he wasn't good for him. We could all see it, but not Kurt. That was the first time I have ever seen Kurt not listen to Burt. Burt tried to talk to him about it. We all saw Drew for what he was, but Kurt saw someone that he could be happy with. Growing up in Lima, being the only openly gay kid was hard on Kurt. He had his friends, but no one to really love, not romantically anyway. When he met Drew, Kurt thought he hung the moon. He gave Kurt the attention no one else ever had," Noah said with a frown, thinking about how much Kurt had been hurting at that time in his life.

"Until Drew came along, none of us realized what Kurt was going through, how he would watch all us other glee kids going from one relationship to the other, and he had to sit there and just watch. I can still hear some of the things Kurt spouted at me when I tried to warn him off of Drew. I don't know what Drew wanted from Kurt. Not that Kurt wasn't worth it, don't take it that way, but sometimes I feel like he was with Kurt so he would have someone he could dominate. Kurt might blow up at us because he trusted us all to understand, but never with Drew. Kurt always just went along with what Drew told him to do. It was almost like around Drew he bit his tongue. It was like he was afraid to open his mouth, afraid to speak his mind, to be himself." Noah hated seeing his friend reduced to someone being walked all over by another person, especially when that friend had been walked all over by so many other people, himself included at one time.

"That is actually one of the first things I noticed when I saw the two of you together. With you, Kurt is Kurt. He is himself, and he's happy for the first time in years. He says what he wants to say and does what he wants to do because he knows you love him. He's secure enough in your guys' relationship enough to do that. I know it doesn't help, and I know some of the things I am sure Kurt said hurt. But try to take it as a good thing too. Kurt trusts you enough to speak his mind and be himself. He trusts in your relationship enough to explode if he needs to," Noah said, looking at Blaine, hoping that what he said had helped.

"Thanks, Noah. Thank you for being his friend, but also, thank you for talking to me about him and helping me understand," Blaine said happy for the first time since he and Kurt's fight. Noah had cleared up so much for Blaine and helped him understand Kurt just a little better. He also helped him realize that Kurt was more comfortable with him in the short amount of time they had been together than the five-plus years he had spent with Drew. For the first time in a week, he felt like they might actually be able to make it. They might just be able to work it out, and Blaine couldn't have been happier.

A/N: Song in this chapter is Baby Mine by Alison Krauss.