Chapter Twenty-Two
Overwhelming guilt had flooded Hermione's body ever since arriving home for the Yule Holiday two weeks ago. The return to Hogwarts was fast approaching, being only two days away, and she hadn't brought herself to write Draco. Mostly, she'd picked up the quill and held it to the parchment, but could never come up with anything. At this point, she wasn't even sure if she should write at all. She chewed a bit on the end of her quill while contemplating.
Hermione had no idea whether or not Draco even saw the kiss she shared with Harry, yet there was this nagging feeling that he had. The fact that she had received no correspondence from him and his abrupt departure were the only things she had convincing her that he had. He hadn't even written Theo or Pansy, which she knows, since they've written her. She just felt completely miserable about it all.
Letting out a deep exhale, Hermione set down her quill for the umpteenth time, opting not to write a letter to Draco. Perhaps it's best to just explain in person. Or maybe she should write. She didn't know for certain. For now, she decided that she would just go to Diagon Alley as planned, so she can purchase some things for school that she needed.
She threw on her cloak and went downstairs to use the new floo network she had set up in her home. As usual, she felt saddened when she came down to see that her parents were no longer there. This was just a house without the love and care that they brought to it. She let out a sad sigh before stepping into the fireplace.
Grabbing a fistful of floo powder, she threw it at the ground as she yelled very clearly, "Diagon Alley!"
Diagon Alley was busy today, as expected. People filled the streets, all heading off in different directions. Hermione smiled at the familiarity of it all. She loved going to Diagon Alley.
Getting down to business, she walked around to the different shops she needed to get to before the day was through. She picked up new robes, some new quills and inkwells, and a few books for some leisurely reading. She was about to walk to look around some more when she spotted Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. The Weasley Twins' joke shop. Hermione felt her breath hitch.
Before she could give it a second thought, she was marching over to the joke shop. As she entered, the bell sounded, alerting the owner to the forefront of the shop, even though there was quite the crowd in there already. Hermione stood awkwardly at the door, unsure of herself. One glimpse of George Weasley, and she could hardly contain herself.
Deep breaths, she reminded herself as she inhaled and exhaled slowly.
"Hermione?" He inquired as he walked over to her.
She tried her best to muster up a smile, but wasn't sure of how successful she was. "Hello George."
After the initial shock wore off, George approached her and wrapped her in a tight, loving embrace. She felt a genuine smile graced her lips. How much she had missed him.
"Blimey, where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages," he told her once he let her go.
She looked at him in confusion. "I was under the impression that my company was unwanted."
"Who gave you that impression? Come," he said as he pulled her along, "I'll make you a cuppa and we can catch up."
Hermione allowed herself to be pulled into the back room of the shop. It was small and filled mostly with boxes of new products, but there was a door leading to another place. She walked up a staircase and realized she was stepping into George's flat.
"Have a seat," he told her, waving at the sofa in the living room. George went to the kitchen to prepare the tea.
She did as instructed as she let her eyes wander. It was a cozy space, definitely feeling very homey. Pictures of the Weasley family were hung on the walls, along with some portraits of George and his wife Angelina, and people who Hermione assumed were members of the Johnson family. There was a hall that probably led to the other rooms, but she could see the small dining area from where she sat. It consisted of a small table and a few chairs, not quite large enough for George's entire family, but large enough for the couple to have some guests over.
A minute or so later, George reappeared with a tray of tea and biscuits. He offered Hermione a cup, which she took gratefully as it was rather chilly out. It was a bit uncharacteristic of George to be so homely, but Hermione supposed that everything was different these days.
"So how have you been?" George asked as he plopped onto the sofa next to her.
Hermione looked down, unsure of what to say. This whole ordeal was completely confusing her. Ginny insisted her family wanted nothing to do with her, yet here George was, inviting her for tea in his flat.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I've been managing. How have you been? How has everyone been? I've missed you all so much."
"We've been getting by. We just take it day by day. Angelina is expecting our first child."
Hermione beamed at her friend. "That's wonderful! Congratulations, George!"
"Thanks, 'Mione." Though George smiled back at her, it didn't reach his eyes. Hermione could see that there was something amiss here that she couldn't particularly read.
"George?" She whispered.
"At times…" he started, his gaze glazed over, "Never mind, it's silly."
"George, it's me. You can tell me anything." She persisted.
He exhaled a deep breath. "I don't know," he confessed as he absently ran a hand through his hair, "Sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy to be a parent."
"How do you mean?" Hermione inquired.
"Everything I've been through, it feels like it's too soon. My wounds aren't fully healed. I'm scared I might neglect my child." He looked down, sniffing.
"George—"
"I'm sorry, 'Mione. That was—"
"No," Hermione cut him off. "There is no reason to apologize."
"Well," George started. "I don't usually talk about the past with anyone. Too many bad memories."
Hermione smiled, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "Talk."
Hermione had only had a handful of conversations with George. Usually it was Fred that would tease her relentlessly, about Ron and other things, George just tagging along. There was no doubt in her mind that George Weasley saw her as a little sister who wasn't actually a Weasley. They had gotten on just fine through the years, and he had occasionally been someone she could turn to for advice. In turn, she knew that George was aware that she wanted to be someone he can talk to and seek comfort from. She wanted him to know that he didn't have to pretend to be strong in front of her like he would with his family.
"I'm scared." George whispered so quietly Hermione barely caught it. "I'm scared that I'm going to be a horrible father. That he'll witness my nightmares and that they may terrify him. I'm frightened of the idea that I have no idea what I'm doing here without Fred, of experiencing parenthood without him right beside me with his own child. I'm afraid…" he choked, wiping at his eyes. "To— to remember that he isn't here any more."
"George—"
"I don't know if I can do this. But Angelina is just over the moon about the baby and she's always off busy with that and helping me run the shop… I feel like I can't talk to her about any of it. I don't want her to mentally suffer the way I do." George snatched his hand from Hermione's grip and stood as he began to pace.
"I'm trapped in this cage and I'm terrified that I'll never be able to breath a fresh breath of air. To move on with my life and be free. I'm trapped forever and I feel that if I scream, I'll drown for sure. I'm—" he stopped his pacing, his shoulders sagging. "I'm scared, 'Mione."
Standing up slowly, Hermione stood in front of her friend. She steadily wrapped her arms around him and felt George tense under her touch until he finally relaxed, resting his head on her shoulder as he sobbed.
"Some days, I feel the same, but George," She slowly pulled away from him, staring into his swollen blue eyes, the eyes that reminded her so much of her Ron. She gasped, covering her mouth as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
Quickly clearing her throat, Hermione wiped away her tears. She looked George in the eyes and slowly cupped his cheek. "You will be a terrific dad, George. That, I have no doubt about. You'll teach your children to pull pranks and see the silver lining to every cloud. You'll show them that life without laughter isn't worth living. You'll teach them to shoot sparks from their wands and how to fly a broom. You'll…" she let out a deep breath. "You'll reminisce with them about the uncles they never got to meet."
"You'll tell them stories of Fred and…" she trailed off, catching her breath.
It was hard for her to speak of any of the deceased Weasley's, especially Ron. But she knew the first step in moving on was to speak of them. She couldn't allow their memories to fade away.
"Ron." She whispered, giving George a smile. "And you're kids - I'm sure they'll be great. You'll see yourself and your brothers in them. They'll make you proud." Taking a step back, she grabbed his hand and led them back to the table.
Carefully, Hermione sat down, still holding his hand. She smiled as she lifted his cuppa, handing it to him and nodded. "Drink."
Grabbing her own, Hermione took a small sip. "Just do me one small favor, George." Hermione said without looking at him.
"Anything," he replied, his voice hoarse.
"Talk to Angelina. Let her know what you're feeling. She'll be the one who frees you from that cage." Hermione spoke softly, she didn't dare look at her friend.
It was quiet for a long time. The quiet clink of teacups being set down on saucers and soft chewing as George ate the treats laid out on the table before them were the only sounds. It was nice just to sit in silence with an old friend and think.
It was also nice to know George didn't feel any hostility towards her or blame her for Ron's death. She wasn't going to lie, she was surprised he invited her in. With what happened with Ginny, she was sure that the hostility was harbored by the entirety of the red-headed family.
"Hermione?"
Snapping out her thoughts, she turned to George, smiling. "Yes?"
"Earlier, you said you were under the impression your company was unwanted… What did you mean by that?"
Sighing, Hermione sat back. She really didn't want to tell George about Ginny. "It was nothing."
"No," George stated firmly. "Tell me. Now. And I can tell when you're lying. You're shite at it."
She didn't say anything, just stared at him dumbfounded. Was she really that bad at lying? Hermione didn't think she was. Pansy has said the exact same thing not too long ago.
"Out with it then. I'm not getting any younger." George said playfully.
"Ginny," Hermione said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. "She told me. We're not on speaking terms."
"Excuse me?!" George bellowed as he stood up, his cuppa crashing to the floor.
Rolling her eyes, Hermione pulled out her wand to clean the mess. "Sit down, will you?"
"What exactly did my dear little sister say to you exactly?" George hissed.
Hermione blinked slowly, not sure if she ever saw George this… angry before. She was shocked more than anything.
"Well?!" He seethed.
Shaking her head, Hermione began to stutter. "W-well, she told me you guys don't want to be around me any more. T-that it's my fault R-Ron died."
The next thing Hermione knew, George was hugging her fiercely. The only thing Hermione could do was return the gesture, her tears now flowing freely as she held to George tightly, scared of letting go.
Everything about him was familiar. His scent, his eyes, his hair. It reminded her so much of her Ronald, she felt like she was suffocating, but she needed this. It has been too long.
For a while now, since the door of the Weasley home was slammed in her face, Hermione craved that warm Weasley hug she missed so much. She let her mind wander as she inhaled deeply, clearing her mind for a moment… just a moment where she pretended she was hugging Ron back in sixth year. She let the smell take her away as she inhaled deeply a second time, lost in her thoughts. The smell of freshly mown grass, spearmint toothpaste and— something was off. There was another scent… sweet, fresh, fruity— apples. The smell of apples was there, lingering in the back of her mind.
Draco, she thought, once again being flooded with guilt. She felt her body stiffen in George's embrace, her spine going ramrod straight and her breath hitching.
"'Mione?" George said as he let go of her. "What is it?"
Hermione immediately looked down at the floor. She could feel a bit of shame creeping up inside of her.
"It's nothing," she told him. She felt the warmth of blush tint her otherwise pale cheeks.
"Like I said," George stated matter-of-factly, "You're shite at lying."
"It's nothing you need to be bothered with, just some fluffy girl stuff." She insisted.
"Rubbish." He leaned back into his own seat, his features relaxing, but his stare intense. "Try me."
Hermione pondered on that for a moment. Confiding in Harry, that was one thing, he was her best friend. Well, George was certainly like a brother to her as well, but… He was Ron's brother. Surely it would be wildly inappropriate to discuss such matters with him. Not so soon, not right now. She shook her head at the red-headed wizard.
"Is it really all that bad?" He asked.
"That depends," she told him, unsure.
George placed a comforting hand over hers, offering her a small smile. "I'm here for you, Hermione. Ron may not be here, but you're still family. There's no reason to be afraid to tell me anything."
Hermione felt true comfort in those words. She has spent so much time alone, on her own, without anyone there for her. If she were being honest, it was a little overwhelming. She let out a deep sigh.
"I'm just confused, is all." She offered honestly.
"Is it about Harry?"
The brown-haired witch's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "H-Harry? Wh-What -" she stumbled out.
"I may have spoken to him recently. I heard about the um," George cleared his throat awkwardly. "About the kiss."
"He told you about that?" Hermione groaned as she covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe he told you that!"
George let out a light-hearted laugh at her embarrassment. "So it is about Harry then?"
The young witch dropped her arms to her lap. "Sort of, but not exactly. I don't know."
"It's alright you know," he told her. "It's alright for you to move on with your life."
Hermione's eyes softened at this sentiment. Everyone keeps telling her that it would be okay to carry on with her life, but all she could feel in doing so was guilt. Not to mention, if there was any moving on, it would most definitely not be with Harry Potter. Not in that way, at least.
"Thank you for saying that," she told George. It did feel nice to actually hear one of Ron's siblings say such a thing. She smiled at him. "But it's not about Harry. Well I mean, in some way it is, but not completely."
"Honestly, woman. Out with it already!"
Hermione let out a small laugh at George's clear anticipation. "Honestly? I don't know."
"You don't fancy Harry?" He asked her.
She scrunched up her face. "What would ever give you that impression?"
George shrugged. "I just always figured that you would always end up with either Ron or Harry. It seemed like it would make the most sense, if it wasn't Ron."
Hermione's face fell. "Well I can certainly understand why people would have that assumption. Ron, I'll always love him, until I die. There's no debate to be had of that. But Harry… I love him too, but he's my brother, you know?"
The red-haired wizard nodded from beside her. "I can understand that. I'm not pushing you to be with Harry or anything. Just stating that it would make sense. If you choose to move on, it would be okay. Not that you need my permission. But I know Ron would want you to be happy."
She smiled. "I know. There was someone though, but I'm not sure anymore."
"You don't mean a certain platinum blonde Slytherin by any chance, do you?" He shot her a devious smile.
Hermione let out a frustrated groan. "Harry told you that too?"
George shrugged. "He may have mentioned it."
"He sure is chatty for someone who doesn't know how to communicate with his supposed best friend," she mumbled with a roll of her eyes.
"Ah, don't be cross with Harry," he playfully nudged her. "He just doesn't know how to talk to you."
"But he certainly doesn't seem to have any qualms talking about me!"
"Hermione. It's not like that," George assured her. "You know Harry would do absolutely anything for you."
Sighing, Hermione closed her eyes, debating how she would go about telling George of what had been going on with her and this 'certain platinum blonde Slytherin.' She surmised that it might just be best to just spit it out.
Determined, she opened her eyes and said, "I may have… developed some sort of feelings for Draco—"
"Draco, is it?" George grinned mischievously, but Hermione pushed on, determined to get it off her chest.
"—and he may have seen that kiss Harry has told you about and I don't know how to tell him it was a silly, stupid kiss, really, and I don't know why he just ran off like a… a… a coward and not face me about it!"
Standing up, Hermione began to pace, running her fingers through her hair. "I mean, honestly," she began, ignoring the way George sat back, a smirk, plain as day, began to settle over his lips. "We danced. We laughed. We joked! For Merlin's sake we bloody damn kissed and still!" She ranted, clearly frustrated with one Draco Malfoy. "He runs off without a word to anyone, mind you, and just bloody well thinks it's okay?!
"Who the bloody hell does that?" She practically screamed, relieved to finally let out all of this pent-up frustration she had been feeling for a couple weeks now. Well, since Harry kissed her, Ginny hexed her and Draco sodding Malfoy left without bloody well talking to her about what had happened.
"That… bastard!" She continued, forgetting George for just a second. "After everything, everything, we've talked about, opened up about, he goes and does this to me?! No." Hermione stopped, finally turning her attention to George. "I'll talk to him. As soon as I see him at Hogwarts, I'll bloody well talk to him and tell him what an absolute prat he is for running off like that."
Nodding with more determination than she felt before arriving, she said, "He messed with the wrong witch. I'll show him." She stopped and smiled, sitting back down. "Thank you, George. I forgot how it felt to—"
"To let your feisty side show?" He answered, smiling. "Go," he said, standing up. "go get your wizard."
"But—"
"No buts, Hermione Granger," he said firmly, standing in front of her. He reached down, pulling her back up and she smiled, tears forming in her eyes. "You are amazing. Brilliant. You deserve happiness, even if it is with some poncy boy, who, in my opinion, is not all that deserving of you." Hermione laughed, swiping at her tears. "But you deserve whatever your heart desires, 'Mione. You deserve it a thousand times over."
Nodding, Hermione wrapped her arms around George, crying into his chest as he held her tightly in their embrace.
"Thank you, George." She whispered into his chest, tears landing on his shirt.
"I'm glad we've talked, 'Mione. I'm glad we were both able to help each other." George told her softly. He pulled away gently and wiped a tear from her cheek. "You'll stay in touch, right? I promise I'll talk to Ginny, but don't you dare go missing on me again." He smiled, kissing her forehead.
"I missed you too, you know."
"I know," he smiled and she swat his arm playfully. I'll see you soon, yeah?"
She smiled, kissing his cheek. "I promise I'll visit as much as I can."
Walking away, she sighed, giving George a small, but genuine smile before walking out of his shop. She was now more determined than ever to make things right with Draco Malfoy.
A/N
Hello readers! First and foremost, we just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's stuck with us since the start of this story. We know this update is long, long overdue, but we're just grateful for anyone who's still reading.
So much has happened since we last updated this story. Basically, life had just gotten in the way. We've both had big life changes and opportunities, and unfortunately, our story suffered as a result. The plan is to get back into the swing of things and update regularly. We hope you all stick it out with us to the end.
Thank you again for reading our story, and please leave us some reviews!
XO,
rgbeeiii & princessxmalfoy
