sleep well my friend; there will be another moment we'll meet again
-mayday parade
•••
Iris felt the presences gradually fluctuate as the train moved across the cities at a steady pace. She was usually always quiet when traveling; she liked to focus on all the auras surrounding her. Ignoring them usually caused more trouble than it was worth. That's why when Winry struck up conversation with her, she had to be told thrice to acknowledge her name being called.
Averting her gaze from the scenery that flitted by, she looked to the blonde mechanic sitting across from her. The boys were in the other cart, Ling and Ed were most likely fighting; Alphonse and Fu were probably trying to separate them. Ed was assured that the girls would be safe, at least after Iris angrily accusing him of still not trusting her.
He had sighed, grabbing onto her forearms a little too forcefully, saying, "Just.. be careful." She almost didn't notice the look in his eye.
Lan Fan joined the girls, but she sat alone in the other aisle from them. Her eyes had switched from each passenger throughout the entire train ride, staying watchful. Vigilant. A true warrior.
"Uh, yes Winry? I'm sorry, I was just..." there was a pause, not knowing an excuse to give. Winry was her friend; she deserved to know the truth, yes, but... Iris had people leave before because of her odd power. She didn't want it to happen again.
"I said, are you excited to see the Hughes again?"
Iris practically lit up. "Of course! I miss Maes, and Gracia is like a mother to me. Plus, Elicia is so small and cute. I miss being that innocent..."
Winry smiled wistfully. "Yeah... I hope they're well."
•••
Edward couldn't stand another second on that train. Once the train stopped, he bolted.
"Brother, wait!" Alphonse had called out, quickly taking Ed's luggage in his gloved hands. Iris and Winry looked at each other and rolled their eyes, having seen the short alchemist burst from the train, despite his rudeness to the other passengers he shoved while getting off. Iris noticed that Lan Fan had mysteriously disappeared, but she didn't let herself worry too much; she more than likely reunited with the foreign prince as soon as she got the opportunity to.
Once off the train, Iris took in the scenery of what she could see from Central. She'd only visited Central on special occasions; mostly she just passed through it for work purposes.
'Might as well get used to it,' she thought. 'Afterall, this is my new home.'
"Iris!" Winry called, already a good few feet away. "Aren't you coming?"
The alchemist smiled. "Of course."
Jogging over to where her other three friends were, she felt a dull memory lingering in her head that was pressing into her skull and making her forehead throb with pain. It was almost as if she was trying to recall something.. or someone... She had felt this before...
"Are we all ready to go?" Alphonse asked, looking around as if searching for something. "Oh, wait. Where's Ling and the others?"
"I only saw Lan Fan leaving after him. I'm sure they'll find us soon, though," Iris explained, tapping into her willpower not to keel over in pain. It was growing stronger by the second, but she would not let this small inconvenience ruin her plans with her friends and to meet back up with the others. She knew it would eventually pass like all the other episodes she had had throughout her life did, and that it was better to grin and bear it than to complain.
"Let's just leave 'em," Ed ventured, still stretching out his stiff muscles. "Ling wouldn't shut up during the entire ride, and I don't want to hear him for at least the next twenty-four hours. I swear, he's like a word generator."
He didn't wait for anyone to respond, walking away from the train load off and going into the actual city. The three followed, eager for what awaited them into the city that always left them in awe. All having come from small towns no one had ever even heard of, Central never lost its charm.
The streets were filled with life as always, from women pushing their newborns in a stroller to men in business suits trying to hurry back to work from their lunch breaks. Edward led the way, having already learned the way to the command center, but Winry stopped in her tracks when they reached the crossroads that separated the way to the command center and the way to the Hughes's residence.
"I think I'm just going to head to the Mr. Hughes house," Winry mentions, turning to the side. Iris pouts.
"Oh, I wish I could come with!" She sighs. "I have to come with them to check in with my brother and the team. We'll see you there later, though, okay?"
Winry nods, and almost turns to leave when Iris pulls her back gently by her wrist. She can feel something tugging at her heart, and she's not sure what, but she brings Winry close and wraps her in a quick hug. Winry hugs back and smiles, unbeknownst to the emotion behind this seemingly random hug.
"Say hi for me, okay?"
"Yeah, I will."
•••
"I'm kinda excited to see my brother again," Iris mused, walking along the streets with Ed(Al was too big for them to all walk together, so he trudged a bit in front). The little alchemist seemed to turn sour at the sound of his superior's name, but it was nice to see Iris show some emotion. Winry had mentioned that she wasn't very present during the train ride, and it was worrisome. Edward didn't know much about the alchemist's capabilities, especially when dealing with her powers of the past. It all confused him, but he didn't push it. He knew what it was like to want to keep some things a secret for a reason.
He just hoped that whatever it was, she'd keep moving.
Jogging up the steep steps, Iris didn't bother to let Edward and Alphonse catch up. She was eager to catch up, and wanted the annoying voice at the back of her head to finally be proven wrong that, no, nothing was wrong, and no, it's not happening again. Whatever it may happen to be.
"C'mon, guys!" she called. "You're so slow!"
The boys ran faster into the building, trying to keep up. She only stopped to ask the receptionist where Colonel Mustang was located, but then dashed off again.
"W0uld you stop running?!" Ed yelled, skidding into another hallway. They were close behind, and as the three turned a corner, Iris bumped her head into a firm chest. A little dazed, she steps back and looks up to meet the darkened eyes of the Colonel. A smile spreads over her face as she steps back in and gives him a hug. She's almost just as tall, so she can fit her face inside his neck. Roy gives a pat on her back but doesn't seem as excited to see her as she is.
When Mustang pulled away, Iris was the first to talk. She noticed Miss Hawkeye behind him and gave her an easy smile. She nodded back at her but kept her stoic demeanor.
"We were just looking for you," she admitted.
"Hello Iris, Fullmetal, Alphonse." His voice was monotone as usual, but Iris felt something different behind his tone. Something... dejected. She felt something crawl under her skin.
"We just wanted to check in with you to let you know that we're in Central," Al spoke, having to look down at the respected Colonel.
"Yes, that's fine." He turned to Iris, "Iris, will you be coming home tonight?"
"Probably not," she admitted, looking over to her friends.
"Yeah, we were just about to go to the Hughes' house anyway," Ed pointed out. At the sound of his friend's name, Mustang froze in place. "He's still stationed here, right?"
There was a stunned silence as Roy said nothing with an emotionless demeanor. He needed the time to regain himself, but Iris asked, "Hey, what's wrong?"
The lieutenant behind him looked worried, but didn't speak a word.
"Hughes has..." He swallowed. "Retired. To the countryside."
Iris's shoulders immediately slumped at the bad news. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? Winry's already on her way!" She pulled at the two brother's wrists. "Let's go, we have to try to catch up with her before she gets there!"
Without a word of goodbye, she ran off with the other alchemist's in tow. In the distance, the Colonel and his Lieutenant had faces of guilt, but neither of the two tried to stop them. Their frowns only deepened.
"Oh man," Iris said as she dashed away. "She's probably already there wondering where-" Suddenly, she was interrupted by running into another chest. Bumping back from the impact, she looked up to see the somewhat familiar face of Maria Ross. Smiling, she apologized.
"Sorry about that, we're just kind of in a rush."
"It's no trouble," she replied with a grin.
"Oh, Lieutenant Ross, you've been in Central for a while, haven't you? Did you get to see Mr. Hughes depart?" Al joined into the conversation. "We were told by Colonel Mustang about it."
There was a blossom of sadness in her eyes at the mention of the Lieutenant Colonel's name. "Oh, yes. I was there. It was heartbreaking, but he was sent off properly by the military."
"That was nice of them," Ed commented.
"Yes, it was. But I think the three of you will be happy to know that he was promoted, by two whole ranks."
Confusion spread across the teenager's faces. "How can he get promoted that much if he was retiring?" Iris questioned.
Realization came over the Second Lieutenant's face as she stepped back and covered her mouth with a hand.
"Lieutenant?" Ed called, trying to snap her out of her stupor. "What's wrong?"
In a hollow whisper, she turned away to say what they all feared in the back of their minds.
"Maes Hughes... is dead."
They felt their stomach's drop. The shallow breath that came from Iris sounded more akin to a whimper. At her words she felt as if the walls were caving in, trapping her. She couldn't speak, or even look up. The voice at the back of her head talked maliciously to her and made her incapable to let out a sound as if she were being suffocated.
She heard voices all around her, and not just Ed and Al's and the Lieutenants. They were inescapable; they always have been ever since she was a child. And what she did as a child was no different than what she did next: run.
With blurry vision and tears that refused to come out of her eyes, she sprinted out the command center of Central and into the city's streets.
'Deny it,' was her thought process. 'This can't be true, this can't be real.'
Iris had the Hughes' address memorized by heart, and she pushed strangers that interfered with her destination. She refused this. This was not right. This was not real.
'It's going to be fine,' she thought. 'You'll get there and then he'll open the door and say hi with a grin, just like always. Elicia will race to the door and jump at me, just like always. Gracia will offer tea and I'll always deny because I like coffee, just like always. Just like always.'
She didn't bother knocking. She threw herself inside, panting with tears running down her face.
'Please,' she pleaded. 'Please don't prove me wrong.'
"Oh, Iris," Mrs. Gracia said solemnly, getting up to motion her next to a sobbing Winry who held an innocent Elicia. "I'm so sorry about all of this."
Sniffling and shaking, Iris embraced her, holding onto someone who was like a mother to her. Gracia rubbed her back in comfort, more tears surfacing and pricking at her green eyes.
"Is he really gone?" Iris managed to choke out into her shoulder. She could feel her nod, which made the other's chest heave. She couldn't breathe.
She couldn't tell how much time had passed, but eventually, the Elric brothers came in next. She sat on the same recliner that Maes would always sit in, all of her memories swimming around in her head. She could faintly hear Edward and Alphonse apologizing and reminiscing, but it mostly flew over her head. She sat there, just trying to find a way to breathe. Not for the first time, she wished all the thoughts in her head would cease.
More time passed, and through the corner of her eye, she saw Winry rubbing her eyes every time another tear threatened to fall. Iris rose and sat next to her and enveloped her into a tight hug, and Winry hugged back just as strong.
"I'm sorry," Iris cried softly. "I'm so sorry."
•••
It was after dark when the boys convinced Winry and Iris to leave and head back to a hotel for the night. They were still wiping away tears by that time, but Iris was reaching the stage of emptiness. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to feel anything, so she let herself go numb. She would always rather feel nothing at all than everything at once.
They had rented two rooms; one for the girls and one for the boys. It was past nine when there was a knock on the girls' door. Edward let himself in quietly, taking in the scene of a sorrowful Winry and an emotionless Iris both curled into one corner of the room. The only light illuminating the room was the tasteless hotel lamp on the single nightstand between the two beds.
Still upset himself, he forced himself to speak out. "You two should go eat. I know you haven't all day."
Neither responds, both looking at him as if he were dense.
"The cafe in the hotel closes at 10, you should get there before it's too late."
Still, no one moved. Ed seemed to give up, backing away and closing the door. He mumbled an apology with a strained expression, his heart heavy.
There was a moment of silence, then Iris spoke.
"I'm going to go try to eat. Are you sure you don't want to come?"
Winry didn't look her in the eye. She just shook her head, and Iris noticed a shiny tear drip off her nose. The Alchemist gave her a short but reassuring hug as she got up from the bed, then left Winry to herself.
Edward had disappeared from the hallway already, so she let herself take a deep breath and tried to pull herself together. She felt lingering in the back of her mind once more from the first time she had arrived at Central, but this hit her with brute force. Her head pounded, but she figured she just needed food like Edward had suggested, so she walked herself to the small cafe, trying not to stumble along the way.
She sat at the first empty table she could find, regaining herself. A waiter dutifully came to her and asked if she wanted anything; she just ordered one sweet tea, just for Maes. It was his favorite.
Taking deep breaths she looked around, she realized the place was practically empty. The lights were dim but strung around symmetrically, so it was pleasing to look at. It calmed her down in some sort of way, somehow.
She muttered a string of curses under her breath, most likely upsetting the waiter who passed by. When he came back he set the glass of tea on her side of the table, giving her a foul look as he walked away.
Silently she picked it up and put it across from her in front of the empty chair. She felt stray tears leave her dark brown eyes.
Iris rested her head on the circular table for a minute, refusing to let any more tears drop.
'Stop,' she told herself. 'Please just stop.'
