You open your eyes. Hovering above you is the most brilliant example of a male specimen you have ever seen. Sparkling manly, Uchiha Jon looks down at you. The corners of his lips lift wryly, and his deep eyes watch you sexily.

"Hey," he says, "what's your name? And what are you doing in my bed?" His bare chest pristinely heaves, and you cannot take your eyes away. He has the most amazing dude nipples you've ever seen! "Hello?" he asks, and you notice you've remained silent for far too long.

Closing your slack jaw, you say, "I…don't know."

"Well, Self-insert-chan, that's a curious thing! We must have drank a lot last night!" Jon exclaims cheerfully. Beer bottles and empty liquor bottles are all over the bed. You sit up and notice more all over the floor.

"Yeah…" you say. Eyes dart side to side in your face, and you pull the covers up. You feel like you desperately need a shower, but also don't want to leave Jon's presence for a moment.

"Well, I'm going to go find Sazuke-chan, do you wanna come to?" Jon asks you.

For a second, you wonder who 'Sazuke' is, but then you detect Jon's breath. Although he just woke up, it is fresh, but not minty. Something perfect and natural. You get a sudden urge to kiss Jon, but blushing, you don't. You simply nod your head.

"That's awesome, Si-chan! Well, first we should go get saKUra-chan," Jon says.

You wonder if Jon has been mispronouncing everyone's name this whole time.

You nod and get out of the bed. Jon vanishes. You notice your rainbow and plaid skirt on the floor and your vest. You put them on, leaving your vest open. Once your ninja shoes are on, you wonder around until you find Uchiha Jon's bathroom. There you do bathroom stuff then notice yourself in the mirror. You're looking mighty fine, you think, and then Jon appears next to you. He also notices you are looking good.

The two of you sex on your way to Sakura-chan's. It's so amazing you die.