Hey guys! So, this chapter is longer than other ones have been. I felt that this one was necessary for the story and I hope you see why after reading it. I definitely felt the emotions while writing it, which did make it a bit difficult, but also made it seem more real. I had so much fun not only writing this chapter, but feeling like I'm in the story slightly. I really felt that the story needed at least one of these moments between two of the characters.
I will not be giving a shout-out in this chapter.
I would like to apologize for the lapse in postings on here, not just for this story, but for everything. Life has gotten a bit hectic for me and only gotten worse. I have been quite busy, but that doesn't mean the postings will stop – they will just be a bit sporadic for a while.
I would also like to announce that I have made a twitter account for the stories! The official handle is SweetlySiniste1. This was made a while ago and for you guys! If you want to or need to reach me quickly then please use that as the main form of contact! If you have questions or concerns then please use the twitter as well. I will make posts on there when new chapters/ stories are done and when they will be posted. I will also be doing polls on there so be sure to follow me!
I hope you all enjoy this chapter. With that said, let's get onto the story!
Carol POV
This morning I went downstairs and found Rick sitting at the table in the kitchen. He was eating, which was good, and he didn't seem as down as he did before. That's also good. Grabbing some food for myself, I took a seat across from him at the table.
"How are you doing today? It seems like your better, seeing as you're not on the couch anymore" I tell him.
"I'm better. My wounds have healed a good bit and I can move around a bit more now. Michonne had to help me make my way to the table before she went on her run. I'm still a little shaky on my legs, but definitely better than I was." He says before taking a bite of his food.
"That's good. We need you to heal up and get better."
"I don't see why it's so imperative that I get much better before we leave. I mean, I can move around a good bit – just need help every now and then." He tells me.
"We need you to be able to hold your own. If you can't and we get caught out there then there's a risk to you, which means one of us has to rush to your aid which puts all of us in the line of fire. We move when you can walk without needing assistance and when you can hold your own against a walker. We can't move if there's a weakness in our little group."
He nods in agreement before the door opens, showing Michonne with bags full of stuff. She has some blood on her, but no wounds that we can see. She drops the bags on the couch, shuts and locks the door and then joins us in the kitchen. She grabs some of the cereal and joins us at the table.
"How'd the run go?" Rick asks.
"Good. Got some medical stuff; some gauze, some pills and disinfectant. There's more, but I can't really remember everything I found. Also found some food and I even found a gun in one of the houses."
"A gun? I thought someone would've taken a gun by now, considering how the world's turned out" I tell them.
"Well" Michonne says, preparing to take a bite of her cereal, "I found it under the floorboards. It squeaked and when I pulled it up, there was the gun. Unfortunately, the squeak brought in a walker that was in the closet, but I handled it."
"You didn't get bit or scratched or anything, right? You're okay?" Rick asks
"Yeah, I'm fine. Its blood on me only helps to hide my scent a little. I didn't get hurt or anything."
We all nod and continue eating. Rick finishes first and goes to stand, but Michonne takes his bowl from him and puts it away for him so he doesn't have to stand.
"You don't need to be moving much yet. Heal up a bit more first and then we can discuss this" she says.
"I can't just do nothing. There's things that need to be done and they won't get done with me laying around."
"Rick, we can handle this. Michonne is going around and doing runs; she isn't doing too much at once, only what she can handle. I'm taking care of packing everything so we can move quickly as well as making sure everything we have is stuff we can use. If not then I'm getting rid of it as we don't need to be transporting trash." I tell him, trying to calm him down.
"You've also been helping me heal and taking care of my wounds. Both of you are doing things and I'm just being useless."
"You are doing what you need to do and that's what matters" Michonne says before heading back to the door, "There's a couple more houses I want to hit before night falls. I'll be back soon"
"Do you need anything? Ammo or more bags?" I ask and she nods. "Bags"
I look around, but the only ones we have are full so I quickly empty them onto the ground before handing them to her. I was careful when taking everything out, just wasn't taking into account all that she got. We don't have the time to waste on going through it all item-by-item right now. I hand her the bags and wave her out the door, knowing that she'd be back soon.
"Can I at least help you go through everything she brought back" Rick asks from the kitchen, making me laugh.
I run over and help him stand, slowly making our way to the couch. "Sure." I say before taking an arm full of stuff and putting it on the couch, "You can go through that pile. If it's useful then keep it on the couch, if not then put it on the ground. We need to keep this all organized."
I start going through everything and organizing it. Gauze, can of beans, and bottle of water – keep. Empty pill tube and fake plant – toss. Keep, toss, keep, toss… This continues for about an hour until we got through it all. We didn't keep much, but it's more than we had before.
"You seem a bit distracted Rick. What's on your mind?"
"I'm a failure. I'm supposed to protect my children and I currently don't know where they are. I don't even know if they're alive Carol. What kind of father am I?" He says, slowly getting louder. "I mean, Lori was able to keep track of Carl."
"Lori never knew where your son was. The only reason he survived is because he had a big group of people around him, all of whom would protect him with everything they had. I can't tell you the amount of times I hear her asking people where Carl was – how many times she asked me. She was notorious for losing him. You can't blame yourself for any of this"
"But he -"
"No" I say firmly, shutting him up. "Look, your son is strong and smart and so capable. He will make it. We will find him and when we do, you're gonna realize how much you doubted him. He's learned how to defend himself and he knows how to take down walkers. If a group finds him, he knows how to deal with people too. Trust him to do what he needs to in order to survive"
He nods. "You're right. Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, of course you can. Anything"
"What happened that day at the prison? I was down there talking with those people after they shot the tower down and then you all started firing. Why? Did you not think I could handle it?" he says.
"That's not it. Daryl helped Chloe up after she hit the ground from the tower going down. She handed us all guns and told us who to fire at. Daryl and I had scoped weapons, told to fire at people who were – I believe close to Maggie and headed her way, but I might be wrong there. She pointed out that they had a tank and that we wouldn't be able to do much against it, but I don't know if she knew Daryl had a grenade."
"So, Chloe told you guys what to do? Pretending she was leader?" He says with a glare setting on his face.
"No" I say and lightly smack him on the back of the head, which gets his attention, "Chloe gave us weapons and took up the leadership position for the moment. Doing so because she wanted to get us out alive. She's the one who got Michonne to go get Maggie, she's the one who told Beth to get the children and elderly on the bus. She did what she needed to in order to protect us and get us out in the moment. I don't know if Maggie or most of us up top would've survived had she not done that."
"We've really been underestimating her, haven't we?" he says with a small laugh.
"We've never had a reason to need to know everything she can do. Did I know that she can strategize and take on being a leader? Hell no. Did I know that she could survive a fall from something at the height of the tower? No. Did I know that she would protect us no matter what came up? No. Did I know that she would stay with the group? Yes. I've known that since she told me about Daryl being her dad."
"How did you make that connection? I don't get it" Rick replies.
"She's never been one to let people in, yet she decided to tell me something that seemed to mean so much to her? Letting someone know something that important tells more than you could ever think. She and I formed a small understanding – me telling her about Sophia and Ed while she told about Daryl. I knew she would stay with us, even if it's to just be around her dad."
We sit there in silence for a bit before Michonne comes back with the bags full. She dumps them out on the ground quickly and then heads out, quickly mentioning that she didn't have room to hit the final house without dropping it all off first. I gave half of the pile to Rick and took the other half myself, doing the same thing we did before.
"Rick, I think we should give Chloe a higher position in the group. Not leader, not right hand, but more responsibility. Maybe we can have her and a couple others dedicated to making runs or something that would still let her feel like herself."
"Our little government is done for now, until we can regroup and go over everything. Even then, we need a place first and we're missing someone from it too – Hershel. I trust Chloe more now, but there were even people in our close group who weren't in there. I don't know if I would want Chloe making decisions that would affect the whole group. If she's making runs with people who can't 'tame' her then she may not get stuff we need" he responds.
"I'm not saying she needs to be in charge of anyone or anything, just a higher position. Something to show her that we trust her enough to do that and believe that it's something she's capable of. Something that lets her use the skills she's gained for good."
"And what would that be Carol? Huh? What job could we give her?" he asks, throwing the piece of trash and turning to look at me.
"I don't know. I just think it would be a good idea. She's helped us so much, without worry to her own health, and hasn't said a word about it. She never did it in search of thanks, but because it was the right thing to do. Give her the chance to prove herself to you – to prove that she can do what you need her to do. Anything" I say, meeting his gaze.
"Carol, I need to think about it."
"Why? You would have no problem giving it to anyone else, even Andrea – who was sleeping with the Governor. She remained loyal to him through everything – turning her back on us completely, while Chloe remained loyal to us."
"You forget that we're talking about the girl who, I heard, killed her own mother. The girl who refuses to tell us anything about herself, but still wants to remain in this group. The girl who maybe caused us to lose the prison! Maybe we would still have it if she never showed up!" He yells.
"We don't know her past Rick! Did she kill her mom? Maybe, but she would've had a damn good reason for it. Let's not forget about what you did to Shane! Don't throw her past in her face and keep yours hidden! She doesn't want to tell us anything about herself? Newsflash: We haven't exactly been too forthcoming with information on our past with her. You can't expect her to spill her guts to you when you won't do it for her. As per the prison, maybe we would've lost it that day she saved your ass had she not been there. You can't blame her for stuff when you're doing the same thing!" I yell back.
"I'm not doing that stuff! You all know everything there is to know about me! Same for me about you guys! She needs to grow up and realize that this is the world now!" He says and I fire immediately.
"What about Daryl? He was exactly the same way she is when you first met him! Yet you still gave him a chance! You trusted him to do what needed to be done before he ever showed you a sign of acceptance! So you can accept his past is dark and you can accept not knowing everything about him, but not Chloe!? Why does he get a pass in that department and not her!?" I say with tears pricking my eyes, "Why do you get to hold her past against her, but she can't do it to you?"
I can see regret show in his eyes and my mind goes to walkers as our voices got quite loud, but I don't hear any. He hangs his head for a moment before locking eyes with me, tears in his eyes. I stand and take a seat by him, gently wrapping him up in a hug. I know that he regretted every word that just came out of his mouth, but he can't take it back. Not now.
"Why is this affecting you so much Rick? Do you really have that big of a problem with her past?" I ask him carefully, trying to not rile him up again.
"I have a problem with the fact that her mom and whoever else lived there did this to her. I have a problem with the fact that no one, not even the police, helped her out of that lifestyle. She's just a little girl; she didn't have a chance in that world" he says quietly.
"I know. This is one reason she's lucky that you survived this long and Lori didn't. You know Lori never would've let her stay, she would've thrown that girl out on her ass immediately even though she'd saved you. You gave her a chance and a home; allowed her a chance to have a family. I believe she's earned the right to prove herself to you now. Prove that you can trust her, but if you are really against it then I guess we can just pretend this discussion didn't happen" I say slightly disappointed.
"No, you're right. Again" he chuckles, "She has earned it and I'll think of something that she can do. I just need some time to find something fitting for her. Do we even know how old she is?"
"When she and I talked that day when she mentioned Daryl being her dad, I said she was twelve. She corrected me by saying that she's thirteen. So now, I would say she's either thirteen or fourteen. A year or two younger than Carl." I say with a smile. I put my head gently on his shoulder as I hug him once more, "She's lucky to have you here Rick and you're lucky to have her. Don't forget that"
I stand and return to my pile, organizing it a little more before the door opens again. Michonne comes in again, but only one full bag. She goes to say something, but stops where she is, dumps the last bag and goes through it. I guess the air in the room said enough about what happened. Rick and I can fill her in later.
Hey Guys! So, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I think this is the most emotional one I have written so far, just through the words that are said. This chapter did not end as I had planned for it to, but I think it ended so much better.
If you enjoyed this story then please leave a review and let me know what you thought. It would mean the world to me. I can't express how much I enjoy reading them and responding to them when I'm able to. This is our second longest chapter falling in at 3042 words.
Again, I hope you all enjoyed it and I'll see you in the next chapter!
