After that cluster truck, needless to say I was left alone. No difference from earlier of course but with the added benefit that they just pretended I didn't exist. Kind of like in the cartoons how ostridges would shove their heads in the sand. If they don't see me I thusly did not exist, after all ignorance is BLISS.
Even though I was bored, I kept to myself and just about disappeared. I could see the agents who had to deal with cleaning up my mess flinching every now and again thinking I was behind them, scaredy cats. It almost felt as if the clocks were moving backwards but hey that just means I should keep my hands busy, which of course I could manage without being an arsonist for at least five minutes. No matter what Dad says.
Thor was supposed to be by any time to try and get to that stupid hammer that I still haven't been able to get to, but bringing that scientist because he promised to get her work. Course the idiot wouldn't succeed because he is still an arrogant twit, so that is where I come in. I know for a fact Shield would never give any of her stuff back because they are total magpies who steal other people's stuff to sparkle up their collections.
Now I was an expert at lifting things off of people without them noticing, thank you Bucky, and have a variety of items in front of me. Being crouched in the ventilation shaft is an amazing hiding spot if only because this one is only big enough for me being a very slight and small child. No Agent Barton to come crawling through here anytime soon, not unless he didn't have an archer's shoulders which, unlikely. Now looking at my looted stuff I should probably not call Shield magpies with that tone of disgust seeing as I was probably just as bad in that regard.
"Nah," I snickered while ripping apart a walkie talkie.
The long and the short of what I was doing was making a rubber duckie. The concept was simple enough, just basically it needs to act as a worm that eats and copies the information on a computer to the outer hardware while leaving behind a virus that is destructive enough to erase any of that information on the original computer. I'm saving my vicious behavior for this virus in general, because if it can get into the server I will be very happy indeed. Course I wasn't just going to get that scientist's stuff, I was enough of a jerk to steal as much as I could get my hands on, who knows it might actually help.
Which of course tinkering like this and coding something as nasty as this virus took quite a bit of time even with how I was rushing, I was even skipping food for this! Which showed to be a damn smart choice because I finished just in the nick of time. The thunder outside was enough of a cue as any, not even taking into account the shouts from the bigger agents getting their butts kicked. Right let's go girlie, this vent actually opens out to where that hammer is lodged in the rock if only because no adult could fit inside.
Manually loosening screws is literally the worst, why can't I have a sonic screwdriver? Or I mean, something to blow it up would be rather nice. No focus, he can mow through those guys like swatting down flies. Thor came barreling through one of the canvas walls having knocked the BIG guy unconscious in his wake, then as he stood his face filled with the arrogant thought that he has accomplished the quest just because the hammer was before him. Idiot forgot that the thing is seeping with magic. The Shield personnel of course have no idea that's what it is, but even being this close to it is enough to make my nose wrinkle, as if I were smelling vinegar.
When he dropped to his knees in defeat I sauntered the hilariously short distance it took to be on the other side of the hammer. Really I just wanted a closer look out of curiosity's sake because how could they not see that this man was far from human? He may be...mostly human now but there was a sense of almost static around him that showed how further from the truth that could be.
His head snapped up at my presence, immoveable hammer momentarily forgotten with how shocked his face was. I wanted to say something, but no words would come because I didn't know what exactly to say in this situation. His face was enough to throw me for a loop because I don't have the vocabulary to describe it besides the fact that he had seen a ghost.
"Død," he whispered and I stepped closer, even on his knees he was taller than me so I had to tilt my head back to see his face, rain notwithstanding. Frowning I started to reach out, not sure what for, but my movement seemed to have broken whatever spell was holding the awake and aware agents frozen. The now very muddy enclosure was swarmed by armed men coming to surround him. Without any kind of fight Thor was taken to a makeshift interrogation room, which may or may not have been planned because why else would they have had one way glass in this kind of place?
Even though I was soaked through, the rubber duckie was dry as a bone under my clothing safe and sound. If that were to die I'd be screwed. Speaking of, why wasn't I moving? The answer came when all the hair on my body stood on end as water logged as they may all be. It was as if a massive amount of static electricity had just walked up beside me, directly next to the hammer. Oh, that's because something most definitely had just walked past me.
"The hammer was never meant for you, not even for him." I just HAD to open my big fat mouth. The air shimmered and shifted and as if he slid into reality the tall lanky man just raised a brow.
"And what would you know about any of this, mortal infant?"
"I've seen enough rigged games to calls it as I sees it." I'm not afraid of an angsty teenager, even one with magic. The two of us were just sizing the other up, not knowing how high of a threat the other may be in this very moment in time. His eyes glittered, something lay underneath that showed how otherworldly he really was.
Then abruptly he turned and walked away, the entire exchange was enough to give me whiplash, teenagers were the same in every galaxy apparently. Well that was...informative.
Right think: Dad is busy saving his life and can't get me, Pepper would have no way to figure out that Shield has me let alone where I am, Bucky is...somewhere in hiding to make sure the Hydra agents that are in Shield don't figure out where he is and thusly can't get me. Have I forgotten anything? Guess this one is in your hands again Anika, you know what to do.
Now the guys who have been slaving over the bits and bobs missed the whole, ah, "chemical warfare" earlier due to having their noses buried in Science! Which makes this part of the plan much easier to complete than if they treated me like I was going to eat them. This is going to be mortifying, but hey if it works it works.
The moment I stepped into the Science! Room, my face morphed from how serious and old it usually is set in to as wide eyed and innocent as I could get it. My next trick was to change my voice, add just a little bit of 'baby' into it and people are putty in my hands.
"Hey, what are you doing in here huh?" There was only one guy in here with everyone being brought over where Thor is, excellent.
"I-I got lost," Enunciating the lisp was just a touch of sudden brilliance, then I shivered from my wet clothes.
"Why are you all wet?" The science guy abandoned the thingamajig and knelt down to my height, nice guy probably knows a kid if he doesn't have one.
"Was rainin," I mumbled, "Who are you with sweetheart?" He continued while looking at me like taking in information.
"Mister Phil, but then the big man came and can't find 'im." The science guy nodded but definitely creased his eyebrows going through the list of Phils.
"Does 'Mister Phil' have very little hair right here?" He waved his fingers at the top of his head causing me to giggle and nod, "What is Coulson doing with a kid?" He mumbled to himself before standing, "Here, I've got something that can get you warm." That would actually be nice, my hands were numb and the joints were creaking from how stiff they were. Huh, much easier than I was thinking it would be, the moment he had his back turned I slid my rubber duckie into the USP slot of the main computer. It thankfully did not cause the pop up you see in the movies where it proclaims a loading bar on the computer screen one is trying to obtain files from. Seriously that kind of hindrance could only be thought of in the movies.
This little sucker, now this guy is special. He was coded to where I just had to leave it plugged in for two minutes then detach the outer hardware from the bit that will stay behind in the computer. That little present will wait five minutes before the trigger of the virus is set off, or it will be activated sooner if one were to try and remove that bob from the slot. Course this was a silent and deadly virus. It would take about ooh a couple hours to well and truly enact the irreversible damage and be noticed by the computer guys. Either way, virus out, computer purged, and hopefully the servers to branch the virus out. If Phil thought what I did before was bad, well, he is in for a surprise that will no doubt give the man an ulcer.
"Here you go," he came back with what looked like a shock blanket or a fire retardant blanket from the first aid kit, "nice and warm right in a jiffy! Do you know why you are with Mister Phil sweetie?"
"He took me 'way from my Daddy." I added a sniffle, swinging my feet from the really high stool I was sat on. My gamble turned out to have brought me my fortune, the guy's face darkened considerably in the way only one with a child could. Probably imagining his own being taken if I'm not mistaken.
"Did your Daddy do something bad?" Well he wasn't jumping to conclusions, rather trying to eliminate the worst options first...be it he thinks a kid would know the specifics of adults screwing the pooch. I just shook my head earnestly, eyes wide to show the insincere sincerity of the act. Either way he bought it. "Well, I've got just the thing to make you feel better, how would you like some chocolate? It's my secret stash!" He jokingly whispered, using a tactic I myself have used quite often in the past.
While he was rooting around in a drawer I glanced at the clock at the wall, c'mon...c'mon! Ten more seconds, the wait is absolutely excruciating because of how much I was convinced I was going to get caught the longer I was here. The biggest rule when fucking iver a government organization, DON'T GET CAUGHT YOU MORON, that's about it. Those who are caught can't even defend themselves because there is no way to lie around it. Oh thank GOD, pulling the outer mechanism of the duckie I looked up at the clock noting the time. I have to get out of the base before the computers all go to shit, because chemical bomb taking out a crate of Fig Newtons and possibly making some agents have respiratory distress would be nothing compared to a cyber attack. Phil was willing to let that one go, for the most part, but this would actually by the definition make me a bit of a terrorist...kinda and in any case I wanted to be long gone by the time that happened.
"I need to go potty." I said before trying to make a beeline to the door.
"Alright I can take you-"
"No! I know where it is." My adult self bled through there hoping to make it seem like I didn't want the 'scary unknown adult' to accompany me to the bathroom. Really that was... actually very much a real thing I can't be in public restrooms anymore without the fear and if someone who I didn't know tried to go with me it's an instant flashback inducing panic attack. Apparently being kidnapped and killing people screws with your psyche, who knew?
"Really, it's alright." I however just shook my head very firmly, almost frantic, but something about it made him suddenly step back. "Oh, oh okay no go on. If you know the way. Tell 'Mister Phil' he should get you some fresh clothes okay honey?" He was actually nice, I hope he doesn't lose his job over my escape and looting.
I have proven that it was easy to get to the cars, in fact they never even blinked with me near them every other time. They seemed to think that Dad wouldn't go so far as to teach me how to drive a car, which they were right but haha shows what everyone else knows. My problem? Height, I simply am not big enough to even reach the gas pedal. Last we checked with that pediatrician Pepper has forcefully dragged me to against my will I was like barely 3 foot 9 inches tall. Basically I am short as all hell and I did not weigh much either, which probably explains why people keep just picking me up like some purse dog.
In any case that is kind of a later problem, one must find the key to the vehicle before worrying about whether they can drive it. Problem a before b and c if you will. Now Shield is logical and somewhat orderly so where is the most likely place they would- am I suffering from 'main character syndrome' or something? The keys to each and every car were all hanging in the exit of the base with a handy dandy little label to each showing which car they belong to. I must have died and gone to heaven, but I refuse to say the word that will screw me. Like saying the M-word in a theatre you just don't.
The poor car I chose had leather seats and my freezing dumbass in sopping wet clothing just soaking in. Sorry car, hope you can forgive me, not just for that since but for how reckless this is about to get.
Righto, before someone sees; seat as far forward as I can, seat adjusted to where I can pretty much reach the pedals and see over the wheel, check and double check.
Thank God these people tinted the windows as much as they did, probably assumed I was an agent out to get like friggen Oreos or something. But I was off! Can't even begin to explain how excited I was feeling with the escape and...my God this is a small town how was I already at Main Street? No matter, just makes things easier in the long run, just need to get to that stupid trailer before they leave to break out Thor and presto pronto I am OUTTIE BABY!
I.F.I.F.I.F.I.F
It was amusing seeing Darcy Lewis charging out to meet the blacked out car I was driving as if it insulted her mother. It only increased seeing how she stuttered to a halt seeing me hop out.
"Janey? Can babies suddenly drive cars?" She shouted over her shoulder in complete alarm.
"Babies and toddlers no, however I come bearing gifts. Take me to your leader!" I cheesed even though I really didn't have the time for it. Darcy grabbed the offered hand and dragged me over to the scientist- Jane... something?- and I was unceremoniously dropped into a seat at what made up their kitchen table. Here was an old man, another scientist whose name I can't remember, and Jane who looked to have the same case of itchy feet I was having. I seemed to have barely caught them.
"Darcy, why is there a kid here?" She seemed ready to go full on 'c'mon what were you thinking' lecture so I cut in.
"Don't worry I'm not going to take long, just here with a present because our resident Blondie wasn't able to get this," I waved the duckie in my fingers in a 'voila' motion, "for you. Your life work, Shield secrets, any other dirty laundry I could get my hands on. Sor-"
"How did you do this? Who are you?!" Jane cut in which I gave her an almighty scowl.
"I was getting there, now shut up a minute. Anyways, sorry about the us sheer abundance of STUFF in there I didn't exactly have the time to sort through it. Escaping kind of took president actually."
They stared at the duckie in open mouthed awe, I know I kind of live for these moments. "You never said who you were." Old guy pointed out, which honestly sooo last Tuesday's news.
"Righto, where's the computer you used to forge Blondie's identification?" Thankfully Darcy was the most helpful one in the room and pulled the laptop from one of the kitchen drawers. "This little doodad when I do this," I popped it into the designated slot, "will send a copy of all downloads into this device. Which I recommend really hiding so that they don't figure out what I did when they come round."
"What do you mean when they come around?" The scientist was spluttering in alarm.
"Oh nothing, just may or may not have escaped their base with that stolen car outside." Jane was gobsmacked and frozen, however I got the best in universe reference to something else I have seen in my entire life.
Miss Darcy Lewis said, "Man puts my Juvie record to shame," oh my God this universe is amazing.
"That's not counting the chemical weapon I set off in the base." I grinned at her before pulling my duckie and hopping down from the chair.
"Wait where are you going?"
"Away before they catch up weren't you listening? I'd go liberate big and beefy though before my not so nice present is found, you have about maybe an hour and a half for a window of opportunity."
I was almost going to be enigmatic and leave just like that before the old man spoke again, "You're Stark's kid aren't you?" I turned and gave them a wink, and meandered back over to the car that would serve its purpose until I could ditch it.
That is, that was the plan until I saw a certain someone leaning against the side of the car.
"Where have you been?! Beds empty, no note! Car gone! You could have died you could have been seen!" His face wrinkled with confusion and a slight amount of amusement.
"What the hell are you talking about Anika?"
I rolled my eyes, words of wisdom were just lost upon him. "Doesn't matter, you'll understand when you're older." He scoffed out a laugh.
"I can see you've caused some trouble, you'll have to tell me all about it." I grinned widely and swung up to land on his hip.
"You don't even know the half of it! Explain in the new car on the way to New York?"
"How'd you know I had another car?"
"Do you wanna hear about me being accused of terrorism or not!"
He laughed again and opened the door to a silver van, "You know I love your stories,"
"How did you find me?" A very good question with the insanity of being driven around like someone was trying to lose a tail at the start of this misadventure.
He chuckled, starting the engine and pulling off, "I was always there маленькая звезда, just needed to wait for you to get yourself out to join in this dance."
"I knew you'd come, always." The adrenaline and excitement drained out and a massive yawn came with a wave of exhaustion. Before he could even open his mouth I tucked down into the jacket that was placed right under my head.
"Sleep baby, we've got time ahead." A hand passed through the ratted knots of my hair and I drifted off to the rumbles of the engine and the deep humming of big band music from so long ago that Bucky only ever did for me and me alone.
A/N
The muse, the muse has struck and this monstrosity has been borne in its wake. I'm not sure about this one if only because I'm starting to get to the bigger plot things that will all come to a head like a scary zit...later…...much later….like much much much much later. Also shout-out to Blu3b3rryT3a who managed to hit the trio of points that I was going to cover in this chapter in their review from the previous chapter about an hour before I uploaded I applaud you.
