A.N. Hello all! Thank you for all your kind words! Being home all the time has not been super great for my mental health so your support has meant the world to me. I think I've gotten a second wind inspiration wise, and I'm excited now that I've somewhat adjusted to working from home to have more time to write. As always, a big thank you to rotehexe for betaing. Lastly I hope that everyone stays healthy and safe during these super uncertain times. But as Dumbledore once said, "Happiness can be found even in the darkest times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
As always, big thanks to Ashes Ascending, Fast Frank, Brownie-123, Ullaich, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, Sincere J. Moon, kissesandchocolate, krankykittie, and two guests for reviewing chapter 23!
Lily Potter was full of surprises, but volunteering to nurse Hermione back to health after her mysterious brush with death really took the cake.
The official reason behind Hermione's spontaneous need to be bedridden for three months was a failed reconnaissance mission. At first, it had only been a younger healer from St. Mungo's who had attended to her, and Hermione was so dazed that she couldn't even remember the man's name. A weekly regimen of blood replenishing potion and healing one of Hermione's ribs a week seemed to be all she could stomach for a while. It had been three weeks before she'd even been able to stand on her own. Dumbledore had been able to stand and talk after he'd taken the potion so Hermione hadn't been quite ready for how differently the potion affected her.
Everytime she moved, it felt like all of her limbs had been weighed down by lead. It seemed to focus on her chest, and after a month, she finally asked the healer to fetch Dumbledore.
He had been cryptic and unhelpful as always for a majority of their discussion, but his best guess was that the potion was either affecting her more based on her size, or it was feeding off the dark magic residue from the scar on her chest. He did offer her some cleansing concoction; a potion he'd made for her and despite her suspicions and worry, it had worked.
James and Lily had been the first people to visit her (after she could move somewhat freely without needing a lie down), and when they'd come Lily had assigned herself as Hermione's live-in nurse. She had to admit that the woman's help had been invaluable in the first few days of her recovery, for the time she didn't spend sleeping. But that had been a month ago…and it was no longer fully welcomed.
"I am fully capable of walking to the kitchen to make a cuppa!" Hermione insisted, harrumphing in an annoyed sign as the redhead glared at her. She loved Lily, but she was about ready to strangle the overprotective witch.
"If you so much as move one toe outside of this bed, I will tell James. You know I've only just got him to stop crying over your near miss. For a bloody Auror, he is the most sensitive man in the world." It was interesting to watch Lily seem cross at James and yet have a smitten smile. They were so in love, and Hermione grumpily crawled back to her comfortable sitting position and allowed Lily to dote on her.
For whatever reason, the red head seemed happy to entrap Hermione during her recovery…or urm… take care of her she supposed was the more accepted way to address the situation. Lily slipped out of the room and down the hall, her light humming fading slightly as she walked away from the bedroom.
Hermione had been on (forced) bedrest for nearly two months now, and she was desperate to move around. Regulus (via coin) and Remus (via in-person visits) kept her updated about their mission. Although Reg hadn't been very responsive to attempts to contact him in those first few weeks, he finally got around to communicating during her second month. Lucius had the diary at the ready, but Hermione had advised that they hold off on acting on any of the Horcruxes until they had a solid plan to destroy them. It was already risky enough to have taken the locket without planting a fake. But if her plan went accordingly, Voldemort would be long dead before he ever even thought to check.
In a strange and completely unexpected turn of events, Sirius and Regulus had taken to brotherly bonding like birds to a feeder. Lily had complained to Hermione multiple times about how Sirius was 'seemingly unreachable' now that he was working on some sort 'secret project'. She hoped one day Regulus wouldn't have to hide anymore.
Although Lily was more right than she could know about Sirius being unreachable. Voldemort had apparently been calling for Regulus for several days following the Cave. Remus said that he'd never seen anything as painful as what Regulus endured when his mark burned and he ignored it; worse than any cruciatus he'd ever heard of. Between figuring out the fidelius charm on his flat and taking care of Regulus after his…well after all the torture, there really was no time for social occasions.
He had managed to visit her once, early on in her bed rest. Lily was gathering groceries from the market down the hill, so Hermione had a brief moment of solitude that had quickly been interrupted by her long-haired wizard.
The floo between his flat and Hermione's home had been connected when she'd been brought back home for her recovery, and she knew that the only people who had access to it were Remus and Regulus (and by virtue of his new living arrangements, Sirius).
"Looking much more alive than last time I saw you kitten." Sirius teased, his toothy grin soothing the ache Hermione had felt in her chest. She truly had missed him more than she would ever admit.
"Yes well not being dead will do that to a person." Hermione joked quietly, attempting to straighten herself from the position she'd been reading in on the couch.
Sirius barked out a laugh and brushed some soot off of his leather jacket. Hermione could always tell how cold it was by the shirt Sirius wore under his favorite accessory. Today it was a cream colored Henley that looked to be rather thick, so it was a safe bet to guess that it was quite chilly.
"What are you doing here? Is Regulus okay?" Hermione asked, sudden panic filling her as she jumped to the worst possible conclusion. There had been near radio silence from the younger Black brother ever since they returned from the cave, and her mind ran free with the possible worst case scenarios in its free time. Remus certainly hadn't helped with his information supply.
"Reg is…he'll be fine. I'm here for you." He sat next to her on the couch, his weight dipping down the cushions and pushing her slightly towards him. She missed the smell of him, the warmth that radiated from his skin…she missed him more than she could allow herself to.
"Remus said…"
"I know what Remus said. Chewed him out for hours for worrying you. Reg is fine. He knew what he was doing and he chose to do it. How are you doing?" He brushed a hair away from her face in a way that felt so intimate she felt a blush begin to creep onto her face.
"I'm peachy. Doing just fine." Hermione joked, feeling a smile breaking across her features. Sirius smiled back at her, that same boyish smirk she'd come to love in her time in the past. "You're…Sirius does this mean you're not angry with me anymore. I…the last time I saw you…" She trailed off, uncertain of what to say. Tampering with his memory had been necessary at the time, but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt him.
"Oh I'm absolutely furious at you. Probably will be for some time, but Reg and I had a talk. Some blows may have been exchanged. By the way I heard you taught him that bat bogey hex of yours and I am quite displeased about it." He bumped her with his shoulder then, his features sincere for once. There was something weighing on them both and she knew that whatever was broken between them wouldn't be fixed until it was talked through.
"I'm so sorry Sirius. I just…" Hermione began, but Sirius just pulled her small hand into his and shook his head.
"I understand kitten. I do. Doesn't mean that it doesn't still sting. Reg…he made me realize that you are sacrificing so much and if…" His voice caught for a moment, and Hermione found herself placing her hand on his face, brushing his cheek with her thumb gently. His stormy grey eyes were piercing when they finally met hers. "I can wait. Once…" He made a sweeping gesture with his free hand. "All of this is over. The war. It will have been worth it."
Hermione didn't quite know what she was feeling in the moment, but the most prominent feeling had to be relief. She had been so worried that he would maintain this distance; it had been slowly killing her. "Are you sure? I…I come with a lot of baggage Sirius. The things I saw in my time…the things I experienced."
Sirius caught Hermione's hand as she went to pull it away. "You burn so bright Hermione. This whole fucking world is so terrible, but when I'm with you…You burn so bright I feel like I'm going fucking blind. If I had to wait 100 years for you it would be worth it."
Their lips met, and for a moment Hermione wasn't sure who'd made the first move. Behind this kiss was the longing of their time lost, all the apologies that had been left unsaid, all the regrets and hopes…everything they felt for each other was behind them.
The sound of the front door opening finally broke them apart and Sirius looked frantically at Hermione as he jumped up from the couch. "I've got to go." He blurted, hearing Lily's voice chatting from the front room.
"Sirius…" Hermione had called out after him, her heart beating so fast she felt it might burst.
Sirius had already stepped into the fire, holding a fleeting handful of the green powder in his hand. One look from him and Hermione knew that he knew exactly what she was about to say.
"I know." His lips spoke intently, as his body disappeared into the flames.
Hermione was forcibly pulled out of her thoughts by Lily's humming growing once again in volume, alerting her to the witch's approach.
"I still can't believe how much he cried. I didn't know I mean that much to him. I've only just met you all." There was a slight giggle in her voice, but even she could hear how strained it was. She truly did love Lily and had come to see just how much of his mum Harry had inherited, but there was a necessary distance between them created by all the secrets Hermione had to keep.
"What's going on in that big brain of yours? Did Sirius do something stupid again? I will hex him for you, you know that." Lily's comforting joke did do something to calm Hermione's worries, and she was able to place a smile that no longer felt quite so forced.
"Not quite…well I mean he's always doing something barmy, but no it's not him. Just restless I suppose." It was true enough, and Lily seemed to buy it as she handed the brunette witch her cuppa.
The tea mug that Lily had chosen for Hermione was her favorite, although she doubted the witch knew that. There was nothing quite so special about it, but it was blue and felt somewhat like home. A chip decorated the top of the cup near the handle from where Ron had dropped it one day at breakfast. He'd spent so long putting the mug back together, but they never did find that one last piece. As they sat quickly sipping their tea, with Hermione quarantined to her bed and Lily sitting in an old and creaky wooden rocking chair, a comfortable silence fell over the pair.
"How's Alice doing?" Hermione pondered aloud after their brief silence. She hadn't properly seen Alice since the Friday dinner before last and she was missing the rambunctious and utterly exasperating witch. Sometimes she liked to wonder where Alice got all that energy from, but then again the feisty witch hardly seemed to be a giver of secrets.
"What…" Lily reacted instinctively, clearly having recovered her thoughts from whatever land they'd been dreaming in. "Oh…urm…good. Yeah she's good. We actually well…" Lily seemed nervous, biting her lip uncertainly and then glancing down the hall as if someone might overhear what she was about to say. Her entire posture seemed to tense, and for a moment Hermione worried that the witch might shatter the mug in her hand from the tightness of her grip.
"Lily what is it? You've gone pale as a sheet. What's wrong?" Hermione did her best to move forward, but she was still weak and her abdomen fought against the sudden motion. Fighting to hold in her sharp breath from the pain, she watched as Lily drew closer.
"Have you ever just mucked it all up so massively that you're not quite certain how to fix it?" Lily's voice was thick with misery as she talked with Hermione and it was the first time that she'd ever seen the ginger witch look scared.
"Lily whatever it is, we'll figure it out. What have you mucked up? What needs fixing?" The ginger witch stood suddenly, moving too far from the bed for Hermione to comfort her, and despite the argument from her body, she pushed herself out of her confinement.
Lily placed her back gently on the doorway, as if the frame was the only thing preventing her from falling. "I…you can't tell a soul…no one. Especially James." Hermione nodded her head tightly, a few strands of her curly hair falling out from the loose bun at the nape of her neck. She grew closer to Lily, grabbing the witch's arm and guiding her back to the chair she had been sitting in. When Lily was settled, Hermione sat on the edge of the bed, never letting go of her hand.
"I'm pregnant…well Alice and I. It's truly absurd but we took the potion together and they both shined gold." Hermione vaguely remembered mention of a pregnancy detection potion from one of the books she'd read in the Black's library. Suddenly the world around her fell to pieces. How could she have forgotten…Harry. The whole reason she had gone to the past in the first place…her best friend, and his mum and dad
"Here we are in the middle of bloody war and I have to be so irresponsible. I mean what was I thinking. I can tell it was Halloween. James had just been so cute in that cowboy costume and…well you don't want to know."
"Lily that's…" Hermione's breath ran out of her lungs like she'd been hit, and for once the tears that brimmed her eyes were those of joy. Nearly throwing herself at Lily, she catapulted off the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around the pregnant witch. "That's incredible news! You are going to be the best mum." All the sadness and self-pity Hermione had been feeling for herself suddenly drained from her and it was like the fire of her singular purpose reignited in her soul.
Lily melted into Hermione's arms and allowed her to pet her hair. After all, it was the first true smile she'd gotten from the witch in weeks. When they finally parted, Lily laughed with her full body at what a mess they both looked. Summoning the tissue box from the bathroom, the two women dried their eyes and made some very attractive noises when they blew their noses.
After a minute or so, they looked distinctly less like banshees and Hermione moved back to where she'd been laying on the bed and patted the space next to her for Lily to join.
"Growing up I never really had any female friends." Hermione admitted suddenly, as Lily got herself comfortable on the mattress. Her head rested turned into to the center so that they were looking right at each other.
"Me neither. Not until Alice really. Oh and Mary and Marlene of course. Although my absolute best friend is a…was a boy." There was a distinct souring of Lily's face when she reminisced and Hermione knew she must've been thinking about Snape. There was a chance for redemption for the man still and Hermione knew it was only a matter of time before he turned away from Voldemort…she just hoped that he could be one of the people she saved as well.
"Do you want to hear about my best friend? He was the bravest boy I've ever known. You remind me a lot of him." Lily simply nodded her head lightly, adjusting herself so that she was resting with her head towards the ceiling. The spell Hermione had cast to make her bedroom look like the night sky fascinating her as the sun set outside the small window on the far wall.
"His name was Harry. Probably caused me more stress than anything else but he was so kind. Fierce when he needed to be, and often when he shouldn't have been. People liked to say that he would never have survived without me but quite honestly, I wouldn't have been able to survive without him. He was my first true friend; the first person to look at me for who I was and decide to take it all, the good and the bad. We had others along the way, but he was always my best friend." Hermione didn't realize she'd been rambling and her face grew hot. Clutching the soft fabric of the blanket under her, she turned to face the ceiling as well.
"What happened to him? He sounds like a good man." The silence that enwrapped them in the four long painful moments before Hermione responded was so thick that Hermione nearly felt its weight on her chest.
"He was the best man, but he's gone. Killed by a death eater. He died saving our friend. I like to think he would've been proud to have died as he lived, bravely." Lily's hand groped blindly for Hermione's hand and when they connected, she squeezed lightly.
"I like that name…Harry." The witches turned once again to look at each other, Lily's green eyes too similar and yet not similar enough to Harry's. "Harry Potter. Has a nice ring to it."
"Yeah…yeah it does." As the darkness of the night began to creep into the room, the two witches fell asleep next to each other, Lily clutching one hand to her stomach. Hermione had to protect him…had to protect them all.
