"Can Cheeto come?"
"Cheeto likes to stay in the apartment, Bub. You'll be sad if he runs away."
Hisami pouts the entire way to the small costume shop, lamenting the absence of their stupid cat, but he quickly abandons his poor mood when they make it into the cluttered store, and his short attention span won't allow him to do anything other than touch every single sale item.
"Pick whatever you want, but remember we're trying to be sneaky," he says, and Hisami is off like a shot. They're the only customers inside, and the store owner stares open-mouthed at Katsuki, even with his baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. He's clearly recognized him, so he takes the hate off and stuffs it in the back pocket of him jeans. He goes up to the register, giving the man his most intimidating stare.
"G-Ground Zero!"
"Hi, what do I have to do to make sure you don't mention that I came in here?" Katsuki says, getting right down to business. His intimidation factor is immediately undercut when Hisami screeches from some far corner of the store.
"Papa, look! I'm Pink-chan!" He's wearing a curly pink wig and glasses with yellow star-shaped frames. Clearly, Hisami doesn't care one bit for being nondescript and sneaky on their mission.
"Looks great, Bubba," he says, even though he's almost positive Hisami isn't listening anymore. Katsuki turns back to the man behind the counter. "I'd really like to keep my son's identity under wraps, for safety reasons, obviously. So, what do you want?"
"Oh, I won't say anything, sir. I promise!"
Katsuki narrows his eyes. The guy seems genuine enough—probably because Katsuki's just as scary as Hisami is cute, but there's nothing wrong with greasing a few palms when it comes to his kid's safety.
"Hmm. Well, I'm going to buy three of everything my son is currently breaking and unpackaging as my thanks for your discretion," he says, placing his credit card on the counter between them. He pauses momentarily for effect. "And if word gets out about my kid, I'll know where to find you, yeah?" Katsuki says it sweetly enough, but there's a fire in his eyes and a threatening promise in the curve of his grin.
"Of course," the man says, sufficiently afraid. He goes after Hisami, and finds him diving headfirst into a bargain bin of sequins and feathers, and he knows their outing is about to go off the rails as his son pops out of the bin with a purple sequined cape clutched in a tiny fist, ridiculous glasses askew on his nose.
"Very subtle, Bub," he says, smirking. Hisami sticks his tongue out at him. Hisami comes away with his choices looking like some funkadelic wizard, and he demands that Katsuki wear whatever he picks out for him. That's how he ends up in front of a mirror with a long black wig, regretting everything.
"I look like fucking Aizawa-sensei," he mutters under his breath, while Hisami holds a blue scarf up, presumably trying to decide if it would look good on Katsuki, or if he should add it to his own outfit.
"Language, Papa," he says, pinching Katsuki's leg. "Blue is not your color."
"You have no filter, you know that?"
"I don't know what that means." Hisami gives him a blank look, using a fingertip to draw his starry shades down his nose. Katsuki shakes his head. Of all the places he thought life would take him, he never could've guessed he'd be in a costume shop, his head sweating in an Aizawa wig. His life is definitely more colorful with Hisami in it, and he's not just talking about the gold scarf around his neck.
—
They've had a breakthrough. After countless bumbling, stilted, heavily accented conversations in Japanese, Enzo casually mentioned that his English is much better. Izuku hasn't taken an English course since his first year of university, but he's proficient enough to carry a conversation.
It's a lot easier to learn about Enzo while he's speaking English. Izuku has to strain a bit more to make sense of the words, but it's a much smoother conversation. He's having a great time, actually. He likes the curve of Enzo's mouth when he speaks. The roll of his tongue makes him think about kissing. He feels hot just thinking about it, so he gulps down some water.
And then a flash of pink over Enzo's shoulder catches his eye. Two tables away, there's a little boy with pink hair that looks alarmingly like his son. Next to him, hiding behind a menu, is Kacchan… in a ratty black wig. The sight of it sends Izuku into a tailspin. He sucks water into his lungs, and ends up coughing out half of it down the front of his shirt.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm great!" He says, still choking and breaking. His eyes meet Kacchan's again, just over his menu. He tips his head up just enough to reveal his mouth.
"Ambush," he mouths around a snarky smirk.
Izuku balks when Hisami looks at him and gives a big wave. He looks like he's about to scream something, but Kacchan thankfully stops him, whispering something. Hisami makes himself smaller in his chair and puts a finger to his lips, and Kacchan does the same. They're sneaking.
Izuku's stomach is in knots the rest of his date. Enzo suspects nothing, and seemingly doesn't notice Izuku constantly checking over his shoulder. He rushes through the date, all thoughts of kissing gone out of his mind. He can't kiss someone when Hisami is here, not to mention Kacchan. He's suddenly so frustrated he could cry. He can't be mad at Kacchan—it feels like he's not allowed to be because didn't some small part of him want this? Isn't this what he imagined when he used Kacchan the way he did? Maybe this is what he deserves. Maybe this is the other shoe dropping because he shouldn't be allowed to have something as wonderful as the experience of raising Hisami without something else to worry about.
"Are you feeling okay? You barely ate." Enzo looks concerned at the end of dinner, maybe a little nervous that he's not enjoying himself. Izuku feels even worse, guilting roiling in his intestines.
"I'm feeling a bit sick, actually," he lies. "Do you think we can do a rain check on the movie? I'm sorry."
"Of course! Is there anything I can do?"
"Ah, no. I'm okay." He smiles at Enzo, but he knows it's weak by the subtle dimming of his eyes.
"Alright. Give me a moment and then we'll head out."
Izuku nods and Enzo excuses himself to the restroom. As soon as he turns the corner Izuku is out of his seat and heading for Kacchan's table. The moment he sits down, Hisami crawls across the table into his lap.
"Button, what did I say about climbing?" He sounds tired, and Kacchan seems to pick up on that.
"You okay?"
Izuku can't believe he has the audacity to ask him that when he brought their kid out to ambush his date. He doesn't want to fight in front of Hisami, but he feels like he needs to say something, so he says it in English.
"Do you really think it's appropriate to bring him here? You knew I was on a date."
"No fair, Papa! I don't know what you're saying." He pokes Izuku's chest, pouting.
"Do you think it's appropriate to ignore me for a month when we have a kid to take care of together?" Kacchan's English is flawless. Figures.
"This isn't the place to talk about that."
"Well, you keep dodging me. I had to do something," he grumbles unapologetically. Hisami is fed up with being ignored.
"Papa, I want to talk too. Look at my glasses."
"I love your glasses. What are you two doing here?"
"Catching villains!" He scratches at his wig, pushing it around so it's lopsided on his head. Sweaty blonde curls fall out of the bottom of the wig.
"Did you find any?"
"No, but Papa says it's because they're scared of me, so I did good. Who was that man with you?"
Izuku gives Kacchan a look that says this is why you shouldn't have brought him.
"My friend, Enzo," Izuku says softly, and Hisami pouts.
"I don't like him. Papa is way better. You should come home with us!"
"What a great idea, Bub. We can go get dessert."
"Kacchan," he says, and it's a warning. He doesn't want to do this right now and he doesn't want Kacchan to use their son to get what he wants.
"Dessert! Yes, Papa, please. You never come to Papa's house, and we miss you." Hisami latches on to Izuku, and it's like a checkmate. Kacchan wins, as usual.
—
Katsuki doesn't like to admit when he's wrong, so he just doesn't do it. He doesn't want to admit that this was a bad, manipulative idea that probably ruined Deku's night, so he won't admit it. Still, watching the light leave Deku's eyes the moment he knows he's cornered makes Katsuki feel like the biggest shit in the world. It only gets worse when Deku's date gets back from the bathroom to find Izuku at their table with a three year old in his lap.
It's an understatement to say that this man is good looking. This mad is a beautiful specimen of the male species—soft brown eyes, flawless olive skin, and a shirt just tight enough to hint at some serious muscle—and there's Katsuki, in a ratty, cheap wig, staring at him like an idiot. Christ, if this is the kind of people that show interest in Deku, why the hell did he need him to have a kid?
"Midoriya?"
Deku goes stiff and looks behind him. He manages to give Katsuki his best glare before fully turning his head.
"Hey, sorry. My, uh… family is here. I just ran into them."
Enzo—that gorgeous, beautiful, sexy man—eyes Hisami, and Katsuki wonders if Deku even told him he had a kid. Judging by the look on his face, he had no idea. Hisami pushes his glasses down again, eyeing him critically.
"You're pretty, but I don't like you."
"Hisami," Izuku says—it's almost a hiss. Katsuki's stunt tonight has obviously left Deku weary and with waning patience. Katsuki steps in.
"Hey, Bubba, let's wait for Papa outside."
After some griping from Hisami, he manages to bow out. Hisami chatters on about their mission and how itchy his wig is, but Katsuki is only half- listening. He's watching Deku and Enzo talk in the restaurant. He feels… off. It's a mix of the way he felt when he won his first-year sports festival because Todoroki let him—disappointed and cheated—and when he came second in the second-year sports festival—like second place is the first loser. He's not sure why he feels like he's in second place right now, but he doesn't like it. Katsuki fucked up royally, and he was already skating on thin ice when it comes to his relationship with Deku.
