Chapter 21: Quiet
"Can Carl stay the night, Mommy?" Sophia begged, as Carol popped a movie into the DVD player for the kids.
"School's tomorrow, kiddo," Carol pointed out. "If Carl stays over, you two will stay up all night."
"No we won't," Carl insisted.
"I'll tell you what," Carol said with a little laugh. "Let's plan this, ok? Your mom's gonna be here in about an hour to pick you up. Why don't we plan on next Thursday night? You two are both going to your dad's Friday night, so it'll work out."
"Yeah!" Sophia giggled.
"Cool! Can we go to the zoo?"
"Whoa," Carol laughed. "Let's talk to your mom first and make sure she's ok with it, alright?" The kids settled down, and Carol headed into the kitchen to start popping some popcorn. A couple of minutes later, Carl came into the kitchen and hopped up on the stool at the counter. He put his hands on the marble countertop and stared at Carol. "Something I can help you with, Carl?"
"My mom's having a baby." Carol nearly dropped the bag of popcorn kernels.
"What?"
"She thinks I don't know. I heard her and Shane talking about it the other day. They're trying to figure out how to tell me. That's where she had to go today. The baby doctor."
"Oh." Carol sat down at the counter across from him. "How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know," Carl said with a shrug. "I mean, Sophia's a pretty cool little sister. But I don't get to see her much except on the weekends. It'll be weird having another kid in the house most of the week."
"Yeah. That might be an adjustment," Carol said with a little shrug.
"Well," Carl said slowly, "I thought maybe I could come stay with you. You know, when the baby comes."
"Carl, why do you want to come stay with me?"
"I don't know."
"Is everything ok at home?" Carol asked.
"Yeah. I mean, Shane's really cool. I just wonder what's gonna happen when the baby comes."
"What do you mean?"
Carol stared at the boy for a minute. She grabbed a cookie from the cookie jar and pushed it across the counter at him. Carl looked at it, sighed and then brought it to his mouth for a bite. Finally, he swallowed and took a deep breath.
"When dad and mom had me, they split up. Then you and dad had Sophia. You stayed together a while, but then…" Carol nodded then, and Carl took another bite of his cookie.
"You're afraid your mom and Shane will split up after the baby's born."
"Well, yeah."
"Carl, you can't think like that. Your mom and Shane seem pretty happy."
"So did you and dad," Carl pointed out. "Then you guys got divorced, and I don't get to see you. If mom and Shane have a baby, they could start arguing and decide not to be married anymore. I don't wanna be there if that happens."
"Hey," Carol said softly. "Look, you are welcome here anytime, Carl. But give your mom and Shane a chance. Just because your mom and dad didn't work out, just because your dad and I didn't work out, that doesn't mean your mom and Shane won't. Give them a chance to show you that, okay?" Carl nodded then, but he still didn't seem convinced. "Maybe you should talk to your mom about this."
"No! I don't want her to know."
"She should know that you're worried, kiddo."
"I don't want her to tell Shane."
"Can I tell you something?" Carol asked. Carl nodded. "Talking about what worries you usually makes you feel a lot better. And talking to me is okay. I'm glad you want to talk to me. But you really should at least talk to your mom if you aren't comfortable with talking to Shane just yet. She loves you so much, Carl. I bet if you talk to her, you'll feel a lot better."
"Okay. But promise you won't tell her what I told you?"
"Only if you promise to talk to your mom. Maybe after she tells you about the baby. It sounds like something she'd want to tell you first, you know?" Carl sighed but finally nodded.
"Ok."
"Good. Now get over here." Carl grinned, and he slid off the chair and made his way around to give Carol a big hug. She kissed the top of his head and squeezed him tight. "Love you."
"Love you, too." Carol let him go, and she nodded toward the living room.
"Go on and watch your movie. I'll bring the popcorn in when it's done, ok?" Carl nodded and turned to leave, while Carol turned her attention back to making the popcorn.
...
Lori had picked Carl up a couple of hours ago. Sophia was finally in bed. Carol had soaked in a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine before finally getting out and pulling on her pajamas. Now, she was laying in bed with her cell phone in her hand, scrolling through random pages on the internet. When her phone buzzed in her hand, she was pleasantly surprised to see Daryl had texted her.
You still awake?
She felt her heart begin to pump a little faster. She sighed softly and bit her bottom lip, unable to suppress the smile on her face.
Yeah. What's up?
Just got home from work.
It's late.
Yeah. I know.
Are you working at the garage tomorrow?
Yeah. Gonna get home and get some rest. Just wanted to see if you were up.
I'm up. Call me?
Moments later, the phone began to ring, and Carol quickly answered to call.
"Hey. You doing okay?"
"Yeah. Had to work over a little. Don't mind though. It's extra money."
"How's that going, anyway?"
"It's retail. I might just be stocking shelves, but it don't stop asshole customers from getting on my nerves."
"Try working the ER. You'd be amazed how many times I've had somebody ask to speak to my manager." She let out a little laugh and absently toyed with the edge of her sleep shirt.
"We still on for Friday?" he asked softly.
"Yeah. Of course. Wouldn't miss it. How's Lucy?"
"She's ok. She texted me and said she saw her doctor today. Guess everything's ok."
"Good. I'm glad."
"Yeah. Me too." He let out a heavy breath. "Strange what hearin' that heartbeat did. Shit, I didn't wanna get attached, 'cause there's still a good chance it ain't mine. But I walked in that room, and I heard that heartbeat, and I saw it on the screen, and all I could think is this might be mine. I might be this kid's dad. And I don't know how to explain that feeling."
"Awe," Carol said softly. "I think it's awe. I remember seeing Sophia for the first time on that screen. Up until that moment, I had a hard time believing it was really happening. I mean, I knew it was. I knew it was real and I was going to have a baby, but when I finally saw her on that screen, it really felt real." She laughed a little. "You know, I always thought it would be different. That it would feel real the second I knew. I always thought it took longer for the dads to adjust. You know, Rick was just…the second those two lines showed up, he started buying baby stuff. He was ready. I mean, he already had a kid, but he was so excited, and it didn't take him any time to let it sink in. I sort of walked around in a daze until that first appointment."
"Yeah," Daryl murmured. "That's kinda what it felt like. A daze. 'Course I spent a while tryin' to decide if I even wanted to be a dad. Think the kid's gonna know that?"
"No," Carol said gently. "You know, the second you hold that baby in your arms, the second you know that you made that little person, all those worries are just gonna go away."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, and then they'll be replaced by other worries like how to keep them alive, how to pay for college and how the hell you're supposed to keep them from suffocating in their crib at night. It's a whole new anxiety ballgame."
"Great. Can't wait," Daryl huffed out. Carol smiled and stared up at the ceiling. "What'd you do today?"
"Hmm. Short day at work," she mused. "I picked up Carl and Sophia, and we had an early supper and watched a movie. Sophia got a bath and went to bed. Then I got a bath and went to bed. Now I'm just laying here staring up at the ceiling wishing I didn't have to get up early for work tomorrow." She sighed and stretched out in the bed a little.
"Funny. That's what I'm doin'," Daryl chuckled. "This apartment's too damn quiet."
"Yeah. It's quiet here, too." She closed her eyes when she heard him groan on the other line. She realized he must've been stretching, but the sound of it sent a tingle down her spine. "Daryl?"
"Yeah."
"I can't wait until Friday. I like hanging out with you."
"Yeah? Me too," he murmured. "You wanna do what we did last time? Stop for a drink and grab a pizza first?"
"Um, I'm up for anything, really."
"Alright," Daryl said quietly. "I'll let you go. Let you get some sleep."
"Oh. Okay," Carol murmured, trying to mask the disappointment in her voice. "Yeah, it's gonna be a short night, I think."
"Get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Okay," she smiled. "Good night, Daryl."
"Night." Carol put her phone down and turned her light out. She sighed and lay staring up toward the ceiling in the dark, feeling her heart still fluttering in her chest. Her head was swimmy, and she wondered if her blood pressure was up a little.
She found herself getting excited every time he called or texted. She'd told herself this was a friendship, but the more time she spent with him, the more she thought about him, the more it felt like she wanted more. But then again, she was feeling sexually frustrated and in need of relief, and hearing his deep voice in her ear had gotten the blood pumping.
She tried to deny she was starting to have feelings for this guy that was a new friend, but the more she thought about him, the more her body started to turn those thoughts into an entirely different direction. She tossed and turned and thought of hands skimming over her bare skin, of teeth and tongue teasing her neck and mouth, of hips flush against hers.
She wiped the sweat from her forehead and found herself clenching her thighs together.
The fact that she'd had the opportunity to have mind blowing sex that afternoon and had refused was mind boggling to her at this moment. She was getting wet, and her core was starting to throb, and she was just laying there thinking about…him.
Fuck.
She knew she needed to distract herself. She knew she needed to think about something else. It was all so messy and confusing, and they were both getting out of relationships that were wrong for them. They both had so much baggage, but the more she thought about him, the more she wondered if there could be something more. And her body was certainly responding to those thoughts in a way that was making her squirm.
She knew she needed to stop thinking about it. She was yearning for sex, and she was lonely, and Daryl was becoming a great friend. Yes, she was attracted to him, but did that have to mean something right now?
Damn it.
She sighed and rolled onto her back again, running her hand down her chest and her stomach. She bit her lip and squeezed her thighs together again. She tried to ignore it, but as her nipples pebbled against the fabric of her sleep shirt, she groaned and reached into her night stand, pulling out her trusted purple vibrator. If she expected to get any sleep at all, she was going to have to scratch this itch and fast. She turned it on, and a soft buzz filled the room.
Hello, old friend.
Author's Note: Thanks again for reading! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!
