Chapter Twenty-Five

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Rebecca says as soon as Ruth's car is out of view.

"About what?" Nelson answers warily.

"She's different."

Rebecca moves past him and goes into the house. Laura looks at her dad with a very strange look in her eyes and sighs, following her sister inside. Nelson is left standing there wondering what the hell all of that was about. Well, he won't find out staying out on the front step. He goes inside and locks up behind him. He sees Laura's blonde ponytail swish as she jogs up the stairs. Nelson just watches her go.

"It's gonna take her longer to get used to it, but she'll be fine. She didn't see what I saw."

He turns to Rebecca who is standing against the doorframe to the kitchen with her arms folded. "How do you mean?" he asks her.

"Not that I love walking in on my dad having a snog, but it was sort of…illuminating."

"Illuminating?" That's one of those media science terms Rebecca's learned in her university courses, he can tell.

Rebecca nods. "The way you interact with Ruth, I've never seen you like that with Mum. And Laura agrees, she just hasn't accepted it just yet. The way you kissed Ruth and the way you watch her and the way your hand sort of drifts to her…you were never like that with Mum."

Nelson nearly wants to defend himself, tell her that he and Michelle had been together for so long, that new love is all tactile and puppy eyes and such, but he can't bring himself to say the words. Because it's a lie. Yes, he'd fallen head over heels with Michelle when he was twenty-three, but even then, he'd not felt this same kind of aching need for her the way he did for Ruth. He'd not realized his hands drifted to Ruth when she was near, but he wasn't surprised. He just had to touch her as much as he could. He wasn't sure why. But he did. He wanted her and needed her. And once the levies of self-restraint were broken, he could hardly hold himself back anymore.

"I understand what you meant now, that you and Mum weren't as happy as you could have been. I didn't know you were unhappy with her, Dad," Rebecca says sadly.

"Honestly, I didn't either. It wasn't till Mum left that I really thought about it," he admits.

Rebecca crosses over to him and hugs him around the middle. "I'm really glad you're happier now," she says, her voice muffled against his shirt.

Nelson holds her close and kisses her hair. "Me too, love. Thanks for being understanding."

She pulls away to look up at him, still in his embrace. "Did you think I wouldn't be?"

"Not at first, no," he confesses, trying to smile to keep it light. "You weren't my biggest fan when Mum and I called you both to tell you."

"Well I was sort of right, wasn't I? I mean, you did have an affair. But that's not the reason you guys split up."

He nods. "It almost was back when Mum found out."

"When did she find out?" Rebecca asks.

Nelson realizes that in the two days of shouting and fighting over the revelation of Katie's existence, he'd not actually shared too many details, particularly not on the timing. "A few years ago."

"But after Kate was born?"

"Yes."

"And when did you know you were in love with Ruth?"

"Probably just before Kate was born."

Rebecca hugs him again. "Poor Dad."

"Why poor me?" he asks, confused.

"That you spent all that time being less happy than you could have been. That you loved Ruth and couldn't be with her. That you were trying to be a good husband and it made you sad."

Nelson strokes her hair comfortingly. "I always think of Laura as the sensitive one, but you're very intuitive. I'm glad you got that empathy from your mother."

"I think I got some off it from you, too," she replies. "You're a really good dad, and I'm glad you can be there for Katie now."

"Thanks," he murmurs. There's a lump in his throat from all the outpour of emotion. He's somehow got Rebecca's blessing and support in his pursuit of Ruth and Katie. That had not been anything he'd ever expected. But she's a clever girl, his Rebecca. And he loves her so much, he suddenly feels he might burst with it.

At the same time Nelson is having a quiet moment of understanding with Rebecca, Ruth is feeling increasingly anxious as she drives home with Kate. Her daughter is chatting happily in the backseat, going on and on and on about how wonderful Laura and Rebecca are and hoping that they liked her and being absolutely over the moon about having sisters. Ruth does not respond too much, letting her prattle away.

In truth, Ruth cannot manage to string two words together at the moment. Everything about the last two weeks has been the biggest rollercoaster she can imagine. One minute she's with Nelson and feeling happier than she ever has in her life and wanting him to hold her and never let her go. The next minute, the crashing doubt overtakes her again and she's wondering what the bloody hell he could possibly see in her and how they could ever manage to have any kind of future together that didn't end with him growing bored with her and breaking her heart.

And as she's pondering this never-ending dilemma, she drives up to her cottage and sees the motion-activated porchlight on. Before she can be concerned about what could have set it off, Kate squeals, "Cathbad's here!"

"Of course he is," she mutters. She parks the car and takes Kate from the child's seat. And there, sitting on the front porch step with Flint in his lap is Cathbad.

"Hallo Hecate," he greets.

On any given day, Ruth cannot decide if she is more annoyed by Cathbad's use of an ancient goddess or Nelson's use of 'Katie' for her daughter's name. At the moment, she's slightly happier with 'Katie.'

Kate, however, adores her druid-style name. She goes right over to give their friend a hug. "Cathbad, did you bring us chocolate cake?"

He smiles. "Not today. I came to speak to your mother."

"Don't you want to hear about my sisters?" Kate asks, picking up Flint to snuggle him.

Ruth watches Cathbad and sees absolutely no surprise on his face. He answers, "I would love to hear about your sisters. Maybe you can tell me while you mum feeds Flint."

Well, he worked that out rather neatly, Ruth thinks. She unlocks the front door and lets everyone inside. Kate puts Flint on the floor so he can wind his fluffy body around Ruth's ankles, nearly tripping her as he does every evening. "Yes, I'm getting your dinner now," she murmurs.

Cathbad sits on the sofa with Kate while Ruth goes to the kitchen with the cat. She listens as Kate excitedly tells Cathbad about Laura with her pretty blonde hair and her strange love of veg and about Rebecca who is funny and nice and got her a strawberry ice pop and how the three of them watched Frozen with their Dad and isn't it wonderful they've all got the same Dad?

Ruth puts the food in the dish for Flint and sits down at the kitchen table. She can hide from Cathbad for a little while. She is dreading whatever it is he wants to talk to her about. He has a very otherworldly quality about him, always turning up exactly when he's needed, always knowing what's happening without anyone saying. And she knows that he will somehow force her to say things out loud about this whole mess that she's just not ready to confront just yet. Or maybe this will be something entirely different. That would be nice. But Ruth knows she's not that lucky.

A ding sounds in her purse. Ruth fishes her phone out and sees that she's got a text from Nelson. She reads it and smiles.

Thanks for today.

Ruth is still staring at the message and smiling when Cathbad enters the kitchen. She feels strangely ready to talk now.