Katara

Never Irresponsible

Katara could see that Zuko wanted more from her, as if holding hands while sitting next to Aang wasn't already a ridiculous thing to do! She did her best to avoid him - but they lived in the same house. When a quiet knock came on her bedroom door, she knew who it was.

"Can we talk?" Zuko asked softly.

Of course they could talk. They were friends. They were teammates. They could talk and laugh and joke and discuss things that were hard and share their feelings. He could come into her room and they could sit on her bed and at some point one of them could touch the other one and then maybe they'd realize how close they were sitting, and laugh, and then stop laughing, and stare longer than felt decorous. And then they could close their eyes, guided by instinct and feeling. He would softly push her back onto the bed, their lips never losing contact; she would hold on to his chest, his shoulders, his neck, hard enough to let him know she never wanted to let him go.

Holy shit.

"Let's go outside," she suggested too brightly. There was a full moon tonight. That would help clear her head. They walked all the way down to the Fire Lord's private beach. Katara put her feet in the water, comforted by the coolness and the gentle current.

"What's up?" she asked, forcing cheer into her voice.

Zuko shrugged and kicked water towards the horizon. "Crazy play."

"Yeah, that play was terrible. Too bad it's the only one I've ever seen."

"You need to get a life."

"Hey! I have a life."

Zuko nodded. "I'd like to take you to see a good play. Someday."

Stay calm. The water, which was meant to sooth, seemed to be pushing her towards him. It just wasn't a good idea, no matter how much she wanted it. She had said the same thing to Aang earlier that evening. There was just too much at stake. It would be irresponsible to add another complication. Katara was never irresponsible.

"I would like to see a good play. Someday."

"Hmm," Zuko tapped his chin. "With me? Or… is there someone else who wants to take you?"

Katara growled and kicked the water. Zuko smiled behind his hair.

"He likes you."

How could she deny it?

"Do you like him?"

Katara laughed, pushing the sound out across the water, into the night sky.

"Ouch," Zuko observed.

"No, no." Katara held up a hand. "It's not that." And it wasn't. How was being loved by the Avatar, the universe's pick for a perfect person, a laughing matter? No, she laughed at the utter ridiculousness of the situation she found herself in. Katara didn't like how Zuko could unbalance her so easily. Was her effect on him the same?

"I did like Aang," Katara said matter of factly. Zuko did seem to lose a fraction of his grip on solid ground. Very satisfying. "Can you blame me? He was the first boy that I met outside of my village. He was the only one even close to my age that wasn't my brother." She rolled her eyes.

"But then?" Zuko wanted a particular answer. That was clear. Then I met a dashing stranger in an underground city and all thoughts of tattooed boy monks were pushed out of my pretty little head. She could give him that answer. Or she could tell him that for a moment, in the underground city, she couldn't even remember the tattooed boy monk's name. But then reality crashed in - and they both chose their sides. Then, for months after that, every feeling was tangled together like a swampbender's beard. And only since their revenge quest had things started to untangle. She could tell him that.

Instead, she smiled, knowing exactly what she wanted to say. "Zuko? I forgive you."

His brow furrowed. Damn, he was cute when he was confused. She took a step closer. "When we went after the Southern Raiders, before we found Yon Rha - you apologized. For Ba Sing Se. And, honestly? I could not think about that on top of everything else." Zuko chuckled. "Ever since then - I think I've been avoiding thinking about it. Hating you was a really central part of my identity."

His eyes opened wide and he shook his head real slow like, You don't make it easy for a guy do you?

"But," Katara emphasized the word. "I don't need to think about it anymore. I forgive you. I think… I was so confused for so long, about why you didn't… choose me? But that sounds ridiculous. You'd known me for a few hours, our countries have been at war for our whole lives. Like you said, problems we didn't start."

"Katara…"

"It was your family, I get that." Katara turned back to the horizon, the words fighting to get out of her now. "When we went to find the man who killed my mother-" she stumbled, but continued, despite the itchiness in her eyes and the lump in her throat- "I realized that I would do anything to have her back. I could have done anything. You didn't judge me for that. How can I judge you for what you did? It was for your family."

Zuko sucked in a deep breath.

"You have no idea how much that means to me," he whispered to the sea.

Was this the moment? Would he turn to her, grab her hand, pull her in close?

But Zuko was lost in the pull and push of the waves. So Katara took his hand and watched the currents with him.

"You're the ocean," he said after a long while. "Fierce, and strong, and capable of destruction. Yet - here it is, same ocean, the most calming thing in the world. Making everything better." He dropped her hand to drape his arm around his shoulder and pull her even closer. This was the moment. Katara felt the ocean on her feet and the moon above her head. Their whole bodies were lined up, if they both turned their necks…

Zuko stepped away so he could look at Katara directly. His gold eyes were pale in the moonlight. "Katara, you're beautiful. I spent so much of my life pretending I didn't want the things I did. I'm not doing that anymore. I want you. I think I'm… you do something to me, my head, my heart. But - I realize you have another option and I don't want to be unfair and force you to choose."

Wait, what? Katara realized that she had skipped the part of her history with Aang where she found that affection and love weren't the same thing. She had skipped the part where Aang took his place in her heart as her best friend. She would always love Aang, fight for him, protect him, care for him. But when the lights were out in the middle of the night and she let the small part of her mind explore her feelings… there was no question.

"I'm going to go to bed," said Zuko, sounding like he was making a very big and important sacrifice for the greater good. "Thank you for talking with me. When you're ready to decide, let me know. I can wait."

With that, Zuko was splashing his way back to dry land. Katara's whole body was still leaning towards where he had been, ready for something completely different. He was halfway up the cliff steps before she found her voice.

"Zuko!" She slapped a hand to her mouth, then continued in a whisper. "It's not about deciding. I already know." Katara jumped out of the water. She was halfway up the stairs before she remembered - Aang. She might be comfortable with their status as forever friends, but he certainly wasn't. Fuck. When she reached Zuko, Katara took his hand like that was her plan the whole time, and they walked home together.

"Good night, Katara."

"Good night, Zuko."