April 1, 11,958 CE

Mount Ascension Camping Grounds on Nasrine, Nasrine System (administered by the Interplanetary Network of Fuel and Resource Depots or INFRD), Betelgeuse Sector, Betelgeuse Space…

Lavinia finished concocting the salad according to the Artemisian recipe she'd gotten from Artemisian Ambassador Smith.

She ran outside to find her adoptive mother, 21B, proudly showing off her creation. "Look, I made Caesar salad! Artemis-style! I made enough for everyone!"

"Yes, that's very fine, dear," 21B placed an encouraging hand on Lavinia's shoulder. "But it's getting dark out. Don't you think you should set up the lighting system first before you get into cooking?"

"All right, Mom," Lavinia groaned, and she headed back to their storm-resistant tent.

Some distance away, 2B and 9S were setting up a portable telescope- or trying to, at least.

"Damn it, I'm not a Healer type…" 2B struggled with the telescope parts in confusion.

"We're almost there…" 9S grunted.

6O, chuckled, looking up from the blanket she lay upon on the rocky ground. "You know, you could just lie down and enjoy the stars like this. There's virtually no light pollution out here, the view is great without a telescope."

"It's lucky enough you could get a break away from Pallatinos for a change," A2 commented. "And I could get a break from fighting the damned Locusts on Felucia."

"Oh yeah, you never told me what it's like on Felucia!" 9S commented, intrigued, not realizing he was drawing an irritated look from 2B. "I hear it's a rich garden world…"

"Yeah, 'rich'," A2 snorted. "We who've actually been there know it's a fucking green hell! Hell, it's worse than Hawaii, worse than that damned Jungle Kingdom, and if it isn't the Locusts, the wildlife is trying to eat you… though to be fair, I suppose they munch on the Locusts equally too... "

"Hey, cut it out, you guys, do you see that?" 6O jerked up, pointing up at the sky.

"By the Humanity…" Lavinia, who had just come back out from the tent, looked up and gasped, dropping the portable lamps she was holding.

2B, 21B, 9S, and A2 all followed suit, looking up at the sky… and gaped in horror.

Tiny dots lit up the brown Nasrine sky as hordes of invading ships filled the skies, blasting away Union satellites, starships, and space stations around the planet.

Had this been Pallatinos Fault with its Magnetic Accelerator Cannons- and if they had been functional- then perhaps, just perhaps, they would have made short work of the invaders, but as it was, they were on the backwater of Nasrine.

Not that the planet was defenseless, of course- far from it. Orbital defense stations gave as good as they got, firing off point-defense laser systems and Archer missiles, cutting into the ranks of enemy ships and drones. Anti-orbital missiles launched from planetside silos, notoriously difficult for invading ships to evade, while starships, fighters, and even armed transports of the Nasrine Defense Force rushed to battle.

But the stations could only fire so much, could only do so much against vastly superior enemy numbers- no matter what a dent the defenses made in the enemy formation, their hordes merely swarmed around it, descending down to the planetary surface at breakneck speed.

"How- what-?!" 6O exclaimed. "The Locusts- they've never had such numbers, how-"

21B was the first to react and rushed for the radio. "This is Mount Ascension to Nasrine Command, what is the situation? Identify invaders, now!"

Various garbled, panicked voices filled the channel, interrupted by frequent static.

"...overwhelm…targeting server-..."

"...all units to battlestat-..."

"...casualtie-..."

"...Collectors invad-..."

Meanwhile, 2B, 9S, and A2 had scrambled to arm their weapons, and summon their Pods, who were recharging in their tent. Even 6O and poor, terrified Lavinia hurriedly drew their standard-issue sidearms.

BAM! A giant alien landing pod of sinister, insectoid design crashed to the ground, not five hundred meters ahead of them.

"Stay crispy!" 9S warned, and the entire group dropped down, to present a lower profile, hastily assembling whatever makeshift cover they could from their camping gear.

The landing pod popped open, and a dozen insect-like humanoid creatures- including one which projected some sort of personal energy shield- poured out, firing deadly lances of energy from their organic-looking firearms.

"Take, take, take!" 2B hissed, and all the Androids fired their weapons desperately, but even before they could cut down the last of the invaders, three more landing pods had come down around them, threatening their left and right flanks.

Swarms of tiny insects- or rather insectoid machines- poured out, swarming toward them.

"They- they're too many to hit!" Lavinia panicked, firing her pistol, as she broke cover and fled blindly backward.

"No, Lav, don't!" 21B screamed, but it was too late.

One of the bipedal insectoids spotted her and fired, blasting her through the lower back.

"AUGHH!" Lavinia screamed as the nocireceptors on her back were painfully scorched, and she staggered. And in that moment, a half-dozen other shots peppered her back, tearing her synthetic skin and mechanical parts, and flinging her to the ground.

"LAVINIA!" 9S screamed in shock.

"Focus on the main enemies!" A2 bellowed. "Orderly retreat!"

"The hell- ?!" 2B fired madly in shock. One of the newly-disgorged enemies was a huge, hovering, four-eyed creature. 2B and Pod 042 was peppering it with heavy weapons fire, but its energy shields seemed to easily absorb them.

"Watch-"

The monstrosity fired a pair of massive particle beam that struck 2B in the head.

"2B!" 9S rushed toward his beloved's side… but to no avail.

The remains of 2B's head sloughed off, and her headless body fell backward.

"Watch out, 6O!" 21B cried out, but too late.

A giant biomechanical monstrosity, with huge bulging blue sacs on its back and a twisted, four-eyed face, lumbered close to their left flank- and let out a wave of blue mass effect energy.

The blast knocked an unwary 6O out of cover- and then the creature blasted her through the upper abdomen with its arm cannon.

"AH! Stop! AAAH!" 6O sobbed, clutching the damage in her midsection. "Please, I don't want to die- I don't- AAAAHHH!"

She screamed in agony as a host of small insectoid constructs leaped into her wound, which had unfortunately human-like nocireceptors, beginning to tear her apart from the inside.

"Fall back, fall back!" A2 yelled.

"Too late, we're being cut off!" 9S cried, as more landing pods crashed down to their rear.

On one of them, a nasty, hulking, and nightmarish creature with thick, muscular legs and various unnatural spikes and bone formations jutting out rushed out, charging them. Not even noticing Lavinia on the ground, it trampled right over her legs, crushing them.

"AAAUHHH!" Lavinia screamed, writing in pain as the pain sensors in her legs relayed the catastrophic damage. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"Lavinia!" 21B screamed, reaching for her daughter.

"W-We don't have time!" A2 exclaimed, knocking the Battler-type out of the monster's way just in time. "We have to leave her!"

"It's useless!" 9S shrieked in panic, as he fled out of cover to avoid the charging behemoth, his gunfire seemingly useless on the creature. "I can't-"

More energy lances punched through the 9S' abdomen, and the poor Scanner collapsed forward, screaming and clutching his mechanical innards as oil and lubricant spilled.

"NINES-!" 21B cried out, reaching for her son, only to be silenced by a fusillade of energy beans puncturing her head and torso.

Cursing and dropping the fallen Battler, A2 made a break for it, firing erratically at the clumps of rapidly advancing enemies. She hadn't made it two hundred meters before a trio of large black, circular drones dropped from the sky, firing huge red plasma beams, one of them slicing A2 right in half- or rather vaporizing her lower half.

"AAAHH!" A2 crashed down to the ground- or her upper half, anyway. She'd always expected to die someday, but not like this! Not so ignominiously, so uselessly...!

As she lay there helplessly, she saw in horror as a massive yellow beam firing down from the sky, striking a familiar sight in the distance.

'No… it can't be… the system backup server…'

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Union Headquarters in Tokyo, Earth, Sol System, Earth Sector, Earth Cluster…

Anemone rushed into the Council chambers, to find High Admiral Victoria hastily yelling orders at the holographic images of Admiral Eleanor and Vice-Admiral Mahama.

"What the hell's going on? Where is everybody? How bad is it?"

"I don't know!" High Admiral Victoria exclaimed in frustration and… fear.

Anemone blanched- High Admiral Victoria was certainly no coward, and to see her look so… fear-stricken struck a chord deep in Anemone.

"There were reports of attacks all across the colony worlds just an hour ago," Victoria continued frantically. "Betelgeuse Space, Arcturus Stream… all of it! Then we lost contact with everything beyond the Charon Relay! I can't contact Director Lovelace or Jackass- they were both beyond the relay- and I can't raise Commander White either! There are reports of attacks on Artemis and Demeter, and even in-sector communication is spotty! Something massive is coming, and it's headed straight for Earth- and I can't even contact any of my fleets outside the Sol System!"

"Mankind save us…" Anemone whispered in horror.

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April Fools!

It's April Fools' Day (April 1st), at least where I'm at. Apologies if different time zones means it's not April 1st where you live.

There's no Collector invasion, lol, this was all an April Fool's Joke

In case anyone isn't familiar with April Fools' Day because of different cultural backgrounds and traditions, April Fools' Day is when you trick people on April 1st, and when you reveal that you were joking, you say "April Fools!"