A/N: This chapter contains graphic flashbacks, sex trafficking, overdose, and other violent cruelty. Content may be triggering for some people.
I sat on the sofa, near-catatonic, for some time while Caius stood at the easel adding more paint to the canvas, which was already half complete. I watched as his soft strokes danced across. After some time, he set the brush down and glanced over at me. I quickly turned my gaze away.
I felt the sofa next to me sink in as Caius sat. "Have you given up on the reading, or were you admiring something else?" I swallowed, and he chuckled dangerously as he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Aro will be disappointed."
When he dropped his hand, I dropped my eyes back down to the floor. "He'll be disappointed either way. I don't get it." I said the last part harsher than I meant out of frustration. How was he going to expect me to read plays with language I couldn't even pronounce when I struggled reading the articles he found for me that were written for children? Was this some sort of test he expected me to fail?
"I'm tired. I want it to stop." A tear fell from my eye, and I cursed in my head before roughly wiping it away.
Caius shifted, so he was leaning into me. He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest, only causing me to instantly tense up. "What do you want to stop?"
I could barely breathe as he held me there, but I managed to get the words out. "I want the games to stop."
"You understand what happens when the games stop, don't you?"
"I die."
I felt Caius run his fingers through my hair as he breathed in my scent. He hummed. "Is that what he told you?"
Caius released me as I started to turn, so I could face him. Our eyes met. "What do you mean?"
"It's not important as long as you continue to play the game. It would be a waste for you to stop so soon when you and I have so much in common." He paused, contemplating something. "And Aro believes me wasteful." Every word he said made my confusion grow, but I knew Caius wasn't about to answer my questions directly. He stood suddenly, causing me to jump. "Shakespeare was not meant to be read anyway."
I watched as he disappeared into the other room and returned with the laptop I had seen. After moving the side table to the front of the sofa, he sat the laptop on it and logged in. In some ways, it felt strange to see someone as old as he was supposed to be, using a computer. It didn't fit the character I had in mind, but there was still much I didn't know.
Caius navigated to a website I wasn't familiar with, and on the screen was a video player. "This will suffice as entertainment for the evening, a movie version of Titus Andronicus. You should see the full picture to understand. It is an adaptation but suits our purpose, nonetheless."
Without saying anything else, he clicked the play button and expanded the player, so it took up the full screen. He stood and put out the corner lamp, and the room was plunged into darkness apart from the glow of the laptop. I was confused at first, but when the soldiers came in and the speeches started, it came together a little more. I realized that the actions and seeing it played out in front of me did as Caius said it would. It made more sense, and I could follow along even if some of the words being spoken still escaped me.
The first death of Tamora's eldest son did not surprise me, and it wasn't on screen. At first, I felt sorry for her. She had been captured along with her sons and brought to Rome only to have her oldest son killed and his guts used as sacrifice to the gods. Later, that opinion of Tamora changed, and it did so suddenly. She was manipulative and evil.
Watching her two other sons made me sick. It wasn't until halfway through that I had to turn away. Without realizing what I was doing, I buried my head into Caius's chest. I didn't want to watch, and I didn't want to hear. The discussion of using Lavinia simply because she was a woman, the way they had talked about her like it was all she was suitable for… It brought up memories I wasn't ready to deal with yet, especially not in front of Caius.
I heard him scoff as he allowed me to sit like that against him until the scene was over, only for me to turn back to him again minutes later after seeing what had been done to Lavinia. How could any human ever be so spiteful and disgusting and sadistic, how could one be so cruel? How was that possible? I wanted to vomit, but having nothing to eat that day kept me from doing so.
It made sense why Caius wanted me to read this play, why he brought out the laptop to watch the movie. He wanted to watch me squirm, and I did. But coming near the end of the film, my thoughts began to change. Though it was still a tragedy for all that had happened, not only had Titus killed his own daughter, something I fought with myself after all the things that had happened, but the turn of events at the end led to a cycle of revenge and two sons, fatherless.
In the end, was it truly justice that had prevailed? In a twisted way, I believed so.
Caius closed the player and the laptop, standing to switch on the lamp. When he sat back down, he turned to me and asked, "What are your thoughts? Did you enjoy what you saw?"
I didn't want to keep him waiting for an answer, but I also wanted to gather my thoughts properly before I said anything. He seemed to notice and said nothing, only narrowed his eyes as if he were curious. I took a deep breath. "It was disgusting."
"The pie, you mean?"
Nodding, I replied, "Yeah, but not only that. What Chiron and Demetrius did was inhuman."
"Inhuman, you say?" Caius mocked. "What they did was manipulated and taught to them. Do you believe they were born with such cruel intentions? Perhaps, but they were also pawns in another's fun. Their only true fault was their own stupidity in the end."
"Titus showed his stupidity as well. He could have been emperor and stopped everything that happened from happening. His decisions set it all into motion."
"I never said he wasn't a fool, but revenge can still taste so decidedly sweet." The way Caius said the last word as he leaned into my neck made me stiffen. He wouldn't bite me, would he? "'Vengeance is in my heart, death in my hand, blood and revenge are hammering in my head.'" He raised up then stroked my cheek with the backside of his hand before grasping my jaw and meeting my eyes. "How will you take yours? Do you not desire the same justice and cruelty?"
I had no idea what he was going on about how I would take my revenge. I was here. What could I do? I had to admit, though, the idea did take a spin in my mind, and it sounded good. But, those men were long gone. Two were dead, and the others… It didn't matter. What chance would I stand against any of them? Even if I told someone, they wouldn't believe me. I'd be blamed. It was my own stupidity, my own foolishness that killed me in the end. I deserved what I got just as Titus and Tamora deserved what happened to them.
Caius let go of me and stood. "It's late for a human. You should sleep. Use the sofa." He moved the side table back to where it had been before and took the laptop back to the other room. When he returned, I still sat there on the sofa. "Are you not tired?"
I was, but I wasn't so comfortable sleeping where Caius might be nearby. Plus, it was cold. Did he not feel me shivering throughout the movie? Maybe he thought it was only from the lack of heat his body put off, but the clothes he wore kept me from feeling the cool touch of his skin. "It's cold."
He sighed. "Humans and their need for comfort." Caius opened the door to a large armoire that was hidden in a back corner of the room and pulled out a long, black cloak. When he came back over to me, he motioned for me to lie down, so I did. He then draped the cloak over me, which was warmer than I had expected, and studied me. "Yet, you might just be worth something, after all."
When he turned off the lamplight, darkness consumed me, and I knew I was once again alone. I lay there on the sofa, my breath loud in my ears, and closed my eyes, pulling the cloak tighter around me. I willed myself to go to sleep, and eventually, it overtook me into another haunting scene.
I stood there, eyes wide, not knowing what would happen. The mutilated body of the woman next to me had a lack of vomit rising to my throat, causing me to heave nothingness. Blood pooled around her on the concrete, her legs twisted at unnatural angles, tongue cut out to mute her screams. The skin on her chest had been peeled away, revealing the soft tissue underneath as those around used her body until it went limp.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, I wanted to hide. He was next to me, petting my head. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I won't feed you to the rats, yet."
I couldn't move. I was frozen, terrified that he'd change his mind if I did anything but obey. My body was screaming. It hurt. I felt sick. When one of the others stepped up to him, he gazed down at me with the worst smile I could imagine gracing his lips. No, no, no. What did he want? I didn't want to hurt anymore. I'm scared. Don't hurt me. I deserve it, but please don't hurt me. Not that. Please.
It should have been me. The girl they chose should have been me. I didn't want this. He dragged me over to her no longer occupied body and dropped me in the mess of red. I tried to back away, but another was behind to stop my escape. I don't want this. Please stop. Please. The pleas in my head because no sound could exit, spit dripping down my chin trying to get away. Stop!
I woke up screaming, out of breath, trying to catch it, and I broke down. Complete and utter panic. Get me out of this hell!
I felt his hands grab me. Why was I still there? I screamed again. "Stop! Let me go! Let me go!"
He squeezed me so tight, my air had nowhere to escape, and I stopped struggling. "Be still."
When Caius came into sight after releasing me from his grasp, I understood then that it had been another nightmare. I couldn't stop myself from shaking, and I pulled his cloak tighter around me. The expression on his face left me reeling back in fear. Aro would comfort me, but how would Caius respond?
"Your incessant screaming is not amusing, though it does make me thirst. All of the humans scream before they die. Do you plan to die on this night?"
Swallowing, I shook my head slowly. Caius departed from the room, leaving the lamplight on. When had he turned it on? I curled back up on the sofa, refusing to close my eyes, but they did shut.
When I woke up again, the room was empty. The door to Caius's office was closed, and I waited for him to notice that I was awake. Nothing happened. I went to the door and knocked, knowing that he said I couldn't go in there alone, but I really needed to use the bathroom. There was still no answer. Had he left me down here by myself?
My response came a minute or two later when Caius barged in through the main door and stared at me, frustration evident. I wasn't sure what I had done wrong. He turned his attention away, and that was when I realized he was on the phone. Caius held it up to his ear, and the sight was odd to see. Maybe it wasn't me he was frustrated at.
I watched as the frustration on his face turned into one of those grins that would make a person think twice about going anywhere near the one who bore it. He disconnected the call before walking over to the sofa and taking his cloak, which I had left there. The way he lifted his brow as if questioning what I wanted made me bite my inner lip.
"Um," I started, "Can I use the bathroom?"
Caius glided over to the door of his study, opened it, and waved me inside. He didn't move from his place while I went to the bathroom door he had indicated the afternoon before. It was bare, unlike the one in Aro's quarters. I found a switch to turn on the light, a dull, yellow glow barely lit up the room. The tub was nice, porcelain and gold, long enough to lie back in, and as expected, the toilet looked rather unused. It made me curious why he had one in the first place. Vampires didn't need them. Did Caius sometimes keep humans, too, just like Aro?
After I finished and washed my hands, I returned to where Caius still waited by the door. He spoke. "Aro called to remind me to make sure his pet was fed."
"I'm not really hungry."
"It's your choice whether to eat or not. I won't be my brother and enforce such nonsense, but you will go. I have proceedings I must partake of alone."
I had no idea what he meant, but I followed him out of the room anyway. We took the stairs to the lobby where their secretary worked, and Caius dropped me off with her stating that I was to eat. I went with her to the kitchen. It wasn't the same woman as before. I had heard what happened to the other nearly two weeks ago, but I felt nothing for it. It was a fact and matter of life at this point. If you dance with the devil, you get burned.
The woman began to speak to me, but I wasn't listening. She must have gotten my meal earlier that morning since it was sitting there on the counter. She picked it up and brought it over to me, but I didn't touch it. "Aren't you hungry?" she asked. I shook my head. "Master Caius will be angry if you don't eat."
"He doesn't care," I replied quietly, and I knew I was right.
"Then at least eat for me, why don't you?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet, and it reminded me of another from my past.
"You don't care either."
"Listen, if you don't eat something-"
I cut her off. "I don't care."
It was a harsh thing to say, and I knew it. I pushed the food away from me and crossed my arms at my chest, relaxing back in the seat. Though I was relaxing, I wasn't comfortable. I was making a big statement right now, I knew that. What would Aro say when he returned? No one truly cared. I was a nuisance, just someone to use so others could get whatever it was they wanted.
What was going on with me? Why was I acting like this? Either way, I made my choice. I wasn't going to take it back now. We sat at the table quiet except for the tapping of the woman's heels on the floor. It put me on edge.
Tapping on the wall next to me, my friend in the other room. I tapped back three times. I was okay. She tapped back four. She was okay. We were okay. We would be okay.
We weren't okay.
"You gave her too much! What did I tell you about the goods? You keep them well. You keep them behaved. You keep them alive! What do I tell the buyer now? I'm short three girls. What does he say? Each girl we lose, we lose precious dollars. You understand?"
"Sorry. She wouldn't stop the damn scratching. I thought she was going to claw her eyes out."
"To hell with it. Damn bitch. Just get rid of her."
I shuddered, trying to piece together what I had just seen, what I heard. So real. The woman's tapping didn't stop, and the noise kept getting louder and louder. I took the food, and without much realizing what I was doing, I threw it across the room. Her gasp brought me back to my senses, and I stood there, trying to figure what had just happened.
A hulking vampire stood in the doorway to the kitchen, staring at me intensely. I recognized him as a friend of Demetri's. If I remembered correctly, his name was Felix. He told the secretary to clean up the mess before turning back to me. "Come. I'll take you back to Master Caius."
Before leaving the room, I glanced back at the secretary and quickly apologized. Whether she accepted it or not had nothing to do with me, and when we reached Caius's rooms, my breathing had calmed significantly.
I entered, but the main room was deserted. Felix had left as soon as I had opened the door to enter, and so I stood there alone. Noises were coming from the other side of the office door that I couldn't quite place, but suddenly, the door was opened. Caius stood there with the same grin I had seen him wear, not even an hour earlier. He held out his hand for me to take, so I did, and he escorted me in.
What I saw was nothing I had ever imagined seeing. A man, perhaps in his early forties, lied strapped to the medical exam table. He was gagged, shirtless, and tied down tight, his eyes bloodshot and darting around the room like a terrified animal.
My heart felt like it would stop. Caius held me so I couldn't move, but I wasn't so sure if I would've been able to either way. The chair that had been behind the desk before was now against a wall facing the table, so the one sitting in it could see everything. This is where Caius sat me.
I couldn't tear my eyes away. What was Caius planning on doing? Who was this man? As if answering my unspoken thought, Caius said, looking at the man but speaking to me, "I thought you might enjoy the irony of this. This man is exactly like the man who caused you so much pain and fear. He preys on young girls, manipulating them, feeding them lies until he has them ensnared in his web. Then he drains them dry, profits from them until there's nothing left, discarding them as if they were trash."
His eyes then met mine. "I'm offering you vengeance." Caius made his way back over to me, a surgical knife in hand. "This is what you want. Destroy them."
I stared at the knife, and I couldn't stop myself when I grabbed it from Caius's grasp and stood back up. He led me then over to the man, taking my hand in his, and with the knife placed on the man's bare chest, pushed my hand in and sliced slowly. As the blood streaked, and the man grunted from the cut, my heart raced. It wasn't fear for what Caius might do if I didn't continue. It was pure enjoyment from watching this man bleed.
I made another slice down his nude torso, and the scream was hidden behind the gag. Let him know what it felt like to be helpless, to be afraid for his life, to not be able to control what happened to him next. I saw red. Everywhere there was red.
Until there wasn't. The only red that stained my vision now was splattered all over me. Irony indeed. What had I done?
A/N: This was originally meant to be two chapters. It felt like it all fit into one, so I combined it. I think it turned out nicely. Probably the darkest chapter yet, in my opinion. It was a bit difficult to write. Please review!
