The girl coughed, wheezed and then there was stillness.
Not the kind she felt at home, where there was the sensation of peace, but the breeze still moved, and the trees would sway. Their dog would run about in the yard or pant at the door, even on the calmest of days. Bees flew around flowers or flies would sail past their doorway towards their food. And someone would be active, whether it was her mother weaving or binding or her father snoring, stirring or packing away his tools.
This stillness was absolute. No air moved, no living thing shifted and even the earth lost its natural hues, becoming a grey monotone under the girl's feet.
She was standing. She couldn't remember standing.
The girl decided to walk. There was little else to do. Although her whole family and the physician had been crowded around her, there was no one here now. Just the stillness remained and some sort of urge to move, to journey onward into the light before the darkness swallowed her whole. Her feet shuffled forwards.
There again was a light. Like a lantern, but the whitest lantern the girl had ever seen. It was a beacon of sorts when she was so confused, and everything was like she was moving in a strange dream.
The girl had been only seven years old when she died. Still, she was brave. As she stepped over the threshold into the underworld entry, Macaria gave her a small smile. The goddess moved her lantern to illuminate them both in the dark, hoping the child would maintain her courage.
The girl amazed her by bowing low and meeting her gaze.
"Am I dead?" the little girl asked.
Macaria just gave another little smile.
"You are. I am your guide to Elysium."
"Because the pain just went." The little girl was still processing so Macaria waited, letting her work through it all in her head. The child's head tilted, and she surveyed the ground beneath her feet. "And it had been ever so bad. It was nice. But mother and father will be sad now."
"Sadness is a part of life. It means you have treasured something precious and you value loss."
The child bit her lip a little. Macaria imagined it was a habit formed in life.
"Did you say Elysium?" the child stuttered. Macaria just nodded.
"Oh, there must be some mistake," the child exclaimed, wiping her face in a nervous gesture that went straight to Macaria's heart. "I didn't do anything, goddess. I'm not worthy."
The door to the Underworld loomed but Macaria was given a wide berth. The Lampades approached the little girl, beautiful figures of white and cream in amongst the shades and the shadows. They were all sorts of women, but they all emanated an aura of warmth and kindness. The dead child's mouth dropped open as they approached her and took her hands.
"That's not how it works," Macaria whispered and then she lent down to touch the small girl on the head. "You are very worthy. Enjoy the Isle."
Her Lampades took the soul to the ferryman and sped the little girl's way towards Elysium and eternal peace. Macaria thought the child might grow into a Lampade in the future, if she wanted to. She had lovely manners and a sweet face.
Macaria's arms ached and her head was sore. She had been working hard as a balm to everything, including the rift between herself and Thanatos. She had resolved to be patient and to give him space. Hades had hinted that he and Death had spoken of her but at the expression her father gave when he tried to introduce the topic, she had begged to be left in ignorance. Hades, relieved, had been only too happy to comply and she had enjoyed months of solitude.
"Goddess," one of the servants of her father's house approached her. "Your brother is here."
Macaria blinked. "Zagreus is here? In the Underworld?"
"In your father's House," the dryad who brought the news seemed as stunned as Macaria herself. He coughed and bowed low. "Your father requests your presence."
But she was already fading from view, into the shadows and materialized on the front step of the House in a bewildered frenzy. Ignoring decorum, she grabbed her skirts and dashed up to the main hall where their family thrones were, seated on a podium.
"Zag?" Macaria called out to the corridors and a nymph pointed at the dining hall. Not even stopping to thank the servant, Macaria threw the doors open herself.
Her brother had grown up enormously in the few months since she had seen him. The child had shot up into a young man with her mother's caramel-coloured hair falling just over his eyes. He was pale and beautiful – almost like a colt with long limbs and wide, dark eyes with long lashes. He was dressed in mortal attire with a wreath of sorts in his hair and new sandals. His shoulder had a fine metal clasp and Macaria gasped to see his own sigil – he had reached his godhood!
"Zag!"
Her brother turned and grinned.
"Big sister, bring it in here!" He held out his arms and Macaria gave him an enormous hug, a little amazed that he was as tall now as she was. Her mother and father were seated beside their son. Macaria laughed.
"You're here! I can't believe it," she gushed, grabbing onto her brother and steering him in front so she could examine him properly. "And you're a god in full. What happened?"
Persephone gave a chortle. "Let the poor boy breathe first."
"It's alright mum," Zagreus gently coaxed his sister into the chair beside him and poured everyone wine. "This is my gift, something Dionysus gave me when I attained godhood. It had better be good."
They sipped and Macaria had to acknowledge the wine was superb, but her curiosity was insatiable. Her headache was completely forgotten.
"It's a bit of a story," Zagreus admitted, sinking back with his wine in one hand. "Basically, I left Olympus on a bit of an excursion to see some mortals and grandmother found me. Instead of scolding me she took me to the temple dedicated to the Eleusinian Mysteries, so, to mother and Hecate and Demeter. The rites were starting. But there were so few initiates this season and grandmother mentioned that there were very few who acknowledged father as part of their rites of passage."
Hades shook his head.
"I do not require more service, son." He set his goblet down. "The Mysteries are there to prepare mortals for death, not for me."
Zagreus just shrugged but he seemed eager to tell his story.
"The mortals don't generally know a lot about the Underworld in general, so grandmother took me around and I talked. Of course, I knew about you sister and your role, so I told them. I showed them mother and father and tried to explain how important it was for lives to be lived before passing through the Gates."
"And you found time to enjoy yourself with Dionysus and his lot," Persephone pointed out with a little grin. "I don't imagine my mother was too impressed with that."
"Ah, maybe not at first," Zagreus admitted. "But somehow, telling the people who worship Dionysus about their next life, I attained my godhood. I'm a brand-new deity." He thumbed the symbol of his position so that Macaria could examine his sigil. It was a round wheel of the seasons but instead of the third that usually resembled death, there was a pomegranate wreathed in vines.
"Guardian of the Mysteries," Macaria read. "Prince of the Underworld and God of Renewal."
"Congratulations," Hades said, "I hope my brother has affirmed your temple on Olympus?"
"Construction has started," Zagreus nodded. Macaria gave his hand a squeeze and beamed at her little brother. "But seeing as Cari here can't set foot in Zeus's realm, I though it best to come here and deliver the news."
She kissed him on the cheek. "I am so glad you visited."
They gave him the tour, all of them together and Macaria struggled to remember when she had felt so happy. There was something incredibly sweet about the gentle way they showed him the House and didn't stray too far from the more beautiful places to keep the visit pleasant for her brother. And he was brave – she was used to spotting courage and could see he effort he made to see his family in a place that held so many horrific triggers for him – no matter where they decided to walk. He smiled and he sniggered along with their mother, listened to their father and occasionally would hold his big sister's hand when he needed to.
They invited some of the other deities to congratulate Zagreus at a dinner. Hecate arrived early and brought him the gift of a travelling cloak she had made herself which would not only make Zagreus stand out as a new god but would tame any wild beast that came before him. Hecate winked at him and whispered something in Zagreus's ear which made him laugh. Macaria asked him what the joke was, and he told her the goddess had said there would be plenty to tame at Dionysus's future parties.
"The mortals seem to get Dionysus and you confused a lot," Macaria admitted. Zagreus just gave her a wink and a half-shrug.
Nyx, Morpheus and Thanatos came together (Macaria actively hid from Death so as not to spoil the night but couldn't help trying to sneak looks at him at the table) and Hermes appeared just as food was being served. Zagreus invited some of the deities he had befriended with the mortals, so some of the Muses attended (looking very bright against the dark splendor of the Underworld), Selene came while the noon sun still reigned in the sky, along with Hebe and Tyche. Hebe seemed very taken with her brother, Macaria noticed, but Zagreus was polite to all. Dionysus couldn't attend, but Pan came instead, and he proceeded to embarrass Zagreus with stories of their misadventures.
The party didn't get too wild under Hades's watchful eye, but the deities of Olympus socialized with those in the Underworld for hours until Zagreus finally called the dinner party to an end.
"I promised Demeter I'd be back in time for the acolytes' purification in the ocean," he admitted, holding his sister close.
"Look at you, all responsible," Macaria grinned. "It suits you."
He smirked and mockingly tapped her on the shoulder. "Well, it will hopefully make everyone's jobs down here a little easier." The smile faded. "I'll be back when I can. But this place is not… great for me."
"Do not push yourself, little brother." Macaria squeezed his hand again. "We have eons of time. I will see you when I see you."
"We know you are safe and that is what matters," Hades added from behind his children. "Your mother and I will visit you when we can when your building is established on Olympus."
"That's a good way to shock some Olympians," Macaria giggled.
"Be happy," Zagreus bid his family a final farewell and saw the guests he had invited from Olympus safely across the Styx. "I'll see you all when I can!"
When the last of the guests were ushered out and Hecate got a directive from Hades that the party was over, Macaria tried to slide out of the door but Thanatos caught her eye.
"Are you busy?" Death asked. Macaria gave a little sigh of disappointment. The day had gone so well with her brother's unexpected arrival and she loathed to spoil it. Her stupid heart fluttered that he had started a conversation with her.
"I am but I have some time," she conceded. The Lampades knew their work well and could spare her for a little longer.
Thanatos asked her for a short walk along the river. As he led the way, Macaria admired him as much as she dared to. She hadn't been this close to Death in months.
Easy girl, he's just asking you to talk.
They finally reached the curve in the river where you could almost see the Gates and Cerberus's back if you strained your eyes in the right direction. The river ran past swift and dark, carrying nothing. Where it met the curve of the beach, it slowed to change direction. Macaria used to race little leaves with the nymphs when she was a child in the current.
"Thanatos…" she started, remembering their last almost-conversation. "I'm sorry. I've been avoiding you."
Death just stared at her.
"As I have you," he admitted. "It was just… simpler. But I considered at dinner tonight that we are friends, colleagues and… well, we still have some feelings towards one another regardless of how far apart we are. That won't change."
Suddenly her heart seemed to be both very warm and very frightened. Hope could do that to a person. She tried to focus on the waters, or the leaves or anything but Thanatos's steady gaze had her trapped there, as though she was paralyzed.
"What are you saying?"
Death moved across the sand towards her.
"I think I am suggesting that maybe we just… start again?" Thanatos said. He waited and Macaria tried to get a grip on her emotions, which just went sailing out of control at the idea.
"But… What changed your mind?" she blurted out. "I mean, yes. Absolutely. I would like that. I mean, I don't really know what that would look like, but I'd be…"
He kissed her. Just very softly, but enough to stop her mouth from talking and more than enough to make her smile. She took his hand.
"I think it was the way your brother has changed." He answered her questions carefully, measuring her reaction. "And the fact he visited here at all. I thought, if he can do this than surely, I can have the courage to ask you whether we can begin again anew."
They spent quite a while walking the shores, just talking gently to one another. They were gone so long that one of the Lampades found them and exclaimed to Macaria that everyone had considered trying to summon her in the Isle of the Blessed, just to make sure she was alright.
"Shall we get to work?" Death asked her.
"I guess we should," she grinned and the poor Lampade just watched the pair of them dissolve into the shadows, hand in hand and had no idea what to make of the growing smile on Thanatos's face.
