Author's Note: I think we all could use a vacation...
They drove in shifts mostly but Rick had no problem doing the bulk of the driving. He even encouraged Carl to drive a stint on the empty morning highway. But it was mostly Michonne and Rick driving. It seemed that they were making pretty good time (aside from the frequent bathroom stops for Andre and coffee stops for Michonne). They slept at rest stations and ate breakfast at small diners. According to Rick's phone they were about 3 hours from the cabin and the harmonious growl of stomachs in the car also confirmed they were due for lunch.
"What do you think? How's Montana's BBQ?" Rick asked Michonne from the other side of the car as they refueled at a gas station.
"It's different. Good I guess- but I've had better." Michonne said with a wink and Rick smiled as he topped off the car.
"Does Dre like BBQ?" Rick asked as he rounded the car to open the door for Michonne.
"Andre likes food." Michonne teased but she appreciated the consideration for her 4-year-olds "complex" pallet. "There's a place I'm thinking of that's about thirty minutes from here. You think we'll make it until then?"
"I think the boys can- dunno about me. I'm a starved man." Rick growled as he playfully bit at Michonne's shoulder and she laughed leaning into him.
"Please don't do anything gross. I already have years of therapy in front of me, let's not make it decades." Carl teased as he came out of the gas station holding Andre's hand.
"Loookit mama loookit Riick!" Andre yelled gleefully as he held out a small keychain in the shape of Montana.
"Tell them what it says Andre." Carl encouraged and Andre smiled wide.
"Andre." He showed off proudly and the two adults oohed in fascination.
"We're going to put it on his backpack," Carl explained as he opened the door and lifted Andre into the back of the SUV.
"Alright food in thirty, let's go!" Michonne said with a clap of her hands going around the front seat to start her next shift of driving.
"Hey," Rick said softly as he grabbed Carl's arm, "You doing okay?"
"Yeah dad. Thank you for this. It's nice not to think about shit for a minute." They both cut their eyes to Andre who was too enamored with his new treasure to pay any mind to Carl's curse.
"And if you ever want to.. talk?" Rick murmured awkwardly. Shit he was never good at talking. Ask Lori.
"I know dad. I'm good." Carl promised as he patted his dad on the arm.
Rick made sure Andre was secure in his car seat before climbing into the passenger seat.
Michonne was moaning gleefully in Rick's ear and it was making it very hard for him to concentrate.
Sure it was because she was thoroughly enjoying her ribs but Rick couldn't help but squirm in his seat when Michonne slowly sucked barbecue sauce off her finger.
"Do you want some?" Michonne offered mid moan and Rick cleared his throat.
"Uh no-."
"Good. Cause I didn't really want to share."
Carl laughed from the other side of the booth and snagged another corn muffin for himself.
"This is good. Thanks for bringing us here Michonne." Carl said as he worked on his half rack of ribs.
"No problem." Michonne waved her sauce covered fingers before wiping them on a napkin embarrassedly. "I'm glad you like it."
"Mama yumm." Andre said while rubbing his full tummy and Michonne beamed.
"Yumm." She repeated and Rick took the opportunity to sneak some of Michonne's baked beans.
"So I was thinking once we get to the cabin we all shower down, and then take a nap?" Michonne suggested and everyone nodded in agreeance.
"And we will see Shiva mama?" Andre asked and Michonne smiled.
"I'm sure she's still there baby."
"Who's Shiva?" Rick asked around a mouth full of potato salad.
"She is uh- Ezekiel's… cat." Michonne answered cryptically and Rick and Carl exchanged looks. "She's a good cat but fat for sure." Michonne said stifling a laugh at the surprise that was sure to come to Carl and Rick.
As the ribs came down to the bones and they were scraping at their plates Rick leaned back with a satisfied sigh and threw his arm around Michonne's shoulder.
"Man this is the type of food to put you in a coma." Rick signed happily and Michonne cuddled into his side staring up at him skeptically.
"Don't think you're getting out of driving because you're full." Michonne joked as she poked at Rick's slightly bloated tummy.
"Well the way I see it we have three drivers in the car. Maybe the younger drivers should take another shift." Rick said as he shifted his attention to Carl.
"I'll go start the car." Carl said as he unbuckled Andre from his booster seat and left for the parking lot.
When they found themselves alone Rick lifted Michonne's chin and caught her mouth in a searing kiss.
They kissed each other until the waitress mumbled something about paying at the front when they were ready and slapping the bill down on the table obnoxiously.
Michonne pulled away first with a light laugh and patted Rick's chest.
"What was that for?" She asked and Rick smiled leaning in to kiss her one more time.
"Because it's a beautiful day and I'm here with you. Because our boys are happy and fed?" Rick listed and Michonne smiled at his tender heart. "But maybe it was all those delicious sounds you were making. Think jealousy got the best of me." Rick admitted with a blush and Michonne blushed herself.
"Sorry I like good food." She mumbled suddenly embarrassed by her display.
"You know we never got to talk about this but… on the day of Lori's accident."
Rick said slowly and there was an instant shift in the mood. "I got a text message from you…" Rick said, pulling away from Michonne to gauge her reaction.
"A text message?"
Oh. Oh!
"Oh." Michonne whispered and she was sure the whole restaurant could hear her heart hammering in her chest.
"Yeah.. and I know the time hasn't been right. So much has happened." Rick said quietly as he reached for his wallet and pulled out a cash tip.
"We've been grieving." Michonne eked out mortified that Rick received that message.
"We have. But I just want you to know," Rick said as he stood up from the booth and held his hand out to Michonne, "I'm ready. Whenever you are."
Michonne's eyes widened before she coughed and nodded once.
"Alright then." She grabbed Rick's hand and allowed his assistance out of the booth. "Just let me go to the bathroom real quick." Michonne requested as she shakily pulled away from Rick and made a dash for the lady's room.
She splashed some water on her face and let out a breath. Suddenly she felt like she was suffocating in her t-shirt and jeans.
She couldn't blame the Montana summer on this one.
The mountains were beautiful and nothing like the ones Carl had seen in Georgia. He snapped a picture for Enid and smiled when she replied that she missed him and was glad he was getting away.
Carl was glad too. He couldn't believe that his mom's funeral was only two days ago. There were times when he smiled and it felt so odd- so wrong. When they were sleeping at the rest stop he cried so hard he woke Michonne up. He was grateful when she climbed into the backseat and rocked him to sleep.
He was even more grateful that she didn't mention it when they were back on the road. She'd glance at him every once and a while through the rearview mirror and she would give him a nod.
Carl was so grateful for her, he knew their bond was deep and he was honored to know about her mother. He knew that she knew exactly how he felt.
He just wished he knew how to be okay- how to be happy without feeling guilty.
He did know he felt happy with his dad. He felt happy around Michonne and Andre. He felt happy with Enid.
He just wished he knew how to be happy without feeling like he was betraying his mother's memory. Carl closed his eyes and prayed he'd find the answer.
Ezekiel King smoothed down the sheets of the bed and stepped back with a satisfied sigh. He had a lot of help at his estate but he insisted he do this on his own. He owned many cabins in Saint Mary, Montana and currently he was preparing one of his best for his dear cousin
Michonne. They had grown up together in Georgia, her mother and his father were brother and sister. Their family had immigrated from Zimbabwe when they were both very young. The siblings had both fallen in love with Americans in Georgia and never went back to Zimbabwe.
Ezekiel and Michonne grew up more like brothers and sisters than cousins. They spent most of their days together whether it was at school or each other's houses. They raced bikes down the streets and split their allowances to buy ice cream from the trucks.
But then... Michonne's mom died. Michonne came out less and eventually she and her father moved away from the neighborhood. They tried to stay in touch but they were kids and it was hard. Even as they got older they still tried to keep in touch but Ezekiel's zoology studies took him to far off places with limited communications to people in America.
That's why he was elated to get her call asking if she and her family could come stay in one of his cabins. He didn't have much time to prepare but he was glad that he was going to finally see Michonne.
He wasn't too surprised when she explained that Michael wouldn't be with them. That he hadn't been with them for a while.
He remembered his Uncle Desmond ranting about her beau Michael and how he was such a horrible fit for his only daughter.
"He's not right for her. He's so arrogant." He remembered his uncle saying one night on a late phone call.
Ezekiel smiled secretly to himself. He didn't know the particulars but it sounded Michael was out of the picture for good.
He heard a few honks and the sound of a car pulling in and he grinned as he looked outside the window in time to see Michonne pulling in.
He smiled and raised his hand to wave at his old friend. He only frowned when he saw a white man come out of the passenger side and open the door for her.
Now who was he?
Michonne couldn't get out of the car fast enough to greet Ezekiel. She felt like she was eight again, back then having been apart from each other felt like eternities.
Ezekiel locs were mostly grey now but still beautiful and well kept. He wore a long robe that flowed behind him as he walked and he greeted her with wide open arms and great flourish.
"Hanzvadzi sikana! Wadzoka kwandiri" He greeted taking her into his arms instantly. Michonne was a little rusty on her Shona after years of only speaking English but she understood him instantly. Sister! You have returned to me.
"Mukoma Wangu." She replied with a pat on his cheek and he laughed, glad to keep the conversation going in Shona. My Brother.
"Uye mucheche?" He asked and Michonne jerked her head to the car. And the baby? "Ndiani murungu?" He whispered with a wink and Michonne rolled her eyes. Who's the white guy?
"My boyfriend." Michonne answered with a light laugh and Rick took that as a cue to step forward.
"Rick Grimes, thank you for having us on such short notice. It's beautiful out here." Rick greeted as he extended his hand to Ezekiel.
"Ah no need for such formalities. A friend of Michonne's is a friend of mine!" Ezekiel cheered as he pulled Rick into an unexpected embrace. They both patted each other's backs and pulled away with a smile.
"And where is prince Andre?" Ezekiel inquired as he looked around for the exuberant toddler. Carl had managed to get him out of his car seat and onto the ground before he barreled towards Ezekiel with a great purpose.
"Hello prince Andre-."
"Shiva!" Andre called out looking across the vast land for a glimpse of the cat.
The adults laughed at his eagerness and Ezekiel squatted to address him.
"Shiva is resting but she missed you very much. As did I." He swooped Andre up in his arms and twirled him around, his heart full at the sound of Andre's laugh. They twirled until Michonne cautiously warned him Andre was full of food and prone to having a weak tummy.
"Shii! I never see the boy let me enjoy this." Ezekiel said with a click of his tongue and Michonne rolled her eyes.
She warned him.
"Ezekiel I'd like you to meet Carl- my er prince." Rick said as he threw his arm around Carl as he came to stand next to him.
"Hello sir." Carl greeted and Ezekiel smiled wide collecting the travel fatigued teen into a hug. "Thank you for having us." He mumbled into Ezekiel's shoulder and Michonne gave Rick a warm smile.
"What a handsome family you all make. I assume you will have the wedding here?" Ezekiel asked and Michonne coughed loudly while Rick burned bright red. "Never too soon to make plans. My land makes for lovely wedding photos. Come, I've prepared a cabin for you guys. You'll find the fridge is stocked with food- Jerry's wife was kind enough to stock it for you all."
"Oh my God Jerry?" Michonne asked a small smile on her lips. She hadn't heard that name in years. "He's here?"
"He and his family moved out here about a year ago. Jerry is a great help around here. You see Rick, Jerry was quite sweet on our Queen for years."
"Is that so?" Rick asked with a raised brown and Michonne shoved Ezekiel playfully.
"One kiss in the first grade does not make for an epic love story."
"Oh so there was kissing?" Rick teased and Michonne huffed as the two men got a laugh at Michonne's expense. Rick pressed a kiss to Michonne's forehead to make up for the teasing and she smiled complacently.
"Well if you'll excuse us we'd like to wash off all this car funk." Michonne said with a yawn and Ezekiel walked forward and gave Rick the keys to the cabin.
"I'm glad you're here." Ezekiel said sincerely and Michonne felt tears prickle her eyes. "I have missed you."
They embraced each other one last time and as they pulled away Ezekiel whispered in her ear, "I like this one."
Michonne looked over her shoulder at Rick who was helping Carl retrieve their bags from the trunk.
"Yeah me too."
"Oh my God I never thought I'd be so thankful for a hot shower." Michonne sighed as she fell onto the bed. The room looked like something out of a magazine. The bed was hand-carved from light wood and perfectly fit the cabin's interior design. It managed to be both very modern and rustic.
"Well you look great." Rick said with a laugh as he took in her oversized Spelman shirt and cutoff shorts. He had showered before Michonne and could admit the bathroom was impressive. He wasn't sure how long he was in there but the shower successfully washed away any tension he felt.
"You look good too." Michonne commented as she cuddled into Rick's chest. He wrapped his arm around her and took a deep breath. "This is nice."
"It is. Zeke did not disappoint." Michonne hummed as she ran her fingers along Rick's pec.
"So remind me again.. Ezekiel is your cousin right?"
"Right."
"Is he from your father's side of the family or your mother's?"
He felt Michonne shift against him and he figured the answer.
"His dad and my mom were siblings." She mumbled into his shirt and he rubbed her back.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories."
"Not bad. Just distant."
They were quiet for a moment when Michonne spoke.
"Lori's death reminded me a lot of my mother's and I think for the first time in a long time I'm having to deal with those emotions again." She said quickly and Rick held her tighter. He had wondered...
"You don't have to tell me." He insisted and Michonne shook her head.
"I want to. I want you to know everything about me." She whispered and Rick felt dampness on his shirt. "I was only three years younger than Carl when my mom died. We were coming home from one of my fencing completions- it was far out in the country at some haughty private school. It was just me and my mom and out there."
Rick listened attentively but he could feel Michonne's heart pick up.
"They figured later that maybe she hit a deer. Swerved off the road. But when we woke up she was pinned behind the wheel. Hurt so bad she couldn't feel her legs." Michonne's breath got caught in her throat but she continued. "I don't think she had a chance but I still had to try."
It was the first time Michonne had ever admitted it out loud. She always knew her mother was going to die that night- she was just too afraid to admit it.
"Oh baby.." Rick sighed sadly, his voice thick with tears.
"I tried so hard for Lori too... I just wish. I wish I could have saved her." Michonne cried as she hid her face into Rick's chest. He held her until her tears turned into short breaths.
"I know they would be so grateful for you. For all you did. You're so amazing Michonne and you do so much for everyone around you. Please don't ever doubt your efforts." Rick assured her when her tears had quieted down. When she didn't respond he pulled back to look at her and smiled when he noticed she had fallen asleep. He held her a little closer and fell asleep too. They could talk later.
Rick woke up hours later missing Michonne's presence and was surprised by Andre's.
"Hello." Rick greeted as he stretched out his well-rested limbs.
"Hi Rick." Andre sang as he bounced on the bed. "Shiva woke up." Andre announced and Rick let out a yawn as he sat up.
"The cat?"
"Big cat." Andre corrected and Rick gave him a sleepy smile.
"Would you like to go see her?"
"Mama said wait for you to wake up." Andre explained and Rick smiled as he combed his fingers through his ruffled curls.
"Alright well I'm up." Rick said as he swung his legs off the bed and threw Andre over his shoulder. Andre screamed in delight as his world turned upside down.
"Who is that terrorizing my sweet boy?" Michonne called from downstairs and Rick giggled.
"The love of your life." Rick called from the stairs and her pause made Rick nervous. Maybe he shouldn't have said that.. she certainly was his but what if he wasn't hers?
"Oh Denzel Washington is here?" She joked as she came into view with a large mixing bowl and Rick scoffed. "Oh wait even better it's Rick Grimes."
"Hi." Rick said quietly as he took her in. She looked beautiful in the evening sunlight smiling up at him. His breath was also caught at the side of the mountains from their living room window.
He felt so at peace.
"Riiick Rick!" Andre laughed, still dangling from behind Rick's back.
"Please turn my son upright," Michonne ordered playfully as she pointed a spoon at Rick.
They met her downstairs and Michonne handed off the spoon to Andre who licked at it dutifully.
When Rick tried to swipe a finger in the batter to see what she was baking Michonne shrugged away from him.
"Good things come to those who wait." Michonne reminded him as she poured the batter into a loaf pan.
"Don't I know it." Rick mumbled as he looked around the large kitchen and living room for his son.
"He's outside FaceTiming Enid. I guess she snuck her phone into art camp or something." Michonne answered and Rick hummed as he took a seat at the bar.
"Are you doing okay?" Rick asked concerned and Michonne's steps faltered for a moment before she turned to face him.
"I feel better. Better now that I've told you."
"And thank you for that. Thank you for telling me." Rick said as he reached across the counter to hold her hand. He laughed as he suddenly realized something. They had achieved something in a month and a half of dating that he and Lori couldn't get down in years of marriage. Open and honest communication.
"What?" Michonne asked with a laugh of her own and Rick shrugged.
"I'm just glad to be here. Glad to have you." Rick answers honestly and Michonne reached over, standing on her toes to kiss him.
"How do you say I love you in Shona?" Rick asked and Michonne blushed.
"Ndinokuda." She whispered and he smiled.
"Ndinokuda." He said through his thick drawl and Michonne's smile widened.
"Good." She encouraged him and he lapped at her praise.
"And how do you say I want you..?" Michonne coughed but thought about it for a moment.
"I think it's- ndinoda iwe."
"Ndinoda.. iwe?" Rick attempted still trying to keep his sensual tone and Michonne doubled over at how her mother's native language sounded with his southern accent. "What, did I say it wrong?"
"Oh no you said it perfectly my love. I just don't think I've ever heard a cowboy speak Shona." Michonne answered sobering up and Rick shrugged.
"I dunno I think I do the language justice." Rick said as he wiggled his brows and Michonne shook her head.
"Thank God. Carl please tell your father he's out of his mind!" Michonne said as Carl slipped back into the house from outside.
"Been trying to tell him for years. It's hopeless." Carl sighed as he fell onto the couch. "Are there horses up here?" Carl asked and Michonne hummed.
"Oh yes. Ezekiel has a few horses- you interested?"
Carl shrugged noncommittally and Michonne frowned.
"How was your talk with Enid?" She tried and Carl shrugged once again.
"Good I guess. She couldn't talk too long. She shouldn't even have a phone on her."
Ahh new love. Michonne knew what that ache felt like- she felt it now.
"Well Ezekiel invited us to dinner up at his place. It's a little bit up the road. Then you two can meet Shiva." Michonne said, catching Andre's attention at the mention of the cat.
"Shiva!" He cheered and Michonne smiled.
"Oh and he said to dress like royalty? So do with that what you will." Michonne said with a smile as she headed upstairs to get ready leaving a very confused Carl and Rick in her wake.
Rick's nice jeans and boots with a black button-up shirt left him underdressed. He felt embarrassed as he took in Ezekiel's elaborate garbs. Even his guests were dressed to the nines in beautiful dresses and sharp suits.
He squeezed Michonne's hand and she gave him a reassuring smile.
"You look like a king to me." Michonne whispered when Rick found he was too afraid to go into the dining room with the rest of the party.
He was wondering if Michonne was embarrassed with him on her arm. She looked beautiful as usual in a wine-colored maxi dress and gold bangles adorning her arms. Her hair was down and slightly curled. She was so effortlessly stunning.
"Don't mind Zeke. He has a flair for the dramatic- he used to do a lot of Shakespeare in the park in college." Michonne said with a wink and Rick sighed.
"I can go back and change. Maybe find a 24-hour suit shop." Rick offered dishearteningly and Michonne waved him off.
"You look good. Like you'd fit in at any house in Montana. They're the ones who look weird." Michonne said pointing to a dinner guess who looked like she was wearing a ball gown. "Don't worry." Michonne pleaded and Rick smiled down at her.
"I guess it doesn't hurt that I have the prettiest girl on my arm." Rick whispered into her ear and Michonne pulled back with a smirk.
"You haven't met Shiva yet."
Wine was drunk until everyone's skin felt warm and food was eaten until bellies were at capacity. Carl and Andre were sequestered to a small table in the adjoining room with the younger kids. Even though the person closest to Carl in age was only 13 he still found he was having a lot of fun.
Currently Rick's laughter was filling the house as Ezekiel told a particularly embarrassing story about Michonne.
"She really thought she was drunk huh?" Rick asked through laughter and Ezekiel held his stomach as he nodded.
"I mean it was called rum cake." Michonne mumbled as she took another bite of her Risotto.
"She was so afraid she was drunk. She confessed to auntie she had a piece right away."
"I was 6!" Michonne argued with a laugh and Rick pressed a kiss to the side of her forehead.
"Ah it's nothing compared to my story. So sophomore year of high school Shane had somehow managed to get a college kid to buy us beer."
"Bud light?" Jerry asked from further down the table and Rick snorted.
"Nah."
"Miller?" Jerry's wife, Nabila, asked as she screwed up her face at her own memory of teenage drinking.
"Blue ribbon." Rick answered and the table broke out into a series of groans. "God it tasted like warm pee. We drank so much right before we left for homecoming.. we both puked in Shane's mom's car right before we made it. Spent the whole night eating Italian wedding soup and seltzer water." Rick smiled at the memory and everyone at the table laughed.
"Sounds exactly like something a young Rick and Shane would do." Michonne said and Rick was glad to talk about his old friendship with Shane. It felt good.
"Hey dad, Michonne, can I take the kids out to watch the stars?" Carl asked as he came to stand behind them.
"Hey son." Rick greeted as he leisurely turned around to look at him. The wine was flowing through him nicely and he felt calmer than he had felt in weeks.
"Hey dad." Carl chuckled noticing the signs of his dad being tipsy. "You guys doing okay?"
"We're good honey, how are you?" Michonne asked and Carl smiled.
"I mean I'm kinda bummed to be put out to the kid's table but Jerry's kids are nice."
"Then why don't you join us for a moment then Prince Carl!" Ezekiel said as he held up his glass of red wine and Carl bowed his head down.
"It's okay. I was just going to go outside." Carl insisted as he began to back away from the table.
"Be careful." Michonne warned and Carl gave her smile as he went to retrieve the younger kids.
"Your son is so polite. Maybe he can teach Ezra some things." Nabila complimented as she smiled at Rick and Michonne.
"I'm lucky- he's a great kid." Rick said and Michonne smiled at his side.
"He has a great father." Michonne said quietly and Rick turned to stare at her. They were so caught up in each other they didn't hear Jerry's question.
"How long have you two been together?" He repeated and Michonne finally broke eye contact with Rick.
"Oh uh. What, about two months?" Michonne answered unsure of the specifics.
"Almost." Rick amended as he felt Michonne squeeze his hand under the table.
"Wow. You two operate like a couple that has been together much longer." Nabila commented and Jerry nodded.
"Although, she still looks at him like he can do no wrong. That's the look of a woman who hasn't fallen into the toilet because someone forgot to lower the seat."
The table broke out into a light laugh as Jerry placed a kiss on Nabila's cheek as she playfully scowled at him.
"Zeke did you get those things I asked for?" Michonne suddenly remembered and Ezekiel smiled around his glass of wine.
"Of course. I placed them all in the cabinet under the kitchen sink before you arrived." Ezekiel answered and Rick was intrigued.
"Well then," Michonne sighed as she dabbed at her mouth with her napkin before folding it on top of her plate, "If you'll please excuse us."
Rick stood up as well and searched Michonne over.
"We're leaving?" Rick asked, feeling a little light-headed due to the wine.
"We have things to do." Michonne informed Rick with a smile and pat to his chest.
His brows shot up to the sky.
"Thank you so much everyone. This was a great dinner- thank you really." Rick stammered as he grabbed Michonne's hand and led her out of the dining room.
Michonne giggled as Rick pulled her out of the house and into the cool evening.
"Wait, baby wait." Michonne managed between laughter. "We have to go get the boys."
Huh?
"The-the boys?" Rick stopped walking and faced Michonne with a frown.
"Yeah. What I have planned involves them too." Michonne explained and she let out an involuntary laugh at the sight of Rick's shoulders dropping and lip poking out.
"Oh. Right." He pushed his hair back and began to walk back towards the house.
"Rick.." Michonne called sensing he was genuinely upset.
"It's okay Michonne- just give me a second." Rick mumbled as he tried to will away his.. ahem. visitor.
"Oh," Michonne whispered when she caught up to him. He wasn't doing a very good job of imagining that away. "We'll have our time together." Michonne promised and Rick took a breath before giving her a strained smile.
"I know."
They stood there for a moment both trying to compose themselves. When it seemed that Rick could walk comfortably again they walked into Ezekiel's backyard.
"Hey, guys-." Michonne began but Rick grabbed her arm and pointed at the scene before them.
Carl sat in a rocking chair with Andre on his lap. Jerry's kids sat on the ground next to them. All of their eyes were fixed on the sky in wonderment.
"See that one? That one is called the North Star. At the end is the Little Dipper- if you're ever lost at night just find that star."
Michonne and Rick smiled as Carl continued to tell the history behind the visible constellations.
"Where did he learn that?" Michonne whispered staring up at the sky herself.
"My dad. He was really into stars and astronomy." Rick answered quietly remembering the camping trips he took with his father as a young kid. "God
I forgot how beautiful they were."
They stared at the stars for a moment before Michonne felt someone nipping at her ankle. She looked down and smiled when she saw the orange and black tortoiseshell cat.
"Well hello, gorgeous." Michonne greeted as she bent down to pick up the hefty cat.
"Wait," Rick laughed as he reached out to pet the cat, "This is Shiva?"
Michonne held the cat up to her face and the pet began purring loudly.
"What were you expecting? A tiger?" Michonne chuckled as the playful cat purred and rubbed herself against Michonne's neck.
"I dunno- certainly not something so small." Rick said and Shiva stopped her purring to bare her teeth at Rick.
"Shiva is 20 pounds of pure woman." Michonne praised as she lifted he cat further up in her arms. "But she is named after a Tiger Ezekiel cared for when he was living in India."
Rick nodded and reached out to pet the cat again. Ezekiel was a very interesting man.
"Hey dad. Hey Michonne. Forgot about us back here?" Carl asked coming to stand at the fence with Andre in his arms.
"Of course not. Just have something I need you for back at our place." Michonne explained as she deposited Shiva to the other side of the fence.
"Okay let me just say goodbye to Ezra, Aliyah and Mariam." Carl said as he put Andre down before running over to say goodbye to his new friends.
"Shivaa!" Andre cheered as he stumbled after the very fat cat who was running away in terror.
Michonne lit the last candle on the table and stepped back to where Andre, Carl and Rick stood.
"So I lit a candle for everyone we have lost. This is another chance to say the things we never said to them." Michonne explained as she grabbed Carl and Rick's hands.
"What do we say?" Carl asked and Michonne shrugged with a small smile.
"Anything. Or we can just sit here and think about them. This was something me and my mother did when anyone close to us died."
Carl stepped forward and stared down at the flame for one of the candles. Behind it was a picture of Lori and Carl. He hadn't seen it in years but it had always been his favorite. She had her hair up- Carl always thought she was prettiest that way. She had on a light blue dress that matched the color of Carl's eyes and it was a candid picture right after a baseball game.
"Where did you get this?" Carl asked Michonne with tears in his eyes.
"Your dad. He didn't know what it was for but I asked for some photos."
Carl nodded and moved onto the next candle. It was a picture of him, Duane and Enid from a few years ago. Duane was Black Panther, Carl was Captain America and Enid was Wonderwoman.
"I was willing to forgive Enid being a DC fan because that picture was just too cute." Michonne said and Carl nodded as he moved onto the next picture.
"Your mom?" Carl asked as he picked up a picture of a beautiful woman who looked just like Michonne. Her hair was curly and free and her smile was as bright as the sun shining behind her.
"Yeah. I realized I never did this for her." Michonne confessed as she took the picture from Carl's hand.
She remembered this picture well. Her mother had found a beautiful white sundress at a consignment store in town. She fell in love with it instantly and wore it home inspiring an impromptu photoshoot in the backyard. Michonne didn't think she remembered her parents looking so in love. Her father spent the rest of the afternoon fawning over her mother in that white dress. He took pictures of her until the sunset.
"She was beautiful Michonne." Rick said quietly and Carl silently agreed.
"I can start if you want." Michonne offered and Carl instantly felt at ease. "Okay. Let's see… Duane." Michonne began as she picked up the picture of Duane. "I never got to meet you but I feel like I know your heart. Your father speaks of you so often and if you were anything like him I know you were such a kind boy."
"He was. He was a great kid." Rick said with a cough as he tried to clear his tears.
"Duane was my best friend." Carl said quietly and Michonne placed a hand on her shoulder. "He always made me want to do better. Be a better friend- a better guy."
"And he had great taste in Halloween costumes." Michonne said quietly and Carl let out a short laugh.
"And he had great taste in Halloween costumes."
" I have something to say to Lori if that's okay.." Rick requested as he stepped forward and moved Andre's hand from his to Michonne's. He smiled at the photo that he managed to get right after one of Carl's baseball games.
It was a pretty uneventful game- neither team had scored until near the end but his boy brought home the victory.
Lori was always Carl's biggest cheerleader- she toted obnoxiously large poster boards to every game and made sure to wear homemade shirts with Carl's name and number adorning them.
He wasn't sure why she wore a dress that game- it was a stark difference from her usual jeans and t-shirt but he couldn't complain. She looked beautiful in her baby blue sundress and sandals and she looked at him with such love.
"Hey... uh hi Lori." Rick stammered and he felt a little foolish talking to a candle and a picture. "I hope that you're not in pain wherever you are. And I'm sorry for any pain you felt when you were here. You didn't deserve it." He frowned as hot tears ran down his face.
"I'm not angry at you Lori. I haven't been for a very long time. I think maybe we weren't ever meant to be together for any other purpose but to be Carl's parents. And if that's true... it's enough. It was enough Lori. I promise to take care of him. I promise to help him be the best man, not that he needs me for that."
Rick smiled as Carl came over to him and hugged his side.
"We'll be alright. I promise."
"Carl are you-?" Michonne began but she stopped short when she noticed Carl was crying into Rick's side.
"I love you mom." Was all he managed to say and it was more than enough. He didn't have to say some long soliloquy of how he felt. Wherever Lori was, she heard Carl's declaration.
"Zorora." Michonne whispered, squeezing Andre's hand.
"What does that mean?" Carl asked as he wiped at his eyes.
"Oh, it's a Shona for rest."
"Zorora." Carl repeated with a nod.
"My mom used to say this poem.. or prayer I suppose, when anyone ever died. May I?" Michonne requested and everyone silently anticipated her continuing. " Zorora. tinokuchema nhasi asi tichakuona mangwana. Ndinonamatira iwe, ndinokumirira. Asi zvino unogona kuzorora." Michonne recited perfectly from memory and she placed her mother's photo down onto the table.
"We cry for you today but will see you tomorrow. I pray for you, I wait for you. But now you can rest." Michonne repeated in English and Rick let out a long breath.
"That's beautiful Michonne."
"I just needed you guys to know that it's never too late to say what you need to say.. whenever you need to. And I need you to know that I've got you. I made Lori a promise.. and I intend on keeping it." Michonne said as she wiped at Carl's eyes.
"Thank you." Carl said as he leaned into Michonne's touch and she smiled.
It began to get chilly and Andre was struggling to stay awake- he had done a good job staying quiet but was now quietly whimpering and pulling at Rick's pants.
"He's tired." Rick concludes as he collected Andre into his arms.
"You can take him to bed dad. But I was hoping me and Michonne could sit out here a little longer." Carl requested and Michonne was touched he wanted to spend time alone together.
"Of course. I'll be inside." Rick said quietly as he gave a kiss to the tops of each of their heads.
Once Rick had left, Michonne and Carl took a seat in the lounge chair in front of the candles.
"Sometimes I'm worried I'm gonna be this monster that my mom would hate." Carl confessed and Michonne frowned but let him continue. "What if I'm always so angry that I'll never be able to be who I was before."
"Would that be such a bad thing?"
"W-what?" Carl asked confused about what she meant.
"Would it be such a bad thing I'd you weren't like you were before?" Michonne clarified and Carl frowned at this. "Because I can tell you Carl you will never be that boy again."
"Excuse me?" Carl stammered and he felt himself getting upset. Wasn't Michonne supposed to be the one who held out hope for a better future?
"Carl, you were shot. You lost your eye and you were in a coma for months. Your best friend died and your other friend was the one who killed him."
Carl stood up and walked away from Michonne crossing his arm angrily.
"Your parents divorced and your mother died Carl."
Carl shook his head as if he could dispel the memories and Michonne stood and stopped his pacing.
"it's a lot to say out loud. It's just a lot but Carl it happened and you will never be the same."
"But who am I if I'm not who I was?"
"You're still you. It's okay to not be the same. You've been through more heartache at sixteen than most adults have in their whole lives. You are strong, brave and so kind." Michonne praised and Carl held his head down. "And you're a Grimes and that means a hell of a lot."
Carl finally smiled at Michonne and shook his head.
"I'm not worried about you Carl Grimes. Not at all."
Carl walked into Michonne's hug and let out a breath he had been holding ever since he woke up.
Michonne held him until it got too cold to stay outside and his tears became laughter.
And later that night when Andre and Michonne were fast asleep Rick found Carl sitting outside by himself.
Lori's candle was still lit and as he got closer he realized Carl was having a conversation. He was telling her about Michonne and Andre- about how beautiful Montana was and how much she would have liked it here.
Tonight everyone realized they would never be the same. Things would never be the same.
And when Rick curled around Michonne in bed that night it finally felt like that was a good thing.
Author's Note: Yay growth! We love to see it. Poor Rick thought he was gonna get some lol but don't worry they have three weeks to get down and dirty! I hope to write some more this week so who knows, there could be some more coming soon. Anyways stay safe, go outside and get some fresh air. Call your mom :)
