Special shout out to Aeris Mae for your comments!
::Chapter Twenty Five: Lost in My Head::
"Please, no."
There was smoke and fire everywhere. The smell of sulfur, magic, and blood wove together making me want to gag as I pulled Lenore closer. "Please Alexander, not her." I buried my face in her hair, trying to breathe in her shampoo, her scent, anything but the massacre around us. I was desperate not to see the Pyreflies floating in the air, dancing around and through her body.
I lost her. My sister. My Summoner. How? Why? Why would she do that? I was her Guardian. I was suppose to protect her, not the other way around.
"Terra." Someone put a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged them off harshly.
"Leave me alone." I couldn't deal with anything else right now. Not with my sister dead in my arms. I didn't care if Bevelle's troops were coming closer, or their rumored super-machina had finally appeared. I was not leaving my sister. Ever. I swore to her as her Guardian that I would die by her side, and I was determined to fulfill my promise.
"Terra, get a hold of yourself."
The voice was familiar, yet I couldn't think of a name. "Get a hold of myself? My sister, Lenore, she's-she's dead. How can I get a hold of myself?"
Strong yet gentle hands weighed heavy on each shoulder. "You need to focus, or more people will die."
I clutched at Lenore's body as she became lighter and lighter in my arms. "I don't care! She's dead!"
"I understand. I know what it's like." There was a pause before he pulled me close, Lenore's body gone, replaced with his familiar scent as he pressed his forehead against mine. "You need to focus on the here and now. You taught me that, Terra."
Shouts in Al Bhed filled the air, the words too quick for me to decipher. The beaten dirt was replaced by metal and sand, the smells remained but shifted slightly as memory gave away to reality. I wasn't knelt in the remains of a battlefield with my sister, but in the middle of a war scene with Auron. Instead of being reassured, I choked back tears. Memories of that battle remained, no longer fragmented and repressed. My sister was truly dead, and she had died in my arms on the plains near Mobliz, where Fenrir had called home.
But that wasn't the here and now. Here and now was Rikku's home under attack, Yuna was missing, and Rikku and Tidus had ran off.
With a deep breath I pulled back and looked around, realizing I had ran off too. I faced Auron guilt and shame crushing down. He was so close, his knees pressed against mine. "I'm-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened there," I tried to fake a smile, though it didn't seem to fully form. "Horrible time to have a crazy-Terra moment, I know, but…"
"Shh," he shushed, though it was the gentle kind. His brown eye full of warmth and understanding. "You don't need to explain yourself."
I understand. I know what it's like. Though I doubt he had ever had a crazy-moment, I did remember he talked of his friends. Friends he admitted were departed.
"Thank you," I finished instead, and earned the faintest trace of a smile.
"Sir Auron! Terra!"
Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri appeared out of the smoke, looking confused and bewildered. Auron's grip on my shoulders tightened for just a second before he stood and offered me his hand. I gathered my strength and accepted his hand, no longer surprised that he could haul me up without trying. I was pretty sure his katana weighed more than I did...okay, maybe the same, half, whatever.
"Is everything okay?" Lulu asked as we met them halfway, showing her maternal side usually reserved for Yuna and sometime Rikku.
"Yep, fine!" I chirped before she could pat me down and remind me more of Lenore. "I just got a little overwhelmed, that's all."
"Don't blame ya," Wakka added as he grimly surveyed the damage. Apparently instead of running away from the complex, I had ran straight inside. Different kinds of metal were hodgepodge together, looking more like a bunker than a home. The desert continued to try and stake its claim as more sand covered the metal floors about an inch deep. Thankfully though, there weren't any bodies converting to Pyreflies in here. "What are the Guado thinking, attacking the Al Bhed like this?"
"They had a psychopath for a leader, so clearly they're not the sainest bunch," I pointed out, earning a slight slight nod from him.
"True."
"Which way?" Auron addressed Kimahri, who paused before pointing deeper towards the complex.
"Rikku that way." The blue Ronso was easy to follow through the smoke-filled twisting corridors, his hair dully catching the flashing emergency lights. I had kept my eyes firmly on Auron's back as we ran through clusters of Pyreflies, focusing on the here and now so I didn't lose myself once more. I tried to listen to the angry Al Bhed was shouting over the intercom, trying to decipher what they were saying. Summoner and Guado were clear, and I was fairly certain on the words airship and sanctuary. Everything else was indistinguishable.
We met a few more groups that consisted of Guado and fiends, but our single-minded determination made them barely a challenge. We needed to find the rest of our group. Our Summoner. Our leader. Our...Rikku. And after that, we needed to get the heck out of Dodge. Or, you know, Sanubia.
Finally the maze of hallways opened to a large room, where Valefor and Ixion were making mincemeat out of a large troupe of fiends while a whole squadron of Guado laid crumpled on the floor. Two Summoners I didn't recognize directed the Aeons, while one I did recognize appeared to be in a heated debate with Rikku and Tidus.
Unfortunately, it wasn't Yuna.
"What the...Bel?"
The Summoner in question looked up with actual relief on her face. But before I reconcile the expression on Belgemine's usually pinched face, Tidus was all but storming towards us with his usually upbeat visage now contorted with rage.
"Did you know?!" He erupted, focused on all of us. His fists were clenched tight and quaked with pent up fury. "Tell me; did you know? Did you know! That the Final Aeon…. That it would…. That Yuna was planning…." Words failed him, and fear could be seen in his blue eyes along with anger. I was completely lost as to what he was trying to say, but if the dejected and guilty look on everyone else's faces were anything to go by, they did. And it wasn't good at all.
"What?" I asked as the silence stretched on. "What's Yuna planning to do with this 'Final Aeon'?" What the Final Aeon was a mystery in itself.
"When Yuna summons the Final Aeon, it will cripple Sin," Belgemine answered for them, her voice even and matter-of-fact. "And then it will kill Yuna. Every Summoner who undergoes his or her pilgrimage knows how their journey will end."
Tidus shook his head vehemently. "No. Not Yuna. She's not going to die. I won't let her!"
"Do you really think you can stop her?" Lulu pointed out as I struggled to comprehend what Belgemine just said. Kill. An Aeon killing its Summoner? How-how was that even possible? That wasn't possible...was it? "Don't you think we tried to convince her not to become a Summoner? She knows better than anyone what it means to be a Summoner. And, ultimately, it's her choice. Not yours, not ours, hers."
"A Summoner is a defender of the people, a spiritual leader," I found myself arguing, meeting Lulu's ruby eyes, and then Belgemine's. "They don't journey to sacrifice themselves, they journey to grow stronger and to be able to protect and lead."
"To summon the Final Aeon is to protect," the male Summon argued gently as he and his scantily clad counterpart joined the conversation. "To rid Spria of Sin is worth any cost. What is our life compared for the hundred we may save?"
"Even when you know Sin will come back?" Rikku challenged. "Is it really worth it?"
"Your argument only proves how little you understand," the second Summoner added, familiar but I couldn't place from where. She tossed her black hair over her shoulder with a scoff. "Of course it's worth it. I would give my life gladly if it meant even just one year without Sin."
People were sacrificed themselves knowing Sin would come back? And they thought that was okay? No. No! That was far from okay! That was sick and wrong! It was the most twisted and backwards logic I had heard yet.
Suddenly the Al Bhed on the intercom broke into Spirian."Rikku! You had better get on this ship now! We take off in five minutes!"
The argument died at the shout, and Rikku shook her head slightly. "We can argue about this later. We need to leave, now. We can find Yuna using the machina in the airship."
"Wait, she's not here?" Wakka looked a little lost. "But…"
"The Guado came here for her," Belgemine answered simply, making my stomach twist. They...they had her. Those crazy Guado had our Yuna. How did they know she was here? More importantly, what were they going to do with her? Were they going to make her suffer for her imagined crimes?
She hadn't been the only one, though. We all shared that burden. Not just her.
《○》《●》
Finally, after all this time, something normal. Actual lights, the quiet hum of machinery. Civilization at last.
"I can't believe this! A flying machina?" I wasn't sure if Wakka was complaining or astounded, but I grinned anyways as the lift took us up.
"Isn't it awesome?"
He shot me an incredulous look. Definitely more confused than angry. "Not the words I'd used, ya?"
The lift opened into a large observatory room, with floor to ceiling windows that showed the outside slowly falling away as the ship rose into the dark sky. It looked like it would be roomy, but it was anything but. Dozen, hundreds, of Al Bhed were crowded into the room with an assortment of items. Children and babies were crying, people were sobbing, others begging and searching for others.
It was a ship full of refugees. My stomach twisted as I followed Rikku who led our party through the twisting halls of the Airship. Everywhere you looked, there were more people in varying stages of grief. Children crying for their parents, others just staring vacantly in shock. People clutching on to small trinkets as if they were their lifeline. Or rather, all they had left.
We finally reached the bridge, which was downright spacious compared to the rest of the ship. There were only a handful of people here, all busy working on the machina controls, piloting the ship. A bald middle-aged man was barking out commands in Al Bhed with an accent so thick I could barely understand.
"Vydran!" Rikku all but tackled into the commanding man. He didn't pause before wrapping an arm around her, holding her close against his side as he continued shouting commands.
"Lybdyeh Cid! Fa yna yd ubdesym raekrd!" (Captain Cid! We are at optimal height!) Someone reported after a moment, drawing Cid's attention.
He gave a grim nod and smile. "Drah mad'c pmuf druca pycdyntc cgo rekr!" (Then let's blow those bastards sky high!)
Rikku clutched tighter to her father, pressing her face in his shoulder. And we...we could only stand by and watch as missiles flew towards the burning city, lighting it up in the biggest explosion I had ever seen. One after another after another, blast after blast in a catastrophic wave that climbed high into the night sky.
And the ship sung the Prayer in harmony. Starting with Cid, but growing quickly. Not in Al Bhed, but that ancient dialect that seemed to predate everything. I could hear people in the hall, their voices swelling and interspersed with choked sobs. Soon even I was chiming in, my heart sharing in their grief.
"Why do the Al Bhed know the Hymn of the Fayth?" Wakka whispered to Lulu beside me. Not asked in dersion or as a sneer, but in honest confusion.
"Because you Yevonites forgot that the Hymn is older than Sin," Cid barked in perfect Spirian, focusing his narrowed green eyes on the Blitzball player. "It doesn't belong to Yevon. Hell, even the desert winds sing that song."
"We called it the Summoner's Prayer," I added, "back in Zanarkand. It's a song of mourning. Of grief, rage, and despair. A song that beeseeches the Aeons themselves."
"Zanarkand?" Lulu questioned, her brows knitted in confusion.
"It's complicated," both Tidus and I said at the same time. I didn't miss Auron's faint snort. Nor the look of rage on Belgemine's face.
Oh, yeah. Oops.
"Where's Yuna?" Tidus pressed before anyone could say anything else.
"Those damned Guado took her. We're working on a way to track them, but…" Cid gestured to a computer panel that had exposed wiring and a dead vid-screen. "It's gonna take a while."
A blast suddenly rocked the ship, screams echoing from the rest of the ship. ""Fryd dra ramm fyc dryd?" (What the hell was that?) Cid roared as chatter erupted around us.
"Veahtc, cen!" (Fiends, sir!) Someone called out. "Guado ryja chilg uh dra creb yht yna yddylgehk!" (Guado have snuck on the ship and are attacking!)
They were still attacking? This was a airship full of refugees! They had already destroyed their home...or rather forced them to destroy their own home. Wasn't that enough for these bastards? Tidus met my eyes before looking to Wakka, Auron, and everyone else. There was no need of a rallying speech or telling us what to do.
"Leave it to us, pops!" Rikku said anyways as Tidus turned and ran for the door, and we fell in line behind him.
Except Belgemine. "Terra," she snapped as I tried to run past, making me pause. There was a scowl on her face as she approached to hiss quietly: "What have you told them?"
"Tidus is from Zanarkand," I tried to explain quickly, anxious to join the others. I had to help. I had to fight. "And Auron really is my Auron. So of course I had to tell them the truth. Well, as much as I could, things are still extremely confusing, and we've been really busy." I danced anxiously as the yelling continued, the Al Bhed muffled but clearly calling for help. "Look, I'll explain everything later, I'm going to go help them. Ok bye!"
I didn't give her a chance before dashing off, following the screams and sound of battle. People ran the opposite way while I pushed my way down the crowded hallways, finally finding a break as a Chimera roared into view, along with my favorite co-Guardian.
"Oh fun, Chimmy the Chimera junior," I quipped as I stopped at Auron's side. And no one else. "So...where are the others?"
"We split up to manage more ground," Auron answered before rushing forward, striking the fiend with his sword. The bull roared in anguish and the snake tail went to bite, only to have a bullet land dead between its eyes.
"And you were going to take on Chimmy here yourself?!" I continued to provide cover fire as he hacked away at the beast. It didn't take long, a few minutes at most, before the fiend collapsed into Pyreflies. And...yeah, Auron could have taken the Chimera on himself. But he was nice enough not to point that out.
"Lady Belgemine?" he asked instead as we ran towards the next commotion. An Evil Eye glaring down at a pair of kids, its back conveniently turned towards us.
"Left her on the bridge." Auron's blade caught its wing joint, distracting it from the kids. It turned with a disorienting screech, but a bullet shot in its wide eye silenced it for good. "Can't let you have all the fun."
There was a thoughtful sound, and silence lingered...well, not really. There was brief talk as we faced fiend after fiend, such as behind you! And duck! And the classic watch out! Plus jumbled Al Bhed as the passengers either fled past us, pausing briefly to thank us, or offer potions and healing spells. But there was no actual conversation.
Finally after likely hours, it seemed like we had decimated the last fiend. I rested against a wall, taking deep breaths as Auron listened for anymore commotions. "I assume you will stay with your Summoner now that you found her," he commented once I caught my breath and we continued to patrol the twisting hallways. This had to be a deluxe airliner to have this much space. One of those luxury cruisers meant for rich people's vacations.
"Uhhh," I replied eloquently. That particular problem never crossed my mind. Granted, I had thought Belgemine had been waiting in Remiem. Not somehow ending up with the Al Bhed. "I don't know?" He paused, giving me a look. I assumed it was disapproval. "Don't get me wrong! I know I'm suppose to protect Bel and all that, never mind she can handle herself just fine, but…" I scratched at my head, wishing that would get my thoughts in order. "I don't know if she will go along with finding Yuna and stuff. And Yuna…" Yuna was the Summoner I wanted to follow. The one I wanted to guard. Even if Auron and Tidus weren't here, Yuna was a hundred times nicer than Belgemine. "I want to find Yuna. I want to make sure she is okay. If Bel tags along for that, awesome! If not, well, I never really wanted to be her Guardian anyways."
Were Guardians allowed to say such things? I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but it was the truth. And it was Auron. My stomach still twisted with worry as he silently studied me, but I refused to look away. Finally he gave a half-smile and a brief squeeze on my shoulder. "Your help would be appreciated."
That made me grin as I followed him down the halls, maybe doing my little victory dance to the confusion and amusement to the Al Bhed around us. We circled the halls for a little longer before heading back to the bridge. Belgemine was nowhere to be seen, but the others were. Lulu and Wakka were talking quietly, Kimahri standing guard near the door.
"You lot are something else," Cid commented as I collapsed between Rikku and Tidus, who were sitting against the wall. Rikku leaned on my shoulder with an tired whimper, smelling more than a bit singed "But...thank you."
"Any news on Yuna?" Auron asked as my eyes started to fall shut. The hum of machina and the warmth too relaxing to ignore. Judging by Tidus' quiet snores, he thought the same thing.
"Long story short, we think they're taking her to Bevelle. Buddy here…" I didn't hear the rest of the conversation as I drifted off. Yuna was alive. We could work with that.
With or without Belgemine.
《○》《●》
"Terra."
"Five more minutes," I mumbled, curling closer to the wall.
"No. Now." The sharp tone was punctuated with a painful kick to my side. That woke me up with a yelp, displacing Rikku who mumbled unintelligibly. I jumped up, expecting a fiend, only to see Belgemine with her classic displeased expression edging on murderous rage.
"Really Bel?" I whined, scrubbing the sleep from my face. "It's been a hell of a week."
Her lips pinched together into a fine line, and she turned and stormed towards the door. I scratched my head, looking around the bridge in confusion. The lights were dimmed and Rikku and I weren't the only that decided the floor was a good place to sleep. But none were our fellow Guardians. Only a few Al Bhed were awake, monitoring things as the ship breezed through the night sky, stars above and dark clouds below.
"Terra!" Belgemine hissed from the doorway. And yeah, there was full-blown murder shining in her eyes. She gestured sharply. Ohhh, she wanted me to follow her. I carefully tiptoed around Rikku and the others, which was hard to do with my heavy boots. Thankfully the ones I did nudge accidentally only mumbled and swatted blindly.
There was a small hallway outside the bridge which was actually empty. It gave Belgemine the perfect space to start her lecture: "You told them you are of Zanarkand? What were you thinking! You could have ruined everything!"
"I only said something after I found out Tidus was from Zanarkand too!" I defended just as hotly. "He's the Tidus I remember! And Auron too! He's my Auron! I could have found that out way earlier if someone didn't keep silencing me all the time!"
"What are you talking about?" she swore, and I honestly for a moment thought she was going deny Silencing me for most of our time together before she continued: "There is no way Sir Auron is from your Zanarkand. I met him on my pilgrimage with Carmo ten years ago. And I silenced you so this wouldn't happen! What did you do to make the Guado so upset with Lady Yuna?! The Al Bhed have messed everything up! If they would have left well enough alone…"
She continued, but my mind was more focused on the first conundrum. She had met Auron? Maybe...maybe she had met a different Auron? Did my Auron just assume the title and didn't bother to correct anyone? No, that one dude, Kenny or whatever, knew him. Auron knew this new Spira. But how?
Did it even matter much? Auron was Auron. My Auron.
"Wait, how did the Al Bhed screw things up?" I interrupted her. "They just had their home destroyed! How could you accuse them of…" I trailed off, noticing the deadpan expression on her face. "What?"
"Terra, do you ever actually think?" she swore with an exasperated huff. "Did you even realize that I had been abducted?"
Wait. "Abducted?" Things started to piece together while Belgemine groaned, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Yes. Abducted. What did you honestly think had happened?"
"I...actually thought you had a temper tantrum and left me behind?"
"By the Aeons above," she sighed. "I have never met anyone as dense as you. Not even a Sin-touched person could be so dumb."
"Hey! It was a sensible thing to assume, miss prissy pants! Even Yuna agreed, are you calling her stupid too?"
"For getting involved in this, yes!" she argued. "What did you do, Terra, to cause her so much trouble? To enrage the Guado so much?"
"I didn't do anything!" I defended before pausing. "Okay, well, I was the one that called Seymour a psychopath, but he totally was. But Kimahri was the one that attacked him first!"
Belgemine grew pale. "You taunted and attacked a Maester of Yevon?"
She didn't know. Alexander above, she really didn't know what happened in Macalania. "Uh, Bel...we did more than attack Seymour. We killed him."
"YOU DID WHAT?!" her screech probably woke half of the airship, if not all of it. Her brown eyes were wide, and I have never seen so much emotion on her face.
Unfortunately, other than shock, most of it was obvious rage that did not bode well for me. "You...what kind of sick joke…" she snarled, all decorum lost. "Are you truly a demon sent from hell to perpetuate this endless cycle of death?"
"Ok, ow." I couldn't help but quip despite the feeling she was about to murder me. "I may have had a hand in all this, but I was just tagging along! What happened is not my fault! Seymour killed his father, Yuna was going to confront him by herself, and we went to be her backup like good Guardians. The only one to blame is Seymour for being an absolute murdering psychopath. You rather us be all 'oh no! He's a Maester so we better lay down our weapons and allow him to do whatever?' That is not what a Guardian does. Screw his position, he was trying to kill us, so we just killed him first!"
Belgemine's anger slid away, and that expressionless mask fell into place once more. "This is far worse than anything I had imagined when Odin demanded my service. I must meditate and think how to salvage this."
