Austin had to return at some point. TJ knew this, and when he stepped into the school the day of Austins return, he, well, didn't feel much. He didn't feel much of anything lately, so it wasn't that unusual. Feeling anything was too much, and numbness was welcome. Numbness made getting through the day easier.

"Guess who's back, you little shit." Austin said after tripping him in the middle of the hallway. Fortunately, TJ wasn't carrying anything in his arms, so nothing in his bag was scattered on the dirty floor. "Did you miss me? I'm surprised you're showing your ugly face around here after what happened. What are you, stupid?"

TJ climbed back on his feet and kept walking. Head down, just trying to get to his locker without issue. That last part, though, wasn't happening. Austin had plenty to say, plenty of insults and threats to toss at him. Eventually he reached his friends, who started telling Austin off and to leave him alone. Why was it so hard for him to do that for himself? He shouldn't need his friends to fix his problems. Especially not his girlfriend, as strong as she was. It wasn't her fight.

He wrapped and arm around CJ, gently pulling her to walk away. Austin wasn't worth being late for class.

ZZ

He just needed to get through the day. TJ thought about cutting class and heading out the woods behind school for a smoke, until he realized he left his cigarettes at home. He kept an eye out for Colten while walking to class, but he was pretty sure the guy wasn't in school today. Lucky.

Maybe he should use one his mental health days, but he still worried if he would need them later. And his parents would be concerned that he was using them so soon after getting back from the mental hospital making them worry over him for nothing.

Suddenly that hospital didn't sound so bad right about now.

TJ was jolted out his thoughts during his walk to fifth period by Austin shoving him against the lockers. He took a longer route to his next class, one with less students to bump into, and it gave him more time to think before he struggled to pay attention in class yet again.

"I don't get you," Austin spat. "Any other kid with a clue wouldn't show their face around here. Are you stupid?"

"Are you?" TJ spat back. "I beat you up in the park, did you forget?"

It was true, he didn't feel much of anything lately. But when he did, it always went to the extremes. He didn't feel sad, he felt miserable. He didn't feel annoyed, he felt exasperated. And he didn't feel mad, he was furious, and it was quickly bubbling up.

Austins face contorted with that comment.

"Shut the fuck up!" He nearly shouted. He slapped TJ against the lockers again. "That doesn't matter. You aren't doing anything now, are you? You never do. You're nothing but a coward! A short as fuck, useless, stupid, coward! You shouldn't even be here, no one wants you here! Everyone would happier if you were gone!"

The next thing he knew, he slammed Austins face in the lockers on the opposite wall. The sudden BANG caught the attention of students making their way through nearby halls, who immediately turned to see what was happening. But TJ didn't see them. He didn't see anything but red as he slammed Austins head again and again and again, until Austin managed to get out of his grasp. Then the fists started flying.

The halls were filled with shouts and screams of the other students who wanted a view of the fight. By the time teachers got to them, plenty of punches were landed on both of them. Pulling and keeping them apart took multiple teachers, as the two boys struggled to reach each other and continue beating each other to a pulp.

ZZZ

TJ came out of his rage fueled haze when he was sitting outside Prickly's office. At some point, he was given an ice pack that he held to his head, but he didn't remember. Austin sat on the chair on the other side of the door, but TJ didn't give him more than a glance and saw the left side of the bullys face starting to bruise. He could hear his parents, and who he assumed were Austins parents, inside the office.

"You only got a few good hits in because of luck," Austin spat. "If they didn't pull us apart, I would've knocked you out, you little shit. You better watch your back. No one even wants you here. That's why no one bothered to help you. They were cheering me on."

There was a ringing in his ears, that made it hard to hear, but not to hard to make out sounds if he tried to listen. However, it made it easy to zone out again. Part of him hoped that when he came back to, he'd be in bed and far away from this. But it he kept being pulled out of his haze just as quick as he sunk into it."

Nothing wanted to go his way. TJ could just imagine what was being said about the fight around the school. Talks about what happened at the dance was just starting to diminish.

That was so stupid!

Can't you control yourself?

Don't you ever think about anything you do?

"Just kill yourself, fucking freak," scoffed Austin.

He managed to get that one out just before the door to the office opened. TJ couldn't look at his parents as he followed them out of school. He was pretty sure only reason they only got in school suspension was because as bad as the fight was, it was viewed as less severe as the trash incident at the dance. Out of school and into the car, he welcomed how easy it was to disconnect from himself and not think about anything.

The ride home felt like it lasted forever. TJ couldn't tell if his parents were trying to talk to him or not. They could be giving him the car ride to calm down, he didn't know. His eyes were locked on the car window, and the cars and houses they passed meshed together like a blur. He wasn't sure he was able to talk, anyways.

Walking in the house felt like he was on autopilot. The tension he felt didn't budge when the front door was shut. His shoulders were still tight, his hands were still in fists, and his teeth was still clenched despite being in the one place he should feel safest. Blinking, he saw his parents trying to talk to him, but the ringing in his ears kept getting louder, too loud to hear anything except his own pulse.

His parents quickly noticed the way he looked at them, as if he couldn't see them at all, or looking strait through them. Dr. Sage had told them about when he got like this. They tried bringing him to the couch, but he wouldn't budge from where he stood in front of the door. He wouldn't move, but they saw the tears rise in his eyes and quickly pour down his face as everything hit him all at once. His body racked with sobs as he came back to them.

ZZ

When TJ finally woke up, he felt like a ton of bricks. The ringing in his ears was gone, and he wiped his face of the dried tears. Had he been crying? The whole day didn't feel real. He found that he was on the couch, curled up with a blanket over him. He preferred his bed, but this was fine. He didn't want to move from this spot.

". . .What about Oakwood?"

He heard his parents in the kitchen talking. He listened in, at least until he dozed off or decided to make his way upstairs.

"That's a private school," said his dad. "We can look into it, but it we might not be able to afford it."

Were they talking about another school? Were they talking about sending him to another school?

"We can take out a mortgage on the house, plus there's the extra money we were saving in Becky's college fund if it's expensive," he hear his mother say. "We barely used any of it since she's going to college in Germany."

"There's that, too. We should consider about the other schools, too," said his dad. "How about 9th Street Middle School?"

"That's in another school district. They might not allow it, and we would have to move if they deny us and we decided on him going there," said his mom. "There's homeschooling."

"Then we might have to hire a private tutor, that might not be too expensive," his dad said. "There's a lot to think about here. . ."

"Well we have to pick one of them! I want him out of that school, Sam!" His mother held back from shouting to avoid waking him. "We should've pulled him out of there a long time ago!"

"I know, I know. We're figure this out, we just need to write everything down and pick which one works the best. . ."

TJ curled up tighter under his blanket. Becky's college fund? A mortgage? A private tutor? He was costing his parents money they didn't have. He couldn't stop being a burden to them, could he? He was a burden to everyone he came in contact with. His friends feeling like they have to defend him, his parents going into debt because of him, they'd be better off without him-

He should just kill himself.

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .