~Chapter Twenty-One~
You blink and you miss a beat, keep one of your eyes open at all times
You think that your on the brink, the shit hasn't even begun to hit the fan
~Incubus, Consequences~
I go over my pre-sleepover checklist one more time: chips, check, pizza, en route, soda, in the fridge, and sugar-free apple juice, right next to the cola. Unfortunately. I've completely cut the caffeine out of my diet. I had slowly weaned myself off of it over the last few months and I thought it would have gotten easier by now, but I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.
I head into the living room. The television is set up to play a movie of Caroline's choice (Elena and I had picked the movies the previous two times, even though that was ages ago). I bring out extra pillows and throw blankets from the linen closet. I lay them on the couch and make my way to my bedroom. As per our Girl's Night tradition, we all wear our comfiest pajamas, and craziest socks we can find. I've never been happier to put on my old, worn green pig PJs and polka-dot toe socks. My feet are killing me. My entire freaking body is killing me. I hope that I'm able to unwind tonight. I also hope that relaxing will be enough to make me feel better.
I check my phone, both of the girls are on their way, and will be arriving soon. I scroll through my messages, expecting to see something from Damon in my inbox. I don't. I tell myself that I'm not disappointed—that I will see him tomorrow night—and he can tell me all about his day at the recruitment center. Sure, we will be shopping for supplies and attempting to put my old crib together—if it even holds up to the current safety standards. We will also be hammering out a few of the details that Damon believes are simple. I'm not so sure. Despite all of my uneasiness about the unknowns, I can't get shake the butterflies that fill my stomach when I think about spending time with him.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Curse Damon Salvatore and his pretty eyes and quick-wit. And amazing physique and devil-may-care attitude…
My parents have already welcomed Care and Elena into our home by the time I've finished getting ready. Both of them are decked out in their sleepover best—Care even broke out her garish unicorn slippers for the event. That's not what I'm most focused on, though. Elena is overshadowed by a giant box covered in pink wrapping paper. Caroline is holding a much smaller bag, stuffed to the brim with tie dye tissue paper. The rest of their belongings have been tossed haphazardly on the ground.
"What's this stuff?"
"It's for you," Care says, stepping over her duffel bag to get to the living room. Elena follows suit.
"You girls have a good time," Dad says. And it's clear he's only addressing my best friends.
I turn my attention to both of my parental units. "You guys enjoy the date night."
"We will," Mom assures me. "The pizza is in the kitchen. It came right before the girls got here. Your father took care of the tip."
"Thank you." I tell my father, fidgeting with a lock of hair that escaped my ponytail.
He nods once and it seems as if acknowledging me has caused him physical pain. I wouldn't be surprised if my assumption turns out to be true. He and my mother have been a bit short with each other lately and I can only assume that I'm the cause of the discord. They are probably only going out to reset their feelings about me—the situation I've found myself in.
My mother hugs me. "Remember, it's just you girls tonight. No wild parties." I'm sure she said that for my dad's benefit.
"Of course, Mrs. Bennett!" Care and Elena call out. "Have a good time!"
"Thank you, sweeties!"
When I join my friends, Elena is sprawled out on the loveseat and Caroline is flipping through the catalog of available movies. I curl up on a couch cushion and wait for Care to finalize her selection. Of course, I already know what she's going to choose. She is a hopeless romantic and anytime she has the opportunity to have Elena and I watch her favorite film, she jumps on it.
Sure enough, when I focus on the TV the title card for The Notebook is frozen on the screen.
"That's it," says Elena. "The next time you pick a movie it can't be based on a Nicolas Sparks novel."
I nod my head in agreement. "I second that!"
"Whatever—I don't know why you guys insist on hating the greatest love story ever, but I'm going to enjoy the two hours of Ryan Gosling."
"Let's just give Bon her gifts." Elena amends, pushing the giant box my way. I look at both packages sitting on the coffee table. I have no clue as to what they are or why they got them for me.
They know I hate getting presents—even on my birthday. I'd much rather spend time with the people I care about. The sleepover is enough of a treat for me.
"You guys didn't have to get me anything…I mean, thank you."
"You know, half the reason we get you things is so we can see the awkward look on your face."
"Ha ha ha," I lift the lid off of the box.
Inside is a large, black bag. I pull it out and see that it has many different pockets, of all different sizes. In the center, it is emblazoned with a pink B. It takes me a second to realize the bag's purpose. It's not a purse and it's not a laptop bag or a backpack. It's a diaper bag. It hits me then that this is real. I'm going to be in charge of keeping another human alive. She's not just a picture or a thought. Of course, I knew this. I've known it for months now, I've been preparing for it. I don't know why a diaper bag of all things, makes me lose it, but it does.
And now I'm sobbing harder than Care at the end of the cinematic masterpiece that is The Notebook.
Elena immediately comes to my rescue. "It's okay, Bonnie. What's wrong?"
"What if I'm wrong?" I wail. "What if I can't do it?"
"I'm sure you can. It's Damon everyone is unsure about, Bonnie. We don't doubt you."
"Yeah," Caroline chimes in. "You'll be great at the whole parenting thing—and I heard that Sophie bombed Tanner's test, which means you're basically a shoe-in for valedictorian!"
I smile in spite myself. One thing I'll be glad to be rid of are the constant mood swings. "There is that."
Caroline shoves the gift bag into my hands. "You're not done!"
I carefully fold each piece of tissue paper and set it aside. I glance up at Care slyly and say, "you know half the reason I save the paper is to see the look on your face." It's also reusable, but tonight that's just an added bonus.
She replaces the antsy expression on her face with a neutral one.
They have also gifted me a set of pink onesies, a set of bottles, and a fluffy pink blanket. I place each of the items inside the diaper bag and hold my arms out to them. Our group hug lasts until Care decides that she can't go another minute without seeing Ryan Gosling.
"Thank you, guys. I really appreciate everything you have done for me."
"We kind of owed you one," Elena whispers. "We were happy to do it."
Caroline gives us a pointed look and we both shut up instantly. It's a cardinal sin in our friendship to prevent her from drooling over insert hot celebrity's name here.
Elena only lasts ten minutes before she gets up to bring us pizza. She returns a minute later, balancing three plates in her hands. I accept my slice and pick of the toppings that will inevitably give me an extreme case of heartburn and an upset stomach.
I nibble on my dinner slowly, enjoying the movie as best I can. Watching a movie for the seventh time kind of took the magic out of it, but my days as a normal teenager are almost gone so I take what I can get.
It's late the next morning when I wake up.
I roll over and stretch, shielding my eyes from the sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. Caroline is still sleeping, sparkly eye mask in place. Elena is standing at my mirror rubbing moisturizer on her face. She has a towel on her head and she appears refreshed. She must have gotten up hours earlier to get ready for the day.
"Morning, Elena." I rub the sleep from my eyes. "You're up early."
"I've only been up for an hour," she replies, shaking her hair from its turban. "Stefan and Damon said they'd be over in forty-five minutes."
"Why is Stefan coming?"
"He doesn't believe Damon knows how to use a screwdriver," Elena explains. "Because he tried so hard to get out of wood shop last year."
"That's because he hated Mr. James. And thought Miss Fell was hot." That's his reason for transferring to my creative writing class mid-way through the semester last school year at least.
"Sounds like him."
Caroline begins to stir. She stretches lazily.
"Hello, Sleeping Beauty," I duck as her arm swings forward. She narrowly misses smacking me in the face. I almost wish I had opted to sleep on the blow-up mattress on the floor. I had forgotten what a dangerous sleeper Care is.
"Hi!"
Elena fills Caroline in on today's schedule.
They both turn to me, hope shining in their eyes. "Can we go shopping with you guys, please?"
I look at them like they each have three heads. "Why would you want to?" Budget baby supply shopping doesn't even appeal to me. I can't imagine why they would be into it.
"We just want to spend time with you."
I sigh, "If you want to, sure. But you're going to have wait until he's done talking to my mother—and attempting to be masculine by putting the old crib together."
"Fine by me," Care says, retrieving her brush from her overnight bag. "I love a good comedy."
I feel torn. I'm beyond ecstatic that our friendship has basically returned to its pre-Salvatore era. However, I had been hoping to squeeze in some alone time with him after my parents left for work. Maybe later… I tell myself wistfully. I'll see him privately later.
The meeting with my mom lasted longer than I thought it would.
We are all sitting in the kitchen—Stefan included. I feel incredibly antsy. They are in my parents office, which is located in the basement. So, if for whatever reason, they are unable to go to their individual offices, they can still put maximum effort into their jobs. Of course, the location makes it impossible to hear the words being exchanged. It didn't bother me at first, but my father went downstairs exactly three minutes and forty seconds ago. That isn't promising.
I drum my fingers on the table, trying to not make eye contact with anyone. My mother had made pancakes for us this morning. Elena and Care are in heaven, each of them grabbed a stack and dug in. Elena smothers hers in another round of syrup and feeds Stefan a piece. I go over to the sink, filling a glass to the brim. I definitely overdid it with the pizza last night. My stomach is not feeling the best.
"Are you okay, Bonnie?" Stefan's voice breaks through my anxiety.
I've been hearing that question so much lately that I don't even hesitate to give an answer. "Yes. Thank you."
Before he can say anything else, my back stiffens. Three sets of footsteps are growing closer and closer. And then the door leading to the basement opens. I can feel my heart racing in my chest. Why do I feel like the star in a horror movie?
And then I turn around, bracing myself for another round of disappointment, but all I see are three shaky smiles.
I have to pinch myself. It isn't perfect, but it seems like things have gone okay. I'll take it. My father looks like his expression is far more forced than his cohorts. He frowns when he realizes I'm observing him.
"Can you three excuse us for a moment?"
"No problem, sir." Stefan says smoothly. He grabs Elena's hand, leading her into the living room. Caroline scurries behind them.
"I'm going to help you two." My father says this like I have tortured him for hours to get this result.
"We are going to co-sign for Damon," my mom clarifies.
"Why?" I am confused. I didn't think Dad would ever be on board with this option.
Damon's grin grows wider. "I made a very compelling proposal—actually, I just explained that I had enough to cover rent for the next ten months."
I plant my hands on my hips.
"He wrote a number on a piece of paper and handed it to us." Dad glares at my boyfriend.
"… Thank you, Dad."
"Don't mention it." And he looks as if he really means it.
"I didn't know you could write numbers that big," I tease, wrapping my arms around Damon's neck.
We are taking advantage of the few moments we have alone. Stefan volunteered to find all of the pieces of my old baby furniture in the garage and my two best friends returned to the kitchen to finish their breakfast. My parents both went in to work late. So, their shifts should end a good two hours later than usual.
"I told you, I'm a man of many talents."
"How'd your appointment go yesterday?"
"Really great . Spectacular, if I do say so myself. The pre-screening went amazingly well. I'll go back at some point to finish the enlistment process." Damon's ego has officially grown three sizes. I hadn't thought it could get any larger.
"That great, Damon! I'm so proud of you!" I kiss him on the cheek.
"I'm proud of me, too."
He kisses me back. I feel so blissful. So absolutely happy. I finally allow myself to relax—I even find myself thinking of our future. It looks bright. Damon and I and our daughter. Our life has calmed down, we have our own place, we've both established ourselves in our careers, I've graduated college and Damon has excelled in his MOS. Our baby—who is still unnamed in my head—is perfect. Beautiful and healthy.
"Everything is going to be perfect!" I say when we break apart.
Damon nods. "Except for this shopping trip. I can't believe you invited Malibu Barbie and Mr. and Mrs. Boring along."
"They gave me an offer I couldn't refuse," I do my best Godfather impression. And then: "They just said they wanted to be with me, who am I to say no?" I don't add that a selfish part of me is happy to not play second fiddle to two people who are always vying for the spotlight. I'm glad that I can truly consider what's best for me and not what will most benefit them.
Somehow, that doesn't feel right. It's almost like I'm expecting too much from everyone. I can't help the little bit of doubt that still lingers in the back of my mind. Never in my life have I been able to focus on myself—Elena and Caroline always required more of me and I was—and still am—happy to be the glue that kept them together. It seems crazy that there is now someone I will love more than anything else, someone that will always come before them.
I smile up at him. "Come on… let me show you the spreadsheet I made."
I drag a very unwilling Damon over to my computer, where Microsoft Excel is open, displaying a list of all the things we will need, their level of importance, and cost.
"Don't you think this is… a little overboard, Bon Bon?"
"You can never be too prepared."
So Bonnie and Damon are not out of the woods yet. The next chapter is a very important one and I can't wait to write it! Thank you for your kind reviews!
