Perhaps You Have Got Your Heart Back
- "Now that didn't go smoothly," Peri said dryly, searching Nyalee's corpse and grimacing in distaste. "Bah, nothing but a crappy quarterstaff. Can sell it for some coin, though."
- "Peri, this woman was a servant of Bhaal, but you shouldn't be so casual about slaying others," Keldorn answered.
- "Ach, donnae be a prig, Keldy," Korgan grunted. "The river o'blood we be spreading in our wake, one dirty hag more or less..."
- "Indeed. Keldorn, I do like you, but right now I don't need your lectures. I'm pretty damn pissed off as it is, and I don't remember you complaining about the food, lodging and equipment selling the loot has bought us," Peri said, straining not to snarl.
- "But..." Keldorn wanted to explain that results were not everything, that attitudes also shaped us and our future, but also sensed that it would be a losing fight. Forgive me, Torm. It is always a fine line for a paladin, the one between being a realist and getting results, and being an idealist and not straying.
- "Sarevok, what is it?" Imoen asked quietly. Sarevok hadn't commented on the discussion, just stood there, expressionless, eyes large.
- "Imoen... I don't know if you remember Tamoko."
- "I remember her," Imoen said. Her eyes were warm for the first time when looking at Sarevok.
- "The last thing she ever said to me... was that she didn't believe that I have a heart anymore," Sarevok said in a pained, strangled voice.
- "And now, Nyalee was all for killing Yaga-Shura, but when she got her heart back she attacked us to protect him," Imoen said, nodding in understanding.
- "Yes... it brought back the memory. Little sister, I know you don't care much for me, but I wish you would at least believe that I have no intention to harm you or Peri."
- "Perhaps you have got your heart back too, Sarevok. I don't feel the kind of connection with you Peri does, as my Bhaal blood is just a tiny stream... but I feel something. I feel emotions... I still don't trust you and I'm still so mad that you had to take Gorion from us..."
Sarevok's face tightened in pain when Imoen said that. What could he ever offer to either of them but his pain?
- "I... I don't enjoy that you are hurting. I know that you are, you know," Imoen spoke, her voice quiet, her face downcast. "I... ah! Just... you helped Peri today. I want to thank you for that but I still haven't forgiven you. But I don't enjoy your suffering either..." Imoen looked lost, confused, unable to make up her mind as to what she wanted to say.
- "That suffering is all I can give you," Sarevok quietly answered. "I can't bring Gorion back."
- "Just... take care of Peri. I'm scared... she is more and more gone. The closer the prophecy comes, the less I can reach her. But today you helped her... it means a lot."
Imoen ran away. She had felt an urge to comfort the pained Sarevok, but she felt like doing that would be spitting on Gorion's memory. While Peri loved Gorion just as much as she did, Peri had always been the more reserved one, the one who had trouble expressing her feelings. Imoen had made the old sage laugh with her pixie-like antics, hugging and kissing him whenever she happened to pass him. Peri was more of a withdrawn and sullen sort.
- "Imoen? May I have a word?" Anomen, his gray, honest eyes intent on her.
- "Sure, Ano." Imoen was puzzled. What did he want, now? She didn't know what to think about Anomen. A part of her liked the man, a part of her pitied him. On the other hand he also was insufferably pompous, intolerant and irritable. Imoen had been delighted when he and Peri had become an item, but that was mostly because Anomen was cute, an aspiring knight, and any romantic relationship with her sister would have pleased her. How naive and frivolous she had been.
- "What is this all about with Sarevok? You know... I still love Peri. I wish I might be able to win her heart back once she is over the confusion Sarevok and his joining the party has caused. It all started when the... fiend came along! He is stirring up all that dark, divine blood she is fighting so hard to resist!" Anomen said in anger.
- "Anomen. It started before that. Sarevok is certainly affecting her profoundly, but are you sure you are not just making it a suitable excuse?" Imoen tried to sound neutral and adult, but Anomen's eyes still darkened in anger.
- "You are too close to her to see! Of course she will say that! She doesn't want to see what that demon-spawn is doing to her! Oh, I'm sure he can dress it up in pretty words and acts of understanding... she always felt I don't understand her. But that call of murder is not something to be understood! I didn't condemn her, I still don't. She didn't choose to be born with that. But she should fight it, seek to purge herself of it. It is not a part of her, it is an alien presence! As a priest, I always would have helped her with that... but she wanted me to somehow be able to empathize with how it feels. No, that can not be. It is the way into succumbing to the taint. And Sarevok, I am sure, is just another step in that downward spiral." Anomen looked so angry, so grim, so bitter.
- "Ano, you are starting to scare me," Imoen said, not unkindly. "She doesn't wish the taint upon her any more than you do. But she wants you to understand that it IS a part of her as a person, her history. You never were there when she was but a small child and woke up, telling me how she would love to murder someone who deserved to die... how her blood was soaring in her veins when she imagined cutting a throat and feeling the warm blood gushing on her hands."
Anomen looked grave and pale.
- "She... never told me," he said.
- "She wouldn't have," Imoen answered. "Sarevok knows how it is. Doesn't mean either of them likes it. I don't know..."
Imoen realized she was defending Sarevok and felt claustrophobic.
- "I... am tired of this discussion. See you, Ano."
