CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

(BPOV)

I had seen death and I had seen tragedy, but in all my experience as an ER trauma nurse and after all I'd witnessed both on and off the job, nothing compared to the sight of the soul ripping heartache that flickered across Jacobs face when everyone in the room stood for the final prayer of the service. I balanced a sleeping Clarissa carefully in my arms and held her close, as I bowed my head with everyone else who listened to the funeral director offer up the final departing words for Lillian and all those who had gathered here to pay their respects.

There was a resounding silence that fell over the room then, a hush that held such reverence in the quiet of that brief moment and when I opened my eyes, Jacob's haunted and foreboding gaze locked with my own. The desperate plea I read in his look shook me down to my core as I held his anguished stare. He pulled harshly at his collar and mouthed a "Thank you", to me before his eyes went to Billy.

He was barely hanging on by a thread. His hands trembled at his sides and I saw him ball them into tight fists, his body rigid in form and reminding me of a coiled spring that was ready to be released at any second. He couldn't do this much longer and my heart ached for him. The pain reflected in his dark gaze felt crippling and when I saw him visibly wince, I knew he was quickly losing his hold on any control he had left.

The wolf was eager to be set free after nearly four years of laying idle and dormant and I inwardly cringed when I thought of how damn painful that first shift back could be for him.

The pack surrounded Jacob as they all gathered around Lillians cherry wood casket and took their places to carry her out. Their expressions all mirroring the sincere respect they had for her and the comfort and support they wanted to show for Jacob right now.

I felt Emily's hand take mine as she reached across Charlie and met my tearful gaze. I leaned in closer to them, all of us huddled there as the crowd all rose to their feet and looked ahead. I shuddered when Jacob took his place in front of Sam, his hand gliding across the very top of Lillian's casket, as he leaned down and whispered something to inaudible for us to hear, but I saw the tears that welled in Sam's brotherly gaze in response and I knew he'd heard Jacobs words to her. Every member of the pack stood on either side of her casket, their strong hands reaching down and taking hold of the gold handles that framed the rich wood as they slowly raised her up together. They stilled there in the center of the aisle and my gaze fell on a sobbing Leah who stood at the back of the line with her brother Seth to usher Lillian out with the rest of them. I watched her pretty face fill with immeasurable grief when she took hold of Seth's arm and began to weep harder. Seth's face fell and he reached for her, wrapping his arm tightly around her shaking shoulders and drawing his sister in close to him. Out of the pack, Seth was the one who had grown and changed the most in his physical appearance but that sweet and caring nature he'd always carried with him as a teen hadn't changed a bit. He still had one of the biggest hearts next to Jacobs that I knew. He did well to keep his emotions in check while he comforted Leah but when Jacob struggled to take that first step forward, I saw his tight resolve slip and a lone tear run down his cheek.

Billy and Charlie exchanged a sorrowful and worried glance as Jacob stood there frozen, his chest heaving and his arms trembling with the tormented restraint he was fighting like hell to keep in this moment. He was surrounded by those who cared for him the most, by those who loved him, but when he finally raised his head and moved forward, he looked as lost and alone as I'd ever seen him.

Charlie moved out around me, placing himself next to Billy now at the end of the aisle when Jacob hesitated to take another step, his whole body seeming locked right there where he stood as he faltered in the progression.

The weight of this was too heavy.

I saw Billy lean forward, looking so frustrated with his confined state in the wheelchair because he wanted to help his son. Charlie patted Billy on the back and nodded his way before silently stepping out into the aisle and placing a supportive hand on Jacobs shoulder. The pack patiently waited while Charlie offered his only encouragement to him.

"Come on, Son. We got this. One step at a time."

With those hoarsely spoken words, I looked on with immense heartfelt pride as my dad stood right next to Jacob when he found his legs again to keep going, each step more sturdy than the last.

They all carried her out of the funeral home then with such grace and unified formation that it looked as if they had practiced it dozens of times prior but I knew they hadn't. It was the most heartbreaking and yet somehow the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The demonstration of love and support made it nearly impossible to look away until they were well out of sight. When the heavy doors soon closed behind them, the many people began to depart and talk quietly among themselves, but all I could hear was the weeping that came from Martha when she hugged Lillian's sisters and brother tightly to her.

"That was beautiful." Emily softly stated beside me as she handed over a tissue. "Lillian wouldn't have wanted this service to go any other way. What Shawn said earlier is true."

"Yes, it was." I breathed in agreement, seeing Mr. Dawson look our way before he crossed the aisle and opened his tired arms to us.

"Emily, oh sweet Emily. Lillian just loved you. She said you were more like a sister to her than just a friend." Shawn admitted, wrapping us in a hug and placing a kiss to Clarissa's head.

"I thought of her the very same way. I'm going to miss her so much." Emily cried into his shoulder.

Within minutes, the many friends and family that had come to honor Lilly's life wandered out of the funeral home in groups of which they came and I lingered in the pew with Clarissa, the tracks of my tears still wet as I glanced toward the dozens of chrysanthemums ahead of me.

I listened while the last few people remaining in the funeral home headed for the bitter cold of the snowy outdoors. The stillness in the now vacant room making me look down at Clarissa's precious face while she peacefully slept.

I wasn't alone for long as Mr. Dawson came back inside and joined me in the pew, his saddened blue eyes looking my way with expectancy clear in them.

"What you said was beautiful today, Mr. Dawson." I softly complimented when he caressed Clarissa's cheek.

"Thank you, dear. We wanted to be sure everyone knew that our Lillian was treasured to us."

He reached his hand up and wiped away my tears with the backs of his fingers, the kind gesture making me feel as if I myself was a mere child again.

"How is Martha doing?"

"She's very warn out from it all and her heart hurts from our Lillians absence, but with time and prayer, we'll keep on going. We know we'll see her again someday." He warmly replied.

"God Bless you, Mr. Dawson."

"...and God Bless you, Bella. Now it's your turn to live your best life. Don't run from it and don't squander it away. Can you promise me to do whatever it is that makes you truly happy while you still can?"

"Yes, Mr. Dawson. I surely can promise you that." I obliged.

" Thank you, dear. Means more to me than you know. Care to accompany an old man such as myself out to his car and show me where this Reservation is Martha and I have heard so much about?"

I nodded as we stood and he ushered us outside where everyone else was waiting.

A/N: Thank you for reading and feel free to review. Please look for another update before the evening is done :-)