A/N: I realize that as the story evolved, so did Harvey and Donna, becoming different versions from the ones we know. As this is the last chapter, I do hope I did the characters justice. To those of you still reading, I love you!

Warning: M-rated content


22. Shelter

"I need to change first," Harvey said, unlocking the door and picking up his pace. They had just driven in from Connecticut and with traffic into town being heavier than expected, he was running late. Donna strolled behind him out of the elevator, past the familiar entrance and into the place she had once called home.

The morning light was spilling through the glass windows, barely illuminating his condo. The clouds were gray, the winter weather shrouding the city, and although it was close to 9 am, Donna turned on the lights in the kitchen.

The air was cool inside, matching how she felt as she took in her surroundings, and one thing was perfectly clear. Time had stood still.

Harvey's place was unchanged. The neat, rather empty apartment still held the leather sofa and chairs with the record player by the fireplace; his records lining the wall behind his home office space. Even the pictures on the wall were unchanged.

Everything was the same, except for one large difference. There was no trace of her things. The drawer cabinet, the side table, the two paintings she had brought over, the little decorative items she had gotten them, like candelabras, throw pillows, lamps. All gone. Just like the cactus she had given him all those years ago was nowhere to be found.

There was a profound loneliness to her absence within these walls, like a giant piece of a puzzle missing, erased, as if it had never been. Yet, here she was, once again, although the puzzle remained incomplete.

A weight settled in her chest, making it hard to breathe as a lump formed in her throat.

She fought it with all her might. No matter how painful it was to see how Harvey had obliterated her from his life, she had been the one to leave. Still, to be confronted with the effects of her choices was tough, and she needed to busy herself with something. Anything.

The coffeemaker sitting on the counter was one she had operated many a morning, and Donna was sure she would find everything required to make a brew in exactly the same spot, too.

.

Quickly discarding his clothes as he walked into his bedroom, Harvey rummaged through his wardrobe. He was going into the office today and although he had brought two suits with him to Santa Monica, he had packed light coming back here, knowing there would be plenty to take with him going west again. Besides, the suit he had in mind to wear for giving his formal notice was still hanging in his closet.

Giving his notice. The choice had been easy enough to make in the bubble of Seattle, where he had made love to Donna for the first time in years, sealing their romance by fusing their bodies in a physical promise to reinforce their vocal one. They loved each other and wanted to be together. And somehow the idea he was about to move across the country permanently hadn't seemed real until now.

Two-and-a-half weeks ago, he'd left New York on a hail Mary pass, hoping to work things out with Donna, maybe win her back. Never once had he stopped to think beyond that blindingly ambitious aim. And now he had accepted a job in LA and was moving in with her.

Things were changing and fast. For someone who wasn't all that great with change, he was coping acceptably, but he'd be lying if he said leaving was easy.

Looking at himself in the mirror, trying to get his tie right, a million thoughts raced through his mind. There was still so much to take care of. The realtor would meet him tomorrow afternoon, because he and Donna had agreed he would sell his condo. Although it had been his idea, he struggled to come to terms with selling the only place he'd ever called home after moving out of his parent's house. The one-bedroom had been the first big purchase as soon as he had started earning well at Pearson Hardman. His home had been the backbone of his entire life, the only place he felt safe, no matter what, regardless of the memories. And soon someone else would occupy it, filling it with their own memories.

The thought alone was nauseating.

Doing up the buttons of his vest, Harvey heaved a sigh. There was only one thing pushing this decision forward. Donna was worth it.

.

Leaning on the counter, sipping on the coffee she had just made, Donna watched Harvey walk towards her from his bedroom, the black, three-piece suit fit around his frame perfectly, his broad shoulders looking even broader as his still open jacket danced in the air. His muscular frame had likely been the reason he'd needed a wardrobe upgrade, and she realized she hadn't seen him wear a suit like this in over two years.

He looked sexy as hell as he strode forward, and she couldn't stop staring. The outfit, his hair, the gait. All of him demanded her attention and she forgot where she was for a moment.

There was something wonderfully familiar about having Donna make him coffee. In his home. Like she used to. A thought niggled at the edge of Harvey's mind, but he didn't pay it any attention. Instead, he leaned back against the island, opposite her. "What are you smirking about?" he prodded, bringing the steaming mug she had left out for him to his lips.

Donna scanned his entire physique, not hiding how much she was appreciating the sight before her. "Not that your ego needs any more boosting, but you look really goddamn good in that suit, Mr. Specter." She hid her amused expression behind her drink, taking a sip while peering over the edge to see his reaction.

With a most devilish grin on his face, his eyes lit up. "I'm glad you like it. Now. Stop ogling me, because I have to get going."

The idea she would soon be alone in this place coupled with the domesticity of the moment was crushing and Donna felt the need to ground herself; to remember why she was here to begin with. They were flying back to California in a few days. Forever.

Harvey put the cup down, but before he had a chance to close his suit jacket, Donna pushed herself forward and her arms snaked around his waist as she nuzzled his neck, squeezing him tightly, anchoring herself to him while she kept telling herself she would be okay without him.

Surprised by her move, he let her hug him for as long as she wanted to, because he honestly needed to feel her just as close.

It felt so good to be home, especially after the last couple of days. As if on cue, that nagging thought returned, and this time Harvey dared to face it. If Donna was back in NYC, why couldn't they just pick up where they'd left off? And stay?

His fingers tangled in her hair, keeping her close until she withdrew and looked up at him. He watched her straighten his tie, her body still flush against his, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Do you have any idea how much it means to me to have you home?"

Donna stared into his soft eyes, her fingers smoothing his collar. "Probably about as much as it means to have you in Santa Monica with me."

His gaze withered and his body hardened. Was that regret flickering across his face? Before she could analyze the change in his demeanor, Harvey kissed her languidly, digging his fingers into her waist, until they both ran out of breath.

She was worth it. He repeated the mantra, hoping she hadn't picked up on his hesitation. "There's a spare set of keys in the top drawer. I'll let you know about lunch, okay?"

"Okay. Good luck."

With one final kiss, Harvey grabbed his coat and headed out. For a single moment, the notion she might not be here when he got back shot a jolt of panic through his entire nervous system. He shrugged the sensation off as soon as it hit, refusing to let his fears get the better of him.

Donna listened to the door closing and suddenly the place was blanketed in an eerie silence, with too many ghosts from the past coming at her from every little corner the condo possessed.

She grabbed her purse and left.


With no real purpose, Donna spent the morning wandering around downtown Manhattan, gravitating to all the familiar spots. Breakfast at Nougatine's was lovely, even though the experience lacked the usual satisfaction. Maybe no longer living in the city meant all its mundane charms were lost as well. And breakfast at Nougatine's was just, well, breakfast.

Afterwards, she roamed the streets, soaking up the sounds and smells that were so distinctly New York City.

Walking around the Upper East Side, Donna was glad to be back in known territory when it came to shopping. Rodeo Drive wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and she took her time strolling down 3rd Street and slowly made her way south.

When she passed BHLDN, the bridal shop she had visited years before, first with Rachel and then for herself, she stopped and glanced at the mannequin in the window. The possibility that perhaps she might still be a bride one day, be his bride, hit her so hard, she gasped for air. Surely, it was way too soon to think about any of that, but the prospect was enough to make her stop and stare. And dream of an ocean-side ceremony, just before sunset. In late August.

She caught her reflection in the mirror, smiling at herself.

The morning passed by quickly. To her dismay, Harvey cancelled on lunch last minute. His boss was making sure to put him to good use while he was in town, leaving her to entertain herself until dinner. In search of a place for a quick bite, she rounded the corner and without realizing stared at the entrance of 601 Lexington Avenue. The old office building.

Donna froze.

Whatever had drawn her to this spot was a mystery, but here she was, getting vertigo from staring up at the tall structure. Her pulse increased as too many memories came rushing back with a force so powerful, she placed a hand over her heart to calm it down. She had no intention of going in. There was nothing for her there, anyway. A different company now occupied the three floors that once housed one of the most powerful firms in the city. The glass lobby revealed people milling about, carrying on with their day, just like she had done in the exact same place for nearly fifteen years.

Watching from afar made her feel like a ghost haunting the past. Her past. Because all that remained were nameless places, now inhabited by new characters, making their own memories, unaware of what had come before, like it never happened. Like she never existed. Just like his condo.

And what a sad notion that was.

As a gloom befell her, Donna permitted herself to mourn the life she had abandoned for the first time in two years.

.

An hour later, with a hotdog in hand, she took a seat at a bench in Central Park and watched the familiar scene in front of her. The Wollman Rink was busy today. The schools were still out, and the ice was crawling with people of all ages.

Ice skating was not something common in California, and she hoped she and Harvey could come back and skate together this weekend, like they used to.

Once she finished her sandwich, Donna pulled out her phone and dialed Rachel's number, who answered after only two rings.

"Tell me! How does it feel being back there?" Rachel squealed quietly as she tucked the phone between her shoulder and cheek.

"It's so weird, Rachel. It's like no time has passed at all." And yet everything was different.

"I'll bet. What have you done so far?" Rachel repositioned Bobbi as she breastfed the one-week-old.

"Not much. Just some shopping. Had breakfast at Nougatine's. I even walked by the old offices."

"It all feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?" She stared at the baby in her arms and reflected on how much her own life had changed since she and Mike had left New York.

"It sure does."

Donna fell silent, lost in too many thoughts.

Distracted by Bobbi, Rachel didn't notice the line had gone quiet. But when the silence stretched on, Rachel's alarm bells went off. "Hey. You okay?"

"I am. I just can't wait to get back." She waited. "But I am not sure Harvey is."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. Something he said this morning. I think he's secretly hoping I'll change my mind and stay here. And I'm wondering if it's fair of me to ask him to leave."

"But you didn't. He accepted Mike's job offer."

"He only did that because I told him I didn't want to move back."

"Donna. You gotta give him some credit. Harvey is not exactly the type of guy who makes life-altering choices to please someone else."

Clearly Rachel had no idea what lengths Harvey would go to when that 'someone else' was Donna. But perhaps he did deserve more credit. "Yeah, I guess you have a point."

"And he gave Mike his word. He's not going to change his mind now."

"No, he won't. I just hope he'll be happy there." Because what if he discovered he didn't like California? The mere thought sent a rush of anxiety through her. With a deep breath and a shake of her head, she willed the feeling away.

"Donna. He's happy if you're there. I saw you two together. I saw you two apart. And trust me, if ever two people were meant to be together, it's you. And if California is not for him, you can always come to Seattle. Billy has been asking about when Uncle Harvey is coming back to visit. I think you may have been ousted as favorite," Rachel chuckled.

A smile appeared on Donna's lips. "Thanks, Rach. I needed to hear that. Not the being ousted part, though. I've been replaced that fast?"

Donna laughed as the conversation moved to Rachel, but the uneasiness lingered.


One Sunday afternoon in early July, Harvey and Donna were strolling around Central Park, before descending on a bench overlooking The Lake, their favorite spot.

They had been together for over a year. From the beginning, life had thrown so many curveballs their way that nowadays even Harvey felt like striking out most of the time. Unfortunately, with Jim Paulsen's health declining, they were nowhere near out of the woods. But this week had brought some small victories. Harvey had signed two major clients, giving Specter Williams some room to breathe for the coming months. He also hadn't had a panic attack in ten days—a new record—and now that Specter Williams was stabilizing, Harvey was hopeful to be rid of them for the moment. Donna had caught him in the middle of having one a few weeks earlier and he had been able to convince her it was a solitary incident, nothing to worry about. He was sure she didn't suspect anything, her mind increasingly preoccupied with other matters.

The weekend before, they had gone to Seattle to meet baby Billy. Seeing the little bundle of joy plus visiting Mike and Rachel had been such a welcome distraction from all the goings-on in his life. And this moment, right here, made life worth living; when the world didn't seem to exist and all that was left was them.

As Donna chatted about her week at Burton & Howe, he watched her laugh at a joke he must have missed, too lost in the way her stunning auburn locks framed her face in the summer's afternoon sun. He moved a little closer to her, her short summer dress exposing a whole lot of leg he was itching to touch, so he brushed a finger against her knee.

Donna just smiled at him, light shining in her eyes as she continued with her story, even though he could tell she was distracted by his charged caress.

When she finished talking, she leaned into him to prompt a response.

Lost in her beauty, he heard himself ask, "Will you marry me?"

Shock flashed across her face and Donna jerked back. With her eyebrows drawn in confusion, she scrutinized him and his intentions. "What now?"

Covering her hand with both of his, he secured himself to her. "Listen, I know there is a lot going on right now. And as much as I wish things were different, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He sported a vulnerable smile as he reached in his pocket to retrieve a small, blue velvet box.

The moment her eyes landed on the concealing object, they grew twice in size, her mouth slightly agape. Apparently this wasn't as unplanned as she had initially thought, and the shock coursing through her nervous system amplified tenfold.

With the hint of a tremor in his fingers, Harvey opened the lid to reveal a perfect diamond ring. "I have been meaning to propose to you for a while, but the timing was never right. But perhaps the 'right time' doesn't exist. So, I'm asking you now." With a nervous smile, he got on one knee and held her hand in his. "Donna Roberta Paulsen, will you marry me?"

Too stunned to cry, her entire body hummed as the world around them faded into the background. Her heart swelled. This moment carried everything she had always hoped for. For years, it was everything she had known could happen someday. If only he would see her.

And now he finally had.

Nodding vigorously, she stammered, "Yes, Harvey. I'll marry you." She reached forward to meet his lips in an unsparing kiss; their mouths colliding to enforce her answer. When she pulled back, she noticed his unsteady hand as he took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger delicately, sealing their promise to be together forever.

He got to his feet and didn't hesitate to wrap her in his arms, beaming at the woman he was so madly in love with. He kissed her fiercely, losing his hand in her hair and pulling her waist to clash against his own, because suddenly 'as close as possible' wasn't close enough.

Despite all the hurdles they faced, they would have each other.


Because he'd had to skip lunch, Harvey had proposed Donna meet him at the office so they could have an early dinner at Carbone. Once there, he introduced her to John McCarthy, the managing partner at the firm. Cordial as he tried to be, the bastard had the audacity to unsuccessfully make light of the fact he blamed her for the reason one of his top lawyers was leaving and Harvey had to stop himself for doing something he would regret. Luckily for him, he caught sight of Donna's face and saw pride exude her as she smugly took the jab, knowing that he had chosen her over his job, which was a first; a notion he was convinced she cherished.

An hour later, Harvey shoved a spoonful of pasta in his mouth. After the day he'd had, starving was an understatement to describe his physical state by the time they made it to the restaurant. McCarthy had dragged him from one meeting to the next, forcing him to have to cancel lunch with Donna altogether, which only added to his displeasure. It seemed there was an ever-growing to-do list and there wasn't a minute to tick off even the simplest of items, resulting in an edgy and restless buzz in his bones.

The coming days were filled to the brim, but he was mostly looking forward to going to the gym in the morning to workout some of the tension that had settled in his body since Boston. All his cases were already in the process of being handed over to three of the partners and he would spend his last day making sure he didn't leave any loose ends.

The weekend would be spent packing. The whole move still seemed far off, intangible, so he put it out of his mind until he had to deal with it. Nevertheless, there were some ideas floating around his brain regarding the upcoming change in scenery.

Seated in a booth in the back, the place was quiet for a Thursday night.

Harvey wiped his mouth with the soft cotton of the napkin laying in his lap and took a sip of his wine. "What did you think of the dining room set? My mom picked it out. I kinda like it and I was thinking that if you liked it too, we could maybe bring it to Santa Monica."

Fuck.

Donna chewed on her salad, trying hard to remember any details but coming up empty. "Honestly, I hadn't noticed it." Apparently, the one thing that had been different in his place was the one thing she hadn't paid any attention to.

"Really? You with the eye for detail?" He looked at her skeptically.

Keeping it light, she picked at her half-full plate and replied, "I left about two minutes after you did. I only went back to drop off my shopping bags and the taxi driver was waiting downstairs, so all my stuff is still in the hallway." She took a swig of her wine. Maybe upon hearing her explanation Harvey would change the subject. But the silence spread, and she felt the burn of his scrutiny.

"Any reason you didn't go back?" He put his glass down and sat forward. His instincts roared as he watched her act casual. 'Act' being the operative word. Donna had cautioned him regarding her feelings about New York, and he may have underestimated the sentiment.

She lifted one shoulder in a careless shrug, hoping, praying he wouldn't push it. "Not really… It just felt weird being there without you."

The tightness in her expression ultimately gave her away and she may be a wonderful actress on stage, but she was doing a shitty job here tonight. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. I just rather have you with me, that's all." In Santa Monica. ASAP.

The smile she gave him lacked assurance, and he inquired further. "Why are you having such a hard time being here?"

She stopped poking her food.

"I'm not," she mumbled to her salad.

The hell she wasn't. He shook his head in disbelief. "Donna." Briefly, her gaze met his and Harvey found resolution in her eyes. She was obviously lying, and he hated it. A surge of anger coupled with frustration moved under the surface of his skin, threatening to burst free unless he willed the emotions away. Here he was, spending his last few days in the town he had called home for so long, struggling with his own feelings, and she was once again shielding herself from him.

Of all nights, tonight was not the night he could deal with her shutting down. He needed her, dammit, yet her behavior transported him back in time; back to their former selves, caught in patterns they should have broken years ago, but apparently hadn't. Even the newfound love of the past few weeks had done nothing to fix what was damaged between them, which terrified him more than anything. "You can't shut me out like this. Not again." Fear muffled his words and he dropped his gaze, afraid of what he might find if he didn't.

"You wanna know why I'm having a hard time? Because all I see when I see that elevator is you standing in the doorway, letting me go. That's why." She raised her voice in defense, on impulse, keeping him at bay by deflecting.

Donna might as well have slapped him in the face. "Funny. Because all I've been seeing for the past two goddamn years is you walking out!" He threw his fork on his plate, the sound of metal on porcelain echoing loudly in the silence between them. Not knowing what the future held was unnerving enough, and right now the past was aiming a gun at his head, ready to pull the trigger.

She clenched her jaw, trying to keep from crying, her appetite having left her with the last words she'd spoken.

Facing her demons with Harvey had been a lot easier back in California where everything was new, and they could reinvent themselves. But here in Manhattan, where their story had come into existence nearly two decades ago, things were paralyzing at best; like there was an invisible fist clenching her throat and squeezing, keeping her from saying what needed to be said. After all they went through these past few weeks, being open about her feelings had been less of a feat, yet somehow breathing that New York air again made her forget how far she'd come.

"I'm scared, Harvey," she managed to whisper.

Her comment took the sting out of his anger as he measured her staring at her folded hands in her lap. "What's going on, Donna? What are you afraid of?"

"It's just… Being back here…" she stammered, searching for the right words. "It's brought back a lot of memories. Memories I've tucked away for too long, because I was afraid to remember them. It was hard enough to leave. I forced myself to not look back. And now… I hate myself for what I did to you. To us. And I'm trying to keep it together the best way I know how, but I've had this pit in my stomach all day…"

"And your way of coping is shutting me out? We've tried that before, remember."

She could tell he was hurt by the way he resigned his posture, sinking into himself, defeated. She'd seen it too many times before; the mighty Harvey Specter forfeiting the battle, because he knows he can't win unless she's there with him.

It was time to face the music.

Closing her eyes, Donna took a steadying breath for every time she had been called out on not being honest about her feelings. Mark, Mitchell, Thomas, they had all done it. Harvey had tried. Jeremy hadn't even noticed she'd had one foot out the door from the beginning. It was second nature to her, and something she wanted to unlearn more than anything, although she was well aware she could never achieve that on her own. If she wanted a real shot at a future with him and leave the past behind, she needed him to know the truth; the truth she was finally able to face herself; the truth he should hear. "When I was eight, I was playing this piece for my mom on the piano. It was her favorite and she'd cry every time I would play it. One day, my dad walked in and he saw my mom crying. He didn't comfort her. He just scoffed and said, 'You're always so damn emotional, Clara.' There was no empathy, no compassion. He just dismissed her feelings. That was the first time I heard him say that, as far as I can recall. After that, I noticed it happening again and again. And Mom would put up a brave face and pretend it didn't hurt. That she was okay."

"Sounds like somebody I know."

The energy shifted between them as their eyes met, and Donna gave him a rueful smile.

"My dad left us three times when I was still living at home. He'd be gone for weeks on end, leaving my mom in a panic. We weren't sure if he would come back. One of those times, I heard him say something similar right before he shut the door behind him." Donna fidgeted with her napkin, the words finding her easily. Far more easily than she had expected. "What I'm trying to say is, the lesson my young brain took from those incidents was that you can't show your true emotions. Especially with men, because they'll leave. And I don't want you to leave."

Without hesitation, Harvey got up and moved to her side until he sat right beside her, legs touching. His brain scrambled frantically as pieces of an intricate puzzle named Donna Paulsen fell into place. "Donna." He took her hand in his, reinforcing his presence. The proximity allowed him to see that her lashes were now wet and his heart shattered. "I won't leave." How could she even think he was anything like Jim goddamn Paulsen?

"I know. But that's still something I struggle with. It's what broke my parents up. And my dad redeemed himself in the end. He started going to therapy and realized that allowing himself to feel a range of emotions was far better than dismissing them, but even as an adult it's hard to be what you haven't seen. And I am still teaching myself how not to be my mom. I guess we're all just products of our environment." She gave him a half-smile, feeling self-conscious and exposed, but confident he knew what she meant.

"I guess so," he replied mournfully, unaware he and Jim had had more in common than he'd realized before. He also started to get the idea there wasn't much he could do or say to convince her he was not like her dad. And he could either take offence at that or trust her to get over it in her own time. "But Donna, I'm not gonna leave you for being scared or nervous. But I will get mad if you don't tell me the truth. And if there's anything I've learned in therapy, it's that you can't have sunshine without some rain. And if being in town is hard for you, I want you to tell me about it."

Donna felt the love in his demand as the chains around her soul loosened, making it impossible to form any coherent reply. So, she nodded her head.

Her hand was small in his when he reassuringly caressed the back with his thumb. "How come you never told me this before?"

"When we first got together, I knew where my insecurities stemmed from and I was convinced I had them under control. After my parents reconciled, I would have these long conversations with my dad and they gave me a lot of insight. And it brought him and I closer, too. But then things started spiraling with us, and I just acted the only way I knew how. Which meant shutting down my feelings altogether. And in response, you shut down, too."

"I know. You once said… you found it hard to love me."

"No, what I said was that you made it hard to love you. Slight difference."

"Still." He didn't meet her eyes and his voice was soft, hardly audible. "Has that changed?"

"It was true at the time." Donna felt his grip slip from hers as she explained, his own insecurities never far away. So, with the back of her fingers, she grazed his cheek, focusing his attention on her. The small gesture had the desired effect when their eyes met. "But loving you now has been the easiest thing I've done. I have fallen in love with you all over again and I didn't even know that was possible."

He pulled back with a surprised look on his face. "Really? I thought that was just me."

"I guess not." She released a captive breath. "Harvey. I took the coward's way out last time. I left because it was easier than dealing with what was really going on. I don't want that to happen again."

"Neither do I." He wouldn't survive.

"Promise me you'll call me out on my bullshit."

Her big eyes blinked up at him, the vulnerability in them achingly visible, and he was sure he had never loved her more than in this moment. "You want me to be your Donna?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

The optimistic smile she wore made his ears ring, and he lowered his head to press his lips to hers. "I can do that."

Donna answered the kiss eagerly, feeling all the built-up emotion drain from her body by breathing him in. When she pulled back, she searched his eyes. "Now that I've bared my soul, are you gonna tell me about the second thoughts you're having?"

"I'm not—"

"Harvey. It's okay. I want you to have them." She watched his brows dip in a barely noticeable frown. "This is no small decision. It's only natural that you are rethinking the whole thing, especially now that you're home again. I only want you in Santa Monica if you're one-hundred percent sure that's where you want to be."

The sudden turn in subject caught him off guard and he found himself scrambling to articulate a reply, not having had a moment to think about whatever it was he felt about the situation. "You're right. This morning, when you made me coffee, part of me wanted to go back to how things were before. But I know 'before' no longer exists. It's time for a change and so far, California has worked out pretty damn well, if you ask me." As he heard himself speak, Harvey felt his heart align with the words leaving his lips. Not only was Donna worth the trouble, he owed himself a chance at happiness.

Covering her mouth with his lips, he let himself drown in her response.

Donna witnessed a rigidity untangle in his features. His eyes shone a little brighter and as he kissed her in the crowded restaurant, her appetite slowly returned. For him. "What do you say we get out of here and make some happy memories to take with us?"


That night, Donna lay staring at the ceiling. Harvey had fallen asleep about thirty minutes ago, spent and sated from making love to her for hours. But in the dead of night, the rousing sounds of the city that never sleeps, however familiar, sparked something in her, unlike the soothing sounds of the ocean she had grown accustomed to.

Not wanting to wake Harvey with her tossing and turning, she got up and quietly left the bedroom.

For a few minutes, she stalked around his condo. Like she had done in the days leading up to her leaving him for good, or so she'd thought. Everything was so different now. They were different. And maybe this trip was the perfect full-circle moment to let the past be in the past and to only look forward from now on.

She stopped at the dining room set, lit by the lights peeking in from the city around her. Soaking in every detail, she could see why Lily had picked it for her son. The table and chairs were elegant, yet modern, and she concluded that not only did she love it, but it would also fit her kitchen perfectly. And knowing Harvey would have a tangible reminder of his mom was just an added benefit.

Silently, she drifted back to the bedroom where she hovered near the foot of the bed, looking at Harvey's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful, at ease in his own home—the beloved home he would be sacrificing for her. It didn't feel right. He was already giving up so much.

When she climbed back in bed, Harvey still fast asleep, she left a kiss on his bare shoulder and whispered a soft I love you. When she turned the other way, his unconscious body followed her lead, and one heavy arm draped over her, pulling her close without ever waking.


The next morning, Harvey zipped up his hoodie. It was 6.30 am and he was ready to hit the gym. His bag was already packed and by the door when he remembered to take the shampoo from his bathroom. He almost made it out of the bedroom, when a soft 'good morning' beckoned him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," he whispered, for no good reason. "Go back to sleep."

Donna rolled over on one side, crossing her legs and feeling the familiar strain in her center from a night of vigorous lovemaking. She wiped the sleep from her eyes. "Can't. I'm up." Her half-awoken mind scanned him and his outfit; the hoodie, the gray sweatpants, the trainers. "You going boxing?"

Seeing Donna like this, under his sheets, hair tousled, no make-up on, was his favorite way to start the day. Without thinking, he marched towards her, drawn to her like a magnet, and crawled over the bed until his lips touched hers and he stretched out beside her on top of the covers. "I am," he replied, even though the chances of him leaving the house at all were decreasing at a rapid rate, because her fingers combed through his hair, seducing him effortlessly and unintentionally.

They'd had sex twice last night; fast and hard the minute they'd made it through the door, followed by a slow and sensual session that had resulted in him falling asleep gratified and happy. Still, he would go again if she'd let him.

Tucking a rogue strand of hair behind her ear, he asked, "Did you sleep okay?"

"I did," she lied. "Listen, I was thinking. What if you hung onto this place for a little while longer? I mean, you can always sell it later, but I think it will be good to keep for now."

Of all the ways this day could start, her comment was the last thing he'd expected. "Are you sure?"

"It's what you want, isn't it?"

"Well…" Was he really going to deny it?

"It's okay, Harvey. I don't want you to have to give up everything. And I know how much this place means to you." Donna watched his eyes grow wider before he kissed her long and deep.

"You mean more," he croaked eventually, searching her face for any trace of hesitation.

"I know." She wasn't sure of much, but this she'd bet her life on.

Harvey pulled the duvet away and covered her body with his own, brushing his nose against hers. "You're amazing," he rasped, grinding his hips against her pelvis in a grateful gesture.

Now it was her turn to hum as his lips trailed her jaw line down to her neck where he lingered.

"I was thinking I could start packing for you today, if that's okay with you."

"That's fine," he mumbled against her skin, too busy savoring the delight he felt gushing through him. An exploring hand roamed down the silk over her nightgown, over the soft swell of her breast, gently kneading to the rhythm of her breathing. As if on cue, her nipples hardened under his touch as her nails dug into his scalp, coaxing him on. The low moans she released in his ear boosted his burgeoning erection until the throb became painful and he slipped a palm between her legs to find her naked, wet and ready for him. He didn't even bother taking off his own clothes, because Donna helped him push down his sweats just enough to release his aching arousal.

She smiled at his urgency. "You don't need much, do you?"

In one move, he sank himself into her tight, welcoming walls and she arched off the mattress, thrilled by the magnificent intrusion of her already sensitive core.

Once buried deep, he pushed himself up on one arm, hovering over her, staring her down. "With you, never." He lowered his mouth over hers, capturing her moans as he picked up the pace. With her legs wrapped around his waist, he devoured all her senses as he moved inside of the woman who was his past, present and future.

Moments later, they both cried out in ecstasy simultaneously.

Harvey's body went limp and collapsed on top of her. He was still fully clothed, and he could not have been more comfortable. If he'd have his way, he would stay here and make love to her all day long. The realization they were hanging onto his condo was a bigger relief than expected and a smile crept up his face.

Being trapped beneath him, Donna took the opportunity to toy with his hair. "You're gonna be late," she wheedled, feeling his lips curl against her skin.

"Mmm. Don't care," came his muffled reply. He didn't want to go, but he knew she was right. He pulled back enough to meet her eyes, a diabolical grin on his lips. "It's not like they can fire me."

"True, but I also don't want to give them any reason to keep you here longer. So, you go take care of business and I'll be waiting here when you get back."

"Promise?" he whispered against her mouth.

"Promise," came her resolute reply.

He planted a warm kiss on her wet lips before disappearing into the bathroom.

As Harvey cleaned himself up, Donna sank into the pillows that were drenched in his scent. She'd be packing today. His belongings. But where were hers? For all she knew, he had donated everything to goodwill, happy to be rid of all the memories, although that idea seemed extreme, even for Harvey. So, when he finally emerged from the bathroom, ready to begin his day, Donna was set to inquire. "Harvey, what did you do with all my things?"

He froze and looked at her, assessing her intent. "They're in storage. Why?"

"Okay, good." Better than good. This was great. As much as she tried to deny it, she had missed some of her furniture, pieces she'd had for over a decade, items with sentimental value. "I was just thinking there might be some things I'd like to bring home with me."

"I'll write the address down, so you can go check it out, if you want."

Donna climbed out of bed and followed him into the living room. "Well, maybe we can go together tomorrow?"

"Sure. I'd like that." The way she stalked him all the way to the front door was ever so alarming, and he stopped before he opened the door, placing his palms on her waist and drawing her to him. Concern tightened his voice when he asked, "Are you gonna be okay here?" Last night, he'd apologized profusely for not gauging the situation correctly and he was not making the same mistake twice. Damn the firm. If she needed him, he'd be there for her.

With her hands on his chest, she stared into his loving eyes. "Yes, Harvey. I'll be fine."

The smile she flashed him wore enough conviction for him to leave without worry.

The door closed behind him and this time, the idea of spending an extended period of time alone in this place wasn't so daunting. She could always reach out to her friends, but none of her old friends knew she was in town, and for the moment, that was perfectly fine with her. There would be time for visits in the future, now that NYC was off the dreaded Places to Avoid list.

She needed to say a proper goodbye to the city that had given her a life she had never dared to dream of having and she wanted to do it with Harvey and no one else.


On Saturday morning, the noise of a metal door being rolled up temporarily drowned out every other sound and once the loudness dissolved, Donna faced a wall of boxes and furniture which at first glance were difficult to make out.

From behind her, Harvey sped to a corner she had barely noticed, too preoccupied with being railroaded by memories from seeing personal items she never expected to see again. Before his body had shielded whatever he was hiding, she had noted a foldout chair with a black shoe box sitting on top of it.

Harvey mumbled something incoherently and Donna joined his side, as he frantically tried to put the box away.

"No, wait. What's that?" On some level she knew what it was, but she couldn't be sure, not having seen the item in so long. She gently took the shoe box from where Harvey had put it and removed the top.

Her throat closed up and she was grateful for the opportunity to sit down, which she did immediately as tears stung her eyes.

Harvey looked on in horror. The last time he'd been to the storage unit was right after his mom passed away and in all his excitement about moving he had forgotten how he would come here occasionally, when he was feeling downhearted; when he missed Donna so much, he needed to be surrounded by her things.

His heart hammered in his chest and left an echo of its rhythm in his brain.

With the box in her lap, Donna sifted through photo after photo of them. Moments captured at the old firm, with Jessica and Louis, Mike and Rachel. Pictures of them in the Hamptons together, at home, even one of her performing on stage, taken from the audience. On top were photos of the last Christmas she'd spent in Boston. One stood out in particular, because the edge was crumpled and it seemed some moisture had left a stain on a picture of her and Lily, in front of Lily and Bobby's fireplace. With watery eyes, she looked up at Harvey, who sported a most sheepish look as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"I, eh…," he stammered.

"You don't have to explain, Harvey. But we are definitely taking this with us." She handed him the photograph and watched how his features wilted.

Harvey took the image and a flash of agony shot through him, remembering the last time he'd held it in his hands. He vividly recalled how much he had cried that day, right before Lily's cremation. He'd never felt lonelier and was completely lost without her, and Donna, and this photo illustrated everything he had ever loved and lost. At the time, he was aware another depression lurked around the corner and this time around his mom wouldn't be there to guide him back into happier pastures. But then she'd asked to have her ashes scattered in the Pacific and she had changed the course of his life.

He swallowed hard and put the photo in the inside pocket of his coat, where he kept it close to his heart, while Donna silently started to sift through her past.

Like his condo, they came to the realization that it was too soon to get rid of the storage unit and decided to keep it for now. Donna chose some items to have shipped and wasn't sure what she wanted to do with the others. So, they would remain here until she made up her mind.


That afternoon, they slapped on some irons and danced on the ice of the Wolman Rink as gentle snowflakes drizzled down from the heavens above. The city seemed to move in slow motion around them, giving Harvey a chance to cherish the moment and lock the memory away for safekeeping; to draw from when inevitably there would be nights when California just wasn't cutting it and he missed the hustle and bustle of the greatest city on earth.

With her cheeks flushed and her nose red from the cold, Donna snuggled closer to Harvey. The upbeat song playing wasn't the type of music to sway to, but they didn't care. Being in love, together, in the place where it all started filled the experience with something extraordinary; something to treasure on the eve of their lives entwining anew.

As day turned into night on their last night in New York, Harvey felt ready, excited and a little sad. For old times' sake, they had dinner at Del Posto and walked all the way home, unfazed by the snow which had blanketed the streets; effortlessly transforming the town into a winter wonderland.

Tiny flakes were still drifting down as Donna linked her arm through Harvey's, drawing from the warmth he supplied as they crossed the street onto his block; the sound of the snow crushing beneath their feet ringing in the night. "You ready to leave this magical place?"

He nodded his head in advance. "I am. I was ready when I booked that one-way ticket. It just feels more real now," he said, pulling her into his shoulder.

"I just hope you'll be as happy in Santa Monica as I am," she said softly, trepidation staining her concern.

Harvey stopped walking and turned to face her. "You'll be there, right?" She nodded. "Then I'll be happy," he stated matter-of-factly. The apprehension he felt had everything to do with fear of the unknown and nothing whatsoever with his intrinsic need to love and be loved by her. And when she wrapped her arms around his waist as snowflakes melted on their shoulders, there was no question they had the love part covered.


Three weeks later, Harvey eased his phone back on the nightstand and shifted to his other side. He'd been awake for at least an hour, excited, nervous, anxious. Once his brain had turned on, there was no shutting it off. Still, he had plenty of time before he was expected at the office. His new office. Because today he would officially start his new job.

The alarm was set for 6 am, which meant he had two more minutes before Donna would be awake, too. He decided he'd be her alarm this morning and switched the mechanical one off. Trailing his gaze over her relaxed features, the dusting of freckles, her soft lips slightly parted, oblivious to his intentions, he leaned down and kissed her until he felt her stir against his mouth.

A dull moan against his lips made him smile and he pulled back, propping himself up on his elbow. "Good morning, Beautiful."

"Mmm. Very good." Donna shut her eyes and moved onto his pillow, nestling herself into his side, breathing him in. It was something she still relished every single day. "You nervous?"

"Not really." After several weeks of not having to go to work, he was actually looking forward to going into the office. He had spoken to Mike the night before and was ready for this new adventure.

Since they had gotten back from New York, he'd spent pretty much every waking moment with Donna or at the gym. She had taken him to all her favorite spots and had shown him her version of Southern California and the longer he was there, the more he loved it.

"Good. You're gonna do great, Mr. General Manager."

"I hope so," he said optimistically, before he jumped out of bed. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Donna smiled at his impatience, knowing how much he had been looking forward to this day. They both knew the demands of the job, whether the title spelled Managing Partner or General Manager. But she was just as excited as he was for him to enter this new chapter.

With his hair still damp and a towel wrapped around his waist, Harvey marched out of the bathroom a little while later, eager to get dressed, when he found Donna sitting at the edge of their bed.

"I have something for you."

Surprise flashed across his face. "What is it?" He watched how she rummaged through her closet to present a white dress shirt on a hanger. She held the garment out, enticing him to look closer. At first sight, it didn't appear that special. He had a dozen of those shirts hanging in that same closet.

"Check out the cuff," she smirked as she jiggled the piece of clothing in front of him.

That's when he finally saw it. The light gray stitching spelling out 'H.R.S.' on the left cuff. His heart swelled as he inspected the embroidered letters, reminiscent of how it used to feel to get dressed for work in the morning, back when he had taken pride in his job, something that had been lacking as of late. And here was Donna reminding him of an essential part of his life. "You didn't have to do this." But man, was he glad she did. He carefully lifted the shirt off the hanger and put it on.

"I noticed the monogram on your new shirts was hidden on the bottom hem, and I thought it might be time you wore your initials for the world to see."

Words failed him as she helped him button up. Of their own volition, his hands cupped her face and he drew her to him for a tender kiss. "Thanks, Donna."

Curled up with the new script for the next play in her lap and a steaming cup of tea in her hand, Donna stretched out on her deck chair, a blanket covering her legs. The air was still cool at night, with it only being February, but the sky was clear as it gently morphed to a darker hue.

After Harvey had left that morning, she had gone to yoga class and in the afternoon, Jackson had announced the new cast for their upcoming version of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. The director must have liked her work in A Christmas Carol, because the part she had been assigned had a lot more meat to it and Donna was thoroughly thrilled.

Despite the joy, throughout the day, her thoughts kept wandering back to Harvey. He had only texted a few times, likely too busy being the new boss to check in with her. She didn't mind, but a mix of worry and nervousness, albeit faintly, nipped at her psyche, thinking how much of their future depended on him enjoying himself here.

The doors to her kitchen were closed, but she heard the soft muffle of the front door closing and anticipation rose in her.

Harvey was home.

She kept peering inside to catch a glimpse of his form, but couldn't see him. A few minutes later, a gentle jazz tune came through the speakers and she smiled.

Not being very tech savvy, Harvey had finally managed to connect his phone to her wireless sound setup, and he had been unstoppable since.

The doors slid open and Harvey stepped outside. His suit jacket was gone and so was his tie. Giving him a quick once-over, she discerned he looked a little worse for the wear from when she had seen him off this morning, but that was to be expected.

"Hey," he greeted her, leaning down to briefly meet her lips. "Got some room there?"

He waited for Donna to put her tea on the table and scoot forward, so he could wedge himself behind her, a leg on each side. As soon as he settled, she leaned back into him and he wrapped his arms around her middle. Immediately, the burdens of the day faded away.

"How was your first day?" She wished she could see his face and read him, but his tone of voice would have to do.

Honestly, the new position had been overwhelming, but nothing he couldn't handle. In fact, it had stirred a dormant desire in him to be in charge again, instead of being on the bottom of the food chain, handling everyday cases. No, he could really build something here. And even though they were in different states, he and Mike worked together again and the thought of having him there to bounce ideas off, was more than exhilarating. Still, he didn't lie when he said, "Intimidating. Challenging. Exciting. There is a lot of work to be done, but I think I have a pretty good team."

"How about your assistant?"

The urge to mock her for being jealous was strong, but he reigned himself in. "She's great. Seems to be good at her job."

"As good as I was?" She half-turned to see him, a teasing smile on her lips.

"No one will ever compare."

"I know," she sassed, looking at the hands wrapped around her and the cuff of his sleeve. She trailed a finger over the monogram. "Just like there's only one Harvey Specter."

He buried his face in her neck and inhaled. "How were things at the theater?"

"Great. I got the part of Titania." She held up the highlighted script for him to see.

"That's a significant part, isn't it? Congratulations!"

"It is. I'm really excited." She leaned into him, relishing the beat of his heart as it reverberated through his chest into her back. "You hungry? I'm making burgers tonight."

"My favorite. But I'm not hungry yet. I just wanna sit here for a minute." Staring up at the sky slowing filling with a thousand stars, Donna wrapped in his arms, Harvey's soul relaxed. If he ever doubted his decision, this moment right here reminded him he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Gazing at the stars, Donna couldn't help a smile from forming. "It's good to have you home, Harvey."

"It's good to be home, Donna."


THE END