A/N: Thank you to my amazing beta JayHawkWrites for taking your time to work with me on this. Thank you for all the reviews, likes, follows and Kudos I have gotten on this story. You have no idea, how very much it means. T.B.
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Chapter 22 Back
Blaine woke up when he felt an arm being placed gently across his waist, feeling a slight chill from Kurt's arm against his naked side. He had opted just to sleep in a pair of lounge pants, choosing not to wear a shirt. "Kurt?" he whispered questioningly, his voice sleep hazed.
"Shh, it's still really early. We'll talk in the morning. Go back to sleep," Kurt said softly, pulling Blaine a little closer to him and placing a soft kiss on the back of his neck.
"'K...love you," Blaine said groggily. He loved being the big spoon and holding Kurt close to him, but being held in Kurt's arms was nice, too. Feeling protected and loved, Blaine snuggled back a little closer to Kurt's chest. He reached for Kurt's hand, gently squeezing it, and was soon back to sleep.
"I love you, too," Kurt whispered before laying his head on the pillow and following Blaine to sleep.
Blaine woke up the next morning to an empty bed. He sat up, sighing and heartbroken all over again. It had been a dream. It had all felt so real he could have sworn Kurt had been in bed with him last night. Running his hands across his face as he sat up and crawled out of bed. He was excited that Kurt would be coming home today. That had probably been what had caused his dream. He had gone to bed the night before thinking about it, wondering what time he would be here. Blaine missed him and hoped they could get everything worked out. He needed his family back.
Blaine stood up, stretched, and walked to the bathroom. When he was done, he grabbed a T-shirt out of his drawer and slipped it on. Since today was Sunday, and he didn't really have anywhere to go, he was going to fix Ali her breakfast and try to get some studying done before Kurt got home. That way they would have time just to talk. When Blaine got close to the kitchen, he heard laughter, and not just Ali's, he heard Max's as well. Kurt. Blaine couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he walked quickly towards the kitchen. It hadn't been a dream, Kurt had come home.
"Hi," Blaine said softly, looking across the kitchen and into Kurt's blue eyes.
"Hi," Kurt whispered, not taking his eyes off of Blaine as he slowly walked over to him. "I missed you so much," he said, slowly wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist, placing his head on his shoulder.
"I missed you too, Kurt, I missed you too," Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Kurt, holding him tight, never wanting to let him go again. Closing his eyes, he placed a kiss on the top of Kurt's head, breathing in his scent. Oh, how he had missed this, missed him. Blaine had desperately missed being able to hold Kurt in his arms whenever he wanted.
"Let the kids finish their breakfast, and then we can talk if you would like," Kurt said, stepping back so that he could look at Blaine.
"Sounds good," Blaine said with a small smile before walking up to Max. "I missed you, little man. Did you have fun at Gran and Paps?" Blaine asked, kissing Max on his cheek. He had really missed that little boy. After placing a kiss on Ali's cheek, Blaine walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup of coffee and refilled Kurt's cup that was sitting on the counter, and took it over to him.
"Yes. I went with Paps to shop," Max said excitedly. He always loved going with his grandfather to the garage. He loved playing around the cars just like Kurt used to when he was little.
"Did you get to fix a car?" Blaine asked, seeing just how excited Max looked, watching the smile on his face.
"Yes," he said with his smile getting bigger.
"Are you guys finished?" Kurt asked, looking at the two kids.
They both nodded their heads. Blaine and Kurt cleaned them up and then helped them out of their seats. "Do you want me to start a movie for you?" Kurt asked, following the kids into the living room. He knew it was time for him and Blaine to talk; he couldn't put it off any longer.
Kurt started the movie for the kids, and then he sat down on the couch, waiting for Blaine to join him. When Blaine finally sat down, he turned so that he was facing Kurt. They just stared at each other in silence, neither one of them knowing what to say or how to start the conversation. Kurt knew it was up to him. He was the one who caused this mess, but he still had no idea how even to begin the conversation he knew they needed to have. Taking a deep breath, Kurt slowly leaned over and placed a kiss on Blaine's lips. He was happy when Blaine kissed him back and wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding onto him for a moment. With just that little bit of contact, Kurt was able to relax a little. He had spent the last week and the whole flight home wondering if he still had a home to come back to, or was Blaine going to turn his back on him. Not that he didn't deserve it, but Kurt knew it would kill him if he did. That hug alone, told him everything he needed to know; they were going to be ok.
"First off, I owe you an apology. I am not going to make excuses about Drew this and Drew that because this was all on me. You didn't deserve what I did, what I said, or how I acted. Blaine, you have shown me nothing but love and respect since the first day I met you. You make me feel special with every single thing you do for Max and me. You have taken my son and shown him more love in the four months we have known you than Drew did his entire life. You let that little boy know that you cared about him and want to spend time with him. On top of that, you don't treat him any differently than you do, Ali. If someone didn't know better, they would think he was your child too," Kurt said, knowing what he had just said was only the tip of the iceberg.
"That's because to me he is my child too," Blaine said, looking at Kurt almost like he was daring him to deny it again.
"I know, Blaine," Kurt said in an understanding tone. "I can't say I'm sorry enough for what I said. He thinks of you as his daddy as well. When we were at dad's, it was daddy this and daddy that. He loves you and Ali so much. He doesn't really sleep if she isn't with him anymore, either," Kurt said, looking at Blaine with a sad smile. "I went home and talked to my dad about everything. He has always been the person I could talk to the most. I know I have Elliot, Finn, and Puck, and I love them all, but my dad understands me better than anyone else. He knows how to get me to listen when I can't make sense of things, and doesn't hesitate to call me out when I'm wrong. I talked to him about what happened, and he reminded me of something...well, I guess helped me understand something would be the better way of putting it. I had told you that my mom died when I was eight. What I didn't tell you was that even though she died and didn't leave me by choice, I struggled to differentiate between those two things since I was so young when it happened, and it left me feeling abandoned. All I knew was she was just gone."
Kurt reached out and took Blaine's hand, needing his support, even though right now he didn't feel like he deserved it. "Right after she died, my dad said I got really quiet. I wouldn't talk to him, my grandparents, no one. He said he was really starting to get worried about it until one day I exploded on him. I don't remember what I said to him, but it wasn't good. Dad said that because mom had left me, I expected him to as well. In the back of my mind, I thought I must have done something bad or said something wrong that made her leave me. I pushed him. I was ugly to him because I needed to know if he was going to leave me too. When he stayed, when he didn't leave me, I finally felt secure enough to be myself again, and I started talking." It had taken Kurt a long time to figure all of this out. He just hoped that it all made sense to Blaine why it was tied into what had happened between them.
"Over the years I have done it again and again without fully realizing what I was doing and why I was doing it. I know one time I went off on Puck. I think I do it when I feel insecure, when I need to know how someone really feels about me. The time I went off on Puck, I remember I had had an awful day. I found out someone that I thought of as a friend wasn't. They were talking and laughing about me behind my back, doing hurtful and spiteful things I only found out about later. It hit me hard because with everything I had gone through, I didn't trust easily. I trusted this person and they let me down." This had hurt so much and still to this day, it stung whenever Kurt thought about it.
"Finn had called Puck to come over to see if he could talk to me, somehow make me feel better. He gave me the whole 'they weren't worth my time anyway' schpeal, and I went off. I needed to see if he was really my friend, or was he just making fun of me too. He stood there, looked at me, and simply asked, 'Are ya done now, princess?' At that moment, I knew he was really my friend, and he wasn't going anywhere." Kurt smiled at the memory and kept talking.
"What's funny, or not funny really, is I have put every single person I have ever cared about through this testing phase if you will at one point or the other, everyone except Drew. I never did that to him. I think I knew that out of everyone that I loved, he would be the one person to leave, and I didn't know if I would be able to handle him leaving me. I'm not saying I love you less than I did him, please don't take it that way. Until I met you, I didn't know what real love was." Kurt was hoping that what he was saying was making some semblance of sense and not just making things worse.
"With Drew, I was going through the motions, saying the words, but I didn't feel it. I just didn't understand what all of this was at the time. You showed me what true love was supposed to be. How a person who is loved is supposed to be treated. Somehow I just knew you wouldn't leave me, you would always stay, but I just had to push. It wasn't an intentional, 'let's push Blaine, to see just as far I can,' kinda thing. But that day after losing my job, I got really insecure with you for the first time. I had just messed up big and given you every possible reason to walk out on me. You had every right to do just that, and in my mind, I would have deserved it. So I pushed. If you were going to leave me, I needed to know right then. I am so sorry. I know that apologizing doesn't come close to making it ok, I do, but I am sorry, and I just hope you can somehow forgive me." Kurt breathed a breath of relief. He was proud of himself that he was able to get through that whole explanation without breaking down or rambling. He knew that explaining all of this was important and if Blaine chose to stay with him, he'd be able to call him out if he ever pushed in the future.
Blaine reached out and pulled Kurt to him, kissing him with everything he had. He had missed him so much. "I'm not going anywhere, Kurt. You can't get me to walk away from you that easily. I happen to be in love with you. You, Ali, and Max are my world. If I didn't make you feel that way every single day, then I let you down, and I will work harder from now on to make sure you know that," Blaine said, kissing Kurt again.
"I love you, too, Blaine, so much...hold that thought a minute," Kurt said like he had forgotten something. Blaine watched as he walked over to his suitcase he had stood up against the wall just inside the door. Blaine watched as Kurt pulled a manila envelope out of the front pocket of his suitcase and brought it over to Blaine, handing it to him before sitting back down.
Blaine stared at the envelope for a moment before opening it up and pulling out the papers that were inside. He looked them over, tears streaming down his face. "I don't understand," Blaine said, looking at the paper once again and then back at Kurt.
"When I went to Lima, I spent a lot of time thinking about what was important. Besides Max, you and Ali were on the very top of that list. I stopped by my lawyer's office. He is the one who drew up the surrogacy papers for Drew and me..." was all Kurt was able to get out before Blaine interrupted him.
"But Kurt, these are adoption papers," Blaine said quietly, looking at the papers he was still holding. He felt his chest swelling, hoping what he thought was going on really was.
"I know you already feel like Max is yours. I wanted to make it official. I didn't want to wait until after the wedding. I wanted it now. So Blaine Devon Anderson, will you officially become the father of Maxwell Burt Hummel?" Kurt said, holding his breath, hoping this was something that Blaine would want too.
"Kurt, this says his name will be Maxwell Burt Anderson," Blaine said. He was thoroughly confused.
"I know, I just thought… I thought you wanted to be Max's father," Kurt couldn't believe he had gotten things so wrong.
"Kurt, of course, I want to be his father, and I would have happily adopted him yesterday if I could've. I just don't understand the name," Blaine answered him.
"So, you don't want to give him your name?" Kurt asked, trying to stop the tears that were flooding his eyes. He was having flashbacks of when Drew had said he didn't want to give Max his name.
"God, no! Kurt, of course, I want him to have my name. I would be so proud to give him my name. I was just shocked. I thought we would hyphenate. You know, become Hummel-Anderson or Anderson-Hummel whichever you preferred. I never expected you to give up your last name for me, Kurt," Blaine said, looking at him, still in shock.
"I talked to my dad about this too. It's something I want to do. I decided that I do want to look into designing my own clothing line, and I would use Hummel as my professional name. I was thinking Designs by Hummel, or something like that. And, before you offer, no, I will not take your money," Kurt said, looking at Blaine.
"But, Kurt…" Blaine started but was stopped by Kurt.
"Blaine, listen. I love that you want to do that for me. That you are willing to do that for me, but I don't need you too. I have money in a trust fund that I have never touched. When my mom was killed in the car wreck, it was written in her will that the money from her life insurance policy was put into a trust fund for me. Dad got everything except the money from her life insurance policy. It has been in an account drawing interest since I was eight years old. I was able to use it the day I turned 21, but never really needed it. So between that and the money I got from selling my apartment, I can do it on my own. I will, however, take you up on the offer to temporarily turning the guest room/study into a design studio until I need to find a bigger space," Kurt said, hopeful that Blaine would be okay with these terms. "I also have one more question for you," Kurt said smiling.
"You can ask me anything," Blaine said meaning it. He was glad they had worked through their issues, and he now had a better understanding of Kurt and some of his thought processes.
Kurt looked at Blaine for a few minutes, "Blaine, if this week has taught me anything, it is that I never want to live my life without you again. I will strive to do better, be better, and never give you any reason to doubt me again. If I start feeling insecure or overwhelmed again, I will come to you and tell you, and I want you to call me out if you can see it and I haven't noticed it yet. I know, saying I am sorry, will never be enough to undo the damage I did, but I am. I want to rebuild your trust in me. Do you still want to… are you still interested in marrying me?" Kurt said, feeling nervous, but knowing this was a question he needed to be answered before he went any further.
"Of course, I do, sweetheart. I love you more than you will ever know and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you that. I don't want you ever to doubt my love for you again. Of course, I still want to marry you," Blaine answered, never meaning anything more. He knew that he and Kurt hadn't been together that long, but he knew what he felt, and he knew he would never feel that way about anyone else. With Kurt, he was home.
Kurt reached in his pocket and pulled out a small square box and looked up at Blaine. "As I said, I did a lot of thinking while I was in Lima, and I know what I want. I have no doubts that I am where I am supposed to be. I was always meant to be here with you, loving you. I know you asked me to marry you, and I said yes already. When you slid your ring on my finger, it was the proudest moment of my life," Kurt said, stopping for a moment to look at Blaine.
"Blaine, other than Max and Ali, my life begins and ends with you. I want to spend the next seventy years, or however long we are given, going to bed with you, waking up with you the next morning, and loving you every minute in between. You are a piece of me that until I met you, I didn't even know I was missing. Blaine, you, Max, and Ali are all I will ever need. So, Blaine Devon Anderson, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" Kurt said, opening the lid of the box he was holding, his hand shaking.
Blaine could only stare at Kurt for a moment, feeling tears start rolling down his face, in total awe of the man in front of him. "Yes, Kurt, one hundred percent yes," Blaine said before pulling Kurt into his arms and kissing him the way he had wanted to since he first felt that arm wrap around his waist this morning. Blaine felt like he was the luckiest man in the world, and he had every intention of spending the rest of his life letting Kurt know how much he was loved.
