Let It Be Me
Spring 1992
Ross opens the door to apartment twenty and walks into the kitchen as he looks towards the living room to see if anyone is there. He tilts his head inquisitively as he notices Chandler sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table, watching television. He reaches into the cabinet, pulls out a mug, and makes his way over to the carafe on the counter, which thanks to his sister, he knows is filled with fresh brewed coffee. He pours himself a cup and grabs the sugar bowl.
"Hey dude, what are you doing here?"
Chandler turns his head and twists his lips into a crooked frown. "Dude? So, I guess you're committed to that?"
"Oh, come on. Dude. Duderino. Duder-rama. Dudemeister. It's so versatile."
Chandler lifts his eyebrows and shakes his head as he turns around to focus his attention back on the TV.
Ross finishes fixing up his cup of coffee and walks over to the back of the couch. "What's going on?"
Chandler sighs as he changes the channel. "The movers are coming for the rest of Kip's things and he is going to stop by to make sure they get everything. I figured I would hide out here until he was done."
"Really? Why?" Ross walks around the couch and sits next to Chandler, placing his coffee cup on the table.
"Because it is always better to avoid the awkward conversations than to actually have them." He changes the channel again with the remote and gestures towards Ross's mug. "You better put a coaster under that, or Monica will kill you when she gets back."
Ross looks around the apartment again. "Where is Monica?"
"She went to work."
"Now? It's like ten in the morning."
"She doesn't want to be here when Kip shows up either."
Ross nods slowly and slips a coaster under his cup. "Thanks for taking care of her during the break-up. You and Phoebe are real lifesavers. I really wish I was around more when that was all going down. Carol and I are just in this weird place, you know, and I really have to concentrate on my marriage."
Chandler nods without taking his eyes from the TV as he changes the channel again. "How is that going?"
"Well, I did some research and I read that married couples who fall into a rut should try to do things together outside of the house. Dance lessons, horseback riding, or join a gym. So, I thought, how about we both take a karate class?"
Chandler finally turns his attention away from the television long enough to shoot Ross an incredulous look. "What?"
"Yeah. I was thinking, we wear those sexy karate outfits.."
Chandler can't help but interrupt. "Sexy?"
Ross shoots Chandler a glare and continues. "We get all sweaty together, do some, uh, grappling. I think it will really give us the boost we need to reignite the flames of passion." Ross takes a triumphant sip of his coffee.
Chandler begins to cackle with delight. "Are you crazy? Your plan is to literally fight with your wife."
"Uh…."
"Good luck with that, dude." Chandler lets sarcasm drip from his words and changes the channel again.
Ross glares at Chandler and shakes his head. "You don't know what you're talking about. Carol will love it! And for God's sake will you please pick a channel!" He fidgets a bit in his seat and then looks back over at Chandler. "So, uh, Monica is okay?"
"Pretty much. She'll get there. I think. We're going to go down to the bar tonight for a drink and to play some pool. You think you guys can meet us?"
"I don't know, if everything goes right tonight at the dojo, I might be mastering the marital arts as well as the martial arts." Ross starts to chuckle smugly.
Chandler shakes his head. "Whatever dude."
Fall 1996
Ross walks into apartment twenty and smiles instantly as the familiar, warm and inviting aroma of Thanksgiving food fills the air. It snakes its way into his nostrils and almost knocks him over with delight. He removes his jacket, places it on the hook by the door and turns to smile at his sister, who is standing at the sink, straining water from a pot of potatoes.
"Wow, Monica. Everything smells so great already!"
"I know! I really think I am going to outdo myself this year."
Ross looks around and then pulls out a chair from the kitchen table to sit. "Where's Rach?"
"She is still in the shower. Also, be warned. If you sit here, you will be put to work."
Ross gets up quickly and walks briskly into the living room. "Did she just get in the shower or has she been in there a while?"
Monica places a large bowl filled with cooked potatoes on the table and grabs a mixer from the kitchen counter. "She is right at the halfway mark."
"Oh, okay, so I guess that means I won't see her for another hour."
"At least." Monica chuckles as she begins to prepare her first order of mashed potatoes. "You know, I could use a little help."
"What? But I'm already over here."
Monica shakes her head and scowls at her brother. "Can you at least turn on the TV so I can listen to the parade?"
Ross nods and picks up the remote. "Hey, when is everyone else coming over?"
"Phoebe is coming over around one, but Joey and Chandler should be here in about an hour. Everyone conveniently showing up after all the work is done."
"Okay! Fine! I'll help." Ross turns the television on before getting up and walking back into the kitchen. "What can I do?"
"Can you fold the napkins?"
Ross nods, picks up the napkins and starts to fold them. "Hey, how is Chandler doing? I keep meaning to check on him, but something with Rachel always comes up."
Monica eyes her brother as he folds, inspecting each finished napkin to ensure they are up to her standards. "Well, he's not great. All mopey and depressed. The other night, Joey had a date, so I had him come over; we watched Caddy Shack and Young Frankenstein and he hardly laughed!"
"Wow. It must be bad. Those are two of his favorite movies."
"I know! Anyway, I figured I would make him a special Thanksgiving dinner. I know he normally eats grilled cheese or mac and cheese, but I thought I would make him a nice chicken." Monica smiles proudly as she looks over her shoulder to the chicken that was prepped on the counter.
"A chicken?"
"Yeah. Something a little extra. You know what they say; food fixes everything."
Ross chuckles. "Mon, I think that was just you who used to say that."
Monica twists her face up and mocks her brother's tone as she continues mixing up the potatoes. "Anyway, I figure a nice, home-cooked meal will help him get over Janice."
"I don't know if chicken is really going to work."
"My chicken will."
"I'm glad you're here for him. I feel bad not being able to take him out or something like that. He's my oldest friend."
"Well, he has Joey, and I'm always here for him. You know I'll always take care of him."
"I know. He's lucky to have you looking out for him."
Summer 1997
Ross steps into apartment nineteen and looks around in hopes of finding one of its occupants still there, but instead, he finds that the kitchen and living room are empty. He bops his head side-to-side as he contemplates what his next move should be and then focuses his attention on the refrigerator. He nods slightly as he tosses his briefcase on top of the foosball table and grabs the handle to the fridge at the same time. He swings the door open and bends down to look inside, only to recoil once the smell of something that he assumes must have gone rotten fills his nostrils.
He twists his face up in disgust and shakes his head vigorously as he tries to shuffle off the foul odor. He brings his arm up to his mouth and starts to move objects around on the shelves, hoping to find the odorous culprit. He spies some old Chinese takeout boxes, a jar with a very suspect green, slushy liquid inside it, a bag that is filled with ham, a jar of pickles, a Tupperware container that has two olives in it, three beers and a bottle of Snapple.
He pulls out the Snapple and lifts it up to inspect it, but frowns when he sees it has already been opened and may or may not have something floating in it. He returns it to the fridge and closes the door, shaking his head in defeat and shuddering at the horrors he had witnessed inside.
"Hey man! What's up?"
He turns quickly and sees Chandler, who is slipping on his suit jacket as he steps out of his bedroom. Ross shakes his head and points at the refrigerator. "My god, you two have to do something about that."
"What?"
"Whatever smells like death in there! I swear something moved when I opened the fridge just now."
"Well, Joe is really in charge of the refrigerator. I sort of keep to the cabinets. Your cereals, your chips, your cans of soup, your spaghetti; you know, things like that." Chandler flattens his mouth and offers Ross a skeptical look as he raises his eyebrows. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"I'm waiting for Rachel to leave for work before I go over there." Ross gestures with his thumb towards the door.
"Oh man, are we going through this again! I can't handle a second break up with you two." Chandler starts to pat his pockets down. "Where are my cigarettes?"
"Calm down! It isn't that, it's just, after the other night, I uh, I think we still need to cool off a bit. I promise, this is not going to be like last time when you guys were all caught in the middle. Rachel and I can be civil."
Chandler steps gingerly towards Ross and eyes him over. "You sure man?"
"Yeah…" his voice trails off as he darts his eyes up and gives Chandler a half-smile. He clears his throat so he can answer more confidently. "Yes. I promise."
Chandler nods and then walks over to the counter to gather his wallet and keys. "Well, I'm going to go over there. I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat in our fridge."
"Oh, there's something in there all right." Ross chuckles and shifts a bit between his feet. "Hey, with everything going on at the beach with Rachel and Bonnie and then back here the other night, I haven't really been able to check in on Monica. You were hanging out with her all week. How has she been doing after all the Pete stuff?"
Chandler looks down and twists his lips into an uneasy smile. "I think she is good. She's just down about being alone, you know?"
"You mean she's being Monica."
Chandler chuckles and nods. "Yeah, I guess."
"Well, uh, will you keep an eye on her? I would, but I think the less time I spend over there the better for now."
"Sure man. But you should know, Mon, she's good. She's tough."
"I know, but sometimes she can get so down about this kind of thing. You remember how she was with Richard."
Chandler nods. "Yeah, but this is different."
"I know."
Chandler looks down and flashes a sad smile. "She just needs to find the right guy."
Ross laughs under his breath and then shakes his head. "Good luck with that. She is not easy to please."
"Really? I don't know, I mean, I get that she can get all…Monica sometimes…but she's a catch."
"No, I know that, but she can be her own worst enemy when it comes to relationships. She has all these expectations about the guys she dates. Richard didn't want kids; she breaks up with him. Pete didn't want to keep all his original teeth or leave any of his bones unbroken; she breaks up with him."
"Take it from me, it is always better to be the break upp-er than the break upp-ee." Chandler chuckles again to himself. "You know, she shouldn't settle though, right? Monica wants what she wants, and she deserves to get it."
"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want her to be so picky that she ends up all alone, you know." Ross grabs his briefcase from the foosball table and turns towards the door. "All right, I think we wasted enough time. We probably should go over there."
Chandler nods. "You sure you're up for it?"
"Yeah, it's already nine, Rachel is going to be leaving any minute." Ross puts his hand on Chandler's shoulder. "Thanks for looking out for my sister while I was dealing with all of this Rachel stuff."
"She'd do the same for me."
Winter 1998
Ross walks into Apartment nineteen and is immediately taken aback by the inviting smell of fresh bacon and pancakes. He looks around and smiles as he notices the serving trays filled with food on his sister's kitchen table. Sliced fruit, bacon, pancakes, rolls, muffins, orange juice, coffee. It is a veritable cornucopia of breakfast delicacies. He smiles when he notices that Monica even has a vase filled with flowers as a centerpiece.
He reaches over to grab a piece of bacon and munches on it, moaning as he savors the perfectly cooked piece of meat. He drops his briefcase down on the chair next to him and turns around to face the refrigerator. He opens the door and pokes his head around. The shelves are stocked with food containers; each one labeled and facing out. There's milk, juice, bottled water, diet soda, and some iced tea neatly placed on the top rack.
"Hey Ross!"
Ross turns his head and sees Monica stepping out of the bathroom. She is wearing a smart pair of light purple pajamas and a red and black robe. She glides into the kitchen and smiles at her brother as he pulls out a small bottle of cranberry juice from the fridge.
"Hey! Wow. It smells and looks great in here!"
"I know!" Monica walks over to the cabinets and starts to pull out some coffee mugs.
"What are you up to?"
"Well, after work I'm going to see Emily again."
"Really? Wow. Is this getting serious?"
"What? Oh, I don't know. I'm not putting any pressure on it. I don't want another Carol situation, you know. The last thing I need is to jump into anything too serious."
Monica laughs as she places the cups on the table. "Ross. I'm sure you are only going to marry one lesbian."
Ross mocks laughter and shakes his head. "No really, I think my problems with Carol were that I rushed into the relationship. I was already thinking about marriage before college was over. This time, I'm just going to take it slooooowwww."
Monica rolls her eyes dismissively. "Okay."
"Hey, how is Chandler doing? I feel bad that I was off in Vermont when all the Kathy stuff went down, but I'm sure he understood."
Chandler? Yeah, He's in phase three or four, I don't know. But me and my girls took care of him."
"Really? You Phoebe and Rachel helped him get to phase four?"
"Yeah."
Ross looks Monica up and down suspiciously. "You went to a strip club?"
"They aren't as bad as I thought they would be. The low light helps hide a lot, and I actually came away with a couple of good Halloween costume ideas. Although, I'll probably look for stuff with a bit more coverage." Monica gestures towards her own body and covers herself instinctively.
Ross shakes his head and sits down at the table, grabbing a plate as he starts to place food on it. "I'm glad you were here. Chandler does better with you in these situations than me anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"When we used to deal with stuff like this back in college, we didn't really talk about things. We just got drunk and said mean stuff about the girls we broke-up with. With you, he gets actual advice and empathy."
"You two don't have empathy for each other?"
"Do you know any guys?"
Monica nods reluctantly in agreement. "He seems much better now, despite the occasional sarcastic comment."
"I was so surprised that he even went out with Kathy in the first place."
Monica sits down next to him as she pours herself some coffee. "How so?"
"Don't tell him I said this, but Chandler tends to go for women that either aren't available or are way out of his league. It's almost like he is so afraid to be in a relationship, that he picks women that he knows he has no shot at. You know, so it is over before it even begins."
"Really?"
"Sure. Look at the last two years. Janice was still married. Kathy was Joey's girlfriend. It's like he falls for these women that he won't have to invest himself in fully. Then when they fall apart, he gets all those bad impressions he has about relationships reinforced. I think he was probably just as surprised that it worked out with Kathy for as long as it did as we were." Ross takes another bite of bacon and nods to himself.
"Don't include me in that! I thought he was really sweet with her. I don't think he was cynical about their relationship at all."
Ross scoffs. "I remember this one time in college, he had this huge crush on this girl that Gandalf had gone out with a few times, but he never did anything about it, because of the rules. He tortured himself for months about it."
Monica twists her face up in confusion. "The rules?"
"Yeah. Guys have these rules. You can't date a friend's ex, or a girl who he is related to, or, uh, a girl he likes. So, he was able to spend all of junior year pining away for this girl that he was never going to ask out."
"That's stupid!"
"That's Chandler."
Monica shakes her head. "Not him! I mean you guys and your rules. You and Rachel went out, if we followed your stupid rules, that wouldn't have been allowed."
Ross tilts his head and looks up as he searches his mind. "Uh, well, they're more like guidelines."
"I don't know. I think if someone you care about has a chance to be happy, you shouldn't stand in their way just because of one of your stupid rules."
"I guess you have a point."
"You're damn right I have a point. What kind of friend to Rachel would I have been if I told her she couldn't date you? Or what kind of sister would I be to tell you who you could go out with?"
Ross grumbles under his breath but then nods reluctantly. "Okay, all right. I get it."
Monica waves her finger in Ross's face. "I know you better not get in the way of any of my relationships!"
"I don't think we have to worry about that. It isn't like you and Joey are gonna start dating."
Spring 1998 – Ross and Emily's Rehearsal Dinner
Ross stomps away from his parents' table again, exhaling angrily and mutters to himself. Before he can turn around to look where he is going, he bumps into Chandler, who deftly avoids having the two drinks he is carrying spill.
Chandler checks himself to ensure nothing splashed on him and then looks up at Ross. "Hey? You okay there?"
"What? Yeah, it's a whole thing with my dad and Emily's dad. I don't want to get into it." Ross looks over his shoulder at a table in the corner of the room and sees his sister sitting there, slumped over with a scowl on her face. "What's going on with Monica?"
"Huh, oh, ahhh, she's just a little down."
Ross rolls his eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh. "I really don't have time to deal with that now."
"That's okay. I got her. I'll hang out with her tonight. Joey took off already anyway. What else was I going to do? A little time with the Chan-Chan man and she'll be all right. Or, she will want to kill me and forget whatever else is bothering her."
Ross puts his hand on Chandler's shoulder. "Thanks man. You're a life saver. I don't know what I would do without you."
Spring 1998 – The Morning of Ross and Emily's Wedding
Ross steps out of his room and starts to walk briskly through the hallways. He looks back over his shoulder and smiles, knowing that tonight he will be moved to the honeymoon suite, where he and Emily will privately celebrate their wedding. He allows himself to swagger a bit, as he thinks about how he will finally be able to have sex with his fiancé, for the first time since he arrived in London. He stops when he reaches his sister's room and starts to knock on the door.
"Mon? You in there? Are you awake?"
When he went to sleep last night, he had resolved himself to check in on her in the morning. After seeing the state she was in when he bumped into Chandler, he knew he would not feel good about himself if he simply ignored it until after the wedding was over.
He waits for a few moments and presses his ear to the door in an attempt to listen for any sign of someone walking around inside the room.
"Unbelievable. I finally have a few minutes to check on her and she isn't even here!"
Ross steps away and looks down the hall towards where Joey and Chandler's room is. He nods to himself and pulls out his wallet. He flips through the billfolds until he find the spare keycard that Chandler gave him in the event Joey lost his.
He realizes, as with so many other times in the past, that he can check in with Chandler to make sure that Monica is all right. Always able to rely on him to look out for his sister whenever she was feeling down. He rolls his eyes as he remembers the image of her from the night before, with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. "Leave it to Monica to try and make my rehearsal dinner all about her!"
He wonders to himself exactly what could have even been wrong with her in the first place. She seemed so happy when they went to the hall the other night to show Emily how they decorated the venue. She beamed whenever they discussed details for the wedding. How could she have crashed so hard after being so high?
He shakes his head. "Thank God for Chandler."
He stops at Chandler and Joey's door and slips the keycard into the slot, but then hesitates for a moment. "You know what, if there's a real problem, he'll tell me. He and Monica have gotten so close over the years, she doesn't need me looking out for her too. Besides. I'm getting married today! I don't have time to deal with all this."
He pauses and smiles as he looks down. "I'm getting married today!"
In one motion he excitedly unlocks and swings the door open. Today isn't a day to deal with drama and heartache. It isn't the time to dwell on the past. Today is about a celebration, and Ross was going to celebrate. "Chandler has always been good at giving Monica what she needs. I'm sure he took care of her last night too!"
He steps inside the room, just at the doorway and begins to yell enthusiastically.
"I'm getting married today!"
A/N: I went through all the chapters in this story and reworked them. Mostly to fix errors I caught, or poorly worded sentences. Sometimes to fix dialogue. I don't know how, but I ended up with about 25,000 more words.
I'm not saying anyone has to go back and reread anything, but, I do think, on average, there's at least three new jokes a chapter. That's not bad value!
Actually, all I wanted to do was clean up some obvious spelling issues, past/present tense mix-ups, spelling errors, things like that. There were a lot in those early chapters. I mean, a lot, like, I have no idea why anyone kept reading these chapters kind of errors that no doubt most people who have English as a second language caught, because you people know the rules much better than we do.
I want to thank Babatomyfriends for going through these and catching even more errors, which while a blow to my self-esteem, is invaluable in making these little stories better. She is probably already writing to tell me how bad I messed this chapter up right now! Ha, ha.
I am hoping to do this with most of my older chapters and stories, just so the reading experience is improved for everyone. I am also going to keep updating my other stories, I have a few chapters in the pipeline right now and they should be out soon.
As always, thank you so much for reading, and thanks to everyone who gives me feedback. I really appreciate it.
