Author's Note: Ugh, this chapter was so hard to write.


Chapter 31


"Eva?" a distant voice called out. "Eva, are you okay?" Who is that? They're so far away. Am I dead? …Rem. Eva's eyes shot open and she inhaled sharply, as if she had been under water, without air. The room around her was a blur, so was the figure hovering over her. She screamed, clawing at the thing. Monster! All of her animalistic fear and survival instincts kicked in at that moment. Everything she had been trying to express when she was first confronted with that snake-beast was pouring out of her. "Eva! Stop!" The figure wrapped its arms around her, holding her against her will as she squirmed. Tears began to spill out of her eyes. More screams. "Eva! You're okay!" She recognized that voice. She recognized his smell. Her breathing became less panicked and erratic. Her body relaxed slightly into his arms, or maybe it just grew exhausted from fighting. "You're okay…." he repeated softly. Eva blinked away the tears, her vision returning to normal.

"Light…what happened?" she whispered in his ear, bringing her arms around his torso. He gently leaned her back. She gripped his arms with fear, only releasing them when she realized she was being lowered into a pile of pillows. She looked around. It was her room. She was in her bed…safe. But how?

"You fainted when you saw her—the god of death, I mean." Light explained.

"Rem…." Eva tried to get up out of bed, but her head began to spin.

"Stay in bed." Light urged, pushing her back down into the pillows. You might have hurt yourself when you fell. Just give your body a little bit of rest." Eva's eyes followed the chain still attaching Light to L. The black-haired detective stood in the room uncomfortably shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his hands stubbornly shoved into his pockets. It was the first time he had made eye contact with Eva since she had told him about her decision. It was short-lived. When Eva refused to start the conversation, he simply tore his grey orbs away from hers and stared at the ground.

"Is that thing here?" Eva turned back to Light.

"Downstairs." Light said with a small nod. "Stay in bed. We'll handle it and fill you in." Eva nodded. She didn't want to be anywhere near that monster. Despite being one of the tallest buildings in the city, their headquarters wasn't big enough for both Eva and a god of death.


Eva laid in her bed, terrified. She had been sleeping with her back to the door when the clicking of the handle had woken her up. Rem. She as too scared to move, too scared to turn around and confirm what she thought: a god of death was behind her, ready to reap her.

"Eva." his voice gave her a momentary startle, but then relaxed her. He was no god of death. She sat up and turn toward him.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered into the dark. The moonlight from her window illuminated his face…and the stack of documents in his arms. "Everything I missed from the case?" she asked with an amused smile.

"No." L answered more seriously. "I've been researching your condition." He set the documents down on her bed and began to shuffle through them. "There are a number of medical procedures and remedies that could—" Eva quickly moved toward him and wrapped her hands around his wrists, stopping his search.

"I don't think any amount of research is going to help this, Ryuzaki." She forced a smile when he gave her the saddest look she had ever seen. "I've made my decision." She pulled on his wrists and he let the paper fall haphazardly around the bed as he climbed in to hold her.

"Are you sure about this?" L asked.

"I am." Eva answered, leaning her head against his shoulder. There was a brief pause in their conversation before L spoke up again.

"I've made arrangements with Watari, in the likely event that I'll be killed by Kira in the coming days: funds have bene secured for your treatment, health, and any complications that arise. Whatever medical decisions you make—money will not be a barrier to them."

"Don't say that." Eva admonished. She lifted her head and planted a kiss on his cheek, surprised to find it wet against her lips. "…Ryuzaki?" Eva understood then: L hadn't been distant from her because he didn't care; he had been distant because he cared too much. "It'll be okay." she whispered, hugging him tightly.


November 5, 2004

I'm so happy to have found love.

True love.


Eva laid in bed smiling. The heavy rain pounded against her slightly open window, filling the room with its smell. She tightened the sheets around her naked body and pushed herself further into L's warmth. They had made love every night since he had uncuffed himself from Light, and they had planned to make up for the lost time. Waking up in his arms every morning was exactly how she had imagined her life. This was her true happiness. She smiled when he shifted in bed behind her, tightening his arm around her torso, and kissing her neck.

"Ryuzaki…listen." Eva whispered, running her hand through his hair.

"What is it?" he asked, stopping his movements. The distant ringing soothed her. Eva closed her eyes and smiled. She could hear it even through the heavy rain.

"Church bells…."

"I don't hear them." L admitted.

"Really?" Eva asked. "They're so loud…." L shook his head and smiled, throwing off the sheets and heading to the bathroom to shower. The duo went through their separate morning routines and headed downstairs to the main room. Eva uncomfortably shifted around Rem. Rem watched her closely, like a predator eyeing its prey. Every bone in Eva's body wanted her to run away screaming in the opposite direction, but she fought the urge. She had to stop receiving briefings and actually rejoin the case at some point. Chances were this god of death wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Eva flipped on her computer, and immediately noticed the news headline on her homepage. "No way…." Kira….


The task force dug through information: sixteen confirmed deaths after Higuchi's death that fit Kira's modus operandi. There was yet another Kira. It felt so hopeless.

"These killings began as soon as Misa was free, didn't they?" L asked.

"Ryuzaki, are you still going on about that? She has nothing to do with this!" Light seemed strange…defensive. He had never shown so much care and protection toward Misa before. Why was he acting like this all of the sudden? "Think about it: this started as soon as Higuchi died."

"I suppose you're right." L mumbled, emptying out his box of cookies on the table in front of him. "O well. If there is another notebook floating around out there and someone is now using it to kill criminals, I'll just have to bring that person to justice." L bit off the head of his panda-shaped cookie.

"Ryuzaki, I've been thinking: even if we do manage to catch the person who's been writing names in the notebook, will we really be able convict and punish them for mass homicide?" Light asked.

"What?" Eva and Matsuda asked in unison, turning to face Light.

"Of course, we can." Eva answered. "Haven't you staked everything, your career, your education, on that?"

"Yea! This guy's intentionally writing names in the notebook, knowing that these people are going to die. Even if we don't plan on publicly acknowledging the notebook, the least we can do is execute the killer." Matsuda added.

"It's not a very humane way to do things, but the higher ups would probably want to take measures like that." Aizawa agreed.

"If they admit to killing with the notebook, they'd receive the death penalty, or life in prison, at least." L took another bite of his cookie. "That's the best that they could hope for." he mumbled with a full mouth. Eva thought she saw a smirk on Light's face. What's gotten into him?


"What happened to you two?" Eva asked, eyeing a soaking wet Light Yagami and an equally drenched L as they entered the main room of the headquarters.

"He was going on and on about bells." Light grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

"Ryuzaki! You somehow got permission to use the notebook for an execution in another country?!" Matsuda yelled, cutting straight to the chase.

"Excellent work, Watari. Thank you." L stated, ignoring the outrage. He crouched down in front of his computer, hosting the capital Cloister Black 'W.'

"Not at all." Watari replied.

"First thing's first: please make arrangements to transport the notebook." L instructed.

"Right."

"Ryuzaki, what are you trying to do?" Light asked.

"I'm going to try out the notebook for real." L replied, tapping a spoon against the pages of the Death Note. One corner was distinctly torn.

"We can't do that!" Aizawa yelled, standing up from his desk chair. "And there's no point in testing it out now when we already know the notebook's power is real."

"There is reason to test the rules." Eva chimed in. "If we know exactly the parameters Kira was working in, it would be much easier to figure out where this all originated."

"But who's going to write the name?" Matsuda questioned, still skeptical about the plan. "If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the thirteen day rule and keep writing names forever."

"It's already been worked out." L assured. "The person who will write in the book is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over thirteen days. If he's still alive in thirteen days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution."

"But still…to sacrifice a life—" Soichiro started.

"We're very close!" L yelled, cutting him off. If we work this out, the entire case will be solved." As if on cue, Eva heard a deafening clap of thunder and lights momentarily went off before the system rebooted on a generator.

"A blackout?" Eva asked, standing from her chair.

"Watari?" L called out, hoping to receive an answer. All screens went white, stating "All data deletion" and nothing else.

"Data deletion? What the hell's going on?" Aizawa yelled.

"I told Watari to make sure that he should erase all information in the event that something were to happen to him." L explained through gritted teeth.

"Something? Like what? Is he okay?" Eva began looking around. "…hey."

"Where is the god of death?!" She wasn't sure who asked the question. The fear and panic began to set in again. Eva looked around the room frantically. Rem…where is Rem?

"I don't see it!"

"It disappeared!"

"What's going on?!" The voices were all a blur now. Eva turned around to face L and saw him freeze in mid-sentence.

"Ryuzaki?" Eva asked, taking a timid step toward him. It felt like an eternity. Eva watched L's body slowly fall from his chair. She watched Light dive for him, holding his head up before it could hit the ground. Her body felt so slow as she ran to stand by his side and caught his fleeting last moments. She dropped to her knees, taking him from Light's arms. She barely saw the whites of his eyes beneath his closed lids and lashes, she barely felt his last exhale against her face. Then there was nothing. No pulse, no heartbeat, no breath…no L. Eva ignored the commotion around her, focusing only on L. She stroked his face gently as her tears fell from her chin and landed on his already wet shirt. "Wake up…."

Would you like to trade seats with me? I don't need to get up during the exam.

Really? That would be wonderful! Thank you so much!


November 6, 2004

This notebook is all I have left of him…and I can't even bear to look at it. Every time I see his writing, his words…I want to die. It's too painful to live without him.


Light stood at the entrance of the headquarters, waiting for Eva's car to pull up. This was it. He had gotten rid of everything in his way. He was the god of the new world. All he needed now was his queen. She had gone with the paramedics who had declared L dead on arrival. She had given them his alias and identified the body. It must have been unpleasant for her, sure, but it was a necessary pain. Now they could set all of their distractions aside and truly make each other happy. Light smiled as the car stopped at the curb and Eva stepped out. His smile quickly fell when he noticed the lifeless, emotionless look on her face. She was hard as stone. She made no attempts at eye contact or conversation, opting to walk right by him, as if he were a god of death lurking in the shadows, invisible to her.

"Eva…." he called out to her. She ignored him as she stepped onto the elevator, nearly letting the doors close on him. "Talk to me." No words were exchanged as she stepped off the elevator and made her way into her room, packing her bags. "We don't have to move out the headquarters so soon…."

"I'm stepping off the Kira investigation." Her voice sounded raspy and hoarse, as if she had been screaming.

"What? Don't you want revenge?" Light pushed as she packed the last of her things and carried the bag to L's room. She opened his drawer and her face broke. Eva gently lifted his shirt out of a drawer and brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply. Tears spilled from her eyes.

"No…I just want L back." she finally answered, packing his clothes as well. The answer pained Light. It was a blow he wasn't sure he would recover from. He had done all of this for her. How could he make her see that? How could he make her see how much he loved her?

"I don't think you should be by yourself." Light said, wrapping his arms around her. She didn't reciprocate the gesture. "Come stay with me for a while."

"Goodbye, Light." She pulled away from him, tearing him in half as she disappeared into the elevator.